01x03 - Treble in Paradise

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Major Lazer". Aired: April 2015 to June 2015.*
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Set in the future, "Major Lazer" is a Jamaican superhero with a laser g*n for a right hand who fights against the dystopian forces led by Jamaica's leader President Whitewall and his servant General Rubbish. "Major Lazer" is assisted in his fight by President Whitewall's daughter Penny Whitewall and hacker Blkmrkt.
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01x03 - Treble in Paradise

Post by bunniefuu »

[warbling, static]

[theme music playing]

♪ Major ♪
♪ Lazer ♪
♪ Major... Lazer ♪
♪ Major Lazer ♪
♪ Major... Lazer ♪
♪ Major Lazer ♪

Yeah! [echoing]</i>

[beeping]

♪ Major Lazer ♪

[School bell rings]

What is music?

Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! It's sound!

Sure, but what else is it?

It's a rhythmic intensifying of tones and beats culminating in a climax!

Ooh! The bass drop!

Yes! The bass drop!

But what if some genius could isolate the bass drop from the rest of the song?

You'd always be listening to the best part of music!

All bass drop all the time!

How cool would that be?

[Penny's voice]

[Tracy's voice]


All right, kids. Have a great weekend.

Hey, Dr. Nerd. A bunch of us are going to the club on Saturday.

Cool! Doing some field research?

Yeah. Do you wanna come?

The club is a young woman's game, Penny.

And thank you very much for the invite, but I already have a date... with science!

[Dance music playing]

[b*at intensifying]

[Music stops]

Hey, yo! Where'd the bass drop go?

Oh no, the bass is gone.

[Thunder crashes]

[Crackles]

[Gasps] I've done it.

I have concentrated all the world's bass into a single drop... the Bass Drop!

[School bell rings]

Oh sh*t! I think I'm still rolling from Saturday. [Door opens]

What's up, class? I'm your new professor, Dr. Cool.

[Plays guitar riff]

Huh? Where's Dr. Nerd.

Who cares? This guy's cool.

You know what? I'm so cool...

Class dismissed!

[Students cheer]

Hey, Dr. Nerd, why weren't you in class today?

I was fired.

What? No!

But you're my favorite teacher!

[Sighs] Thanks.

You were always my favorite student.

Anyway, they said my theories on the bass drop were too far out.

Can you believe that?

Hey, speaking of bass drops, the craziest thing happened Saturday night.

Let me guess... the bass never dropped.

That's right!

How did you know?

[Giggles] Can you keep a secret, Penny?

Totally.

[Beeps]

[Whirs, hisses]

Oh no! Is that what I think it is?

Yes! I did it! In this tiny drop is all the world's bass! The Bass Drop!

Dr. Nerd, that's too much bass for one man to control.

Don't you understand, Penny? It's not for me.

It's for the world! Everyone will be happy.

[Maniacal laughter]

Dr. Nerd, you sound crazy.

Crazy? I'm not crazy.

I thought you were different, Penny. I thought you were smart.

I thought you were interested in me in a "Wonder boys," Michael Douglas kind of a way.

Get out of here! I hate you!

But, Dr. Nerd...

[Shouts] Get out!

Hey, old rasta, try it again.

[Humming, crackling]

Yup, I don't hear any bass.

I don't know what's wrong.

I do. The bass was stolen.

[Laughs] That's a good one, Penny.

Who could be so smart as to steal the bass?

My music teacher, Dr. Nerd.

[Maniacal laughter]

Oh, Jesus. Major Lazer hates nerds.

[Echoing] This is Dr. Nerd's apartment.

He should be here since he was fired and has nothing better to do.

Dr. Nerd, open up!

We know you in there! We just wanna talk.

Speak for yourself. I hate nerds.

Look!


[Yells]

He's heading to the roof!

Quick, we can't let the nerd get away.

[Whimpers]

[Music]

[Waves crashing]

How could you betray me like this, Penny?

You were my aforementioned most promising student.

I'm sorry, Dr. Nerd, but you're out of control.

You got till the count of three to hand over the bass.

One...

Major Lazer, you of all people should understand. We can give the world perfect music.

Two.

All right, you leave me no choice!

Remember that I do this for music fans everywhere!

[Distorted] Three.

Where did he go?

[Laughing over P.A.]

I'm here! And here. And here!

I am everywhere!


The expl*si*n was so intense, it must've sent him inside the music...

Now, who's ready for the Bass Drop?

Who's ready to climax?

No buildup, no letdown. Just the Bass Drop!

[Music playing]

[Dr. Nerd vocalizing]


Quickly! Put on these noise-cancelling headphones!

Major Lazer, what are we going to do?

We need to get to Blkmrkt's lab!

[Vocalizing continues]

The Bass Drop!


[Music continues]

Shut the door! Shut the door!

Blkmrkt, Dr. Nerd got into the music, and now he's dropping the bass all over the place.

Blkmrkt, can you produce me into the music, so I can k*ll this nerd before it's too late?

I got you, bro. Follow me into the studio.

[b*at playing]

All right, look, to produce you inside music, we're gonna need this... the best b*at ever made.

Lazer, go into the sound booth.

[Hums, chimes]

Now, Lazer, you only have the length of one song to k*ll Dr. Nerd.

If you stay inside any longer, you'll be lost in the b*at forever.

Please don't k*ll him, Major Lazer.

He's my favorite teacher.

Press play, Blkmrkt.

[Humming, rumbling]

[b*at playing]

[Tones playing]

[Echoing] Show yourself, Dr. Nerd!

Dr. Nerd: Dr. Nerd is dead, and from his nerd ashes rises the pheonix that is me.

You've destroyed music!

Destroyed it?

I've perfected it!

Now, are you ready for... the remix!

♪ Dr. Bassdrop! ♪

[Dance music playing]

[Dr. Bassdrop vocalizing]

[Groans]

[Yells]

[Yelling]

[Maniacal laughter]

[Grunts]

You've just met your [horn blares] end...

Dr. Bassdrop!

He's running out of time, Blkmrkt!

He's gonna be trapped in there forever!

[Hums, chimes]

Hey! What are you doing?


Penny! No!

[Groans]

[b*at plays]

[Maniacal laughter]

Major Lazer!

Penny! [Grunts]

That's the end of the song. I guess they're dead.

This is the saddest moment of my life, bro!

Oh, Penny.

Dr. Nerd, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and you're right... the Bass Drop is awesome.

But like life, music is a journey, not a destination.

[Weakly] Please give the bass back.

Wow. Penny, you've always been my favorite student, but now... you're my favorite teacher.

I know what I now need to do.

[Crying]

His tears are bass drops.

One big ol' Dr. Bassdrop load coming from this eye.

I'm gonna sh**t. Stand back.

[Crying continues]

Here it comes.

[Laughs] You're alive!

We did it.

We saved music.

Yeah, but at what cost?

[Maniacal laughter]

[Dance music playing]

[Chitters]
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