02x09 - US vs. UN vs. UK

[bunniefuu]

(rhythmic beeping and whooshing)

She's very weak, but most of the mucous has been suctioned from her lungs, she's breathing easier.

So we can remove the tube?

Goal is to have it out later today.

But once her lungs start filling with fluid, I want it back.

Walter. I want it back in.

Doctor: Of course.

I, um, have to finish my rounds, but I'll check on her again when I'm through.

Thank you.

(door opens)

(door closes)

I can't believe you got a court order to have your sister intubated.

I'm saving her life.

You know she didn't want the tube.

It scares her, it hurts her.

She's on pain meds.

Is that what you've come to?

Hiring a connected lawyer, bamboozling some emergency surrogate court magistrate in the middle of the night with your 197 IQ, having your sister declared unfit to make her own medical decisions?

Her decisions would've resulted in her dying before I could save her, so, by definition, she is unfit.

And if you had just gotten her to do the smart thing on her own, then none of this would've been necessary.

Walter, this is not your call.

Really? 'Cause I have a court order saying that it is.

What's this?

She said you gave it to her when you were kids.

Wanted you to have it even though it's not a Lamborghini.

Some day, I'll pay you back.

I'll take a Lamborghini.

Bright yellow.

Race you!

I'll get her a real one when she gets better, because she will... now that I'm in charge.

(rhythmic beeping)

Ray: What is that?

Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up!

Knees up! Knees up! Look at me. It's not the size of the fight in the dog that matters.

It's the size of the dog in the fight.

I think you got that backwards.

Please don't question the coach! Okay, thank you!

All right, we're gonna do 15 pushups right now.

Go! One.

What are you doing to my son?

Hey, Peggy. I'm just helping with his homework.

His report card was a tad subpar.

He gets straight A's.

Not in gym.

Ralph doesn't care about gym.

All boys care about gym.

It's Lord of the Flies in there.

And getting picked last is painful, trust me.

I'm not sure I like him telling you guys things instead of me.

He's one of us. We get him.

(Ray laughs)

Hey, what is all this?

Hey, Walt. I'm doing...

Oh.

Ralph!

You-you okay?

You all right, buddy?

I'm okay.

(car horn toots)

Oh. Carpool. Okay.

I got picked last a few times myself.

Don't let it bother you.

Come on, champ.

You're all right. Ease up.

Let's go.

Ease up. Come on.

How's Megan?

Oh, she'll get well.

Look, Walter, I know it's your nature to see a problem and want to solve it, but some things... there just aren't answers to, and I want to make sure you're preparing yourself emotionally for that.

You know, just in case.

(door opens)

Cabe: Come on, gather up.

We got a big one.

Oh, we can continue this.... later?

No need to.

I'll be fine, and... (clears his throat) ...Megan will be, too.

This is Olivia Cromwell, Director of British Intelligence, and this is one of her agents, Ian Gleason.

Since when do we work for MI6?

Cabe: Since I said so.

MI6 will be taking the lead on this case.

Homeland will provide support.

Toby: Are we headed to England for a spot of tea?

Cromwell: No.

New York, and there won't be any time for tea.

Our target is Jonas Madaky, Ambassador to the U.S. from the African nation of Buritan.

His title was acquired by a bribes so that he could travel with diplomatic immunity and avoid prosecution.

Prosecution for what?

Madaky's real profession is g*n runner.

He supplies internationally-banned weapons to w*r-torn nations in Latin American and Africa.

The "soldiers" in this photo are 14 years old.

The b*ll*ts inside them are Madaky's.

Why hasn't he been arrested?

Because what MI6 knows and what we can prove are two different things.

Madaky's a security obsessive.

He never travels without his own guards, often brings his own personalized security devices.

It's very hard to get near him.

But he's giving a speech at the UN. which provides an opportunity.

Cabe: The speech is a request for financial aid to his native land.

But the real reason for the UN visit is a covert meeting with Suuto Ali, a Delegate from Tesopo.

We believe they're making a plan to send Tesopo arms to take out tens of thousands of rebels who want a more democratic form of government.

Cromwell: I was an aid worker in Buritan. I've seen firsthand the suffering that Madaky and his weapons caused.

What is our mission?

When Madaky and Ali meet, they'll converse in a nearly extinct Koisan language.

Less than 12 people on earth can translate it.

There's limited source material, and it takes years to learn it.

Gleason is fluent.

Toby: A linguist who doesn't speak.

How ironic.

Gleason: I'm fluent in 60 languages, proficient in another 12.

Oh, really?

Do you know this one?

Your owtiebay is amelay.

Paige: Why a linguist?

Can't you just sneak a recording device or something?

Happy: No, recording isn't allowed anywhere in the UN except the General Assembly.

To keep everyone honest, they use auditory spectral masking-- white noise audiograms at frequencies you can't hear, but recording devices pick up.

You can record, but you just get static.

Cromwell: That's why you need to bypass UN security so that Gleason can get close enough to overhear the conversation between Madaky and Ali.

He'll decipher the when and where of the w*apon exchange.

We'll intercept it, arrest Madaky, and save innumerable innocent lives.

Can't MI6 and Homeland work with the UN Security Council to get access for your linguist?

Cooper: The evidence against Madaky was been obtained via illegal wiretap and satellite imagery.

It proves Madaky's evil, but it can't be used as the basis for a Security Council request.

Cromwell: Cooper and I will monitor you from the Homeland Security office in New York, while you use your brainpower to get Gleason inside the UN undetected.

Do this, and people live.

We have to do it without Sylvester.

I don't want her alone.

You guys okay with this?

I'm in.

The man helps kids k*ll kids.

Let's get him.

Walter: Chief Cromwell, what is security like?

The UN has three rings of security.

This outer ring is New York City, patrolled by NYPD-mounted SWAT.

Points around the outside of the building indicating cameras.

Happy, see what I see?

Okay, assume a 3.6 millimeter focal length, he'll get a blind spot right about here.

Paige: Well, why worry about blind spots?

You're a master at fake IDs. Whip something up.

I can make stuff that looks good, but official UN IDs have holograms that take days to counterfeit.

As soon as the cops swipe them through the readers, we're busted.

Well, standard SWAT formation places a mounted officer there so that blind spot doesn't help us.

Unless we can distract that horse.

They're prey animals. If we had pheromones from in-heat horses of both genders...

Ray: My buddy at the track can get us some horse pee.

Hey. I'm Ray.

Tell the queen I said, "What's up?"

Toby: Horses have schnozzes second only to dogs, so I can pour out the urine far enough away to not be seen, but close enough for the steed to smell it.

(neighing) As Trigger looks for his mating partner, we sneak past that first layer of security.

Cromwell: Next layer's trickier.

Full body scanners with state-of-the-art, triple rotation millimeter wave imaging.

That's here in this area, which is deemed Federal land.

Cabe: Well, you get caught there, it's off to Leavenworth.

Scanners aren't a problem.

It's not like we're carrying in g*ns or anything.

But we will be carrying items necessary to get us through the final layer of security that I'm looking at over here.

Now those items can't be spotted by the scanners.

No jumping ahead to the next phase please.

They're geniuses.

They always jump ahead.

I'm with Mrs. Doubtfire here.

I mean, who cares about the third step?

We're never gonna be able to get there if we have to sneak contraband past these high-end scanners.

I mean, how does that happen?

We're gonna get Paige pregnant.

What?!

Walter: We'll hide what we need in Paige's fake stomach.

Paige: Hold on. Won't the scanner see through my belly?

Happy: Not if I'm underground in an electrical conduit tunnel.

Step forward.

Happy: A few crossed wires, I short out the scanners with a power surge.

Happy now.

(electrical pop, electricity whirs down)

Looks like we lost power.

Ma'am, step through, please.

(electrical squeaking)

(squeaking)

Okay.

Go ahead.

The last security layer is within international jurisdiction.

Before you can be admitted to the UN proper, you've got to get past a biometric hand reader.

It maps the individual web signature of your palms.

Everyone's is unique.

How do they get past that?

Walter: Any nation not sending delegates to the conference?

Italy.

They've had trade issues with Buritan and won't attend as a protest.

Perfect.

Happy: Okay, I got a nice clear sh*t of the paw.

Toby: Laying over a color filter so blue deoxygenated veins stand out.

Walter: That is perfect.

Toby, you sure about your contact?

He's a top medical prosthetics researcher at NYU.

More importantly, he's a lousy card player. He owes me.

Hold on. I'm gonna be carrying fake hands in my stomach?

Toby: And we're gonna slip those fake hands on and use them to go right through the scanners.

(indistinct chatter)

Congratulations, Ms. Dineen.

It's quadruplets.

Paige: Won't people know what the Italian delegates look like?

Walter: Well, members of the General Assembly, yes.

But security guards see thousands of people pass there a week. They're just looking for a green light.

(beep)

Where do I fit in this plan?

You'll be with me, Professor.

Now, the city's electrical grid runs 8X RMC conduit to insure that the UN meets energy demands.

The tunnels to support that kind of work have to be right under the building.

And there are access panels to the UN's basement for electrical workers.

It's locked from the inside, but our team will let us in.

(door squeaking)

Man, it stinks down there.

Walter: Well, the UN was built over slaughterhouse dumps.

Those brass vents down there?

They're slow-releasing decades-old methane pockets.

That, or Cabe had jerky on the plane again.

Man: Hands up! Turn around!

(g*n chamber clicks)

Who are you?! What are you doing here?!

Take it easy. We're electricians.

We're doing an inspection.

More importantly, who are you, and what are you doing down here with a g*n no less?

I'm a security guard for Ambassador Madaky.

Stationed here in case anyone tries to harm him.

(grunting, blows landing)

What language was that?

What going on, Gleason?

As you've probably deduced, I'm not here to translate anything.

Bollocks, his accent switched from Colin Firth to Michael Caine.

Is anything about you real?

Yes.

My conviction.

I'm here to assassinate Ambassador Jonas Madaky.

And all of you are gonna help me.

♪ Scorpion 2x09 ♪
US vs. UN vs. UK
Original Air Date on November 16, 2015

Seriously, Doc? You couldn't read that this guy was crooked?

MI6 is trained to not be readable.

It's like the CIA, but with crumpets.

All right now, close the door.

(door squeaking shut)

Cromwell: Gleason?

What's your status?

Well, we ran into one of Madaky's men, but he was dispatched.

Scorpion has been advised of the new arrangement.

What new arrangement?

Happy: Arrangement of them screwing us.

I'm sorry, Deputy Director, but Madaky is just too valuable a target for us to let this opportunity pass by.

Cabe: They want us to help assassinate him, Katherine.

Cromwell, this mission of yours ends now.

Need I remind you, you are on U.S. soil.

Indeed.

But they're on international soil.

And your team is on film entering the UN under false pretenses.

So it's a matter of time before they're identified.

And then they will be arrested and tried for m*rder in the International Court in the Netherlands.

I don't know who you think you're working with, but we're not K*llers.

I know exactly who I'm working with.

Now, I don't want to strong-arm you, but I have orders to forbid you to walk away from this.

You played me from our first meeting.

What choice did I have?

Your team would never have agreed to this unless they were painted into a corner.

Now, it may be distasteful, but I am willing to trade my ethics for Madaky's heartbeat.

Please don't underestimate what I'm willing to do to see this happen. Don't make me send you to prison.

We have no choice.

I'm glad you see it our way.

Now, I suggest we find a secluded conference room upstairs, and I'll fill you all in.

Since I'm MI6, you follow my lead.

MI6, MI6.

Big deal. They're barely better than MI5, and they're half as good as MI12.

Chief Cromwell, are we connected?

Yes.

Are you in a secure location?

Walter: Secure for now.

But every moment that we're here increases our chances of being caught.

So I suggest that you present your plan, and we will advise if we can help.

Directness appreciated.

Our Intel believes that Madaky and Ali will make their deal on the 15th floor in a locked meeting room.

Now, these rooms have no cameras for confidentiality, and no one will be there save for Madaky, Ali, and some of their men.

So when b*ll*ts fly, no innocents will get hurt.

I enter with my head down so hallway cameras can't read my face, dispose of my target, and exit.

Sounds like you've got it figured out. Why do you need us?

Remember how we said Madaky liked to travel with personal security accoutrements?

One of these is a high-level security door he has his advance team install.

Now, I need you to hack the computerized lock so I can enter that meeting room with an element of surprise.

And I need you to hurry.

Madaky speaks before the General Assembly in an hour, and we're certain he's gonna want to get back to Africa as soon as possible.

He won't dally.

There's a good chance his meeting with Ali is taking place right now.

Walter, what are you doing?

Hacking into Madaky's laptop.

The odds are the software that programs his door lock is on it.

You're really gonna help k*ll a man?

No. I'm gonna help open a door, and then we get the hell out of here. Whatever Gleason does after that is his responsibility.

Toby: That's a moral rationalization if I ever heard one.

Do you want to get locked up overseas?

Do you want to see Ralph again?

Then let me work.

(indistinct chatter)

(moans softly)

Hey.

Hey, you're awake.

(hoarsely): Water.

Water. Yes.

Remember, you have to take small sips.

Please... Sylvester... never again.

The intubation?

Megan, Walter has a court order.

Please...

Okay.

I'll find a way.

Have you found a way?

I'm into his system.

Well, hurry up!

Shouting at me and waving your g*n does not help.

O-kay, this is bad.

Gleason, you need to see this.

Cromwell: What? What is it?

What did he find?

Is this for real?

I'm afraid so.

Not good.

I asked you a question, Gleason.

What's the problem?

I can't unlock the door.

What do you mean you can't unlock the door?

Can you hear me?

Why can't you unlock the door?

Madaky's door lock is air-gapped. But there is a stand-alone keypad that connects to the interior of the door via Ethernet cable.

You punch a password directly into it to open the door.

Gleason?

Yeah, he's telling the truth.

I saw the specs myself.

Happy: Uh, guys, things just got worse.

I've hacked the security cameras on the 15th floor hallway.

Look.

Cabe: All right, the deal's done.

We're too late. We got to go before we get busted.

Like hell it's too late.

My team has done what it could.

I'm under direct orders from Downing Street to do whatever is necessary to complete my objective.

Now, if that means locking your entire team up and throwing away the key, then that is what I will do.

I'm sorry, Deputy Director.

This is not personal.

I am simply doing my duty.

I'm gonna find a bathroom.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Okay. We've got to come up with a new idea.

I recall from the blueprints that the seventh floor is nothing but HVAC, electrical, and plumbing.

There's no surveillance.

Gleason can do the hit there.

Except Madaky's speech is in less than an hour.

He's probably on his way to the green room to wait his turn to speak. He won't stop on the seventh floor.

Like hell he won't.

Over here!

This is crazy that we're doing this, right?

Well, psychologically speaking, "crazy" is a catchall for a myriad of pathologies and circumstances, but, yeah, this is nuttier than a fruitcake.

Okay, Walt, I've got control of the elevator.

Just tell me when.

Okay.

They just stepped onto the elevator.

I'll stand by here in case Madaky gets past you.

All right, Walter, I know this is a last resort, but it's gonna be over soon.

Paige: He's almost on the seventh floor.

Are you sure you can do this?

Uh, no. Okay, Happy, now.

What the hell?

Okay, I flip the switch and then we hustle. Ready?

Go!

(elevator dings, bell rings)

O'Brien, it's stuck.

Yeah, I know.

There's a slight glitch.

(g*nshots)

(g*nshots)

Okay. Got the doors open.

(elevator dings)

(grunting)

(shouts, groans)

(grunting)

(g*nshots)

(grunts)

(panting)

I'll check him for an I.D.

This isn't the first attempt on my life.

Assassins do not carry I.D.

I will contact the General Assembly, tell them there is a thr*at and we are leaving immediately.

You'll do no such thing!

Word gets out there's been an attempt on my life, it brings attention.

People I do business with do not like attention.

I will address the General Assembly as scheduled.

Then we will leave.

I will let nothing jeopardize my deal with Ali.

What about him?

Toss him in there.

Cromwell: What's happening?

I need an update.

Tell Cromwell that Madaky's still alive.

Gleason's dead.

They just put his body down the incinerator.

(sighs) I'm sorry about the elevator.

It was my fault.

There could've been some tics in my wiring.

Cromwell: It doesn't matter whose fault it was.

Gleason was a top agent and a good man, m*rder*d by a bastard.

You just lost your assassin.

My team is in jeopardy just being in that building. I need to pull them out now.

No, we're finishing the job.

We're doing what now?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we can convince the mean British lady not to send us to jail.

No.

Madaky just threw a human being down an incinerator sh**t like he was garbage.

This is a man who supports mass killings and genocide, and, what, we're just gonna let him go free to do it some more?

We're not MI6 or the CIA.

Yeah, we're geeks.

What is the point in us having these abilities if we don't use them to stop what's bad in the world?

Greater good.

But, Walter, you are not a m*rder*r.

This is not m*rder-- this is self-defense.

We're protecting the world.

Now, Madaky is scheduled to give his speech in 14 minutes.

He's probably already down in the green room.

Once he gives that speech, he's gone.

I have an idea how to take Madaky out, if we're all in.

I can't believe I'm doing this, but that was a pretty rousing speech.

We're a team, so yeah.

I hope you know what you're doing.

I do.

But my plan depends on Happy finding hard salami casings down in the commissary.

Salami casings?

They contain potassium nitrate.

They're making a b*mb.

Not a b*mb. A small, directionally designed charge.

Just enough to take Madaky out without causing serious damage to anyone around him.

You thinking his briefcase?

Exactly.

Now, we'll swap his laptop for a charge of almost identical dimensions and size so that he will not feel the change in weight.

Leave that to me. Doc, can you meet me backstage at the General Assembly in five minutes?

Copy that.

Walter, can you manipulate temperature controls in here from your laptop?

I've controlled satellites from this computer before.

I can handle a thermostat.

Okay, crank the heat by the southwest Security Check on the second floor.

Paige, you come with me.

♪ ♪

Oh, yes.

Happy, you almost done?

I'm sorry I'm not making a b*mb out of salami fast enough for you.

Actually, you're not.

Madaky goes on right after the Polish delegate's speech, and that guy's up next.

Yeah, well, let's hope Cabe's stall tactic works then.

Yeah.

I'm working on that right now.

(indistinct chatter)

Damn thing's busted.

Scusa.

Come Si dice...

(Italian accent): Uh, I lost my watch. My wristwatch.

Oh. Okay, sir.

What you want to do is you want to go to the Lost and Found.

It's at the Visitors Desk on the first floor.

Grazie, grazie, grazie.

Mr. President, ministers, your excellencies, and ladies and gentlemen, (speaking Polish) it is my honor to welcome you...

Excuse me, ma'am, you're needed to translate over at the security council meeting at the conference building.

But I was assigned here.

Understood, but the translator dropped out and we want a senior linguist to handle the meeting.

A replacement will be sent to the Polish delegate shortly.

Okay, if you say so.

Sir.

(line ringing) You're up, doc.

Drag it out.

This is Ray.

Hello, Ray. It's Toby.

Hey, doc.

What's happenin', cap'n?

Your last name's Spiewack, right? Is that Polish?

As Polish as a bratwurst.

That's German, dummy. Look, do you know any Polish at all?

I was raised by my Grandma Etoile.

And that's French.

Look, we're on a case and we're in a bit of a bind.

You're gonna hear some people in the background speaking Polish.

I got my phone linked into my comm.

I'm gonna need you to translate it back to me in English.

De nada, amigo.

Now we have Spanish.

Remind me to punch you when we get back.

Moderator: Thank you, Ambassador Daroolay.

Now speaking, Ambassador Marik Kaluza of Poland.

Okay, Ray, we're on.

Okay.

Been while since I've spoken Polish.

(speaks Polish)

(speaks Polish)

Cabe, I can only delay this for so long.

Cabe: Just do what you always do-- refuse to shut up.

(speaking Polish)

Ray: Um, uh... distinguished, uh, people... members of the General Assembly.

Wait, hold on a second-- holy cow, are you at the UN?

Distinguished members of the General Assembly, what a privilege and an honor it is to speak to you today in this great institution that-that is the United Nations.

b*mb's ready. Three types of cleaning solution, two pounds of salami parts and one baking tin.

I am done.

Paige, you are up.

Roger that.

Hi.

Who are you?

Makeup.

For your speech.

I don't need makeup.

The UN is recording today's session for their archives.

Uh, they have new lights over the stage-- makes everyone shiny.

Please, I get in trouble if I don't do my job.

And we can't have the most handsome delegate not looking his best.

Okay, come.

Do what you do.

Great, I'll just get my stuff and get to it.

Happy. How's it look?

Like a TV dinner that goes boom.

Good work.

Someone fill me in, please.

On our way to the green room with the completed b*mb.

It runs via chemical- kinetic reaction, so once I shake it up, we have 15 minutes until it detonates.

Okay, well, you better get it in that green room before Madaky leaves, because otherwise you lose your only opportunity.

And I'm not sure this Polish delegate's speech can be dragged out much further.

(speaking Polish)

Ray: Okay, uh, at this point, I would like to talk about the United Nations Children's...

Fund?

At this point, I would like to talk about the United Nations Children's Fund, because when you think about it, children really are the future.

I say, teach 'em well, let them lead the way.

Happy: We need more time, doc.

Actually, children often don't know where they're going.

Because the hippocampus isn't fully developed un-until you're much older.

That-that's what controls your sense of direction.

Go ahead.

Okay, almost done, except I'm out of concealer.

Just be a minute.

I'm gonna have my assistant Ursula come bring me what I need.

(phone dings)

"Ursula, bring me concealer."

Huh.

I don't look like an Ursula.

Okay, this is it.

You ready?

No.

Too bad.

Reaction's begun.

And you're giving it to me.

Yeah, and you better hurry, because in less than 15 minutes, that b*mb goes off.

Unless, of course, the reaction accelerates, and then you have a lot less.

And I get to hold it.

Fantastic.

You know, the light is terrible.

Do you mind moving over there?

Fine. Make it quick.

Okay.

Ursula.

Finally. If you can't work faster, you can't work for me.

Sorry, ma'am.

Here, put this base back in my bag and go help with the Norwegians on the third floor. Give them some color.

(Madaky clears throat)

Bodyguard: This Polish delegate is an idiot.

Okay, I'll be right upstairs, boss.

Whatever.

This kind of thing we're doing isn't exactly our style.

You sure about all this?

Yeah.

I'll be fine.

Headed to the basement now.

You get into position and wait for Paige.

Things are about to get crazy.

We passed crazy a long time ago.

Okay.

I thank the Assembly for their time today and, uh, their attention to-to this important platter.

Matter.

It's not platter. Tob...

I thank the Assembly for their time today and attention to this important matter.

And I would like to take this moment to address the unfair percentage of ethnic jokes directed to the Polish people.

For the record, we have the formula for ice cubes and it takes only one of us to screw in a light bulb.

(whispers): Thank God.

That's all. Thank you for your time.

Don't forget to tip your waiters.

Moderator: Thank you, Ambassador Kaluza.

Speaking next, Ambassador Jonas Madaky of Buritan.

(applause)

(clears throat)

Members of the General Assembly, it is an honor to speak to you today on the subject of the continuing crisis in Buritan.

Sorry I'm late.

Toby had me tied up with a case.

You know how it is with Scorpion.

Did you grab what we need?

I am so sorry.

I couldn't get it on such short notice, but I did grab a couple Band-Aids.

You guys ready?

Well... let's burn this bacon.

According to my calculations, we should have detonation in approximately five, four, three... two, one.

Good-bye, Jonas.

And now, with the civil w*r in Tesopo driving hundreds of thousands of refugees...

What the hell happened, O'Brien?

I assume not enough potassium nitrate in the salami rind to set off a reaction.

But I have a backup, we'll get Madaky before he leaves the building.

Madaky: As you well know...

Where are you going?

I'm sorry, Katherine.

I'm going to arrange a car.

I have to personally detain them if they fail in this mission.

Sending financial aid to Buritan is not just a political necessity, it is a moral responsibility.

Thank you.

Got eyes on him. They're in the east stairwell headed toward Madaky's chopper on the roof.

One of his men is carrying his bag.

Aah!

Man: B Team, move in.

sh**t to k*ll!

Whoever tried to k*ll me before must've sent more men.

Secure the chopper!

Head 'em off at the pass!

We can't get to the helicopter.

Call the car.

We'll meet in the garage.

Head 'em off at the pass-- who are you, Roy Rogers?

Oh, Happy was right-- it stinks down here.

Okay, they're headed to the northeast parking structure right above me.

Okay.

One, two, three.

They set expl*sives.

We're under att*ck.

Tell the driver to meet us by the parking ramp on the east side of the building.

Now go!

(sirens wail in distance)

Hear those fire trucks. They'll think it's a gas line break.

Walter's brilliance still surprises me.

Yeah, don't celebrate yet.

We still don't know if his plan'll work.

Uh, we'll know soon enough.

You ready?

Light him up.

(engine starts)

Now.

(engine revving)

Madaky.

Hey, did you guys see me on stage?

I think I should run for office.

What do you mean he's getting away?

Madaky's limo's driving away, along the river.

We missed him.

If you want to catch him yourself then you better drive faster.

Toby: Okay, guys, let's go.

Madaky: Hurry up!

There's a car following us.

What the hell are you doing?

Why are you stopping?

Driver?

Ambassador.

I saw you sh*t.

I dumped your body.

I'm a ghost. Boo.

(tires screech)

You're not going anywhere, pal.

Homeland Security.

You're under arrest.

You can't arrest me.

You have no authority here.

The UN is international soil!

From the stairwell to the expl*si*n, we took out your guys, manipulated you to our limo, and then drove you right here, 20 feet over the federal line of jurisdiction.

Makeup girls.

You should have used more concealer-- maybe we wouldn't have found you.

Comedy really isn't your thing.

(tires screech)

Why is he still alive?

Hello, boss.

Cooper: Why is he still alive?

Someone fill me in now.

Gladly.

But I think it's best we let our Houdinis explain how they pulled off their sleight-of-hand.

For starters, only the first three rounds in Gleason's g*n were real.

The rest were blanks, made by Happy.

She simply removed the lead b*llet from the shell, leaving only powder in the cartridge.

All the bang with none of the death.

Then all I had to do was excuse myself from the conference room...

I'm gonna find a bathroom--

I think I'm gonna be sick.

...sneak to the kitchen... a little corn syrup, food coloring-- instant bloodbath for under Gleason's shirt.

And I've beaten Muay Thai masters in Bangkok, so making that fight go exactly the way I wanted was a walk in the park.

I disarmed the guard so the g*n with blanks

(silenced g*nshots)

was the only one in play.

Made him think he'd sh*t me in the stomach after I directed the fisticuffs to right in front of the incinerator chute.

First Tenet of Behavioral Decision Making-- when faced with a rapid-panic scenario, the most convenient option is always taken.

I knew if you had to dispose of the body you'd shove it in the first barrel, closet or trash chute that you saw.

Happy: And going down the incinerator chute doesn't necessarily mean you end up in the incinerator.

Okay, I flip the switch and then we hustle. Ready?

Go!

(grunting)

Gleason: Whoa... oh!

(groans) You couldn't have found anything softer to break my fall?

Since m*rder isn't covered under diplomatic immunity, you're out of luck, Ambassador, because I've captured it all right here on tape.

Digital.

Shut up.

But he isn't really dead.

No body, no homicide.

Oh, there's physical evidence down there, enough to make a case.

You cut off your finger?

Happy: MI6 is so badass.

Madaky: Fine.

My army of lawyers will get me out of here, and I'll pay mercenaries to come into this country and track each of you down.

Oh, not unless making license plates pays a lot more than I think it does.

When we switched out your laptop for the b*mb-- which was no more than a homemade stun grenade on a timer meant to take out one of your guards--

I hacked into all your encrypted bank accounts.

According to my calculations, we should have detonation in approximately five, four, three, two, one.

Your cupboards are bare now, Madaky.

But the good news is, all your money has been donated to refugee charities of w*r-torn nations that you decimated.

So generous of you.

Get this guy out of here.

Who are you people?!

Oh, we're the guys you picked last in gym class.

What about all these moralistic debates about k*lling?

Walter: Cromwell was listening on speaker.

Didn't want her to catch on, so... we acted.

Toby: Figured how hard could it be if actors could do it?

What about you, Gleason?

Why did you go along with it, instead of following orders and taking out Madaky?

I suspect because he discovered that I was in business with Madaky.

It was when you hacked into his computer to open the security door, wasn't it?

This is bad. Gleason, you need to see this.

Cromwell: What? What is it?

What did he find?

Is this for real?

Walter: I'm afraid so.

Happy: Not good.

Cromwell: I asked you a question, Gleason.

What's the problem?

I can't unlock the door.

What do you mean you can't unlock the door?

Cromwell is in bed with Madaky, but with the minds in this room, we can take her down and get Madaky, too.

You just need to decide whether you can trust us within the next two seconds.

Cromwell: Gleason, can you hear me?

Why can't you unlock the door?

One second.

Madaky's door lock is air-gapped, but there is a stand-alone keypad that connects to the interior of the door via Ethernet cable.

You punch a password directly into it to open the door.

Yeah, he's telling the truth.

What happened, Chief?

All those years doing African aid work, you decide to finally get yours, team up with Madaky and then take him out so you don't have to share the profits?

Well, you figured it out, and you're not even a genius.

I'd hoped to avoid all of this, but you lot are too smart for your own good.

So now Deputy Director Cooper will pay the price.

Come on, Deputy Director, you're my passport to freedom.

I will sh**t.

Shoulder lock, jaw tension, sh**t's measured breathing-- she's not bluffing.

Cooper: Come on, Cromwell, sh**t me!

Uh, neither is Cooper.

You...

(gasps)

Cooper: Don't worry.

She's empty.

Toby: I can't wait to hear this explanation.

When she went to get the car, I unloaded her g*n.

When did you know she was dirty?

I know my team.

There's no way you're going along with an assassination plot.

It had to be theater for someone's benefit.

Madaky's gonna count the minutes until he can testify against you.

Wow. Not that his testimony is necessary.

What's in his laptop should put you in that Dutch cell you threatened to put these boffins in.

And I can't wait for that to happen.

You're a disgrace to MI6 and all it stands for.

Cabe: Let's go.

(sirens wailing in distance)

Walter: You better get going, too, Gleason.

Police and fire trucks arriving.

It's pretty high-profile stuff for a secret agent who's supposed to be dead...

Gleason?

He's so badass.

Newswoman: It's all in connection with Ambassador Madaky, who has been charged with the m*rder of an MI6 agent inside the UN General Assembly building.

(TV clicks off)

Hey-hey, Ray!

Hey, Wally!

You guys are on the TV.

Well, kind of.

They didn't mention you.

They rarely do.

Went all the way to New York and didn't even catch a show.

Walter: Yeah, well, maybe next time.

Are you going somewhere?

To see Megan.

(groans) Shirt stinks of methane.

(chuckles)

Thank God. Thought Cabe got into the jerky again.

(chuckles)

It's just, we jumped through so many hoops today, you know, performing for Cromwell... faking a death, risking our lives-- all to avoid k*lling an evil man.

Greater Good says it should be an easy call, and so why... isn't it?

Because... you're becoming more and more human, and... humans shouldn't treat death casually.

Death is difficult.

Right, Walter?

Hmm.

I'm tired.

It's been a long day.

Um, can you give me a lift to see Megan?

Oh, sure.

What's going on?

Why is she not intubated?

I left you here to take care of her.

I am taking care of her.

I'm giving her what she wants.

It's not your call.

My court order supersedes anything that anyone wants.

Not anymore.

We didn't have time to get rings.

♪ ♪

Y-You got married?

Ray's a licensed minister with the Immaculate Church of the Internet.

Your court order gave you control over Megan's medical decisions because she didn't have a spouse or offspring.

Well, I am her spouse now.

And if she doesn't want to be intubated, then she doesn't have to be.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

Thank you for the car.

Came in handy today.

But you've always been there for me, haven't you?

Ever since we were little.

I can't fail you when it's my turn.

Walter, doing what she wants isn't failing her.

You're right.

If intubation causes her pain, then, uh... it's over-- no more.

But Megan is... strong, and I know that she'll hold on until my research is done, so...

I know I can preserve her life.

So I won't stop trying.

Good.

I don't want you to, because I love her.

I know you do.

♪ ♪

Walter, where are you doing?

To save her life.

I don't treat death casually.