02x08 - The Collector

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Z Nation". Aired September 2014 - December 2018.*
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Three years after the zombie virus has gutted the country, a team of everyday heroes must transport the only known survivor of the plague from New York to California, where the last functioning viral lab waits for his blood.
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02x08 - The Collector

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Z Nation

I thought there was a mission that dictated Our each and every action.

And that anything was justifiable in service of The mission.

Citizen Z: The centers for disease control is offering an enormous bounty For Murphy's safe delivery.

What the hell is going on?

It's a damn Murphy free for all.

Where's Cassandra?

I mercied her.

I gave her life.

And you had no right to take that away.

She wasn't human.

Not since you bit her.

[groaning]

[whispering] Not right now.

Doc: Flashlight. No batteries.

Half a bottle of aspirin.

Well I got no a*mo.

Found this.

I got two batteries and four b*ll*ts.

I got two in my g*n and two randoms in those.

You got gum?

For repair purposes only.

Remember fresh breath.

Oh.

Couple of b*ll*ts.

Road flares.

I got one empty clip.

You know what. See if these fit.

I know this looks shaky, but we will find a way to get Murphy to California.

Well I'm hungry.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty.

What are you looking at?

Murphy!

Wake up man.

What?

Help me find some lunch.

Nuts, fruit, edible tree bark.

Edible tree bark, huh?

[groaning and spitting]

How does Euell Gibbons do it?

Don't eat that tree.

[spitting] Terrible aftertaste.

[car horn honking]

Let's roll! Come on, Murphy!

Well?

Two gallons, maybe three.

If we get ten miles a gallon It'll get us halfway to Plainview.

Hey, where's Murphy?

He's right behind me.

Damnit Murphy!

[electric guitar theme music plays]

♪ Have mercy. ♪

[g*nshots]

♪ Oh, have mercy. ♪

Warren: How do you just lose Murphy?

What do you mean, he was just behind you? Really?!

[yelling] Help! Help!

[yelling] Doc! Warren! Your mission's fallen down the rabbit hole!

[yelling] Vasquez! Your bounty's missing!

[yelling] Help!

I'm gonna be really pissed if my last words are "Murphy, where are you?"

We might as well be saying, "Here we are, zombies. Come and get us."

Murphy better hope he's not around when I reach 9,999.

Easy, kid. We got to find him first.

Well I think it's somewhere around Oh and don't eat the bark off them skinny trees.

Starts out tangy then goes south in a hurry.

Oh maybe it was over here.

[slap]

At least you didn't flinch.

[slap]

Better.

Good.

[thwap]

[moaning and gagging]

[growling]

[s*ab]

[slice]

[slice]

I was hoping we'd find him here napping.

That slippery bastard's gonna spend the rest of his day in shackles if I have anything to say about it.

[humming gleefully]

[gleeful humming continues]

Your eyes follow me like a creepy painting.

That's weird for a Z. Zombies are more like Uh...

Uh...

I can't really do it.

[electric drilling]

Didn't wanna k*ll him. This one was a handful.

Hiding in the dark to surprise Kicking my Z-Catcher away.

Trying to remove my helmet.

Sometimes I do wish I was a doctor.

Consider myself more of a collector.

But letters after a name do not a genius make.

Those quacks at the CDC ignored me.

They should've listened to me.

What have we here?

Male zombie. Well preserved.

You're fresh for a zombie.

But fresh Zs are agitated and wild. They only want to feed.

But you are so mellow.

[mumbling]

That's interesting.

I've yet to meet a Z that could speak. And I've met a lot of Zs.

Does your brain resemble his brain?

I'll have to remove your brain from your head to see.

[gasping]

No? Bad idea?

[breathing heavily]

[laughing]

[mumbling]

Wa... Speak to me, zombie. You can do it.

[whispering] Water.

Synapses may be f*ring.

[whispering] Wa... ter.

Water? You just asked me for water?

[whispering] Yeah.

A zombie is asking me for water.

Which is the water?

[gasping]

Are you sure, bright eyes?

[gasping] [laughing]

You just maxed out the zombie IQ test.

You're just severely dehydrated.

There you go.

Slowly.

[whispering] More, please.

[laughing] My first talking Z.

[laughing] It's like meeting a unicorn that craps diamonds.

It's interesting.

Your flesh is deteriorating, but you are compos mentis.

A conscious, aware, thirsty zombie?

What are you?

[weakly] My friends and I had car trouble when I accidentally stumbled into your pit.

Wait here.

[moaning]

[breathing heavily]

Can I help you with something?

More water.

I'm not as isolated as might appear.

My zombie safaris take me out of my zip code and on occasion I catch interesting internet and radio chatter.

Citizen Z: There's a man traveling among you.

He's the only human known to have survived a zombie bite.

His blood has the antibodies to create a vaccine.

It is imperative that he be transported alive to the Centers for Disease Control Lab in California.

His name is Murphy.


Survivor of a zombie bite?

That'd make some kind of half-man, half-zombie.

That'd be a far fetched story.

A story that would require irrefutable evidence.

[gasping]

You are Murphy.

[laughing]

Do a zombie's cuts get infected? The flesh is rotting.

I'm not a zombie.

Had you feel pain?

Uh, yeah.

What is up with those cards?

I'm constantly observing and recording data all the time.

[electric zapping] [screaming]

What the hell was that for?

Pain is a useful teacher.

Hey, listen. Is this thing really necessary?

I've heard tell of The Murphy.

The stories suggest you are the most dangerous man half-alive.

That's absurd. Listen, my friends are gonna be looking for me.

Friends?

You mean the bounty hunters who were taking you to the CDC lab.

The CDC are idiots!

I thought we covered that.

These are all unopened.

After a while, they stopped reading my warnings.

They were probably in on it.

The people actually wanted to handle it.

People are sheep.

Stay away from the CDC.

I will admit that my interactions with the CDC have left me less than impressed.

Thank you, Mr. Murphy.

It is refreshing to hear you say that.

- [electric zapping]

[screaming]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Total accident.

Damnit!

Be careful with that thing.

You can relax, Mr. Murphy.

Can I?

Yes.

Because I don't want the bounty.

I just want to know what it is to be you.

Imagine if the biggest ComicCon ever did it with the Smithsonian Voila.

You're making a zombie museum?

It'll be much more than that when we open the restaurants, the night clubs, and the gift shops.

And it won't be like one of those candy-ass ComicCons where they ban real weapons.

You're banned from ComicCon?

I'm a zombie hunter. Of course I'm carrying.

Costume play? Cosplay? Not a real word.

Ridiculous. There is no play. I told them this was coming.

They'll listen to me now. Of course they're all dead.

Nice to have something for the kids.

White zombie. Have you seen this?

I missed that one.

I am not what you would call a hardcore fan of the genre.

Released in 1932.

It is the grandfather of the American zombie film.

Starring Bela Lugosi.

White Zombie introduced the notion that sh**ting a zombie in the chest would not k*ll it.

And they were right.

I Walked with a Zombie.

From 1943. Taps into the Haitian voodoo roots of the mythology.

You see, Caribbean slaves feared they would remain servants even in death.

I've had that nightmare.

The one that started it all for me.

Zombie lore has been part of the collective consciousness for decades. But the works of George Romero had a massive influence on the culture.

Weaving social commentary into a monster movie gave his films a resonance.

It's in black and white?

What's your favorite scene?

Who can pick just one?

I think it's so scary when the little girl turns and the mother just stares.

Her baby is now a monster.

It happens.

What about your mother?

My mother?

Gone.

Mine too. Zombies?

No. Before.

I'm sorry, Murphy.

It's hard in this world with no one to look after you.

Yeah, well I'm not him anymore.

Dawn of the Dead. 2004.

Now this one I did see.

Scary and funny. That's how I liked my zombies.

A satisfying remake of the Romero classic and a stinging rebuke of America's consumer driven society.

I get it. Zombies as consumers driven by the mindless desire to obtain useless shiny stuff blah blah blah.

[electric zapping] [screaming]

And to set it in a suburban shopping mall?

Genius.

Romero never explained why the dead rise.

The not knowing is much more horrifying, don't you think?

The knowing is pretty horrifying too.

I get the feeling you were often misunderstood.

First impressions were never my strong suit.

Not very good at second impressions either.

You are unique, Mr. Murphy.

I can see you are to be revered.

I can see you sitting on the throne dispensing the wisdom of Men, zombies, and all a that will come after Men.

People will travel great distances to be in your presence.

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Has there ever been a zombie movie that captures how exhausting and dirty the apocalypse is?

I'm filthy all the time.

I blow my nose, and mud comes out.

You want a shower?

You have running water here?

Hot water?

I hate to ask, but what happens when this thing hits the water?

Like a toaster in the tub.

Kidding. It's waterproof.

Enjoy.

Murphy!

Ghost town.

Nothing but quiet.

Nothing. No one here.

Without Murphy, there's no mission.

Keep moving.

For as important as this guy is, we sure lose him a lot.

Murphy!

[growling and yelling]

[thud]

[growling and yelling]


Murphy, that suit is so you.

[groaning] [growling]

You're busy.

The others will be expecting me.

[groaning]

I'm kinda their mission.

Have I been talking to myself?!

You are their pawn!

I am nobody's pawn!

[thwap]

[growling]

So I'm gonna leave you two.

I'll see myself out. It's a left, left, down the stairs, and to the right. Right?

[grunt]

My basement, my rules.

Damn.

You'll never make it to California. That is insane.

If the CDC wants to see you, they're gonna have to come to me If anybody wants to see you, they're gonna have to come to me How was your sleep?

Those elephant darts sure pack a punch.

What are you doing to me?

Getting you mic'd up.

Oh, blood sample.

Your miracle blood might warrant its own exhibit.

- [electric zapping]

[screaming]

Damnit!

That'll sober you up.

What is this?

Keeping proper records is the most important part of scientific research.

Plus at a twelve dollar admission price, the public will expect interactive exhibits.

In... three, two.

Welcome to the National Institute of the Zombie Arts.

I am Dean Madeline, founder.

I'm joined by the only known human to survive being bit by a zombie.

Welcome.

- [electric zapping]

[screaming]

As you can see, Mr. Murphy feels pain.

At this stage of his evolution, his central nervous system responds to 50,000 volts.

Welcome.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure to be here.

Mr. Murphy, I'd like to take a DNA sample.

A simple swab.

Say ahhh.

[growling]

[electric zapping] [screaming]

I have so many questions, but the most reliable data come from your cells.

As you can see, I'm taking a plasma sample.

And What is that for?

This six inch needle eight inch needle is for collecting a bone marrow aspiration.

A bone marrow what?

A simple test to determine whether you are more human or zombie.

Bone marrow tells you that?

Won't know if you don't try.

That's the best part about science. Trying.

[screaming]

[crash]

[growling]

Head's up!

[growling]

[splorch]

Nobody's here.

Finally, the opportunity to hear directly from The Murphy in an exclusive interview that will dispel the rumors and conjecture.

Can I just pee in a cup?

Describe the circumstances of the life-altering history-making att*ck that left you infected with the HZN virus.

Yes, well.

A few months into the zombie outbreak, I volunteered for a secret government research program.

[electric zapping]

[screaming]

[screaming] What?!

If you don't tell the truth, who will?

I was in prison.

A scientist used the prisoners as guinea pigs to test serums to fight the zombie virus. Most of the batches didn't work. Mine did.

I think.

The lab was overrun by zombies moments later.

And they left me.

The zombies att*cked me, bit me, tore my body open.

But I did not die.

What would you like to say to the unprofessional CDC doctor who left you in that lab?

That I would keep my promise? What promise?

I will... Hunt you down and eat your brains!

And for other zombies?

Life is very simple.

One goal always driving them forward.

What do brains taste like?

I don't know. I've never tasted them.

Mr. Murphy, the world's only living hybrid man-zombie will now consume a human brain for the first time.

Actually I would rather not.

[electric zapping]

[screaming]

[laughing]
Okay, we're gonna go on three. One...

[crash]

[growling]

[splorch]

I said on three!

We do a three count at every house we're gonna be here all day.

Collector: What's it like to be a zombie whisperer?

That's how rumors get started.

Can you control another zombie with your mind?

Now wouldn't that be something.

What about that zombie in the pit? Wasn't that you?

No.

Are you saying that I captured you and the smartest zombie I ever met in the same day?

When you're hot, you're hot.

What happens when you bite a human?

Nothing.

Nothing special.

They die.

Do you feel connected to the Zs?

I feel like a father.

Father? Well that's an interesting choice of words.

Are you a parent?

I was, briefly.

I had a daughter.

She was beautiful. But I had to give her away.

I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this.

What happened?

Enough questions.

Well I think that went quite well.

I'm gonna take this sample off to the freezer.

And I'll be back for that urine sample.

[growling]

You have opposable thumbs. Do this.

That a boy.

[electric drill running]

Shhh.

[whispering] We know it works.

[electric drill continues]

[clanking]

Focus up.

[drill stops]

Unbelievable.

That was awesome!

You're like a puppet master!

[electric zapping]

Thank you, Doctor Henderson. That'll be all.

I knew it was you in the pit with the zombie. I knew it!

Murphy!

Murphy!

Come on, man.

All right.

We need to fan out or we won't find Murphy by nightfall.

Well why we got to split up? I hate that.

What is this?

The main exhibit hall.

Rudimentary, I know. But my zombie collection is growing.

[growling]

[electric zapping] Don't worry, it's not really radioactive.

I mean the diorama isn't. The zombie might be.

Toxic waste poisoning, probable cause of death.

No bite marks on him.

A phyto Z?

Phyto?

[electric zapping]

I've been calling her plant woman.

Phyto is better.

Where did you find these?

Hunting far and wide. Not easy.

The CDC should be putting this kind of effort into observing Zs instead of playing poker in their lab all day.

There are some awesome mutations happening.

How did you capture a blaster?

Blaster? You're good at this.

[electric zapping]

This one was clever.

Must have been in proximity to a nuclear blast.

Blaster. Got it.

Part of his brain still works. He can learn things.

I'm gonna teach him how to juggle.

You can't keep live zombies like this.

It's perfectly safe.

The invisible fence keeps them Almost forgot. Over here.

The celebrity zombie room.

Presenting George RR Martin.

Who the hell's that?

[growling]

He wrote a song of Ice and Fire.

Game of Thrones?

We didn't get HBO in the clink.

Well he's my only celebrity Z so far.

How?

I was at the last ComicCon when it all went down.

Some dirty guy with a cross-bow tried to help George escape.

Got eaten.

I helped George and his girls escape, but they didn't last long without room service.

Watch this.

He has amazing muscle memory from all those years of signing books.

It's a reflex.

I have hundreds of these.

I'm gonna make tons of money when eBay comes back.

I'm gonna be damn rich!

Nice.

Maybe you could do your mind thing and help him finish his next manuscript.

Maybe.

Is it any good?

They're always good.

Summer is Here.

It's already 800 pages. How long does it need to be?

I was thinking about typing The End on the last page.

We'll k*ll everyone in the next book.

Can I have this?

Yeah, sure.

[groaning]

Not gonna happen.

Time to go.

I have no trouble making you bleed.

I can see you sitting on the throne dispensing the wisdom of men, zombies, and all that will come after men.

Mr. Murphy.

I'll cut you in for a percentage of the gate. That's fair.

Okay, fine. I can go ten percent of concessions, not counting liquor sales.

I tell you what, I'll throw in liquor sales, but only after my sweat equity has been recouped.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Where's a zombie when you need one?

Man, you are a tough negotiator.

Twenty percent of all concessions including liquor, and we split the George RR Martin book sales down the middle.

Open the door.

50/50. Come on, that's fair.

Unlock the door or die!

[growling]

[g*nsh*t]

Okay, Murphy. It's going to be like this all the time? Fine.

[buzzing]

Go.

[electric zapping]

Prima Donna.

Betrayed. That's what I'm feeling. I've been too nice.

And you're too dangerous.

So I have no choice but to drain your blood and freeze it.

You can't freeze my blood.

Says who?

Some CDC quack?

The antibodies.

They'll figure it out. Or I will.

I'm the mission.

[electric zapping]

The mission is over!

You're not unique, Murphy, though perhaps your blood is.

And anybody who wants a sample can walk right up to my front door.

[growling]

You have some range.

You don't even have to be right next to the zombie.

[laughing] This is really something.

[electric zapping]

[laughing]

What else can you make him do? Will, will he sing if you sing?

[electric zapping]

We, we could do this to music.

We could add a light show.

[thump]

Be quiet.

[electric zapping]

Yes?

I'm looking for a friend.

Haven't seen anybody.

[electric zapping continues]

[electric zapping]


He's a tall guy. Kinda weird blue-ish skin.

Blue-ish fella?

Is he ill?

[electric zapping continues]

Is there anyone else in this town?

Nobody.

Anywhere else my friend might have gone?

Sorry.

[electric zapping continues]

Good luck.

[electric zapping continues]

[electric zapping]


You almost made me k*ll your friend.

Don't be embarrassed, Murphy.

Enough volts would humble any man or zombie.

[whispering] Murphy.

[whispering] Murphy.

[growling]

[electric zapping]

[growling continues]

[electric zapping]

Murphy?

Murphy, you okay?

What is this?

[mumbled whispers]

[electric zapping]

You bleed slowly.

Anybody ever tell you that?

Yes.

Look who's Mr. Agreeable all of the sudden.

Mr. Murphy and his amazing zombie boy.

I want to see what happens when you bite a human.

Quit lying to me and show me.

Murphy, you don't have to do this.

Yeah, he does.

Do not let him turn me into one of those things.

One of what things?

I dunno what he's talking about.

[electric zapping]

[gasping]

Patronize me again and you will limp for the rest of your undead life.

I'm too weak.

How about you? Anything?

Nothing.

Told you we should've put that guy in a collar.

[g*nsh*t]

That sh*t definitely came from that way.

[growling]

That's just a warning sh*t.

Just k*ll me. Just sh**t me in the head.

I want to see what happens when Mr. half-zombie man bites a living breathing human being.

And it's gonna happen now or I'm gonna start putting holes in people!

Murphy!

Hey, 10K. He left us a trail of crumbs.

There's nothing to fear.

I don't fear you.

I hate you.

If you're the key to mankind's survival, we should all just go to hell.

Finally, something we agree on.

[electric zapping]

[screaming]

I'm working here!

It won't be that bad.

What you did to Cassandra was worse than death.

Just let it happen, kid. You won't be afraid anymore.

[electric zapping]

No! Please, Murphy! No!

Don't bite him on the face. Don't bite him on the face.

I'm tired. You took all my blood.

Bite him on the chest, just like yours.

Okay.

Okay.

It'll all be over in a second.

No, no, no!

Is this what you want?

Yes. Show me what it feels like to be a zombie.

Done.

[growling]

[screaming]

[munching]

[screaming]

Look at me.

[screaming continues]

Look at me!

[screaming]

[crying] Bite me!

Now you know what it feels like to be me.

There's no mercy in my world.

Don't watch this.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[crying]

I'm glad you found me, kid. Now get me the hell out of here.

Murphy? Murphy, you okay?

Murphy?

[growling]

Murphy.

Murphy, wake up.

[growling]

Hey, I'm with him.

What is all this?

Come on, Murphy! Wake up!

[growling]

[growling]

How'd a phyto get all the way down here?

Oh, I hate them blasters.

I got two b*ll*ts left. Anybody else?

I gave mine to 10K.

Don't look at me.

I got two.

10K! Draw them over this way!

[growling]

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

I'm out!

[g*nsh*t]

These are the weirdest freaking zombies.

[g*nsh*t]

The zombie fun pack. Collect all ten.

Well what happened to him? Murphy, can you hear me?

He's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Ah, look who's still alive.

It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.

That's why I'm not talking.

Yeah. No, I get it.

I have half a mind to leave this on.

How 'bout a cowbell?

That'll attract Zs.

Yeah well what difference does it make?

He yawns and they come running.

Is that all of it?

You feel like you're missing six pints?

I don't know. I've been unconscious a lot today.

All right, well hold still.

You should feel better soon.

What do you care?

Bags of blood are here.

Take them. They're yours.

Go get your cure.

Try not to run off again.

We're all counting on you to stay alive.

Warren.

Promise me you won't leave me alone if we make it to California.

I promise you.

Saddle up.
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