01x07 - The Backstabbers

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Nova Prime: I trust you are all familiar with Ronan the accuser.

Fanatic, ruthless, power-mad.

And fortunately, now no longer among the living.

However, his elimination means that Thanos, the greatest thr*at to our galaxy, is now without a general.

Ronan's absence from Thanos' inner circle has created a power vacuum.

Where is this power vacuum?

I will find it and use it to cleanse the galaxy of all those scum!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Drax!

Stop swingin' that thing around, you d'ast fool!

I will not, Rocket.

Ronan used this w*apon to destroy my family!

I will use it to destroy Thanos!

(Grunts)

I am Groot!

Put the universal w*apon down.

(Groans quietly)

And quit sulking like a baby.

I am sulking like a full-grown man.

Who sleeps with a Dolly.

I told you that in confidence, Quill.

And Mr. Rhinopus belonged to my daughter!

You confided in Quill?

He couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it.

Or hold a map still while I'm trying to navigate.

Yeesh, take a recording, Gamora. It lasts longer.

Good idea.

Will you losers pipe down so as I can spy on Nova Corps in peace?

We believe Thanos will be naming his new general shortly, based on communications we've intercepted between Ronan's former lieutenants, Korath, Nebula and Gamora.

What is the meaning of this?

I am no traitor!

Says the lady who betrayed Thanos.

So how come Nova Corps thinks you're keepin' in touch with Korath and Nebula?

What? Kids plannin' a surprise party for "daddy" Thanos?

Easy.

It's not like Nova Corps is the most trustworthy source of information.

(Coughs) Titus.

Why did you think I hacked into their comm feed in the first place?

I can't speak for Nova Corps.

But I won't stay one more moment with a team that doesn't trust me.

We get it, Gamora. You were raised by Thanos, you used to work for Ronan, you turned your back on both of 'em.

Water under the bridge.

(expl*si*n) Drax: Where is this bridge?

Will we find Thanos there?

Oy! No, it means we trust her.

(Beeping)

See that reading? My boom box doesn't lie.

The Cosmic Seed is right here on planet Sarawat!

(Computer processing)

Or it was here, and now it's, um...

There.

In that place.

Gamora: I doubt the cosmic seed was ever on Sarawat.

It's supposed to accelerate life, but I don't see much evidence of that.

(Thudding)

(Roaring)

Except for that.

Peter: Okay, here's an idea.

Let's get out of here before that thing eats us!

Retro-jets are failing!

g*ns ain't doin' it either!

If The Cosmic Seed was here, that thing must've absorbed its energy.

We need to dislodge it from the ship before that thing absorbs us.

I am Groot!

Good idea. I've been wantin' to try 'em out.

Rocket: I put a lot of sweat into those space pods, so don't scratch the paint!

Peter: The only thing I plan on scratchin' is old space squid here.

I am Groot.

No kidding, nothing's happening!

Haven't you done enough damage with that universal w*apon?

No. I believe I can do considerably more damage than I have thus far.

Observe.

(Squid snarls)

Yeah, damage to us!

Peter: So maybe we can do more damage from the inside!

Rocket: You wanna get eaten? That's disgusting.

Peter: This from the guy who eats from the garbage unit.

Rocket: I was cleaning it!

Peter: With your tongue?

Rocket: At least I use my tongue for eatin', and not blabbing stuff that ain't nobody's business!

Told you Quill can't keep a secret.

Peter: Creatures, twelve o'clock!

Not true! I never said a word about that fungus on Groot's butt!

Groot: I am Groot.

Peter: Hey, Gamora, this creature's like an amoeba, right?

Gamora on receiver: If you mean a single-cell bio-organism, then yes.

So that's probably the nucleus! We ice that, we ice the whole thing!

Fine. One distraction comin' up.

You want some of this?

(Laughs)

I am Groot!

Rocket: You owe me a space pod, Quill!

Make that two space pods!

(Roaring)

Peter: Where's the Milano?

Okay, Gamora, very funny, ha, ha.

Now come pick us up...

Gamora?

I am Groot.

She ain't in trouble.

She's ditchin' us!

Drax: We never should have trusted her!

Peter: Looks like we never should have trusted her piloting.

Gamora! Explain your actions!

Where is she?

I dunno, but her space pod's gone.

I am Groot! I am Groot!

Good idea. I better check.

Quill's boom box is gone?

(Exclaims) I'm shocked.

Shocked, I say! See my face? This is my shocked face.

Oh, come on, guys.

This is Gamora... Who maybe hit that big blob on purpose to get rid of us!

What if Nova Corps is right and she's been working for Thanos the whole time?

Or she was kidnapped, or forced to betray us against her will.

That is easily the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

I am Groot.

You got that right, bud.

You know you're in trouble when Drax is the smart one.

Fortunately, I put tracers on everything!

Everything?

I am Groot?

Everything. Including the pods.

So as I can nab the little green backstabber!

Peter: I'm sure this is all one big misunderstanding!

Besides, you guys gotta stay here and fix the ship.

I am Groot!

(Computer processing)

Okay, her pod's showing damage.

That's not good.

And that's even worse.

(Grunts)

Don't worry, you're safe.

(Exclaims) What are you doing? You'll ruin everything!

Go away!

Hello, sister.

You called. I came.

Now show me what I want.

Um, why is Thanos' other daughter here and why is she not trying to k*ll you yet?

(Grunts)

Nebula, you're late.

Korath's spies must have learned of our plan.

He ambushed me and took the cryptocube.

Wait, Korath has my boom box?

Oh, man, Gamora, what have you done?

Together, we can take it back, and regain Thanos' good graces!

So the Nova Corps rumors are true.

You do want to be his general.

But why include me in your scheme?

Because we cannot allow Korath to become our father's favorite.

Okay, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

None of this makes any sense.

Oh, unless it's a plot to take her down!

Nice, Gamora. I knew we could trust y...

Oh!

You should have trusted Nova Prime.

(Groans)

Gamora... no...

You still need to prove that I can trust you.

End him.

Now.

I can't k*ll him.

We need him to operate the cryptocube.

Why would we need this fool to operate an empty box?

Uh... No reason... Right, Gamora?

The pandorian crystals interact within the cryptocube to form a map to The Cosmic Seed.

He's the only one who can work the thing.

Why do you think I let him follow me?

And you say I can't keep a secret?

Maybe I'll just take him and vaporize you.

If you thought you could b*at Korath without me, you would have already done that.

Or you could just let me go and then nobody gets the cryptocube...

(Grunts)

Chitauri helmsman: Mistress Nebula, we are closing in on Korath's ship.

Gamora: He hasn't spotted us yet so we still have the element of surprise.

Nice room. Time to leave.

There's a weak spot in the shield generator near Korath's main thrusters.

Hit him there, and we gain the maneuvering advantage.

Chitauri helmsman: Lord Korath has spotted us.

Korath: Nebula! What are you doing in this sector?

As if you didn't know, Korath.

I'm on a mission for the master, which you are endangering, you troll!

The only thing I endanger is your serving the cause of your real master, the traitor Ronan!

I had a fondness for Ronan, but he is gone.

I serve our father, Thanos.

In any event, you lie. Gamora told me that your spies att*cked her and took the object!

You lie!

Gamora herself told me to meet her here to receive the cryptocube!

Prepare for battle!

Or she's been lying to us both.

Gamora, explain yourself!

Shaktah!

Groot, you twit-brained gronka.

You were supposed to keep Quill on the ship.

He almost blew everything with his big mouth.

(Grunts)

Groot: I am Groot.

Gamora: Yeah, I've heard that before.

Just get the repairs done. I'll signal you when we're ready for pickup.

Groot!

How could ya?

After all we been through, you're in cahoots with that traitor Gamora?

I am Groot!

I am Groot! I am Groot!

Explain yourself, tree!

Wait, you had the box this whole time?

I am Groot! I am Groot!

If Gamora did not steal the cryptocube, then what did she do?

I...

Am Groot.

(Snarls)

(Grunting)

Of course he's gone. Well, he isn't Quill if he's not ruining my plans.

(Sighs)

(Screaming)

(Grunts)

(Continues screaming)

Gamora! You okay?

Am I okay? What about you?

Sorry about knocking you out earlier.

Meh. I knew it was just a setup.

Based on... what?

We're friends, G. I trust you.

So how 'bout trusting me and let me in on your plan?

Nebula! The truth now, or I will fire on your ship!

Not if I fire on your ship first!

(Grunts)

You devious little minx!

I knew it, but why didn't you just tell us?

I figured if I could make Korath and Nebula suspicious enough of each other, they'd fight, and take each other out.

I couldn't risk Nebula discovering the truth if any of you got caught.

I told Groot because I knew he can keep a secret.

You, not so much.

Ouch. (Blows)

(Muffled gasp)

You call my plans reckless? Now why would you risk Korath getting the boom box?

Unless you didn't...

Because it was on the Milano all along!

But you had to hide it to make it look convincing, right?

Oh. Well, it's a good thing they don't know you crashed the ship back on Sarawat, and it's sitting there helpless.

(Chuckles)

Oh... hey, Nebula!

You didn't hear what I just said, right?

Not that it was important, because I never say anything important, just ask Gamora!

Korath, new plan.

Nebula: We fly to Sarawat, eliminate the Milano and its pathetic crew, and sort things out from there.

Korath: Agreed. The Guardians will be destroyed!

Well, that ain't good.

So we got two nutjobs in k*ller spaceships heading our way.

And we ain't about to fly.

But maybe we can hide.

Cloak us!

(Circuits scrambling)

I am Groot.

What do you mean the cloak's busted?

I believe he means the device that camouflages our ship has ceased to function...

I know what he means!

Lock weapons on the Milano.

The ship has disappeared.

It must be cloaked. Carpet-b*mb the region and sort it out later.

Peter: Psst, Gamora. Remember when we met?

You mean when I tried to vaporize you?

Yeah, only you didn't 'cause...

This!

(Screams)

Gamora!

Nope! Just me!

Ah!

But I did learn a few moves from her.

All right, Korath.

Here's a little present from your sister Nebula.

(Alarm blaring)

Raise the shields! Weapons on line. Now!

This would be a good time to let you know I told Korath where the weak points are on Nebula's ship.

You dare fire on me, Nebula?

Nice sh*t, Nebula!

Korath had no idea you were secretly working with us the whole time!

Oh wait, I probably shouldn't have said that.

I should have known.

You sisters have always sided against me!

You look busy, so we'll just get out of your hair, so to speak.

You have no idea what you've started, sister!

I wanted my siblings to fight.

Just never thought I'd be caught in the middle.

Groot! We're in trouble up here, we could really use a lift!

Oh, hey, Gammy, so good to hear from you, but we got our own problems!

The fuel cells are empty and I got no way to jump-start the reactor...

Uh, Drax, what're you doing?

I do not know if this will work as well as a power vacuum, but we shall see!

Ah!

I am Groot!

Rocket: Whoa! Too much power. I can't slow down!

Rocket, if you're trying to teach me a lesson about leaving you behind, this is not the time.

Forget Rocket, get us out of this crossfire!

Okay. Ow... that did not work as well as I'd hoped.

It's about to get worse.

Here comes Korath.

Did I mention that I hate family reunions?

Tell me about it.

You will pay for this deception, sister.

(Screams)

Drax, stop feeding the d'ast reactor!

The ship's about to fry!

(Grunting)

(Both grunting)

I will be Thanos' general.

And I will start by destroying you!

Good luck with that.

(Groans)

(Sighs in relief)

Ah, crud.

Not now!

Don't worry, vermin. I'll find the cryptocube in your charred wreckage.

You will find nothing, ever again!

Ah!

Now I have done enough damage with that thing.

Time to go, guardians!

I must retrieve the universal w*apon!

Gamora: Inbound necrocraft!

Peter: Drax? Gotta leave it, buddy.

Thanos will be most interested in this.

(Groans)

This may not be the cryptocube, but it will certainly help me continue Ronan's mission.

Drax: One thing still troubles me.

If you never really betrayed us, why did Nova Corps report that you had returned to Thanos?

I tipped them off. Korath and Nebula had to think I had turned.

See? I knew she'd never s*ab us in the back.

True. If I really wanted to betray you, I'd s*ab you in the front.

I am Groot.

You said a mouthful, bud.

Next time you got some cockamamie plan like that, tell us first, then leave us out of it!

(Grunts in anger)

Hey, just so you know, I can keep a secret.

And I'll keep yours, you know, about how much Nebula and Korath know about the boom box.

My secrets have caused too much trouble already.

You should all know, I told Nebula about the star map on Quill's cryptocube.

Korath probably knows too.

Which means we have serious competition to find The Cosmic Seed.

But we've learned that if we work together, and trust each other, we can overcome any foe.

I cannot wait to meet Thanos' minions again.

It will only bring me closer to my revenge on the tyrant himself!

Uh-oh.

Yeah, we're hosed.