01x04 - Season 1, Episode 4

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Doll & Em".Aired: February 2014 to March 2014.*
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"Doll & Em" is about an actress named Em heading to Hollywood, closely followed by best friend Doll as they navigate their friendship once Em hires Doll to be her assistant.
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01x04 - Season 1, Episode 4

Post by bunniefuu »

Doll: But what are you talking about? I did the gas and the television before I left.

Man: I know, but... but what about the water?

Doll: Oh, shut up. Tom, you have very, very long showers.

Tom on computer: They're short showers. They're short. They're tiny.

Doll: It's the same amount of water. You're being...

Tom: A tiny amount of a shower.

Yeah, but you don't have a tiny amount of a shower.

What? I have a tiny pile of clothes...


Are you all right, Doll? Is that Tom?

Yes, it's Tom and he's being foul.

Tom: Ahem.


Hi, Tom. How's it going?

What?

How's it going?

It's good.

Good.

How are you?

Not too bad.

All right. Working away.

Yes, brilliant.

Great.

What's the weather like there?

(Theme music playing)

Hey.

Hello, darling.

Aw, Sally.

Aw, how is the queen's gift to Los Angeles?

Oh, God, I'm in dire need of you.

No, you're not.

I am, you need to rescue me.

Oh, good lord.

I feel like I'm being blamed for something or it's all my fault or...

Every time I look over at the monitor, I'm completely convinced everybody's talking about f*ring me.

(Sighs) You're feeling exactly how you should be feeling, darling.

When you're on top, you start to get paranoid.

Right.

Use it.

(Doll yelling in background)

Doll: That is such an easy thing to say!

That's pathetic!

No, that's great.


That's so good, I think.

Of course I haven't changed. I'm just having a nice time!

Can we start with scene 18?

I think that's the first one up today.

What do you mean somebody else?

Sure.

(Moans)

(Footsteps approach)

Hey, Em.


Put your hand in. It feels amazing.

What?

This bubble bath is so milky.

Where did you get it?

My mum bought it for me.

Oh, look, I'm so sorry about all that shouting before.

It was a very long chapter, and I just had to close it.

No, I'm just glad you're all right now.

So, I'm heading off.

What? Where are you going?

To set.

Without me?


I thought you were still resting.

Oh, no. I've been resting for days.

Can you get me a towel?

Doll, come on. Have a day off. You've hurt yourself.

No, no, I'm ready to work. Just give me five minutes.

You okay?

Oh!

Oh, thank you.

Can you bring my leg brace?

Where is it?

That's yours.

Oh, God. Okay, where are we going?

Okay, sh*t. I don't know how to...

Ah! What are you meant...

How are you meant to work these things?

Just push "recent."

Address...


Doll: That's the good thing about heaven.

I just imagine my dad sort of somewhere above, floating around smiling and giving the occasional wink.

That's so sweet.

Can't tell where my dad went.

(Phone chiming)

Oh, no, it's Tom again. I really don't want to talk to him.

No, but... because I thought it was an emergency or something.

What?

What? Well, can I just say, isn't this proving the point that you have never paid them before...

(Music playing loudly)

If you can't even find the meter.

No, there's four... That's the electricity.

Can I just tell you before you go off on me?


(Groans)

I feel really carsick, Em.

Can you just drive like there's an egg on the bonnet?

Is that cool? (Sighs)

(Hand brake ratchets)

Em: Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry.


Where is everyone?

Okay, quick, Doll.

I'm sorry.

Cheers.

Can you manage, no?

No, okay. There we go.

Come on.

I'm coming on.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

I'm just really late.

Ow.

What?

They just sort of pinch under your armpits.

Oh, God.

How do I get up like that?

Oh, God, I don't know. How are we gonna do this?

Shall I give you...

Em: Yep.

Yeah, here.

Thank you.

Okay, you all right?

Yep. Oh.

You okay?

Yep.

Doll: Ow.

Oh, God, I'm sorry. Are you all right?

Yep.

Come on, quick.

Wow.

My God.

(Crutches clatter)

I bet that's for you.

For me? Of course it's not for me.

It's probably from your agents.

Is there a card?

Yeah.

Have a look at it.

No, you look at it.

Oh, okay.

Oh, from the crew. "Get well," and they've all signed it.

Aw.

That's so sweet.

See? Look how much everyone loves you, Doll.

Oh.

(Knock on door)

Woman: Hi.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We actually need to get in the works right away.

We're running late.

I know, I'm so sorry.


I'm sorry.

Sorry, that's probably my fault.

(Groans)

Oh, God.

(Door opens)

What have you got there?

Oh, my God.

You don't have to do that.

(Knock on door)

Mike: Em?

Emily: Hey.

You guys know each other, right?


Yes, hi.

Hi.

We met at the party. She was so lovely and encouraging.

Oh, yeah, you, too.

So nice to see you again.

You, too.

That's Dolly. That's Em's assistant.

You're her really old friend, right? I remember.

Exactly.

Hi.

So, Chloe, I...

You're coming out here to warn her it's time for her to go.

Em, you've fallen in love...

Emily: Right...


And you want to hunker down...

It's just like "the Godfather."

No, Chloe, it's not like "the Godfather."

It's a strong central female character, but the point is, today is about this scene.

Chloe: What happened to your leg?

So I'm trying to sh**t this in one take... get the dialog...

It's so stupid. I tripped on the curb.

Can I take a look at it?

** helpful...

Of course.

And what did they say is wrong with it?

It's just a sprain.

It's just superficial, isn't it?

Mike: If you need more time...

Well, you want to be careful.

This happened to my sister-in-law.

She didn't rest it properly and she's still suffering.

We're gonna go until it's done.

Oh, no, poor thing.

It's weird, it hurts more than you'd imagine.

If you have any concerns, just...

Doll: Did she have to take medication or anything for it?

Chloe: Now she does 'cause she didn't rest it enough.

We'll have...

You should keep it up higher.

We'll just focus in on this today and make it sure...


Thank you so much, Chloe.

That's good.

Okay?

Bye, Mike. Thanks.

I think it's a little bit higher than that.

Just about... Yeah, right there.

Perfect.

Jacob: Hey, Dolly.

Doll: Hey.


Got something for ya.

You are so sweet. I love fudge.

It's literally my favorite thing.

Yeah, I heard.

Thank you.

No problem. It's just a little token of solidarity from me and the boys and crew. I mean, that sh*t was f*cked up.

Woman: Is this okay?

Jacob: They got their coffee.

What did you get?

Um, yeah, that should be good, yeah.

Except just make sure it's a smudge down that way.

I'm just saying, you might want to take this up with someone.

I mean, this business is brutal, and if you let 'em, people are just gonna chew you up, spit you out...

Hey.

Uh, I gotta go. I'll see you guys out there.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

All right.
Look what I got... Dark chocolate fudge.

Wow.

It's really heavy.

That was nice of him.

That was so sweet.

You couldn't pass my crutches, could you?

Oh, yes.

Doll: I mean, it's true, you know.

I could've burnt my face
or broken my jaw or something.

Yeah, I know.

You know, that fall was totally harrowing and unnecessary.

You know, it's not like I'm ungrateful or anything, but no amount of gift baskets is gonna put that right.

I'm gonna take it to the top, Em.

I'm gonna speak to Edgar.

Um...

Would it be okay if you did that after this scene?

It's just, you know, it's the one I've been dreading.

It's kind of the pivotal scene of the movie, really,

and I'm...

Buddy: Dolly!


I'm just really nervous about it.

It would be great if I could just get this one scene under my belt before...

The surgical slipper fits!


You are my princess.

I've searched throughout the kingdom...

Doll: How many other women have you searched through?

Buddy: For someone who fits that surgical boot.

Doll: How many people...

Buddy: Who's looking after you, anyway?

Emily: So I'm in love with you now.

Man: And I'm about to die.

Emily: In this sh*t?


Where's the g*n guy? The armor or whatever?

I don't know. I think this is just the first bit.

We don't need him yet.

Oh.

I think we're breaking it up into parts... I think.

Woman: Okay, people. The sun's going down.

Man: Producer on set.


Woman: Let's get in there. Last looks, please.

Uh, Edgar, sir. How do you do?

Yeah, right this way.

Woman: Last look, people.

Quickly, quickly.

Man: All set, big guy?

Mike: Yep, all right.

It's good?

Man: We are almost there.


Edgar.

Man: Losing light!

Woman: Lock it up!

Mike: Thank you.

Man: Thank you.


Edgar, we haven't been introduced.

I'm Dolly. I'm Emily's best friend.

Mike: All right.

Mike: Action.

(Faint beeping)

(Beeping)

(Clicks)

(Beeping)


I love mushrooms.

They are so good.

Can I have a few more?

Of course.

Thank you. Yummy.

Thank you so much.

You're very welcome, enjoy.

Hey, Emily.

Hey.

Hey.

Um...

I really can't emphasize enough to you how important this scene is.

Right, no, I hear you.

It's, like, everything that I care about in this entire movie in one moment.

Yeah.

It's the moment when you realize that you can never escape who you are.

It's the moment when you realize you've been betrayed by your closest ally, your cousin, Virginia.

Right.

The one person who, up until now, has been everything.

Yeah, God, that's exactly it. Thank you.

(Stammers)

Imagine Dolly treating you that way.

How would that make you feel?

No, that's...

I just can't...

Ugh, I don't...

I just want to see it.

Yeah.

And we cannot f*ck this one up.

Okay, well, I'll try. No, I get it.

Thank you. Thank you, Mike.

Do you?

Do you get it? 'Cause I don't know.

Sometimes I look at you and it's like you're f*cking terrified.

What?

(Crow squawks)

Virginia.

Valerie.

How's the house been?

Strange.

Strange after all these years.

But thank you for...

I used to love it when you'd come by to visit.

Things were so much simpler when we were kids.

Can I get you something to drink?

No, I can't stay.

Is everything all right?

Where's Dylan?

Morning, sarge.

Dylan.

...those toes.

(Laughing)

But still eminently...

(Phone ringing)


What's the toe fetish?

You can take it, go ahead.

No, no, no, it's fine. It's my ex-boyfriend.

He's been hounding me all day.

Well, I could help with that, if you want.

No, you're sweet. What were you saying about beauty and the ankle beast?

I was saying how unspeakably arousing I find it to peek down your surgical boot to the flesh-colored...

(Phone rings)

Oh, Jesus Christ.


No, no.

I got it, listen. Let me do it.

Hey, mate, listen. Yeah, listen, listen.

Just leave her... can you just leave her the f*ck alone, please?

You screwed this up, you take the responsibility.

Oh, you wanna know who this is?

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy!

I'll tell you who this is.

No, Buddy, please.

Somebody who is actually concerned about a woman you're not concerned about.

Otherwise you wouldn't be stalking her...

Buddy! Buddy!

That's right, it is. Yeah-huh.


Buddy, get off the phone!

...restraining order.

Buddy!

With her anymore, I will be...

Em! (Sobbing)

To come down on you like a legal tsunami.

Give me your g*n.

Valerie...?

And... cut.

That's a cut!

That's good. Let's go right away.

Um, one more time. Right on with everything.

(Sobbing)

Mike: What do you think about registering that pain just a little bit more... The disappointment?

He's completely broken protocol.

Good, good.

Got it.

Uh, good, bro. Em?

I thought... yeah?

Um...

Still not getting that b*at.

Really? sh*t, okay.

Yeah.

Um...

The betrayal. It's gotta be up here.

Right.

(Doll whispering) Em...?

I feel...

It's weird, I was feeling...

I was feeling it.

Em...?

It's something on your shoulders that I think you need to lighten up because this is your...

Um, Emily?

Yeah?

Em, do you need some sunblock on?

What?

If you needed some sun cream.

I don't know.

Your chin's a bit pink.

Okay.

Should I put a little bit on?

Go on, then, quickly.

Um, the thing is it's...

Hold on a second...

I know what you're saying about how it's meant to be...

(Spitting)

Sorry, I...

Stop touching me. Just get away from me.

I'm just trying to make it...

I know, I know but I don't need your help, Doll.

I'm working, okay?

Okay, okay.

I need to talk to you for a minute.

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

What were you saying about the betrayal and everything?

What was that?

Something... Righteous indignation, I, um, I...

Okay.

Let's go. Let's just go again.

Man: Going again.

Woman: Okay, last look!


It's a superficial sprain.

She's the one who wanted to come back to work today.

I told her to stay at home and rest, put it up or whatever.

I mean, I'm paying her a lot of money.

Why am I starting to feel like I've committed some kind of crime or something?

I don't know. It's just getting really weird now.

I think Em and I just need to catch up.

I mean, I've got so much to thank her for.

I was at rock bottom. I felt completely alone, and she just booked me a business-class ticket and just sorted the whole thing out.

I mean, she's such a sweetheart.

She's such a good person.

I mean, I could be working for a real monster.

You sound just like an assistant.

(Phone clicking)

(Faint buzzing)

Scotty, hi.

Yeah, she's right next to me. Is this about her leg?

Okay.

It's my agent. It's for you.

Scotty, hey, how are you?

Are you joking?

Seriously?

Me?

Yeah.

No, no, of course.

Yeah, okay, thank... Yeah, thank you.

Okay, bye.

What?

What? Tell me.

"Hi."

"Hi. Hi.

Hope I'm not bothering you.

No, I just want to see the apartment.

Just want to see what the apartment would look like...

I just wanted to see what the apartment would look like without furniture.

I just want to see what the apartment would look like without furniture."

Furni... could use a bookshelf.

"Could use a bookshelf."

(Footsteps approaching)

"What are these?"


Oh, you two girls are so cute. So glad you made it.

We're a little under the g*n, so...

Hey.

We want to keep it moving. I want to get that tape out.

And you.

Hey.

Oh.

So, have you been drilling the lines, helping each other, all that good stuff?

Yeah?

(Chuckles)

Who wants to come in first?

Um, I guess I...

I could go first.

All right, great. Thank you.

Doll: Thank you so much for thinking of me.

Carla: Oh, you're welcome.

Doll: I can sort of feel all the famous people that have been in this building.

Break a leg, Doll.

Carla: You are... you have a wonderful energy.

I love you already. Let's do coffee later.

Doll: What's Heather Graham like?

She's kinda pretty and...

Doll: Right, yeah, yeah.

(Conversation fades)


"Hi."

"Hi, I hope I'm not bothering you."

(Conversation continues)

(Footsteps approaching)


How'd it go?

Terrible. I f*cked it up completely.

Come on, you always say that and then you do absolutely brilliantly.

How about you?

Terrible.

Let's just go and get drunk somewhere.

That sounds really nice, but Buddy just texted me.

We're gonna go out for a drink.

Oh.

But come if you like.

No.

(Music playing)
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