01x06 - Bananas Foster

[bunniefuu]

♪

[director's voice] VH1 promo, take 1.

Action!

Um-

You look great.

I'm really not feeling this.

That was...

[director's voice] Cut!

That was, first of all, so good.

It's like, not really working for me.

You know what?

You gotta keep the top up.

Of the banana?

You gotta keep your stem up,

'cause otherwise you look very pear-like.

I don't think that's the problem.

I mean are we sold on the "Bananas Foster" title even?

We audience tested the "Bananas Foster," and people love the word banana.

Really?

Love it.

But what-they love the word banana?

That doesn't make sense to me.

Uh, well tell America they don't make sense.

Okay, but do you guys want to try one where Sara's where the Banana suit and I'm in the bikini?

[silently laughing]

[softly]... .no.

No, no.

[laughs]

All right.

Can we just get this over with then?

Yes.

Are you good?

'Cause I'm good.

I'm great.

Okay.

[director's voice] Play the music!

♪

The top?

The top.

This is not cool.

You know what?

Let's just get a little bit of just you.

Oh, now I have more room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let yourself go!

I like that so much better.

Yeah!

That's fun!

♪

Check this out, you know the director Kay Cannon?

Kay Cannon, from 30 Rock?

Kay Cannon, from 30 Rock.

Pitch Perfect?

Yes.

So she's doing a drama, and she loves you.

She wants to meet for coffee and hash out the details.

Come on.

I'm telling you like-

I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but you are 100% her first choice.

Oh, my God.

I know!

My manager, Utkarsh has been so supportive.

I wouldn't be where I am without the people supporting me.

I'm just-

You're welcome.

Professionally.

Oh.

I have my manager, I have my agent, I have my lawyer, I have my publicist, I have my assistant.

This is actually my real family.

Karsh...

Hey, I'm here for you.

You're my girl.

This movie was practically written for you.

Well, it was actually written for Jennifer Lawrence, but I read the script and I was like, 'Psh!

Eff that B, it's all Sara.'

Uh, hello?

What are you doing?

Hi.

Uh, I am walking home from Jensen's house.

Okay, I'll take you home, get in the car.

Okay.

Ahh!

I think I'm still drunk.

You look, insane.

[car door slams]

You know what's so great about sleeping at a guy's house?

Stealing his sweaters.

You have this like, look on your face... that I've never seen before.

What is it?

A smile?

Yeah.

[producer's voice] Erin has a boyfriend!!

[applause from crew]

Who knew that we'd be sitting here saying that me and Jensen are in a relationship.

I've dated a lot of very different people.

[producer's voice] That includes men and women, is that right Erin?

I was a lesbian for a minute.

But I will say, now, I'm all D.

You are oooone classy broad.

Not "all" D.

Just love his D.

What is he doing to make you like this?

Is he that great?

He's really great.

Have you taken a number two in front- have you taken a number one in front of him?

Ew!

Are you out of your mind?

Do you pee in front of him?

First of all, I've never taken a number two in my life.

As far as he knows, I don't have bodily functions on any level.

And quite frankly, neither does he, thank God.

'Cause I do not need that in my life.

[producer's voice] Erin, you've got a guy.

Sara, you've got a movie.

Things are going well.

You know, it's like the real thing.

In luurve.

Don't tell him I said that though.

But we are, basically together.

Nothing feels better then when you start to get momentum.

Like I'm two seconds away from being at the Oscars.

It feels so good, doesn't it?

No, I'm really happy!

I feel so hashtag, pound, blessed.

Look at you, you're getting all fancy...

Yep.

For a boy.

So is he like you're boyfriend?

I mean it feels like he is.

We're going out today, I think we're gonna... have the talk.

Okay... You seem really nervous.

I'm just super stressed about meeting Kay Cannon.

I'm finding out essentially at this lunch if I get the job or not.

Right.

Wait, did you say you're meeting Kay Cannon?

Yes.

I've met her before.

What?

Yeah, we were at like a dinner together.

She's a lesbian, right?

Wh-no, I don't know.

We talked a little bit.

Like enough for me to say...

I mean we met once-

Right.

It was like three years ago, I don't know if she remembers.

Right, 'cause normally when I go meet directors there's a thing, like there's that thing that connects us and with her there's nothing, so this is good.

Just be yourself.

Should we do like a practice?

Sure!

Just give me one second.

Okay.

[inhales deeply]

Okay.

But don't do that in front of her.

I'm not, I'm just-

Or anyone.

Hi, Sara, it's so nice to meet you!

It's so nice to meet you!

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Ugh!!!

Well, she's gonna ask you about yourself.

It's personal!

It's none of your <bleep> business.

The most casual thing you can say in a meeting is like give me an understanding, a little bit of who you are.

Okay, fine.

Next question.

Um... Why do you want to work on this movie?

Okay, you know what?

You're terrible at this.

This is not-

I'm trying to give you helpful advice!

No you're not!

You're-ask... like a normal question.

Okay, what's your favorite color?

[gasps]

Blue!

Yeah.

See you nailed that one.

Yeah.

Okay, that felt good.

All right, I'm gonna go.

Are you good?

You're good?

We're good?

Yeah, you're totally prepared.

Okay.

So what makes me so excited about the movie is that it's like a woman who's in a man's world and then wakes up one day and she's a woman in a woman's world and she fails at both.

[mouths silently] I love that.

You know?

I feel like I'm her right now.

Well, this is great.

I know.

This is-you're great!

I'm surprised at how great you are.

[laughing]

Really?

That's so funny, I hear that all the time.

Everybody in this town can audition.

I mean getting an audition is super easy, but meeting with a top director is just, it's like the stamp of approval.

It's like you have made it.

Do you make money going to meetings with directors?

Well, they pay.

They pick up the check.

You know, for the meeting, for the coffee or the scone, or the croissant.

Okay.

I'm so passionate about it, I just knew that you would pick me.

So-

Well, you know obviously I have to, you know, meet with other actresses.

The studio wants me to meet with other people.

I mean they're always like pushing Mandy Moore.

Urg.

Oh.

[laughs]

I think she's okay.

I will meet with her and I'll meet with all the hotties that are out right now.

I was under the impression that that I was-

I sort of thought that I had it, you know like a seal the deal lunch.

You're the front runner, I'll tell you this much-

Okay.

You're the front runner.

Well, I would love to um-

Here, I'm ready!

If we could just see each other-

Thank you.

One more time.

In fact, this is funny.

I forgot to mention this, I'm having a party.

Uh.

I'd love for you to come!

I don't know if you and I run in the same circles.

Oh, no!

For sure, you'll know people.

It's me and my sister, Erin who, she said that you guys have met.

Just doing a casual kind of, you know-

Wait, Erin, Erin Foster is your sister?

Yes!

Yes!

She actually said that she met you, do you remember her?

Hot Erin Foster?

Like smokin' like Blondie hot?

Like-

Yeah, yeah.

Is she still... you know.

Still dating ladies?

Uh... um...

Jensen, he's making you totally psycho.

Really?

You were the happiest when you were a lesbian!

♪

I gotta tell you, it was a real hit to the lesbian community to lose Erin Foster.

She never left.

She... she is still lesbian.

She is...

Yeah?

Is she single?

She's... single, yeah.

She's lookin' and ready.

All right, well.

So, are you in?

Um... you know what, I think I am in.

What's the address?

Ah!

It's so seldom in Hollywood when great opportunities present themselves so when they do you have to just like grab 'em by the horns.

And you are good at that.

If I could get paid to go to meetings, I'd be a billionaire, frankly.

This has been a really good week.

Absolutely, I've had so much fun with you.

I know.

I think we spent every night this week together.

I feel really connected with you.

Is it too early to say like I miss you?

Like I missed you.

You missed me?

I did, yeah.

And I think about you a lot.

Really?

Yeah.

Jensen.

I'm sort of jumping off the ledge here.

Okay.

[laughs]

Well I am like right there with you.

Because like the relationship talk like sucks you know?

It's like awkward, but I just I don't know I just feel like I want to put it out there that this is like a real thing you know?

Yeah, I know.

It's like really, like I mean...

Yeah, I mean like... the start of a relationship or whatever but... you know I got out of something big, which we've talked about before.

I think that maybe when we gave it a title, it may have messed with it a little.

And that's why I don't want to rush anything with a name.

Oh.

I'm just looking for something that's... chill.

Chill.

You know, I'm so glad you said that because I feel the exact same way.

Good!

Yeah.

I'm just not that girl that's like,

[mocking] 'What is this?' and like, 'I need like a thing.'

Or...

Well that's why I like you so much, it doesn't seem that way with you.

No.

Exactly.

I'm like... so chill.

I've held the cards this whole time and I kind of took it for granted.

'Cause I thought I could just do whatever I wanted and he would be there.

He had the balls to say he doesn't want to put a label on us.

He was like holding out on me, and which obviously makes me want to <bleep> marry him.

Anyway, I've been chill for an hour and it is exhausting.

Being chill is not chill.

What I'm feeling right now is that Jensen, he's making you totally psycho.

Really?

He's making you so crazy, like your energy now is just feeling, huuuuh!!!

Wait, I'm confused because you just earlier today were telling me how much you liked him and how happy I seemed.

Oh, I don't remember that.

I don't remember that.

Okay, well it happened pretty recently.

I may have said, but do you know when you were the happiest?

[sighs]

Ninth grade?

No!

You were the happiest when you were a lesbian!

Really?

'Cause I feel like that was a really confusing time.

My lesbian phase was like kinda short lived.

Sometimes you may go through a phase where you're a little confused and then you figure it out... make your decision, then you kinda go down that path.

[producer's voice] Just to clarify, Erin.

You're done dating women?

Yes.

Not what I heard.

Good one.

So what are you doing tomorrow night?

Nothing?

Not that I know of.

I was thinking of having a little cocktail thing.

That sounds fun.

Kay, the director from today.

She wants to come.

That'll be really good for you.

Yes!

I think this might really, you know, seal the deal.

I want to bring Jensen.

Okay, don't... okay... what are you-why are you texting...

I want him to come!

Okay- I know he has no plans tomorrow night, he says he wants to meet all of my friends and family so if he says no, he obviously doesn't want this relationship to move forward.

Okay, but you're gonna text him and then if he doesn't write back in the next, like minute, you just dump him.

[phone dings]

Oh, he just texted back.

Oh, he wants to come.

♪

Lookin' good.

You look amazing.

Did anyone tell you that today?

No.

Oh, my God.

That's a shame.

You look amazing.

Okay.

Better?

No, I'm so nervous.

Don't be nervous, we're gonna make her feel so comfyyyy.

Ooooh, you look really... . well, you look like me!

[laughs]

Thank you.

Hot.

Kinda like, remind him what he's missing if he decides not to commit to me.

I mean you've never looked better, you don't even look like yourself.

Uh, thanks.

I'm excited for Jensen to meet my family, I wish he wouldn't see you with the mullet and everything but I feel like, whatever.

Look, we are super excited to have Jensen here, but we're more excited to have Kay here.

If this night goes well, it's going to be like me, Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Jen Lawrence, okay?

So, let's just keep it together.

I feel pretty kept together, you feel like you're unraveling to me maybe like you're going through something.

I'm totally chill.

In this business, there's no better way to win somebody over then to throw an unbelievable party.

You just gotta go out of your way to make sure that the person you're there to impress is happy.

True that.

True that.

Just stick with me and follow my lead.

I wouldn't follow you into a dark basement.

A lot of people would like to be with me in a dark basement if you know what I mean.

Lots.

Oh, Jensen's here!

Hi.

Good to see you.

I like this sweater.

Thanks.

Good color.

I just got it today.

Hi!

Oh, Sara, Jensen.

How's it going?

How are ya?

Nice to see you again.

Last time she saw me I was pushing a car into a gas station.

Not my best night.

[laughs]

Not your best night.

Not your best night.

How cute is he?

It's so weird, I'm just looking at you and I'm like,

'Who do you remind me of?' and I just realized it's my accountant.

We have the same accountant and he looks nothing...

He's black.

Yeah, yeah, no but it's a very similar vibe.

That's weird.

Uhh-so anyways...

Well, whatever accountant's are smart!

Sorry!

I'm just-I'm on edge.

Sara's nervous-

A lot of pressure and stress, I get it.

Yeah she's trying to like impress this director...

Yeah- so she's really nervous.

No I get it.

She's-I know I'm so excited for you guys to finally meet in a real setting.

I'm happy to support you guys tonight.

[quietly] Yeah... this is just perfect.

It'll be fun.

Good!

We're all happy.

♪

Oh!

Okay.

Oh, hey!

How are you?

Hey, I'm good.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you so much for being here.

Do I look okay?

I tried something new and-

You look, beautiful.

Kinda putting it out...

What's going on here?

Oh, I just...

I really wanted to like..you know.

Look like a waiter?

Oh, no.

K.D. Lang was my inspiration.

Oh!

With the...

[laughing]

Oh, okay, yeah.

Oh, you remember Erin?

Yeah.

Everybody...

Oh, hi Kay.

This is Kay.

Hi, oh!

You know my name?

Yeah, no, we went to that dinner party together right?

Yes!

Oh my gosh, good memory.

Yeah, of course.

So nice to meet, see you.

Good to see you again.

I've met her, I've met her before.

[laughs]

Oh yeah, she remembers.

Ashley, Kay.

Jensen, Kay.

Hi, hi.

Nice to meet you.

Great to see you.

Good to see you too!

Happy to be here-

Oh, guys you should get a drink!

Uh, yeah.

I want one.

She's always thirsty.

Yeah.

Would you like to get a drink with me?

Sure, great.

Okay.

Anybody want anything?

Yeah, can you get me a Martini-

Ashley, get your own drink.

[laughs]

That was so weird.

Why would you bring Ashley Benson to this party?

Erin, if she gets this role, I will <bleep> k*ll you.

I don't think she's your competition, with all due respect, she's a solid 10 years younger than you.

Why would you bring Ashley Benson to this party?

She's my friend, why wouldn't I invite Ashley?

I don't care if she's your friend, she's my competition.

And now she's talking to Kay, Erin, if she gets this role, I will <bleep> k*ll you.

With all due respect, she's a solid 10 years younger than you.

First of all, she's not 10 years younger than me.

I was offered Spring Breakers, I passed.

I really can't picture you in that role.

Why?

I mean, like a couple reasons I can think of.

Uh... your age, um... your range.

Okay, you are not helping me with Kay.

Like, I don't think you understand, if she's not happy at this party, I don't get the job.

Why is that my job?

I don't understand.

It's your job because you're the only person she knows at the party.

I feel like you do not have my back tonight.

Okay, okay.

I will try harder.

Okay, will you do something for me?

If I get this role, I'll do anything.

You'll do anything, will you take your hair out of that mullet?

[clears throat]

Sara, I'm sorry.

I will go, I will be nice to Kay, I will make her comfortable.

I'm gonna do my best.

Thank you.

Okay.

Just as soon as she's done talking to Ashley,

'cause they look really comfortable.

Erin!

I'm just kidding, okay, okay.

I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

Relax.

Ahh!

[pats leather seat]

Hi.

Hi!!

Are you having fun?

Yes, now I am especially.

I'm sorry if I'm really distracted tonight.

I'm very like in my head and I'm a little like confused.

You know, Sara said it was complicated.

What you're going through right now.

It is.

It's such a girl thing.

I'm like so concerned with like how to label things right now and like where I fall.

You know, years ago when it was complicated for me and I was dating a bunch of dudes...

Yeah.

But not...

Guys are the worst!

Really, yeah.

It was terrible.

I hated it.

You know, then I sort of really figured out who I was and now I can say it out loud all the time.

Mm-hm.

I'm a lesbian!

Yeah...

I'm into ladies!

Yeah.

Yeah, I just like with Jensen and I, like why is it such a big deal to say you're in a relationship you know what I mean?

Like, call me your girlfriend or like <bleep> off.

Wait, what?

What?

I was talking about you being a lesbian.

Oh-

Sorry.

No.

I'm not confused about my sexuality at all.

So you're not gay?

No, I'm definitely not gay.

I mean I had like a blip a couple of years ago but-

Hi, guys!

Are you... ?

Wait, why would you think I'm a lesbian?

How's it going?

Right.

Hey, did you tell Kay that I was a lesbian?

Um... no.

Yes, you did.

What, no?

Yes, you did.

I don't think that's exactly what I said.

That's exactly what you said.

It came out of your mouth.

I might have alluded to it.

No, she said it, she said you were.

What were you thinking, Sara?

Jensen and I are like serious, he is my boyfriend.

And now you're like-

Boyfriend?

What?

I heard you say boyfriend, I just walked up the steps.

Oh.

Are you talking about me?

No?

[quietly] I feel like we can get past this.

I don't know if we can.

Why in the world did you tell me she was a lesbian?

[loudly] Lesbian?

She's a lesbian?

YES!

Oh, my God.

Well, I loved when you were a lesbian.

It was so much fun, I mean we danced all the time.

It was crazy.

But I'm not anymore, it was a big mistake.

Oh, it was a mistake?

No, it's not a mistake it's just for me it wasn't the right choice.

So now it's a choice?

[quietly] Oh, my God.

Where's the bathroom?

This, honestly is just a little too freaky for me.

I've given it way too many chances.

Oh, my God.

Jensen just left!

That's not my problem!

It's completely your problem!

You're a monster.

I'm leaving.

Good day to you.

Do you see what you did now!

Wait, wait, wait!

I feel like I can fix this.

I...

What the <bleep> are you doing?

♪

What the <bleep> are you doing?

I...

Get your hands off me.

[softly] Ok.

Now.

I j-I j... I j... Kay, I'll call you.

No.

Ugg.

Great party.

Thanks.

Feels like you didn't get the part.

Shut up.

I feel like Ashley got the part.

I hope so, she really liked me.

If you were my friend, you wouldn't take that role.

Well, it's a good thing I'm Erin's friend.

Oh, remember when you ruined the best relationship I've ever been in?

That was fun.

He was a really great guy.

Yeah.

You were talking a little too much to him.

You have somewhere to be?

You have been here a long time.

You invited me here.

That's true.

I'm the only friend that showed up.

Very good point.

In this town, you win some, you lose some.

You know, you can't make everyone happy.

And it feels like every time I get close to it, you take it away from me.

I only had the best intentions.

Being with a Foster is a lot.

Jensen's not up for the task.

All right, well you definitely pushed him to his limit to find out, you know?

I gotta be honest, I liked Jensen a lot and so when someone says they don't want to commit, you don't walk away, you say,

'Well, I'm gonna <bleep> show you you're wrong.'

Listen, I get it, guys can make you crazy.

I get it but this is all working out the way it's supposed to and I gotta be honest, I don't want to do that movie, let Ashley Benson do that movie.

I mean, she's gonna <bleep> it up.

The script was really bad-

It was terr...

I don't want to say that-

Terrible.

But it was a terrible script.

[producer's voice] We're at the end of the season, what are your thoughts on the show?

This has been such a wild ride.

Can you believe that we have been getting paid to wear amazing make-up.

Hang out with each other.

To get the best clothes, to hang out with celebs, to just drive around-

Prop guys are just outta here.

Yeah, I guess really-

[crew in background] We're ready to go!

Aren't we gonna have a wrap party and drink?

Draaank.

Draank!

Wake up.

Draank.

[laughs]

Don't go, I'm gonna miss you.

You're my favorite.

You guys should call each other.

Hang out.

That's my coffee-

Whoa!

Dude!

Chill on that.

I mean, Jesus.

Is there a fire?

Who do we need to talk to about keeping the clothes?

Yeah, I want this blouse, you guys.

Can I please have this blouse?

[silence except for props being picked up]

Guys?

Hello?

You know, we cut when I say cut.

Okay?

Hey.

I did not say cut.

Season 2?