01x06 - School's Out for Summer

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Mr. Robinson". Aired: August 2015 to August 2015.
"Mr. Robinson" centers on a rough-edged musician adjusting to his new life as a music teacher where he encounters teacher politics and the temptations of single moms.
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01x06 - School's Out for Summer

Post by bunniefuu »

What about you, Deandre?

What are you gonna be doing for summer vacation?

I'm going to the beach, yo.

♪ Girlies in bikinis, they all gonna be there to see me ♪
♪ I may invite Ms. Holly ♪

I'ma punch you in an alley.

Craig: All right.

Man, you guys come a long way from when we started earlier this year.

Okay, for your final exam...


[together] Boo!

We've never had to take a music test before.

You've never been in my class before.

Now, for your final exam, I want each of you to write an original lyric verse.

And if I find out that you took it from another song, I'm gonna fail you on the spot.

Can we take our verse from a song that already exists?

What's wrong with you, seriously?

Hey, Craig. What you doing?

I'm making one of those connect-the-dot maps you see on cop shows to track the evil genius.

Cool. Hey, we should team up.

We could call ourselves Sherlock and What's Up, Holmes?

First, that's crazy.

Second, I love it.

The end of the school year got me giddy.

Yeah, man. I like to call the last week of school "Jimmy Grah."

It's a combination of Jimmy and, um...

Mardi Gras.

No, Christmas.

But I pronounce it "Christmah."

That's weird-ah.

Well, I'm about to keep this party going.

I am figuring out the route for the Nasty Delicious summer tour.

Are you sure you don't want to hide that from me, Craig?

'Cause you know I want to go.

I want you to go.

I smell a setup.

Craig, I'm not going down again just 'cause you think it might be fun to knife a drifter.

Jimmy, I knew you'd find out about the tour, so I thought it'd be better to give an invitation than a restraining order.

That depends.

In fact, I want you to be our tour co-manager.

Now, that sounds awesome.

What kind of super cool things will I be doing?

Driving, setting up and breaking down equipment, human foot rest, sweat towel guy, you know, fun stuff.

I could also wrangle groupies and cut deals behind your back with seedy club owners.

I'ma rob you blind.



So who's my co-manager?

The man with the bus.

Good news, Craig.

I just increased the insurance on my TDX25 Astromega Touring Bus to accommodate all the funk we're gonna get into this summer.

Funk protection.

Who knew there was a thing?

And I just bought a new bass... two necks, no waiting.

For the funk.


Hey, Craig, since we're gonna be co-managers, maybe it's a good idea that we define each of our duties.

You do whatever he says, Jimmy.

Okay, cool, so 50-50.

Come on, Jimmy; I need you to lay under the bus while I back up, so you can check for any leaks.

Ah, the fun's starting already, man.

Hey, guys.

Want to go on our Nasty Delicious summer tour?

Ride in a bus with sweaty men to various carnivals?

Yeah, I've done that already.

Well, I am inviting everybody.

You became my family this year, and I thought it'd be cool if we all kicked it this summer.

I'd love to and probably would if Ashleigh was going, but I'm gonna visit Delhi this year.

Every couple years, my parents like to let me know what a disappointment I am, and it's my turn to go over there for the verbal stoning.

What about you, Ash?

Actually, I'm going to Paris.

Wow, me too.

I mean, I have a layover, and I'm sure the dates will coincide.

Ashleigh: I've had my best year ever flipping houses, and with the sci-fi convention in town this week, I am sure to make the extra spending money I need.

I have this Guardians of the Galaxy themed dance.

It's me, a pole, some CGI, and a raccoon.

I'd like to see that.

I'd like to be the raccoon.

Samir, haven't you seen Ashleigh dance yet?

Not outside of my head, no.

I heard her last performance, Robo Cop A Feel...

Won raves.

♪ I can feel the temperature rising ♪

♪ Uh-uh cocoa butter ♪
♪ You gonna need bikini waxing ♪

Shave it all off, girl.

Come on, y'all.

[together] ♪ Let me see your summer shake ♪
♪ I'm gonna make your booty quake ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ You gonna get to see the snake ♪
♪ Then I'm gonna make you a cake ♪
♪ Uh, let me make your summer shake ♪


[cheers and applause]

Curly, couple of beers.

You got it, Craig.

Craig, there are three gentlemen who would like to say hello.

Thanks, Shell.

Ralph Johnson, Verdine White, Philip Bailey.

From Earth, Wind, and f*re? Earth, Wind, and f*re.

both: Oh, my God! Ahh!

Okay. I'm good.

Al right, cool.

Mr. Earth, Mr. Wind, Mr. f*re, y'all my favorite band ever, ever, ever.

I can't believe my eyes right now.

Me too; I... I lost my virginity to Shining Star.

That's one of our shortest songs.

I only got halfway through it, all right?

Yeah, but man, we wanted to let you know you guys are really doing it up there, and you guys, like, got a lot of buzz.

We're looking for someone with your special talent to add to our band.

And we were wondering if you can join us on our year-long tour.

Oh, hell, yeah.

Not you. Just Craig.

Oh, hell, no.

What do you say, Craig?


Good morning, PT, Ash.

You're surprisingly not hungover for the morning after a gig.

That's because last night was no ordinary gig.

You will never guess who showed up.


He's d*ad.


It goes towards the whole "you'll never guess who showed up," thing.

I was invited to go on the road with Earth, Wind, and f*re.

What? What?

Craig, that's... that's incredible.

When did they want you to start?

End of the week.

They have a couple of shows here in Chicago, and then off to Japan to start a year-long tour.

But you signed a contract to teach next year.

I know; once I make up my mind, I get very indecisive.

I was wondering if you could tear that up now.

I'll tear it up.

But once I do, you can't come back.

I need teachers I can depend on, and so do these kids, so I am really tired of this one foot in, one foot out thing.

Do it. This is my lifelong dream.

Tear that bad boy up, up...


You are colder than an Eskimo's taint.

Tear it or not?

Make up your mind, Robinson.

Tear. Ah!

Tear. Ooh!

Can I have some time to think about it?

End of the week, jackass.

You happy for me, right, Ash?


Yeah, it's Earth, Wind, and f*re.

Thank you. So I should go.

I'm not saying that.

You're a great teacher.

So I should stay.

I'm not saying that.

You're a perfect, amazing musician.

What are you saying?

I'm saying it's your decision, Craig.

But I'm gonna miss you if you go, and I'll be here for you if you stay.

So make up your mind, jackass.

I don't like tough love.

Hey, Taylor just said the tour's off.

Craig, you can't do this to us.

Yeah, man, Dalts and I were already getting the bus ready.

He's letting you have the waterbed.

You have a waterbed on your bus?


You never know when you're gonna run into a friendly, female park ranger who's looking to get her freak on.


But, guys, it's Earth, Wind, and f*re.

Don't I have to go?

No, man.

Look. Listen to me, Craig.

You are going on the Nasty Delicious tour, okay?

Because we're gonna rock, get drunk, have a bar fight, wear disguises, rob a liquor store, go to jail, bust out of jail, kidnap a clown, drop him off somewhere, so he's disoriented, laugh... then fill up the bus with gas and do it all over again the next night.

Don't mess with my fantasy, Craig, okay?

Until you come back here, I'm not talking to you.

Just do what's in your heart, Craig.

But if you go with Earth, Wind, and f*re and not on the Nasty Delicious tour, I'll be very upset, very upset, anger, heartbroken, hunt you, find you, hurt you.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.


I did a terrible thing.

I watched Ashleigh dance last night.

I saw her naked.

I didn't see you there.

I'm powerless against the draw of nudity teamed with raccoons and science fiction.

And what's worse is Ashleigh didn't know I was there.

I feel ashamed and overpowered with guilt.


Well, shame is our emotional punishment for doing bad, ipso fatso seeing Ashleigh naked.

So what you got to do is punish yourself to cleanse the shame.

I have to tell Ashleigh what I've done.

[laughs] No.

You smart idiot, man.

You've got to balance the scales.

You saw her naked.

Now she has to see you naked.

I'm not doing that.

Samir, it's the only way, okay?

Naked, guilt, shame, punishment, all better.

You've got to do it.

Damn you, raccoons and boobies!

[upbeat funky music]

It's a funk opera called...

Ben Bot.

It's like if Bootsy Collins had sex with Iron Man and his baby had a jet pack.

What's going on here?

Please tell me you're not trying to resurrect that Ben Bot thing.

No, I'm rebooting.

Yo, man, you joining Earth, Wind, and f*re was the best thing that could ever happen.

I haven't made up my mind yet.

Hey, Craig, you've got to take that job for both of us.

So you wouldn't be mad?

Hell, no.

Craig, man, that's your dream and the beginning of mine.

Hey, I'm ready to take this band in a whole new direction.

You can't hold off for one year?

Would you hold off on your dream?

Craig, I'm happy for you. Why can't you be happy for me?

Because Ben Bot is crazy.

Ah, come on, man.


We're here for the Ben Bot auditions.

Ben, if you're really gonna go through with this...

I have to.

I just ordered 20 silver unitards.

You're insane, but you're right.

I can't miss this opportunity.

[in robot voice] Neither can I.

I'm going to join Earth, Wind, and f*re.

Congratulations, brother.

You're sure this is what you want?

Yeah, it's my dream.

I got to do it, even if my brother's gonna destroy 20 years of my work and the teachers here aren't speaking to me.

Watch. Hey, Jimmy.


Oh, I mean, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

What did you expect?

I was hoping they'd be happy for me.


See? Go ahead.

Rip it up.


What the hell happened?

I thought you said you had this.

Keep your pasties on, Blondie.

I'm not done with him yet.

Psst, do it now. Go, go.

Oh, whoops. Oh.

Ashleigh, can you run to the bathroom and get me a towel?

There's some paper towels right here.

No, I need a towel-towel... from the bathroom... absorption.

There's no one in there. Don't... eh...

There's so much wrong with you.

Do you mind? I have a turtle in the lobby.

Just grab Jimmy a towel.

Samir: Ahh! Get out!

I apologize, Samir.

The door was unlocked.

I know that we don't want to lose another teacher to show business, but, Samir...

Samir, you could make $1,000 to $5,000 a day making certain kinds of films.



Surprised to see you here.


Principal Taylor told us you weren't coming back next year to teach.


We thought about blowing off your final exam, because, well, it doesn't really matter now.

But we decided to leave you with something.

One, two, three, four...

♪ You believed in me despite my shyness from the start ♪
♪ Always made me laugh and taught me ♪
♪ To sing from my heart ♪
♪ For the first time in my life, you helped me find my way ♪
♪ And I'll miss you as my teacher every single day ♪
♪ I'm mad as hell, you know ♪
♪ We started to trust, and then you go ♪
♪ You said you'd be there for me but that was just c'est la vie ♪
♪ You a straight-up liar, bolted out of here ♪
♪ like the place was on f*re ♪
♪ Mr. C said he was one of us ♪
♪ but now he's leaving on the tour bus ♪
♪ If you're gonna drop out, then I guess I will too ♪
♪ Thanks for nothing, Mr. C, and to hell with you ♪



Is it my turn now?

PT, have you seen Deandre?

I saw him leave. What happened?

I didn't realize how much me leaving was gonna hurt my kids.

Jimmy and Dalts are upset, because they'd miss out on a road trip, but Deandre, he's a kid.

If he doesn't come back to school, it's over for him.

Mr. Robinson, so you're saying that your actions actually affect other people?

Like I said, cold as a nipple in space.

Well, look. Maybe not.

Just imagine this.

During one of the concerts this summer, the lead singer of Earth, Wind, and f*re looks at the audience and says, "Give it up for the band."

Earth, Wind, and f*re is gonna be fine without you.

But these kids...

They won't be. I see that now.

I got to go find Deandre.

Well, you're a hell of an actor, kid.

Pay up, PT.

You sucked him into something. What did you say?

PT, it was a masterpiece.

I got all up in his head, you know.

It was, like, French Montana meets Lil' Wayne.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to meet my mom and dad for dinner.

I'm buying.


Oh, my...


Samir: Ahh!

Samir, I've been looking for you.

Now you find me.

Why have you been exposing your body to people?

I could ask you the same thing.

For money.

My answer is much more complicated.

Let's hear it.

I am a huge sci-fi and you naked fan, so I went and saw you dance the other night.

Aw, Samir...

And it made me feel really weird and guilty.

Because you didn't tip me.

No, because I'm crazy about you, and Jimmy told me that if you saw me naked, then I wouldn't feel the guilt anymore.

I'm sorry, Ashleigh.

Well, word around town is you don't have much to be sorry for.

That's true.

I'm blessed.

Samir, I'm flattered that you came to see me dance, and I like you too, and if you're honest with me and we communicate, maybe my next dance will be just for you.


What's going on here?


We can't afford a horn section.



I decided to stay Seriously? Why?

'Cause my real dream was making it with my brother and my band.

You had me at "because."

And thank God, because my dream sucked.

Summer venue said they don't want us without you.

'Cause it's only Nasty Delicious if we're together.

It's good to be back.

So what about Earth, Wind, and f*re?

Yeah, what about us?

Why'd you ask us to come down here?

To tell you I'm sorry, and I'm flattered as hell, but I'm not going on tour with you.

Are you high?

We're Earth, Wind, and f*re, man.

I know, but I just want to play music with my brother and my band.

Craig, I'm just playing.

We respect that you've got to be with family.

And we wish you guys the best.

Hey, since you guys are down here anyway, you think we could do one song just to see what it would've been like?

Well, how about September?

[both screeching]

This is a dream come true.

I... yes.

Yo, come on, man.

Make some calls, man.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are in for a once-in-a-lifetime treat of a lifetime.

Please, give it up for the elements of the universe, Earth, Wind, and f*re.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

Come on.

♪ Do you remember the 21st night of September ♪
♪ Love was changing the minds of pretenders ♪
♪ While chasing the clouds away ♪
♪ Our hearts were ringing in the key ♪
♪ that our souls were singing as we danced in the night ♪
♪ Remember how the stars stole the night away ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

[together] ♪ Ba DE ya ♪
♪ Say do you remember ♪
♪ Ba DE ya ♪
♪ Dancing in September? ♪
♪ Ba DE ya ♪
♪ Never was a cloudy day ♪

♪ Ba DE ya DE ya DE ya ♪
♪ Ba DE ya DE ya DE ya ♪
♪ Ba DE ya DE ya DE ya ♪
♪ DE ya ♪

[cheers and applause]

Alice Cooper: ♪ School's out for summer ♪
♪ School's... ♪

So we cool?

Yeah, we cool.

See you next year, Mr. C.

All right.

[bell rings]

Alice Cooper: ♪ School's been blown to pieces ♪
♪ No more pencils ♪
♪ No more books ♪
♪ No more teacher's ♪
♪ Dirty looks ♪
♪ Out for summer ♪

All right, stay right here, but don't look yet.

Ready, ready ready?


Now, now, now.



Alice Cooper: ♪ School's out forever ♪

♪ School's out for summer ♪

Buckle up, Mr. Pickles.

Alice Cooper: ♪ School's out with fever ♪
♪ School's out completely ♪

[bell rings]
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