01x08 - Bottles

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Casual"...

Children always blame their parents for their problems.

It's the easiest way to avoid responsibility.

Have you met Drew's new partner?

I've not.

But you should so you can unburden yourself, start fresh.

I'm just about to cook dinner.

You want to come over?

You don't have to do that.

I know. I want to.

I have a thing.

What thing?

With Emmy.

Who's Emmy?

Oh, the girl with the boyfriend?

It's complicated.

It's not complicated.

You're her mistress.

Michael?

[laughter]

Mom?

Oh, sh*t.

It was supposed to be me.

Ple... Honey, where are you going?

Home.

Uh, that's not gonna fit.

It'll fit.

I don't...

Told you.

No potatoes?

f*ck potatoes.

Mac and cheese.

Amen.

How did she sound?

Uh...

There were undertones of rage.

Subtle, but distinct.

She's punishing me.

Well, you did sleep with the man of her dreams.

Ugh, please don't.

You talk to Drew?

Briefly.

Yeah? Anything?

What's he gonna say?

Oh!

[sighs] I just want her back.

Okay. Once she walks in, we won't let her out.

How?

Zone defense.

Zone defense?

Against a formidable opponent.

We got to work as a team.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, sh*t.

Who's that?

My package guy.

You got a package guy?

I got a guy for everything.

What's in the box?

All part of the plan.

What plan?

A really good plan.

What?

A crafty one.

Probably the best plan I've ever come up with.

Hi. There we go.

Very good. Don't eat any.

[chuckles] Bye.

I can't get it out of my head...

"He was supposed to f*ck me."

I mean, it's histrionic. It's borderline delusional.

Oh, no, none of that.

What?

None of that psychobabble. Today you are a fun mom.

You put on a bright smile, push that pain down nice and deep, and pretend to be pleasant.

Don't even mention his name.

She needs to talk about it.

Oh, she will.

Trust me, these things don't go away.

Hey...

Huh?

We got this.

Me and you... in the zone.

That's right.

[doorbell rings]

Remember, big smile.

Hi, Laura.

Hi, Valerie.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, you remember Mae-Yi, right?

Valerie, it's nice to meet you.

What is... uh...

Oh, you know what? That's my fault.

I totally thought I texted you.

[sighs]

Mae-f*cking-Yi?

Deep breaths. We're okay.

I don't think I'm okay.

I feel like my hands are numb.

We're okay.

I don't know how I'm gonna...

You're just gonna...

I don't even... What does... what does that mean?

Focus. Head in the game.

Mae-Yi?

How about a tour of the house?

Oh, I don't really...

Sure you do.

Yeah, let's go this way first.

Okay.

Watch the wine.

Be careful you don't trip.

[clears throat] I've missed you.

Hey, you want to see my room?

And here's the lovely backyard.

So then I had this little place off Abbot Kinney.

Thought I'd do the whole surf-bum thing, but it turns out I don't like surfers or bums.

Uh-huh.

You ever spend any time around those people?

Bums?

Westsiders.

Oh. Uh...

No, not really.

Don't. 405 to the ocean's a dead zone.

I like Santa Monica.

You'll grow out of that.

[cell phone chimes]

Oh.

So what do you think of the foliage?

I think it's mostly conifers.

Those are, you know, the ones... ones with the cones.

You don't have to just keep me busy.

You know that, right?

What? Mae-Yi, we're bonding.

Excuse me.

She's really angry.

Val, she's a teenager.

She's an anger factory. All she's saying is, "Love me".

Those aren't the words I'm hearing.

Just go talk to her.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello, hello.

Very shrewd.

What?

Your little care package.

Oh, you mean the cake pops?

Did you do that to piss Jake off?

Jake doesn't like cake pops?

No. He doesn't like reminders of you showing up at our door.

You know he has rules about the holidays.

For such a free spirit, he's awfully traditional.

[scoffs] You knew exactly what you were doing.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

But now that I got you, what are you doing for dinner?

Actually, this is one of my favorites, just 'cause of the shadow.

It just took, like, hours to get to that point.

You'd have to figure that's exactly twice as long.

Yeah.

Uh, um, hey.

So, I-I think we can all agree it's time for Laura to get back to living in a stable environment, huh?

Oh, definitely. Uh, let me just get it straight.

First, it was the waffle guy, and then there was the waiter... nicely done, by the way... and then the d*ck pic?

Okay, so you were talking about my sex life?

I've been trying to, but it's quite the saga.

Oh, saga? Sorry, what are you getting at?

You're the one talking about a stable environment.

Mae-Yi and I are trying to make a home together.

You can't make a home in my house.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Actually, I think we need to finish talking about this.

It's fine. We both needed the chance to explore.

Uh, wait. You cheated. I'm dating.

f*cking is f*cking.

No, it isn't.

Grandma, hi. Where's your boyfriend?

He's parking the car. [gasps]

Valerie, Drew. [chuckles]

What is happening?

[whispering] "Boyfriend"?

No, no, no.

Why?

Oh, Mom, Mom. Be careful.

Oh... Honey, I am so sorry.

That looked like such a lovely casserole.

But I brought your favorite... mashed potatoes.

Oh. I can take care of this.

Did you know she was coming?

No.

So you invited her?

Trying to punish everyone?

[door opens]

Hello, hello.

[door closes]

Oh. [chuckles]

That's no boyfriend.

That's your grandfather.

My God... [chuckles]

Look at you.

Have you...

[inhales deeply] My lovely children.

You know, there's no joy that's greater in a man's life than when his family comes together in celebration.

I already know what I'm thankful for.

[scoffs]

When's the last time you saw him?

I don't know... ten years.

Boyfriend?

I didn't even know they were talking.

It's an act, right? I mean, it has to be.

Do you think he's dying?

Looks okay to me.

Yeah, but you can't tell from the outside.

For all we know, there could be some horrible disease that's just ravaging his organs.

One can only hope.

Hepatitis.

Dementia maybe?

[whispering] sh*t. Incoming.

What?

Incoming.

So... this is where you've been hiding?

Yeah, you found me... in my house.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

So, uh, Nicaragua?

Arcata.

Running a sort of an eco-lodge there.

Sustainable permaculture, you know?

The natives really embraced it.

Your mother told me about what happened... how your depression got the best of you.

I'm sorry I wasn't here in your moment of need.

You could have called, Dad.

We were living off the grid.

Phones just weren't part of the equation.

Well... doing fine now.

Well, there you go. You see, that's it.

That's it. That's the spirit.

Yeah, one of those. Unh.

Ooh! It's hot.

She cooks?

It's takeout.

She refused to show up empty-handed.

You realize this is hard for her too, right?

Look, I just want to get Laura back to her normal routine.

I don't know what normal is, and we agreed that she could stay where she wants.

She doesn't know what she wants.

Are you sure?

You know, maybe she stays with me and Mae-Yi, and then for a while, you can focus on yourself.

Maybe that's for the best.

[door opens]

[clears throat]

I need this drink so bad.

Holy f*ck.

He's stronger than ever.

I think he's been feeding on livestock.

This is all your fault.

My fault?

Yes!

Now I look like I'm the irresponsible one, not Drew.

He thinks I'm this... thing.

Val, that's ridiculous.

I am not ridiculous.

Okay.

Look at her... mocking me with her noodles.

Will you talk to her?

Laura?

Yeah. She loves you.

She does, doesn't she?

[cell phone chimes]

Oh, f*ck.

What?

You remember Sarah Finn?

Uh, from college?

Yeah, she met Mom and Dad, had a nervous breakdown, had to be institutionalized.

She had schizophrenia.

Yeah, that they triggered.

Well, it doesn't work like that.

[doorbell rings]

Tell her that. Oh, wait, you can't.

She only listens to radio signals in her teeth.

Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait.

More guests?

Yes. An opportunity arose.

Whose team are they on?

Val, the "Titanic" is sinking.

It's every man for himself.

What about the plank?

The plank?

The plank. Jack puts Rose on the plank.

I saw that movie five times.

Oh, at the end?

There's only room for one f*cking person on that plank.

Move!

Ow!

Oh.

Oh. Good to see you too.

Oh, hi. You must be Emmy.

Valerie? Thank you so much for having me.

Well, who have we here?

Uh, this is Alex's girlfriend.

Huh.

You know, the last girlfriend we met was, uh...

Sarah Finn.

And she was a lovely girl... Sarah.

Whatever happened to her?

She d*ed. Come on.

My parents are crazy too. Everybody's parents are crazy.

It happens when they hit 65.

Is that right, or are they always crazy, and it just takes us 30 years to notice?

[chuckles]

I'm thankful you're here.

I know you are.

Also...

I'm thankful for these.

Oh, and this.

[laughs]

But most of all, I'm thankful for...

Oh, yeah, and this.

[chuckles]

Okay.

[sighs] Dad.

You know, I really have to say, old boy, you've done well for yourself.

I mean, this house, business, girlfriend.

Truly, it's everything we wanted...

Dad. What do you want?

Oh, uh, sorry about that. Turkey's ready.

Well, see you downstairs.

Yes.

[door closes]

He touched my g*dd*mn turkey.

You carved it?

It still cooks when it's out.

There's 23 minutes left.

You and your computers.

Listen, sometimes you just... you go by feel.

It's a clock!

Honey, it's Alex's house.

Maybe you should just let him handle the turkey.

You're right, sweetheart.

Listen, uh, I'm sorry.

All right, everybody, let's eat!

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Thank you, Drew. It was a team effort.

Isn't this nice?

Reminds me of the old days.

We use to do Thanksgiving in a different country every year.

I seem to have forgotten that part of our childhood.

Val?

No.

We stopped when your sister was born.

Traveling with children is such an inconvenience.

[both laugh]

Isn't it just? So, Mom...

Dad, it was a surprise to see you guys arrive together.

Was it?

Life is full of wonderful surprises.

Okay, "surprised" is the wrong word.

Maybe "shock"?

It was confusing.

Yeah.

We're your parents. Where else would we be?

Historically, about a million other places.

We tried to expose you to various cultures to show that there's more than one way to live your life.

Oh.

Though I must say, I'm rather tickled to be at such a traditional Thanksgiving with a turkey and the stuffing and potatoes.

[laughs] Alex's potatoes.

Go get 'em.

Oh.

Emmy?

Hmm?

How are the potatoes?

Mmm. Excellent.

They're an old family recipe.

Darling, try to share.

Thank you.

The neighborhood kids called him Fat Alex until he was 13.

[laughs]

Okay, Mother.

Fat Alex?

They were incredible imaginative.

One summer, Valerie went away to camp, and all Alex ate were mashed potatoes.

Every day, mashed potatoes.

By the time we picked her up, she didn't even recognize him.

You remember, right, dear?

Vaguely.

He was always in the grip of some obsession or another.

Could you pass me that wine, please, Mae -Yi?

Although... [clears throat, chuckles]

I must say, I have a very clear, specific memory of Alex's bottle.

Oh, yes, that was a bizarre phase.

Can we please talk about something else?

When Alex was a kid, he used to take these empty soda bottles, and he'd put them all around his room, and then during the night, instead of taking the ten steps or so that he'd have to go to the bathroom, he'd pee into these soda bottles.

And then in the morning, he'd sneak into the bathroom, he'd empty them, and then he'd put the bottles back where they were.

Now, this went on month after month after month.

And, finally, one day I asked him what it was about.

And you know what he did?

He broke out into these outrageous tears, and he said, "These are my night bottles.

My night bottles."

I don't know what this was about.

It was like the neurons in his brain got tangled up or something and never quite went back right.

We believed for a while he was gonna need a full-time nurse.

[laughing]

Oh, so, Laura dear, how are things at school?

I don't know.

It's been a few weeks since I've gone.

What was that?

It just seems like such a poisonous environment.

Why didn't I know about this?

Let's discuss it after dinner.

What happened at school?

My mom got a little too involved in extracurricular activities.

What the heck does that mean?

She f*cked my photography teacher.

Ah.

Why are you even here?

[scoffs] Are... are you all right?

Can't we just enjoy each other's company?

No.

No, we can't.

I mean, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about what... family?

And I just don't know who half you people are.

Why are you here?

We were going to wait until the end of the night, but... this Christmas marks the 45th anniversary of when Charles and I met.

Oh, so you're going to count the years that you were apart.

Or the evenings... f*cking other people?

Many of those years we spent apart, yes.

And some more recently alone, but a piece of us has always remained together.

It took us a little while, but we finally had a breakthrough.

You're getting euthanized.

I've asked Charles to marry me.

And I've agreed.

[scoffs]

When I looked straight into your mother's eyes, there was no denying the feelings.

I knew then and there that I wanted to be with her forever.

So what's that... five years maybe, ten if you're lucky?

Five.

We're having a ceremony in about a month... just a little thing, just friends and family.

We're hoping you all might attend.

[laughing]

[continues laughing]

It's too late.

Look around. The damage is already done.

Bravo.

Stop.

Mae-Yi and my parents... that's cold, even by my standards.

She betrayed me.

No, she didn't.

I'm sorry I ruined Thanksgiving.

She's trying, you know, your mom.

You really think she deserves all this?

Is she still seeing him?

Of course not.

[sighs]

Are you taking off?

So, um...

I'm here for whatever.

I'm always here.

Just...

I'm here.

I'll be back at school on Monday.

Oh, that's good.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[door closes]

[sighs]

Wasn't that fun?

You're sick.

I'm sick?

Shut up.

Whatever. You were a kid.

We all do weird stuff when we're kids.

Oh, yeah? What'd you do?

Nothing. I was an angel.

He gets so much joy out of telling that story.

I used to try to explain, but...

Explain what?

Never mind.

Is there more to it?

Forget it.

Okay.

Okay.

As soon as the sun would go down, they'd unlock the doors, and people would come in, go out... new faces every night.

And I'd wake up to go to the bathroom, and there'd be some naked woman in the hall or two strangers f*cking on the couch.

After a while, I just couldn't do it, you know?

So...

I waited for the sun to come up and the people to leave.

[Amy Winehouse's "Valerie"]

♪ Well, sometimes I go out by myself ♪
♪ And I look across the water ♪
♪ And I think of all the things ♪
♪ What you're doing ♪
♪ And in my head, I paint a picture ♪
♪ Since I've come home ♪
♪ Well, my body's been a mess ♪
♪ And I've missed your ginger hair ♪
♪ And the way you like to dress ♪
♪ Won't you come on over? ♪
♪ Stop making a fool out of me ♪
♪ Why don't you come on over, Valerie? ♪
♪ Valerie ♪
♪ Valerie ♪
♪ Valerie ♪
♪ Did you have to go to jail? ♪
♪ Put your house up for sale? ♪
♪ Did you get a good lawyer? ♪
♪ Hope you didn't catch a tan... ♪