02x13 - Future Tense

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Faking it"...

Amy, you have to tell her the truth.

I know. But how do I even begin?

"Oh, by the way, I'm sometimes attracted to guys and oh, I once slept with Liam."

All these private sessions are starting to pay off.

I've seen Duke's abs all over Stubble.

The gay hook-up app!

Robin, my sister, is really my mother.

And those two, my grandparents.

They raised me as their son.

Why don't you just go to his new school and out him as a narc.

He isn't who he says he is.

He's a narc!

Narc!

As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.

Only at Hester would we waste a P.E. unit on [bleep] tai chi.

Damn it! Duke's on Stubbl again.

Well, you're on Stubbl.

But only to see if he is.

Which he is... for the fourth time today.

Shane Harvey... sounds like you wanna be monogamous.

What? Eew, no! Gross.

We're gay. I just want him to only be gay for me.

What are we...

Hey. Sneak out Friday night.

And bring handcuffs.

Yes, ma'am.

Anything specific you'd like me to wear?

Uh... whatever you want.

But I might get hot wax on it.

[whispers] Eew!

You sure you two aren't back together?

We just... have a thing.

No commitment, no labels, no hurt feelings.

Speaking of... how'd your conversation with Reagan go last night?

She texted and said she couldn't make it.

But don't worry... I'm gonna head over there after school, and I'm gonna tell her everything.

I'm just afraid she's gonna break up with me.

Just be honest. Maybe she'll understand.

But... to be safe, if she gives you anything to drink, don't take it.

So you said you had something to tell me.

What is it?

Okay. Wow.

Uh... all right, let's just get right into it, shall we?

Well, you see...

[game sounds on TV]

Can we go somewhere a little more private?

I have five roommates. There is nowhere private.

Don't worry. He can't hear anything.

Hey, Marley!

See? Now, tell me what you need to tell me.

[game sounds continue]

[bag rustles]

Okay. You know what? This can wait.

Jesus. You're such a [bleep] coward.

What are you talking about?

I was outside your window last night when you were talking to Karma.

After everything I've been through with my ex, how could you not tell me you're into guys?

Because I'm not sure I am. I only slept with one.

Oh, yeah, and he just happened to be the boyfriend of your best friend, the same best friend you kept secret from me because you're in love with her, and supposedly, you're over that.

I am.

And I'm supposed to believe you? After all these lies?

Karma's not a lesbian.

Neither are you!

I am!

[expl*si*n on TV]

And you're just realizing this now?

Part of questioning your sexuality is eventually getting the answer, and survey says: lesbian.

Prove it.

[pop music]

♪
♪ I don't need nobody ♪
♪ To tell me who to be ♪
♪ Ready to... ♪

It's so sweet of you to walk me to school.

Yeah, except I've been here ten minutes, and we haven't left your room.

Maybe I should just call in sick.

[chime]

Tempting, but I've gotta train.

My first fight's next week.

You've been training so much lately.

I've barely seen you.

Except on Stubbl.

Hey, I've seen you on there a lot too.

I mean, not that I care, because you've always said, you know, monogamy's for straight people, right?

I have always said that.

And you're fresh out of the closet.

I don't want to keep you from checking out all the other rooms in the house.

So... I guess we're agreed.

We're now officially in an open relationship.

Do they make a greeting card for that?

If not, they totally should.

[both laughing]

You told her you were a lesbian.

I'm a girl in a monogamous relationship with another girl.

What else would you call me?

Uh, I'm gonna go with Amy.

What about the fact that you're sometimes attracted to guys?

That hasn't happened in ages.

I think it's all cleared up.

Amy, it's not a rash.

Can we focus on what's important here?

College. Our dream of going to CU together is never gonna come true unless we do something this summer that they find... "impressive."

The big question is... what?

Why don't we just ask her?

Hello, ladies.

Can I tell you a little bit about us?

No need, no need... we both knew we wanted to go to Clement ever since we were old enough to know what college was.

Not too big, not too small.

World-class media documentary program...

And it looks just like that school from Greek, and I love that show.

Well, you two should definitely consider our Summer Scholars program.

You can audit classes, live in the dorms...

[soft laughter]

Oh, um...

How much does it cost?

There's no cost to the student.

At CU we want to find the best and the brightest, and this is how we find them.

Sign us up!

Yeah.

Well, there is an application process.

And the deadline is soon.

Oh, right. Of course.

Just curious...

How many spots are there?

30.

Oh! For how many applicants?

3,612.

Those were last year's numbers.

Hi. I'm Lauren Cooper.

Oh! Hello.

I know you'll be meeting hundreds of students today, and I want to be the one you'll remember.

Here's my card. It lists a smidge of who I am.

Sophomore class president, ballroom dancing champion, social chair.

"Friend to the elderly"?

I go every Sunday.

They're helping me as much as I'm helping them.

Mother[bleep]!

Lauren, let me explain.

Is this some sort of joke?

After you guys outed me, they wanted to send me to another school, so I requested a transfer.

I don't want to lie to people for a living.

Big whoop, what do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize?

Why the hell are you here?

The chief's not happy about my decision, so he transferred me to Hester.

[bleep] you, narc.

'Sup, Brad?

Look, I know you're not ready to forgive me yet, but maybe this'll give me a chance to make things right.

I want you back.

The fact that you even think you have a chance shows you have no clue how deeply you hurt me.

Just stay the hell away!

[school bell rings]

Hey, buddy. Quick question.

What are you doing this summer?

Jackson? Why are you...

Here?

Just swinging through with an answer to that question.

Pow!

"Southwest Artist Collective"?

Yeah, I run it with a bunch of artist friends of mine.

But I gotta warn ya... we got no idea what we're doing.

But we still got an eye for talent.

Every student we've hosted has been accepted to the art school of their choice.

And I think you'd be a shoo-in.

But, uh, but why me? I mean, you didn't really like my piece, and I already rejected you once.

Well, let's just say you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age.

Except with far superior skin.

[chuckles]

So, what do you say?

I really wish I could, but I can't.

Ouch. That's twice, Booker.

Third time's a charm.

Think about it.

Um... care to explain?

That's Jackson Lee, the artist who offered me that fellowship.

Now wants me to apply to his summer program.

Well, looks like someone found himself a sugar daddy!

[laughs]

Oh, my God.

Shane, Shane, I think he might be my dad!

Okay. Extracurricular activities.

We were Homecoming Queens.

Yeah. That'll really wow 'em.

At least you have straight As.

I got a B- in Yarn Arts.

What have I been doing with my life?

Chasing boys and the approval of others.

Hate to rain on your parade.

Speaking of parade, what's up with the twirling?

Did you not hear that F b*mb I dropped on that Clement rep?

I wanted to make a strong impression, but... not like that.

Oh, yeah. What did Theo say?

Not talking about it.

I'm focusing on my future.

Tomorrow, I will make a lasting second impression via my lifelong passion for baton.

You don't have a lifelong passion for baton.

Uh, yeah, Amy, I do.

I know that schools look for students with passions, and applying to college is a cutthroat process, as your... blank applications clearly show you're realizing.

And unfortunately, you two can't just fake it.

Bye!

Why not?

Well, we are really good at it.

Hello, Clement University!

I'm Karma.

And I'm Amy.

We're passionate about nutrition!

So passionate, we turned Amy's backyard into an organic garden.

Where we grew... all of this.

Apparently, we have green thumbs!

And soon, we were growing more than we could ever eat.

So we started juicing.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Delicious!

Our friends thought so too, and their friends... and their friends!

But we couldn't charge them for it.

It didn't feel right.

So our friends started a Kickstarter campaign and got us this juice truck.

Hashtag blessed!

We just wanna help people live healthier lives.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You can't be serious.

[scoffs] Okay, look, Felix, we don't need a lecture on honesty.

We just need to know if it's believable or not.

Nope. Not even a little bit.

Oh...

And Meryl Streep here isn't really doing you any favors.

Wha... hey!

I'm a good actor!

I beg to differ.

Well, I made you believe I was attracted to you.

Well, you obviously weren't acting, 'cause you can't.

Okay. Now your lips are just flapping.

You can go now.

This is my room.

Felix, just give us a moment.

Are you attracted to Felix?

Eew! No. Gross.

But you heard him.

We're never gonna in the Clement summer program with this. We need a plan B.

So she was a freshman when Jackson was a senior.

There might be some proof in here that they knew each other.

Just for the record, I think you're jumping to conclusions, and I'm worried you're gonna end up disappointed.

I'm just helping because I need to distract myself from the fact that Duke is supposed to be training.

But instead, he's logged on to Stubbl!

Why can't you just tell him you don't want an open relationship?

Because I don't know if I can do monogamy.

Holy [bleep].

Grr! Young Jackson Lee was cute.

And that's Robin in the same picture.

That's proof! Shane... he's my dad!

I don't know.

I've been in plenty of pictures with people I haven't impregnated.

No, it all makes so much sense now!

Being an artist is in my blood, and now my dad has come back to build some kind of relationship with me.

I've dreamt about this moment.

Liam...

Shh!

When I dreamt about it, there was no talking.

[squealing]

[laughing]

What?

I just got some amazing news.

Remember that punk band I opened for last month?

Oh, p*ssy expl*si*n?

They're going on tour this summer, and they want me to come with!

No way! That's so cool!

You know what'd be even cooler?

If you came with me.

Me?

The bass player just dumped her girlfriend. There's room in the van!

Uh, that sounds amazing.

[sighs] But I can't.

I've gotta spend my summer doing something that'll look good on my college application.

Look, you say you want to be a film major to make documentaries. Why wait?

Make one this summer! sh**t the tour!

Think about it. We'll stay out all night, stay in bed all day.

Live on doughnuts.

I do love doughnuts.

[phone buzzing]

[sighs] But Karma's...

Seriously, Amy, you say you want a future with me, but you keep planning one with her.

Hey, can we talk?

Now's really not a good time.

Amy, I'm really worried about...

That summer program?

Uh...

I-I say let's just forget about it.

It's not worth the stress.

What? W... Amy...

You always said you wanted to be a lifeguard.

Maybe you should just do that.

But you refuse to get a job that requires a bathing suit.

And I stick to that statement.

But Reagan is going on tour this summer, and she invited me to come, so... maybe I'll just do that.

[Karma laughs] What... you're kidding, right?

What about getting into Clement?

Um... maybe college just... isn't my thing.

I gotta... I gotta go.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.

[click]

Wha...

Amy!

Look... I know why you're trying to help me out.

Oh, y-you do.

Yeah.

This isn't how I planned it.

I wanted to get to know you better before I said anything.

You're not, uh... you're not mad?

No! Why would I be mad? No, I'm excited!

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Great. Okay. Then so am I.

I just wish we'd met sooner.

Wait, wait... are you saying it's too late?

We'll make the most of the time we have now.

Okay, s-so you'll introduce me to your dad?

What?

No, no. You're my dad.

What? No.

Wait, wait, who's your mom?

Robin Booker.

No, no, no.

I'm definitely not your dad.

Then... why were you talking about, you know, getting to know me?

I heard your family's commissioning a mural at the new Skwerkelplex in Sao Paolo, and I thought that if I was your mentor, you'd put in a good word.

You don't care if I'm an artist at all.

Look, sorry, kid, but... use it in your art.

I'm passionate, determined, willing to take risks.

crowd: Oh!

[gasps]

I'm so sorry.

May I begin again?

No... [stammers] That won't be necessary.

I can already tell that you're right for the program.

You can?

Was it my "refuse to give up" attitude?

Actually, it's come to my attention that you are Hester's first out intersex student.

And we value that kind of diversity at Clement.

Now, I can't promise anything, but I would be very surprised if you didn't win a spot this summer.

Because of my body?

No! No, because of your... uniqueness.

Well, then I withdraw my application.

If you'll excuse me.

You have to watch this video.

[sighs] You made another one? So you're still applying?

Just watch.

[both giggling]

Then the two princesses have tea.

No, Karma, this is college.

They're reading books underneath the tree.

But what about the prince?

He's the professor.

[as professor] Here's your diploma.

[girls giggling]

I know what you're doing.

Good. I was afraid I was being too subtle.

But that was over a million years ago.

Amy... you wanted this yesterday.

And you're gonna ditch college because what... because Reagan asked you to?

Of course not. But she didn't go to college, and she's doing fine.

She's also a lesbian, something we both know you're not.

Well, tell it to my wardrobe.

I saw the way you blushed around Felix.

Not again with that.

I'm not into Felix.

And why are you so against me being a lesbian?

I'm not!

I'm against you changing who you are to make someone else happy.

Amy, the one thing you've always said is that you can't wait to get to college.

You're just upset that I'm not gonna be here this summer.

Yeah. I'll admit.

I wanna spend the summer together, doing things to get us into Clement.

Reagan wants you to go on tour with her.

What do you want?

I don't want to lose her.

Well, you can't lose yourself to keep her.

I got your text...

Why do you like me?

[laughs] What?

You claim your feelings for me are real.

You say you want me back. Tell me why.

And don't you dare say it's because I'm pretty.

Though that can be one of your reasons.

You're gorgeous.

You're also a tenacious badass.

You know what you want, and you won't stop until you get it.

You've been through some [bleep], but you refuse to see yourself as a victim.

Okay. What else?

Keep 'em coming.

Our first stop is Dallas. There's this barbecue joint that you're gonna love.

Reagan...

And then we drive to Amarillo.

Wait until you see Cadillac Ranch.

Reagan, I can't go on the road with you this summer.

Let me guess... Karma talked you out of it?

No. She just reminded me of who I am.

And who is that, exactly?

A sexually confused girl who... wants to go to college.

So you're not a lesbian either.

I don't know.

The best answer I can give you is maybe.

I'm sorry I don't have everything figured out like you do.

Ha. Hardly.

I don't have everything figured out, like...

I have no idea how I'm gonna get over you.

[sniffles] Um...

Does this have to be the end?

We're just in different places, Amy... as much as I wish we weren't.

Me too.

Can I have one last kiss?

♪ Won't you free my love ♪
♪ Only for a moment ♪
♪

Hey, you're frisky.

And here I thought you'd be exhausted.

I mean, how many Duke groupies did you get sweaty with tonight?

Just a few... the normal amount.

Wait, Duke, hold on!

I can't stand the thought of you hooking up with other people behind our Dumpster.

I only agreed to that because I thought that's what you wanted.

Really?

I haven't even hooked up with anyone else since we got back together.

Then why are you always on Stubbl?

[laughs] To see if you are.

Shut up! Me too.

Shane... when I got outed and lost my sponsorship, it was the worst day of my life.

You were the only one there for me.

I love you.

I'm not going anywhere.

I love you too.

♪ Free my love ♪
♪ Only for a moment ♪
♪ Only for a moment ♪

I just can't believe it's over.

For now.

But you know, maybe someday soon, you'll be in that place and she'll be in that place and... it'll finally be right.

I hope so.

[sniffles]

Will you stay over tonight?

Yeah, of course.

Were you gonna get waxy with Liam?

You're more important.