03x02 - Don't Let It Get in You or On You

[bunniefuu]

Who is that very distinguished-looking tall glass of water?

Wouldn't throw him out of bed for eating crackers, huh?

Dr. Ron Rudd. They brought me in to run the department.

From what I gather, they had some pretty big ethical and moral issues a few months back.

You have 10% kidney function, and we need to get you on emergency dialysis immediately.

You were willing to let them throw me under the bus, but now you need me.

I do, because now they're gonna throw me under the bus with you.

(chuckles) Do you have your files?

We know that you're throwing us to the wolves and you've hired my replacement.

Somebody has to be guilty.

It isn't me.

Suzi: What part of "We have you by the balls" do you not understand?

Getting On - S03E02
Don't Let it Get In Your or on You

Okay.

What's that?

It's a canary.

It's part of your pet therapy.

It's supposed to cheer you up.

First we had a dog, now we got birds.

They don't tell me what's going on around here.

But I'll be back in a little bit to show you how to feed it, okay?

I have to take care of it?

Mm-hm.

(canary twittering)

You are gonna feel some tiny pokes.

Tell me if you feel any pain.

Okay.

This has healed up nicely.

Good.

You guys heard any of the rumors flying around about bankruptcy and layoffs?

Ow, ow, ow! I'm just kidding. (laughs)

A sense of humor helps. So will this port.

Make your inconvenienced life slightly less inconvenient.

Don't sleep on it, protect it, cover it while bathing, you know the drill.

And we will see you today at six o'clock at dialysis.

How are you doing, Dawn?

Oh, good. Yeah, I've never been better.

Do you have any family who could offer support?

Yes, my family's wonderful.

Okay.

Didi: No, you do not need to come down here.

Yvette, please don't tell me what I did or did not see. Okay?

It is under control. She's perfectly situated in our living room is where she is right now.

Ring, ring! This is for everyone!

This involves everyone! This is important, so good morning!

Uh, Ron, people.

Dr. Rudd is staying on with us.

He's going to be part of our new normal.

I look forward to working under Dr. James, so to speak. (chuckles)

We're all going to take turns holding his hand, so to speak.

(laughs) And teach him everything that we know about geriatrics and palliative care. Oh!

(laughs)

Everybody in. Ron, Dawn, gentlemen, pack it in.

Dawn: Uh, Mrs. Spindler.

She's here recovering from her broken hip replacement.

What am I gonna do with you?

Send me home.

Mrs. Spindler dropped another three pounds since Tuesday.

My nurses tell me that you haven't had one single thing to eat since you were admitted.

They're not telling the truth.

So you're not having a problem eating?

None!

What would you say if I jotted a note on your chart saying that I suspected an eating disorder?

Do you vomit? Do you take laxatives?

I don't eat because my dentures hurt.

And there's things I stay away from to keep fit.

I don't eat fat, red meat, seeds, spices.

I hate nuts. I like salmon.

Well, if we can't admit that there's a problem, then we'll never be able to discuss the reasons why, will we?

(tone sounds)

The bells.

It's the infectious disease drill.

From the Ebola crisis last spring.

Ridiculous then, ridiculous now.

(phone rings)

Extended Care, first floor.

A cruise ship?

What... Norovirus?

How many beds?

(indistinct chatter)

What do you got?

Abdominal.

I've never felt this bad in my entire life.

Yes, it's expl*sive at both ends, but we're gonna get you feeling better.

We have excellent bowel protocols.

Didi, fluids and electrolytes.

Marguerite, get an emesis basin.

We need to screen all patients for domestic and sexual abuse before treatment. Um...

Let's see. Do you feel safe at home or have you experienced mental or physical "or sexual abuse whatsoever?"

No.

"Have you experienced physical v*olence at the hands of an intimate partner," including pushing, slapping, shoving, hit with something hard?

No!

I took a Lomotil and two Imodium after the first squirt, and it just plugged me up.

Are you having difficulty expressing yourself?

I can't sh*t if that's what you're asking.

Ma'am, that's what I'm asking.

"Has your partner ever refused to practice safe sex?"

No.

"Has anyone ever made you do something sexual you did not want to do?"

No.

"Have you ever been touched in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?"

No.

Jenna: Cruise ships.

The poor, elderly vacationers who get wheeled on board with their Foleys and their oxygen tanks and their stoma bags, and a virus hits, it just mows 'em down like tenpins.

Don't get it anywhere in you or on you.

It's highly contagious.

(barking)

Sh... Marguerite. That'd be yours.

How are you feeling, Mrs. Stein?

I'm feeling okay, actually.

Except for my inoperable cancer.

What kind of cancer, may I ask?

Pancreatic. This cruise was a gift to myself.

The food was delicious.

Dawn, can we get a link for her health records from the sheet's nurses?

Mrs. Stein, could you tell me your date of birth?

April 25, 1930.

Mm-hm.

And may I ask where you were born?

Krakow, Poland.

Here. There's little Callie, got his new smile.

Here's one of him before with the cleft palate.

How do you put a price on a smile, eh?

I wish he would just shut up already.

All he ever talks about is Honduras and fixing people's harelips.

So what's going on here, by the way?

This three-quarter sleeve look. Is this the new you?

Probably.

Knockout.

Dawn, I got a patient, Mrs. Litwin, in severe abdominal distress.

She has constipation and diarrhea at the same time.

Nice trick.

Jenn: Dawn, I'm admitting Mrs. Stein, so remove the patient from 107.

She's almost well, and Mrs. Stein is from Krakow.

Okay.

Mrs. Litwin, I understand you are experiencing some tummy pain.

Yes, please do something. I can't take much more.

Okay. We're gonna go ahead and give you a therapeutic enema, if that's all right with you.

Okay.

Marguerite, can you go ahead and give her the enema, please?

Mrs. Litwin: Oh! It hurts.

Hello. Is Didi Ortley here? Oh, there she is.

Ma'am, I'm sorry, you can't just...

It's okay.

I'm her sister-in-law.

We need to talk.

sh*t!

Damn it, Yvette.

What part of do not come down here did you not understand?

Not the least bit of it. She hung up on me, then blocked my calls.

My sister-in-law.

You can't block my calls and expect me not to come down.

I canceled my flight, took a personal leave layover.

I haven't eaten since Amsterdam.

You need to discuss things, Didi, you know, you can't just go making upheaval and unilaterally move someone...

Marguerite, get the dog off her tray.

Marguerite: Ruffles! What's the sh*t with this place?

Looks like Hurricane Katrina.

Actually, I did need to take unilateral action.

You were on a flight, Darnell had a concussion, and Waylon is just Waylon.

What she did is she drove up to Pasadena, removed our mother-in-law from Sunset Villas, and then takes her home to sleep on a bed in her living room, without discussing it.

I got there, Yvette, I walked in, she was standing in the hallway looking wild, robe open, no gown, breasts hanging, just looking wild.

Well, if you didn't tell her you were coming, of course she was surprised, Didi.

You can't just show up without telling her, it confuses her.

Uh-uh. Not confused, wild. Okay? She looked right through me.

And she smelled foul. She smelled because she wouldn't let anyone near her to bathe her, all right?

So she hadn't had a bath and she smelled like urine and smegma.

Oh, God, that word, that's an awful word.

And it wasn't just in her folds, it was all up and through.

I took her out of there because she was neglected and unbathed and smelling like sweet smegma.

Now you're just doing it on purpose.

Yvette, I think I know what I'm doing, and I would appreciate it if you didn't go inciting everybody and turning this into a whole lot of mess.

Oh, is that right?

Okay, okay, Yvette, look. I have a break in an hour.

Go to the cafeteria, have a doughnut.

I'll meet you there and we can talk about it then, ***** *****

Under normal circumstances you would have been admitted at the hospital, but fate, it seems, has delivered you into our arms.

Latoodaplatin shows potential to be a paradigm-shifter in pancreatic cancer.

We're in a very limited Phase 2 efficacy trial, but one of the participants has dropped out, ****

**** of known so far: disorientasteaness, ****

**** ***** *** go down to pharmacy yourself for the initial round.

I'll fax and expedite her enrollment.

She has survived all these years.

She's an endangered species, and we have to take extra special care of Mrs. Stein.

She has an important story to be told, to be... to be preserved.

Mrs. Stein, have you done an oral history?

No.

Oh, I think you should.

I think that we should arrange that while you're with us.

(Patsy grunts softly)

Patsy: This'll keep you going.

There we go.

The most important part of exercise is to be consistent, Sammy.

You know? Even when people don't respect our needs to take care of ourselves. Right?

Sammy. Hi. Dennis dropped you early?

(laughs)

Where's your sweater?

Sammy works at Costco.

Oh, I know, Dawn. He told me.

Did you have breakfast?

Yes.

Yeah, what did you have?

I make everybody oatmeal with raisins.

Ooh, that sounds great. Huh? Did you have banana?

For potassium?

We were out of bananas.

Well, I have "badabas" in the break room.

Huh? Why don't we all have a "badaba"?

Patsy...

Sammy?

I love bananas.

Come on, Dawn. Live a little. Huh?

You know what? I'd love a "badaba."

(cheers) (clapping)

(Patsy laughs)

Come on.

How it catches up with you. How it changes.

I used to watch World w*r II specials, which was odd for a little girl, but my father, you see...

Back then, Auschwitz, Dachau, it was like it was only yesterday, but now, 70, 80 years, it's just so long ago, it might as well be the Civil w*r or the Middle Ages.

It just goes by so fast.

I don't know if I would know how to live in a world where Auschwitz is gone.

Just the moral clarity of it all.

Birdy Lamb?

Hello.

Hello, Miss Lamb. This is Dr. Rudd.

He usually works in Honduras, but I'm giving him some pointers and helping him bone up on palliative care, which, as you know, is talking to the patients, and getting to know their hopes and desires of how they want to live out their last days.

So I would like your permission to observe him as he comes to give you the results from your last scan.

That be okay?

Yes.

Are the results bad?

Well, let's just...

Ron, go ahead. Step in. Ron.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Ms. Lamb, I'm Dr. Rudd, and I have the latest results of your scans.

Would you mind if I sat down and I visited with you for a minute?

Mm... nice.

Nice.

Dog is a d*ck, by the way.

Ruffles is not a d*ck. Ruffles is a love bug.

If you want Ruffles to love you, you have to love him first.

Dogs are like people, Didi.

If you want them to love you, you have to love them back.

Jenna: Still not eating, I see?

(clears throat) Who do you think that I have in that room just over there?

No names, but someone who survived Auschwitz.

And what do you think that they had to eat?

And you're depriving yourself of this nutritious food?

Patsy, Dawn: One, two, three!

Same!

Patsy, Dawn: One, two, three! Oh!

Eh!

(laughter)

One, two, three! Ow!

(laughs)

Ahh!

(laughs)

Both: One, two, three!

One, two, three!

Now I just...

One, two, three! Oh!

We're doing the same thing.

Okay, one, two, three!

(Latin music plays)

(chuckles)

(Dawn laughing) He's good.

(music continues)

(Dawn laughs)

(both laughing)

(music continues)

(plays soft melody)

Dawn: Know what would be great?

A house with a screened-in lanai, on stilts on the water, and we'd all have leis.

And Sammy could still work at Costco.

Could Dennis come, too?

Sure.

And saunas and massages, and sunsets.

Mm.

The tropical sunsets are exquisite and beautiful and...

(chuckles) Look at us.

Look what we've become.

We're completely devoted to something greater than ourselves.

Dawn?

Mm... it's tears of happiness, Pats.

I'm just... I'm happy.

(Dawn chuckles)

Sorry I am late.

Dee, Yvette called, drags me down here.

Darnell! Yvette, I asked you...

I rang him up. Everybody needs to be involved, Didi.

Darnell: I do not have much time, I gotta get back to the site.

Where's Waylon? I suppose you rang him up too.

This food is a bargain.

They must have it underwritten or something, to be so cheap. Hey, Didi.

It's underwritten, right? They probably got some kinda subsidy or something, I bet.

Hey, brother, got you a burger.

Thank you, man, I'm not hungry.

Okay, but guess how much it cost?

Nobody's guessin' nothing. Okay?

We have not gathered for a family dining event.

Honey, you and Darnell need to discuss your mother's welfare a priori.

Darnell: Jesus, Yvette, we know.

Yvette: I landed at LAX at 8:30 and thought I'd call Mama Viv and say hi, but Sunset Villas tells me she's not there anymore.

So when I asked them where she is, they say she had vacated the premises and been permanently relocated by Denise as of seven o'clock this morning.

I called Didi to say what's up, and she tells me that Mama Viv is now in a bed in your front room.

Wait, so you were not a part of this?

I had a concussion.

How'd you get a concussion?

He hit his head in a Dumpster.

Okay, and who's gonna go back to the Villas and get her things?

Oh. It's gonna be me, I know it's gonna be me.

Here we go. Here we go.

Who was the one who got stuck cleaning out the house when she moved into the Villas, got stuck cleaning out 37 years of crap in that house?

Me. All her keepsakes and souvenirs.

Yvette, those souvenirs can go f*ck themselves. Okay?

And who's gonna change her diaper?

Her diaper needs to be changed every three hours.

What do you think I do for a living? When you're not there, Didi.

Because this is all higgledy-piggledy.

Andre is with her today, along with Miss Norris from across the street, and then Carmen tomorrow, until we can get it figured out.

We even got a nanny cam. Show 'em on your phone, babe.

How long the cafeteria open?

Waylon.

You know Didi doesn't do anything half-measures. Didi thinks things through.

Thank you.

There.

What's that?

Our living room.

Well, I don't see Mama Viv, I don't see Andre.

Well, maybe they're in the kitchen, or he took her for a walk.

Y'all got a medium-sized dog or a large cat or something?

No.

Waylon: Well, there's something moving around under this blanket on the floor here by the bed.

Is that a leg? See? That's Mama Viv! She's on the floor!

Didi?

Mama Viv, she on the floor!

Andre, Mama Viv is on the floor!

'Cause we looking!

Son, stay by her.

Get her back up in the bed.

Slowly.

See if she's okay or if she needs 911.

There you are.

Sorry.

Um, Mrs. Stein is agitated. I think we're having an adverse event here.

She keeps calling out for "Wolf" and "Bernard."

Who is that?

Camp commandants, liberators, pets?

Who knows? So you get her settled.

I'm gonna consult with some other Phase 2 participants.

But there's definite delirium, possible hallucinations.

So you comfort her and I will go make some immediate calls.

(Mrs. Stein mumbling)

Let's get you back into bed, Ms. Stein.

Yeah. Raspberries and cream.

Oh, wow! That sounds nice. Raspberries and cream!

Raspberries and cream.

Are you sad, Sammy?

No.

It's okay, I know you're sad.

I'm okay, Dawn. I'm not sad.

Life isn't how you imagined it might be.

You had all these dreams.

See, I know, because I know someone who's a lot like you, Sammy.

Feels a lot of the same things you feel.

Really?

Someone who wanted to be popular and loved and beautiful.

And you know what?

She learned that there's a different kind of beauty, Sammy, something that has nothing to do with your face.

Because you have a special glow within you because you are a deep... person who has suffered.

And you know what? Every day that you wake up and are still alive, it's precious. Does that help you?

Dawn? Excuse me. I gave Mrs. Litwin three enemas and nothing's happening.

Nothing is coming out at all. She's just moaning. Hey, Sammy.

Belly big as a watermelon.

This is Dr. Jenna James. I need the department of oncology, please.

Would I be calling if it wasn't important?

Yeah, put me through to Lance. I need to pick his brain about Latoodaplatin.

Excuse me.

There you are. Every time I look over there, you're gone.

I'm sorry, one of the patients from the Swedish Princess is suffering severe abdominal distress.

I'm afraid her colon's gonna perf.

Well, Dawn, obviously, she needs to be evacuated manually.

So get one of my a**l horns, there's plenty in the box right there, and go evacuate her.

Here we go. Relief is at hand. Marguerite.

Okay. We are going to perform a non-surgical fecal diversion.

Mrs. Litwin: Whatever it takes.

Do you know how to use it?

I've had training.

Yeah. However, I'm a little bit tired, so I'm gonna go ahead and sit.

I'm gonna hand-inflate the indwelling C-ring, and you can do the insertion.

Bowel management is a real bugaboo in geriatrics, Marguerite.

Hook that collection bag up there. Here we go.

All right. There we go.

Okay. You're going to feel a little pressure, just a little bit of pressure, as the indwelling rectal valve inflates.

It might feel nice.

What?

Okay. Nothing's happening.

Okay, nothing's coming out. Something is clearly blocking the flow.

Marguerite, can you jiggle it? Can you jiggle it?

Marguerite, jiggle it. Jiggle it.

Okay...

Man: Oh, God, it's gonna look bad.

Babe, do you know what? Take the phone outside.

'Cause if I hear Yvette clucking "I told you so" one more time in the background, I'm gonna reach through this phone and strangle her.

(dog licking)

Mm-hm. No, no, no. Yeah.

No, thank God. Call me... Call me when you get there.

Okay. Bye-bye.

(dog licking)

Stop licking your ugly balls and go mingle.

Go be therapeutic. Go on.

(barks, growls)

sh*t!

(snoring)

Hey. What you doing?

We have an incomplete evacuation here.

Can you, um, give it a little shake?

You okay? You napping or are you just...

Hey, Pats. Can you give us a hand here?

Patsy: Huh?

Can you take over for Didi?

Marguerite administered three enemas, and I'm afraid this patient's at risk of perfing.

I'm supposed to evacuate her, but Dr. James's a**l horn isn't working.

No, Dawn, I can't. She's clearly a two-person lift.

I just... my back, you two.

I'll do it.

You know what? Take this thing out. It's clearly blocking the flow.

You have to deflate it first. I'm gonna go ahead and deflate it as fast as I can. If you could help us out by giving a little shove.

Okay, just a little push.

Don't strain... There you go, dear. Okay?

Oh, God! Patsy. Oh, God. Is it in your mouth?

I don't know, I can't see.

Oh, God!

You did good, ma'am, you did real good.

Do not close your mouth! Do not swallow! Here, swish!

No, no, no.

Swish.

You know what? It's okay. Let's just go.

You've gotta disinfect your mouth!

Come on!

You're just not used to being out on the floor, that's all.

It's better. I feel better. Thank you.

Didi: Oh, sh**t, Dawn, it's all coming out!

Then let's get her to a commode! Come on!

We are here to help, okay? Towel. Could somebody please get me a towel?

f*cking can't see!

Woman: Somebody help them.

You truly are skin and bones.

I'm tired of hearing that.

Mm...

Well, did you have an eating disorder when you were younger?

Or did you just start using the laxatives?

My daughter Carmen suffers with bulimia.

Does she? I'm sure she's very pretty.

She is.

When the dentist told me, I didn't believe him.

'Cause, you know, I thought that was a white girl's problem.

But she's in a group now with girls her age.

But what do they know about growing older, retirement, being a widow?

I'm not a widow.

Or running out of savings or empty nest.

It's hardly empty nest when your child dies, when you out-live your own children.

Your son or your daughter?

My son.

My husband and my daughter didn't tell me for a year.

Can you imagine that?

They thought it would upset me.

So they kept it from me for a year and I didn't know.

They thought they could run out the clock.

I showed them.

I'm showing them all.

Jenna: We stabilized her earlier disorientation, but now she's experiencing a little shortness of breath.

But I'm sure that that will pass with the Noropine.

The Shoah Foundation is sending over two advocates tomorrow to record her memories.

Because I insisted. I said, "Every single voice must count."

Retrieve them now before the cruel cloud of dementia washes over them.

And people are constantly saying to me, "JJ", you wanna be happy or you wanna be right?"

And I've always chosen right, because somebody has gotta stand up and be counted.

Because nurses can't save lives, orderlies can't save lives, and sometimes hurt feelings are just collateral damage.

You know what I'm talking about.

Mrs. Stein, we think that you might have experienced...

Mrs. Stein?

Mrs. St...

She's dead.

Oh!

(muffled sobbing)

Marguerite: What is this?

"Pursuant to section 14C of the labor agreement, this will inform you of 60-day notice of termination of employment."

What?

Dawn got one, too. So did Patsy.

They are trying to shut us down.

(TV plays indistinctly)

There you are. Hi, Mrs. Stinson.

Hey, she's not done yet. How's it going?

Well, Mrs. Stein d*ed. Dr. James locked herself in her office for an hour.

Marguerite got a notice of termination.

We think they're closing Billy Barnes.

My mother-in-law fell, hit her head, so she's over at the hospital getting x-rays.

Okay. Uh...

I'm really sorry. I'll be up in a sec.

You don't have to wait down here.

They can just call up when she's finished.

What?

Dawn!

I just don't want anyone to worry.

It's not so bad. I just, I really have to watch what I eat and drink.

Does anybody else know, or...?

No. Or just Dennis.

I don't want Dr. James to know. I just don't.

Her x-ray looked fine. They're gonna keep her overnight.

Where's Carmen? You guys about ready to go?

Uh, yeah, almost. I had her sit and visit with a patient.

I heard about Mrs. Stein.

A98706. Her number.

God. Can you imagine?

Something gets put on your forearm and you are forever marked. It wounds you.

Your life's never the same. Everything that came before is...

And you step into this awful, ugly, through-the-looking-glass world.

And forever in exile, really, from what you might have been.

Oh, Dawn, you cared for her too, didn't you?

Yeah.

Hi.

2Hi.

Heard it was a rough day.

Yeah. (sniffles)

I am definitely going to fast for Hanukkah this year. We could all do it.

A lot of these religious customs, they have a health benefit, too.

Do you fast for Esperanza?

Kwanzaa.

We don't really celebrate it. How's your driveway?

A couple of cracks at the top.

Hm. I told you that ficus was gonna be a problem.

I could come by and give you a free patch.

I can match those colors so you can't even tell it with the naked eye.

(TV playing indistinctly)

Wait, is there anything I can do or...?

Will you sing the "Pony" song?

Mm...

(clears throat)

♪ If you're horny ♪
♪ Let's do it ♪
♪ Ride it, my pony ♪
♪ My saddle's waiting ♪
♪ Come and jump on it ♪

(R & B plays)

♪ Ride it, my pony ♪
♪ My saddle's waiting ♪
♪ Come and jump on it ♪
♪ Sitting here flossing ♪
♪ Peeping your steelo ♪
♪ Just once if I have the chance ♪
♪ The things I would do to you ♪
♪ You and your body... ♪