01x03 - Episode 3

Episode transcripts for the TV show "8MMM Aboriginal Radio". Aired April 2015.
"8MMM" is set in a radio station in the middle of nowhere, whose indigenous crew air the day-to-day preoccupations of the Alice Springs area. The station is run by non-indigenous people (Whitefellas) who fall into one of three categories: Missionaries, Mercenaries or Misfits: the 3Ms.
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01x03 - Episode 3

Post by bunniefuu »

Lola, voiceover: Hey, you mob been see that big tourist expo in town?

Well, them tourists, whitefella mob and Chinamans, they dream all about coming for this desert for real Aboriginal culture.

From us mob, real blackfella.

And when they come, they get a cultural shock, true.

Kwenye, us mob life not romantic like tourist dreaming.

Aboriginal woman: OK, we'll go, we'll go, we'll go.

If I catch you down here again, you're not gonna get this back next time.

Thank you.

Our art, him welcome anywhere in this world, true.

But not us blackfella. Kwenye mob.

We not even welcome for our own country.

Excuse me. Wine? I gotta find wine.

Come on, mate. No humbug.

Excuse me. Got to find wine.

Officer?

I just want wine. Please.

Oi!

Come back here!

Hey!

I just want my mate, wine.

Just relax, mate.

Jampajinpa: Hey! Hey!

Let my people go!

Hey, let it go, mate.

Stick around. You might learn it something too.

♪ Aaaahhhhh ♪
♪ Look, I'm here ♪
♪ I'm from the bush ♪
♪ Don't be shy 'cause I'm black ♪
♪ Listen to me ♪
♪ Talking to you From the bush. ♪

Jessie: This is why, Mum.

This is why they can't stay, because nothing is sacred.

What you getting funny for?

You got spare battery.

Your cousin been only borrow 'em other one.

Cousins borrow things like shoes or jeans.

Not the battery straight out of your friggin' car.

Him only for a couple of days.

They been come to sell painting for tourist expo.

It's never for a couple of days, Mum.

They'll still be here at Christmas.

You have to tell them to go.

Where they gotta go?

I don't know. They can go hotel, caravan park, blackfella hostel.

You know, anywhere, like normal people.

We not normal people, we blackfella.

You want 'em to go, you tell 'em.

Everybody! Jessie gotta say something for you mob!

Help, help... (Shouts indistinctly)

Hey, Jessie, what are you doin'?

Jessie, what are you doing?

Break it up, break it up!

Leave your mother alone.

Hey! Jess, Jess.

Radio announcer: 8MMM FM.

Oh, going to a funeral? Who d*ed?

It's for the Expo gala dinner tomorrow night.

All this hoo-ha over a bunch of blacks dancing naked in the dust for 30,000 years.

I take it you don't want your ticket at the VIP table, then?

All the 8MMM staff are invited, but I'm sure I could scalp your ticket.

Right. Finally in with the big boys, eh?

This lot are cashed up and we're on the gravy train.

Don't call it that.

8MMM needs funding to promote Aboriginal culture, and the Expo has extremely deep pockets.

OK, there's a little bit of gravy.

I rented my flat out to the Expo staff. I'm making a k*lling.

So, where are you staying?

Ah, don't worry about that.

(Groans)

What? Wha...

(Sighs)

What? You thieving black bastards.

Hey, you mob know this my cup, eh?

Yeah.

Hmm.

OK, where the hell is it?

Where is what?

Oh, come on, the brand-new recording kit the Expo bought me.

Someone's taken it from my desk.

I don't know. We've got staff at Expo. Maybe one of them borrowed it?

I mean it, Jake. I'm sick of people borrowing our sh*t.

It's the same as stealing.

It's not stealing.

Things come back when you ask for them, usually.

It's just the way things work here. You know that.

No - when you need something, it's never here.

'Cause everyone's using it for personal stuff.

Hey, you gotta learn for sharing, blackfella way.

Yeah? Well, if someone took your biscuits, you'd change your tune.

Ah! You and Dave been gobble it all the biscuits?

Why you white people gotta gobble it everything?

Oi, never mind about your stupid biscuits.

I'm going Expo. You mob find me there.

My office is off limits to everyone, including you.

You spread the word.

Milly: That'll be $25, thanks.

Don't forget to smile.

Righto.

Make sure you do.

Hey, Jessie been let you use him camera?

Not really. We borrowed it.

It's not hers anyway. 8MMM got it with the Expo money.

Right. In front.

Hi. Eee...

Jampajinpa: Got no shame, got no shame, locking up the blackfellas but...

Don't worry, bloods. I got your back.

Yeah, yeah, ha, ha.

Got your backs!

Yeah, right.

(Siren blips) OFFICER FLOPS: Lola?

We've got that white Jampajinpa of yours. You want him back?

Yeah, give him for us, then.

Jampajinpa: These my bloods here, eh?

What you doing?

Out you get.

Nah, I'm stickin' with my peeps.

You don't belong with this lot.

They're trying to set me free. Don't let them!

Man: He don't go free, I will go free.

None of us go free! We're in this together.

Crew name, no shame. Get out.

Hey, what...

You better let me back in that paddy wagon, brus!

Breathe, Jampajinpa.

Be calm, be the tree.

You got no shame sweepin' us off the street.

It's our land. Lock me up. Come on.

I will shut this stall down if you continue to make a nuisance of yourself.

He's just expressing his deep pride in his Indigenous heritage.

Let my people go!

Milly: Ow!

Take off that 8MMM work shirt.

What, old girl? What you gonna do?

No shame making trouble for all your work mates.

Whatever. I'm trying to help people in here!

Take 'em off.

Koala: Everyone, let's hold hands.

Milly: Get it off him, Lola.

Get off me! Get off me! Arggh!

Jampajinpa: You mob are pox!

I'll show you. I'll show you who's a blackfella yet.

What? Hell, no Expo! We won't go!

(Milly chuckles)

Hey, you take it off, Jake, come on.

What possessed you to film this?

And then upload it on the internet for everyone to see?

Lola, on video: You take it off that 8MMM work shirt...

See? I been tell you he wear an Expo shirt.

If we lose that Expo partnership, we'll lose everything, you know that?

Yes. I'm aware of that, Dave.

Do you realise what this could cost 8MMM?

Yeah. Lucky I been take 'em that shirt off him, eh?

Milly: High five.

Lola!

Take that down now, Milly, or you can forget about going to the Expo afterparty.

(Sounds of scuffle on video)

Lola, on video: You got no shame making trouble for your work mate.

OK, look, I'll give you a drinks card for the VIP table.

Mmm...

Yes?

(Phone rings)

(Lola shouts on video)

OK, five, five. I'll give you five.

That should cover you and your friends, then it's all sorted out, alright?

But you need to take it down now.

Thank you.

Now. I mean now.

OK.

Jake: I mean it, Milly.

Taking it down.

Good.

(Low chatter)

Nga naaaayy, nga naaaaayy, nga naaaaayy, hu!

Nga naaaayy, nga naaaaayy, nga naaaaayy, hey!

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

Hey, come on, peeps, come on.

Stand up and be counted.

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

(Murmuring)

Hey, peeps. Peeps, come back!

Where are you going? Peeps!

A boomerang?

You're milking this black thing a bit too much, don't you think?

You gonna lock me up?

That mob are going into protective custody, somewhere safe.

You want them to be safe, don't you?

Just 'cause a brother be black don't mean he be stupid.

Only peeps hurt around this joint are my peeps.

I'm more your peeps than that lot you're hanging around with.

You're not black, you're white. See?

You right, po-po.

My skin might not be black... but my blood is.

Jampajinpa: Yeah, yeah.

Brother be black now.

Black as night. Whitefellas fright.

I'm looking for wine, Miss.

I just want wine.

Oh!

Jessie: I just went shopping.

Where's the freakin' food?

I don't know.

You know what? Don't worry about it. I'm just going to bed.

You and Thomas gotta sleep on couch.

Excuse me? (Chuckles)

I can't wait to hear this one, old girl. Why?

Your cousin Madeleine and husband and them two devil kid sleep in your bed.

Bullshit! They can have your bed.

I been already give my bed for your nephew and his little family.

And Aunty Ethole sleeping in Thomas' bed.

What? No, they all live in town.

What's wrong with their places?

They house full up too.

Everybody travel long way. Another mob hiding from police man.

Family gotta stay somewhere, eh?

Well, the Expo's only one week long, Mum.

What's their excuse for the rest of the year?

Oh, yeah!

Right.

Alright. I'm off.

Can you set the alarm on before...?

Why are you on a swag? You're not staying here, are you?

Mate, I can't stay at my place.

Rented it out, remember?

I don't think that's a good idea, Dave.

Mate, be for a couple of days.

No-one will even know I'm here.

OK, but nobody knows you're here.

Mm-mm-mm-mm.

Right. Do you want the door to your bedroom open or closed?

Leave it open.

Ventilation, I guess. OK, goodnight.

Night-night.
(Mobile phone rings)

Oh, hello.

A nibble.

G'day, mate, how are you?

What, you ringing to tell me my house is on fire?

Wayne, on phone: Dave, you old w*r horse.

I want you to come down to the club and have a pow-wow.

Yeah. What, now?

Yes, now, you stupid prick.

Hot chick here. I need you to entertain her friend.

Just get my things together.

See you in about 20 minutes.

Yeah, quick as you can.

Alright.

Well, well, well, well.

(Snoring)

(Coughing and snoring)

Make them go, Mum.

Tell them to piss off, mad one.

What's wrong with you, Thomas? That's our family.

Your things won't cry for you.

You sound just like your mother.

You take that back.

I'm no Joy!

Mad one.

(Door opens)

(Low mumbling)

(Clattering)

(Clattering and mumbling continue)

(Birds twitter)

Your man Dave mentioned you were a bleeding heart.

Your Aborigines are running rings around you.

What are you gonna do about it?

I don't own any Aboriginals, Wayne.

Yeah, but you do employ some, and they're not doing you, or me, any favours.

My colleagues didn't intend to...

Now, look, Jake, visitors to the Northern Territory want the Aboriginal experience without all the... emotion.

That's what they want. That's what I'm paying you handsomely to deliver.

I'll take care of it, Wayne.

That's the spirit.

Make some heads roll.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, I've got to find my missing artist.

Missing? Branson Herbert.

You know how this mob go walkabout?

I'll see you tonight, Hanson.

Yeah, looking forward to it, Wayne.

Take care.

Dave: Oh, yeah, baby.

(Snoring)

(Sniggering)

Eee, I didn't know Dave is man lover.

Oh, f*ck! Jesus!

Eww, that's totally gross.

Look, oh...

I didn't know old people could still do that.

Branson: What's going on here?

Thief. He's a thief.

Look. Look. Him, he's the thief!

Who are you people?

Hey, you can't tie 'em up people! That's wrong way!

Hey, theft, break and enter, sexual as*ault.

Sexual as*ault! That's wrong way.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do that, Dave.

Deprivation of liberty or something like that.

Great! Deprivation of liberty?

He's been helping himself to our stuff all frickin' morning.

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

You mad one.

I got nothing do for this kidnap!

Don't blame me. I'm just a receptionist.

Radio announcer: Aboriginal radio in Aboriginal country.

Ah, get in!

Jessie! Lucky I been find you.

You gotta hurry up. One bloke he been robber for us.

And he been eat it kitchen out and Dave been nearly r*pe 'im.

Hey? What!?

Dave is kidnap bloke now. He been tie 'em up.

What are you talking about?

Just hurry up!

Look. See? See?

What the hell is going on here?

Lola said you r*ped someone.

Hey, I never touched him.

Call the police. He needs to be arrested.

He needs a shower.

Hey, what are you doing?

Don't let him go!

Thank you.

Jesus Christ!

You alright?

You can find wine for me?

Oh-ho, right(!)

What I done to you?

Shower's this way.

You just let him go? Just like that?

Alright, the sun's only just up.

He's already on the hunt for grog. He's a menace.

Mmm.

What?

(Shower runs)

You'll wear a hole in that floor.

He's been in there a long time.

What's he doing in there?

How do you like me now?

(Laughter)

Orange must be the new frigging black, eh?

I don't get it. Who in their right mind chooses to be a blackfella?

Us blackfellas are born in the true image of God.

Ain't none of us choose that gift.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

That's why you pinkies be hating on us.

Gift, my arse - in this country, I can't think of anything worse than being treated like a blackfella.

Yeah?

Well, you ain't never been treated like a whitefella before, have you?

Nah! (Chuckles)

Has anyone told him he's orange?

You do it.

I made that painting for that poster. That's for my country.

Jessie: True? That's your artwork?

That's mine.

My car been get stolen, my wallet is lost.

Nobody know me in this place.

I come to 8MMM to camp 'cause can't camp outside.

Policeman is hunting everybody out there.

Can you help me?

Uh, hi, I'm Jake Hanson, the General Manager.

You are?

Branson.

Oh, well, nice to meet you, Branson.

Um, I've just got back from the Expo people.

Apparently our staff are out of control.

Oh, don't know what gave them that idea.

You can help me find wine.

Wine? Oh...

Hey, are you Branson Herbert, the Expo artist?

Yeah.

(Jake chuckles)

Yeah, yeah, I can help you find Wine. (Chuckles)

♪ ROCK MUSIC

Jampajinpa, on radio: Hell, no, Expo, we won't go.

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go.

Come on, peeps, don't be sheep, let's stick it to them Expo creeps.

The Expo rolls into town and every blackfella goes down.

Let's show our mate Wayne we ain't playing their game.

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go.

Caller: Hey, brus, stop your hollering and play some music.

What's up with you, Jaffa?

How come blackfellas don't stand up for themselves?

We're treated like sh*t, right, but how do you get mob to come and protest?

Duh. Free feed.

That's it!

How come I didn't think of that myself?

Yeah-ha-ha! Feed-feed-feed-feed.

I'll call you back.

Jampajinpa, on radio: Anyone in need of a free feed?

Expo mob are doing the deed.

Come on down to the Expo venue and tell them 8MMM sent you.

Jake: OK, everybody ready?

(Whistles) Look at you guys. You look amazing.

Thank you.

Hey, get the...

Where's Jampajinpa?

He said he'd meet us there.

OK, guys, remember, we're the Expo media partners so please be on your best behaviour. OK?

Milly: Alright.

Evenin', all. What?

You said 'Alice Springs formal'.

Nup. No.

Crowd: Hell, no, Expo, we won't go. Hell, no, Expo, we won't go.

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

What's going on?

DJ Jaffa-jinpa told everyone on air to come down for a free feed.

Crowd: Free feed, free feed...

Yeah!

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

The cops are on their way.

If you don't have an invitation, I suggest you head home.

Yeah, call the po-po. We don't care.

We're here for a feed like the rest of the mob.

(Crowd chants)

You, Hanson, what the hell is this?

Hey, Wayne, look who we found!

Wine, Wine... I been looking all over for you, Wine.

I been lose my ID, I been lose my car and my wallet.

No-one would help me. True.

But these 8MMM fellas, they help me.

Don't think finding my artist lets you off the hook.

Crowd: Free feed, free feed...

We want it now.

Hell, no, we won't go! We want feed!

I thought I told you to sack that fool.

You what?

Hold on.

You were going fire Jampajinpa?

Uh...

Hanson, this is not the voice the Expo is paying for. Sack him!

I don't think so.

8MMM is for Aboriginal people.

You not the boss. Jakey can't listen for you.

Jakey will do exactly what he's told.

He knows which side his bread is buttered.

Excuse me, but you can't exclude Aboriginal people from a celebration of Aboriginal culture.

That's just wrong.

You're fired too.

I'm a volunteer.

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

(Crowd cheers and chants)

Jakey? Money can't cry for you.

I have to go.

Jampajinpa...

Crowd: Hell, no, Expo, we won't go! Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

Uh...

Hanson! I own you.

You not owner for any people.

Arggh!

Hell, no, Expo, we won't go!

(Cheering)

(Crowd chants)

8MMM is finished!

All: Hell, no, Expo, we won't go! Hell, no, Expo, we won't...

You did the right thing, you know.

Did I?

8MMM was sorted, at least financially.

Now the Expo contract's gone, I just... I don't know.

I feel like a...

A dud?

A failure?

(Chuckles)

A real gammon bloke.

Ah, yeah.

A loser with a capital 'L'?

I was gonna say I feel like kicking Jampajinpa's arse, but yeah, all that.

Except I'm not that gammon, am I?

Um...

(Siren blips)

Jampajinpa: Jake and Jessie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Jessie: I reckon you should kick him in the balls. I mean nuts.

Nuts, I reckon... Oh.

Oh!

I reckon you need some training heels.

Nah, that's stupid.

(Both chuckle)

No, officer, sorry. I think you've got the wrong house.

We don't know that one, officer.

Oh, whatever!

Drop him off down there.

We don't know him.

Charlie, you can stay.

No, the orange one, I think he's...

(Indistinct chatter)

♪ COLOURED STONE: Dancing in the Moonlight ♪

Lola, voiceover: Anyway, like I've been telling you early part, tourist mob, they hungry for Aboriginal culture, true.

That Expo mob, they got no shame, true.

They rip us off.

But never mind, 'cause we're rich anyway.

Aboriginal culture, him been singing and dancing over 60,000 years while them other mob, them been turned to dust.

Think about it. This 8MMM FM.

Aboriginal radio in Aboriginal country.

Uh, so what happened to no borrowing 8MMM equipment for personal use?

Yeah, you know how it is.

Always comes back when you need it.

Yeah, right.

We're broke. We can't pay our bills.

We need to freeze wages.

What?!

Oh, you know, just taking it all in.

The captain, the rats, the sinking ship.

No. 8MMM's not going down on my watch.

Putting out an SOS to the peeps.

So, the training course is about giving you confidence in speaking to the media.

Like I needed flash whitefella getting me kicked out!

Lola.

I can do that myself!

(Tapping on microphone)

Lola, on radio: Hello? This thing on?
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