06x18 - A sh*t in the Dark

[bunniefuu]

[music]

[engine turns off]

[vehicle approaching]

[engine turns off]

Funny thing. You have mud covering both of your ...

[g*nsh*t]

Ohh!

[music]

Green tea with honey, and a redeye, three extra sh*ts.

Thank you.

You're drinking four sh*ts of espresso.

Yeah, 'cause these stupid cups don't hold five.

So I can take that to mean that you're not sleeping?

Almost every time I close my eyes, I see her face.

I know. So do I.

I just can't believe Alice got out of jail.

I mean, we were so close.

How does that make you feel?

Bad.

And mad.

And sad.

Strong feelings.

You care to explore them?

They're pretty simple.

Well, but what's behind them is not.

And you have been through so much.

I mean, look inside. What do you see?

I'm even madder and... sadder.

Nothing else?

No, I ... [sighs]

I don't know why this woman is obsessed with me.

I talked to her once at the police academy.

I don't know what I've done or what she thinks I've done.

I just ... I don't where she is, and until I have answers, I just ... This is it.

Bad, sad, mad.

Exactly.

Thanks for understanding.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go find her.

It was nice having coffee with you.

Yeah, good talk.

[title music]

6x18 - "A sh*t in the Dark"

[indistinct conversations]

[sighs]

Four years for possession with intent to distribute.

So Alice Sands is a drug dealer.

That explains where she got all the cash to be able to screw with my life.

I called Paul o'Connell.

From the drug unit.

Yeah, he's the guy that arrested Alice and put her in prison.

He's expecting you.

Okay. Great.

Well, the guard who supervised Alice Sand's release saw her get into a gold Plymouth Satellite, but he didn't get a plate.

They stopped making those in 1975.

Great. I'll put out a BOLO for the make, model, and color.

He get a look at the driver who picked her up?

No. But we're pulling video that might have caught an image.

Now that Alice Sands is out, I want to arrange protection, Jane.

No.

No, the last time you did that, I ended up in an apartment all by myself.

Jane.

What ... you're getting married today.

Can't miss that.

Can I?

Wha... I ...

[stutters mockingly] That's what I thought.

We only caught her because we got lucky.

She was pulled over on a routine traffic stop, and there was a bag in the trunk with enough cocaine in it to bring her up on intent to distribute.

But before that, she's never been on our radar in any way.

Okay, well, what about the rest of her operation?

Well, she didn't give up any information on it.

I mean, we dug around ... looked into possible associates.

We came up with nothing.

So you couldn't shut it down?

No. If her organization exists, it's deep, deep underground.

Well, there's got to be something. I mean, a paper trail or something from another investigation...

I'm sorry, detective. I got to go. I'm on a stakeout.

Good luck finding a drug ring that the drug unit couldn't.

It's hard to believe that's Alice Sands' dad.

Yep. Supercop.

Damn straight.

Someone should make a movie about him.

No one would believe it. This guy was amazing.

And his brother. His dad, too.

The fantastic three. Why did Alice break the mold?

Because Marvel had the rights to "Fantastic Four?"

Nerd humor. Nice.

[both chuckle]

Hey. So I left four messages for Detective McFadden, and I finally got one back ... "leave me alone."

I'll go.

You know him?

No, but I know his language. You have an address?

I'll text it to you.

Okay.

[telephone rings]

Hey. What'd you find out from o'Connell?

That Alice knew how to keep her drug business completely buried.

We already knew that.

Yeah.

Did you get a list of her visitors while she was in jail?

It's bizarre. She didn't have any.

What? She was there for four years.

Not one visitor.

This woman leaves no trace of anything behind her.

Jane, we got a hit on the gold Plymouth.

It was involved in a m*rder in Maine this morning.

Nina: The car belongs to a woman named Wendy Allen who was at MCI Framingham.

The same time as Alice?

Cellmates.

Wendy was in for prostitution and minor drug charges.

Served 11 months. Released two weeks ago.

Here she is in Maine.

[computer beeps]

Both the sh**t and Wendy are still at large.

That's Wendy coming out of the store after the trooper is sh*t.

Do we have footage of the driver?

No.

So we can't be sure that's Alice Sands.

She sh*t a cop and left her cellmate behind. That's her.

Tell the locals we're on our way. Come on, Frankie.

It's her turn to be chased.

[drone blades whirring]

[music]

Request permission to expand the search area.

Stay with quadrants A and B. She's got the river on one side.

We covered the road on the other.

Copy that.

g*n's still holstered, so he didn't feel like he was in danger.

Single g*nsh*t wound to the chest. d*ed instantly.

This wasn't a m*rder. It was an execution.

I'm sorry. This must be very difficult for you.

We got a good print off the broken wine bottle.

Belongs to Wendy Allen.

Uh, we can have our officer in our BRIC send you everything we have.

No, we're good.

Are you sure, because ...

Get Ramirez on it.

Trooper, do you have a problem with us being here?

I never have problems on my crime scenes.

There's mud underneath his nails.

Well, yeah, the security video caught him wiping it off the license plate.

He couldn't read the numbers.

Yeah, because she covered them up.

Well, I'd like to get a sample of this mud.

If we know its origin, we know where Alice Sands was prior to coming here.

Our M.E.'s on the way from Lewiston.

I'd like him to secure the evidence.

Who I'm sure is excellent, but Dr. Isles is the best.

We'll handle it.

Frederickson, make sure the scene stays fresh.

Okay, did your office tell you our connection to this case?

I believe the woman that you're looking for is Alice Sands.

She's an ex-con who's been targeting me and my family for weeks.

And Trooper Juster is like family to me, so it's personal for all of us.

Great! Then let's work together and ...

Officer. Not long ago, I was abducted.

Chloroformed. My hands were bound.

He hit me.

Oh, that's awful.

All that was done at the behest of the woman we're chasing, who most likely k*lled your friend.

[static crackles]

Williams: J.D., it's Williams.

Go.

Dogs picked up a scent. Quadrant B, West. We think it's Wendy Allen.

On my way. Let's go.

Thanks.

Frankie.

Jane.

I'm gonna take the samples back to Boston for analysis.

Okay. I'll see you there.

We need to take her alive.

No guarantees.

Man: Who the hell is it?

Oh, come on.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm through with cops.

McFadden, it's Vince Korsak. I brought a friend.

I got scotch.

Come on. One drink.

I won't be long. I'm on the way to a wedding.

Really? Who's getting married?

I am.

Well, good luck.

Fourth time's the charm, huh?

Fourth? [chuckles]

[whirring]

Dewey. It's J.D. Any visual on the suspect?

Dewey: No, sir.

Widen the search area.

Copy that. Proceeding to quadrants C and D.

[dog barks, g*nsh*t]

Watch the hunting blinds.

Mayor's citation for bravery.

Medal of valor. Police officer of the year?

Yeah, yeah. Lots of ribbons and plaques.

Nothing for "father of the year".

I mean, that's what you want to know about, isn't it?

Alice comes from a family of decorated cops.

Mm.

She took a different path. It's curious.

It's a lot more than curious. This is tragic.

That's my daughter, detective.

And even so, she'd be the one I'd be looking for if I was still on the force.

Nobody's pointing a finger at you.

Well, maybe they should.

Look, I think about this all the time. [sighs]

My Alice was perfect in high school.

She was valedictorian, cap... captain of the softball team.

And there's every reason to believe that she would have graduated first in her class at the academy.

But then, all of a sudden, everything went sideways.

Something happen?

She didn't do as well as I'd hoped, as she had hoped.

She resigned. I mean, she quit. [music]

She said she didn't have the heart for it anymore, and the only reason why she was there was because she was, uh ... she was a McFadden.

What'd Alice do after that?

It wasn't cop business, so I just didn't care.

It's, uh ... after she got arrested...

[chuckles] I sure learned a lot, didn't I?

Did you visit her in prison?

Hell, no.

I haven't talked to Alice since she, uh, got her inmate number.

And nobody in my family has, either.

Look, that's it. That's everything, all right?

That's high school, that's the academy.

You mind if I take that down to the station?

Please do.

I'll make sure you get everything back.

No need, detective. No need.

[music]

Angela: It's so romantic.

I mean, this is just all about them.

I think it's beautiful.

It still makes me ...

Nervous?

Yes.

Why? Do you think I'm going to propose to you?

What?

[laughs]

[sighs]

Don't worry. You're safe.

Mm.

Feel better?

Oh, yeah. [both laugh]

I won't wear it.

It's a tiny nod to propriety.

Do it for me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mimi, but this is for me and Vince.

We're having exactly the wedding we want.

Carter: Speaking of Vince, Kiki.

I have some real time restraints today.

Yeah, yes. I'll try him again.

No.

Hello, future Mrs. Korsak.

Oh. I am so glad you're here.

[cellphone beeps]

[chuckles]

Oh, wow.

Oh.

Wow. You look ...

Oh, thank you.

And wow.

You know.

Oh.

Angela: Hey, where were you? Ron was worried.

Nothing to do with you.

So it does have to do with me?

I think I'm gonna get something from the bar.

It's not open.

Sure, it is.

Ooh, I can help myself.

Oh. [chuckles]

Are you ready?

Absolutely.

Great. Let's do this.

Maura called. Jane's gonna be a little late.

Oh.

Uh, where's Maura?

She's across at the lab running some tests.

She'll come over when I give the word.

Okay.

Vince.

We're gonna lose Judge Carter.

Everything will be all right.

I'm gonna call Jane and get an exact time.

Okay.

[cellphone beeps]

[cellphone buzzes]

[cellphone beeps]

[sighs]

[cellphone beeps]

She's not picking up.

Probably driving. I bet she's right around the corner.

[crunch]

[g*n cocks]

You're taller than I expected.

[music]

Drop the g*n.

[g*n clatters]

You know what Alice did to me.

Can you imagine what she's gonna do to you when she doesn't need you anymore?

Keep talking while you can.

She left you at the station.

She left you out here to fend for yourself.

She's got a plan.

She tell you that plan?

Shut up. [sighs]

You better start thinking about yourself, Wendy.

Because Alice only thinks about herself.

She loves me.

Like she loved Joe Harris?

She had sex with him.

For a man, that's as good as love.

So she was just using him?

That's right.

But she's not using you?

Shut... up.

You know what? Fine.

Let's say Alice does love you.

She k*lled a state trooper.

These woods are full of angry troopers.

You getting sh*t. Was that part of the plan?

I love her.

Okay. But you're not a k*ller.

You're not.

Give me the g*n.

Jane: Korsak, I'm so sorry.

Well, you had a g*n to your head.

It's not like you stopped to catch a movie.

Yeah, I know, but I just ... I still feel bad.

You have that right.

Um, just ... I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?

Eh, what's a few hours between friends with an open bar?

I'm making margaritas!

[ice crackles]

[cellphone buzzes]

It's Nina. Just apologize to Kiki for me?

Will do.

Okay.

[cellphone beeps]

Nina.

Wendy's family owns a cabin an hour from the gas station.

I'm sure that's where they were headed.

It's about 45 minutes from the Canadian border.

I'm sending you the coordinates.

Okay, thanks.

[cellphone beeps]

Where's Miller?

What do you got?

GPS coordinates for a cabin owned by Wendy's family.

You think Alice is there?

Yeah, I think that was her plan.

What surprises me the most is the moisture retention in this soil.

The PH is decidedly different than the crime scene samples.

Mm-hmm.

Are you reading a comic book?

Uh, yeah.

I found them in the high school box.

These "Archies" are by far the most interesting.

Really? How so?

Well, in every way.

I mean, this guy's got a hell of a lot going on.

Kent.

Of course.

I do have a breakdown on the organic carbon content of the soil as well as particle size distribution and bulk density.

Great. I'd like to see it.

[sighs]

You know, I think Principal Weatherbee's far too hard on Archie, and I don't believe for one second he's ex-m*llitary.

If I say I agree with you, can we move on?

Of course.

A little space, Kent.

Oh.

[keyboard clacking]

[computer beeps]

There's no way the mud on those plates is from Maine.

No, it's from the banks of the Charles River.

Hmm.

[police radio chatter]

When did you tell Alice about the family cabin?

Was it a few months after you met her?

Hmm?

Mm. I'll bet that you told her and then quickly, your relationship got physical, huh?

You wanted Alice, she wanted the cabin.

She used you just like she used Joe Harris.

State troopers are at the cabin.

Nobody's there, but it's fully stocked as if two people were gonna be there for a while.

Car.

No tracks.

Mm. So no car, no Alice.

I love her.

She's not capable of love.

She is.

No, she isn't!

She only cares about herself.

That's not true.

Wendy, you got to help yourself.

She loved me.

It doesn't matter now.

It matters.

No.

I matter.

Not to her, you didn't!

I mattered!

Me and her son ... we mattered. And nobody else!

She has a son?

What's his name? Wendy, what is his ...

Frankie.

What's up?

Alice has a son. Call Nina.

Tell her to look somewhere near the Charles River.

[indistinct conversations]

I'm sorry, Vince.

The law must be served.

You're a good man.

Well, we can debate that later. Thanks, man.

[cellphone rings]

Jane.

Jane: I'm an hour away.

Just start the ceremony without me.

Don't bother. We had to send Judge Carter on his way.

Oh, Vince...

No, it's all right. My best man's worth waiting for.

And don't rush. We've rescheduled for tomorrow.

Where's Alice?

Stay with Kiki, okay? We'll discuss the case tomorrow.

[computer beeps]

[music]

Sorry.

I'm still here.

[elevator bell dings]

[telephone rings]

How's Kiki?

Fine.

Really?

Absolutely.

I'm more concerned about you.

Don't be.

Nina called. She's got something.

Alice is on the run. She's gonna make a mistake, and I'm gonna get her, Vince. I can feel it.

Come on.

Hey.

I've been staring at maps and thinking about where Alice would be going.

The border? Well, she can't get across.

And we have a BOLO on the Plymouth.

And an APB for Alice.

And she knows that.

[computer beeps]

She dyed her hair.

Yeah.

Now she looks like Wendy Allen.

Because nobody's looking for Wendy Allen.

Alice, as Wendy, walked into Canada at the Estcourt Station crossing two hours ago.

[computer beeps]

[computer beeps]

Okay, she's not dodging us again.

We'll have the RCMP bring her in. The mounties will get her.

Yeah, I want her here. Now.

[music]

Is this everything, Kent?

Uh, yeah.

More "Archie"?

I promise, everything of evidentiary value is on that wall there.

I do not understand your fascination with these.

It ... they're all just dating and flirting and crushes and makeouts.

Look.

I went to an all-boys boarding school on a barren heath.

The only girl I ever saw was on a poster for cheese.

These ... they're a great primer for relationships, something I know nothing about.

But it's just comic books.

Oh. Here comes Jane.

Thank God.

Well, I guess we'll continue our conversation later, Betty.

And I'll see you later, too, Veronica.

Later, jughead.

All right, so you ...

Please tell me you've got something good.

I've created a psychological profile of Alice Sands.

I thought if you could better understand the way she thought ...

I could figure out what she was gonna do next.

Fantastic.

Alice Sands, the high school student, was popular.

Homecoming queen.

Smart.

Valedictorian.

National honor society. Wow.

And driven.

"I want to be the first woman president or the president of the corporation that makes that happen."

All right.

She came from a family of highly decorated police officers, which creates a conflict.

When she joined the police academy, she assumed that she would excel, but she didn't.

She struggled because you were there.

Wh ... Me? I didn't even know her.

Well, she knew you, and she recorded your time in the mile, your test scores, all of which were faster and higher than hers.

You can graduate number two and still be a good cop.

Well, for Alice Sands, anything less than number one was a failure to herself and to her family.

Some rough life.

Based on this profile, Alice's fixation with you, the seeds of which were planted in the police academy, bloomed when she was in prison.

Cut off from her family, she lost all connection to who she was.

And she had a lot of time to think.

A narcissistic high achiever needs somebody to blame when things go wrong.

And Alice Sands believes that you're the reason that her life didn't go as planned. [sighs]

I just don't think she's gonna stop coming after you, Jane.

I think you're right.

I'm sorry.

No, don't be. This is great.

Jane.

[elevator bell dings]

Wait. Jane.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

What does the target of an obsessive narcissist do to draw their attention?

This is a bad road.

Well, I didn't pick this road.

I'm sure as hell not gonna let her drive.

[elevator bell dings]

Wedding. Yes. Going to get ready.

Don't. I just sent Kiki home.

Why? Did you call it off?

Postponed.

Frankie and Nina found Alice Sand's son.

[telephone rings]

[music]

Eric Stone visited Wendy every single week she was incarcerated.

And when Wendy was released, he visited Joanne Scott, the cellmate who replaced her.

In Alice Sands' cell.

Because he wasn't visiting Wendy. He was visiting Alice.

Do you know where we can find him?

I do.

[computer beeps]

[indistinct chatter]

"BCU ... a renowned institute of higher learning located by the beautiful Charles River.

Where you can get a great education in an historic setting."

And mud for your license plate.

All right, look. We'll divide and conquer.

Tonight. 7:00 at the Libes?

Excuse me. Eric Stone?

Alice Sands' son?

That's a yes.

Hey!

Hey! Take it easy.

[handcuffs click]

[siren wails in distance]

Eric Stone.

[door closes]

Anthropology major.

Dean's list. Service award.

Doesn't add up.

Why? Because of my mother?

Alice Sands isn't actually your mother.

Biologically? No.

Legally, no. You were never adopted.

And yet on your college registration forms, it says, "emergency contact: Alice Sands, mother."

We don't have papers, but she's my mother.

She saved my life, took care of me, set me on the right path. She loves me.

We're listening.

I never knew my dad. I was 5 when my mom OD'd.

I bounced around between relatives.

When I was 14, my cousin Freddie had me on the street as a lookout while he sold dr*gs.

Alice lived in the neighborhood. She took me in.

And were you a part of her drug business?

She's a legitimate businesswoman.

They why'd you run?

You framed her, you can frame me.

She wasn't framed.

Look.

Alice put me on the right track, made me stay in school, paid my tuition.

Okay, and then she turned to crime.

No, she was framed.

By who?

Cops.

What cops?

I don't know, but that's what she told me.

She was in jail because of cops.

She's a great woman, my mother. The best.

[knocks on door]

Hey. Got some news.

Alice Sands was spotted getting off a bus in Québec City.

They've tracked her to a warehouse district.

They've cordoned off a two-block radius.

As soon as backup arrives, they'll move in.

Got to love the mounties.

Yeah.

Let us know as soon as they have her.

Will do.

Thanks, Frankie.

Yeah.

That's good.

[door closes]

I'll make sure the extradition goes quickly.

Great.

I don't get Alice Sands at all.

Bad person that did something good with this kid.

Do you think she has legitimate businesses?

Looking to change?

Turn back into the Alice she was supposed to be?

Or these legitimate businesses were just a cover for her drug operation.

I think she k*lled a cop. That's my bet.

To say the least.

[cellphone rings]

[computer beeps]

Hey, Kiki.

Okay.

Well, let's talk. All right.

Everything all right?

I'm not sure.

Guess when you postpone your wedding twice, a person could have some questions.

Well, go. Talk to her.

Are you going back in?

No.

I'm gonna let him sit for a while, have Nina check out these legitimate businesses, start to dismantle her organization.

[door opens]

[music]

That's not what I said.

I would never tell you to draw a sociopath to you.

Well, that's what I heard.

Well, you heard what you wanted to hear.

Doesn't everybody?

Not like you.

That's not true.

Okay.

I just want you to stay in one piece.

Okay, well, that we can agree on.

Hi, Ma.

Hi!

Can you, um, describe me?

What?

Just, you know, like what kind of person you think I am.

Uh, what's going on?

Jane is trying to figure out why this Alice Sands is so obsessed with her.

Oh. Okay.

Someone with your confidence and drive can seem like a complete mystery to a person who lacks one or the other.

So therefore, they feel intimidated.

That's the non-clinical version, and she's right.

I don't mean to be intimidating.

But you are.

Yeah, you don't mean to be a pain in the ass, either, but sometimes I ...

Yes, I wonder where I got that.

It's a mystery.

Oh, there's something going on with Korsak and Kiki.

[sighs]

Angela: This looks serious.

Oh. He looks angry.

No, no, no. That's just his face.

We have an announcement.

It's kind of a big one, if we could get your attention.

What? It's [hiccups] beautiful.

Ron, do you think you could help out?

[laughs] Okay.

Who's that?

Okay. Here we go.

The sister.

We both realized that given what I do, there will always be another emergency.

Yes.

And we've tried to keep this wedding as simple as possible, which hasn't worked.

Wha... You're not canceling the wedding.

We're getting married in 20 minutes.

Judge Carter's on the way.

Yeah! [cheering]

Yes, and I'll make coffee for Mimi.

I'll throw some water on her. [chuckles]

And I have to change.

Yes. Oh! So do I!

Okay. Bye, Ma.

Bye.

Do you have a dress in a drawer?

Maybe. Where's yours?

Evidence locker.

[telephone rings]

Hey.

Any word from the mounties?

They're getting ready to move in.

[cellphone rings]

Which I just told my sister two minutes ago.

I'll tell her again.

I tracked Eric Stone's BCU tuition check to an "S" corp controlled by Alice Sands.

That led me down this trail.

[computer beeps]

"Quincy Street Investments. West End Appliances. New Brunswick Woodworks." These are legitimate?

Seems like it, but their origin, tax information that details what they do, it's all buried under layers of shell corporations and registering agents.

Why would you do that if they're clean?

Because you're using them for things that aren't.

[cellphone rings]

Wedding's on!

[cellphone chimes]

Yes, it is. I'm getting my hat.

Okay. Wait. You have a special wedding hat?

It's just a little hat.

It's only right for weddings.

[both chuckle]

You know, those Canadian businesses might make it easier to move things across the border.

Nice.

Thank you.

Yeah. [cellphone chimes]

Ah.

Aren't you coming?

Oh, yeah.

I just got to call Nicole. She's coming.

Great.

It is great, right?

That's what I said. Why wouldn't it be?

Oh, I don't know. I just thought you should know.

Now I know.

Great.

See you there.

Yeah.

[music]

Kiki ...

Wait! Sorry.

Can we all just make sure that our cellphones are off?

Korsak: Thank you, Jane.

[cellphones beep]

Kiki.

[chuckles]

[voice breaking] When I'm not with you, I will be waiting for you.

You will always be in my life.

Vince.

How did I get so lucky?

Aww.

By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you Vince and Kiki Korsak.

[cheers and applause]

It's official!

Out of sin!

[music]

♪ For your love ♪
♪ oh, I would do anything ♪
♪ I would do anything ♪

So what do you think?

♪ for your love ♪

Slim pickings.

Mm-hmm.

Just got slimmer. [sighs]

Did I miss it?

God.

[laughs] Yes.

Oh, God. The pleats take forever to iron.

Oh, Kent. You're wearing a dress.

No, Jane. It's a kilt.

And this kilt needs swinging.

No! [chuckles]

Fine. Suit yourself. Oh.

Not too much swinging, all right? Oh, God.

You know they don't wear anything under those?

Yes, I know that.

Uh, you need to go that way. Get up. Go.

Goodbye. Now. Hurry. Go.

[music]

[computer beeps]

[plays on guitar]

♪ You are my sunshine ♪
♪ my only sunshine ♪
♪ you make my happy when skies are gray ♪
♪ you'll never know, dear, how much I love you ♪

He's k*lling me.

♪ please don't take ♪

I can't hear you. I've got the ocean in my eyes.

♪ my sunshine away ♪

What? [chuckles]

Man: Uh-oh. Look out!

[all cheering]

Home!

Yeah!

Whoa! Go, Frankie!

Give me a kiss, baby!

[cheers and applause]

Ooh.

Did you see that?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, this could get good.

And I'm seeing it.

[music]

[laughter and cheers]

[up-tempo music plays]

Come on, let's dance.

Oh, no. No, I'm ...

You know I'm no good at it.

Uh, excuse me, Angela.

Uh, it would be my utmost honor if I could have this dance.

Whoa, not so fast, buddy. I haven't danced with my girl yet.

♪ and I can make a poor man shiver ♪
♪ cold in the heart of the city in the winter ♪ [chuckles]

You have a big heart.

Big feet, too.

Yeah, I know. [laughs]

♪ and the party don't start until we in there ♪

[dramatic music plays]

[up-tempo music continues]

[sighs] I've been a crappy best man.

There have been three before you, and you, Jane Rizzoli, are by far the best... looking.

[both chuckle]

♪ I can make lightning flash thank you. ♪
♪ in the palm of my hand, yeah ♪
♪ I can make the devil sell me his soul ♪
♪ and then calmly sing whoo-whoo-whoo ♪
♪ and if I get too mad ♪

No.

♪ I can make the thunder roll ♪

Ooh, yeah.

♪ yeah ♪

No, no.

Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

No, I ...

Hello, ladies.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Watch it, watch it.

Hello!

♪ but you don't wanna see, and she don't wanna leave ♪
♪ baby, I'm too hot, just dance with me ♪

Who is that?

Oh!

Jane!

Come on!

♪ we just came to party ♪
♪ we just came to party ♪
♪ we just came to party ♪
♪ we just came to party ♪

[music continues indistinctly]

[music]

[engine turns off]

[indistinct conversations]

[mid-tempo music plays]

Really? On a poster for cheese?

You poor thing.

At my wedding, you're going to wear a midnight blue strapless maid of honor dress.

No, I don't think so.

Why not?

Well, with the amount of alcohol that I'm gonna consume, that ... it's just not gonna work for me.

Okay.

Well, it would be a great color on your skin tone, so think about it.

Yeah, I've thought about it. No.

That's... I'm gonna need straps.

So the best man needs to make a toast.

Jane?

Oh, God. That's me.

Okay.

Yes.

Toast. Yeah.

Toast! Come on!

Toast!

Toast!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Woman: Come on!

I'm no expert on love. Or marriage.

Or toasts, actually, now that I think about it.

[chuckles] Um... but I have a PhD in Vince Korsak.

So I know what a good man looks like.

And when you look at Kiki, and Kiki, when you look at him, and you smile, it just ... that's what true love is.

That's what true love looks like.

So, uh, to Vince and Kiki. May you always look like that.

Yeah! Cheers!

Cheers!

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.

[bagpipe plays "Scotland the brave" poorly]

Ow!

My God, I thought the plumbing exploded again.

[laughter]

[music]

[all cheering]

Rice for you.

Rice for ...

No!

We're supposed to throw this at Korsak?

It's traditional.

I think it's gonna piss him off.

Nah, what do you think, Maura?

Is he armed?

Back home, it's tradition to capture the groom, strip him to the waist, and blacken him with treacle and then parade him around the village.

[laughing] All right.

I'm crossing "see a Scottish wedding" off my bucket list.

Unless it's Kent's.

Thank you very much.

[all cheering]

Korsak: Oh! Hey!

[applause, laughter]

Listen. If you need me, I'm reachable.

Oh, stop.

A littles less reachable.

Thank you.

All right, tomorrow.

Could you not?

It's the fourth one.

I mean, like, come on. Seriously.

g*n!

[crowd screaming]

[g*nsh*t]