01x06 - The Concert

[bunniefuu]

Phyllis: The thing is I don't think Mommy's going anywhere anytime soon.

I know.

Well, Dr. Rapini says her Babinski reflexes are still very very strong.

There's no death rattle, her feet haven't turned blue, so her system isn't shutting down. ( ♪ )

It's all online, Janice.

Yep. The National Hospice Association has a checklist.

We do have good genes... except for the cancer and the depression.

I know.

I know you wanted to come.

Yak yak yak yak.

But, Janice, we've got to bury the hatchet.

We're gonna be co-executors of her estate.

I don't even like amber. I don't care.

You can have the bracelet.

But I definitely want the white sofa.

( ♪ ) You know, I have to tell you though, it's so meaningful being here.

It's so rewarding...

That I just... I've put serious thought into becoming a nurse or a social worker.

Oh, it's 10 till.

I gotta get out of here.

Oh, actually, we don't use that clock.

It's really a quarter after.

A quarter past?

Really?

sh*t! I got to get there. My flight's out of Ontario. I got to go.

Mom, I got to go, okay?

You be good now.

You just shape up, you hear me?

You hang in there, Mama.

All right, I'll be back before you know it. I promise.

For heaven's sake, Dawn, get your stupid clock fixed.

Yeah, we'll be fine.

We'll hold down the fort.

Season 1, Episode 6

"The Concert"

Jenna: Good good morning, Mrs. Meade.

How's the clavicle?

How are you doing today?

Awful. Just terrible.

And your nurses don't know a thing, especially that little tubby one there.

Jenna: Oh, now now now.

Is there something I can get for you, Cordelia?

You're the one that ate my egg!

Oh no, not I. 'Twas Dr. James who ate your egg.

Oh, but I don't eat eggs.

You stole my egg 'cause I saw you.

Now stop lying!

I did not eat your egg, said I.

Let's just drop the whole egg business.

You're in a bit of a green meanie, Mrs. Meade.

I don't think that it was Dawn that ate your egg.

That's not Dawn.

Well, I believe that it is.

Not the real one.

Jenna: Well, there's no other Dawn.

There was another Dawn here this morning.

( Stammers )

Oh, for heaven's sake.

All right, let's...

She's the one that ate my egg.

Let's order up another egg.

I have to get...

Oh, nurse, give me this happy menu.

Here you go.

Um, Dr. James? Darnell was wondering...

Yes?

Oh, good grief.

Oh my... oh, I...

I forgot we haven't paid you yet for the driveway.

Have we? How embarrassing.

And she asked me that yesterday too.

My bad. When I... every time I pull in, I truly enjoy the fresh cement.

So I'll write you a check just as soon as we finish the rounds.

But you wanted cash.

( Grunts ) Jenna: Perfect. Then I will definitely go to the...

During lunch. I will do that for you.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

If anyone is in need of cement work, I highly recommend Nurse Ortley's husband.

We redid our exterior drive, but I imagine he does interior work as well, Didi?

Uh, yeah, he does both.

Mrs. Sullivan?

Mrs. Sullivan!

Oh boy, I'm getting a four.

I've got a six.

What app are you using?

The standard GCS.

A three for eyes?

No, she didn't open for verbal.

Only a shout. Response to pain, three?

No, I give it a two, see?

Yeah, it's a four.

Oh boy. Dawn, a word?

Uh, the daughter still around?

No, she left for Sacramento.

All right. The patient's taken a definite turn for the worse.

I think we need to get her back.

Okay. But you did tell her yesterday that it was okay for her to leave today.

Right, that was yesterday.

Today I'm saying she needs to come back tout de suite.

It's just...

Are you arguing, Dawn?

Because I mean she slid from a GSC eight last night to a four.

We're... we're... we're talking a matter of hours at best.

Well, I'm not a doctor...

No, you're not.

So I think that the call should be made as soon as we're finished with rounds.

All right, thanks.

Gentlemen?

Phyllis, hi.

This is Nurse Forchette.

Dawn Forchette. Nurse Dawn Forchette at Mount Palms.

Yes, the thing is, your mom apparently has taken a turn for the worse.

And Dr... your mom is sliding.

She's sliding!

Um...

Yes, yes. Taken a turn for the worse.

A worse.

That's right.

And Dr. James thought that it would be good if you came back.

If you came back.

Hello hello?

( Dialing )

Phyllis, it's Dawn Forchette.

I'm just gonna talk really quick before we lose our connection. Your mom's taken a turn for the worse.

She's sliding and Dr. James thinks you should come back.

Your hair really is pretty.

( Grunts )

f*ck, sh*t.

I'm gonna park you right here until your physical therapy starts.

Dawn: Hey, can you give me a hand with this banner?

Yeah.

Dawn: Today's concert's gonna be the best one ever.

You haven't even noticed my bling yet.

Didi: Very pretty.

( Groans ) It's not real diamonds.

A little bit higher.

Are you getting up on that over there?

Here.

I'm not gonna... I don't want to throw myself into that today.

Why not?

I just... I want it to be even.

I know you're my boss, Dawn, but seriously?

Didi.

( Sighs )

Okay, the thing is, Patsy and I shared the deepest of intimacies last night.

What does that mean?

Well...

You know, some things are not meant to be discussed, Didi.

You had a**l sex?

Yeah, for like 10 minutes.

( Chuckles )

Ooh-whee.

Apparently it's really popular in Cuba.

What...?

We went to this gay bar first called Turnips, just to explore whether he's really gay or not, and there's was this really mean little hottie there who called him the Pillsbury Doughboy, so he cried.

( Chuckles )

And then I went home with him after to kind of talk him down, and then he just grabbed me and we had a**l sex.

You know what? I'm telling you, there's something to it.

Have you ever tried it?

No!

Well...

You can't sit there 'cause your hair looks bad.

I just went to the beauty parlor.

( Grunts )

Come back here!

Oh oh!

You ugly!

( Both grunting )

Excuse me, Mrs. Meade!

Mrs. Meade, stop it, stop it, stop it.

Stop it! Stop it right now.

Stop it! Stop it!

That women is a documented bully.

Left unsupervised, as a matter of law, we're on notice.

We're liable.

Insurance won't cover.

The payout for patient-on-patient as*ault...

One good chop from that forearm, we're ruined.

So let's keep her on a short leash, yeah? Okay, got it?

That's 10 years old.

( Laughs ) You look very good.

It's the same guy.

Paul!

Hi, Jenna.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

How you doing?

I'm good.

You have time for a coffee?

No. Listen, I have to dash, but I need to... I do need to give you a little heads up.

Okay, heads up are not good.

They want to schedule your interview for tomorrow... for your job, you know?

Well... hmm.

Jenna...

No, Paul. Don't make...

Jenna, it's the only day that's convenient for HR.

Well, I'm not sure that it's convenient for me.

Excuse me? You know the committee wants this to happen.

Well, I have to check my calendar.

Check your...

What do you mean? When?

When it's convenient for me to do so.

I have needs for convenience, too, my own convenience.

And I'd like to throw that into the mix of conveniences that everyone else is considering.

And I have other irons in the fire.

Wait wait. Wait a second. What are you talking about? You have other plans?

Yes. I have managed to "Make Someone Happy" elsewhere.

It's a place where there's no mysterious dark cloud hovering over me, and it's a place where there is respect and appreciation for my work, for the work that I do.

May I ask where?

I'm not...

I really shouldn't say.

Cleveland... with Dr. Rabinowitz as his protégé.

Dr. Hector Rabinowitz...?

Yeah.

Jenna: Dawn, it is never too late to learn.

Life is just not worth living, not without optimism and a belief that down the line there's a better place.

One may think that one's life is over and that opportunity has turned her face away, but life doesn't have to be a death sentence. Okay?

Uh-huh.

Call Mrs. Sullivan's daughter.

Tell her she doesn't need to travel back after all.

Her GCS is an eight. And it turns out there's a glitch in the app.

So I've spent the last few hours online with customer support, just reaming them out.

So anyway, tell the daughter she doesn't need to travel back in my opinion.

Um, I'm calling on behalf of Dr. James.

The doctor's opinion is that you no longer need to come back.

That's right.

You do not have to come back.

I know, you... absolutely have been completely inconvenienced by abrupt changes of medical opinion as the day's gone by.

Completely, I know.

I know.

I understand.

Um, you know, in many ways it is good news.

Oh, my head.

That wine.

May I have your dressing?

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Do you like my pin?

It is most special.

And this goes with it.

Look at what else.

I got some things for you too.

( Giggles )

I got you a matching pin, and a money clip.

Mm.

And a watch.

( chuckles )

Oh.

I got them last week, but I wanted to give them to you now...

You shouldn't have.

To celebrate our special night.

What do you mean "special night"?

Well, you know.

After we got back to your apartment last night.

The sex.

Sex? No.

We said no more sex after the Karmann Ghia.

No, last night was just a little cuddle.

Yeah, but after the cuddle, that was... that was sex.

( Chuckles )

You're saying we had sex?

I'm saying we had a**l sex...

a**l?

...which is an act of intimate love.

No.

No no no no no no.

It can't be.

I don't think so.

I have an a**l fissure to prove it.

I'm sorry?

I've got an a**l fissure.

Not from me, you don't. No.

How do you not remember?

I thought that you thought it was as special as I did.

I remember. I mean, I remember...

Getting to my apartment, the cuddle.

And you being really sad and me feeling sorry for you.

And then...

You...

Laying down on your front.

Yeah.

Oh my God, no.

Patsy, you know what we can do?

We could talk to a counselor?

No no. No. A counselor? No no no.

Someone who can help us to sort out all of these tempestuous feelings.

No counselor. You know, this is happening way too fast.

We've put too much into this relationship to just throw it out.

You know, everyone's got their issues and we're working through ours.

Okay, now I bought you a pin and you have no idea how much money I spent on it.

I didn't ask you for a pin, Dawn.

Yeah, I know. I wanted to pin you.

I have an a**l fissure, so we're dating.

Dr. James?

Yes?

Did you have a chance...

Oh my God.

I forgot the money again.

Oh, darn it. I'm so...

I just... I can get it to you next week. Is that okay?

I just... you know, time just flew.

Oh, okay.

And I'm... I'm so sorry.

I just... I went to lunch late.

The clock is all wrong, so we can settle up next week.

All right.

Dr. James?

Hmm?

I'm sorry.

You know, it's not okay.

Darnell did a great job for you at a really great price.

Mm-hmm.

And the least you could do is give us the money you owe.

I mean, of course that's my intention.

And I told you... didn't I say that he did a good job in front of witnesses?

I mean I feel like a beggar...

No.

...With my hand out.

Oh no, I certainly didn't...

And I want him to be paid for the work that he did.

And that's fair.

And I need that money, Dr. James.

We don't have money like that.

I got six kids that I'm trying to take care of.

And I don't know about you, but... ( slurps )

Okay.

And I...

Don't do this to me.

I'm truly sorry, Didi.

I'm gonna throw in a hundred, all right?

I'm gonna add... add in...

( groans )

Marguerite: Dawn? Come here.

Okay, when was the last breath?

Do you know?

It was like around 17 seconds.

Okay.

( Breathes deep )

16 seconds.

Did you reach Dr. James yet?

She's not answering her pages.

But I'm gonna get Phyllis back here.

I'm gonna get her back here right now.

This is ridiculous.

It's her mother.

She deserves to be here, if she isn't already on a plane to Sacramento.

Oh, what a complete freaking mess.

I see. No, I certainly understand.

Absolutely.

Our...

Hearts and prayers...

Yes, thank you.

( Crying )

Richard, it's me.

There has been a bit of a glitch with Cleveland.

Upsetting turn of events.

Hector Rabinowitz was hit by a taco truck in Dallas.

Um, at the moment, "persistent vegetative," I'm afraid.

Yes, very upsetting.

Would have been... yes, well, it would have been a very good move for me.

I know.

Well, I mean we've been all through that, so what's the point of rehashing it all now?

Yeah.

Yep yep.

Are you ready for her now?

Yeah.

I gave her a Xanax. She cannot be bathed without a Xanax.

Mrs. Meade: I hate soap.

My eyes are sensitive.

My skin is sensitive.

It comes up in just bumps.

Cordelia, this isn't soap, okay?

This is anti-bacterial cleanser.

It's very mild. I'm gonna do your back, Didi's gonna get your bottom, okay?

( Cellphone dings )

It's Dr. James.

Here, make sure you scrub under her breasts.

You gotta lift them up and really scrub under there.

Well well well, Mrs. Dayward. After all these weeks, here we are at last.

You're going home today.

Wish you all the best of luck in your sporting events.

Who knows, maybe we'll bump into each other at a marathon one of these days.

I'm afraid Susan's received a bit of bad news.

Susan: The physical therapist told me I'll never be able to run again.

I come in for minor surgery and I'm going out as crippled as Franklin Roosevelt.

Oh.

Can you put any weight on it?

No.

Oh no, it's too short.

Um, well, you can get around.

You... it's just...

Definitely you could initially hop.

If you took up power walking, something like that, you might find that that would take a lot of the pressure off the joints.

But if you want to win, then that's...

Probably off the table.

Why'd you mess with the lady's nice hair?

It was something so small.

That made you feel good, Cordie?

I'm 83 years old and I never had a thing.

Never had a thing and never will.

Mm.

Personally, I hate show-offs who do.

Maybe I'd like to have my hair done up once or have a private room.

I don't understand why that's not fair.

If you love me, I'll love you back.

I need to get out now.

No no, Cordie. We're not quite finished.

I have to go to the bathroom.

No, a little... just pee in the water.

It's okay.

Hm-mm. It's number two.

I have to do a BM.

sh**t. Dawn!

Cordie's got to use the bathroom.

Oh, it's coming.

No no no. Hold it, Cordie.

Squeeze, okay?

I'm trying.

Please, I'm trying.

Hold it.

No, squeeze.

Ohh!

Dawn!

Can you maybe...

I'll get a wheelchair.

Okay.

Ohh!

It's coming.

sh*t. Stupid thing.

Oh! Ohh.

Dawn! ( whirrs, splashes )

Ohh!

Bravo.

Well done, ladies.

14 stitches and it's going into an incident report.

They stripped me naked and tied me up in a chair.

You said you were coming back and you didn't, so that makes you responsible.

No way. I got very busy, and that's how things go here in the ward, so it's not my responsibility.

That black nurse... ignorant sassy lips.

She punched me.

And she hit me.

And she slapped me.

Okay.

You can't shut me up!

Patsy: You guys haven't sorted this out yet?

They are equally at fault and they both should sign.

You're my manager, so...

She's right.

Okay well, you're my manager.

Plus the equipment malfunctioned.

You know, it was broken.

That's true.

That's very true.

Didi has a very good point.

And taking care of equipment is your responsibility, doll.

Don't call me doll.

I'm uncomfortable with doll.

All right, all three of you are guilty, actually, and all three of your names are going on it right now.

No, you are in charge of equipment and equipment safety.

My equipment lists are up to date, but I need my Director of Medicine to sign off on them.

Oh oh oh, surprise surprise.

Here it comes rolling my way.

Patsy: The fact is I leave the requisition forms in your inbox, but you failed to sign them.

And you did page me, and that's what forced me to leave her all alone.

That's true.

Okay.

No no no. Don't run away.

You can't evade your responsibilities.

No, I guess I can't, not with all three of you ganging up on me.

It's another "att*ck Dr. James" day.

It's another "Let's all throw tin cans at Dr. James" and ascribe horrible motives to her."

( tearfully )

Please... Dawn?

Just, everybody else gets a second chance.

Everybody else gets the benefit of the doubt.

Dr. James... Dr. James has to be forever punished.

I... I have limits.

I have a limit.

( Whimpers )

Jenna?

Oh, Paul.

Oh, that's a touch of kismet.

I need to talk to you.

Oh, I need to talk to you too.

So why don't we... if we could have that coffee.

Yeah, it's just, earlier today I was perhaps a bit bold.

No, hey, I understand.

Got ahead of my skis, so to speak.

No no no no.

I understand.

You want to announce when you're ready to announce.

Yeah.

I get it.

Well, actually...

The thing is, Jenna, I want you to stay.

We can't lose you.

I'm going to make this interview nonsense disappear.

Bottom-line me, Jenna.

What do you need to make you stay?

To stay?

Yeah. You want more research time?

Do you want a research assistant?

Very doable.

Jenna, if you left I'd... I would be running this facility myself.

Oh, how could you possibly know that?

Well, when Dr. Ribaldi left, they wanted m...

He wanted you to be here?

But no.

Instead of...

No, I knew that you were the better fit.

And look how right I was.

Jenna... I could never fill your shoes.

Well...

Then I would definitely want a research assistant...

And more dedicated lab time.

Done.

And the hospital press...

I would want reprints of...

And I want my old parking space back, in the covered... structure.

Okay.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Okay.

I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. James.

Jenna: All right then. Take care.

Miss Marmoset?

It's Marmatan.

What are you doing here?

Phyllis: Uh, I'm being strong.

Mom's dying.

No no. She's not dying.

We have no present worries.

Her GCS is eight.

( Whispering ) They hear every word that you say, so I wouldn't be too suggestive or leading.

Okay, but I came back because somebody told me that I was supposed to come back.

Jenna: Dawn...?

Would someone please tell me what's going on here? Is my mother dying now?

Yes. Approximately.

No, she's asking now-now, not approximately-now.

Definitely not now-now.

You didn't get the message that you didn't have to come back today? Uh-huh? Yes?

No, I got the message, but then obviously I got the other message.

What other message?

I don't... I think that...

I... Dawn, do you want to clear this up?

Dawn: Sorry?

What is the situation with the daughter?

I did make some calls to you, didn't I?

I did that.

Yes, I got three calls.

Exactly. So as you suggested.

Okay well, there seems to have been a third call, and I'm just wondering did you... was that from yourself?

Yes, yes. I made that call on your behalf.

You did?

Dawn: Mm-hmm, yes.

I made a judgment call and went ahead and did that.

But then you spoke to a doctor, and I'm wondering which doctor that might have been.

Because it should have been me.

Oh, someone, please.

Is my mother nearly dying?

Is the approximately dead?

Minutes, days?

Quick, Dawn, I think we're keeping the daughter waiting.

I myself made the call.

You yourself? So you didn't actually speak to a doctor, did you?

Her breathing was very labored.

I'm truly sorry.

There's been a big misunderstanding.

Oh yeah.

In my judgment your mother's fine.

Do you realize you're driving me crazy?

You've had me driving back and forth, back and forth, back and forth all day long, okay?

I am beyond exhausted, beyond played out.

Beyond. Do you understand that, Dr. James?

Didi: Excuse me.

Your mother...

She just passed.

( Flatline tone )

She's gone.

She's barely gone.

Sit... again.

She's almost here.

( Flatline stops )

Can she still hear me?

Uh...

Dawn, Didi.

It's just so unpredictable...

When and how they choose to go.

I sat with my father for four days.

The minute I stepped out for a sandwich, the second I left, he... he...

He was waiting for me to...

Leave him alone.

I spoke to Mrs. Meade's son.

He's been apprised of her situation, and I'm happy to report that no charges are gonna be pressed.

Would you give that to Nurse Ortley for me?

Is there a receipt?

Could you hand that to Dr. James?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I was with my mom in the end.

She threw a juice carton at me.

Didi: The last two hours before my grandfather passed, he would not stop playing with himself.

And the grandkids all gathered around...

Just staring.

Yeah...

That's... that's jarring.

Didn't make him stop.

Is the bed taken already?

Yeah, Mrs. Davies, coming in after a hip replacement for a few days.

Okay. That's good.

( Piano playing )

♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Merrily merrily merrily merrily ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Life is but a dream ♪
♪ Merrily merrily merrily merrily ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Life is but a dream ♪

All: ♪ Merrily merrily merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dre...

( flourish, jazzy music playing )

♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream... ♪

Everybody!

♪ Merrily merrily merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dream... ♪

Got to row now!

♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Merrily merrily ♪
♪ merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but ♪
♪ A dream. ♪

( Applause )

Whoo!

Come on, Cordie.

You know you liked it, Cordie.

( Laughs )

Mrs. Meade: They got death panels in here.

They coming for us all.

This is "1984."