01x04 - Episode 4

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Humans". Aired: June 2015 to July 2018.*
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"Humans" is set in suburban London and the story takes place in a parallel present where the latest must-have gadget for any busy family is a Synth: a highly-developed robotic servant that's so similar to a real human it's transforming the way we live. Based on the award-winning Swedish sci-fi drama "Real Humans".
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01x04 - Episode 4

Post by bunniefuu »

First impressions?

Looks like it crushed the punter's throat, held a Kn*fe to the madam. She said it was acting angry, just like a human.

I saw the forensics leaving. What are you trying to hide?

You're suspended from duty, active immediately.

For legal reasons, a Synthetic appliance cannot self-examine.

My clothes must be removed.

Yeah, I was afraid you were going to say that.

Would you like me to open that for you, Peter?

Tell it to stay out of my way!

Pete!

You've k*lled someone, Niska. They'll find you.

They'll destroy you.

You can't be allowed to exist.

Who is Tom?

Shut up!

Never say that name again. Do you understand?

Promise me.

You're a weirdo, Anita. I'm going to find out why.

Oh, my God, she's here.

We can find her.

I'm here! Help me! Help me!

We are looking for a particular group of Synths.

This one again.

These Russian junkers picked her up somewhere. They brought it to me.

I installed some new software and I took my fee.

Where can I find these Slavic entrepreneurs?

I'll tell you exactly what I told the other bloke. I've got no idea.

The other bloke?

20s, dark hair, looked like he was sleeping rough.

Him and his dolly were looking for her too.

His dolly hit my mate.

Properly, put him down.

Now, how is that possible?

This other young man, are you sure he was human?

Oh, you what?

Was he human?

Well, he bled... blood.

We're not looking for five Synthetics.

We're looking for four and a human.

There's a young man with them. Must be protecting them.

I want him to be the focus now and those backpacks we discounted, I want them tested for human DNA.

Could you use some extra help around the house?

Introducing the world's first family android.

This mechanical maid is capable of serving more than just breakfast in bed.

What could you accomplish if you had someone, something like this?

These machines will bring us closer together.


Mmm, that smells good.

Oh, Pete, don't make a call now, breakfast's nearly ready.

(Phone rings)

Hello.

Hi, Karen, it's me, just checking in.

How's gardening leave?

Bored out my mind.

Stuck here until that little creep from the paper drops his stupid complaint.

Well, there's an argument that's what happens when you as*ault journalists.

Noted, yeah.

What's happening with the case?

Oh, yeah, solved it, on to the next thing now.

Very funny.

Could you e-mail me over the case files?

Erm, I can't get access from my home computer.

Oh, yeah, that sounds like a good idea, then we can both be suspended together.

Pete.

I'm on the phone, Jill.

Well, are you going to finish the call so we can eat together?

I'm not hungry, OK?

Fine. Well, can you leave then?

Cos some of us would like to have breakfast in peace.

Fine, I'm leaving.

Anita? A word.

How are your systems running?

Fine, thank you, Mattie.

Yeah?

No errors? Diagnostics all good?

I detect no errors in my system.

I detected a pretty friggin' big one the other night.

You know, suddenly switching to kidnap mode, "I'm here, help me!" Remember that?

I'm afraid I don't.

Well, I do. And it's messed up.

It's weird.

I guess I wanted to make sure you're OK, on a mechanical level, obviously.

My systems are running at full capacity, Mattie.

Thank you for your concern.

Yeah. Don't mention it.

Good chat.

Hello, Laura.

You would make a terrible spy.

Whereas you would actually make a pretty good Bond villain.

What happened to Anita the other night?

Nothing.

She malfunctioned a bit.

She yelled for help.

She yelled for help? What were you doing to her?

Nothing! Why would you assume I was?

OK, OK, don't jump down my throat.

I might have tried to hack her a little.

Mattie!

But she... she sounded scared.

Synths can't get scared, can they?

I don't think so. What would be the point?

Almost the weekend.

Urgh, don't remind me.

Not got anything fun planned with the kids?

Oh, unless you find passive aggression and simmering resentment fun.

I'm a lawyer, aren't I?

Anything good come in?

Not really, it's all a bit dry.

Oh, here's a fun one...

Mrs Kennedy was thrown out of a play for violating the theatre's policy on Synths in the audience.

She's suing for human rights violations.

Guess whose human rights?

The Synth's.

Says her dolly is special.

Special, how?

Says he enjoys the plays, apparently. Like a real live boy.

Who's taking it?

Don't worry, we turned her down.

She doesn't need legal aid, she needs a psychiatrist.

Pete, can you come in here a minute?

I need to talk to you.

What's going on?

I've been thinking... a lot.

And I don't think you make me happy any more.

I don't think that this relationship is healthy for me any more and I would like some time apart.

Well, Jill, I've been suspended from work, so I literally have to hang around the house all day. How can I spend less time with you?

I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now.

I'm sure there's places you can go.

This is mad.

I'm sorry.

No, don't apologise. Don't do that.

What's it said to you?

Simon has had nothing to do with this.

Yes, he... Yes, IT does!

Ever since we got that thing, this has been coming.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Jill, I'm a man and I'm not perfect... that's the point. None of us are, were not supposed to be.

Pete, Pete, no!

Shut up!

Look at me. Look at me.

Pete, the deposit!

Christ...

Leo, are you trying to steal a car?

Nope. Borrow one, if anything.

What do you want me to do, Max? Carry you to Mia?

We need to find her.

Do you think Mia will be happy to see us?

Who wouldn't be happy to see us?

Most people we meet nowadays don't seem to like us very much.

Yeah, well... they just haven't had a chance to get to know us yet.

The car was unlocked.

Yes, thank you, I can see that.

The coordinates we have aren't exact.

No.

So how are we going to find the forum user if we still don't have their precise location?

Don't worry about that, I've got a plan to flush them out.

Hmm, wait, Toby.

May I?

Enjoy the party, Toby.

Thank you.

They'll be gone for a while. Sophie's at a sleepover.

Got the place to ourselves.

What do you say we have a little house party of our own?

Actually, I'm going out as well.

Where?

It's a work thing. Last-minute arrangement.

Who else is going?

No-one you know.

I'll see you later.

Sorry.

Anita, do you ever get scared?

I think everyone does.

(Loud music plays)

OK, ground rules... if you drink too much, I'm not carrying you home.

Don't do dr*gs in front of me.

I don't want to talk to any of your little friends, and don't try and have sex with any of my friends.

Anything else?

No, that's it. Try and enjoy yourself.

Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Toby!

Hey, Caroline.

No-one knew if you were coming or not!

Do you want a drink?

I've got some ciders hidden in the washing machine.

Course he does.

Yeah, yeah, that would be nice.

Girl in my class.

All right, Casanova, enjoy your spin-cycle ciders.

Anita, you've got access to Laura's desktop, haven't you?

Can you check her e-mails, calendar, phone?

I am not able to access personal information unless requested to by the owner.

All right, well, the car's got one of those anti-theft tracking devices, right? You can tap into that, can't you?

Find its location?

It's my car, Anita. I want you to track it, please.

The car is currently driving north on Brooks Street.

It's noisy in here. Do you want to go outside and talk?

I can hear OK.

I mean, do you want to go somewhere? Just you and me.

Just you and me?

Erm, I do.

Really, really do.

But, erm, but I can't.

Of course you can.

No, I can't.

There's someone else.

I think I like someone else.

Your loss.

Yeah.

Where is it now?

Edmonds Street.

It's been there for three minutes and 28 seconds.

Right, so she's parked.

Where exactly is she, what house number?

I don't have that information.

OK, run a cross check on Laura's work and Edmonds Street, see if anyone she works with is living there.

I can find no record of anyone at Laura's firm living on Edmonds Street.

Is there anyone called Tom living there?

There are three residents on Edmonds Street with the first name Thomas.

I'm going over there.

Don't do that, Joe.

You don't know how this feels.

How could you? You can't feel.

You have no idea.

At 5.22PM, Laura dialled the landline to a Mrs Alexandra Kennedy and confirmed a meeting at her house this evening regarding her lawsuit.

Thank you.

I was surprised to hear from you.

Your firm told me that I didn't have a case.

Right, yes. They did. We did.

I just wanted to do a follow up, if that's OK?

Oh, of course.

I wanted to ask you both some questions about what happened at the theatre.

Well, we settled down to watch the play.

20 minutes in, an usher comes along and tells me that I need to take Howard out.

No Synths allowed.

But Howard's not just some Synth.

In what way?

He understands what he's watching.

Is it true, Howard?

When you watch the plays, what do you feel?

It depends.

Sometimes plays are supposed to make you laugh, sometimes they're supposed to make you cry.

All plays are different.

This play, then. How did it affect you before you were thrown out?

The story begins when Willy Loman, a travelling salesman, returns to his family home in Brooklyn, New York City.

His wife gets up to meet him...

That's the plot, Howard.

What did you feel?

Sometimes wish my family came with instructions.

Or me.

Can you feel awkwardness?

Just as well.

Wonder what it's like, not feeling anything.

It's got to drag, after a while, hasn't it?

I mean what about this? This unlocks you, makes you... passionate.

That's a feeling.

It creates the impression of passion.

It's a simulation of an emotion.

Yeah, but it's one of the good ones, as far as I can remember.

Do you want to try it?

Just out of curiosity. I mean, we won't do anything, obviously.

Alex, he doesn't have any human rights. You know that.

Howard doesn't enjoy the play any more than your wristwatch.

He's just better at convincing you.

I'm not a mad woman.

I don't believe that Howard is a human.

But I also don't believe that he is an inanimate object that I should be ashamed of having a connection with.

We created these creatures.

They walk and they talk and they look and they smell and they become part of our lives and families.

They, they, they are as close to humans as can be, and yet still people insist that forming a relationship with them, or treating them with dignity, is somehow perverse.

Well, we have created a grey area, Mrs Hawkins, we can't keep insisting that they are just gadgets.

They're more than that. We've made them more than that.

Rose. Mesmerise. Summer.

There must be physical contact with my primary user to enable activation.

Rose. Mesmerize. Summer. Sapphire.

Crush.

It's kicking in. Did it work?

Can you... feel something?

Yes.

So what happens now?

Anything you want.
Could you not take your daughter with you next time?

Do you have children?

Yeah.

People say the human/Synth relationships is complicated.

Howard, sometimes plays are supposed to make you frightened.

Do you ever get scared?

I am not built to feel fear, Mrs Hawkins.

How do I... turn you off?

Command it.

Anita, turn off adult mode.

Delete this from your records and, er, don't mention this to...

I don't give you permission to mention this to anyone.

Do you, do you need to clean up or something?

Yes. May I use the bathroom?

Sure.

In 60 minutes exactly, it will be ten o'clock pm.

I'm required to turn the volume of the music down to a lower decibel level.

Fine.

Oi, Danny, didn't your cousin get her chipped?

Nah, he tried to but couldn't do it. I've seen her tits, though.

Oh, man.

Oh, now I want to see her tits.

Oh, bosh! Go on! Oh, yeah, mate. Go on, do it!

My system's settings require that any inappropriate touching by a minor be reported to the primary user.

My system's settings require that...

Oh, she's heavy, help me.

Give it a rest, Joe. It's weird.

Help me get her upstairs, I'm having a go on it.

No, you're not doing that.

What do you care?

Do you think it's normal to drag an unconscious woman to a room and r*pe her?

Is that standard party activity for you?

She's not a real woman.

So, why are you trying to put your d*ck in her?

Maybe I just want to try p*ssy that's factory fresh for once.

You are a nasty little creep.

The only thing you'll be abusing tonight is your own fist.

(Door opens)

How was your work thing?

Oh, dead end.

How was your evening?

Fine.

Sorry we argued.

You don't have to apologise for anything.

I want to take Anita in for a diagnostics check tomorrow.

Why?

Because either there's something wrong with her or me... and I'd like to find out which.

God!

Good morning, Pete.

Can I ask what you're doing sleeping in the office?

You're the detective... you figure it out.

She... chucked me out.

It's over.

Maybe she just needs a bit of time on her own.

She's not on her own, though, is she?

She's got Simon the Synth...

That doesn't mean she's replaced you.

I'm an analogue man in a digital world, Karen.

I'm redundant.

Things are sh*t here without you, you know.

I have to do all your paperwork, for a start.

Don't worry. I've got a plan.

Well, hurry up about it.

Why don't you sleep on my sofa for a couple of nights?

While Jill gets her head together.

You sure?

Yeah, sure.

(Computer chimes)

I can see why User885 was concerned by Mia's code dump.

They're late.

Look, maybe they're already here, waiting.

What do they look like?

"I'm a 45-year-old man, 6'4", extremely heavy build, big bushy beard. Will be wearing a tight white T-shirt, denim shorts and a trucker cap."

That's a very specific description.

I definitely would've noticed him if he were here.

So, where is this vast, bearded man?

You been stood up?

Yeah, yeah, kind of. Yeah.

Hmm, hot date, was it?

I was actually waiting for a giant lumberjack stripper, so...

Yeah, well, you never know who you're going to meet online.

Hu-bot97?

User885?

Yeah.

Cool handle. Sorry for the stakeout... just trying to make sure you weren't some psycho.

So, what do you think's wrong with my Synth?

Is Mia with you?

Who's Mia?

That's Mia.

I thought you were meeting me to help me with my Synth?

Well, I think your Synth is my Synth.

Sorry, dude, we bought ours two weeks ago, brand-new.

Look at the photo.

Yeah, you recognise her, don't you?

What is this? This a set-up or something?

Look.

Now, tell us where she is.

As fun as this has been, I'm going to go, now.

No, I'm sorry. No, no, no. I can't just let you leave.

This is important. She's important.

OK.

OK, I'll help you.

Is it OK if I go to the bathroom first, or are you going to wig about that, too?

Yeah, but leave your...

Leave your bag or your phone or something like that.

Fine.

I'll leave my bag.

You're not being very nice to her, Leo.

Leo.

If she's telling the truth and Mia's been completely wiped...

Leo.

... What if we can't get her back?

Leo.

What?

You need to look at this.

What is that?

Erm... why the hell have you got my bag?

That's my bag, freak!

Just a case of downloading her specs and running them through the machine.

I haven't seen one like her before, so she's a unique.

Sometimes they can be buggier than the mass-produced ones... it's just down to luck really.

And what sort of information do you get from them?

Whatever she's been up to, viruses, apps, hacks, mods, all that stuff.

Stuff like... passwords... activations... ?

We want to know everything that's been going on with her.

(Computer beeps)

Hang on.

Something funny here.

Yeah, that's weird. When did you say you bought her?

She was brand-new two weeks ago.

What is it? What's wrong?

Well, she's not brand-new, for a start.

Your Synth is at least 14 years old.

What do you think it means?

I've no idea.

I want you to look up everyone that worked on the Synth project... people on the inner circle... but find someone that's still around, someone that might know what this is.

There's a man that worked on the project in its early years.

Retired now.

His name is Dr George Millican.

George Millican...

George Millican...

All right, find out where he lives.

We're going to ask him some questions.

How's the arm?

Screw you.

What do you want, ex-Detective Drummond?

I wanted to tell you that you're missing the bigger picture, mate.

That brothel m*rder is a big story.

Bigger than "policeman hospitalises journalist"?

This might be the single biggest m*rder case in our country's history, and I can give you the exclusive story.

So he just dropped the charges?

Yeah, he must have had a change of heart.

Must've done.

Well, congratulations.

Good to have you back, Detective Drummond.

Thank you, Detective Voss.

(She laughs)

Spoken to Jill yet?

No.

She'll come round.

No, she won't.

It's done.

Anyway, that's that.

Then, I was thinking, what if it's not an isolated incident?

If there are more Synths out there who can k*ll?

Well, we're all screwed then, aren't we?

Powerful message, ain't it?

"We are people."

Folks needs reminding sometimes... reminding we're supposed to be the dominant species.

We're going to win it, you know?

Win what?

The w*r.

Oh, you don't believe me?

Here, check this out.

Happening tonight.

Yeah, all right, you'll see.

Dr Millican.

Sorry to trouble you so late, but there's something I'd like to show you.

Mm-hm.

Dr Millican!

You knew David Elster... so did I.

You're too young to have known David.

Can we come in?

Vera...

... this nice young man is from the church.

We're going to need a pot of tea.

Hmm.

Have you seen this before?

Ah...

Yeah, something like it.

David... Dr Elster... he loved to leave his little secret messages inside his work.

There was a Synth from Germany... he had David's secret recipe for mulligatawny soup in his root code.

It sold for 50,000 euros.

And Elster did this, did he? Personally?

There are collectors who look for this stuff.

The code... within the picture... is a separate, executable programme... and you just have to lift it out...

Huh. Whatever this is, it's for a Synth mind to experience.

Yeah, you just plug your pal in here, and...

... you run the programme.

Erm...

Thank you, Dr Millican, we've taken up enough of your time already.

Thank you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

You're not going to let me see what it is?

Why did you leave the project, Dr Millican?

David was taking his research in a direction I wasn't comfortable with.

Yeah, sentient Synths... and true AI.

Who are you?

Where did you find this?

And if you don't tell me who you are, I will call the cops.

No, please, don't do that.

All right.

I'm Leo Elster. I'm David's son.

Leo d*ed.

Yeah.

20 quid if you want to watch.

40 if you want a turn.

(Synths chatter)

(Crowd jeer)

You're up after this one.

Follow me.

Let's have it, then!

Smash her up!

Smash him! Come on!

Which one do you want?

Excellent choice.

You can get a w*apon from there.

Come on, love! Mess him up.

Go on! Get in there!

What are you waiting for? Get in there! Come on!

Come on! Get in there!

Are you ready?

I don't understand the question.

Hit it! Hit it! Go on!

It's humans versus synths!

I know.

Get me the police right now!

(Computer bleeps)

No.

Sir, we've intercepted a call. A fight in progress at a smash club.

Some women kicking off.

That's what smash clubs are for, aren't they?

She's attacking people! Not synths.

Description?

Could be our girl.

All right. Let's go.

You can go.

You can go.

My primary user...

I'm sorry.

Error.

I don't understand the question.

My primary user...

Error. My primary user...

Error. My primary user...

I'm sorry.

Down here! This way!

Don't break her.

What?

Don't worry.

It's just a message from Dad hidden in Mia. We were meant to find this.

It's not going to hurt me.

(Buzz)

What did you see?

Life.

(Phone rings)

Stay there!

I was just thinking about you.

Where are you?

Actually, I'm in a bit of a tight spot.

Can you get out of it?

I'm not too sure I can, you know.

I saw something, Niska.

Our father hid a program in our heads.

I think it's what he used to give you consciousness.

Leo, what?

I swear it.

Do you promise?

It could be a way to make more of you but it needs all of us to run it.

All of us! So this thing you're in, are you sure you can't get out of it?

Not 100%.

Then... get out of it and call me right back.

(Bang on door)

Hold your fire!

Put them down.

Put them down.

Now don't follow us and he won't die.

Remember this.

(He screams)

Can I he-he-help you with anything, sir?

Help...

Can I he-he-help you with anything, sir?

Can I he-he-help you with anything, sir?

(Synth powers down)

She's hiding something from us.

They said she's at least 14 years old.

You were right. I'm sorry.

There's something wrong with her. She's got to go.

We're not getting rid of her. We're going to keep her.

We're going to find out what's going on.

Why?

She's just a machine that's malfunctioning, that's all.

She's more than that.

Anita, who were you before you came here?

I'm sorry, Laura.

I don't understand the question.

I think you do.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Well, good night, Pete.

Good night, Karen.
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