03x01 - Young & the Next Day

[bunniefuu]

This is my younger brother, Jake.

Son of a bitch.

You wanted to get rid of me because you like her.

Gabi, how can you date my brother when three months ago, I told you I loved you?

Joshua, sometimes, we have to be steady and give up the things we want most.

Even our dreams.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

Stop the truck.

What?

Stop the truck!

You okay?

Jake, I'm sorry.

Josh!

I can't go.

You need gas money?

No.

I mean, you fixing up the truck and sending me to Coachella.

It's the most incredible, thoughtful thing.

I just want you to be happy, Gabi.

And I will be... now.

Gabi!

Whoa.

Everything okay, daydreamer?

Yeah. Yeah, totally okay.

I'm just, um...

Tired?

Yes.

I mean, all that shopping for food last night and then getting up so early to leave.

Hey, how much longer to Coachella?

Well, since the truck can only go 40 miles an hour and we've been on the road since seven, that means we still have about... uh...

You don't have to do math.

Whew!

Thank you!

So, um... how you feelin'?

You know, about all this stuff.

You mean our business stuff or you and me stuff?

All of it.

A sick road trip with my girl, tons of cooking, awesome music festival.

I feel pumped.

How are you feeling?

Not conflicted.

(Bang, hiss)

Uh-oh.

Ha ha...

That is not a sign of anything.

(Theme music playing)

♪ She's in the spotlight ♪
♪ And she turned my head ♪
♪ She'd run a red light ♪
♪ 'Cause she's bad like that ♪
♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby. Baby ♪

♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

Hey, how bad is it?

Two flat tires and a broken radiator.

Oh.

You call AAA?

Yeah, they said it's gonna be hours.

Turns out people heading to Coachella get in a lot of fender benders.

From kissing?

From brownies.

Oh.

That sign says we're five miles from the town of Yermo, and do you know what all small towns have?

Carnivals?

Garages.

You wait here. I'll go find one.

Oh.

You're my hero, Josh.

Jake! I meant Jake.

My mom does that too.

(Laughs)

Moms are silly!

(Knocking)

Josh, what are you doing here?

Gabi...

I had to come after you.

I know this isn't the right time to say it, but screw it 'cause there's never gonna be a right time.

I was an idiot to let you run away with Jake.

I want to be with you.

Seriously?

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

Mm...

Yolanda: Josh! Josh!

Whoa.

Whoa.

You plan on buying that pillow breakfast?

Nothing sexual was going on, Yolanda.

I don't think that's what the pillow would say!

Ugh. Gabi...

Oh, you got to be damn kidding me.

Is that what this is about?

Her and Jake are on their way to Coachella.

Driving together, working together... (Scoffs) sleeping together... How did this happen?

How did this happen?

They're driving to Coachella because you sent them there.

They're working together because you bought 'em a food truck.

And they're sleeping together 'cause your brother is fine!

You made this happen.

(Scoffs)

I was being magnanimous!

What I really wanted was for her to jump off the food truck and run back to me.

Aw. Baby, I mean this in the nicest way.

Get over it.

Get up, get you some fresh air, and go on a bike ride.

You made your bed, now stop making out with it.

Oh! Back from the honeymoon already.

What's the matter?

Alan saw you naked?

On the plane.

(Giggles)

We had one glorious night in Puerto Vallarta, but there was a 30% chance of a hurricane, which is 100% too much for a Jew.

But... we did manage to bring a little Puerto Vallarta back with us.

Oh, my damn.

Alan loves it.

You do?

I do.

He's my little abacus.

I'm gonna go look at it again in the mirror.

Hurry back, gorgeous!

Oh, my God, that hair is hideous.

He doesn't have a Halle Berry face to pull that off!

So why did you tell him that you loved it?

'Cause we just got married!

I don't want to rock our perfect boat by telling him he looks like an Asian 2001 Justin Timberlake.

Help me, Yolanda.

Me help you figure out a way to tell Elliot he's ugly?

(Laughs) I'm in!

(Ringing)

Hey.

Hey!

Ooh. What's going on in our apartment?

Well, Dmitri's remodeling Yolanda's place, so we're getting all her old big appliances.

They didn't fit over there, so they moved the kitchen over here.

(Gasps) A newish kitchen?

Why aren't you more excited?

Well, uh...

I made out with Ruben at the wedding and he said he could really see a future... with his girlfriend, Chelsea.

Oh.

That is not your name.

I'm sorry.

What's going on with me, you ask?

Oh, nothing really.

Just stalled on the side of the road near some place called Yermo.

Jake went to go get help and I'm here all alone and I'm worried 'cause I may have had a fantasy about Josh.

What?

(Sighs) Help me, Sofia.

I really can't stop thinking about what Josh did for me.

It was so sweet and loving and confident and sexy and...

I really like all those things!

Oh, my God!

Gabi, listen to me very carefully.

Let's just look at the facts.

Josh bought you a food truck and sent you off with his brother.

Fact or not fact?

Fact.

And when you left, you really liked Jake.

Fact or not fact?

Fact.

Okay, so what's my point here?

That I'm totally fact?

I mean, it's natural for me to still have feelings about Josh.

We've been in a weird yet beautiful non-relationship for over a year.

But Jake is so charming and so into me, and as you pointed out, Josh did send me away with him.

I just gotta get Josh out of my head once and for...

Gabi?

Hello?

I'm in her head.

Oh!

Josh! What are you... what are you doing here?

I was riding my bike back and forth in front of your apartment building, and I realized that was pathetic.

So, I decided to come up here and press my cheek against the door.

And I'm glad I did, because now I know...

I'm in her head!

Ugh, the two of you.

She still has feelings for you, you still have feelings for her.

I can't take this anymore!

Me neither.

That's why I'm going after her before Jake pushes me out of her head with his Jakey charm.

Yes! Go!

Please put an end to this once and for all!

You're coming with me.

Me?

Why do I have to go with you?

Oh.

Wanna take Lil So-So with you as the enforcer?

Keep you from wimping out like you always do?

I need two people for the carpool lane.

Or that. I'll go pack.

(Knocking)

Elliot, can you get the door?

Sure.

You must be so tired after your long day of cleaning up after no one.

Oh, my...

I know.

Your luxurious rows of corn looked so amazing, I thought I'd get some too. You like?

Uh... I don't like.

I love!

I should call you Orville Redenbacher 'cause that corn is poppin'!

You hear that, Yolanda? He loves!

Nuh, I don't get it.

You look like a gay alien from Predator.

Oy, the clanking of the beads.

I need to find some migraine medication.

Hurry back, my Caribbean queen.

Oh, my God, he looks horrendous.

He doesn't have a Halle Berry face like mine to pull it off.

Halle Berry?

More like Frankenberry.

Man, I really hope this guy knows what he's doing.

Oh, relax, he's the number one mechanic in Yermo.

And the mayor.

I've got good news and bad news.

The bad news is your radiator is sh*t.

Whats the good news?

I'm about to make 450 bucks.

Uh, kind sir, would you perchance accept payment in the form of Brie and chutney quesadillas?

I do love Brie.

But no.

Jake, what are we gonna do?

You think you can just kiss me and everything's gonna be magically better?

Mm... pretty much worked my whole life.

Jake, maybe this isn't meant to be.

You know, maybe we should just go home.

What are you talking about?

This is all part of the adventure.

I know, but it's not just about the truck.

There's been some stuff going on in my head...

No!

No, no. This is happening. We're doing it.

Do you know how many people with munchies are gonna pass this place on the way to Coachella?

We'll open the truck right here and sell your amazing food to pay for the repairs.

It's going to be awesome.

Wow.

You know, you're really sexy when you take charge.

Okay, that time, it kind of worked.

Sofia: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

(Laughs)

Thanks for letting me drive.

This is so exci...

Eyes on the road.

All right, look, we're almost in Yermo.

We still haven't seen them. I mean, where are they?

You should stop yelling, okay?

It's not my fault that Gabi's phone is dead and she's with Jake and his beautiful bee-stung lips.

See? This is exactly my point.

Girls can't resist him. I've seen it my whole life.

We gotta find them.

(Car decelerates)

Sofia, why are we slowing down?

I don't... I don't know.

I'm flooring it!

Sofia, we're out of gas!

Why didn't you say something?

Well, considering I don't even have a driver's license, I think I'm doing pretty good.

Okay, kids. All done.

The truck's out back.

And your quesadillas were delicious.

(Laughs)

Mm! Who knew I loved chutney?

Anyway, you're good to... make out again.

Can't really blame you.

That is one good-looking young man.

(Laughs)

Thanks for everything, Joey.

I love you, Jake.

I have no idea where that came from.

I have a wife and two lovely kids.

You on Facebook?

I'm gonna go pull the truck around.

Okay.

Hey, Joey, how disgusting is your bathroom?

Not gonna lie. Pretty bad.

(Sofia groans)

Oh, thank God we made it.

Okay, you get the gas. Sir?

How disgusting is your bathroom?

Not gonna lie. Pretty bad.

(Loud music playing)

(Groans)

(Groans, coughs)

(Toilet flushes)

Ew, ew, ew, ew!

(Toilet flushes)

Josh?

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Gabi, no!

Oh, these fantasies have gotta stop.

Come on, Sofia.

Let's walk back.

Ugh, my feet hurt.

No time to complain.

Look, I've been too close too many times, all right?

I'm not letting this chance pass me by.

Okay, well, why don't we just find out where they are first?

Call Jake.

And say what?

"Hey, Jake, where are ya?

I want to steal your girlfriend."

Well, I wouldn't lead with that.

Okay, you know what? Forget it.

Do you want to call him? Call him. I don't want anything to do with this.

Put it on speaker.

Man: Hello?

Jake? Is that you?

I wish. That man is an Adonis.

Um, why do you have my brother's phone?

Oh, Jake is your brother?

Huh. I don't see it.

Here. Your brother was so busy making out with his girlfriend, he left this.

They were here!

They were making out?

Uh, tell me something.

Was the kiss super passionate or was it that kind of kiss where you can tell the girl is really into the guy's brother?

I'd show you a picture, but I cropped the girl out.

That's it. We gotta go.

Joey, lovely town, disgusting bathroom.

Tell Jake I say hi!

(Rock music playing)

Oh, my God!

I can't believe we finally made it to Coachella!

Hey, ah, this is Coachella, right?

Yeah!

(Laughs)

Well, we're a day late, 450 bucks in the hole, we got the worst space in the festival, but we've made it!

Yeah! Thanks to you!

Thanks to us!

I'm sorry that I'm yawning.

Today's been really exciting and I guess it's just kinda catching up to me.

Say no more. I'm gonna grab the sleeping bag.

Bag-a? Or bag-zzza?

Thought we could share. Is that cool?

That's cool.

And it should be cool.

And I want it to be cool.

But it's not cool yet.

I get it.

No, I don't.

Okay.

Do you remember when we were leaving from the wedding and Josh gave us this amazing food truck and he was so sweet and he watched us drive away and I started thinking maybe I still had feelings for him?

Don't remember the last part.

Yeah, that's the new part.

Do you still have feelings for my brother?

I don't know.

Ugh, what's wrong with me?

Gabi, I get it.

You and Josh have a history.

But... you and I have a future.

(Sighs)

Oh, my God, that was so sexy.

This is what's confusing me!

Do you know what I do when I'm confused about something?

What?

Sleep on it.

(Sighs) Sexy again.

I wanted us to have drinks together so you two would get drunk and finally tell each other the truth.

The truth about what?

Your ugly-ass cornrows.

Take it from someone who's been there.

You will never have a good marriage by lying.

Both: We would never lie!

Oh, yeah?

Well, Elliot, Alan hates your cornrows.

(Gasps)

But I only hate them 'cause you look too handsome.

What?

Look, I'm not George Clooney, and it makes me feel insecure being married to such a hottie.

Oh, hell no.

Alan, Elliot hates your cornrows too.

(Gasps)

I'm sorry, but I already feel so insecure being married to a 10.

But with those cornrows... you're dialed up to a 12.

I love you.

I'll get rid of 'em tonight.

So will I because I love you.

(Clanking)

(Laughs)

Such a cute couple. (Laughs)

See? I can lie too.

Oh, I see the food truck, but I still don't see Gabi or Jake.

Well, we've gotta find 'em.

Found 'em.

(Sighs) Dammit.

I'm really sorry, Josh.

I finally understand why you didn't say anything all those other times before... because this is the most uncomfortable feeling ever.

Okay, let's just get out of here and never talk about this ever.

No.

Okay, we can talk about it a little bit in the car, but then never again.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Where are you going?

Gabi.

Gabi.

Josh?

Oh, no, I'm having that dream again.

Josh?

Uh, sorry I woke you up, but I really need to talk to Gabi.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Here, take my jacket.

Gabi, I drove all the way out here to tell you something, ah, and obviously I'm too late, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

From the moment you walked into my life, you have brought me nothing but pain.

This is a train wreck.

Every day I have to look at this beautiful, amazing, and funny woman that I can't be with either because I screwed it up or I lost my nerve or I didn't get to you in time because Sofia made us run out of gas.

Gabi...

I'm crazy about you.

I always have been.

And I always will be.

Well, um...

Okay then. I'm gonna go. Uh... you two have a great night.

Enjoy Coachella. You can just give me the jacket back when you guys get home, okay?

Let's get out of here.

Josh.

Gabi, look, I didn't mean to ruin your...

You're not too late.

But didn't you and Jake...

Nope!

You've always been the one.

♪ Tell me I'm a dreamer ♪

So, uh, how are you doing?

You okay?

No.

This trip did not turn out how I expected.

And on top of that, I left my phone somewhere.

Oh, my God.

Get ready to be happy.

Where did you find this?

At the garage in Yermo.

Oh! Sofia, so awesome.

Sofia: Uh-huh!

27 voicemails from the same number?

(Beep)

Joey: Hey there, Jake. It's me, Joey, the mechanic.

What's shakey, Beef-Jakey?

(Both laugh)

(Beep)

Guess what I'm not wearing, Jake?

Pants.