02x11 - You Can't Take It With You

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Devious Maids"...

What's that on your back seat?

Nothing.

Is that blood? Miss, you're gonna have to come with me.

Who did you k*ll, Nick?

I'm not a m*rder*r.

When you get home, I won't be there.

I know what you're doing.

If... if...

If you will just give me a chance to explain...

Give me my cane.

Mr. Kenneth?

Uncle Ken had a fall.

What?

She took my kid.

Drinking won't get him back.

I'll get my act together.

I promise.

[Moans]

I know you're sleeping with Tony.

Tony makes me happy.

Her husband has found out about the affair.

I just have to come up with a new plan.

When I knew him, his name wasn't Tony.

You must tell me more.

Your bodyguard's real name is Amir Hassan, but he's gone by half a dozen different aliases.

He is a con man with a record as long as your yacht.

Fraud, forgery, as*ault...

Who says there are no more renaissance men?

His usual racket is to target wealthy, middle-aged married women.

He lures them into an affair, and then blackmails them by threatening to tell their husbands.

Evelyn will be devastated when she finds out.

I can't wait to tell her.

Thanks again, Rick.

Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you.

Wait.

I already know they're involved.

Tony knows I know.

He does?

Yes.

So how can he possibly think he's going to blackmail her?

He must have thought of some other way to get money out of you.

But how?

Hello, you.

Good morning, Mrs. Powell.

Here's the schedule for today.

You and I are going to make love.

I will orgasm two times.

Then you will drive me to the sale at Gucci, where I will orgasm twice more.

I'm not really in the mood.

[Laughs] Since when?

Mrs. Powell, please...

Why do you keep calling me Mrs. Powell?

I-I'm not trying to upset you.

Well, then I think you should be a good employee and get naked.

All right.

I really can't afford to lose this job.

Well, you won't.

Not if you keep kissing me like that...

[Moaning]

Hey, you.

Good morning, Javi.

Did you have a good time last night?

Am I making you a frittata?

[Chuckles]

You must have had a very good time.

I did, indeed.

[Doorbell rings]

[Sighs]

Yes?

I'm Pablo.

Zoila's Pablo.

Her ex-husband?

Her current husband, but thanks for asking.

Is she here?

She's making breakfast.

[Sniffs] That smells good.

If you invite him to eat with us, I'll k*ll you.

We have to talk.

No, we don't.

We really, really do.

Could you leave us alone?

Okay.

Stay right there.

Okay.

Zoila, please.

This is important.

If it's so important, why didn't you call me?

I did call you...

10 times last night.

Where were you?

Well, first, we were in the shower...

Not now, Javi.

Zoila, grab your purse.

You got to go with me.

Listen to me, menso.

You left after 20 years of marriage, destroying my self-confidence and my self-esteem.

The one thing in this world I am sure of is that I don't have to go with you anywhere ever again.

Valentina's in jail.

The police found blood in her car, and she won't say where it came from.

I have to go.

[Marisol gasps]

It's gorgeous.

It is.

Reggie is a very generous boyfriend.

Not really.

We've been dating for months, but we haven't... you know.

He thinks the necklace will get me in the mood.

This is a four-carat diamond.

He's got me in the mood.

Well, I will not sleep with him.

He's a worm.

A worm that paid for a platinum setting.

Carmen!

Okay, I'll shut up if I get to wear it.

So, why do you think Reggie is a worm?

He got Mr. Kenneth to kick his daughter out of the house, and then his wife.

And now Mr. Kenneth is in the hospital because of a "mysterious" fall.

Why would Reggie want to hurt his Uncle?

He's embezzling Mr. Kenneth's money.

And with everybody gone, he can get away with it.

Maybe you should call the police.

I will once I have proof.

How are you going to get that?

I'll go through Reggie's papers.

If I can find copies of his bank statements or wire transfers...

Well, just don't let him know that you're on to him.

He doesn't think I'm smart enough to figure this out.

He just sees me as some dumb immigrant.

Then he is in for a rude awakening.

Well, I should get going.

I'll call you girls in a few days.

Wait. Carmen?

The necklace?

Oh. Did I forget to take this off?

Hmm.

I'm sorry.

[Chuckles]

Thanks for coming, man.

I had to cut class for this.

What the hell is going on?

I need to borrow some money.

Dude...

I got to get out of town for a while.

Can you help me out or what?

[Sighs]

I mean, I only got a couple bucks.

What's going on?

[Sighs]

I think we're about to be caught.

Did you tell someone?

Valentina.

How could you do that?!

I got stabbed, and she's not stupid!

This is bad.

I mean, if she tells someone...

I don't think she will.

But I'm getting out just in case.

You might want to do the same.

Remi!

Where is she?

She's in some room being questioned.

They won't let me see her.

Oh, my God.

She didn't want me to call you guys, but I didn't know what else to do.

Well, you did the right thing.

I don't understand.

Do you know what happened?

[Sighs]

You'll have to ask her.

Mami!

Mija!

What's going on?

They said they found blood in your car.

I know it looks bad, but I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.

We're willing to believe her if she tells us whose blood it is and how it got there.

So tell them.

I can't.

Valentina Josefina Diaz, you tell these people what they want to know now.

Can't we talk about it at home?

First she has to answer our questions.

Wait a minute. Has she been placed under arrest?

Not yet.

Then that means you can't hold her.

Am I right?

It would be in her best interest to assist with this investigation.

Yeah, well, I'm her father, and I think it's in her best interest that she go home.

Sir, please...

You heard the man.

We're leaving.

[Sighs]

Rosie?

[Footsteps approach]

Hey.

I've got good news.

Really?

I've received all the affidavits the immigration judge asked for.

You and Miguel are literally days away from getting resident status.

[Chuckles]

Isn't that great?

Yes. It is.

Thank you so much for all your hard work.

It's my pleasure.

What is this?

Where did you get that?

I found it on the floor.

Oh.

That's a brochure for maple park.

Best assisted-living center in the country.

They have pools, uh, tennis courts, the works.

Why would you have this?

Well, after his fall, Uncle Ken will need more help than we can provide.

And maple park has 24-hour medical care.

But this is in Sacramento.

How could we visit him?

I'm sure we'd find a way.

Look, the paperwork has been signed.

There's no point in arguing about it.

So, when are you sending him there?

Two weeks.

No!

Why are you getting so upset?

My Uncle's going to be well cared for.

You're gonna get a green card.

Come on, Rosie.

It's a happy ending for everyone.

Son of a bitch!

What's wrong?

Those idiotic writers... they've put my character in a coma.

Dr. Lance is in a coma?

Nurse Jenny's gonna be so upset.

You know why they did it?

So they can give more screen time to that punk playing Dr. Blake.

Oh, he's so dreamy.

For a punk.

I can't believe this!

Look on the bright side.

They're paying you to sleep in bed all day.

I wouldn't mind that.

Hint hint.

No, it's humiliating.

Being hooked up to an I.V.

While Mr. "I went to Juilliard" is making out with my love interest?

What are you looking for?

Some scotch.

I threw all the liquor away because you stopped drinking.

Remember?

I just need something to calm my nerves.

Here we go.

You're hiding booze?

It's for emergencies, and that script is an emergency.

Needing alcohol to cope is the emergency.

You're my maid, Carmen.

Not my mom.

So, if you don't mind...

I appreciate you meeting with me, Mrs. Parker.

It's my pleasure.

Mr. dresden tells me that we have a "friend" in common.

What's he calling himself these days?

Tony Bishara.

He presented himself as a bodyguard.

He told me he was a chef.

Tony knows how to cook?

Not really.

But he was attentive and caring and looked at me with desire in his eyes, something my husband hadn't done for years.

And with that body of his, he could have served me Chinese takeout and I wouldn't have cared.

So you began an affair.

I'm not a stupid woman, Mr. Powell.

But he knew all the right buttons to push.

That is his talent.

That's why I hate him.

Mr. Hassan ended up soaking Mrs. Parker for $80,000.

It would have been more, but my husband unexpectedly d*ed.

Without that leverage...

I'm so sorry.

If I may ask...

Are you going to tell your wife what you've learned?

How can I not?

I suppose you have no choice.

But I implore you to proceed carefully.

Women need to feel beautiful and loved, especially those of a certain age.

And when we discover that we've been fools...

It can break us in ways men can't imagine.

[Doorbell rings]

[Door closes]

How can I help you, detectives?

We're trying to build a time line for the night of your husband's accident.

Do you know when he left the house to go for his run?

I was in bed reading, and I fell asleep.

Can't Nick tell you?

He doesn't remember much, which isn't surprising.

I wish I could be more helpful.

This is a big property.

Do you have security cameras?

We do.

That's the end of the driveway, by the front gate.

9:05 P.M.

Thank you, Mrs. Deering.

Please don't hesitate to call if you have any other questions.

I have one.

Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt your husband?

What?

Well, typically, drivers brake before the moment of impact.

But there were no skid marks on the bridge, which means the car never slowed down.

Indicating this hit-and-run was deliberate.

Oh, my God.

Well, at this point, it's just a theory.

Thank you for your time.

Tony!

I was just about to pour myself a Brandy.

Join me?

That's quite all right.

I'm sharing my wife with you.

The least you could do is share a drink with me.

Here you go, Tony.

Or do you prefer "Paolo"?

Or "Maximillian"?

You have quite the assortment of aliases.

"Gunther" surprised me.

I would've thought you'd be too swarthy to pull off germanic.

Good for you.

I... Don't know what to say.

Well, for starters, why don't you tell me what your "plan b" is.

My plan "b"?

Historically, you like to blackmail your victims, threatening to expose their tawdry affairs, but clearly, that won't work with Evelyn and I.

So I'm just dying to know...

What is your next move?

I intend to file a lawsuit.

Excellent.

What kind of lawsuit?

For harassment.

Your wife forced me to perform sexual acts and threatened to fire me if I failed to comply.

I have a recording.

Oh.

Is that what I found in your clock?

Oops.

You son of a bitch.

That is a hell of a thing to call the man who's about to give you $100,000.

What?

That's what you want, isn't it?

My money?

Why would you just give me $100,000?

Because I love my wife.

And I'd like to spare her the embarrassment of finding out that you used her.

Is this some sort of trick?

Not at all.

Now, which phony name shall I make out the check to?

If it's Mustafa, you'll have to help me with the spelling.

Make it out to cash.

I think I can handle that.

But there's one condition you'll need to agree to.

Your mom and I have been talking.

We think you're protecting that boy you've been dating.

Are we right?

Is that Ethan's blood in the car?

Yes.

Why was he bleeding?

He got stabbed.

And how did he get stabbed?

Mija, please...

[Voice breaking]

He's part of that g*ng that's been robbing houses in Beverly Hills.

The one that k*lled Alejandro Rubio?

That was an accident.

Oh, my God.

How long have you known about this?

I just found out.

We call the police now.

No!

I can't turn Ethan in!

A man d*ed!

You can go to prison for not telling!

He's important to me!

I'm not gonna ruin his life!

Mija.

[Sniffles]

Listen to me.

[Sighs]

When I was 17, a couple of friends convinced me to help them steal a car.

Pablo...

It's okay.

We thought we got away with it...

Right up until we saw the police lights coming up behind us.

What happened?

I spent 14 months in jail.

Is he serious?

Your father never wanted you to know.

He thought you would be ashamed of him.

I hooked up with the wrong crowd.

And it cost me a year of my life.

I'm begging you...

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

Mrs. Powell, I'm afraid I have some troubling news.

Don't tell me you're too tired for our afternoon romp.

Actually, I've been offered a unique business opportunity, which means that I'll be leaving.

Tony!

If money is the issue...

It's more than that.

It's become increasingly difficult for me to work here.

Why?

You're an extraordinary woman.

Mysterious, smart, beautiful...

Ohh.

Keep going.

The point is, I can't continue to work here knowing you'll never be mine.

It's pure t*rture.

I had no idea you felt this way.

Why didn't you ever say anything?

Because I knew it was pointless falling in love with you.

You'd never leave your husband.

That's quite an assumption.

It's true.

You love him so very much, almost as much as he loves and needs you.

So...

When are you leaving?

Now.

I have to go to the bank and deposit some money, and then I'll be off to the airport.

But it's not fair.

Can't we have one last glorious tryst?

There isn't time.

Well, one last kiss, then.

For old times' sake.

[Moans]

I really must go.

Goodbye, Tony Bishara.

Thank you for loving me.

[Sighs]

[Telephone rings]

Westmore residence.

Oh, sorry.

He's at work today.

He never showed up?

That doesn't make any sense.

[Spence groans]

Hold on.

Psst!

Spence! Spence!

It's 8:30.

You were supposed to be at the studio half an hour ago!

You should really work on that accent.

I have no idea what you're saying.

Hi.

Yeah, just give him 15 more minutes.

You know, he's having problems with his car, but I'm sure he's gonna be there very soon.

Okay. Thanks.

Come on. Get up.

[Sighs]

Let's go!

Let's do this.

Come on.

Okay.

[Grunts]

Aah.

Let's go!

Where the hell is Westmore?!

If we don't start sh**ting in 10 minutes, we're not gonna make our day.

Carmen: He's here!

Everybody calm down.

He's here.

Finally.

Wardrobe, let's get him ready.

[Mumbles]

Hi.

What's going on here?

Since he found out that he was gonna be in a coma, he refuses to get out of character.

What a pro, huh?

Huh. Right.

All right.

Move like you got purpose, people!

Come on!

You're doing good.

Get into bed.

Come on.

Ready to do this?

Let's go.

Can you help him?

No, no, no, no!

Face up, amigo!

[Grunts] Let's go.

Come on.

Are we ready?

All right.

Slate's good.

Everybody to one.

Camera one, just in a touch. And set.

And... action!

What's wrong, Jenny?

I keep thinking about last night.

What I let you do to me...

I won't apologize for kissing you.

But Lance is in a coma.

When he wakes up...

We'll have some explaining to do.

But until then...

I need to love you.

[Moans]

[Spence snoring]

Damn it! Cut!

Cut!

Somebody get him some coffee, please.

Wake up!

[Snoring continues]

Mr. Kenneth?

I need to talk to you about your nephew.

Did you know he's planning to put you in a nursing home?

Mr. Kenneth, did you hear me?

We have to stop him.

What's the point?

What?

I spent my life trying to control everybody.

Now the people I love most...

Didi, Lucinda... they hate me.

Mr. Kenneth, you have to be strong now.

We have to get you out of here before Reggie sends you away.

Whatever's about to happen to me, I got it coming.

Excuse me.

This man isn't supposed to have visitors.

I was just leaving anyway.

Don't give up, Mr. Kenneth.

We'll think of something.

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

This is Nate from Doheny Medical Center.

You told me to call if anyone came to see your Uncle.

Sounds like that was money well spent.

Yeah, well, this pretty little Mexican chick was just here.

Didn't really catch her name.

That's okay.

I know who you mean.

[Knock on door]

Script delivery.

Thank you.

I'll take it.

And please tell Mr. Westmore I'm really sorry.

He was always really nice to me.

Uh-oh.

Who's that?

So, they just delivered your script.

[Grunts]

I think you should read it.

Why?

I'm in a coma.

It's not like I have any lines to memorize.

Well, it looks like the writers changed your story line.

Really?

Am I waking up?

Not so much.

They're k*lling me off?

I'm sorry.

20 years I'm on this show.

They can't tell me in person?

Well, on the bright side, now you have time to visit Tucker in Europe.

How am I gonna pay for that?

I don't have a job.

I'm sure you have savings.

The divorce cleaned me out.

I can't even afford you.

That's not good.

Where are my keys?

Why?

The producer lives a mile from here.

I am gonna go tell him off.

You've been drinking.

I'm fine!

Where are my keys?

[Keys jingle]

Carmen, give me those.

Let me drive you.

No, I'll drive myself.

Not until you're sober.

[Grunts] Aah!

[Panting]

Give me those keys!

This is for your own good!

[Door closes]

Open this door!

I want those keys!

Do you hear me?!

Do you?!

Do you hear me?!

[Pounding on door]

Hey, Rosie.

Oh, hi.

I'm sorry I'm late.

The store was so busy today.

Don't lie to me.

I know you went the hospital.

Only 'cause I was worried about Mr. Kenneth.

Well, I'm glad you got a chance to say goodbye.

Why are you smiling?

The doctors said he's well enough to travel.

I'm sending him to maple park on Monday.

Monday?!

You can't.

Why not?

Because...

If you do, I'll go to the police and I'll tell them what you're up to.

And just what am I up to?

Mr. Kenneth was getting stronger.

He wanted to take back control of his business, so you made him fall to get rid of him, just like you got rid of Mrs. Didi and miss Lucinda.

Now, why would I do that?

To get Mr. Kenneth's money.

I know what it means to have someone's power of attorney.

I'm not stupid.

So, how long have you known?

Long enough.

You're not the only one who can lie to people's faces.

You shouldn't screw with me.

Not when I have your future in my hand.

Go ahead. Fire me.

I'll be thrilled not to be working for you anymore.

Or kiss you.

I'm not talking about f*ring you.

There's an immigration hearing next week.

It could go well for you and your son...

Or not so well.

You're threatening to send us back to Mexico?

Picked up on that, did you?

I guess you're not that stupid.

[Footsteps approach]

Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt your husband?

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Opal.

Marisol.

What a...

Pleasant surprise.

Sorry to bother you.

But the police dropped by.

They wanted to know what time Nicholas left the house the night of the accident.

So I showed them the security footage.

You did?

Relax.

I didn't show them the part where you drove off a few minutes later.

I can explain.

Of course.

Why don't you come to the house, and you can tell me everything?

Then I don't have to get the police involved.

I'll be right over.

[Sighs]

About what happened earlier...

You scared the hell out of me.

I know. I know.

I was out of control.

I'm so sorry.

I promise it will never happen again.

I know it won't...

Because you're going to rehab.

Ah.

That's not necessary.

I can control my drinking.

I don't think you can.

[Doorbell rings]

Don't get that.

I don't want to talk to anyone right now.

Spence, you'll want to see this person.

Who is it?

Someone you'll listen to.

Hey.

I heard you haven't been feeling well.

Yeah.

I've had a-a rough couple of weeks.

Carmen says you've been drinking too much.

Oh, I don't know what she told you, but I can get myself together.

I-I don't need to go to rehab.

When she became your maid, I asked her to look after you.

And if Carmen thinks you need help, then...

I think so, too.

This is so embarrassing.

Why? Because two people care about you?

I never wanted you to see me like this.

All I see when I look at you is a wonderful man.

So you don't hate me?

Of course not.

Go to rehab.

When you get back...

I will be here waiting for you.

[Tango music playing]

What is that?

I stumbled across some of our old records.

I thought I'd give them a spin.

Digitally speaking.

I haven't heard that tango in ages.

We danced to it on our honeymoon.

Did we?

I can't remember that far back.

Luckily for you...

I can.

[Music swells]

Are you serious?

Tony's gone.

No one will walk in on us.

Wouldn't it be easier to attempt a waltz?

Oh, we could, but let's face it...

You and I were meant to tango.

[Music continues]

Would you like to sit?

No.

Suit yourself.

You certainly seem upbeat.

I'm an upbeat person.

Or at least I was before I moved into this house, where I was made to feel insecure, distrustful, paranoid.

But that's about to change.

And why is that?

Because you're going to answer some questions for me.

Starting with...

Who did Nick k*ll?

That's how you were blackmailing him, wasn't it?

You had some sort of evidence, some proof you were holding on to?

We had such a nice life.

Ethan and I.

We lived in this home like it was ours.

Like we mattered.

That was the deal I had with Nicholas.

And then you showed up and ruined it all.

You have two seconds to tell me what I need to know or I am driving that security footage right over to the police.

You keep taking everything I have.

It's not fair.

Please don't do this.

What other choice do I have?

No!

Mom!

What are you doing?

Hi.

Do you have a couple minutes?

Of course. Come on in.

I just wanted you to know I've decided to tell the police about Ethan.

Oh, well, you're doing the right thing.

And I'm not going to tell them you stitched him up.

I don't care about that, Val.

All that matters to me is that you're okay.

Can I ask you something?

Why didn't you turn Ethan in?

I know you don't like him.

I told you I wouldn't.

And I don't break my promises to you.

Thank you.

Look, uh...

I know that you're kind of going through a lot right now, and the timing really couldn't be worse, but when you're ready, I think...

[Chuckles]

So, does this mean we're...

Shh.

Don't ruin it.

Okay.

Thank you.

What did the lawyer say?

He wants to meet with us right before Valentina talks to the cops.

I'll meet you at his office.

Great.

So, I should probably take off.

It's getting past my dinnertime.

Can I make you something?

[Laughs]

Well, I did see some chicken in the fridge.

I'd love some arroz con pollo.

You got it.

Of course, I might need some help to get this going.

If you could grab me the...

Oh. Thanks.

Sure.

You know...

Helen...

She's not much of a cook.

Aww.

That's too bad.

Javier's a chef.

[Laughs] And handsome, too.

You should have traded me in years ago.

Oh, sh**t, I have chicken hands.

Could you hand me the...

Thank you.

Again.

So, Javier's a good guy?

He's great.

I mean, it's only been a month, but so far...

How's Helen?

Terrific.

She never laughs at my jokes, though.

Mm.

I don't think she gets my sense of humor.

Papi, we were married for 20 years.

Believe me when I say...

You're not funny.

[Laughs]

Hey, you just called me "papi."

Old habits.

Still...

[Sighs]

You know, I've been carrying a lot of anger, Pablo.

I know.

But today, I was thanking God for you.

Really?

I know it was hard for you to tell Valentina you went to jail.

But I'm so glad you did.

That's what turned her around.

Well, you softened her up for me.

We always did make a great team.

We did.

Have you lost your mind?

She knows I ran over Nick.

And your solution is to sh**t her?

Mom.

Aah!

[Grunts]

I apologize for my mom's insanity.

You okay?

Yeah.

Marisol, there's a book on that shelf over there...

A big red one.

Could you bring that to me?

Uh... sure.

She's gonna call the police.

You think?

Ethan, please...

I don't have time for your B.S. right now!

Just sit down and shut up, okay?!

Uh, is this the one you want?

Yeah. Thanks.

Nick keeps money in here for emergencies.

He didn't think I knew about it, but...

Oh, well.

You're taking Nick's money?

I got myself into some trouble.

I need to disappear for a while.

What kind of trouble?

Ethan, before you go, I need to ask you something.

Make it quick.

Why...

Why did Nicholas let your mother live here all these years?

Did she have something on him?

I'm not sure what it was, but yeah.

She had something.

Of course, mom couldn't really tell anyone because Nick saw her push Dahlia off the bridge.

We both did.

Why did you have to tell her that?

Seeing as I just saved your life, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the police that I was here.

Ethan, what did you do?

You'll find out soon enough.

Ethan!

[Sighs]

I'm so sorry.

For everything.

I wish I cared.

[Door opens]

I'm going to call the police now.

After I'm done, would you like to call a lawyer?

Hi, I'd like to speak with detective Figueroa.

It's Marisol Deering.

I-I'm calling in regards to a hit-and-run.

Yes.

I'll hold.

Opal, no!

[g*nsh*t]