04x20 - Till Dress Do Us Part

[bunniefuu]

Bonnie: Oh, my God.

It's beautiful!

Isn't it beautiful?

It's so beautiful.

And so... white.

How many times have you walked down the aisle?

Exactly.

All right, now I need you guys to keep my dress here.

It's bad luck for the groom to see it before the wedding.

What are you gonna do about all the other stuff he's seen?

Why do you think he asked me to marry him?

Okay, Ben, guard this with your life.

You got it, all right.

You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Oh, my God! Whoa, whoa!

Aah!

Well, that was close.

What is the matter with you, Ben?

I'm gonna put this in my room.

Here.

(Dress rips)

(Theme music playing)

♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
♪ can take your life and change direction ♪

If anyone ever speaks of this, they'll be going to a wedding, and a funeral.

I'm doing this for mom.

I'm doing this for the Internet.

Hey!

Danny, stay!

God, I just can't believe your mom's getting married.

Again.

Before me.

And me.

What? I have dreams.

Yeah, so did I.

Who did you dream about marrying?

It'll come to you.

So, the first thing Ben has to do is take a paternity test.

I mean, but it's pretty obvious she's his.

Same smile. Same ears.

Same little sparkly fleck of yellow in the iris.

What?

Do I have something in my nose?

I know you guys think that's funny, but it's not.

You like Ben.

What?

No, that's insane. I tormented the guy every day of my life.

Holy crap, you really do like Ben!

I just can't stop thinking about him.

Ever since he came back into my life, all of these old feelings from high school just came bubbling back up.

Only this time, I think maybe he'll notice me now.

You know, I'm not "Ri-Gantor" anymore.

I'm not the fat girl that used to sit on his head.

So, what'd you think?

I think you did a pretty amazing job.

We did a pretty amazing job.

Okay, me.

Did you have fun tonight?

I actually did.

My only regret: I didn't get to dance with the maid of honor.

Well, the night isn't over yet.

Ben Wheeler, you are a dead man!

Riley, you're okay!

No, no, no, I am not okay!

By the time I finally realized that you ditched me, I was in the Bronx. The Bronx, Ben.

I had to beg people for money who were already begging people for money.

Look, I have no idea what your whole plan was, but this is officially the worst birthday ever!

Okay.

Officially the best birthday ever.

I'm not moving too fast, am I?

Ben...

We've spent the last 20 years getting to know each other.

It's not too fast.

I like the way you think.

In fact, maybe we should move things into your room, and we can move too fast there?

(Knocking)

Just a second!

Come in!

Ben... aah!

(Screaming)

Angela, what are you doing here?

Well, it's pretty clear what you think I'm doing here.

And I thought you were fast the first time.

What are you doing? The shoes stay on! You've got this all wrong!

But you said you wanted to start over?

That wasn't for you!

That was for... Riley! Aah!

Aah!

What is going on here?

Riley, it's not as bad as it looks!

I can't even...

Riley, no, wait!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Please, it's all just a big misunderstanding!

Obviously I was in there waiting for you!

Naked?

Well, in the spirit of you showed me yours, I thought I'd show you mine.

All right.

And, open your eyes.

Oh, my God!

Are you serious?

Well, you said you felt safe there.

This is my way of saying you'll always be safe with me.

How did you even get this up here?

Blood, sweat, and a lot of Danny.

And now, may I offer you a glass of...

I managed to remember the tree house, but actually forgot the wine.

I'll be right back.

I can't be in a relationship where I'm constantly questioning everything.

I always feel like I'm in second place.

Wait...

Are you breaking up with me?

Because that's not fair! I didn't do anything wrong!

Can you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you don't have feelings for Danny?

But, I spent my whole life being in love with you.

I mean, I never even had a minute to think about how I feel about Danny.

Maybe it's time you did.

And maybe, we take a time-out while you do.

Ben...

I'm sorry, Riley.

I just... I don't know what else to do.

I love you, but...

Something just doesn't feel right.

Okay. And we are done.

Well, you may be done, but I still have to tell my mom that Danny looks better in her dress than she does.

Stop it.

Your mom is going to be a beautiful bride.

Not as beautiful as you'll be one day.

I've been in love with her ever since she first climbed into my tree house.

I kinda just always thought she was...

The one.

But, she's never gonna see me that way, and I'm done.

Well, honey, I am proud of you.

I'm just glad I never actually told her how I felt.

Could have lost my best friend.

Well, you didn't, and you're moving on.

Yeah. I just don't think we'd ever be the same if she knew.

If you are satisfied with your message, press one.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

You must've hit Riley's number when you took that picture!

That is not possible. Give me that.

(Phone beeps)

Message sent.

Mom!

Come on, Danny, please wake up!

Riley...

Oh. And, I think he's back.

Danny.

Riley!

Oh!

Oh!

Hi, good morning.

Sorry, I didn't know you were here.

Nothing happened.

I just slept over. Like, as in sleep.

Whatever. It's cool.

I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?

You and Ben, Ben and you. It's just like a dream come true.

Hey, guys, crazy night, huh?

What happened to you?

You and Riley kind of just disappeared.

I decided to make a bold and decisive move.

I got Amy's name tattooed on my wrist.

What! Are you serious?

What do you think?

Honestly, I don't think Amy's gonna like it.

I'm really sorry about Riley.

Don't be. It's all good.

Riley might think she found her knight in shining armor, but I know how this story ends. With me.

I'm her prince charming.

Then, to your happily ever after.

(Bottles clink)

Is everything okay? Is something wrong with Emma?

No. She's fine.

It's you I was worried about.

Oh, Danny, I'm fine.

Why are you still in your tux?

Because I don't believe in giving up on dreams.

Oh my God, Danny...

This is so sweet, but...

I'm not finished.

(Music plays)

I don't know what to say.

Say you'll dance with me.

Wait, I almost forgot the most important part.

That is not the most important part.

You always being there for me is.

You really are the best friend a girl could ever ask for.

Okay, let's get you out of this.

She's coming!

Get it off me, get it off me!

I'm trying!

Five, four, three...

(Shouting)

Go, go, go!

Two...

Oh my God, what a surprise!

(All talking)

Get off me you bunch of weirdos!

Hey, here, Riley. It's your bridesmaid dress.

Oh, and will you be my bridesmaid?

I need somebody pretty enough for the pictures, but not too pretty to steal my spotlight, so...

Good idea!

Hey, Riley, let's go try it on at your place, huh?

Oh, that's going to be fun!

What?

So fun!

Okay.

Bye.

Whew.

I have bad news.

Oh my God, Danny, did you rip it again?

No. I knocked over the mouthwash.

Oh...

At least it's something blue.

I don't know, I think scrubbing it is making it worse.

Maybe that's because I said not to scrub!

Dab, Danny, dab!

That is our only hope!

She's beautiful when she's angry.

Really? 'Cause I just see angry.

Then again, I'm not the one who's in love with her, you are.

Please tell me I'm not really watching you hit on Riley?

Is it insane to think that she could ever like me?

If she did, I'm sure she would have given you a sign.

Hey, Ben, the law firm that I'm interning for is having this big party, and we all get to bring dates.

If you're asking me, it's an unqualified yes.

If that was just general information, have a great time.

I was asking.

I'd love to.

Great.

And that is what we call a sign.

Thank you so much for getting the tickets. That's so sweet!

I can't believe we have our own compartment.

That is so...

Just like you, because there's only one bed.

Why is there only one bed?

And what exactly did you think was going to happen in this one bed?

I'm sure it's just a mistake.

I had nothing to do with this.

Ah, Mr. Wheeler, the bed's been made up just as you requested.

Sounds like you and the Mrs. have quite the romantic night planned.

Romantic night?

I don't know where he'd get such an inappropriate idea.

From your email?

Ben Wheeler!

I told you this train wasn't going to sextown!

God, you have a one track mind.

Get out. Get out, get out, get out! Oh, God, both of you!

You were supposed to make up the bed after dinner.

It's dinnertime somewhere.

(Tango music playing)

Hey, we're pretty good together.

I'm starting to believe that.

So then, we agree. It's best if we break up for good.

Yeah, I...

Wait, what?

Well, you were right.

I mean, this...

This was a mistake.

I think I loved you for so long, I actually willed you into loving me back.

You know, I just took you along for my ride.

And the truth is...

We'll always be better as friends.

You agree, right?

Yeah.

Friends, totally.

Ben, oh my God...

Ben, what are you doing here?

I'm not allowed to have boys over.

Riley, you can't run away from home.

Well, run away to home...

From your home. Whatever.

Riley, you can't run away from me.

Ben, haven't I done enough damage...

(Both screaming)

You have now!

Deep down, there's no one more competitive than Riley.

She tries to keep it under control, but you know what?

I think we owe it to Ross to show him what's really inside that super cute exterior with those beautiful eyes, and that kicky haircut.

You really aren't over her, are you?

Not even close.

Well, I don't see any more blue, so feel free to throw the word "genius" around.

I need my dress.

Mom!

Is it in your room?

Uh, no! Don't go in there, Emma's sleeping.

Okay. All right, I'll just come back.

Where is it?

I put it on the fire escape.

Or, I did put it on the fire escape...

Oh! Oh, now I see it.

(Horns honking)

(Tires screeching)

(All gasp)

Well, we could dye it black.

You know that way she has something to wear to our funerals when she kills us.

Brad won't notice. I mean, that dude is clearly blinded by love.

I love love.

I do too.

I just wish it loved me back.

Someday you'll find a guy who truly appreciates you.

A guy who can look in your heart and know what you're thinking.

Yeah, okay.

Well, this fort was everything to me.

I mean, when I was up here, everything was perfect.

I didn't hate my mom, I wasn't fat, I had friends.

You had Danny.

Well, he was enough.

Hi.

What the hell is going on?

What's so important that you have to interrupt my date. Twice.

Oh, okay, calm down.

I just came here to warn you that Robyn is just using you as a rebound to get over her ex.

I know. I'm fine with that.

We talked about it last night.

Seriously, what's going on?

How come every time I have a girl in my life you get overprotective and weird.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do!

You kind of act like a jealous girlfriend.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

That's what friends do. They protect each other.

No, friends are supportive.

But you with...

With Milena, and Amy, and Georgie, it's like no one's ever good enough for me.

I just care about you.

If you cared about me, you'd stop doing whatever the hell this is.

Danny, I just...

What?

You got feelings for me now?

No. Exactly.

So, let me get back to my date.

Danny...

What?

I do have feelings for you.

Oh, my God.

What's happening right now?

Why can't I just tell him that I like him?

Wait, wait...

Wait, are you saying that you finally realized that you like Danny?

Well, congratulations!

You're officially the last to know!

No. No, actually, Danny is the last one to know.

And Tucker, I have to tell him.

I will not keep my feelings bottled up this time!

Hi, I really need to talk to you.

Now? I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Oh, come on!

If I don't tell you now, I think I'm gonna explode.

Okay. Go ahead, I'm ready.

Danny, (inaudible) ..

(Crowd yells)

I didn't totally get that.

Danny, (crowd yells again) ..

One more time.

(Crowd yelling)

I think I'm in love with you!

(Crowd still shouting)

Really? Are you sure?

I mean, I don't want to say anything to change your mind.

Because, you know, I like what you're saying.

Riley, I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember.

I know.

I'm just so glad that I finally figured out...

(Buzzer sounds)

Wait, what do you mean, "you know"?

Well, last year, I heard that voice mail that you accidentally left, saying that you'd been in love with me for your whole life.

Man: Wheeler, let's go!

Okay, okay! I really think they need you.

You knew?

You knew all this time, and you didn't say anything?

Danny, I didn't know what to say.

So, you just left me hanging out there like an idiot?

Did my feelings mean that little to you?

Man: Wheeler, come on!

Okay, I'm coming!

No! No, no, no, no, no!

Danny, Danny, wait! Danny!

I can't even begin to tell you how many times you broke my heart.

Get off of me!

I'm here now! That has to count for something!

It doesn't.

Danny, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Well, the girl I've loved my whole life never would have treated me this way.

I don't even know who you are?

Danny! Danny!

Ugh.

Tucker, ugh.

It's the universal sign for someone in distress.

And not making eye contact is the universal sign for leave me alone, I am blowing stuff up.

Danny is completely avoiding me.

God, I just want things to go back to the way they used to be.

(Music plays)

Whoo, we did it!

We found almost the exact same dress at the bridal store.

It's white, it's poofy, it's perfect.

Oh, here she comes!

Everybody look nonchalant!

All right, I need help picking the cake, and I thought you guys...

Aah!

Oh, my God!

Oh my God, mom!

No!

Oh...

But we took such perfect care of it!

Mom, don't worry, you're gonna have a beautiful wedding.

And you're gonna be a beautiful bride no matter what you're wearing.

Well, then it's a good thing I'm not wearing that dress.

I just found a way better one online.

(All yelling in disbelief)

So, I'm probably gonna be the next one to get married, right?

Haha, not a chance.

Yeah, right.

(All disagree)

Call me.

I guess I pick Tucker.

Just kick back, relax, and let Tucker do the climbing.

Hey, babe. How'd you sleep?

I'll let you know after I get some sleep.

I don't know what it is. Katrinka and I just fit so perfectly together.

I'm Tucker Dobbs, and I think you'll find me just right.

You don't want to sleep with me?

I never said that.