01x07 - Sick as Our Secrets

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Recovery Road". Aired January 25 – March 28, 2016.*
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"Recovery Road" revolves around Maddie, a party girl and a highly functioning addict who makes the difficult decision to live with other recovering addicts at a rehab facility, while facing the daily pressures of her teenage life.
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01x07 - Sick as Our Secrets

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Recovery Road...

I was wondering if you'd want to come work for me?

And how long have you been sober?

I'm not in recovery.
I'm just a counselor.

It all looks the same to me.

It's no fun doing all of the stuff by myself.

This little girl, she is Trish.

Please go. I wouldn't want to have to call the police.

Did one of them slip you their card while they were handcuffing you?

(laughing)

Maddie, I know something's up with you.

Nothing's up.

Keeping stuff in, ain't good for you.

Just coming to pick up Maddie. We're going to dinner.

Hi, Mom.

She's not going to dinner with her mom, is she?

What if I agree to be your temporary sponsor?

Okay, I guess.

Maybe, just don't tell your mom.

My priority is us.

Mine too.

Cynthia: You know I have commitments.

Ellie: When she left last night, I decided to finish her drink.

It was water.

Maddie: Sometimes it's fun being the new girl.

Yeah, at my old school, we had a strict dress code.

And no, I don't play any sports.

I hate sports.

Ellie, did you meet the new girl yet?

She's really pretty.

Like, what has humanity come to as we sit around and watch dudes ram into each other and get brain injuries?

And we get excited about who wins?

Like we have anything to do with their success or failure?

Bring back the Colosseum.

Same thing, way more interesting.

(laughing)

Oh, hey, there's uncle Jonah.

Earth to Zack.

We have to go.

All right, the usual for you, sir.

Half-cherry, half-blue raspberry Slurpee, pizza flavored... something or others, and gummy worms.

Comparing pro sports to people dying in ancient Rome?

Come on.

She was just being funny.

Says the guy who spent five hours building a fantasy baseball team yesterday.

She was trying so hard.

You really think she's funny?

You never know, Elle, you two could be friends.

Maybe you should put yourself out there, take the risk.

(sighs)

Ugh. That's disgusting.

Eww.

Eww, gross.

What did you do to piss Craig off?

Solo Monday morning bathroom cleanup?

Mus have been something pretty bad.

Uh, actually, I had duty with Trish.

Right.

She's currently unavailable on account of her being sent to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation of her fake baby.

Which is normal. Totally normal.

Everything is normal, everything's okay.

Yeah. Everything is okay.

And you know what?

I got a couple minutes.

Well, get some gloves.

Get your gloves on.

Thank you.

No worries.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, I was just, um, just driving Maddie to school.

Come on.

Put some elbow grease into it. Get your Cinderelly on.

My Cinderelly?

Uh-huh.

(laughing)

Long story... long. Um, uh, you were great yesterday.

It was a scary situation, and you were strong and kind and open, and just... great.

Everyone here... I mean, the residents, they're lucky to have you.

(laughing)

Oh my goodness, Wes!

(laughing)

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What?

I wanna feel the warmth of the summer I want to know just why I love her Well, um...

I can just erase a whole number Lay your head to sleep, breathe deeper while I Burn it out, burn it out faster Take your time, make it up after Burn it out...

I... I have a fiancé.

I know you do. I am so sorry.

One rotation leads to another Three trips round now, all for your mother Make a five-year window seem a little closer Bring it on down, fly a little lower Going six times now, and seven is getting closer...

(Maddie shrieks)

Okay, um...

I have to go.

Yup.

Uh...

Oh! Aah!

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

(theme music plays)

Okay.

The sink's broken.

I concur.

I have to go.

I have to get...

To work.

School.

With your mom.

Wow. Right. Okay.

I'm gonna tell Craig about the sink.

Cool.

(sighs)

Hi, how are you?

Nothing.

I mean, I'm good.

Good. Me too.

I can't...

Seat belt.

Yes.

Good.

We are good.

Maddie: I made out with Wes.

And Trish had a fantasy baby.

And I made out with Wes.

Did I actually make out with Wes?

Meanwhile Zack is my boyfriend.

Wes's mouth tastes like something really good.

What is it?

It's like, familiar...

ChapStick? Cinnamon?

Oh, I think it's bubble gum.

Are you even listening?

Yeah, she's in crisis mode here.

Am not.

I was talking about Ellie.

Yeah.

Oh.

Rewind?

Okay. If I want to get into the Young Ambassadors program, I have to bring my grade in American History up to an A-, and I studied the Gold Rush chapter literally, for, no joke, 13 hours, and went through five sets of note cards, and I got a friggin' 92 on the test!

I got a 92, and a 92 is like one of those framed "Good Job" certificates that you print off clip art.

It means nothing to me.

I... I don't...

I honestly don't know what you want me to do about this?

Oh, okay.

Pep talk. I got this.

Um...

You'll crush the paper, and that's a big chunk of our grade.

And hey, a 92?

The things I'd do for a 92 in American History.

I'd dress up like Paul Revere for a whole freaking semester for a 92.

And that's an improvement.

You know what they say, it's progress, not perfection.

Craig, there is literally, like, 18 cartons of milk in here.

We need to institute a new system.

Ugh, this one has been in here since that ayahuasca guy Andreas left eight months ago.

Disgusting.

Institute a system, yes.

Very good suggestion, Vern.

Perhaps we'll get a felt-tipped pen and keep it inside the fridge, so that people remember to mark the bottles.

I'll get on that.

Does soy milk go bad?

Sudden interest in dairy?

Cynthia's coming over with cake leftovers.

Cynthia? Leftovers?

Yeah. Her wedding cake tasting.

Paul's gone paleo before the wedding, so he's only taking one bite of each.

Oh, right.

Please, don't even get me started.

It's some kind of janky philosophy about the diet cavemen used to eat when we were all hunter-gatherers or whatever.

His masochism is my gain.

Yeah.

(phone buzzing)

Hi, Ellie.

Hi. Wanna get together to work on the history paper?

Maybe reward ourselves with a little manifest destiny mocha latte afterwards?

I think our forefathers would maybe approve.

Uh, well, you know what? I can't.

Dude, you always can't.

It's just, I'm in the middle of doing some laundry.

Oh, you're home?

Yeah.

(knocking)

Uh, so, I'm sorry about that.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I'm volunteering.

Volunteering. Is that what it is?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I just decided to check out the lone mixed-gender sober living place in the Valencia area, so...

Give it up, Maddie.

Okay, fine.

You want the truth?

(sighs)

I'm here visiting someone.

Anyone I know? Someone I could say hi to?

No, actually, you don't know her.

Vern: Oh my God, just tell her.

I live here.

Are you happy?

Why would... Why would that make me happy?

'Cause you have everything you need now, to humiliate me, to blackmail me, you know, steal my boyfriend.

Maddie, I'm here because we're friends.

Okay, let's cut the condescending crap, shall we, Ellie?

We've never been real friends!

So just get the hell out of my house!

How's Maddie?

What?

It sounds like you have such a... good handle on the program stuff.

I just... wonder about her.

I think Maddie's doing good.

You can tell me the truth.

Really.

Lately, she's doing great.

You know, it's hard when you're like her.

Smart, headstrong...

Stubborn. stubborn.

Can talk herself into or out of anything.

When you're like that, it's hard to give yourself over to the program.

But she's making really good progress.

You know what, this sponsor thing is huge, too.

She and Cynthia seem to get along really well, so it's great.

Cynthia's her sponsor?

She's a serious lady, man.

She actually had Maddie doing sober homework yesterday, which I think, actually, deep down Maddie really enjoys.

You know, that kind of discipline and structure.

(phone chimes)

The varnish needs to dry first, but, um, I was thinking maybe I could come back on Wednesday and hand distress it.

(sighs)

I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?

No.

No, no, no. Not at all.

This Maddie stuff is just making me crazy.

You and I both know that that woman should not be her sponsor.

At least she has one.

Well, it's just making me insane.

And I just can't seem to get her or frankly, anyone to make the right choices.

And I feel like I'm screaming into the void.

What?

Nothing.

No.

What were you gonna say?

Do you know what Al-Anon is?

Yeah.

Yes, I do.

But, you know what, remind me again.

It's a program, 12 steps, for people who are affected by addicts and alcoholics.

Friends, family, I'm a member.

You can be in AA and Al-Anon?

Yeah, well, a lot of alcoholics have other alcoholics in their lives, too.

Actually, if you want to check it out, there's a really great six o'clock meeting at the Congregational Church.
I was gonna go tonight.

Yeah, I know all about the family disease thing.

If you look at it this way, it teaches you how to let go of the alcoholic's choices and stop trying to control them. You know.

But I'm not trying to control Maddie.

I'm trying to help her get better.

Right.

Right, I'm sorry. It's just...

It's just you said that Maddie's recovery was making you feel crazy, and it can be a relief to let go of that.

How?

By... By figuring out how you're codependent, or sick.

Al-Anon isn't about changing the addict.

It's about you and your recovery.

Yeah, but what have I ever done that's sick or codependent, though?

Go ahead, I want to understand.

Well, maybe, you know, signing Maddie out to dinner with you on Saturday night.

Oh. Mm-hmm.

I'm really sorry.

It's just that honesty is a big part of the program, and I'm sure that Maddie manipulated you.

Addicts can be very manipulative, trust me, I know.

But I just think that you should've maybe gone to...

That's really helpful. Thanks.

I think we're done for the day.

See you on Wednesday?

I'll call you.

Thank you.

Hello.

Uh, hi, Cynthia.

Um, hope I'm not bothering you.

I'm not bothering you, am I?

No, no, no, no, it's fine.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no.

No, look, I just...

I'm just calling because this, uh... this morning was really fantastic, um, but it just can't happen again.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I just wanted to, you know, clarify.

Yes. I'm...

I mean, that was kind of understood.

Never again.

Oh.

Yes, of course, it was understood.

Right. Yeah. Um...

And look, you know, I understand, and I just wanted to make sure that you understand, which you do.

Totally.

Totally, yep, good.

Right, well, that's it, then.

We have an understanding. Brilliant.

Yep. Good.

Good.

Okay, well, I'm at work, so I should...

Oh, yeah. Of course. Yes, go.

Okay. Bye, Craig.

Yeah. Bye. Bye-bye, Craig.

What?

(groans)

Hey.

Just, before you launch into another diatribe about how evil I am, will you just hear me out for 15 seconds?

I'm here because I care about you.

Ambushed is an interesting way of showing it...

Just 15 seconds.

That's all I need.

I get this more than you realize.

This. The program. Rehab.

All of it.

My...

Uncle Jonah used to be a drug addict.

So, I know how scary and hard this can all be.

And I also know how... amazing it can be to get sober.

I watched him go through all that.

A few times, actually.

I visited him in a few rehabs, like four or five.

I weirdly kind of liked it as a kid.

I don't know why.

He never slammed the door in my face.

What do you think?

Excuse me.

Didn't mean to interrupt.

What do you got there?

You got a deal.

I said we weren't really friends.

I didn't mean...

That's okay. I get it.

There's just... weirdness.

We were always adjacent.

Not close.

I'm not trying to steal Zack.

I'm sorry.

You've gotta understand that Zack and I were, like, super close in middle school.

And...

Nyla was, like, the sole reason I wasn't considered a complete nerd.

We were a thing, the three of us, and then you come to PB, and you were already friends with Rebecca, who was older and all, and that should have been enough.

I don't know.

Sorry. That was... real.

I've always been jealous of you and Zack.

You guys have a friendship.

Mmm.

You guys have interests in common.

So do you, though.

Like what?

Partying?

I didn't mean to mess things up for you.

I know you didn't.

I'm just...

I'm still processing everything.

That's why I haven't told you guys.

I haven't wrapped my head around what the hell this is.

It's overwhelming.

And if I do make sense of it, it's so big and so random to explain.

It's big. Yeah, it's big.

I don't really know if it's random.

It will be to Zack.

Me not drinking? That's our MO.

I have no clue how I'm gonna spin it.

Or when.

Or what I'd even be telling him if I do.

When I do.

Ellie...

I need time.

Right now.

He cannot know.

For now.

No one can.

Okay?

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

You know...

You could have...

You could have told us about this.

We would have been there for you.

Like you were there for Rebecca?

It makes sense, the way my mom was when she was drinking, and when she wasn't drinking, that I'd be drawn to chaos and chaotic women.

Shocking, right?

You know, a lot of us in this room are comforted by drama.

You know what, I'm comforted by drama.

Highs and lows.

Terrifying and messy and exciting stuff.

It's all a big snarl, like a tumbleweed.

For me, life is like a tumbleweed of love and danger and fear and happiness.

And what I want is to untangle the tumbleweed so I get all the good chaos and protect myself from the bad.

I'm really grateful for this program.

Thanks for letting me share.

Newcomer?

You can tell?

Only because of your shimmeringly hopeful impulse to drink that coffee black.

It's bad.

It's biblically bad.

Let me doctor it up for you.
I'm Alan.

(singsongy): Hi, Alan.

Was that a little program humor?

You're funny.

I don't know what that was.

I'm really not funny at all.

I'm Charlotte.

And I think I'm just a little nervous.

It's my... first meeting.

Here you go.

Lotta cream and way too much sugar.

It's the only way it's fit for human consumption.

Thank you.

You know, I was nervous at first, too.

You were?

Yeah, I was like, whoa, this is intense, overwhelming.

And it seemed a little cultish.

(laughing)

But you know, at the end of the day, it's a really wonderful program.

And showing up here is the best gift you can give yourself.

I know that sounds a little corny, but I promise, I'm not trying to have you drink the Kool-aid.

No, just the coffee.

See, you are funny.

Tastes like a milkshake.

Come for the milkshake, stay for the life-changing conversation.

I mean, not with me, you know, with them, you know, the program, the group.

Hey, Wes.

Nice to meet you, Charlotte.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

No.

I'm sorry.

And if it's okay with you, I'll see you on Wednesday?

Yeah. Okay.

Wait, Wes...

Thank you.

Vern: Carrot cake at a wedding is perverse.

Nobody deserves raisins at a wedding, not even your dumb in-laws.

Fondant? Please.

If I'm gonna put on a suit and dance the Electric Slide with your creepy cousins, then I want buttercream.

Mm-hmm. Try this one.

It's the holy grail.

Gold-leafed Tahitian vanilla bean with hazelnut frosting.

I think I'm seeing God.

I know.

But don't get too attached.

Two tiers of this dream cake are literally more expensive than the venue.

Paul already nixed it.

Aww.

You know what, have that one.

I kissed someone.

What?

Someone who is not Paul.

Holy gold-leafed Tahitian vanilla bean, what the hell are you talking about?

Argh! I know, we just... we just kissed.

Well, ugh.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but we made out.

We made out like teenagers.

And here's the thing, Vernie, it was so good.

What?

I mean, I feel ridiculous, but kissing this guy...

Kissing this guy was literally the sexiest thing that's ever happened to me.

Oh, my God.

I know!

I know, I'm a horrible person.

But it was like this rush, like a crazy ride, it was so extreme.

I felt like I was outside my body and yet so deeply inside at the same time.

And it was a high.

And it scared me.

(sighs)

And there you go.

I am a doubly terrible person.

Okay, you're not a terrible person.

But hold up, who is this guy?

It doesn't... It doesn't matter.

It's never gonna happen again.

It was a stupid mistake.

A last wild oat.

I had one wild oat left, just one, and that thing has been sown.

Oh.

Uncle Jonah!

Uncle Jonah?

Oh, my God.

Grandpa!

(crying)

It's okay, Ellie.

Coroner should be finished up in about 30 minutes.

This was on him.

Sir, here you go.

(sighs)

Ellie: Dear Uncle Jonah, I love you...

Middle School Ellie: but if you ever do dr*gs again...

Younger Ellie: you won't be allowed in my room.

Sincerely, Ellie.

Hi.

Um, I need to tell you something.

But you have to promise not to tell anyone.

I cannot believe it.

Yeah, I know.

And yet, I can kind of believe it.

She didn't tell me.

She didn't tell anybody.

She didn't even tell Zack.

I didn't know she had a problem.

We need to be there for her. Okay?

I mean, she didn't tell anybody because she didn't think we'd be supportive.

We have to have her back.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

We can't tell anyone.

This has to stay between you and me.

Okay? Nobody else can know.

I won't say a word.

Thanks.

Hey.

Hey.

Cereal?

Sure.

How have you been?

Fine.

Work was good?

With my mom?

Really good.

Work... with your mom... was good.

And you?

You know.

Hanging in there.

Thank you.

Do you think we're, uh, ready to start using complete sentences?

Yeah.

And I really wanted to talk to you.

And last night I came looking for you, but it was late, and I...

Craig: Wes, toolkit!

What?

Grab your toolkit.

Vern and I are fixing the girls' vanity.

We need your wrench.

What are these girls doing in here?

How did they even break that thing?

Oh, I don't know, it's always something.

Especially with the girls.

If it's not the sink, it's hair everywhere.

I mean, there is hair everywhere in here.

Dude, dude, you're screwing that the wrong way.

Oh.

You go clockwise.

(clanging)

Man, you deserve a night off.

You know what we need?

Guys' night out!

Yeah!

Vern, mate, it's barely the afternoon.

Okay, well, guys' lunch out.

No. No.

Absolutely not.

Come on, Craig.

Be the man that you want to be.

Stop being the "no" man, and be the "yes" man.

All right, guys, sodas for you two.

Thank you.

Thanks.

And I got a Shirley Temple for you.

Seriously?

What?

And I have a round of our specialty sh*ts, compliments of the ladies over at table 18.

Really, that is so sweet!

Hey!

Thank you.

No. No. No, no thanks. No sh*ts.

Just have one.

It's fine. Thank you.

Look, you know, they do look rather tasty.

I've never had one before.

Melon sh*t?

A sh*t.

Okay, well, go ahead, man.

Life experience time.

Live a little!

(chuckling)

Fine. Fine.

But just this one. Cheers.

Cheers!

Cheers!

I'm really happy you've kept up with your journaling, Maddie.

Anything else on your mind?

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you shouldn't be?

Interesting. Um...

Are we talking about a romantic relationship here?

Yes. Talking about a romantic relationship that's not right, but not wrong either.

Well, the... Uh...

Sometimes relationships can be... um, complicated. And... just because a relationship isn't right, uh, you might think that it makes you a bad person, and, uh, maybe it does. Maybe.

And maybe, if it isn't right, then it's wrong.

Very wrong, and very irresponsible.

But then again, maybe relationship is too strong of a word?

And, but if it feels so right, then is it so wrong?

Right?

What the hell are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Zack. I just didn't want to say it because you know him.

Oh. Oh, Maddie, that...

No, no, no. You can...

You can say whatever you want to say in here, no judgment.

Craig: Do you think you can stop yourself from falling in love?

That is a very philosophical question for this time of day.

Let me rephrase. Okay.

So, let's say there's this... this girl.

Um, this fantastic girl.

But, you know, she's got this... There's an obstacle.

What kind of obstacle?

Um, a big, big, big, inconvenient obstacle.

It doesn't matter.

But it makes it near impossible for it to work out.

What would you do? Would you go for it?

Or do you... Grr.

Yeah. I think I'd go for it.

I didn't have time to experiment, or wander, or really find myself in my youth.

I just sort of surged into adulthood fully formed and serious.

How do you find yourself, Richard?

I didn't realize he'd have the tolerance of an 85-pound ballerina.

Do you think we should take him home?

Nah. Leave him alone. He's having fun.

The mind boggles, Richard! It really does!

(funk music playing)

Yes. Right.

You two, dance off is what is happening.

Right now. Dance off.

Wes, I expected you to just sit there looking like a statue of James Dean.

But Vern, my friend, get your ass on the dance floor right now.

Come on. Dance off.

Get your ass on the dance floor, Vern.

Yeah. Yeah...

♪ You don't know how much I love you ♪
♪ I love your style, I can't get enough ♪
♪ When we dance and you move your body ♪
♪ My feelings cannot be wrong ♪
♪ So come on, dance, go down to the disco ♪
♪ So we can boogie all night long ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ Babe, iz ya funkin', baby iz ya funkin' ♪
♪ Baby, iz ya funkin' tonight? ♪
♪ Baby, iz ya funkin' ♪
♪ Baby, iz ya funkin' tonight? ♪
♪ Ooh, ahh, ooh, ahh ♪
♪ Ooh, ahh, tonight ♪

I know what's going on with Maddie.

She's cheating on me.

I'm so stupid I didn't see it before.

She gets weird calls.

She bailed on my birthday party.

Maddie, who never leaves a party early.

She ran away from me in the hall today.

Why would she...

That's not true.

Okay, she's... not.

I can see it on your face, you're lying.

Who's the guy?

That's not what's going on.

It's something else.

(sighs)

Hello?

Craig: Yeah, Cynthia, don't say anything.

I'm just gonna say what I need to say because it's driving me crazy.

Look, I'll just say it, and then you'll have it.

Um...

Cynthia, I don't want what happened to be the last and only time.

I don't.

I would like tens or hundreds more occurrences like that.

Because, respectfully Cynthia, the thing is, you are... you're incredible.

You are.

I mean, I think you're fascinating, and complex, and so damn sexy.

And I don't understand you yet, and I want to.

I want to understand you.

I just... I just hoped somehow you'll let me.

(sighs)

You came back.

Gonna give this a try.

But I draw a line at the coffee.

I thought you might like one too.

Thanks.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you okay?

You okay?

Yeah.

I don't know. Kind of just... surviving.

I'm here for you if you need me.

To talk about it.

To not talk about it.

Thanks.

Maybe not talk about it.

I can do that.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Cool, so how's our fantasy baseball team looking?

You'll love this.

That rookie pitcher you didn't want?

He's a machine.

He struck out Ortiz twice.

He was Uncle Jonah's pick.

I'll see you guys.

Hey, I love The Giver.

It's okay, I guess.

It's brilliant.

I don't know. Maybe it's not for me.

Maybe you just don't get it.

Would you like to explain it to me?

I could. That and baseball.

Three bases, a bunch of morons.

Sounds like complicated stuff for you.

Guess I should be taking notes.

(laughing)

Ellie told you.

No, she didn't.

I'm not an idiot.

It was Nyla.

They're worried about you.

They're on your side. I am too.

Or I would have been if I'd known.

God, you lied to me about so many things so easily.

I'm really sorry.

This is a lot.

A sober house, rehab, whatever.

But you can always be honest with me.

Always, I'm here for you.

I will be.

Right, from now on, only the truth.

Can I come inside? Meet your friends?

No.

You're so sweet.

Uh, but...

We're not allowed non-residents past 5:00 p.m.

I's a whole thing.

You know, protocol.

Craig: Your brain... can cast other people to play people you know.

You ever had that?

Listen, like, hey, in one dream, it was my high school cross country coach.

I'm sure. I mean, I knew it was him, Mr. Largman with the swish-swish jogging boxers.

Oh. Hey!

Hey, Maddie.

What the...

(laughing)

Oh, hi.

Is this your boyfriend?

Oh, he is very handsome, Maddie.

He is, isn't he?

Very handsome, you are.

And it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Craig.

And I'm a little drunk.

But don't worry, I'm the counselor here.

Okay, why don't we all come inside?

Just come inside. There's plenty of cake left.

Yes, inside, come inside.

You must come inside.

And many glasses of water.

Craig: You know, ostriches are basically dinosaurs?

They are! Dinosaurs!

♪ When you let it all go ♪

Protocol, huh?

If you don't want me to come inside, why can't you say it like a normal...

I don't want you to come inside.

♪ The waves wash over your skin ♪
♪ And open your soul ♪

At least that's honest.

I get it.

♪ The sky... ♪

We can't...

♪ Goes on forever ♪

You can't do this.

♪ The stars reflecting in your eyes ♪

You can't do this anymore.

♪ And you know ♪
♪ Anything is possible ♪

Maddie: Every friendship has an origin story, but some aren't what they seem.

Enemies can be friends in disguise, and vice-versa.

People can surprise you, with secrets, with lies, with the truth.

I will never drink again.

Yeah, you will.

Well, water, you will.

Take these aspirin.

Down the hatch.

Maddie: People can surprise you with love.

And some relationships are ever evolving.

You don't know exactly where they'll end up.

That's part of the fun.
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