01x02 - Boys Aren't Nice to Her

[bunniefuu]

Jazz: Tonight on "I Am Jazz"...

I want to get rid of things like this.

No, don't throw it in the garbage. No.

My mom is having a hard time letting go.

You're my baby.

Jeanette: Because Jazz is transgender, my journey has been so intense with her.

There I go again.

We should invite some boys.

I don't know.

What? You? Boys?

Boys aren't nice to her.

I think the boys are getting the food.

Wait, what?

I think the boys are getting the food.

They're here already?

We're gonna keep you, little guy.

Greg: I consider us an ordinary family with some extraordinary circumstances.

I thought of it as an oddity.

I was devastated.

Jeanette: Jazz asked me, "what am I?"

And she would say, "Mommy, am I a boy, or am I a girl?"

This is my sister. She's a girl.

She's a girl.

She's a girl.

I am transgender.

Greg: We love her just the way she is.

I am a girl. I am an artist. I am Jazz.

♪

Jeanette: Sander, Griffen, Jazz, breakfast!

Greg: You got a grape in your mouth?

[Laughter]

Jazz: I do that every day at lunch.

I call it... the girls call me the squirrel.

You bring grapes for lunch? Since when?

[Laughter]

You look like the Easter Bunny.

[Laughter]

All right. So, we were thinking about this.

With Ari coming home in a couple of weeks, where's Ari gonna stay?

[Laughter]

On the couch.

You think that's gonna happen?

For the longest time, the twins have always been in the same room.

They had bunk beds.

But when Ari, our oldest daughter, went up to college, Sander moved into Ari's room.

But when she comes home, she's gonna be home for the summer.

Well, I'd rather not Sander move back in because that's just annoying.

There's no choice.

Yes, there is.

What's the choice?

He sleeps on the couch.

Okay, stop right there.

Sander and you are gonna be sharing a room.

No matter what?

No matter what.

But we can make it a nice room.

Is there anything you want us to do with respect to your room to make it more livable?

I say we should get some new furniture because all of it's breaking.

Jazz: Wait, you guys are redoing their room?

You guys have been promising me to redo my room for like two years.

Remember? It was, like, my birthday present, and we never got it done?

What's wrong with your room?

Right now, it's, like, halfway between little girl and teenage girl, and I really just want it to be...

Like, define who I am.

I want it to... transform with me, you know?

No.

No?

You're my baby.

[Laughter]

I am not happy at all about watching them grow up.

Stay little.

No! You can't grow up right now.

But my style's changing, so I'm...

I always say I want to put a pause button, like, this age.

Let's just stay right here.

Greg: What's wrong with your room?

My furniture. It's from, like, the depression, I swear.

[Laughter]

It's the dresser and that... What is that thing you call it?

Jeanette: An armoire. An armoire.

The armoire. I don't want an armoire.

Do you like the furniture itself, or you just don't like the colors?

No! The color is terrible, but I know you, Mr. Cheapo Man.

You're not gonna buy me anything.

Do you guys have any idea what it costs to raise a family of four kids?

And one's in college. Any idea whatsoever?

Do you even know what your cellphone costs a month?

You have any idea?

No.

Your cable TV?

Do you?

Gas, insurance on a car?

Sander: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I think you spoil us a little too much.

I think we're very generous.

I think you're very generous, to be honest.

Give an apology.

I feel so bad that I said that.

That was rude, and it wasn't very nice.

Sorry. I'm sorry, Daddy.

I respect what you do for us.

Okay. Well, let's move past that.

So, let's talk about your room and see if there's a happy medium that we could achieve.

We will figure it out together, okay?

Amen.

Hey, you guys got grapes all over my floor.

Okay, so, what?

Honestly...

There's a lot of work to be done.

These fairy wings...

You put those up.

Uh, no, I didn't.

Then who did?

The fairy. [Chuckles]

I want to get rid of things like this and buy new things.

Didn't you buy that recently?

No. You bought this when I was 6 years old, mom.

[Whimpers]

Like, I'm ready to throw it out right now.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, don't throw it in the garbage. No. Please.

My mom is having a hard time letting go of my little-girl room.

Just put it back for now. I'm not ready.

But I am also growing up, and she has to grow up with her baby.

Jazz: I want it to match my style.

Behind my bed, we actually construct an ocean.

I'll put the sand and glue it down.

No. Bringing a load of sand in here and gluing it down?

You made that thing there.

It looks like Santa Claus' beard.

What is that?

It was supposed to be a cloud, but it came... well...

You can throw that out.

This, I don't mind throwing out because it's really ugly.

Look at this bedding. That's, like...

What's wrong with flowers? There's flowers everywhere.

I like... Those are not my flowers.

These are my type of flowers.

I have a hard time parting with certain things.

It means growing up, moving on, and I'm just emotionally not ready to go there yet.

It's like, look at this. Look at this dresser.

This was Ari's room.

This is your room.

No, it's been there for 20 years.

No!

Because Jazz is transgender, my journey has been so intense with her, and because of that, it just solidifies the bond that I have with her.

So, that's why letting go is even that much harder.

Baby steps.

I can't completely digest doing it all at once.

It's hard for me.

[School bell rings]

Are you guys trying out for soccer next year?

I'm gonna try out.

You're gonna try out?

Uh-huh.

Oh!

I know.

My friends and I, after school, we like to hang out at the park, and it's just our time to really gossip and chill as friends.

These girls are gonna be going to the same high school as me, and I'm excited to be with them throughout high school.

We should all hang out soon.

Yeah, what do you guys want to do?

What about bowling?

I'm fine with that.

I actually haven't gone bowling in a long time, so...

Me neither. I haven't gone since I was, like, five, but I'm really bad at it, so...

We'll use the bumpers, all right?

[Laughter]

We should invite some boys.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm not sure if I want any boys to come at all 'cause you guys know it's hard for me with boys.

I've had a pretty rocky relationship with boys in the past.

This one time, this really cute boy liked me, and then, once he found out I was transgender, he started calling me "chick with a [bleep]" behind my back.

Being transgender has completely turned boys off from liking me.

I never really talk to boys, so I don't know how to behave.

I mean, you're friends with some of them.

Just be yourself. It's no different. Just be yourself.

My friends are always telling me that I just have to be myself, but it's not that easy.

Boys always say "hi" to my friends and hug them and not me.

I'm just, like, right there and kind of being ignored.

And sometimes it hurts.

You just have to, like, be yourself around them 'cause if they're real, then they won't really care about you.

They just like your personality.

Yeah.

Uh, so it's official? We're going bowling?

Yeah.

Of course.

I'm just so stressed out.

[Voice breaking] I don't know how to deal with it.

Jeanette: This whole bowling thing makes me nervous 'cause the boys aren't nice to her.

What do you want to do? How do you want to tackle it?

♪

So, Jazz wants a new room 'cause her room is, like, baby still.

Like, baby furniture from Ari.

It's, like, flowers and...

Ay, ay, ay.

You've got a lot of changes coming up.

When Jazz was younger, there were definitely people that looked at me strangely, whispered behind my back.

Like, that's so not Amy.

Amy is just, like, love, love, love.

And she loves our family and she loves Jazz and she knew... always knew that Jazz's heart and soul was that of a girl.

I can't believe that she's finishing middle school.

Where did the time go?

She's going into high school. Like, what am I gonna do?

Like, you know that in high school, it's all about, like, the social and the boys and the girls.

And I don't know if she's gonna be accepted the same way as she is in middle school when people start pairing off.

They're gonna start getting serious boyfriends or whatever, and she's gonna be like, "do you want to hang out?"

Mm-hmm.

You know, they're not gonna want to hang out.

And then she's gonna feel alone.

My biggest concerns about Jazz going to high school are the fact that she may not be a part of the social scene.

You know, people will be coupling off, and she may be left out.

There's not boys at age 14 going, "you know what?

I don't mind dating the girl that has a penis.

I don't mind dating somebody that's transgender."

And I don't want that... I don't want her to get hurt.

Do you remember, like, when she started displaying the signs?

Yes, I remember.

You remember?

She used to love doing cartwheels.

And she would wear dresses.

And I remember you hearing from teachers, "please, don't put her in dresses."

And how hard is that as a mother?

There was one day when she came up to me, and she said, "Mommy, what am I?" I said, "what do you mean?"

And she said something like, "am I a boy or a girl?"

I said, "well, what do you feel like?"

She said, "I feel like a girl."

And she said, "Mommy, can girls play sports?"

[Voice breaking] And I said, "girls can do anything you want to do."

Oh, there I go again. She was just so happy.

She was, like, twirling around and...

Oh, my God.

Imagine how she felt at that moment.

I'll never forget that... Looking up at me.

Every time I tell that story...

Like, I can't tell that story without losing it.

[Normal voice] Taking a deep breath.

Yes.

Breathe.

What do they do? Breathe? Meditate?

You need to start yoga.

[Chuckles]

Need to go back to yoga again.

I hate yoga.

[Both laugh]

♪

Jazz, I don't know where the yardstick is.

Jazz: Oh, the cat has a lizard.

[Whimpers] No.

Kitty, what are you doing? Let go.

We got this cat, Nemo.

And don't get me wrong... He is an absolutely great cat.

Stop. Don't hurt the lizard.

But he... He's very playful.

Anytime he sees something moving, he att*cks.

Jazz: Careful, Mom. It's right next to you.

No!

[Both scream]

[Sighs] Lizards.

Ugh.

So, tell me what's going on in your life.

What's the social scene these days?

Not much. I told you about bowling, right?

Not really.

Well, basically, a few of my friends are coming that you already know.

And then, uh, we're also trying to invite some boys.

What?

Some boys.

You? Boys?

Whose idea is it to have boys?

Not yours, right?

Not really mine.

Jeanette: I think when it comes to the opposite gender, it's complicated.

Jazz is not into the whole dating, boy-crazy thing, but then again, I think it would make her feel extra-special if somebody showed an interest in her.

Have you girls had any luck getting the boys to come?

We've invited a bunch, but, like, I know the girls that are coming, but I don't even know what boys are coming.

I think the reason that Jazz doesn't like hanging out with boys is because the boys aren't nice to her.

They don't acknowledge her presence.

They hug all her friends and then ignore her, and she says it doesn't bother her, but I think, deep down inside, it gets to her.

How could it not?

I don't know. I'm just so stressed out.

[Voice breaking] I don't know how to deal with it.

Do you feel like this bowling thing has kind of sparked some insecurities?

A little bit.

I just... I begin to question myself when people... when boys don't talk to me.

Is it because I'm transgender?

Can I really put everything back to that?

Or is it because of something different?

Is it because I'm weird?

Is it because they don't like me? Like...

I don't know.

I just... I don't even know why I'm feeling this way.

When Jazz is in a bad place, I try to just kind of listen, but this whole bowling thing... it makes me nervous.

I want her to be treated like all the other girls, and I wish people didn't look at her differently.

I worry for her.

What do you want to do?

How do you want to tackle it?

I don't know.

I'll just go bowling and see what happens.

So, I tried to invite like 10 people.

I got one bad response, and this kid blocked every single gay guy or gay girl on Instagram.

They have really good French fries here.

I think the boys are getting the food.

Wait, what?

I think the boys are getting the food.

They're here already?

Yeah.

Oh.

[Chuckles]

All right. Ladies, this is Nelson.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

That's Casey, that's Jazz, that's Taylor, that's Taylor, that's Brooke, and that's Rachel.

Jazz: There are only two boys at the bowling alley.

I thought more would show up, but in the end, there was only two.

Chris: So, I tried to invite like 10 people, but they all had baseball.

Like, Jenner had special Olympics.

Nelson: Well, they're missing out.

And Brandon had a haircut.

Haircut?

Yep. Haircut.

Doesn't that take like five minutes?

Nelson: Sorry. Haircuts are important.

Yeah.

I'm wondering if the reason why the boys didn't show up is because I'm here.

And I feel like everyone is thinking the same thing, but they're not saying it.

♪

Greg: It's kind of nice to go out on a date night.

Finally.

I thought you'd never take me out again.

I don't even remember the last time we had a date night.

[Chuckles]

Jeanette: Poor Greg.

He's an insomniac, and I'm a narcoleptic, and it makes for a bad match at night when he wants to talk about the day, and I am, like, already drooling on the pillow.

So, it's so nice to get out and go on a date with him, because then he's got my undivided attention.

Do I have green on my teeth?

Yeah.

[Both laugh]

You want to get that for me?

There's no way.

I'd need a toothpick.

So, um, Jazz is talking a lot about boy situation and...

The boys ignore her.

You're saying this is something that's a new situation for her?

It's been there, but it's getting worse because the girls are around the boys more.

Is she getting upset about it?

For a moment, she's upset, like, "this is really mean.

This is not fair."

And then she sloughs it off like she does everything else.

But it's got to hurt.

I'm just thinking when I was a kid about that age, I think guys that age are really just trying to figure things out.

I'm not saying they're bad boys or...

It's just... I don't think they want to be perceived as liking the transgender girl.

Any kids that might be questioning their own sexuality might feel like, "oh, my God.

If I hug Jazz, does that mean I'm gay?" You know?

How do you know that she's not, uh, oversensitive about it?

Or at least just perceives it that way?

It's nothing like we can pooh-pooh this and be like, "oh, it's just on your mind, in her head."

Because she's never had a boy hug her.

Greg: Jeanette can be very protective of Jazz, but I recognize that I can't really control everything that Jazz or the rest of my family confront.

I'm just worried about her, as always.

I still want them to grow, so if I put Jazz in a room and lock away the key, then she's not gonna be able to develop as an individual, and, you know, I don't think that would be the right answer, either.

Do I still have food in my teeth?

[Laughs]

Everywhere, right?

Every single one, right?

You have it in, like, three places.

I feel it. Is it green?

Let me get that out for you.

Oh, that's really lovey-dovey, Greg, right?

Every single one, right?

♪

Girl: Ah!

All: Oh!

Ah!

I'm so done with this. This is horrible.

I need to, like, take a seat.

Oh, lord. I'm just... I'm done.

I stopped looking at my balls. I'm like, you know.

The last four times I went, it was all, like, gutter.

Like, it was so bad.

Ugh. Everyone's so much better than us, though.

Yeah, I know.

I'm mad because, like, the boys that we invited... they were all being, like, rude about it.

Do you think it's because they don't want to hang out with us?

Or because of me?

I mean, they're just, like...

Maybe we should ask Chris.

If you want to, yeah.

All right. Let's ask Chris.

Jazz: Normally, I'm pretty good with letting things go, but when it comes to this bowling situation, I-I really want to know why the boys didn't show up.

Chris.

What?

Come.

Am I being interrogated?

No, it's good.

You're gonna get a detention. Just kidding.

No, I was just curious.

You know how a lot of the other boys didn't come?

Yeah.

Do you think it's because of the fact that I'm transgender and, like, they don't want to hang out with me?

I mean...

I had one bad response, and this kid's really, like... I don't know.

A transphobic?

Yeah.

He blocked every single gay guy or gay girl on Instagram.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, they should get to know me before they judge me.

Yeah, exactly. Like, you're a nice girl.

Because a lot of boys don't talk to me, like, at all, and they talk to all my friends, and they'll say hi to them and then I'll just be, like, standing there like, "oh, hey. What's up?"

You know what I mean?

You see it.

Yeah.

But, like, you could also, like, include yourself more.

I try. I do try to include myself, but, like...

But, like, if they don't know you...

I mean, most boys are not gonna, like, go out of their way to, like, know... not even because you're transgender...

To know, like any of them.

For some of my other friends, like, they do.

You know, they're like, "hey."

Like, they flirt with them and, like, not me.

And I just wonder, 'cause...

But it's just certain girls, like, put theirselves out more than others.

Jazz: When Taylor says that I don't put myself out there in front of boys, it really hurts my feelings because I just... I don't understand what she means.

Like, I'm just being myself, and does it mean that they don't like my personality and don't like me for, you know, just being who I am?

So, it makes me feel like maybe I'm just a bad person.

You could, like, have a conversation with them over text and just, like, text them "what's up?"

Like, "how's life?" Whatever.

Don't, like, try too hard.

Whatever.

Jeanette: Did boys come?

[Voice breaking] One of the boys was actually transphobic, and that's why he didn't come.

Seriously? I hate to hear that.

♪

Jazz: Ready to see my new room?

It's nice.

Wow.

Oh, my goodness.

It's awesome.

It fits me, right?

Great colors. It's cool.

I think, really, your room transitions with you, and I know it was really hard for my mom to have to see that my room is changing with me.

Might want to change little pieces around, but I think it looks pretty amazing.

This is also just an average teenage girl room.

You guys did a great job.

And that's what really, you know, makes it me.

Are we happy?

No more complaining about your room?

She might, in her mind, be like, "oh, I have a teenage/adult room now."

But I don't care what the room looks like.

She could live in a box. She could live in a palace.

She's still my baby.

So, we never talked about bowling.

Did boys come?

I mean, some boys came, but most of them didn't even show up.

Do you know why?

[Voice breaking] I asked Chris, and he said one of the boys was actually transphobic and that's why he didn't come.

Seriously? I hate to hear that.

It's moments like this that I realize I can't protect her forever.

I want to b*at up the bad guys. [Chuckles]

And then Taylor, she basically said it's because I don't put myself out there with the boys that much and I don't interact with them.

I just don't know what to do.

Well, I really think that you need to talk to your friends and find out why they feel you're not putting yourself out there and get to the bottom of some of this.

Here. Move over.

This is why I get so upset.

Like, I want to protect you forever and ever.

I don't like you getting older.

I just know there's gonna be more of this, and you might be like, "oh, whatever," but, like, I'm sad.

I don't want to hear that somebody doesn't want to go with you or be with you or be around you or go to a place where you're at just 'cause you're transgender.

Jazz: My mom has been my main supporter from the start, and I know she'll go from one end of the world to the next just to make sure that I'm feeling great and happy.

And I just... I love her so much, and I'm so lucky to have the best parents in the whole world.

I'm like, "why do I feel this way?"

Like, "why do I care so much that these boys don't accept me for what I am?"

Because you're being rejected in front of everybody, and you're human.

If you weren't getting so big and having to do all these boy/girl things, this wouldn't be a problem.

You're gonna have new encounters with new people, and we're gonna have to tackle things as we go along.

Yeah.

Anybody mess with you, they mess with me.

I love you.

Love you, too.

Mwah! Mwah!