02x12 - The Mystery of the Morning Jog

[bunniefuu]

[Playing harmonica]

[Boys giggling]

♪ I can't stop my leg ♪
♪ can you stop my leg? ♪

Yes!

♪ There it goes again ♪

Okay, great, Dad.

Can you and your leg load the dishwasher as an encore?

You never appreciated my creative side.

Uh, I got two tix to the Knicks-Cavs Thursday night.

Take me.

No, I said it first.

Sorry, boys. A, it's a school night and B, I can't just take one of you.

Pass. No, no... luxury boxes.

Ack! I will watch it from my couch.

I am not interested till the playoffs.

You are the only humans in New York who would pass up seeing LeBron in the garden.

Come on boys, let's get cleaned up.

What are you, their mother?

See, this is what a father who participates in his children's lives looks like.

[Cell phone vibrates]

If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?

Go shake your leg some more.

We caught a case.

Okay, um, it's in-service day, the boys don't have school.

Do not drop them off there.

Go already, there's someone dying to see you.

Maybe put some pants on.

♪ I don't like no pants

[plays harmonica]

[Boys laugh]

♪ It scrunched my frank and beans ♪

[Theme song playing]

He was only supposed to stay two nights, not a week.

I mean, how long does it take to power-wash a building?

It will take as long as it takes.

Gee, thanks, Yoda.

Morning, Reynaldo.

Morning it is. Say hello to John Doe.

Well, an 8-year-old could figure out the cause of death here.

Running in front of a bus will k*ll you.

True indeed, though in this particular case, it appears said runner was pushed.

You sure? Ear buds.

Victim could have been lost in song.

Not seen the red light.

No way.

It was rush hour. He would have to run around a huge crowd, waiting for the light.

Or he could have taken one too many steps into the street.

In which case, he would have been knocked back up onto the sidewalk.

Not all the way out here. Plus, take a look at his palms.

Pristine.

Oh.

What's that got to do with anything?

A lot. Every time either of the twins trips, scuffs their palms.

This guy, no scuffs.

No ID on his person.

Uh, he's got a wedding ring, which means somebody is looking for him.

Where's his phone or iPod he was listening to?

Oh, I am guessing stolen in the city without pity.

What's that on his vest?

That is some sort of tar which lines up perfectly with this.

Almost certainly happened before he hit the ground.

Dead men don't bruise.

And I'm not seeing any fresh tar on the street or on his shoes.

What if it came from our k*ller's foot?

Which he got when he was kicked in front of the bus.

Any witnesses stick around?

I sent the bus driver to the emergency room with heart palpitations.

I see a pretty reliable witness.

Surveillance cameras on the bus.

Insurance requires them.

Billy: Okay. See where he's looking?

He's looking back like, "Who the hell just pushed me?"

It's so dense. I can barely make out anyone beyond the front line.

All right. Roll back. Let's try it again.

Hey, did I tell you? They raised my rent.

Not cool. How much?

[Scoffs] Three times what I am paying right now. It's ridiculous.

I mean, they have a cop living in their building, back in the day, that actually meant something.

Your once crappy hood is très trendy now.

How does your rent stay so low?

Landlord's sweet on me.

Oh.

You know what you should do?

What should I do?

Look in Queens or the Bronx.

I have news!

Is it okay to look?

Yeah. We are just on the crowd.

Getting hit by a bus is my biggest fear.

Well, that and getting eaten by roaches.

Not cockroaches. The smaller roach roaches.

Max. News.

They finally towed the bus. The victim's wallet was underneath.

Aiden Silverman. Oh, look. He lived 10 blocks away from where he got hit.

Jake and Laura are still canvassing the area. Let's call this in.

Is Daddy in trouble?

Uh, Eli honey, um, why don't you come with grandma, okay?

Let mommy talk to these nice police officers.

Thanks, Mum. [Sniffs]

So sweet.

Yeah, those two are inseparable.

Laura: You're lucky.

My dad thinks my boys were born to laugh at his jokes and refresh his Martini.

[Voice breaking] Eli only just started calling Aiden, "Daddy."

How am I going to explain this?

Aiden wasn't your son's father?

Uh, step. We were married a year ago.

And Eli's biological father?

Woman: Kurt. My ex.

Means well, but...

He's, uh, he's a lost cause.

No sense of responsibility.

Can't hold a job. I thought having a kid would straighten him out.

It didn't, but...

Then I met Aiden.

[Pours]

We were both doctors at the Clinic for Sports Medicine.

That's the place that does all the New York teams.

Your husband did the surgery on the closer we just brought up from the minors.

Yes. After that, Aiden was approached by FIFA to be their new Head of Medicine.

It's just a huge opportunity.

It meant we'd relocate to Europe.

Wow. For how long?

Indefinitely. We were both so excited.

Walk me through this morning.

Get up. Coffee. Stretch. We... We were both training for a 10k.

Normally, we run together, but I had an appointment.

Can you tell me where? With whom?

Here, with a consultant for moving abroad.

What you can and can't bring and how to fill out the forms. It's very complicated.

Were you with the consultant when you received the call? I..

Jake: It's procedural. Nothing personal.

No, I was here with Eli.

I signed for a package.

I don't know what else I can tell you.

Jake: That's fine.

Can you think of anyone who would want to harm your husband?

Uh...

Actually, Charles Baptiste.

Uh.

His son Steven was a gymnast. He won silver at the last Olympics.

I remember him.

He was on my cereal box.

Steven had a torn rotator. My husband saved his shoulder.

But his control freak father was furious that Steven would miss the 2016 Olympics.

How did that fury manifest?

He left threatening messages. Showed up here, at the clinic.

We got a restraining order.

He's a maniac.

Barely two months post-op, and he already has his son working out.

Laura: Let me get this straight.

You just gave Jake your lunch hour.

Meredith: He just works so hard. I am not even hungry.

You want that Knicks ticket.

Desperately.

Come on! Stick the damn landing!

Again, get up!

Boy, don't just lay there, get up!

I'm guessing that would be tiger dad.

It's not him! It's you! He needs to heal not practice!

Listen, don't you tell me what my boy needs. I know what my son needs!

Oh, you don't want to do that.

as*ault is a felony.

Get your hand... [Grunts]

Okay, now we're just off the charts.

[Grunts]

Way to stick the landing. Whoo-hoo!

Say some doctor talked your kid into a career-ending surgery.

I heard it different.

I heard the doctor increased your son's chances for gold in 2020.

And what if something happens to him before then, huh?

He... he could slip in the shower.

Or get hit by a bus crossing the street.

Exactly!

Just like Dr. Silverman did.

[Sighs]

Walked right into that one, asshat.

You got some olympic-size anger issues, Charles.

You are not pinning this on me.

Doctor stopped returning your phone calls, your e-mails.

You couldn't handle being ignored. So you followed him.

Charles: Uh-uh. Not true.

I didn't want to risk violating the restraining order.

My wife threatened to divorce me if I did. Instead, I apologized.

What now?

Excuse me?

Look, I know I can be a taskmaster, all right.

But I love my son.

He threatened to ban me from practice.

Ban me unless I made amends with Dr. Silverman.

And you couldn't miss a single practice.

No.

So I went to his lawyer's office, gave her a bottle of wine, a good bottle, and an apology letter.

Jake: Where were you this morning, Charles?

Before the gym.

There's no before the gym.

We are there at 5:00 A.M. when the doors open.

No pain. No gain.

Looks like we found another Santini.

Hmm.

You know, some fathers have to live out their own dreams through their kids.

Jake would never.

Jake's a prince.

He is, as a dad, anyway.

It would be pretty easy to slip out of that gym unnoticed.

True. But it seems like he honored the restraining order.

You and Jake check out this lawyer's story.

See if Charles here is lying. If he is, he's still our guy.

So I told Jake he didn't have to run all the way down here when I am free.

Come on. Plus, I miss being out on the field with you.

Uh-uh.

It's like old times.

Mmm-hmm. Is this about me or LeBron?

It's about you and LeBron.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I am Dawn Dowd, Dr. Silverman's attorney.

Diamond, Soto. Homicide. We just have a few questions.

Homicide? The morning news said he tripped in front of a bus.

He may have been pushed or kicked.

Charles Baptiste is our main suspect.

Then he had me fooled, big time.

How so?

He came and did a big mea culpa about working on his issues.

Stuff about his son.

Even brought a formal letter of apology in with this.

Why did he give it to you?

He said so everyone understood he was honoring the protection order.

I was going to give it to Dr. Silverman this Friday.

I had other business to go over with him.

Uh, what other business?

Dr. Silverman was approached by FIFA.

Oh, right. To be their Chief Medical whatever.

His wife told us.

Right. In order to bring his stepson, they needed signed permission from the biological father. Kurt something.

I have it here somewhere.

Here. Kurt Baronson.

Thank you.

He was on board when we started.

But then did a 180.

My paralegal went to get Kurt's signature and out of nowhere Costas Andropos shows up and says it's not happening.

The lawyer who's always on TV.

He's like a male Gloria Allred just with more hair gel.

That's the guy.

But Mimi Silverman never mentioned that her ex was disputing custody.

I didn't know Kurt was disputing custody.

Wait, you're surprised?

Changed his mind more than he did his underwear.

You didn't care for Kurt?

Mother: Kurt only did one thing right in his life.

Give me my grandson.

Otherwise, a loser.

Not like Aiden.

Mom.

That Kurt must be up to something.

The man never had a job more than a month.

And now all of a sudden, he has money to afford a big-time lawyer like Costas Andropos?

That's an excellent point.

Putting Max on it.

You see, the pretty cop.

She thinks I am right.

[Sighs] You think my ex-husband could be responsible?

We are going to find out.

I have Kurt Baronson's financials here, if you can call them that.

Uh, what color is this paper?

Biscuit. It's much easier on the eyes under this harsh lighting.

You are welcome.

[Sighs]

So, the deadbeat dad never sends child support.

But he always has money for something called Men's Renaissance Association.

Ugh!

Wait, you know them?

Yeah. A mentally questionable ex of mine is a member.

They find broken men and tell them everything is a woman's fault.

Take a look.

Santiani: Standing up for mankind.

Oy.

Hey, check out the new articles.

"Hating on men. The new comedy craze."

"Child support or extortion?"

"How the media is turning women gay and men into wusses."

I did not know that.

So, this is the group that the ex-husband spends all of his money on?

Talk about a cliché.

That explains why I am still single.

The good ones are taken and the rest of them are in this photo.

"Nightly meetings, 7:00 P.M., men only."

Then we will send our men.

Yes!

Oh, yeah, no, our other men.

[Inaudible]

Now, about those tickets.

Listen, my mother, she spent 10 days and nights floating from Havana to Florida on a raft, brother.

Just so that I could go to that game. It's fate.

Your mother didn't come here on a raft.

Raft of hope. It's a metaphor.

[Clapping]

[Cheering]

Man: Whoo!

Hey, hang on.

Let's see what these guys got to say.

Do we have to?

Just trust me.

Man: All right. Okay. Hang on, brothers. Just cool down.

This anger you feel, when you give in to it, you play right into the hands of the radical feminist agenda.

Now I understand why Santiani sent us.

Right. Laura would have sh*t somebody by now.

This huckster is raking in the money?

Our next speaker recently had a huge victory.

Kurt Baronson, would you please come share?

[Men applaud]

This is our guy. Maybe he will incriminate himself.

See, see, it was a good idea to stay and sit, right?

Maybe even good enough for a Knicks ticket.

Kurt: Uh, thanks, yeah I am Kurt.

My nightmare ex not only made my life a living hell but she, she tried to leave the country with my son and her new husband, who my son, by the way, now calls, "Dad."

Men: Aw!

Kurt: You know, in my life, I have felt lost, alone, even in my marriage.

And then I found this.

This brotherhood.

[Men cheer]

And you guys told me to just wrestle my problem to the ground.

Sack up, right? And so I did.

I took action and now the universe has righted the wrong.

My son isn't going anywhere and my problem is gone!

[Men cheer]

Sounds like he's talking about Dr. Silverman's death.

Karma ain't a bitch. He's a man and thanks to you, I am again, too.

[Men cheer]

That's our cue.

NYPD. We have a few questions.

What are you talking about? I didn't do anything.

You smell the same thing I do?

[Sniffs loudly]

Hey, hey, hold on. The first amendment works here, too.

You can't detain this man for speaking what's on his mind.

[Men shout]

No, but we can arrest him for what's on his hand.

Tar. Just like we found on your dead problem this morning.

The one you wrestled to the ground.

Hands behind your back please.

Mr. Baronson, you are under arrest for the m*rder of Dr. Aiden Silverman.

Let's go.

We have got your back, Kurt.

[Men boo]

You guys need to watch some Dr. Phil.

♪♪

Dr. Silverman was found dead with tar on his shirt.

And you have tar on your hands, your clothes, your work boots.

You do the math.

[Chuckles] Yet another woman telling a man what to do.

She need to be here?

If you mean my partner...

And you're single. Imagine that.

Whatever. Look, uh, I was on a roofing job yesterday in the Hamptons.

Now, you tell me, how do I work on that roof and k*ll this guy at the same time?

What am I? The Flash?

No, you're a misogynistic liar.

You call me whatever you want. I didn't do anything.

You just said in front of your entire he-man, woman hater's club, "the universe righted the wrong. My problem is gone."

The problem was Dr. Silverman.

I didn't do anything.

On the same day you said that, your problem was pushed in front of a bus and k*lled.

It's called cosmic justice.

Now, if that's true, then how did you know your problem was dead, if you didn't k*ll him?

[Door opens]

My client learned about Dr. Silverman's very unfortunate accident from me.

And you are?

Please, you know who I am.

Never seen you before in my life.

[Scoffs] Costas Andropos. Mr. Baronson's attorney.

Let's go, Kurt, not another word.

Hold up, counselor. We didn't say your client could leave.

I didn't ask. Now, here's a question.

Are you charging him with anything?

Not just yet.

Then we are done here. Let's go, Kurt.

Bye.

[Sighs]

Coffee?

Better not.

I need the most calming tea we have, times 10.

Then you are really not going to like what I have to tell you.

Ugh, what?

Kurt was working on a roof in the Hamptons at the time of the m*rder.

His female contractor confirmed it.

You're kidding.

Wish I were.

And the tar we found on the victim's shirt is paving tar not roofing tar.

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

[Sighs] All right.

Okay.

Maybe he hired a hitman.

He'd have to pay with shiny pebbles.

Because, remember, Kurt has no money.

Sounds just desperate enough to blame his problems on someone else.

Like the doctor.

And clearly, he couldn't deal with the fact that his ex-wife was happy.

Meredith: It's not the best motive.

I mean, Jake isn't crazy about you and Tony.

Well, this guy's the opposite of Jake.

Oh, definitely the opposite.

So the opposite. It's not even funny.

So far from each other. Jake is the best.

You two realize that I have no say in who Jake takes to this game, right?

Yes, but he might ask your opinion.

What do you even know about basketball?

I know there will be tall men in shorts.

Okay, can we please just get back to the m*rder investigation?

Yes. Kurt arguably has motive, but what about opportunity?

Kurt would have to know that Dr. Silverman would be on that corner.

So, he had to be stalking him. I don't know how we'd verify that.

The gymnast's dad, Charles Baptiste.

But his alibi checked out. He was at the gym at the time of the m*rder.

Yes, but until the restraining order, he was passing out flyers in front of Silverman's practice.

So if Kurt was stalking the doctor, Charles would have seen it.

On it.

I am usually on it. Whatevs?

[Cell phone beeps]

[Sighs]

[Types]

Meredith: Knock, knock.

Ah!

Hey, you took a swing at an officer of the law.

I didn't hit you.

Only because I blocked your weak-ass swing.

It's still as*ault and resisting.

But if you help me, I might be willing to reduce the charges.

Help you?

How?

We are looking for anyone else who might have been hanging out around Dr. Silverman's home or office.

Maybe someone in this photo.

Oh, this guy.

Are you sure, not that guy?

No. It's definitely this guy.

Where did you see him?

He was outside the clinic.

And what stood out about him?

He'd be standing out front and then, uh, whenever the doc would come out, he would walk away like he didn't want to be seen.

George Vascos.

Okay, what are the chances that this guy George is in the same group as Kurt, hanging around the same office as the guy that Kurt had a problem with and the two things aren't related?

Zero. They have got to be connected.

Oh, look.

Apartment for lease. Two bedroom, two bath.

Just like your place.

You know, moving in with somebody is a smart move.

First of all, you save a lot of cash at splitting the rent.

Secondly, carpooling, even more money to spend on each other.

But then you lose all that space.

Yeah, but have you ever thought about living with somebody?

I mean, that second bedroom that you have, gives you plenty of space.

That is my gaming room. Do not mess with my sanctuary.

Of course.

Uh, G. Vascos. Apartment 6.

No elevator. Really?

Come on. I'll race you.

No chance.

[Woman screams]

Billy: Oh!

[Alarm blares]

Someone's going out the roof.

Call it in.

10-85. Officers requesting backup and a bus.

Santiani: Witnesses?

None. But the neighbor ID'd the victim.

Wait for it.

Tracy Vascos.

Our suspect's wife?

Billy: Yup.

Did you check George's apartment?

Wall to wall. Nobody home.

Keep knocking on doors and I will transmit an alarm.

Billy: We locked down the building pretty fast but whoever it was used the roof to access the rear fire escape.

Aviation is still in the air but it sounds like they got away.

There's no chance that this was an accident.

I don't think you could accidentally fall over these railings.

Meredith: And su1c1de's unlikely.

I found a juice store coupon on the victim.

Oh, you are not going to k*ll yourself before a free smoothie.

Two murders in 24 hours. One linked to Kurt, one linked to George.

The connection has to be the MRA.

All right, it's going to be a long one. Refills?

Sure.

Me, please.

As I said, a prince and not only as a dad.

Jake: Tony?

Hey.

How's it going?

Good, man.

Just dropping off some sandwiches.

I heard it might be a late one.

Yup, caffeine run. You got the day off?

[Laughs] No, man. I am just starting.

I am pulling a double so I can take tomorrow night off for the game.

Yeah, you going?

[Snorts] I wish.

My buddies and I are watching in a bar across from the Garden.

It's almost like being inside.

You know what? Here's a pair.

Club seats. Platinum level. Take one of your buddies.

Are you kidding me? You don't want them?

I am tired of people kissing my ass for those.

Thanks, uh, I will make you a torte or something.

Laura: Excuse me.

What, sneaking off?

No. I am sorry. I just didn't want to interrupt. Hi.

Hi.

You are not going to believe the day I am having.

Tell me.

First, the Vegas restaurant guys called, begging me to come out there.

Tony.

[Sighs] Maybe you should go.

No! No, we put that to bed already. I don't want to go.

It's just a nice ego boost. But then, I ran into Jake and he gives me his Knicks-Cavs tickets.

Jake Jake?

Uh-huh.

Wow.

You gotta go with me.

College hoops are more my thing.

I am not worthy of those tickets.

Hey, me neither, but these are club seats.

Sushi delivered right to you.

It's insane. You gotta go.

Okay.

Yes!

And what does Cavs stand for?

Cavaliers.

Cavaliers.

Tomorrow night.

So we, and by we I mean me, dug into George Vascos.

He is a helicopter pilot.

Yeah, and?

And his employer confirmed that he was in the air at the time of his wife's m*rder.

Lands in an hour.

Okay, it can't be a coincidence that both George and Kurt had problems, that both those problems were m*rder*d and both suspects have perfect alibis.

Hold on. George has an alibi for his wife's m*rder.

What about the doctor's m*rder?

George didn't fly yesterday.

What motive would George have for k*lling Kurt's ex-wife's husband?

He has no motive. Maybe it's Strangers on a Train.

Wasn't one of the victims k*lled by a bus?

No, it's the Hitchcock movie.

Don't know what that is. Remember that you're both like twice my age.

I feel like punching you so hard right now.

Laura: Okay.

Maxie, do the thing with the thing with your thing. [Sighs]

On the left side, put Kurt, his ex-wife, their son, and the new husband.

All right. And the new husband is Kurt's problem.

Exactly. On the right side, put George and Tracy.

Who is George's problem.

Laura: George wants to k*ll Tracy, Kurt wants to k*ll Aiden, so each commits the other's m*rder, giving each of them a rock-solid alibi for the problems they wanted solved.

And neither has a motive.

Strangers on a Train. We got to get Kurt back in here.

Yeah, we do, but questioning him will do no good without any evidence.

We have all the evidence we need.

Yeah, I am going to wait for my attorney.

Wow.

What? Did you say something?

Yeah.

I am going to wait for my lawyer.

Oh, well.

Lawyer or not, DA's never going to cut you a deal unless you give us something.

You ever been to Rikers?

Rikers, no.

You are going to love it. A lot of men.

You will be able to have all sorts of man meetings.

Yeah, that's really funny.

New York doesn't have the death penalty.

I think you may have just inspired us to bring it back.

What are you looking at there?

Oh, DNA report, as in your DNA up and down Tracy's clothes.

You know Tracy, George's wife.

Look, I got no idea how that happened.

Oh, well, it probably happened when you were pushing her up and over the rail.

Lucky break for us.

Juries love them some DNA.

Mmm, I bet you anything George makes a deal, leaving you to take the rap, for everything.

For god sakes, he made me!

We were in a meeting.

We got drunk and then George threw out a comment and he said, "Hey, why don't we take care of each other's problems?"

And I thought it was just some twisted joke.

But it wasn't a joke.

No! And when I got home from here, George shows up at my place and tells me he's already...

He's already taken care of my problem and now it's my turn.

So, you k*lled his wife.

I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to. I had no choice.

He told me he was going to throw me under the bus for Aiden's death.

Oh, poor choice of words.

Look, I was scared.

He had already k*lled Aiden.

So I went over to George's house...

And you threw his wife over the rail. Didn't waste much time.

He told me it had to happen between 10:00 A.M. and 2:00 P.M.

Exactly when he would be...

Wow!

You just really love to make an entrance.

Are you people deaf? My client's not saying another word.

No problem.

He said enough.

Meredith: Helicopter that just landed from Atlantic city.

There.

Thank you.

Billy: Hey, George Vascos.

Can we talk to you?

Yes.

We are sorry to inform you, there's been a tragic incident involving your wife, Tracy.

She passed away a few hours ago.

Oh, no!

Oh, god!

Oh, it can't be! It can't be!

We also forgot to mention, you are under arrest for m*rder.

What are you talking about?

Oh, my god, she was alive when I left her.

I just landed. I literally just landed.

Pretty proud of that alibi, aren't you?

You are under arrest for the m*rder of Dr. Aiden Silverman.

Kurt Baronson told us everything.

[Engine whirring]

Ah, don't even think about it.

Don't think... don't you...

Oh, it's your turn.

Ugh!

[Grunts]

Hands behind your back!

Ah!

That hurt?

Good, I'm glad it hurts.

As we were saying, you are under arrest!

So, you're going to sit here and tell me that you and your boy Kurt didn't work out a plan to solve each other's problems?

If you were innocent, you wouldn't have ran.

I didn't k*ll anyone.

You murdering son of a bitch.

Kurt confessed.

He told us you k*lled Aiden so he'd k*ll your wife.

Kurt's a whack job.

You can't trust anything he says.

So how did he know your flight schedule?

How did he know the perfect time to k*ll your wife?

Kurt knows I am a pilot. Maybe he looked up my flights.

Good luck with that story, because a witness saw you hanging around the victim's medical practice.

[Laughs] All right. Look, did I consider the deal with Kurt? Sure.

But I can prove I am innocent.

Because when that guy got hit by that bus, I was having breakfast with half a dozen of my MRA brothers.

Like they wouldn't lie for you?

Would the waitress? The deli owner, the busboy?

I'll give you witnesses up the wazoo.

Have a seat, Lurch.

Oh, god, all those alibi witnesses, it's going to check out.

[Sighs] He didn't k*ll Aiden. He was too tall.

Tall? When did tall become an alibi?

He would have stood out in the crowd. On the corner.

Literally, we would have seen him on the bus video.

Okay, but he could have been hunched over.

[Mutters]

Okay, what if George only heard about Aiden's death at the men's meeting when Kurt spoke.

He would have remembered their Strangers on a Train pact.

And then what? Went to Kurt and took credit for k*lling Dr. Silverman?

Exactly. And that lines up with Kurt's story.

He said that George came to him this morning to cash in on his chit.

But when he heard that the doctor bought it, George took credit for the death so that he could trick Kurt into k*lling Tracy.

Of all the things I have imagined coming out of your mouth, unsolving your own solve was not one of them.

Well, we still have George on conspiracy to k*ll his wife, but if George didn't k*ll the doctor, who did?

[Sighs] Oh, this is hurting my head.

Let's pick this back up in the morning and have Billy check up on those nine witnesses.

[Door closes]

This is really something. The sexy broad has tattoos everywhere.

Everywhere! And each is a mystery.

Ugh, I have enough mystery in my life.

Tough day at the office, Honey?

[Sighs] Case problems. You can't help.

Uh, you know, in a normal family, daughter might ask her dad for advice.

Yeah, in a normal family.

[Sighs]

We thought these two guys swapped murders so that each would have an alibi.

Strangers on a Train.

Thank you!

But we were only half right. We solved the second one, but not the first.

50% ain't bad.

Michael Jordan only sh*t 49%.

The guys are part of this men's rights club that makes you look like Gloria Steinem.

[Laughs] Gloria Steinem, that was a babe.

Oh, yes, Dad. That's right. That's what Gloria Steinem was all about. Being a babe.

Lighten up. It's not like being a feminist has made you happy.

What's that supposed to mean?

The boys told me you've picked Tony over Jake.

Dad, don't start.

Look, before you go nuclear, will you just listen for once?

I know things.

What do you know?

I know that the power-wash in my building was done three days ago.

Didn't see that coming, did you, Detective Diamond?

Then what are you still doing in my house?

I like it here. Being around. Watching you.

I also see how much you miss Jake.

But you are too high on your "I am woman" horse...

Dad, please, just don't.

Look, you can tell me.

You can tell Jake, yourself, anything you want.

But I see it.

I see the way you look at him.

How do I look at him?

With love. With longing. But, you'd rather punish him than let yourself be happy.

[Snickers]

Who are you to give me advice on love?

On relationships.

No one.

Yeah. [Sighs]

But here I am doing it.

[Sigh]

Don't do it, Raggedy.

Don't do what?

Lose these years.

You can never get them back. I regret every moment I missed with you.

And I am not going to miss another day!

If anyone tries to come between you and me and the boys, gonna find themselves at the bottom of the east river with cement galoshes.

Oh, my gosh. I think you just solved my case.

I told you I would help. I don't know how I helped.

Santiani: You're saying that this nice little old grandma pushed the doctor, a fit athlete, in front of the bus?

Helen's not so old or little.

Or nice. Apparently.

Well, this report says that she's in a cast.

Yeah, a walking cast for plantar fasciitis. We checked.

She swims. She does yoga. This was no frail bird.

All right, still, why would grandma do it?

How would your mother react if someone was going to take away her only grandson, indefinitely?

Why don't you come with grandma?

Those two are inseparable.

Because that's what Aiden Silverman was about to do.

Okay, you have my attention.

The Dr. Silvermans were avid runners.

Dr. Mrs. Silverman kept a chart on the refrigerator with times and routes.

Only Dr. Mrs. didn't run that morning. Aiden ran alone.

Grandma saw her sh*t and took it.

She knew exactly when and where Dr. Mr. Silverman would be jogging.

That's not bad. I buy it.

And you guys buy it, but for a jury to buy it, we need Helen at the crime scene.

Let's go to the videotape.

Well, I thought we were looking at the street corner.

We were. Bus cams, traffic cams, bank cams, across the intersection.

But then we realized no way Helen would have hoofed it on her walking cast.

And so, she took the bus.

Not the same bus that hit Aiden, obviously. An earlier bus.

If I can direct your attention to the upper left corner.

Yeah, I'm not seeing any grandmas.

Wait for it.

Grandma's cane.

Santiani: You sure that's the same cane?

You see the pink, padded handle?

A grainy image of a pink cane. That's what we are going to base the arrest on?

The cane and what we are going to find on the bottom of it.

A lot of women must use that style of cane.

I got mine at CVs.

Oh, did you now?

Mmm-hmm.

Did it come with tar on the tip?

Specifically, the identical composite of paving tar found on your dead son-in-law's back.

[Bus horn blares]

[Crashes]

[Screaming]

The city said they just repaved your block.

So? [Laughs] I am sure they pave a lot of blocks.

You were good.

Throwing all the blame on your daughter's ex, making Aiden out to be a Saint.

You had me looking at everybody but you.

[Starts crying] You don't understand.

Oh, I think I do. You didn't want to lose your family.

You wanted to keep them close.

You found a way.

My husband has Alzheimer's.

I can't leave him. What were my options?

You tell me!

I wasn't going to see them for the rest of my life.

Well now, you are going to see them in a prison visitors' room.

And it's certainly going to be for the rest of your life.

[Sobs]

So, did you think about my idea?

What idea is that?

Meredith, come on. Don't do me like that.

It's practical, financially and romantically.

Not in that order.

I don't know. Moving in is...

Okay, listen, listen.

Before you pass your verdict, I am upping my offer.

Much better terms for you.

Oh, yeah.

Mmm-hmm. Okay, check this out.

I will guarantee, in writing, at least one back rub per week.

Billy...

I am not done yet.

You will also wake up to my world renowned cafe con leche cubano every single morning.

Bam.

Oh, is that a yes?

Month to month.

Of course. Month to month.

And we'll see how it goes.

That's what I was going to say.

Big step, moving in together.

Oh, stalk much?

No, I'm just looking out for my work sister.

And stalking a little.

I know it's a big step, but I have thought about it a lot.

I even made an itemized pro and con list on my spreadsheet app.

What pushed you over the top?

I guess the thought of waking up to him every morning.

He's just, he's so warm and cuddly.

Billy is cuddly?

He's like a big stuffed oso de peluche.

Apparently, it's the Spanish word for Teddy bear.

And if you have ever tried his cafe con leche, you would move in with him on that alone.

Well, must be some coffee.

[Sighs] Yeah.

Well, sometimes it's the little things that are everything.

Okay, I have got to get this to Santiani.

And start making room in the closet.

Leo: Yes!

[Door closes]

And there's my girl!

[Sighs] Oh, great.

[Boys laughing inside]

I always like to come home to find the babysitter playing cards by himself.

I needed a little me time. But before I sent them upstairs, the boys and I watched two solid hours of Gilligan's Island reruns.

Still holds up.

Just no more words.

Oh, god!

[Oven door closes]

What are you doing here?

I stopped by to watch the game with your dad and the boys.

Why aren't you at the game?

I was just making sure my dad was feeding the boys and not just himself.

I can hear you!

The boys mentioned that they have a laser tag party this weekend.

[Sighs] Yeah.

I am happy to take them, if you want.

I know how much you hate those things.

Uh, thanks.

And, and thanks for dinner.

Uh, it's just chicken tenders. No big thing.

No, it's... it's a little thing.

Go, you are going to miss tip-off.

Yeah. Yeah.

Let yourself be happy.

Hey, there you are. Come on. Billy Joel's doing the Anthem.

I, uh...

[Sighs] I can't go with you.

What? I thought the case was closed.

It is.

Okay. Let's go. What's the problem?

I am not worthy.

[Laughs] Come on, Laura. I told you, neither am I.

Tony.

I'm not worthy to go with you.

We're not talking about the game anymore are we?

Jake?

You're still in love with him?

Go to Vegas.

Don't compromise your dreams for me.

I'm so sorry.

No.

I'm the sorry one.

Your friends watching the game across the street?

Yeah.

One of them should take my seat... I don't even care about the game. I just wanted to be with you.

I know.

You are one messed up lady Laura Diamond.