01x06 - The Biscuit Eaters

Episode transcripts for the TV miniseries "The Spoils Before Dying". Aired: July 2015 to July 2015.*
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"The Spoils Before Dying" is about a pianist-turned-detective investigating a m*rder in the 1950s underground jazz scene.
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01x06 - The Biscuit Eaters

Post by bunniefuu »

You made it. The final episode.

The thrilling end to my lost masterpiece, The Spoils Before Dying.

I'm Eric Jonrosh, writer, musician, wino.

If you think tonight's subject matter is somewhat tame by today's vulgar standards, try and remember I originally sh*t The Spoils Before Dying in 1959.

Those were different days.

Jazz and art and sexual freedom was under att*ck from all powers.

Artists like Arthur Miller and Tennessee Williams made veiled attempts to speak to the evil being done to the human soul, but they lacked the raw courage I had.

If Tennessee Williams had written what was really on his mind, he would have been thrown out the country, as was I.

I was exiled from my own country.

I financed my movies with my own money and I went broke doing both.

Where am I now? I can't find a job.

I can't sh**t a commercial in this town.

A commercial for cat food, anything.

They won't let me touch a camera.

But then, perhaps they are right.

If they gave me a cat food commercial, I would turn it, if not into a work of art, then at least something approximating an illumination of the human soul, a reminder that life is to be lived, loved and enjoyed.

L'chaim! To life!

Is that what that means? Hmm.

Hey, PS: That's who I am.

Rock voice-over: My name is Rock Banyon, and I have been accused of m*rder.

For three days, I've been looking for a golden cigarette case to clear my name.

Was it hidden in an old tenor sax case?

Or was it in a sculpture once owned by Adolf h*tler?

I found the saxophone.

Now all I needed was h*tler's sculpture.

[gasps]

Salizar! What happened, buddy?

I don't know.

I came, maybe to find my cigarette case.

Let me guess: a crazy doctor stuck a long needle in you, then off you went to Looneyland without a map.

Yes again, my friend! It was terrible.

You're lucky to be alive.

[groaning] Very lucky!

Salizar!

Do you have my cigarette case?

I don't figure you into all this, Salizar.

It was a very special cigarette case.

That case was very important for our family.

It was made specially for my grandmother by the F.W. Woolworth Company.

F.W. Woolworth?

When my grandmother was dying, I came to her and she handed me the cigarette case and said, "Salizar, you must guard it with your life."

I didn't understand.

She told me it was a gift from Mr. Woolworth himself.

From the F.W. Woolworth Company.

F.W. Woolworth gave your grandmother a cigarette case?

Oh! No, of course not!

She slept with an American businessman and he gave a two dollar cigarette case!

Oh.

And I lost it to Stygamian in a poker game.

You weren't looking for what was inside the cigarette case?

Inside? [laughs]

[gurgles]

But you knew the cost. Why'd you care?

You live for the truth, Rock Banyon.

I live for the lie.

Salizar!

[grunting]

Stay with me, Salizar.

Salizar! Salizar.

Farewell, Salizar Vasquez Saint Germain Vasquez Deleon.

Rock voice-over: I felt bad leaving the Mexican Salizar dead in the casa of horrors, but there wasn't much I could do for him now.

But there was a hell of a lot I could do for myself.

[whispering] F...W...Woolworth...

Company!

Rock voice-over: I raced up to my cabin to meet up with Delores and Alistair.

I had the sculpture, and Delores was bringing the saxophone case.

Who k*lled Fresno and Stygamian?

It wasn't me, I knew that.

Somewhere, hiding in that sax case, or the sculpture, was the identity of the real k*ller.

Time was running out.

I sat down to read the latest Eric Jonrosh novel about two hippie bikers looking for kicks in Mexico called The Spoils Over The Border.

Not his best, but it passed the time while I waited for Delores and Alistair.

Brr! Baby, it's cold outside.

I dare say, old bean, you sure know how to throw a party!

What's with all the cloak and dagger business?

I was beginning to worry about you two.

Did you bring the saxophone case?

Got it right here, Rock.

Okay.

There's some biscuits on the table if you're hungry.

Biscuits!

And a spot of brandy. Don't mind if I do!

Hey, if we're gonna have brandy and biscuits, looks like we're about to have...

both: briscuits!

[harp and flute music]

♪ ♪

Item number one: Wardell's saxophone case.

Every saxophone player has a hidden compartment.

He was supposed to deliver something to Stygamian, something he got paid a lot of money for, but Bebop stole the case, hoping to cash in.

[speaks while mouth full]

Are you choking?

Here.

It's like a paste, it turns into.

[swishes]

Bebop Jones.

Yeah.

Bebop got Wardell k*lled, and then the K*llers caught up to him.

Whatever's in this envelope, a lot of people d*ed for.

What is it, Rock? Open it!

Photographic negatives.

It's a group of naked men in some sort of sexual activity.

This one's of a famous American actor.

Is that a garden rake?

It's a whole bunch of actors, politicians, novelists, Olympic gold medalists, the police commissioner?

These were taken in that secret room under Stygamian's house.

They were blackmailing Stygamian and his friends.

If these pictures got out, it could ruin lives.

But why k*ll Stygamian? Why not blackmail him?

Stygamian must've had something dangerous on these blackmailers, something more dangerous than pictures.

Perhaps it's hiding in that hunk of art over there.

Go, go.

[gears whir, latch unlocks]

Looky there!

Salizar was right. It's a beauty!

I mean, for a cheap cigarette case of the F.W. Woolworth Company.

It's the n*zi swastika.

I mean, it predates its usage in h*tler's Germany, but it's known to mankind as the tyrannical symbol of repression and fear.

Open it, Rock.

Aw, that scotches it.

It's in German. Anybody here speak German?

Let me take a cr*ck at it.

Okay, uh, "Eich...bein...herlacher."

Eich..bein...my bike... her locker... my bike and her locker...

Oh, who am I kidding? I don't speak German!

I dare re-re-re-re-say let me give it a cr*ck.

Yes, it says, "Friends of the Reich."

And then right here, it goes on to list hundreds of names.

There's a section called "Amerikaners".

It's a virtual Who's Who of American leaders.

Senators, generals, industrialists, tennis stars, Errol Flynn-- the list goes on and on.

Isn't that the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation?

"J. Edgar Hoover."

And there's a star next to his name.

I can't ask you two to go any further on this ride.

Well, I already bought my ticket, Rock.

Ed on megaphone: You in the cabin!

Rock Banyon!

You have ten seconds to come out, or we start sh**ting.

Let's make a deal!

Ed: No deal!

We want the book!

We should just give them the book, Rock.

We give them this book and we're all dead.

What's it going to be, Banyon?

No deal!

The book is my way out of here!

[g*n sh*ts]

Would this be a bad time to mention that I booked you at the Western Sound Studios tonight for a string section?

I didn't agree to no string section.

[g*n sh*ts and breaking glass]

Rock! As your agent, it's my duty to impress upon you that doing a strings album won't ruin your career as an artist.

In fact, more people than ever will hear your music.

That's a sell out and you know it.

[g*n sh*ts and breaking glass]

Look, Alistair, I don't expect you to understand.

Most people wouldn't.

But when a man dedicates himself to his art, there's only one person he has to answer to, and that's himself.

And that's not pride, It's not selfishness.

It's not arrogance. It's a higher power.

It's a su1c1de pact with the truth.

That's right, Alistair, the truth.

Now for the last couple of days, this town has shown me men who are scared to be who they are, hiding in the shadows, knowing only the twilight because their truth is too dangerous for a world that does not accept the truth.

The men in that German book, the powerful Americans, they secretly collaborated with the Nazis, and now they're among us, ruling our lives making sure we will never know who we are, making sure that we hide in the shadows, making sure that we don't know our truth.

Guess what, though?

I'm a jazz musician, and music is my truth!

It's the highest vibration.

It's freedom.

You put strings on my music and you might as well put me in the gas chamber.

Somebody's gotta fight.

Might as well be me.

[g*n sh*ts]

Ah!

Oh!

You pick up that g*n and you're dead!

I'm warning you. I'm a cr*ck sh*t!

How do you want to play it?

You tell your boss, Mr. Hoover, I've got his book, and if he wants it back, he's gotta meet me at Kenton Price's beach house.

I'll tell him.

You take care, now.

[car starts]

Bye, now.

Toodle-oo!
Delores: Oh, Rock. Can't we just go to a part of the world where no one ever goes?

You can play the piano and I can make cakes and pies, and sing a little, and no one will ever find us.

What do you say?

Got 'em on the run, lover.

For the first time, I'm calling the sh*ts.

You two take the back roads out of here.

I'll catch up with you later.

Where, Rock? Where?

I don't know, lover. I don't know.

But I will.

I love you, Rock.

I don't know how or which or when or where or when it happened, but I know that I do.

Save it, cupcake.

You save it for later.

We'll have all the time in the world for lovemaking then.

All the time in the world?

And more.

Rock voice-over: J. Edgar Hoover k*lled Wilbur Stygamian.

He k*lled Fresno Foxglove and Wardell, too.

All because they knew he had been collaborating with the Nazis during the w*r.

He thought he could push around a bunch of h*m* the way he pushed everyone around.

Wilbur Stygamian pushed back with h*tler's secret book.

Hoover k*lled him to get the book.

Now I had the book, and it was my turn to push back.

Sit down, Mr. Banyon.

You've done your country a great service.

I know who you are.

Yes. I am the boogey man, J Edgar Hoover, and you have something that belongs to me.

How do you figure that?

I made a trade for it and I want it.

Stygamian's book, huh?

The one with your name in it?

Yes. I made a deal.

A trade for some photos I had.

Photos I believe you have seen.

Yeah, I seen 'em.

I was going to expose the Hollywood h*m* community to the world, because it is my duty as an American.

But Stygamian discovered you were working with the Nazis.

Of course, I collaborated with the Nazis.

h*tler was right.

The strongest societies are built on fear and repression.

After the w*r, I cleaned up Washington DC.

I kicked all the communists and the h*m* out of our government.

Hollywood was next.

Don't you understand, Mr. Banyon?

America can be strong if it can be policed.

And who's policing you?

People who like their jazz with strings?

Would it surprise you to hear I like my jazz with strings?

[chuckles]

I want my book, Mr. Banyon.

While American GIs were dying for this country, you were helping h*tler.

I want that book!

You're never getting that book.

I want that book!

I'm not giving it to you.

You hand it over now.

I give you that book, and there's no stopping you.

That book is the only thing between you and your twisted ambition.

I give you that book and a lot of lives will be ruined.

I just can't let that happen.

Then I guess you'll have to join your friend, Fresno Foxglove.

[g*nshots]

[two g*n sh*ts]

Ah!

Good work, gentlemen.

You should clear out, Mr. Hoover.

You can't be seen here.

I must leave at once. Is he dead?

They don't come any deader.

That man has something of mine.

No time, sir. You must leave now.

The book!

You don't want your name mixed up in this, sir.

We'll take it from here.

[sirens wail]

Don't delay.

Skedaddle, sir.

I'm leaving.

It's an honor to have met you, sir.

[sirens continue]

[Jazz music plays]

♪ ♪

Dizzy: Hey, Rock.

Remember, it's about three things.

all: Vibrations.

Vibrations.

Vibrations.

[dramatic music]

Did it work?

[chuckles]

He bought it, all right.

Chip: He bought it.

Rock Banyon is dead.

And I can vouch for that.

Biggs: You know what this means, right?

No more jazz piano for you.

You're a whole new man, without a country, without a name.

Why'd you do it? Why'd you help me?

We knew Hoover was behind the murders, but we couldn't figure out why.

No one from the mayor down would let us work on it, so we used you.

Like an old pair of pants.

Ah, the pants are back.

So what do you do now?

Go after Hoover?

[scoffs], J. Edgar Hoover?

No. We are no heroes.

So why not just k*ll me?

Why not let me take the fall for everything?

Frankly, I wanted to. Thought about it a lot.

Still not against it, but he wouldn't let me.

Why the soft spot?

Chip: One simple reason.

No man should live in fear.

You...wouldn't happen to be ho-mo-sexual, would you?

You take that back.

This is Chip Donwell you're talking about, a real man's man.

You have any idea how much time this guy spends at the health club?

Why, I've never seen him with the same woman twice.

Out with the fellas, he's the leader.

He's a real top bear.

Tell him, Chip. Tell him you're not.

I think you'd better get going.

[sighs]

You'll need these.

Also have these.

Thank you, thank you.

Believe this belongs to you.

Guard it like your life depended on it.

Who did it, Rock? Who k*lled me?

The world k*lled you.

The world always kills the artist.

See you around, lover.

Good-bye.

[sniffles]

See you later, Rock.

Au revoir, Rock.

Think you can do it, Rock?

Think you can give up the one thing you love most?

What makes you think I have?

Hey, Rock.

Now, go get her.

♪ We had true love ♪
♪ But then what's true? ♪
♪ That's how I am ♪
♪ That's me ♪
♪ Without ♪
♪ You ♪
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