06x24 - The Graduate

[bunniefuu]

[Crows caw]

Frankie: There were seven days left in the year of Sue, and Sue was livin' every minute of 'em.

Aah! I got graduation tickets!

Graduation tickets are here! I've got 'em! [Screams]

[Exhales] Here. Wait!

Should I give 'em to you or should I keep 'em?

You. No, wait! Give 'em back.

Because Dad always does the thing where he pretends he doesn't have 'em, and that's really funny when I'm not the one graduating, but I don't think I could take it if I'm the one graduating.

[Screams]

I'm the one graduating!

[Screams] I'll keep the tickets.

This year, I have a whole plan.

We're not gonna roll in late like we always do.

I slipped the janitor a six-pack and got us front row seats and a parking spot right by the exit.

We'll be the first ones out.

Why are you always rushing things?

We haven't even gotten to the graduation, you're already talking about leaving.

Yeah! We're gonna wanna take pictures, you're gonna wanna meet my teachers.

Am I? I mean, if I haven't met 'em to this point...

[Telephone ringing]

[Ring]

[Phone beeps]

Hello?

So how is my party planning going?

Are you all ready for my graduation party?

I can't believe I get to party with my parents on graduation night!

Oh, I wanna thank you.

You have been my sunshine ever since you were born.

You were the baby that would not stop smiling.

I had to ask the nurses if there was something wrong with you, but they did tests, and you were just happy!

And now you're all grown up and you're graduating, and you're letting me be involved. Oh.

Oh, mom!

I love you. I so want you involved.

And this isn't just my day.

This is about the whole family's success.

Ha!

I'm graduating! [Chuckles]

So glad we had a girl.

Well, hang on to that feeling, 'cause that was Brick's school.

They want us to come in for a meeting.

[Groans] Stupid boys.

Brad! Brad! The yearbooks are in!

I know, I know! Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Here!

Three years of bad pictures, and it took me till senior year to finally make sure I got a good one.

Ah! Yes!

In her first decent picture in four years of high school, it's...

Ana Hajarajanaan?

Why is the name under my first good picture Ana Hajarajanaan?

Ugh.

How does this happen, brad?

How does my best friend on the yearbook committee let this happen?!

I don't know, Sue.

I'm not in charge of that part of the yearbook.

Somehow, I just ended up in charge of choosing pics for wrestling and the guys swim team.

Okay.

So it happened.

I'm not gonna let this get me down.

Here, here.

Sign my senior page with our sombrero pic. Yay.

[Inhales deeply, exhales sharply]

The fold? Seriously?

[School bell rings]

Hello, summer! Goodbye, pants.

I will see you in September.

There's my "welcome home" sandwich.

[Door closes]

Ha ha.

[Mouth full] Mmm.

Oh, don't worry. I'll share.

There you go.

[Remote clicks, TV turns on]

So for my future reference, what happens in college?

How exactly does the whole summer thing work?

What happens to hutch?

Well, he goes back to his house in Chicago.

So what happens to Devin?

Goes back to her house in Idaho.

So you guys aren't dating anymore?

No... well, no, we're... Still together.

Oh, so you talked about it?

No. See, that's what makes Devin so cool.

We don't have to talk everything to death. It just is.

Some girls will be all over you, like, "what are we doing? What's our relationship?"

But Devin's not like that. She's cool.

So she could date other people?

[Scoffs] Yeah, I mean, technically, she could, but she's not.

I mean, I could, too, if I wanted to.

But I'm not, but I mean, I could.

So, whatever, it's cool.

Totally cool.

[Sucks lip]

Okay, you're not gonna believe the school meeting I just had.

Well, the good part is he can't be tried as an adult.

No, no, no.

They think he's so smart, they want him to skip eighth grade and go right into high school.

What? That's nuts. Why would we agree to that?

You should've heard the principal.

He said Brick's extra smart.

His brain is superior to the other kids.

I mean, we don't want him to be bored.

Eh, I don't like the idea.

He's got no friends in middle school, you think he's gonna make friends in high school?

Plus all the kids'll be bigger.

You can forget about him making any teams.

Oh, would you give that up already?

That's not happening.

He threw out his shoulder tossing a dart.

Hey, if you let go of thinkin' we're gonna have bowls of fresh fruit in the house, I'll let go of sports.

[Sighs heavily]

Oh, I don't know, maybe you're right.

Maybe we should take into consideration the social stuff.

On the plus side, in four more years, we'd have no kids in the house.

One year closer to freedom.

Okay, I'm sorry. There you go again.

Rush, rush, rush. Wishing our lives away.

Sue's graduating. Now you really wanna push Brick out the door?

Now, wait, aren't you the one that wanted to do this?

I just said, maybe, you're right.

I know, but now I'm agreeing with you.

I've come over to your point. You've convinced me.

Are you agreeing with me now or agreeing with me before?

What side are you on now?

I don't know.

Why don't we just ask Brick what he thinks?

Brick!

Wait!

Shouldn't we know what we think before we ask him what he thinks?

Would you stop yelling at me?

Why can't we ever have a normal discussion?

I'm not yelling!

What's all the yelling?

Are you guys fighting?

We're not fighting. We're fine.

Your father and I are having a heated agreement.

Look, Brick, here's the deal, your mom had a meeting with your principal.

I didn't do it. I'm not doing that anymore.

[Clicks teeth]

Well, whatever it was, you clearly got away with it, so let us just tell you what the meeting was about.

They think maybe you're ready to skip eighth grade and go straight in high school.

Really? Hmm.

Okay, sounds good.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's kind of a big decision. Don't you wanna think about it?

Well, the truth is I am kind of bored in middle school, and the boys in my class are really childish.

They draw boobs on everything.

Yeah, I'm not really sure that's gonna change in high school.

You know, I was kinda dreading the eighth grade.

But now I might even look forward to the fall.

And now it's even less likely there'll be any repercussions from the...

Well, you said you didn't wanna know.

Nah.

Hey, Carly. Uh, do you know what happened to my yearbook?

Brad said he might've given it to you.

Yeah, yeah, Ana Hajarajanaan.

I know. Super funny.

So, okay. Yep, thanks. I'll check. Bye.

[Telephone beeps]

Sue, will you look at this?

No way, Axl. I have fallen for that joke too many times.

No, relax, it's not that.

It's a picture on lnstagram of Devin and some dude.

Damn. I didn't know you could carry a kayak with one arm.

Yeah. I know. But if you saw this guy, you'd think he was a total tool, right?

Yeah, probably.

A smokin' hot tool who's kayaking with your girlfriend.

If she even is my girlfriend.

What do you mean? How did you leave it over summer?

[Sighs heavily] We didn't say anything.

Well, she's cool, okay? I mean, she's not clingy.

That's why she's awesome. She's like a guy.

We're keepin' it loose. She's cool!

Okay.

Fine. What do you think of this picture?

Ew! Axl, gross!

[Laughs] That is never not funny.

Oh, hi, principal Cameron. Are you guys still open?

Yes, yes, just faxing my resumée to TGI Friday's for the summer.

Fingers crossed.

[Chuckles] I actually just wanted to check in on my attendance award.

Oh, are you Lynnette Perry?

No. I'm Sue Heck.

Mm.

You might know me as Ana Hajarajanaan?

I'm fairly sure that Lynnette Perry is getting the attendance award.

No.

Ah, yes.

Ah, she only missed a single day.

But I only missed a single day.

[Typing]

No. No, it says here that you've snuck off campus another day to go to lunch at...

[Key clicks]

Arby's, was it?

But I didn't even finish my sandwich.

You don't understand.

Winning this award has been a goal of mine for years.

I mean, I came to school against doctor's orders so many times.

Yes, and then apparently, you went to Arby's.

But... If you go back, would you drop this off for me?

And tell them that I have a degree in higher education?

Did anybody find a yearbook?

Well, my yearbook is missing, and apparently, three bites of a roast beef sandwich robbed me my chance of the attendance award.

The year of Sue is not ending well, people.

Not ending well at all!

Hey, wait a minute.

If I'm skipping the eighth grade, technically, that means I'm graduating this year, too.

Shouldn't I have a party?

[Exhales] Brick, I can barely scrape the funds together for one party.

I am this close to frosting a loaf of bread and passing it off as a cake.

No, I totally get that. We can just have one.

Me and Sue can combine ours. I'll start texting invites now.

What? No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

This is my graduation, and Brick is not just gonna glom onto my party.

Hey! Excuse me, you cannot stand there.

I got an old shadow and a dork shadow in my sh*t.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm trying to take a pretend selfie in a fake club to make my girlfriend jealous.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Now, should our cakes say, "Sue and Brick" or "Brick and Sue"?

I don't know. I'm thinking alphabetical would be the most fair.

Seriously, mom, you are not seriously thinking about combining parties?

I mean, this is the year of Sue, not the year of Sue and Brick.

I thought we landed on Brick and Sue.

You don't wanna combine parties with her, Brick.

It's gonna be lame.

Ooh, R.S.V.P.s are rollin' in.

All the kids from my social skills group seem to be free.

He can't have people R.S.V.P. Into the party.

This is my party!

[Door closes]

Okay, got my janitor buddy to slip me an early copy of the program.

It all starts at 2:00, but he says as long as we're in our seats at 1:55, we'll be good. Uh, Ehlert's gonna start with the pledge...

Wait. What? What do you mean, "Ehlert's gonna start with the pledge"?

No, sergeant at arms always does the pledge.

I am sergeant at arms. I am supposed to do the pledge.

I guess Ehlert donated a bunch of money or something.

Says he's gonna repave the parking lot.

Oh, my god!

That's how America works now?

Apparently, anyone who donates money gets to exert influence?

That is not the America I know!

Axl: Get used to it, Sue.

Deception and dishonesty are ways people get ahead.

What's real? What's fake? Who knows?

It's like you can't trust anyone anymore.

[Chuckles] Oh! What's that, Kate Upton?

That's hilarious!

Brick, look at this.

[Groans]

No way, Axl.

I've fallen for that joke too many times.

No, it's not that.

Now she's rock climbing with some bearded dude.

The kayaking guy?

No, this is a new one. Look.

[Sighs]

Whoa. Damn.

Is that his arm?

So muscular. I thought it was a leg.

I know, Brick, I'm freakin' out here.

I keep texting her, but she just responds with these one-word answers.

I say, uh, "what are you doin' today?"

She says, "nothin'."

I say, "you enjoying your summer?"

She says, "ya." "Ya"? What even is that?

I blew it, Brick! And now she's dating these action dudes, and I'm in a club in my kitchen!

[Groans]

You know what? I gotta tell her how I feel.

That's it. I'm driving to Idaho to get my woman back!

You can't drive all the way to Idaho.

You'll miss Sue's graduation.

I'll drive fast. I'll put it in my G.P.S.

Hmm? Here, this look right to you?

Oh, Axl, disgusting!

Never not funny!

Okay, I just gotta run into the party store and get some cups, plates, balloons, plastic table covers, oh, and Sue wants this eagle banner she saw that says, "you're soarin' now."

Hmm.

[Seat belt clicks]

No, no, no, no.

You stay here. You're just gonna slow me down.

Oh, okay.

What was the matter with me?

I was gonna let this kid go to high school, but not run a few errands?

Maybe he's more mature than I give him credit for.

You know what? I'm gonna let you take care of this.

Really? Okay.

You wanted cups, plates, balloons, plastic table covers, and a "you're soarin' now" banner, right?

[Chuckles] Wow. You're right.

Okay, here's some money to cover it.

I'm on it.

Okay, can everyone who's signing a yearbook please just check that the yearbook in your hand is, indeed, yours? Mine has been misplaced.

It has my name on it in pink puffy pen.

Thank you for your time.

Next.

[Blows raspberry]

Hi. Sue Sue Heck.

All righty, and do you have any honor cords?

I don't know. What are they?

Well, you wear them with your cap and gown in recognition of your high school achievements.

Yellow is for honor society, green is for math club.

Oh, is there one for student council?

Yes, absolutely, are you on student council?

Yes, I am sergeant at arms.

Darn, so close. It's treasurer and above.

Oh, J.P.L.A.? School mascot?

Hey! I founded wrestlerettes.

Oh! Well, there you go, then.

Red is for varsity athletics.

[Squeals]

Oh, wait, I don't see wrestlerettes on my clipboard of cord-sanctioned activities. What?

Looks like it's not really a sport. I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

So just the cap and gown, then?

Just the cap and gown.

I'm sorry. We're out of medium-sized caps.

We only have large.

Just have your mom stuff it with tissue.

Okay. [Chuckles]

It had been half an hour.

It shouldn't have taken that long.

But if I just marched in there and took over, how would I ever give Brick a chance to prove himself?

Brick?

Oh, hi, mom.

What are you doing?

Why are you dressed like that?

And where's the stuff for the party?

What party?

Yeah, you're not going to high school.

Mm. So it took 20 seconds to figure that out.

Unfortunately, it took 11 hours of driving for Axl to figure out what looked like an inch and a half on his phone, was actually a little longer.

Female automated voice: Stay on 1-80, then, turn right in 1,407 miles.

What?

Frankie: And he knew that if he kept going, he might impress one girl, but he would definitely crush another.

[Tires squeal]

Unfortunately, Mike's graduation game plan was off to a bad start...

[Horn honks] What's the holdup?!

[Door squeaks]

Whew.

Oh, wait, I forgot a book.

[Door opens] No, no turning back!

Frankie! One second! She's not ready yet.

He's only holding the seats till 2:00.

[Brakes squeal]

We can kiss the seats goodbye.

[Car door closes]

Oh, good, you're here. Get in.

Where you going?!

I gotta pee! I've been in the car a zillion hours.

[Door squeaks]

Really, Axl? Idaho?

Sue, what is going on?

I thought you of all people would be ready to go!

Out.

[Horn honks]

Sue?

What's goin' on? Why aren't you ready?

I don't know if I should even go.

I'm not going. What's the point?

What? What are you talking about?

I have no legacy, mom.

[Sighs] It's like I didn't even exist.

[Horn honks]

Oh, honey, is this something we could talk about on the way to the ceremony?

I don't have a cord or a yearbook or an attendance plaque.

I won't be saying the pledge, and I can't go back and watch wrestlerette practice because there will be no wrestlerettes.

All I wanted to do was make a difference and leave a mark, and I didn't.

It's like I wasn't even there. I just feel insignificant.

[Horn honks]

[Sighs] One second.

Just give me a minute! She feels insignificant!

Tell her we all do and to get in the car!

I'm working on it!

Well, fix it fast, Frankie!

Okay, you know what, honey?

I think once you get to your graduation, you'll see all your friends and you'll feel so much better.

So let's just get up, okay?

Come on, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

Doesn't matter. No one will miss me.

No one will care. Who will care?

Well, I'll care.

I just wanna see my little sunshine graduate from high school and then go to that awesome party that we have been planning for months.

[Groans] How do you work these damn buckles?

It's like I didn't even exist.

It's like I walked on sand and didn't even leave any footprints.

And not like the Jesus story that was fun.

[Horn honks]

[Sighs]

I said I...

What is with this family?

Why can't we get anywhere on time?!

I told you, I'm working on it!

Okay, Sue, seriously, your dad's not kidding around.

We gotta go!

Okay, I got her.

Nothing matters, dad. What does it matter?

Okay, good conversation for the car.

[Applause]

[Amplified voice] Well, that was certainly worth the new blacktop in the teacher's parking lot, huh?

All right, let's get this started, huh?

What do you say? A to Z this year?

Ah, let's do it. All right. [Mouths words]

Ben Adams, huh?

So Sue sat there with two shoes on the wrong feet, no cords, no legacy.

I'd honestly never seen her this low.

But then, an amazing thing happened.

[Whispers] Pass it up.

All right, there she is... Joan Anders.

[Gasps]

Sue couldn't believe it.

Every page was filled.

Girl: You're always running down the hall so happy.

I swear, I never once saw you in a bad mood...

You made me feel so much better when I didn't make show choir and also when I didn't make drama club...

Boy: Sorry we didn't get to talk all that much, but your pep rally routine to "fame" was awesome.

You guys rocked...

Girl: And I look up to you in so many ways.

The way you tried everything, I wish I was that brave.

I know you'll do amazing...

Girl: No matter what, you were so positive.

You made me realize, I need to be that way, too, 'cause high school's over in a blink of an eye and here we are graduating...

[Applause]

[Mama Cass Elliot's "Make Your Own Kind of Music" plays]

♪ Nobody can tell ya ♪
♪ There's only one song worth singin' ♪
♪ They may try and sell ya ♪
♪ 'Cause it hangs them up ♪
♪ To see someone like you ♪
♪ But you've gotta ♪
♪ Make your own kind of music ♪

Frankie: Really, what is a legacy?

It's not the speaking at graduation or the awards or the cords or the plaques.

It's the thousand moments every day where you touch people even when you didn't know you were.

Sue Heck. [Squeals]

♪ You gotta ♪
♪ Make your own kind of music ♪

[Screams]

Boy: Go, Sue!

♪ Sing your own special song ♪

Oh.

[Laughter] ♪ make your own kind of music ♪

This could take a minute. [Laughter]

And I'll get to the rest of you later.

[Screams]

Thank you.

[Applause]

♪ your own kind of music ♪
♪ Sing your own special song ♪

Boy: All right, Sue!

Kyle Reynolds: ♪ see in the dark ♪

Hey, kid.

Hey, dad.

[Sighs] Got you a little something.

Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.

This whole party was my present.

Mm-hmm.

♪ Maybe you'll find what you need ♪
♪ You'll find what you need ♪

Calendars?

Well, I don't know.

I figured maybe every year could be the year of Sue.

Oh, dad! [Chuckles]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Door opens, closes]

Aah! What?

[Laughs]

Oh, my god! [Laughs]

[Muffled voice] Uh, hi. Hi.

[Normal voice] Hello. What are you doing here?

It's torturous in Idaho. I missed you.

Oh, really? Sure didn't look like it.

Looked like you were enjoying the great outdoors with a bunch of bearded dudes.

Wha?

Chill, you fool. Those were my brothers.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, I just drove 28 hours to spend the weekend with you.

Are you gonna kiss me again or what?

Yeah. I am.

[Chuckles]

Nice party.

The only thing that would make it nicer would be if batman made an appearance.

But I heard Batman's mom made him return his costume.

Brick, I gotta tell ya... [clears throat]

I think eighth grade was the right choice.

Eh, it's still up for discussion.

Ugh, this is just all moving too fast.

Can't we just take it one milestone at a time?

Hey. Oh, there you are.

Brick told me you came back for me.

You must love me.

Come on, Axl, say it, "I love my sister."

All right, I came here to be nice to you, but if you're gonna be like that, I'm gonna go get Devin a burger.

No, no, no, let's just stay here for a minute.

I want everyone I love right here, right now.

Mmm...

All: Mmm...

That's it. Come on, come on.

♪ There's something good about today ♪
♪ Ia, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ There's something good about today ♪
♪ Ia, la, la, la, la-la ♪
♪ Ia, la, la, la, la-la ♪
♪ There's something good about today ♪