05x02 - Chutes and Ladders

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

(gasps)

You lied.

I'm not free.

Well, you got that right, assh*le.

It's your own damned fault, thinking you could cheat death.

Mm-mm.

(clicks tongue)

(sobs quietly)

Woman (echoing faintly): Help...

Help!

(screams)

Help!

Help!

(sobs)

Help!

(sucking noises)

Help!

Help!

Can't you shut her up?

I can hear her through the duct.

Did you forget a cop is staying here?

He's away at work.

(Agnetha whimpering)

She'll stop.

She always gives up after a minute.

(Agnetha falls silent)

See?

Yuck. Tastes gross.

That's 'cause she's dead.

Stop.

(humming quietly)

It's a horror!

I'll have to use ammonia to refresh these linens.

I've always admired the Swedes and their chocolate.

It's a wonder they stay so thin.

Chocolate's the Swiss.

(flies buzzing)

(whirring)

Get some juice and cookies.

That's the last of it.

Thank you.

Where's Donovan?

Getting dressed, I hope.

It's just been a while since I've seen him--

The Countess: You're torturing that woman.

I was a junkie because I wanted to escape from my mother.

You made it so I never can.

Why haven't you changed?

We're going to miss the opening.

We don't have space for any more art.

Ah...

Besides... you don't have the money, babe.

We're not going for the art, dumbass.

We're going for the hunt.

We just fed.

Come on. Let's stay in.

We could binge-watch House of Cards.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ Caressing the marble and stone ♪
♪

♪ How I wish you were here with me now. ♪

Alex: You're very brave, Max.

We're almost done here.

Mrs. Ellison: Do you think that this could be strep?

I looked on WebMD and they said...

Stay off the Internet.

It'll only make your head spin.

Can you breathe in for me, Max?

(inhales, coughs)

He sounds terrible, doesn't he?

(Max coughing)

Hang in there.

We're gonna get you all better.

Don't worry.

I'm just gonna talk to your mom for a minute, okay?

Your son has the measles.

Oh, the measles?

Thank God.

I thought it was something serious.

The measles are serious, Mrs. Ellison.

And completely unnecessary.

If you had followed my advice and had Max vaccinated, then we wouldn't be...

We did what we thought was right.

Okay, all that stuff out there how vaccines can lead to autism, how can they actually k*ll people...

Measles k*ll people.

Children.

Millions in the developing world, until pretty recently.

But you don't live in the developing world, Mrs. Ellison.

You live on the West Side of Los Angeles.

And believe me, there are plenty of real threats right outside these doors for you to be worried about.

Look, our children are at risk from so much in this world.

We can never protect them from all of it.

But when there's something we can do to make them just a little bit safer, we do it.

So what's the treatment?

There isn't one.

Tylenol to keep his fever down, lots of liquids.

And rest.

Something you won't be getting in the next couple weeks, I'm afraid.

Call me if his fever spikes again.

Okay.

(radio starts playing "Body and Soul")

(radio shuts off)

(knocking at door)

Turndown service?

No.

(exhales)

(gasps)

("Body and Soul" playing)

(panting)

(flies buzzing)

(gasps)

("Body and Soul" playing)

(muffled sounds of breathing, crackling)

(ghostly rushing sounds)

Holden!

Holden!

Holden!

Holden!

Holden!

Holden...

Sally: Are you looking for someone?

I guess not.

Sally: This place is bat-sh*t crazy, you know.

Weird things go down, especially at night.

You look like you could use a drink.

Oh.

I know that look.

Hanging onto your sobriety like it's the last train out of Dodge.

Bring him a ginger ale, Cleopatra.

The hour between 2:00 and 3:00 a.m. is always the worst.

So I take it you live here?

I do.

How long?

Too long.

And I'm not a hooker if that's what you're wondering.

I wasn't.

I can't help but wonder how come--

How come a girl like me ends up with tracks in her arms living in this dump?

That's one way to put it.

Patti Smith said that my poems were like glass shattering.

I wrote a song with her.

And then she wrote me off. (laughs)

Why?

'Cause of the smack?

Getting high used to be like how you imagine heaven.

Pure light.

The perfection of it all.

Even in me.

Then I got lost.

Kept trying to climb higher.

Get closer to that light.

Like an endless ladder where all you do is get further and further away.

There's a part of you that wants to get lost, am I right?

Climb that ladder.

Tell me about your very last drunk.

What kind of day was it?

I like details.

Started like most days.

Multiple homicide in Glassell Park.

Dad here spent the year in prison for second-degree as*ault.

We figure he couldn't take the pressure, so he poisons them all, and blows his brains out.

(indistinct radio transmission)

(helicopter flying outside)

Well, at least they d*ed peacefully.

What happens to a man makes him m*rder his own kids?

He didn't.

His power had been turned off, so he brings in a portable generator so his kids can stay warm.

Must have ran out of gas.

Comes back from his night shift finds his whole family dead from carbon monoxide poisoning.

That's enough to make a man sh**t himself.

(g*nsh*t)

I had two kids at the time.

Holden and Scarlett.

I didn't make it back home for two days.

Then the day I came home, I took the family to the beach.

Some kind of desperate gesture to earn my wife's forgiveness.

(laughs)

It almost worked.

Holden! Holden!

But my son...

Holden?

I lost him.

I can't afford to get lost.

So, you were right about our Bel Air vic.

He was pumped full of male potency dr*gs.

Near lethal dose.

They still have him in induced coma.

Something interesting though.

Both victims had the same text on their cellphone.

Messaged each other to meet them at the Bel Air.

Only, they didn't send them to each other.

You mean a third party spoofed both their numbers?

Our k*ller has some tech savvy.

That's your mom.

We have to go.

John, you have a package.

A package?

Hotel Cortez.

That's where you're staying, right?

Let's evacuate the building!

Get the b*mb squad down here!

(indistinct radio transmission)

Man: Okay.

It's not a b*mb.

I mean, we can take it outside and detonate it if you want to be safe, but you might want to take a look first.

Thanks, Ted.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

(chuckles)

Let's run this down to the crime lab.

Packaging, everything.

Let's run this blood, too.

And see if it matches any of our victims.

Will: Claudia, you made it.

Will, this place.

It's marvelous!

It's like some sad whore that stayed too long at the party.

(laughs) I know.

I still can't decide if I should renovate it or just let it decay around me.

A lot of these fixtures are original, you know.

Mmm.

Uh, can I help you with something?

Just teaching the folks from Vogue how to Vogue.

I couldn't resist.

The irony.

Skinny jeans are out, fringe is in and ponchos are forever.

Make a note of it.

You will spend the night?

Are you kidding me? I'm spending the week.

I'll write about fashion.

And I'll sleep with history.

Tell me.

Does he comes with the building?

He's one of our residents.

Will Drake, new owner.

Right.

Claudia Bankson, Vogue Magazine.

Uh, didn't mean to crash the party.

I'm just looking for my daughter.

She was supposed to be dropped off here.

Daddy!

Dad, guess what?

Officer Pettibone let me run the siren!

Oh, Officer Pettibone knows better.

She hit a triple at recess.

Oh, that's-that's my girl.

All right, thanks, Carl.

Sure.

Let's go.

Wow! You live here?

It doesn't always look like this.

Is it a party?

It is, and you and your father are invited.

Oh, thanks, but we have our whole day planned.

Dad!

Honey, this is a grownup party.

No, it's-it....

She can sit with my son.

Lachlan!

Lachlan, this is Scarlett.

I'll take your tickets.

Come on, man!

Oh... I need to be on this list.

Sorry, is there a problem here?

Yeah, I'm not on the list!

I'm not sure who you are.

I g*dd*mn live here!

It's a private affair, dear.

The event's full.

Maybe next time.

Come on, man.

(crying): This is my house.

This is my house!

Get off of me!

(whispering): This is my first fashion show.

My millionth.

Maybe later I'll show you something really cool.

♪ ♪

(murmuring and indistinct whispers)

♪ Mama says ♪
♪ Truth is all that ♪
♪ Matters ♪
♪ Lying and deceiving is a sin... ♪

There's that cop that moved into 64.

The police don't worry me.

♪ A world that's torn and tattered... ♪

He's very handsome.

You do have a type; I'm afraid we're not much company, compared to what you're used to.

Oh, please.

We're so bored with each other.

We need some excitement.

And we just might get it.

Will booked Tristan Duffy for the runway.

And with him you can always expect something quite unorthodox.

What?

(sniffs)

Whatever.

Let's just do this.

♪ Living for the moment ♪
♪ Lips and lashes ♪
♪ Will I ever find my way again? ♪
♪ Don't stop ♪
♪ Don't stop the dance ♪
♪ Don't, more music ♪
♪ Don't stop the dance ♪
♪ Don't stop ♪
♪ Don't stop the dance... ♪

(crowd gasps)

♪ Footsteps in the dark come together... ♪

(applause)

♪ Don't stop the dance... ♪

What was that about?

He's full of rage.

I can still smell it.

(sniffs)

Like copper.

You need to get your sh*t together.

The show is not over.

It is for me.

I'm done with modeling.

You can't tell anyone about this.

It has to be our secret.

I mean it.

Come on, don't be a wuss.

Nothing wakes them up.

Watch.

(kids laughing and playing)

♪ ♪

What do you think you're doing?

I know there's coke in here.

I can smell it.

(laughs)

Stop before you make me stop you.

Call the cops, man.

I don't give a sh*t.

I'm coming out in a Lars Von Trier movie next year.

(bellowing)

I've made a rule to stay away from junkies, but I'm gonna make an exception with you.

(choking)

Let him go.

(gasping)

Hmm.

(elevator bell dings)

(coughs)

(groans)

(pounding on door)

(tinny music playing)

(rustling)

Franklin Roosevelt: Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

(gagging)

sh*t!

(smooth jazz playing)

(music stops)

Take any piece you like.

None of it has any meaning for me.

You look like you need a drink.

I'm good.

Oh.

Bolivian marching powder.

Too tame for my taste.

***

I've tried it all, man.

There is nothing better. (sniffs)

You know.

In your black heart of hearts, you know.

You're just like me.

I don't think so, dude.

Well, I had it all once.

Fortune, fame.

But nothing satisfied.

"To thine own self be true."

Polonius.

(drawer opens)

I'll show you what you've been dreaming of.

(whistling)

Miss Evers: Yes, sir?

Stop your sniveling.

I found this one in the bar, sir.

Prostituting herself.

Ah. There's nothing she won't do for a dollar.

Sorry, man, bondage really bores me.

Me, too.

Pull the trigger and take her last breath.

(whimpering)

It's exhilarating.

You're crazy.

Get off me, man.

(grunting)

Well...

No!

You got to go out and grab life.

Oh! Jesus!

Laundress?

Yes, sir?

Replace the linens.

Right away, sir.

I'll get the ammonia.

What a glorious stain!

(elevator bell dings)

(kids playing, laughing)

(footsteps approaching)

(door closes heavily)

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

What took you so long?

You know who I am?

Scarlett.

Do you remember them?

That's Mom.

Dad.

And that's me and that's you.

But you're different now.

I grew up.

Why haven't you?

Mom and dad will be so happy when they see you.

They thin you're dead.

Let's go home now.

I am home.

I like it here.

You can come to visit whenever you want.

Can I take a picture?

Okay, here we go.

(panting)

Oh.

(chuckles)

(screaming)

(laughs)

(elevator bell dings)

Kids are the best.

(indistinct radio transmissions)

(sires wailing)

Alex: If you could just ask Wendy if she can think of anything, anything she may have said or if she saw her with someone.

John: Why can't I patch in to the cameras downtown from my laptop here at home?

But she's been gone for five hours!

It's a long time when a psycho has your private number!

Daddy?

Oh, my God!

Where have you been?

Are you okay?

Are you hurt?

Did somebody take you?

I went on the bus.

To your hotel.

Alone?

Yes.

Jesus Christ, Scarlett.

Jesus Christ, you can't do that to us!

I'm sorry, Mommy.

How did this happen?

Mom, I pretended to go to the bathroom and then climbed out the window.

I know the police guy couldn't go in there.

I wanted to see if it was really him.

I wanted to surprise you.

What are you talking about?

You wanted to see who, Scar?

Holden.

He's at your hotel.

H-Holden is dead, Scarlett.

No.

I saw him.

I was just talking with him.

No, you weren't!

He's dead, and he's never coming back, all right?

So stop saying that!

I'm not a liar.

Look, I took a picture.

I saw him, and he was real, and you lied to me.

No.

You said he was dead, but I saw him.

(door slams)

Jesus Christ, I can't believe you made me go through this again.

You think Holden was my fault?

I'm sorry, I'm very tired.

I'm going to bed.

Tristan: Jesus Christ.

I look amazing.

I would do me.

No zits, no blackheads.

Mmm.

All that crystal was wrecking my skin, making me look like something on that Web site, "Faces of Meth."

Now I look what, like twenty-four.

God damn.

The beauty of the virus is you never age.

You now have a supercharged immune system.

Can a b*llet take me out?

A silver b*llet or a stake?

Bitch, please, of course it can.

You're only immortal if you're smart.

(both chuckle)

Tristan: No fangs?

We don't bite.

We cut.

Harder, harder.

Harder.

(Countess moans sensually)

Countess: Never drink from the dead.

Avoid the diseased, the feeble, the polluted.

Bad blood is like a... a bad flu or worse.

Coffins?

I prefer blackout curtains and a Duxiana bed.

The sun won't k*ll you, but it should be avoided.

It will sap your vitality.

Huh.

Bellissimo.

What?

Nothing, you just remind me so much of someone.

You know what I can't wait for?

To hunt Kendall Jenner.

Bitch blew me off once at Coachella.

Can I k*ll her?

The only thing that can undo you now is your own recklessness.

Just don't get caught.

And don't fall in love.

That's the part you save for me.

Forever.

How old are you?

Countess: I was born in 1904.

(Tristan laughs)

Tristan: Who turned you?

Countess: One who is even more beautiful than you.

But he's long gone now.

So you'll have to do.

(chuckles)

(chuckles) sh*t.

So you lived through, like, the wars and the depression and... Clinton and everything.

What was your favorite time?

Every decade has its decadence period.

That's when I'm most alive.

I loved the late 1970s the most.

♪ I want your love ♪
♪ I want... ♪
♪ Your love ♪
♪ I want your love ♪
♪ I want ♪
♪ Your love ♪

Countess: I was the disco queen.

♪ I want your love ♪
♪ I want ♪
♪ Your love ♪

I still am.

The darkness was the light.

I could walk amongst them with no fear, no judgment.

We were all vampires then.

Oh, my God.

♪ I want your love ♪
♪ I need your love ♪
♪ Just like the birds the sky above. ♪

I mourn it still.

I think about everything that could have been, had they all lived, my friends.

Andy, Keith.

Robert.

All that... loss.

Were those guys you k*lled?

***

You wanted to say it to my face?

I just did.

Tristan, would you give us a minute?

Yeah, sure.

(Donovan laughs)

I can't believe you turned him.

He's a stupid trashy model.

And you were a pathetic addict dying on a filthy floor.

I didn't want to hurt you.

I still don't.

There's no reason this has to end badly.

End?

Are you throwing me out?

I love you.

I love you.

And I love you.

But you will learn-- it isn't our precious virus that makes you.

It isn't who you k*ll or who you screw.

It's the heartbreaks.

The bigger, the better.

I know better than any of us.

I'll let you pack your things.

(glass shatters)

You said, when you brought me back from the brink of death, that it was the closest thing you ever had to a spiritual experience.

You tell me... you tell me you felt that when you made him.

Honestly...

it was... one of the most... erotic... moments... of my life.

♪ ♪

Hey there, handsome.

Rough day?

Oh, cowboy, we don't allow guests back here.

Don't think of me as a guest, think of me as the angry father whose daughter you let roam these halls today.

There's not a thing that goes on in this place that you don't know about, which makes you an accessory.

To what?

m*rder, maybe kidnapping.

I'm done playing.

Aren't you gonna frisk me first?

Whew, it's been a long time since a man spun me around like that.

If I was a few years younger, I'd even enjoy the cuffs.

Oh, you're not gonna enjoy this, believe me, until you start telling me everything that's going on in this place.

You've seen things.

You know I have.

Look, before you have to explain to somebody what you think you're charging me with, why don't you take these bracelets off of me?

I'll tell you what you want to know.

(sighs)

There's just one thing you got to do.

What?

Ask nice.

And buy a lady a drink.

Is that your thing?

You need to be talked into drinking?

Cut the crap, ask me what you really want to know.

I want to know what's going on in this place.

Well, if you want to know what this place is about, you have to know about the man who built it--

James Patrick March.

He put atom of evil in his being into building this hotel.

March was a self-made man-- oil, coal.

But he was new money, shunned by the elites of East Coast society.

So he came west, to a land where pedigree meant little if you had a lot of dough.

Here he would build a monument to excess and opulence, where he could satisfy his own peculiar appetites.

Uh, Mr. March?

Mr. March?!

Uh, th-there's a problem.

I'll be right down!

Iris: He was a design freak-- art deco, self-taught.

He tried to get Julia Morgan to come out and build a place for him, but she demanded that he pay his workers fair wages, so he told her to stuff it.

There's a part of these plans that make no sense.

I mean, entire hallways with no rooms off of them.

It looks like you want us to build, uh, some sort of secret passage system.

Well, of course these make no sense.

These aren't the right ones.

You're working off an old draft.

Come up to my office with me.

I'll get you the new set.

(sighs in relief)

Okay, good. (chuckles)

March: I envy you.

My curse was making my fortune too early.

My point being that the appetites of the filthy rich are specific.

***

Do you mind?

I feed some of that hunger with this building.

(clicks)

My art.

But sometimes, if I really want that good, full feeling...

Iris: He wasn't just building the finest hotel.

Los Angeles had ever seen.

(groans)

It was a perfectly designed t*rture chamber.

An engineered alibi.

Secret chutes and rooms to hide and dispose of the bodies.

Hallways with no exits.

(screaming)

Walls were lined with asbestos so they could mute the screams.

People walked in, just vanished.

"No body, no crime," he would say.

(whistling) No, no.

(crying): I don't like small spaces.

Please.

Help!

(sighs)

Somebody help!

Help!

Help! Help!

No.

Please, no.

Iris: He had a wife.

No.

They say he forced her to watch the t*rture.

I like it.

Help. No, please.

No, help!

Iris: No one knows how many d*ed.

Rumor has it he averaged three a week.

A lot more if he went on a bender.

Help!

(screaming)

(groaning)

(groans)

Miss Evers!

Yes, Mr. March?

Do you require fresh linens?

Yes.

But more importantly, remind me to switch out this God-awful Secessionist light fixture.

Makes this place look like a damn zoo.

(groans)

Excuse my language.

(chuckles)

Iris: His loyal minion.

Miss Evers, the laundress.

She said she could get a stain out of anything for Mr. March using a secret ingredient-- love.

(groans)

(praying softly)

My father was a true believer.

Ate the little cr*cker and drank the wine every Sunday.

(inhales sharply)

And he was the meanest son of a bitch you've ever seen.

k*ll a cat for purring too loud.

(clicking tongue)

You want me to tell you the worst thing in this world?

Religion.

That and regulations.

God is in my heart so I know there is always hope.

You think there is hope now?

You think God is going to protect you from the head of this hammer?

Or the six floors you're about to fall?

As long as there is a God, men like you can k*ll thousands, millions, but you will never find peace.

(laughs)

Well then, I guess I'm just going to have to k*ll God.

That is my message to the world.

(groans)

Fly!

I'll fetch you a clean shirt.

And I want every Bible from every bed stand in this entire hotel!

(insects buzzing)

Detective: What in the Hell is this mess?

No I.D.'s.

(sighs)

Detective: Not right for someone to pull this sh*t on a Sunday.

Iris: He was sloppy with his wet work out in the world.

They say somebody turned him in.

No one knows who, but I'm betting on the wife.

With him gone, she got everything.

All those millions.

(knocking)

I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.

I have some very bad news.

The police are here.

(sighs heavily)

Oh, Miss Evers.

You have always been the only one I can count on.

You are a pillar.

And so I give you the honors.

What order shall we die in?

Oh, Mr. March.

(sighs)

Oh, I really don't know.

I mean, part of me wishes you would go first so I could launder the sheets.

There's no time for that, is there?

(knocking)

No.

It seems not.

I will go first.

(knocking continues)

g*n, please.

(gasps)

Would you do me the honor of making me your last one?

Your last meal?

(knocking continues)

Miss Evers.

(g*n clicks)

(chuckles)

(knocking continues)

(choking)

You're in the wrong profession.

You should be writing for the movies.

Ain't a movie.

This place is the real deal.

If you want to know what's really going on here, you're gonna have to expand your thinking a bit.

Well, I've worked every kind of crime-- robbery, homicide, as*ault.

Not one of them were committed by a ghoul or a ghost.

People do enough damage without help from the afterlife.

Put it on her tab.

That was his office.

The room you're staying in, 64.

If this building has a heart, it's black as the ace of spades, (chuckles) and you're sleeping in it.

Hahn: Got the lab results on that bloody award.

It's what you thought-- DNA matches our first vic.

Martin Gamboa, our blogger.

Wrote for that site Gold Derby.

Now we've got a m*rder w*apon.

Yeah, and maybe a motive.

What's this?

You ever hear of James Patrick March?

Oilman.

No.

He made a k*lling during the Great Depression.

Built a hotel here.

Might have been a serial k*ller.

Before he topped himself, police were trying to connect him to a bunch of unsolved murders.

They couldn't know, but somebody else did.

What are you talking about?

It's a pattern, Andy.

A pattern?

Yeah.

Dead thief, cut off his hands.

Thou Shalt Not Steal.

Illegals, looking for work on a Sunday.

Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.

Thou Shalt Not Worship False Idols.

And the Rylance Twins.

Most people thought their parents' boating accident was an accident.

But maybe our k*ller knew better.

Maybe-maybe the rumors were true-- they offed Mommy and Daddy.

Honor Thy Mother And Father.

The Ten Commandments?

You're saying someone's picked up where this-this March guy left off?

Maybe.

I don't know, John.

Holy sh*t.

The hotel he built-- that's where you're living now.

Yes.

♪ From the cradle bars ♪
♪ Comes a beckoning voice ♪
♪ It sends you spinning ♪
♪ You have no choice ♪

(chuckles)

♪ You hear laughter ♪
♪ Cracking through the walls ♪
♪ It sends you spinning ♪
♪ You have no choice ♪
♪ You hear laughter ♪
♪ Cracking through the walls ♪
♪ It sends you spinning ♪
♪ You have no choice ♪
♪ Following the footsteps ♪
♪ Of a rag doll dance ♪
♪ We are entranced ♪
♪ Spellbound ♪
♪ Following the footsteps ♪
♪ Of a rag doll dance ♪
♪ We are entranced ♪
♪ Spellbound, spellbound ♪
♪ Spellbound, oh ♪
♪ Spellbound, spellbound ♪

You chose well.

Uh...

(laughter)

Who's she?

He looked extra juicy.

And clean.

(chuckles) Look, dude, you're hot, but vag action is a total deal breaker for me.

I've got rules.

♪ When you think your toys have gone berserk ♪
♪ It's an illusion ♪
♪ You cannot shirk ♪
♪ You hear laughter cracking through the wall ♪
♪ It sends you spinning ♪
♪ You have no choice ♪

Just 'cause I'm sucking on a dude doesn't mean I'm gay.

Did you want some?

I'd rather watch.

♪ Spellbound, spellbound ♪
♪ Spellbound ♪
♪ Spellbound ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

I need more.

♪ The rag doll dance ♪
♪ We are entranced ♪
♪ Following the footsteps ♪
♪ Of a rag doll dance, we are entranced ♪
♪ Entranced, entranced, dance, dance, dance. ♪