01x06 - The Legend of Spooky Dookie

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Major Lazer". Aired: April 2015 to June 2015.*
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Set in the future, "Major Lazer" is a Jamaican superhero with a laser g*n for a right hand who fights against the dystopian forces led by Jamaica's leader President Whitewall and his servant General Rubbish. "Major Lazer" is assisted in his fight by President Whitewall's daughter Penny Whitewall and hacker Blkmrkt.
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01x06 - The Legend of Spooky Dookie

Post by bunniefuu »

[Phone camera clicks]

[Music]

♪ Stay with me for a while ♪
♪ Run away on the tide ♪
♪ Nothing lasts like your smile ♪
♪ Wherever we have been... ♪

Who are you?


Girl... I'm your worst nightmare.

[Grunts]

[Heart b*ating]

[Heartbeat stops]

[Theme music playing]

♪ Major... Lazer ♪
♪ Major... Lazer ♪
♪ Major Lazer ♪
♪ Major... Lazer ♪
♪ Major Lazer ♪
♪ Major Lazer ♪


[School bell rings]

Hey, where's Ray Ray?

Bitch, didn't you hear? She fell asleep and never woke up.

Really? That's weird.

Yeah, no sh*t. Speaking of sleep, I'm finna take a nap right now.

Take notes for me.

Now class, as some of you may know, Ray Ray d*ed in her sleep last night.

[Gasps] And there's a rumor going around town that her heart was stolen by Spooky Dookie.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Who's Spooky Dookie?

Well, I'm glad you asked, Penny.

Spooky Dookie was the most sensitive student ever to attend Jamaica High. Every girl loved him, but his heart only belonged to the one they call "La Bonita." So, the night before prom, Spooky Dookie had planned this super romantic date at this totally chill waterfall on the edge of town. He was going to profess his love for her with a song. But, La Bonita dumped him out of nowhere and started dating a jock. Now, legend has it, ever year, on the anniversary of his breakup, he enters the dreams of teenage girls and steals their hearts, just like his heart was stolen.

Whoa.

But, I'm here to tell you that Spooky Dookie isn't real, Ray Ray d*ed of natural causes, and this will be the sickest prom ever.

All right, your homework for tonight is to go to sleep like normal, because everything is normal. [School bell rings]

Hey, come on, Tracy, let's go. Tracy?

Tracy! Wake up! Wake up!

[Emphatically] Penny, don't fall asleep!

[Heart b*ating]

[Reggae music playing]

Major Lazer, Major Lazer, you have to help me!

Hologram girls, take five.

Wagwan, Penny?

Professor Doctor said that some creep named Spooky Dookie is going around k*lling girls in their dreams.

He's got Ray Ray and Tracy, and I might be next!

Oh, no. Spooky Dookie is back.

Wait, you know him?

Know him? I went to high school with him.

[Gasps] You were the jock that stole his girl, weren't you?

I'm afraid so.

Major Lazer, you have to help.

There's nothing I can do. Lazers don't work in dreams.

There is one thing you can do, though, but it's going to be dangerous.

I'll do anything! This isn't just for me.

This is for everyone that wants to go to prom.

Respect.

This is P.G. Tipps, and you're tuned in to plurtnet.

This next one goes out to all you lovers going to prom tomorrow.

Be sure to sleep, brothers and sisters.

This is going to be the best night of your lives.


[Electronic music plays]

Okay, I'm ready for bed.

Let's go over the plan again.

Okay. This chill dub track will put you into a deep sleep, and my dream translator will let us see everything that's happening on this screen.

And once I'm in the dreamworld, I'll find Spooky Dookie, and I'll grab him before he can seduce me.

Once you have him, we'll wake you up with these puppies, transporting you both back into the real world.

And my Lazer will take care of the rest.

Let's do this.

Good lucky, Penny. Or, should I say... Good night.
Major Lazer: All right, she's asleep.

[Gasps]

Now, where are you, Spooky Dookie?

'Sup, girl? What'chu up to?

You know, just dreaming.

This waterfall is an accumulation of all of my tears.

Wow, that's so deep.

I'm Spooky Dookie. What's your name?

I'm... Penny.

Damn, a "penny?" Nah, I don't think so.

You look more like a "dime" to me.

Oh no! Major Lazer, she's really falling for him!

I'm going to shock her awake.

No, Blkmrkt, not yet!

She hasn't made contact.

Nah, man, she can't resist him.

She is stronger than you think.

Blkmrkt, now!

Ha!

Blkmrkt, now!

Major Lazer, something's wrong!

Penny: Come on, Blkmrkt!

Do it again! Come on now, Penny.

It's not working, she won't wake up.

What are you waiting for?

Wake up, Penny! Wake up, Penny!

No! We lost her.

She's on her own. Godspeed, little girl.

Don't let that pretty boy steal your heart.

What's going on? Major Lazer, why am I not waking up?

Because this is your dream come true, baby girl.

Can't you see? You don't wanna wake up.

We're meant to be together.

Is that what you said to the other girls whose hearts you've stolen?

Nah, you're not like the others, Penny.

[Faint heartbeat]

Yo, can you hear that?

Yeah.

That's my heart, and it beats for you.

♪ Loving you there is no living on a drug ♪
♪ Loving you is neither low nor high above ♪
♪ If I meet you in my thoughts ♪
♪ In reality, we're core ♪
♪ Falling and falling, in love we're born ♪
♪ Before you think twice ♪
♪ Let your heart be next to mine ♪
♪ I wanna live in the basic grace ♪
♪ Now in the place of your fire ♪
♪ Please take my advice ♪
♪ Let your heart be led to mine ♪
♪ I wanna live in the basic grace ♪

♪ Now in the place of your desire ♪
♪ Loving you is nothing but bliss ♪
♪ All that we need is a day a time ♪
♪ And all that we miss, a hint of a kiss ♪
♪ Something we feel as we lose our minds ♪


[Heartbeats]

Ugh.

Thank you, Penny.

For saving me... from myself.

Peace out.

[Gasps] Whoa!

Penny, what happened?

Let's just say that Spooky Dookie's nights of stealing hearts are over.

Good work, Penny. Now, let's get you to the prom.

But, I don't have a date.

Uh, Penny, I'll be your date.

♪ Can I roll up with you? ♪

P.G. Tipps: Good evening, Jamaica!

[Music]

And what a beautiful prom night it is, my sisters.

The moon is out, and Spooky Dookie will haunt your dreams no more.

This is your brethren, P.G. Tipps, saying peace, love, unity, and respect.

Turn up!

♪ Can I roll up with you? ♪
♪ Can I roll up with you? ♪
♪ Can I roll up with you? ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
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