01x05 - Decisions, Decisions

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "mistresses"...

Thomas said that's why you gave him the prescription...

For when things got too painful.

How would you describe the mental state of your patient in the weeks leading up to his death?

You think that I let Sally walk all over me, and you know what? You're right.

You're a good friend, Joss.

Six months ago, I lost my job, but this isn't about me anymore.

It's about Scottie.

He needs your help.

There's a recently developed paternity test that only requires a D.N.A. sample from the mother and potential father.

("Elle King's "Playing for keeps" playing)

♪ you prayed to have your name scattered on the lips of the young ♪
♪ now you claim that it's you on the tips of the tongue ♪
♪ and if you're proud of what you had to k*ll to get your thrill ♪
♪ well, I bet it stings to give up everything ♪
♪ and realize that they don't want you ♪
♪ it's a lonely road where the forgotten go ♪
♪ where your misery finds it company ♪
♪ it's a long way down to the sacred ground ♪
♪ where the reapers play for keeps. ♪

Bye, mom.

Bye, sweetie.

♪ the hollow sound is ringing where your heart used to be ♪
♪ have you found that your admiration will never set you free ♪

(sighs)

(Sighs)

I had that horrible dream again.

I was trapped inside a giant mummy's foot with Madonna, and she wouldn't stop singing.

I hate that dream, on many levels.

Well, I reached over to find you, but you weren't there.

Oh. I'm sorry, babe.

Just been up since 5:00 trying to get through this work.

Mm.

And now I'm running late, so...

Uh-huh.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Whoa. Whoa. Come here.

Hmm?

Your breath.

Oh, no. Is it bad?

No. No. No. It's just... it's... it's different.

My breath is different?

Yeah. It's weird.

You been chewing on pennies or something?

What?

Yeah.

Okay, now you are freaking me out.

No. Come on. Kiss me again.

Oh.

Just once.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Love you.

(Chuckles)

(Knock on door)

Hello!

I know I'm late but...

Oh! Ooh! I'm sorry. I'll wait outside.

Oh, Alex, don't be silly.

He's out cold. See?

That's impressive.

Mm-hmm.

Well, it looks like you guys had a lot of fun last night.

Yeah, as much fun as you can have with someone that only watches cartoons.

When they're that pretty, generally, they're not that interesting.

Doesn't bother you?

Mm. It's a trade-off. So how are you?

You know, I'm okay.

Are you still breaking up with Sally?

Because it's been, like, a week.

Well, we were together for five years.

I mean, you know, there's a lot of history.

Yeah, but how many times can you have the same conversation over and over and over again?

It's never exactly the same.

Oh, but it doesn't matter anyways.

Sally and I are officially, officially over as of last night.

Oh, sweetheart.

I'm sorry. Now I feel like a jerk. Are you okay?

Yeah. No, I'm fine.

It's hard, you know, but I know it was the right thing to do.

I'm moving out tomorrow.

(Gasps) You found a place already?

Mm-hmm. It's not great. I really can't afford much, but it's close to the yoga studio, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me move my stuff.

Of course.

(Chuckles)

And, you know, if you're too sad to hike, I totally understand.

Not so fast, lazybones.

(Flaps lips) Mm.

Ugh. I hate when you're silent. Whenever you're silent, it means I have less money than I thought.

You have less money than you thought.

W... how can that be?

What happened to the $500,000 from Paul's life insurance?

Well, a big chunk went to cover the debts you accrued over the last three years.

You sunk a large sum into the shop.

To build a business so that I could settle those debts.

I mean, not to mention make a life for myself... on your advice, I might add.

You're my most responsible client, April.

You've done all the right things, but we knew it would be tight until the store really took off.

So why do you need this money anyway?

There's this friend who's going through some tough times.

She asked for a loan. I want to help.

Well, you could pull money out of Lucy's college fund, but there are penalties.

Absolutely not. I'm not touching Lucy's money.

We'll just have to find it somewhere else.

How good a friend are we talking about here?

It's not so much for the friend.

I... oh.

She has a kid, okay?

An innocent kid. He's only 3, and she can't afford a decent school for him or health insurance.

(Cell phone rings)

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yes, this is Lucy's mom.

Is everything okay?

I'm coming right now.

What is it? What's wrong?

Uh, Lucy didn't show up for school today.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have to go.

(Lila) Oh, she's here.

It's about time. I've been waiting for about eight minutes.

Why? What's been going on?

You've been asked to be the keynote speaker at the N.A.F.P.A. center for mental health symposium.

"To honor your work in extending mental health and developmental services to the diverse communities of Los Angeles.

Other participants include Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton"...

(Gasps) Oh, my God. Hillary Clinton?

Mm-hmm.

I know!

I can't believe...

Are you sure this was meant for me?

As much as I'd love to take credit, I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who "launched the first program for Korean immigrants, which was used as a"...

"As a model for similar initiatives in non-English-speaking communities in Southern California."

Well, when you say it like that, it does sound pretty impressive.

Congratulations, Dr. Kim.

It is an incredible honor, and richly deserved, I might add.

Nice try, Lila, but I'm gonna be her plus-one.

Major crush on Hillary.

Don't ask.

Everyone has their cross to bear.

Am I interrupting something?

Mr. Newsome, what are...

I wasn't expecting you.

I know. Do you have a minute?

Is he a patient?

Nope.

(Elevator bell dings)

(Cell phone rings)

(Dominic) So the guy actually writes this.

(Woman laughs)

No, he writes this. He puts it in writing.

Who does that?

(Laughs)

(Dominic speaks indistinctly)

(Cell phone rings)

Hello?

I think I figured out your weird breath.

Okay. You need a hobby.

Get your ass to the gym.

I'm on my way, actually.

But listen to this... according to this web site, metallic breath is one of the potential signs of pregnancy, along with, um, fatigue, headaches, and waking up your husband four times a night to pee.

Oy. You still there?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm... I'm here.

What do you think?

Well...

I mean, I... I guess it's definitely a possibility.

Well, given our recent conversations, I know it might not be exactly what you want to hear, but...

It's not that, sweetie.

I... I just didn't want you to get your hopes up all over again.

Babe, my only hope is for us to be happy, healthy, and in love forever.

Me, too.

I just... I had to tell you.

I mean, what if, right?

(Inhales deeply) Wild.

Anyway, we'll talk more later.

Okay?

You ever considered putting any chairs in front of your desk?

It might help these conversations.

I'm expecting a patient any minute, Mr. Newsome.

Why are you here?

There's been a new development in the Thomas Grey investigation.

What kind of development?

Well, I can't share specifics, but I'm gonna need your notes in the months leading up to Thomas Grey's death to help clarify his state of mind before he d*ed.

I already told you his state of mind the last time you were here.

What can I say? They'd prefer it in writing.

Well, I'm not comfortable with that.

Why not?

Doctor/patient confidentiality, for one thing.

I don't want to sound disrespectful, but the man's dead.

I really don't see him having a problem.

It's a problem because I respect the privacy of my patients and the sanctity of the work I do with them.

Listen, I'm not interested in anything that doesn't pertain to this case.

I don't care about the man's dirty little secrets.

We're done here.

Look, you want me to respect your job.

This is my job. If you don't want to cooperate, I have to come back with a subpoena.

I doubt the police would get involved with a life insurance claim.

That's true, but the new evidence that we've discovered may turn this into a criminal investigation.

Do you still want to hold on to those notes?

I think I'm gonna have to.

(Sighs)

Naked guy is gone.

And he made the bed. How sweet.

No note. Thank God.

Okay. Mm.

I am gonna hop in the shower.

You pick a place for brunch.

Okay.

(Poliça) * in these little moments *

♪ get your cards out ♪
♪ I am waiting ♪
♪ in these little moments ♪
♪ lay your cards out ♪
♪ I am waiting ♪

Do you mind if I join you?

♪ ... Summer wading in sunder ♪
♪ girl, get your head right ♪
♪ by the waterside ♪
♪ summer wading ♪
♪ get your head right ♪
♪ in these little moments ♪
♪ lay your cards out ♪
♪ I am waiting ♪
♪ in these little moments ♪
♪ get your cards out ♪
♪ I am waiting ♪
♪ by the waterside ♪
♪ summer wading in sunder ♪
♪ girl, get your head right ♪
♪ by the waterside ♪

(school bell rings)

Great. Thank you.

Oh. Uh, Principal Anders called me.

My... my... my daughter's Lucy.

Oh. Hi. Yes. I just saw her.

Please have a seat. She'll be with you...

Are you saying she's here?

I... well, do you know if she's here or don't you?

Principal Anders will be with you in a moment.

She has the information.

Well, I thought this was the information desk.

What do you have?

Oh, good. Mrs. Malloy, you're here.

Where's my daughter?

She's safely back in class right now.

Come with me, please.

(Sighs)

What are you doing here?

Madi ditched school with Lucy.

What do you mean, ditched?

He means they cut.

But they're 10. 10 year olds don't get to cut school.

Where would they even go?

The bookstore on Ventura.

Apparently, Selena Gomez was there signing her autobiography.

Teenagers don't get to have autobiographies.

What is going on here?

The girls heard that Sharon Galecki was driving Olivia.

They lied to her and said we gave our permission.

Sharon Galecki drove them?

At least they were chaperoned.

By a woman who drives a hummer. Not feeling comforted.

Okay, look, I want to talk to my daughter immediately.

I think that would be an added disruption to the rest of the class.

I've already had a long talk with both of your girls.

I expect you to do the same at home.

And if anything like this ever happens again, it will most definitely be grounds for suspension.

Any questions?

No.

Good.

Sure. I'll hold.

(Woman giggles)

Yes, I'm still here.

I'm calling about my results to the paternity test.

(Woman laughs)

But how can that be?

No. No. I need the results sooner than that. Okay?

Please. Please. I... I... I've spoken to the lab already.

Is there any way that we could put a rush on this?

I'm willing to pay whatever it takes.

(Inhales and exhales deeply)

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh, please.

I have one margarita, and I am so obnoxious.

(Laughs)

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Oh, really? Like, how obnoxious is obnoxious?

Well... dancing on the tables obnoxious or...

Excuse me.

Uh, will you do me a favor and file these motions in the courthouse in Van Nuys?

The courthouse in Van Nuys?

Yeah. (Chuckles)

Is there a problem?

Well, I'm just new to L.A., so I haven't really figured out the freeways yet.

They're so scary.

(Laughs) Yeah.

Oh, I know, but what an excellent opportunity for you to overcome those fears, you know?

You'll do great.

You know, if you want to avoid the freeways, uh, you should take San Vicente. I can show her...

She'll be fine. Thank you.

Savannah.

There's a 50-page complaint on my desk that needs to be read and reviewed by noon.

May I?

Uh, what do we need?

(Speaks indistinctly) Yes.

Uh, this. Oh, this. So good.

Uh... oh. Olives or no olives?

Mm. Eh, olives.

Definitely olives.

But you hate them in your martinis.

Mmm.

(Josslyn) Mmm.

(Speaks indistinctly)

(Mouth full) I'm a purist when it comes to my gin.

(Laughs) Okay.

Olives it is.

Mmm.

(Giggles)

(Exhales deeply)

So are we gonna talk about this or...

It's totally up to you.

Mm. I generally don't talk.

I noticed.

I feel like I should make an exception because...

Because I'm a girl?

That, yeah, sure, and, um, yes.

(Mouth full) Let's start there. Okay?

You're not gay.

(Giggles)

Despite what just happened, which, to be honest, was pretty gay, when it comes to my sexual orientation, I'm... (Whistles) straight.

I love me some penis.

(Laughs)

Yeah, I know.

Also, I don't do relationships.

I know.

I just want to be up-front with you.

Listen, I just got out of a 5-year relationship, so I'm...

I'm not ready to jump into anything.

That's what I figured.

Mm-hmm.

I just wanted to confirm that this was, like, a... a rebound thing then, right?

Joss.

You are my friend, and I think you're absolutely gorgeous.

Well, back at ya.

Both counts.

And what happened between us... that was, uh...

Mm.

That was fun. Right?

It was. Yeah.

I had fun.

Mm.

Me, too.

So it can just be that?

Absolutely.

Fun is what I do best.

Mm.

I know that, too.

Thank you.

I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone.

What's going on? Is it Sam?

No. No.

This is about... did you ever meet with Anthony Newsome?

He's the investigator...

From the life insurance company.

Yeah, he came to my house a while ago.

Why?

He came to me, too.

And then came back again today asking for copies of my notes from my sessions with Thomas.

Why? I mean, why is he asking for them now?

It's been weeks.

He wouldn't tell me anything specific, just that there is new information that could potentially turn this into a criminal investigation.

Do you have any idea what that could be?

That must be why Cora called me.

Cora? Who's Cora?

She was the hospice nurse who was on duty the night tom passed away.

What information could a hospice nurse have that could affect his investigation?

I have no idea.

I dismissed Cora early that night, so she wasn't even there when it happened.

You did what?

I let her go home early so tom and I could be alone.

You didn't think that would raise suspicion?

Obviously, I wasn't in my right mind.

(Lowered voice) You may recall I was about to k*ll my husband with the dr*gs you so kindly provided.

It's possible I wasn't thinking straight.

Elizabeth.

Just exactly how much does this woman know?

We have to talk about this.

Morning.

Hi.

You look gorgeous today.

I do?

You weren't gonna slip out without saying good-bye, were you?

Oh, honey, you were sleeping so soundly.

I didn't want to wake you.

Wait. Before you go...

Got something.

Wow. A pregnancy test.

Yeah.

I mean, I know you're on your way to work, so...

I have a meeting in 20 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can do it later.

Okay.

There's no pressure, babe.

Really.

We can do it tonight.

My Lucy cutting school?

I can't remember being this mad at her ever.

I'm not so thrilled with this Sharon Galecki.

Oh. I already had words with Mrs. Galecki.

She won't be participating in carpool anymore.

Then my business manager tells me that despite the big old check, I'm still broke.

You're not broke, just not liquid.

What's the difference?

I still have to find a way to pay child support for Miranda's damn son when what I really want to do is kick her in the neck.

Maybe you should.

What kind of freaky shrink are you?

I don't mean kick her. I mean, kick something.

Get it out. Express the anger.

Yeah, I don't really do that.

I do. I kick-boxed for over an hour yesterday.

Felt great.

Who are you mad at?

Myself mostly, for being such an idiot.

Why? What's going on?

Oh, hey. Hi. Sorry I'm late.

Got caught up with Harry.

You... caught up with Harry?

About?

Oh no, I haven't told him anything yet.

How is this omelet?

Honey, don't you think it's time?

Mmm.

I know it's a difficult conversation, but it's not like you can hide this from him forever.

Oh, I know. He brought home a pregnancy test today.

What?

What?

(Mouth full) Yeah, apparently, my breath smells like some kind of metal baby.

Whatever. You know what? I can't...

I can't talk about it. Okay? I just can't.

Savi...

Please. Please.

Let's not talk about it. Okay?

Sure.

Okay. I mean, for this one meal, I am officially not pregnant.

I have to pee, for the 19th time today.

Huh.

The farmer John look really works on you.

I wouldn't have thought.

Oh. Ugh. The odor, however... not so much. (Sniffles)

This is an abnormally large cucumber.

Okay. What?

What did I do now?

Saw you in here raiding the fridge with your, uh, "friend" yesterday.

Oh, crap. We ate all your kiwi. That's why you're mad.

I'm not mad.

Well, you seem mad.

No, I just... I don't get you sometimes.

What?

Well, you made such a big deal about making a new friend, and how important it was to you.

It is important to me.

Then why are you mucking it up?

I'm not mucking anything up.

Well, you had sex with her, right?

So? What do you care?

I don't care. You should, though, if the friendship truly matters to you.

Harry, I appreciate your concern, but Alex an I talked about it, and we're good.

Well, you might think you're good, but come on.

Haven't you seen all those terrible movies where you learn that friends can't have sex with each other?

Yeah, but the lesson I learned is not to be the boring straight person whose conventional values never bring them any happiness.

Joss, sometimes having values is what brings you happiness.

You know what? Screw you, Harry.

I have values. Just because they're not the same as yours doesn't mean you get to judge me.

You're being awfully defensive for someone who doesn't think she did anything wrong.

Get over yourself.

So... you wanna talk about what happened yesterday?

Yesterday? What are you talking about?

With Jerica.

Who is Jerica?

The paralegal that you basically hazed like some sorority girl.

It was hardly hazing.

Just asking her to do her job.

Very sorry if it took away from your precious time together. (Laughs)

So I was right.

You... you... you do have a problem with her.

No. I have a problem with flighty girls in flimsy blouses not doing their work and preventing me from doing mine.

In other words, you're jealous.

(Chuckles) I'm not jealous.

If you want to sleep with her, please, by all means, do it.

I don't care.

Like hell, you don't.

Excuse me?

You obviously do care.

Okay.

You know what? I, uh, you're right.

Okay.

I am jealous, but of you.

Of me?

Because you get to do whatever you want, and it just doesn't matter.

My life has been rocked to the core by this thing that we did, okay, and you get to walk around completely unscathed.

(Scoffs) Do you honestly think that I've... I've come out of this unscathed?

Uh... are... are you blind, Savannah?

Why do you think I'm even here talking to you?

W... why do you think I come back every time you turn me away?

I do it because you affected me.

There is something between us.

Whether you choose to admit it or not, it's th...

It's, you know, it's... it's... it's there, and if you'd just talk to me instead of lecturing me on how it's never gonna happen again, I would've told you exactly how I felt.

I would've told you that I don't regret what happened that night.

Not for a moment.

Not for a second.

Okay. Let's get this show on the road.

Truck's almost full.

I can't decide if I should take this vase or not.

Well, is it yours?

Well, we bought it together on a trip to Palm Springs, but she didn't like it, but she paid for it.

Well, if you love it, you should take it.

Yeah? Maybe.

I don't know. I have to be honest, I'm a little out of my element here.

This is... (Exhales) super intense.

I know. I shouldn't have dragged you into all this.

No. I didn't want you to do it alone.

Okay.

Executive decision.

Leave the vase.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

Hey.

I thought you were gonna be at work today.

I left early. I have a cold.

Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need anything?

I can get you some orange juice from the fridge.

Uh, no, thank you. I really... I just wanna lie down.

Are you guys almost done?

Yeah, there's a couple things left in the bathroom.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'll wait outside.

What are you even doing here?

Oh. I'm helping Alex move.

(Scoffs) I am such an idiot.

And here we go.

You know, I kept thinking I must've missed a sign or something.

We were in such a good place, looking for houses, talking about getting pregnant, and all of a sudden, there was this shift.

Just tell Alex I'm in the car, okay?

Suddenly, Alex is having all these problems with the relationship, and I actually believed her.

She was having problems, Sally.

Yeah.

You.

You were the problem.

Don't try to blame this on me.

I'm not.

I mean, it's not your fault Alex fell for you.

(Scoffs)

At least I don't think it's your fault. Maybe it is.

Maybe you seduced her.

She didn't fall for me.

Sally, Alex and I are just friends.

If you believe that, then you're dumber than you look.

Okay, that's everything.

Don't forget to leave the key.

Hey.

Come on. Let's go.

You can not talk to me all you want.

You're still grounded. You finish your homework?

Yes.

Good. I'd like to see it when we get home.

Fine.

What you did was really wrong, Lucy.

Lying like that? Not being where you're supposed to be?

Rules are there for a reason.

I know that. Okay?

Being honorable and responsible are two of the most important things a person can be.

I wanted to meet Selena!

And I want to meet the Pope so I can punch him in the face, but you don't see me flying off to Rome because I have a commitment to you and to the shop.

We can't just do whatever we want to do because we want to do it.

Well, I'm not sorry I went.

It was the best moment of my life.

She gave me a hug and she wrote inside my book.

She said "Love, Selena."

Lucy, if this meant so much to you, why didn't you just ask me to take you?

You normally ask my permission to do things like this.

Well, usually, you're not acting so weird.

You think I'm acting weird?

It doesn't matter.

You would never have let me cut school anyway.

You don't know that.

Yeah, I do.

No offense, mom, but you're kind of a goody two-shoes.

Elizabeth Grey is here.

Oh, good. Send her in.

I'm so glad to see you.

When you didn't return my phone calls, I...

I'm sorry about that.

I needed time to figure out what to do next, and now that I have, I need your help.

What kind of help?

I've decided I don't want the insurance money anymore.

What?

This investigation has gone on for too long.

I can't take the pressure, and I can't risk Sam finding out what I did if this all goes to trial.

Trial? Hold on, Elizabeth.

Even with the new testimony, it's highly unlikely they would be able to follow through with a criminal investigation.

I'm sure if we wait it out a bit longer...

I've been waiting.

It hasn't gone away.

And now it's possible I could even go to jail over this.

You're not going to jail.

I want you to tell them that Thomas was a man who needed to control every situation, even his own death, that he was suicidal.

No, I can't do that.

I appreciate you wanting to protect my settlement.

It's very kind of you.

But now I'm asking that you submit the notes from your sessions so that I can put this behind me.

But I don't have any notes that say that.

You can make them up.

And make them irrefutable, Karen, so the insurance company can deny the claim, and we can both move on with our lives.

You don't understand.

I don't remember any specifics.

January 28th.

A day I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

Thomas came home from the doctor.

There were tears in his eyes.

I knew something was terribly wrong.

That afternoon, he went to his usual appointment at your office.

You can start there.

Fabricating notes could cost me my medical license.

Besides, I already told the investigator that Thomas wasn't suicidal.

Writing notes that now say the opposite would arouse even more suspicion.

Karen... you need to do this for both of us.

No matter how you look at it, we're in this together.

(Crickets chirping)

(Humming)

(Whistles)

Virgin cranberry mojito with mint and agave nectar.

I just peed.

There's also a hint of anise.

It's a, uh, it's a natural diuretic.

I'm not thirsty.

Well, just drink enough so you can pee on the stick for ten seconds.

What is this? A vase?

(Chuckles) Come on.

Okay.

Yeah.

Um, I think your sister's mad at me.

I, uh, kind of picked a fight with her this afternoon.

You really want to talk about my sister right now?

I'm just trying to keep things casual.

Sorry. Take your time.

Well, that was quick.

Did you set a timer?

I'm bleeding.

Y... you got your period.

Well, I guess you're not pregnant then.

Yeah, I guess not.

(Mouth full) Toasted sesame from the nosh.

I can make you one real fast.

No, but thanks. I've got a pile of paperwork to catch up on.

Hey, your friend dropped by this morning.

Mr. Newsome?

Said he was an investigator for the Thomas Grey case.

He came to see me again?

Well, actually, he came to see me.

Why? What did he want?

I couldn't really tell exactly.

He kept asking all these general questions about the practice, our policy with patients' records... that sort of thing.

I'm so sorry he bothered you.

I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.

You in trouble, Karen?

What?

It's just... you seem so stressed out lately.

I'm worried about you.

Do you need to talk about anything?

I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind lately.

Nervous about that panel?

You know me. I hate public speaking.

Yeah, well, just, uh, imagine everyone in the audience as naked.

(Mouth full) Except for me.

That would be weird.

(Cell phone rings)

(Ring)

(Clears throat)

(Ring)

Hey, you. What's up?

(Alex) Oh, gosh. I hate unpacking.

Oh. How's the new place?

It's small.

Realtors prefer the term "cozy."

And quaint.

Charming. (Laughs)

Charming. (Laughs)

(Sighs) I actually could use a break.

Do you wanna get lunch?

There's this new vegan place I've been dying to try, and it'll be my treat since you helped me move.

Oh, um, I wish I could, but I'm totally swamped with work right now.

Bummer.

In fact, I should hang up.

The boss is totally hovering. I'll call you, okay?

Okay.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

(Typing on keyboard) (Computer beeps)

So, Savannah... you're still pregnant.

That must be a relief to hear.

(Crying) Yes. Oh.

Yes, it is.

You're okay.

It's okay.

I was so worried that I lost it.

Spotting is perfectly normal at this stage.

But we've got some other problems to discuss if you want to have a healthy pregnancy.

(Sniffles) What do you mean?

Your blood pressure is a real concern, Savi, so is your heart rate. They're both off the charts.

Do you have any idea what could be causing this?

Uh, I've been under a lot of stress lately at home and at work.

Anything we should discuss?

It's just all normal stuff.

Well, it's a problem.

Things can't continue the way they are.

You've got to make some lifestyle changes for you and your baby.

Good night.

Ooh.

Hey.

Oh. Hey.

Um, come on in. I'm just finishing up.

I was in the neighborhood. Wanted to check in.

See how you came out in the sentencing for your little criminal. Two weeks in the hole, no playdates...

No TV.

No computer.

No computer?

That's where they tend to watch all their TV.

(Chuckles) She played me so well.

Do they have a report due on Facebook in their graphic arts class?

They don't have graphic arts class.

(Laughs)

I am the worst father. Oh.

You all right?

Are you kidding? I'm perfect.

I'm a perfectly polite, good, sensible woman who does the right thing... always have my whole life... and what did it get me?

My spidey sense tells me that you're not happy with the answer.

It got me a husband who ran off and cheated and d*ed and a mistress who wants me to pay for their child, and because I'm me, I'm actually doing it.

April, that... that's what's been going on?

I married my high school boyfriend, never strayed in 20 years, made a perfect home, raised a nearly perfect child.

The only imperfect thing about her is this rebellious streak that's just starting to rear its head.

And you know what?

What?

I'm proud of her and even a little jealous.

I've never done an impulsive or reckless thing in my life.

There's still time.

You didn't just happen to be in the neighborhood, did you?

Mm.

***

(woman) * if you ever need someone *

♪ to cry to ♪
♪ if you ever need someone ♪
♪ to hold you ♪
♪ I will be there ♪
♪ ba, ba-da ♪
♪ ah, ah ♪
♪ standing by your side ♪
♪ ah, ah ♪
♪ I will be there ♪
♪ ah, ah ♪
♪ ba, ba-da ♪
♪ ah, ah ♪
♪ ba, ba-da ♪
♪ standing by your side ♪
♪ ba, ba-da ♪

(characters on TV speaking indistinctly)

(Chuckles) Watch this next part.

"Wait a second."

"Just kidding"?

(Laughs) Mm.

I'm taking a shower. Care to join me?

No, thanks. Do you mind if I change the channel, though?

Yeah. Sure. Just make sure you record it.

It's an awesome ep.

Okay. (Chuckles)

(Speaks indistinctly)

Or a...

(Cell phone alert chirps)

__. A lizard?

(Chuckles)

(Gossip's "Into the wild" playing)

(Cell phone alert chirps)

(Laughs)

♪ tell you all the words you want to hear ♪

(cell phone rings)

♪ so I went... ♪

Hey.

Hey. What are you doing right now?

Nothing, really.

Yeah.

No. I'm coming over.

I gotta meet the new roommate.

♪ in the wild ♪
♪ to the wild ♪

Hey, we totally use the same conditioner.

Really... odd.

Joss?

♪ in the wild ♪
♪ to the wild ♪

(Richard and April laugh)

♪ it's all over now ♪

(sighs)

(Sighs)

Oh, my God.

You're gonna have to mark down this bed after what we just put it through.

(Laughs)

Oh, God. Who am I?

You are a reckless, irresponsible, linen-selling goddess.

That was amazing.

Was that amazing or has it just been too long?

No. That was amazing.

That was the one to b*at.

Mm.

♪ ... Cities over islands ♪
♪ I'm returning to the place... ♪

Richard?

Yeah?

Oh, my God.

What? What time is it?

Oh, the kids!

Oh! Totally lost track of time.

I know! So did I... w... where's my... oh.

Here. Sorry.

Wait a minute.

What?

Lucy's at play rehearsal.

Madi's with her grandma.

(Belt rattles) (Giggles)

(Laughs)

(Chuckles)

(Clears throat)

Oops.

I guess you were right.

I was kind of getting my hopes up.

You know what?

It'll come in handy one day.

Babe, what's wrong?

I'm pregnant, Harry... but it might not be yours.