01x02 - A Hero Has Fallen

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "The Grinder". Aired September 29, 2015 to May 10, 2016.*
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"The Grinder" follows a TV actor who returns to his small hometown to work as a lawyer, in his family's firm, after his long-running television series, on which he played a lawyer, was canceled.
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01x02 - A Hero Has Fallen

Post by bunniefuu »

Grinder, no!

Call Lieutenant Governor Shaw!

We are putting him on the stand!

You can't do that, Grinder!

It's too risky!

Maybe you didn't get the memo, Pincus.

Too risky is not in my vocabulary.

Well, it's in mine!

You do this, you put the whole firm in jeopardy.

Possibly even our lives.

Stand down, Pincus.

I said stand down or I will stand you down myself!

You'll be disbarred, Mitch.

Such a strong pilot, Uncle Dean.

Right? But I want to show you the second episode.

Uh, you know what, Dean, it's, uh, it's almost 10:00.

I think we should wrap this up.

Ethan's got to get to bed.

Dad, this is a big episode.

They have to reset the whole premise.

And that's a hard thing to do.

In a graceful way?

Very difficult.

And we didn't follow up the pilot as well as we should've, and you know what?

We lost a lot of our audience because of it.

Are we sure that's why?

How about this?

We watch one more... two tops... then we call it.

Okay, one more and then bed.

All right? I got to get to work in the morning.

That reminds me... tomorrow, should we carpool?

Or is it the kind of thing where you take the first half of the day and I take the second?

So-so you're planning on coming into the office?

Like, every day now?

Yeah. Oh, were you thinking I was just gonna work out of the house?

No, uh, I was not...

I was not thinking that, Dean, because, um, you're not... a lawyer.

Well, not yet.

What do you expect him to do?

Show's over... he's got to do something.

Okay, so we've moved past the whole just because he was a lawyer on TV doesn't make him qualified to do it in real life argument?

Yeah.

Yeah, I believe we are.

That ship has sailed.

That's ridiculous.

It's a family law firm!

All of us working together.

Don't deprive me of that.

I vote carpool, 'cause that way we get to spend some time together.

Beginning of the day.

And the end of the day.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, let's cue this bitch up.

Episode two!

Happy Monday, everyone.

Good win last week.

Even though it was a trial that made zero financial sense, it's nice to know that the Ramirezes get to keep their apartment.

Justice has no price.

Well... there is some price, Todd.

It's 40 hours we bill to no one.

Oh, right.

Stew, don't be a stick in the mud.

We got a ton of free publicity, and we've been flooded with new business.

Which is both good and bad.

With new business comes more work.

And I think we should consider bringing on a new attorney if we're gonna take on all these cases.

Yeah, but do we feel like taking on all these cases?

He's leaning in the doorway, right?

'Cause I got to tell you, none of them are grabbing me.

We need to follow up on this Ramirez victory with something really special.

Okay, great, Dean.

And how exactly do you suggest we do that?

He's saying we have to choose a case that speaks to us.

Well, no, no, no!

We don't choose anything.

We let the case choose us.

That's insane!

If we throw away all these cases, we will go out of business.

Okay?

This-this is a real law firm.

We can't do that.

But what if we could?

But we can't.

But what if we could?

I don't know how to respond to that... exactly.

Lizzie, no texting.

We're eating dinner.

Just one text.

Just let her sh**t one text.

No, no texts! We're eating.

And that better not be Joel Zadak.

Why? What do you have against him?

Aw, this is great.

We're eating. We're passing things.

We're arguing about texting.

We don't like Zadak.

It's all here.

This is the stuff.

It really is.

Dinner.

It's amazing.

Hey, Ethan, you finish your homework?

Can I do it in the morning? I'm exhausted.

No, sir.

The only reason you're exhausted is 'cause you stayed up all night with your uncle watching The Grinder; I don't want to hear it.

You're gonna do it tonight.

Hey, exhausted brain is a worthless brain; you got to let it work when it wants to work. For me, my best stuff comes out in the middle of the night.

That lines up for me.

That does not line up for you, okay?

You're not gonna do that.

Here's something crazy.

Dawn and Trevor got fired.

Really? What for?

Who-who are Dawn and Trevor? Fill me in.

Well, they're friends of ours and they work together and I guess their boss found found out that they were dating, which he doesn't allow.

Wait a minute.

And they were fired because of it?

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Zero chance.

No one, and I mean no one, should be able to tell someone who they can and cannot love.

So true.

It's not that true.

Wh-Where are you going?

Where's he going? Where's...

Uh, if it's your company, you-you can make that policy.

It's perfectly legal.

What are you thinking, Junior?

We go to Dawn and Trevor and see if they want to sue?

Wait, I-I don't want to sue.

Oh, oh, I don't want to sue, he doesn't want to sue, nobody wants to sue, but I think the question we're facing is don't we have to sue?

Not at all.

Yeah, we do.

We would be representing love.

And their constitutional right to have it.

And to share it with whomever and wherever.

This is our case.

You were right, Deano... the case found us.

But this isn't a case at all. There's nothing here.

But what if there was?

Guys, I can hear the gavel sound from downstairs!

I can't believe you're watching this again.

Have you finished your homework?

My head's just not there right now, so I'm gonna give 3:00 a.m. a try like Uncle Dean said.

What? No, come on, homework.

And, Lizzie, that better not be Joel Zadak.

Come on, okay? He and I are a couple.

And like Uncle Dean said...

I don't care what Uncle Dean said.

The answer is no...

No, Grinder!

The answer is no!

I don't want to hear it, Pincus.

You're flying too close to the sun, Grinder!

It's not gonna work. It's damn near impossible!

Don't ever tell me what's impossible!

Well, someone's got to.

And whether I like it or not, that someone's me. You can't win, Mitch.

Well, that's the difference between you and I, Pincus.

I never... can't win.

I'm friggin' Pincus.

Grinder you are jeopardizing the entire firm!

We will lose everything we built!

Everything!

I'm scared, Mitch.

You'll be disbarred, Mitch.

Please, don't do this! I am telling you you will lose!

Hey, I got to go to work.

Can you take the kids?

Uh, yeah.

What are you watching by yourself in the bathroom at 8:00 a.m.?

Am I really negative?

Like, am I a negative person, like a naysayer?

I don't think so, why?

I don't know, I just...

You know what? I feel like when Dean's here, I-I'm just, I'm always saying no to everything.

You know, like I'm-I'm some sad sack buzzkill.

Oh, come on, you are not a sad sack buzzkill.

You're... levelheaded.

So, boring?

No.

Conservative or... realistic.

Those are both worse.

Even with the hands.

But it's a good thing.

It's who you are.

But what if it wasn't?

Okay.

I have to go to work now.

Right?

It's impossible to argue!

You can use it in any situation, because it just, it means nothing, honey!

Love you.

So, sometimes you take them and sometimes Deb takes them?

Yeah, uh, whatever, whatever works out best for our schedules.

That is a great arrangement.

Uh-huh. Ethan, you tired?

Yeah, a little.

But it's worth it.

Amazing how much you can get done in the middle of the night without all the distractions.

Right?

Sure.

If it... if it works, it works, I guess.

Whoa, who's this guy?

Still the same guy, just... trying to be a little more open.

Really? Then can I have Zadak over?

You open to that?

You know what? I am.

I am.

Have him over. Have him over.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These are the moments.

Deano, I want you to meet our new clients, Trevor and Dawn.

Hi. How are you?

Hi.

I was so inspired by Deano last night that I just decided to take action.

When I heard from my sister-in-law about your egregious termination, I was appalled.

I'm sorry.

I didn't hear a word you just said.

I'm such a huge fan.

And, dude, love the show.

But watching you take down Albert Krantz in that eviction case, that was sick.

It was a tremendous legal victory.

But you know what, that is all in the rearview mirror, because there's more justice to be had.

And it begins right here today with the two of you.

Isn't that right, Stew?

Yes.

Yes, it does.

I'm excited about this.

Justice begins here.

Talk to me.

Opposing counsel is Rozz/Landy & Associates.

Led by Hugh Rozz and Pat Landy.

They any good?

Put it this way... they hate to lose.

Looks like we... have something in common.
Hey!

What's up Stubert?

Hey, Pat, Hugh.

Such a k*ller suit, man. Loving the loose fit.

Dude, we're huge fans.

I mean, your show, Thank you.

It's what got us through law school.

It was our law school.

Yeah.

Oh, guys, this is Claire Lacoste, our junior associate.

She's gonna be running point in there.

Might remember Dean from a little show called The Grinder.

Oh, right. Hi.

That's always nice to hear.

What is? I didn't say anything.

I'm sorry, I thought you said that you loved the show.

Oh, I did not.

Are you kidding me, Lacoste?

Where is this even coming from?

Guys, it's okay. She didn't like the show.

But out of curiosity, Ms. Lacoste, what exactly didn't you like about it?

Well, um... it was just a little melodramatic.

And cheesy, you know?

And totally unrealistic when it comes to, like, actually practicing law in any way.

Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense.

We should go.

Or is that not what you wanted to hear?

No, that's... exactly what I wanted to hear.

Uh, Mr. Behar, did my clients' relationship hurt the company in any way?

Objection... speculation.

Noted, but your client still needs to answer.

To my knowledge, no, it didn't hurt the company.

Beautiful line of questioning.

Yeah, incredible.

The only problem is your clients' termination was perfectly legal.

But what if it wasn't?

Well, it-it is. First of all, it was clearly written in the company guidelines.

And your clients admit they were well-aware of that.

And second, you can't ask questions.

You're an actor.

Stew... pose this question to the room.

Did Dawn and Trevor violate company policy or did company policy violate Dawn and Trevor?

Oh!

Uh, yes, uh...

Did the, uh, did-did Dawn and Trevor's...

Uh, did the company violate the...?

All right, this can't happen every time!

Let him ask what he wants.

This is not what we're talking about.

If you're saying this is a Constitutional issue, then you need to file a motion with the State Supreme Court and establish standing, thereby rendering this civil hearing unnecessary.

Is that what you're saying, Mr. Sanderson?

Objection?

On what grounds?

Hearsay?

Do you even know what that word means?

Of course!

We said it every episode on The Grinder.

And do you know what?

It worked every time.

Every time.

Sadly, it doesn't work here.

As much as I love "what if it wasn't" as a defense, you have nothing.

Shall we?

You're the freaking Grinder.

We should bring this to the state's attorney's office.

It's over.

But what if it wasn't?

It doesn't work here, Todd.

Right, sorry. I...

Dean, come on, it's okay.

You can't win them all.

At least, we tried, right?

And we're not done trying.

Yeah.

It isn't impossible.

It is today.

And it sickens me to say this, because I've never said it before, but...

...I've lost.

Excuse me.

♪ Livin' on the road, my friend ♪
♪ Was gonna keep you free and clean ♪
♪ Now you wear your skin like iron ♪
♪ Your breath's as hard as kerosene ♪
♪ And all the Federales say ♪
♪ They could've had him any day ♪
♪ They only let him hang around ♪
♪ Out of kindness, I suppose. ♪

Hello?

I'm home!

Ethan, are you sleeping?

Hey, Deb.

Joel! Joel Zadak.

Wow, you're here! Why though?

Dad said it was okay.

Oh. Okay, well, I'm not.

I'm not doing that, so good-bye.

You and your husband should really get on the same page.

Okay, I don't need that from you, Zadak.

Get out of here.

Hi. Up to bed. Let's go.

Move it.

Dean?

Where's Stewart?

Upstairs.

I let him down.

I let a lot of people down.

Millions of lovers who can't be together simply because they work together.

Hmm...

Right, well, um...

I'm sure there's still some... hope for all of those unfairly persecuted lovers.

No.

Good night, Deborah.

Okay.

What's going on?

What do you mean?

Zadak is wandering around like a free-range douchebag, and our son fell asleep in his pasta.

Yeah, I'm, um... trying something different.

What? Why?

'Cause I'm sick of being Pincus.

Pincus from The Grinder?

You know, I-I'm tired of being the bad guy, Deb.

I just, I don't know.

I thought I'd just try and say yes a little bit more.

So, in trying not to be a fictional character from your brother's television show, you're letting our real-life kids do whatever the hell they want and... we think this is a good idea?

Well, why do I have to be the guy to keep everything in balance, Deb?

I mean, Dean gets to be the hero and I have to be the biggest wuss in TV history?

Oh, honey.

Sit down.

Every hero needs a Pincus.

The Grinder is nothing without him.

Pincus is just as important as The Grinder.

He needs you.

And so do we.

Okay?

Hey, sorry, you two.

Stew, you're blocking me in, boss.

Thought I might find you in here.

Yeah, well, if you do find me, do me a favor and let me know.

You'll be the first.

Is this what rock bottom feels like?

"Rock bottom"?

No, Dean, I mean...

There are worse situations to be in, right?

Like AIDS, you mean?

Yeah, that's a... that's one of them.

Not-not one I would've chosen, but...

Right, 'cause AIDS you can kind of manage today.

It's not the death sentence it once was.

Right.

I don't know, man.

Maybe I made a mistake moving back here.

You're being too hard on yourself.

It was just one tiny hiccup.

Do you think I'm good at this?

D-Do I think...?

Do I think you're good at...?

Yes, mm-hmm, yep.

I think you have a... you have an interesting perspective.

And, um, you have a lot, a lot of potential.

And, um, uh... charisma.

But it's not enough, is it?

Call Rozz and Landy.

Tell them we fold.

You're right, Dean, the case is hopeless.

It's unwinnable.

It literally can't be done.

What did you say?

I said you're out of your depth, Dean.

Walk away.

Are you saying it's... impossible?

That is exactly what I'm saying.

Like, no one could do it.

There is not a lawyer on this planet.

And what would happen if I ignored you?

Then... we would lose everything we've worked for?

Uh, the law firm.

Everything.

Call Behar.

I'm not through with him yet.

It's beautiful.

My boys back together again.

You with your confidence restored and you all sweaty and nervous.

I love it.

I love it, too.

I love, uh, I love, I love this energy, and I love, you know, our walk was great.

And us together.

Uh, but we still don't, um, don't have a case.

Don't need it... we just go in there and we grind.

Together.

That's all.

Yeah, but it be nice if we had an angle.

That's true. An angle's good to have.

They're saying we only have an hour.

That Behar's a busy man.

"A busy man."

Hmm.

Hey, Stew?

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Maybe?

What are we doing here?

Yeah, I answered all your questions.

Todd.

We have more.

A lot more.

What?

So I hope that there's nowhere you need to be, because this could take a while.

How long?

Just as long as we want to talk to you, you son of a...

Dad! Ju...

Sorry.

Long enough to explore their entire two-year employment history.

Day by day.

By day.

What?

Day one.

Is he allowed to do this?

According to Rule 26B of the 2000 Amendments, the court allows additional time for full examination of the deponent in all employment cases.

Yeah, but still, objection. This is irrelevant.

It's a waste of everyone's time.

Dean, she's right.

It's time to walk away.

This will take weeks! I don't have weeks.

That may be, but you still have to answer.

May 1, 2013.

Dawn's first day on the job.

Do you recall what she was wearing that day?

Of course not!

Later that day, Trevor spilled coffee on his pants...

Okay, stop.

Mr. Behar...

Do you remember that?

I don't have time for this.

What if I hire both of them back?

Will this whole thing go away?

It's not enough.

What do you mean?

Uh, Dean, it actually is enough.

We got what we came for...

No, we came for the policy!

And we are not leaving without it.

What...? Does he want me to change the policy?

Is that what he's trying to say?

I think that's what he wants, yes.

Objection... hearsay?

Almost.

Fine.

I'll change the policy. Is this thing over?

Not yet.

Todd?

Grinder rests?

Damn right he does.

So I'm asking questions, but I don't care about the answers.

I'm looking for the answers behind the answers.

Hi. Sorry to, uh, break this up.

Stew, he's mid-story.

I'll be quick.

Uh, like I was saying, uh, earlier, we have a lot of new cases...

Thanks to Dean!

Bravo.

Yes, thanks to Dean.

And thanks to Todd for always reminding us to clap for him.

Still, uh, we do need some help.

So, um, I brought someone on, who I think will fit in and just balance things out perfectly.

I'd like to introduce, uh, Claire Lacoste, our new senior associate.

Hi.

Well, I did not see this coming.

Welcome aboard, Counselor.

Thank you.

It's gonna be interesting.

What is?

Let me just put this out on the table so that things don't get weird.

Okay.

There's obviously something powerful at play here.

Where?

You know, we met as opponents, on opposite ends of the b*ttlefield.

And now we're working side by side.

And that can be hard.

Hmm.

So... so I think that we should have a plan, you know, to try to deal with it.

Or I could just nip this in the bud right now by saying that there is no chance in hell that you and I are ever gonna happen.

Like, it's impossible.

But what if it wasn't?
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