07x08 - By The Throat

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Childrens Hospital...

Give me 30cc of Fentanyl, Strat!

(plays chord)

7x08 - "By The Throat"

Sore throat, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Those have been going around.

Hmm.

Throats, I mean.

Just about everybody's got one of those.

Let me take a look with the old tongue depressor.

Oh.

Give me just a second.

♪

(glass shatters)

Oh, hey, Chief.

Do you know where I can find a tongue depressor?

♪

Sure.

I'll help you look for a "tong depressor."

♪

Nope, no "tong depressors."

But you didn't really look --

Can't help you!

Owen: Tongue bags, tongue candles, Tongue extenders.

Where the hell are the tongue depressors?

Blake.

Hey, Owen.

I need to find a tongue depressor.

I can't find one anywhere.

♪

Hi.

Why are you poking the hornet's nest, brother?

Hornets don't like having their nests poked at.

Leave it alone.

♪

Well, if no one's gonna help me find a tongue depressor, I guess I'll just have to do it myself.

Hey, spread the word.

I think the hospital may have a hornet problem.

(keyboard clicking)

♪

What the hell... is going on?

Okay, let me just push your tongue down.

Hey, Glenn, do you know --

You, too?

What's going on with the tongue depressors?

I went online and I --

Tongue depressors?

What's a tongue depressor?

This is how I've always done it.

(suspenseful music plays)

Glenn: Okay. Down.

(suspenseful music plays)

(dramatic music plays)

Who gave this to you?

Aah!

(indistinct whispering)

(whispering continues)

Hey, Owen!

What's happening? Is it the hornets?

No, your patient just woke up from his coma.

Go, go, go!

Welcome back, Braden.

You've been unconscious a long time, buddy.

Let's take a look at you.

Say "Aah."

Why aren't you using a tongue depressor?

(softly) You know what that is?

Everyone knows what a tongue depressor is.

Your finger tastes like a dog track.

Stay right here.

Hey, hey, tongue depressors are real, and I can prove it.

Come on, man. Stop talking crazy.

Listen to Braden. He remembers.

(monitor flatlines)

Glenn: Oh, God.

Owen: No!

No, no, no.

He was the only one who knew.

What have you done?

What?

I didn't do this?

Arrest this man for m*rder.

No! How did they get here so fast?

Glenn, I didn't do it.

It's a setup. I'm a patsy.

Glenn!

(eerie music plays)

(sneezes)

(dramatic music plays)

(grunting)

I want my lawyer!

(door opens)

Well, well, well.

Governor Jasper Ruth, the Boss Tweed of Sao Paolo, which as we all know is where --

I hear you've been a bad boy today.

Stabbing a child?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I'm a doctor, Ruth.

I only k*ll children by accident.

You know, I'd hate to see such a promising career end like this.

If you just admit to making up all this nonsense about tongue depressors, I might be able to make all this go away.

Wait a second.

You're behind all this?

Look at you, putting it all together just like my child puts together model bridges.

You can't silence me, and that's the truth, Governor Ruth.

I hope you have a good lawyer.

(door opens)

Word in this doorway is you need a good lawyer.

Lola.

Oh, thank God.

Wait. You're a lawyer?

I'm a lot of things.

We got to get you out of here.

Wait. Where'd you get those keys?

My bra.

Why are you helping me?

I didn't help you.

You overpowered me, and then you took my g*n.

You have a g*n, too?

And I have this.

A tongue depressor.

It will help you find the truth When you're ready to hear it.

Now run.

Lola, I owe you --

No, run!

(dramatic music plays)

(suspenseful music plays)

Can't trust anyone.

Got to stick to the shadows.

♪

(police siren wails)

Mmm, mmm!

(groans)

Who serves Red Zinfandel with tilapia?

I can't do this anymore.

(sighs)

I'm ready to know the truth.

♪

(clears throat, gags)

Hello?

Who's there?

(hoarse voice) Who I am is not important.

Oh, hey, Lola.

What? I'm not Lola. No.

You just stepped into a big patch of light, so I can see that it's you.

What? Oh, uh --

Okay, um --

How's this?

It's fine. Lola, please.

I've been on the run for about two hours.

Ask yourself this question.

Why would governor Ruth want to erase tongue depressors from existence?

I don't know.

You do!

He told you.

Go back to where it all began.

Ancient Mesopotamia.

Of course.

No, not Mes-- No, don't go there!

Just go back to the hospital.

The hospital. That makes a lot more sense.

Thanks, Lola.

You're welcome. But, uh, I'm not Lola!

Uh, I mean, but I -- but I know her.

She's a good kid.

Okay, "Refuse to give name," what seems to be the problem today?

My tongue's depressed.

Mm, yeah, I've been seeing a lot of that lately.

♪

Owen!

It's me. Owen.

(whispering) It's not safe for you here.

(loudly) So, uh, your tongue is sad, huh?

Well, let's take a look.

I didn't k*ll that patient.

I know you didn't.

You want the truth?

I can take you to it.

Here's your truth.

Thank you, Dr. Downs.

What?

Get off me, you bald, beard, track suit --

(groans)

Blake. Why are you doing this?

'cause you ask too many questions, Owen.

I'm disappointed in you, son.

I thought you were smarter than this.

Time to operate, boys.

Aah! Throat grab!

Head slam!

Ugh!

Ugh!

g*n pull.

Come on, man. They paid me a lot of money.

(panting) Don't do it.

Don't take another step. I'll sh**t him, I swear.

No, please, Don't k*ll the clown.

We love him.

(laughs) It's so hard to say that without laughing.

Nobody cares.

It's over, son.

No, it's not.

Owen didn't k*ll Braden.

Well, then who did? Please say the clown.

No. The person behind Braden's death is the same person behind this entire conspiracy.

My father.

Lola, darling.

Governor Ruth is your father?

It all started last Tuesday when the weekly shipment of tongue depressors arrived.

♪

It was just what I needed to finish my model suspension bridge I've been working on in my spare time.

....just like my child puts together model bridges.

I figured who'd miss one box?

What I never could have imagined was that that was the last box of tongue depressors in the entire hospital.

I was so scared!

So I ran to my father for help.

And I did what any loving father would do.

I deleted any reference to tongue depressors from the Internet, scared an entire hospital into silence, and then I k*lled a teenager.

Monster.

And it would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for your big mouth!

Not so fast, Governor.

I got the whole thing on tape.

I carry this with me to catalogue my favorite cat calls.

Man: Oh, mommy! Them titties so sweet, I'm gonna need an insulin injection.

Ooh, yeah! (laughs)

Hold on.

Man: Yo, gimp, I want to pop my nuts in your ass like shells into a shotgun.

That's a good one.

Ruth: And then I k*lled a teenager.

Looks like the only cat getting called today is this cat -- called to prison, that is!

No. No.

Bye, dad.

Afternoon, everybody.

(dramatic music plays)

Lola, you saved my life.

I owe you.

I think this is yours.

I'll bet you could use that.

(sighs)

(walker clatters)

Okay, where were we?

Aaah.

That tongue depressor tastes like a dog track.

(plays chord)

(mid-tempo music plays)

♪