03x07 - The Best Laid Plans

[bunniefuu]

The accessories by Luca line is going to be put on hold.

Previously on "Mistresses"...

This polyamorous stuff can be tricky, especially when you're the third.

You know yesterday when you mentioned my mother coming for a visit?

Me and my mom... we don't get on that well.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You've got a boyfriend?

It's Ellis.

You're Ellis' girlfriend?

His mistress, actually.

Uh, I don't understand.

How c...

W-why?

I'm sorry. I probably should've told you before.

Yes.

Telling me you were Ellis' mistress prior to our sleeping together would've been helpful because it would've prevented the... the sleeping together.

Which is why I didn't tell you. I needed this to happen.

What... sorry. What? Y-you needed?

Ellis and I are in the middle of a thing.

He's been all about the wife lately, taking me for granted, but it's hard to rattle that guy when he's so annoyingly confident.

That's why you were the perfect person.

Yeah, no... no, sorry. I'm still not following.

You rattle him.

I...

So, what? Wait. You... you planned this.

I've been toying with the idea for a while.

Not as a pure revenge thing, but, you know, obviously, I'm attracted to you, too.

It was kind of a win-win.

I meant for me.

Did it, at any point, occur to you that I might lose my job over this?

That won't happen. He'll be pissed, but he'll get over it.

He needs you, Harry. Trust me.

Yeah. Well, trusting you is no longer an option, Niko.

And you cannot... cannot... tell Ellis about this, right?

[Chuckling] Harry, we work at a restaurant in which the entire staff watched us leave together.

I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands.

I wasn't sure of exactly your size, but we can exchange it.

I love it, grandma! Thank you!

Lucy, five-minute warning.

Mom, can I please, please, please stay home today?

From school? No way!

But grandma's only here for two days.

And we'll have a special dinner together tonight.

You can even wear your new dress.

Now, let's get a move on, young lady. Get your stuff.

Thank you.

Welcome.

Oh!

I have something for you, too.

Oh, Mom, you didn't have to do that.

Can never have too many.

Sure, especially not when you sell them in your own store.

Well, if you all would excuse me, I had a long drive, and I-I just want to freshen up.

So, what are you ladies up to today?

Well, I don't know what she's doing, but I have to work.

The store isn't gonna open itself, Marc.

All right, Lucy! Let's go! Now, now, now!

[Keyboard clacking]

Don't you ever sleep?

I log in my five hours.

That's all I need.

Of course it is.

[Groans]

Good morning.

Good morning.

Where's Vivian?

Her sister went into early labor.

She drove down to San Diego to be there for the birth.

Oh.

When is she coming back?

A few days.

I'm sure she'll call when she gets there.

I should probably get going.

Dinner tonight?

Oh. I-I can't. I have my poker game.

You play poker?

Not very well.

It's my attempt at a social life.

Tomorrow night?

[Sighs]

Sure.

Great.

I'll pour you a cup of coffee before you go.

[Sighs]

♪

[Exhales] Sorry I'm late.

Calista: I am so sick of this!

I want you out of my house now!

It's not your house, baby.

You know what... in fact, after what you did to me, I'm taking it all...

The Paris apartment, the loft in Soho, the vineyards in Ojai.

You're delusional!

Yeah, well, we'll see what the courts say.

Good luck with that.

I don't need luck, 'cause I got the facts... you and Wilson.

What, you thought I didn't know about that? Huh?

And unlike you, I got the pictures to prove it.

You're bluffing.

Mm? Yeah. You know what?

We'll see.

Are you okay? Just breathe.

How much did you hear?

A lot. I'm sorry.

You and Wilson? Calista, why didn't you tell me?

Because it's embarrassing.

I know what a huge hypocrite that makes me look like, and I didn't want it to affect the way you see me.

Hello? I'm Joss. I don't judge.

It was after Luca's second... second... affair, and I felt stupid and I felt sad and alone, and Wilson was... he was there, and he was... he was kind.

You really don't have to justify yourself to me.

Breathe.

Just... this is insane!

I know.

This is insane!

Okay.

He's the one that did this!

I know.

He's the one that ruined this marriage!

Just...

He's the one.

And... and I'm gonna have to pay for it!

Okay, just...

We don't know that yet, okay?

You're probably right. He's probably bluffing.

If he had that kind of evidence against you, don't you think he would've used it by now? Right?

[Sighs]

Maybe. Maybe. Probably. Yeah.

So it's your word against his.

I mean... Unless...

You don't think that Wilson would testify against you?

No, no, no. Wilson loves me.

More than my husband ever did.

Just breathe.

♪

And then she gave me this candle... cinnamon and clove... which is seasonal, which means she just had it lying around.

So, she's just spending the day at your place... Alone?

Well, what can I do? I have to work.

Things get really busy around lunchtime.

Look, I get it.

After what happened between you two...

Let's not even go there.

I wasn't going to, but you did invite her.

Because Blair thought it would be a good idea for Lucy.

Then make it fun for Lucy. Give them a chance to bond.

You have to at least look like you're making an effort.

[Gasps] I have an idea.

Why don't you, Alec, and Vivian come over for dinner tonight?

That might take some of the pressure off.

You're gonna try to explain my relationship to your daughter?

Hell no.

But I wouldn't mind watching my mom's head explode while I try explaining it to her.

[Chuckles] As much as I'd love to help you with that, uh, Vivian's out of town, so it's just me and Alec.

Just Alec and me.

Is that a problem?

It shouldn't be, but it is.

Being alone with him... I don't know.

It kind of feels like I'm cheating on Vivian.

I have no idea how to give advice in this situation.

That's okay. I have no idea how to be in the situation.

[Joss sighs]

Men are the freakin' worst.

What happened now?

Is it Harry?

No, it's [Sighs] Calista.

She's just... she's going through a really hard time, and I feel awful for her, you know?

[Clears throat]

What?

It's just hard to feel too bad for someone who owns a yacht.

She time-shares the yacht.

What about the team of racehorses?

Ladies, money does not buy you happiness. Trust me.

You don't know her like I do.

She's... she's funny and she's super-generous, and... oh, my God, the crap that her husband is putting her through... she doesn't deserve it.

I wish that there was something that I could do to help.

Joss, I am the first to agree that lying husbands are the worst, but other than being there for her, there's not much else you can do.

No. I refuse to believe that. There's always something.

I wouldn't get too involved if I were you.

You don't really know these people.

Something tells me she's getting involved.

I don't blame her for not listening to me.

I'm dating a married couple.

[Sniffs]

Oh, my God! This candle smells delicious.

Do you sell these here?

What?

[Indistinct conversations]

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're not... you're not supposed to be in tonight.

Uh, this is true.

You know.

I do.

[Groans]

So, Niko...

Is officially working at the SLS as of, uh, three hours ago.

Ellis transferred her to one of his other restaurants.

He did indeed.

Which means he knows.

Goes to follow.

[Exhales deeply]

So, now what... I'm supposed to go... kiss the ring, apologize for something I didn't even know I was doing?

No. I-i-it's absurd.

Maybe. Although a little ring kissing never hurts.

Forget it. I'll just quit.

I'll get a new gig, b*at him to the punch.

[Chuckling] Yeah, sure you will, buddy.

Might have to be in Utah, but I hear the skiing there is nice, so that's a plus.

Oh, come on. He doesn't own every bloody restaurant in this city.

No, just half of them. And his friends own the other half.

[Sighs]

But, you know, if you were, like, Rachael Ray, then he couldn't touch you.

What are you talking about? I'm nothing like Rachael Ray.

Well, you're both appealing in your own different ways.

My point is, if you market yourself, brand yourself like those celebrity chefs, then you'd never have to answer to some corporate sleaze like Ellis Boone.

You'd always be your own boss.

H-how does one become a brand?

You need an agent.

And I happen to have slept with an assistant to one of the bigwigs at imaginative talent agency... twice.

Really?

An assistant?

Hey, they're the real kingmakers.

If you want, I can make a call, see if her boss would sit down with you.

[Thud]

Yeah, yeah. Make the call.

[Laughter]

[Laughing] I could not believe they were in my court.

Oh, and, grandma, did I tell you Garrett Winterbaum asked me to a party next weekend?

Wait. Who's Garrett Winterbaum?

[Sighs] I'm not even sure I want to go, but my friend Becky, she was on my camping trip...

You went camping?

Yeah, Mom took me.

I thought you hated the great outdoors.

I don't hate it. I just prefer air-conditioning and mattresses.

It was supposed to be a punishment.

Ohhhhh.

Now, that makes more sense.

All right, little people, pajama time.

Are you kidding? It's so early.

Well, you need to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow.

I was thinking that maybe the three of us can go to Zuma beach and have lunch at Malibu country mart.

Are you serious? I can skip school?

Only if you finish all of your homework and get to bed before 10:00.

Done.

[Laughs] Get out of here.

Can I come, too?

Oh, I wish you could, sweetie, but your grandma's coming in from Florida to pick you up tomorrow, remember?

Now go put on your pajamas, and I'll help you finish packing.

He seems like a sweet boy.

He is.

And the mother?

Uh... [Clears throat] Is his mother.

Hm.

Tomorrow's gonna be fun.

Thanks so much for doing that.

♪

Hey, hi.

Hello.

Calista, if you're cleaning out your closet, I will happily take this off your hands.

No. I need to find something to wear on the plane.

The plane? Where are you going?

[Sighs]

New York.

I'm moving back home.

What?! No! Calista, you can't just give up like that.

Oh, I'm not giving up. Don't forget how we met.

For months, I've been trying to catch him screwing around, and I can't do it, so the best I can hope for at this point is 50/50.

Unless... You do catch him.

Mnh-nnh-mnh.

What if... You knew exactly when and where Luca was gonna cheat next?

That would be a miracle. Miracles are for poor people.

What if he cheated with me?

What are you s... What are you saying to me?

Okay.

What if I got Luca in bed long enough for us to catch it on camera?

Like, two minutes tops.

Look, I-I...

Thank you. It's very generous.

I-I'm not comfortable with this, and Luca will never go for it.

I mean, even he is not that stupid.

Well, I think he might be, 'cause I, uh, caught him checking me out last week.

I know.

It's disgusting, but I just... come on.

I really... I think we can use this to our advantage, you know?

Why would you want to do this for me?

Because I-I really think it might work.

Let's just try it.

Let's plant the bait and see if he bites.

And if he doesn't go for me, I will help you pack.

You're one twisted sister.

That's part of my charm.

[Cellphone chimes]

[Gasps]

♪

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

Hey, Alec, it's me.

I'm so sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to make dinner tonight.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I just completely forgot that I signed up for a shift in the E.R.

Oh. No problem.

How about lunch?

My next patient isn't till 2:00.

I'd love to, but I still have a ton of discharge papers to get through.

I'll call you later?

Sure. Okay.

Okay.

[Exhales deeply]

Marc: Check her dopp kit.

[Sighs]

That's where I used to keep mine.

Travel-size bottles of Jack and Maker's mark fit perfectly next to those little shampoos.

I know how this looks.

No need to explain.

There's nothing here.

That's a good thing, right?

Marjorie: Good morning, everyone.

Are we ready to hit the beach?

Oops!

[Sighs]

[Chuckles]

Now?

[Door rattles]

[Loudly] I still don't understand why I can't go with you to New York.

[Loudly] I told you a thousand times...

I already have a team in place.

So, what? Where does that leave me?

[Sighs] I don't see how that's my problem.

So, what? You're just gonna drop me with zero notice whatsoever?

I thought we were friends.

Now you're just being a child.

And you're being a selfish bitch.

Okay, you know what... get your stuff, and get the hell out of my house.

We're done.

Oh, hey.

[Sniffles]

Don't let her see you cry.

[Sobs]

I just...

You don't understand.

I gave up all my clients. I dropped them all.

I gave her everything.

Yeah, that's Calista for you.

I just feel like such an idiot, you know?

I have... I have bills, I have rent.

What am I gonna do?

Oh, you'll be fine.

[Sniffles]

Beautiful girl like you? Hmm?

You're gonna have plenty of opportunities.

[Inhales deeply]

Maybe I can help.

Yeah.

We're just waiting for an answer, so hold tight.

Just give me a second.

I will make that happen for you, Dan.

Absolutely.

Fantastic.

Talk soon.

I'm listening.

Ah, right.

Okay, well, uh, I'm... I'm Harry Davis.

Oh, we don't have to do the handshake... germs.

[Chuckles]

So, you're Harry the chef.

Yeah, that's right.

I-I think my friend Marc knows your assistant...

You have five minutes to pitch yourself, and then I'm leaving for my pilates class.

Uh... W...

[chuckles]

Well, I didn't actually prepare anything. I...

- Four minutes.

Okay, well, I was the head chef, uh, and owner of Savannah's kitchen.

Actually, we closed a little over a year...

Let me stop you. I'm not interested in the past.

It's not important. Why are you here now?

Uh...

I was told you might be able to...

Make me famous.

Why do you want to be famous?

I don't, actually.

But I-I do think that I can be more.

More how? What have you done besides open a restaurant?

Two restaurants. Wunderbar is also mine.

Really?

Yes, I'm the head chef... uh, currently.

It's... yeah.

Why does Greta Jager's picture come up when I type in your restaurant?

Yeah, she opened it, but, um...

So she'the name.

Which is what I'm trying to change.

Yes, but how?

Do you write reviews? Have you written your own cookbook?

No and no.

So, besides being gorgeous... which is a start... what's your thing?

Uh...

[Sighs]

[Cellphone ringing]

When you figure it out, call me.

[Ringing stops]

This is Ari Greenberg.

And staying in downward dog...

That's it.

Press through your heels.

[Doorbell rings]

[Woman continues talking on TV]

You couldn't go to lunch, so I brought lunch to you.

That's very thoughtful of you, but...

And into chair pose.

That's good.

And on your knees.

I was... Just taking a quick break.

Are you avoiding me, Karen?

[Sighs] Maybe a little.

I mean, I do have to work tonight, but...

Can I come in?

I don't know if you should.

My meatballs are dripping.

Your what?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Pretty sneaky way to get past a woman's front door.

Oh, yeah.

The old dripping-meatball trick... works every time.

I'm sorry. I should've been honest with you.

I understand.

I don't know what we're supposed to do when Vivian's not in town, either... or... or allowed to do.

Exactly.

We probably should've talked about it before she left, come up with some rules.

I guess we could've learned a thing or two at that poly party.

Oh, I learned plenty.

Unfortunately, none of it prepared me for this particular moment.

Me neither.

But I don't think avoiding each other is the answer.

Bring any pasta with those meatballs?

[Children shouting playfully]

The kitchen had these antique fixtures dating back to the turn of the century that your mother thought were boring and that needed a pop of color.

So she bedazzled them by supergluing the knobs with sequins.

No way.

One fixture. One door handle, not all.

Ll, that's not exactly w I remember it, but okay.

When can I come see your new house?

Well, you're always welcome.

Both of you.

It's hard for me to leave the store right now, but I'll look at the calendar.

I can go alone. I'm old enough to get on a plane by myself.

Let me think about it.

She always does that.

I don't always do anything.

You find some reason to say no.

Why can't you look at a calendar right now?

Uh, look at the time.

If we don't get out of here, we're gonna miss our mani-pedi appointment.

Lucy, what are you getting?

I don't know.

I hear that orange is the color for spring.

Ooh! Orange.

[Exhales deeply]

Okay, he's gone.

[Exhales deeply]

Oh, my God.

I mean, we should've sh*t the rehearsal.

I totally could've gotten him there.

The man massaged my shoulders.

Yeah, sounds like he really took to you.

I knew this was gonna work. I told you.

What? I'm a genius.

Can you stop smiling so much?

Hmm?

Actually, your whole attitude is... is really off-putting.

Um...

I'm sorry. Are you mad at me or something?

I just don't understand why you're so into this.

I mean, it's almost like you're enjoying the fact that my husband practically assaulted you while I'm still in the house.

Okay, I'm not enjoying any... I'm...

Oh, I'm... I'm doing this for you... to help you.

Really? Why?

Are you really worried about losing your job?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Um, this has absolutely nothing to do with losing my job, Calista.

I... I don't want to lose you.

I already lost my sister, you know?

And you've... you've become a really important person in my life.

I like having you around.

I like having you around, too.

I'm... I'm sorry. I'm re... I'm really sorry.

I was just pissed.

You know, it's hard to see Luca go after you like that.

I get it.

And I-I should've... I should've been more sensitive.

You know, if... I-if you don't want to do this, I completely understand.

No, screw it.

Let's get the bastard.

You have to try this ribollita.

It is the best I've had since I lived in Tuscany.

Mmm.

Mmm!

Huh?

I had no idea you lived abroad.

There's a lot of things about me you don't know.

I'm a man of mystery.

Is that so?

All right, maybe a man of not so much mystery.

But I did do a semester abroad when I was at Duke.

Amazing.

For a minute, I really thought about just staying in Italy, dropping out altogether.

Why didn't you?

Wasn't brave enough.

[Cellphone rings]

[Clears throat]

Hey, sweetheart.

Yeah, how's Gwen?

Great.

Yeah, I'm in the office.

Yeah, could I... could I call you back in 10?

I love you, too.

Bye.

I don't know why I just did that.

I've never lied to her before.

I know.

You were right. I-I shouldn't be here.

I have to go.

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Knock on door] Yo, Harry?

Dude, your front door is wide open.

Did you know that Mario Batali has his own line of shoes?

I take it your meeting went well.

No. Not really. But she was right.

All these guys, they all have a thing.

Whether it's cronuts or cookware, they all put their name on something besides their food.

That's what I need to do.

I am so up to this task. I got a ton of ideas.

None of them food-related per se, but I'm happy to work within a theme.

Uh, well, that's... that's good to know, mate, but we're not quite at the invention stage yet.

I'm still just trying to figure out a way to get my name out there.

You ever think about teaching a cooking class?

That's what Rachael Ray did.

[Chuckles] You're obsessed with Rachael Ray.

Well, she looks like this and she cooks.

What's not to like?

You know what?

Hosting a cooking class is not a terrible idea.

Maybe I can could get Joe Zee to tweet about it.

Oh, I'll tweet, too. I've got like 30 followers at least.

Sure.

[Inhales deeply]

Yeah, I could probably make some time for that in a few weeks.

In a few weeks, Ari won't remember your name.

You need to strike now, while things are hot.

Host an impromptu class, post the details on a few social-media sites, and call Ari, ask her to come... maybe even send flowers.

Really? Flowers? That's a bit much, isn't it?

It shows initiative.

Why would anyone even come to a cooking class on such short notice?

That's what social media is for...

Bored people looking for free things...

And/or sex.

Free sex being the best.

Okay.

Cooking class it is.

[Laughter]

[Sighs]

Lucy, can you unpack the trash in the cooler, please?

Oh, let me help you.

I don't want you getting your nails messed up.

Too late. They're already chipped.

Oh, no.

Don't worry about it, honey.

I'll get you a polish change.

This is Edith Parker, Lucy's English teacher.

Just wanted to touch base regarding the midterm Lucy missed today and her options for making it up.

Please call me at your earliest convenience.

[Beep]

Lucy, did you know you had a midterm today?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Mom, I can just make it up. It's not a big deal.

It is a big deal.

Why didn't you tell me you had a test?

Not telling you something isn't the same as lying.

What you did to me with dad was way worse.

Little girl, you have officially played that card.

If you don't want to find yourself grounded, get upstairs now.

[Departing footsteps]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Whoa, whoa.

Left, left.

No. Up, up.

You need to go up a bit. Wait, no, left, left.

L-l... no, too much left. Back to right.

My left, your right.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, right, right, right.

Right.

Yeah, yeah! Perfect, perfect, perfect!

Okay.

[Sighs]

Oh, there's a cellphone under the bed.

Leave it!

Leave it!

O... Kay.

Uh, if that's all you ladies need, I'm...

Aah! Wait! What happened?

Uh-oh.

Uh, contrary to popular belief, the, uh, shake method is ineffective.

Well...

I'm gonna have to check the router.

Do I know where my router is?

You don't even know what a router is.

T-try the, um... the closet down... downstairs, Okay.

Where all the... all the electrical thingies are.

Do you mind?

No, no.

Okay, and there's money in the office drawer for him.

Okay.

Joss: Is it working?

Yep! We're on!

Need any help?

I'm almost done. Thanks.

Okay.

You know, I was talking to Lucy, and she really does feel bad, so maybe you could ease up on her a little?

Mom, we had a nice day. Let's not mess it up, okay?

I understand why you're upset.

I do. But...

I think you're making this into something bigger than it needs to be.

Of course you think that.

Nothing is ever a big deal to you.

Well, that's not true.

But according to your daughter, everything is always a big deal to you.

Wow.

And that, honey, is just adding to the tension that you two already have.

You know, maybe if Lucy did come and spend a couple of days with me, it would give the two of you a break, you know?

That is not gonna happen, okay?

And you know damn well why.

I'm never leaving my daughter alone with you [pot slams] ever again.

You can't be serious.

You can't still be punishing me.

I am not punishing you!

That was a mistake.

It was an accident that happened over five years ago!

Driving drunk with a toddler is not an accident.

It is a felony.

But I guess those rules don't apply to you.

Okay, you're above the law, right?

For you, it's just another "no big deal."

For the millionth time, I wasn't drunk. I had two glasses of wine with dinner.

I'm not having this conversation with you.

What conversation?!

You have a drinking problem, and the fact that you still don't see that?!

I can't see what isn't there.

You know what?

I thought that you had finally moved past all this nonsense.

If you still feel that way, why did you invite me?

Truthfully, it wasn't my idea.

And as far as I'm concerned, you have no place in my home.

Now, you need to start with a, uh, a good base.

Can anyone give me an example of a-a good dressing base?

Like, when y-you go to a restaurant, and they give you vinegar and...

[Breathes deeply] Olive oil.

Okay, that was a tricky one.

I thought we were gonna learn how to make your soufflé.

Soufflé?

Yeah, that's what it said online.

Did it?

Also said there'd be wine.

[Chuckles]

[Inhales sharply]

Uh...

[Clears throat] Uh...

You know what?

To be a great chef, you have to master the basics first.

I used to work for a brilliant guy who would ask interviewing chefs to perform one skill.

You know what that was?

To fry an egg... a perfect, simple egg.

Start with the basics.

In fact, you know what? Everyone roll up your sleeves.

Let's get into this. And I'll need a volunteer, please.

Uh [Chuckles] you can go next, sir.

In fact, you, young lady... you look like you need to get your hands a little dirty.

Come on up.

And you can, uh, leave your phone there.

Why not?

Yeah, just those two bags.

Don't tell me you're leaving without saying goodbye.

Going back to New York for a while.

Yeah? With your tail between your legs?

See you in court.

[Sniffs]

[Breathes deeply]

Mm.

[Sighs]

I know you've already made up your mind, but I just have to say, I think what you're doing is crazy.

Please don't start. Please. I'm already nervous enough.

Of course you're nervous. What your "friend" is asking...

Okay, don't say "friend" like that. She is my friend.

A real friend would never ask you to prost*tute yourself.

First of all, she didn't ask me. It was my idea.

And I'm not actually gonna sleep with the guy.

That's not the point.

If I was doing this for April, you wouldn't even bat an eyelash.

But you're not, because April would never let you do this.

[Sighs]

I'm just... Nervous, that's all.

I don't know this guy at all.

I don't know what he's capable of.

I promise you nothing is gonna happen to me.

[Knock on door]

I can take care of myself.

Something is so wrong with my phone.

Uh, the texts aren't sending.

There's bad reception in the lobby.

Have a good night. Here. Let me get you the wi-fi password.

You look incredible.

Ohh.

Luca's gonna die when he sees you.

There. You're all set.

[Sighing] Yeah.

Thanks.

Thank you so much for doing this.

You're welcome.

We're gonna nail him.

Okay?

Mm.

I'll meet you back here when it's done.

[Sighs]

[Engine turns over]

[Sighs]

[Vehicle departs]

Why didn't you tell me about the accident?

[Sighs] Oh, sweetie.

Because I remember... pieces, anyway.

Like the sirens and the hospital room and grandma.

But it's all so blurry, like it happened to someone else or a TV show or something.

I wish that were the case.

So, why didn't you just tell me?

Sometimes the hardest thing about being a parent is deciding what to shield your kids from.

And, obviously, I haven't always made the right decisions, because look at us, Lucy... look at where we are.

All I wanted was to give you a childhood, not force you to grow up so fast... to hold on to the good memories of your dad and your grandma.

Because you know what?

I never had that luxury.

[Sighs]

And I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. [Inhales sharply]

But I'm doing the best I can.

I love you, Mom.

[Sighs]

[Crying]

I love you, too, sweetie.

[Sighs deeply]

Go for the cookies.

How'd you know that's what I wanted?

'Cause I know what you like.

♪ Mama's gonna give you love ♪
♪ mama's gonna give you love ♪
♪ mama's gonna give you love ♪

[breathing heavily]

♪ give you love, give you love ♪
♪ oh, boy, boy, you're a heartbreaker ♪
♪ I'll tell you everything, it'll be all right ♪
♪ Mama's gonna give you love ♪
♪ mama's gonna give you love ♪
♪ give you love ♪

[Inhales deeply]

Thank you.

Thanks.

Yeah, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.

See you, guys. See you next time.

Oh. Yeah, selfie. Love a good selfie.

[Camera clicks]

Good on you, mate. Cheers.

Ari.

So lovely to see you again.

Don't tell me you want to get a picture, too. That's fine. Come on.

You're not impressive enough for my instagram.

[Chuckles]

Yet.

Ah. So there's hope.

Maybe.

Drink?

You really love cooking, don't you?

Well, yeah. Of course.

You say it like it's obvious, but most of the people I work with, there's no passion... not for the food or the art form.

Maybe they started out that way, but by the time they get to me, it's all about the merchandising... the celebrity.

Well... I like to eat.

Me too.

And you know what?

I actually had fun tonight.

I had some fun.

And fun is something my life has been needing of late, so thank you for lighting a fire under my ass.

Get used to it.

Oh, yeah?

To the beginning of a... beautiful friendship.

Cheers to that.

This was...

Unavoidable, apparently.

Just say what you're thinking.

I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't tell Vivian about this.

Oh, I don't know if I can do that.

I... I can't lie to my wife.

Can't lie to my wife again.

I've never asked you to lie.

Well, you just said...

I'm just [Sighs] saying what I'm thinking.

I don't know if it's right. I don't know what's right.

Neither do I.

I just don't want to make her feel bad or... hurt.

Would you be hurt...

If she and I slept together without you?

No, but...

It's different. Yeah.

I think so. I don't... I don't know...

Can it be my decision?

Whether or not we tell Vivian?

[Sighs]

Sure.

Thank you.

[Door opens, closes]

Yo.

Hey.

How was Harry's teaching debut?

Nailed it.

How'd it go with your mom?

I noticed her car wasn't in the driveway.

She... went home early.

You were right. I shouldn't have asked her to come.

Well...

[Sighs] Why did you?

Because Blair thought...

Right... Blair.

He made a lot of good points, and I thought maybe...

But the fact is, he didn't have all of the information, so it's not his fault.

Well, why didn't you give him all the information?

Because we're still so early in this relationship... or whatever it is.

I don't need him knowing my dirty laundry.

That's what my friends are for.

Yeah.

But the thing is, April...

You were the one who was right.

I went to take out the trash this morning...

And it made this weird clanking noise.

Buried underneath the empty box of chicken nuggets...

[Sighs]

I wasn't sure if I should show you.

Is it possible to be completely not surprised and yet so disappointed?

Yeah.

That's about the rub of it.

♪

[Breathes deeply]

[Doorbell rings]

[Sighs]

Hi.

I'm... I'm sorry to bother you this late.

Ah, it's no bother at all.

Jessica?

Josslyn.

Josslyn.

That is such a pretty name.

Thank you.

Come in.

You know, I think I may have left my phone here.

I... I can't find it anywhere.

Oh.

What's your number?

Hm?

So I can call it.

Oh. Good idea.

[Chuckles lightly]

You are a lifesaver.

[Cellphone ringing in distance]

Mm. I can hear it.

It's upstairs.

[Inhales deeply]

After you.

[Ringing continues]

[Ringing continues] Ah.

Hmm.

Well... [Grunts]

It, uh, must've fallen out of my pocket.

Hm.

You and Calista still in a fight?

Mm, you can't fight with someone who won't take your calls.

Aw, that's too bad.

You know, I have a fantastic way you could get back at her.

Well, aren't you helpful.

I try.

Mm-hmm.

♪

Why don't you try harder?

[Exhales shakily]

Ah!

Mm. Hey.

Hey, wait, wait, wait. Come here.

Where?

Come here.

Where?

Here.

All right?

[Chuckles]

You are feisty.

Mm.

I like that.

[Both breathing heavily]

Oh, just one second.

Huh?

Just one second, one second, one second. Hold on.

Oh, come on.

Just wait, wait.

Just give me one second. I just need to freshen up.

Just... let me just freshen up really quick.

What?

Yeah.

Don't keep me waiting too long.

I won't. I won't. I promise.

[Door locks]

Ugh!

God.

[Keypad clacking]

Come on, come on.

[Cellphone clatters]

[Sighing] Oh, God.

Come on, Calista.

Luca: Everything okay in there?

[Groans softly]

Be right out!

[Water running]

Luca?

You've got to be kidding me!

Hey, don't move. I'll be right back.

W-what's happening?

Luca?

Luca?

[Breathing shakily]

Aah! Unh!

[Breathing heavily]

[Gasps] Oh, my God!