01x05 - w*r

[bunniefuu]

[applause]

[ragtime piano music]

♪ ♪

How you doing, Roy?

I's all right.

I understand you havin' problems with your landlord.

Oh, ain't that the truth.

He told me I gotta pay my rent or move on out.

I suppose his words moved you to tears.

Nope.

They moved me to the sidewalk.

[laughter]

Tried to get me a job the other day.

Oh, yeah?

How much they gon' pay?

They said they's gonna pay me what I's worth.

[scoffing] Well, that ain't fair.

You gotta make some money.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[thunder crashing]

Oh, look at the rain.

Hold on. There you go.

Ready?

One, two, three, go!

Go, go!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[light country music playing on radio]

♪ ♪
♪ They tell me ♪
♪ You've got a bad name ♪

[laughs]

That n*gg*r's wetter than a well digger's ass.

♪ And you're only preaching ♪

[laughs]

♪ Regret ♪
♪ ♪

Damn it.

♪ But that is the song of a star ♪
♪ At night ♪

[woman singing indistinctly]

♪ ♪

All right.

n*gg*r's got a kid in the car.

You stay here, Hap.

Hold down the wagon train.

You stay put, you hear?

Mm-hmm.

[woman singing indistinctly]

It's a hell of a night for this.

Don't worry, I'm just here to help.

Oh, thank you, sir.

What's going on?

I don't know.

Take a look at that.

All right.

Light that up for me?

Sure thing.

[woman singing indistinctly]

♪ ♪

[tires squealing]

♪ ♪

[thunder crashes]

[woman singing indistinctly]

♪ ♪

Think I know what's happening.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[tires squealing]

♪ ♪

[groaning]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

So this is what a working co*n gets these days, huh?

It's damn nice.

I was expecting an outhouse, a couple of chickens on the porch.

And you bleeding-heart liberals think there's something wrong with this country?

Come on. Out.

♪ ♪

Any ideas?

I got an idea.

Shut up.

Get out of the van.

♪ ♪

[dramatic percussive music]

♪ ♪

Paco.

You have to stop this.

[laughs]

Why? [laughs]

Everything we worked for, you're throwin' it away.

Do you know how much a new face cost?

Why is there talking?

Is she laying a guilt trip on you, Paco?

[as Trudy] We we're a team.

sh*t like that?

Check this out, Doodles.

Hey, Paco, where's the money?

They buried it in the barn.

Ooh.

Money wins every time.

Angel, baby.

Yeah?

Find us a shovel.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[whispering] Hap.

[whispering] Yeah?

You see any chance, don't you hesitate.

Just don't go all Rambo on me or we'll end up like Chub.

Damn fool.

♪ ♪

Sticking his neck out for me.

♪ ♪

Dig. Jig.

Can you dig it?

"Warriors"? Anybody?

Soldier.

Now, what if I... what if we just agreed to... split the money?

Just split it?

Yeah, we could just split it 'cause this is a... this whole thing is a charity drive and I'm a...

I'm a generous individual.

No, I get all the money.

We get all the money.

Wh... what I mean is, uh, I could take the money and... and, uh, I could probably double, triple your investment.

What are you gonna do with it?

Uh, for starters, we're gonna do whatever the hell we want, Howie, and then... after that, I'm gonna buy the biggest rock that I can find and I'm gonna put it on the finger of this lovely thing, and make her an honest woman. Okay?

Not too honest. Not very honest at all, but she will be the biggest trophy wife the world has ever known.

I said dig.

Come on.

[g*n cocks]

[thuds]

Eureka.

Lenny, help me out, would you?

Len, could you help me out please?

Get down there.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[groans]

♪ ♪

Paco.

Come over here, please.

♪ ♪

Well, that ain't good.

No, for them it's not good.

Hey, Howie. How... how is that foot?

No.

How is the other foot?

It was...

Howie.

It was there.

Howie.

I... I swear. Paco saw it.

Paco! You saw it.

It was there!

[yells]

Oh, no, shh.

Don't. Stop whining.

Stop whining 'cause that's getting on my nerves and I...

[yells]

I have sensitive nerves.

♪ ♪

Baby, can you give me that, please?

Thank you. [sighs]

Howie, come here, would you?

Would you come... could you stand right here for me?

[yells]

Ooh!

Where's the money?

[Howie groans]

Howie.

I didn't touch it.

I didn't touch it.

Then who did?

[g*n cocks] Who did?

Howie, who did?

[groaning]

[yelling] Who did?

[groans]

[g*n cocks]

I moved it!

Say what?

You heard me!

I moved it someplace you'll never find it!

♪ ♪

The biggest balls in this room are swingin' from a cooch.

I got to love that.

♪ ♪

Trudy... what do you say you and I, we have a heart to heart now?

Yeah, let's do that. Come on.

Come over. You're gonna come over here now.

[yells] Uh-uh-uh-uh.

Don't be smart, fellas.

Dumb suits you much better.

This is a sweet set-up he's got here, huh?

[sighs]

Gonna marry that woman in there.

I'm gonna take her someplace like this.

South America maybe.

House on the beach, fruit trees...

[sighs]

That stuff costs money though, and it's money that you hid from me.

Are you scared?

I don't blame you. I'm scary stuff.

[owl hooting]

[g*n cocks]

What's the place you work called again?

Family Burger.

That's the one.

Gosh, you see those places everywhere now, huh?

What do they pay? Minimum wage?

Less?

And what is that? Two, three bucks an hour?

Tips if you smile?

You like serving truckers, fat kids for that kind of money?

'Cause I think a woman like you, a woman who looks like you should aim higher and not for nothing.

You're not getting any younger, Trudy.

Listen, eventually folks are gonna find those cops, and this place gonna get hotter than the devil's ass cr*ck, and I just don't have the time to wait.

So here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna give this back to you. All of it.

You can get yourself a new dress, a new hairdo, whatever, and I'll even sweeten the pot, okay?

And which... which car is yours?

I'm gonna let you ride that beater out of here and leave all this sh*t behind.

You'll never see me again.

All you got to do is tell me what I want to know.

♪ ♪

What do you say?

♪ ♪

This is your call, sister.

♪ ♪

[exhales sharply]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Come on.

[groans]

Come on.

♪ ♪

[whimpering]

Oh, please.

Oh, baby. Baby.

[whimpering]

Angel, baby.

♪ ♪

The sun's almost comin' up, and I'm just so hungry I could eat the balls off a low-flying duck.

Could you whip us up some French toast?

And after that, I'm gonna go to work on this bitch.

[g*n cocks]

♪ ♪

[dogs barking]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

Mm.

I love these placemats.

♪ ♪

Found these in Casanova's bedside table.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Kinky little son of a bitch, ain't ya?

Ask your mother.

Or your poppa.

[metal clinking]

Hey.

Where'd you hide it?

I can't remember.

Okay.

You do know that Angel and me can help you remember, right?

We have plans for that money.

You just want to spend it.

What are you, a communist?

That's what money's for. It's for spending.

This is America.

And you're what's wrong with it.

Oh.

We need that money to change things.

And I thought the syrup was too sweet.

You poor bastards.

The '60s are over and you just don't even know it yet.

You had your chance, and you failed because of a simple reason: people suck, and they want everything.

You're wrong.

Am I?

Your own ex-wife double crossed you.

Cost you a toe and almost a nut, and you're gonna buy her sh*t?

I did it for the cause.

Do you believe that, Howie?

Is she a true believer or is she just doing this for herself?

'Cause I want to find that out, and I'm not gonna ask you again.

Where's the money?

♪ ♪

Trudy, will you just tell him?

♪ ♪

I'd rather burn it than let him have it.

[groans]

Who are you? Joan of Arc?

We all know what happened to her.

Are you ready for that sh*t?

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Angel.

[whispering indistinctly]

Go on.

It's all country.

Figured you'd be more of a soul man or a funk fella.

Yeah, well, country got soul.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Okay.

Actually... you want to hear some real sh*t?

[electronic music plays through stereo]

♪ ♪

Hey.

[clears throat]

[metal crashes]

♪ ♪

That's a big toolbox, baby.

♪ ♪

Let's see what we got here 'cause I am done asking nicely, but it's gonna feel way longer to you than it is to me.

♪ ♪

I like that.

Baby, could you help me pick out a couple nails?

About the size of Lenny's d*ck?

♪ ♪

[thuds]

♪ ♪

Pain's such a great motivator.

I'm not talking about PMS.

I'm talking about real pain, kind of pain that makes you want to crawl up inside yourself and disappear.

♪ ♪

Paco, if Happy or the Buck make a move, could you sh**t them in the knee?

Baby, would you hold her left hand right there for me?

No. [whimpering]

♪ ♪

If you hurt someone enough...

[exhales nervously]

Things become clear like glass, and all those lofty ideas, they just fall away. and you are left with one truth, and that truth is make the pain stop.

[whimpers]

♪ ♪

Last chance.

♪ ♪

[whimpering]

♪ ♪

Well, a drum roll would be nice.

Come on, Trudy, just tell him.

[whimpering]

Can't have everything you want.

♪ ♪

[screams]

[yelling]

[screams]

[gagging]

[groans]

[gasping]

Snap out of it. Focus up.

Focus up.

[moaning]

You're gonna tell me what I want because I have a shitload of nails.

[groans]

♪ ♪

That's dedication.

♪ ♪

That is real.

Has she always been like this, Hap?

Come on, no wonder you guys couldn't work it out.

I bet she hogged the remote and sh*t.

She's not gonna talk, and hurting her again won't work.

♪ ♪

[exhales sharply]

Well, now I... now I see why she settled for this weak fart over here.

[moaning]

He lets her do whatever she wants.

She goes behind his back, and she steals his money for his cause while she's giving you the pink kitty.

Now he's gonna walk the plank for her.

Howie, when this is all over, she's just gonna come crying back to you... and she's gonna be saying she did it all for you, and she's gonna bat her little eyes, and then she's gonna string you along again, man.

When's the last time she humped you, pal?

♪ ♪

[whispering] I could get her to talk.

Say again?

♪ ♪

Could you say that a little louder?

I don't think she heard you.

I can get her to talk.

After what I just did to her?

♪ ♪

Hurting her won't work.

Okay, enlighten me.

♪ ♪

You have to hurt him.

You son of a bitch.

[sobs]

Oh, that is rich.

[sobbing]

♪ ♪

Did you hear that, baby?

♪ ♪

That was the sound of Howie's balls dropping.

♪ ♪

We ain't in the '60s anymore, are we, Howie?

♪ ♪

Stand up for me, Professor.

♪ ♪

Would you take that?

I want you to take that.

[g*n cocks]

No.

Take that for me.

♪ ♪

And now I want you to hit Happy in the mouth with it.

I want you to hit him as hard as you can.

I want you to see how many teeth you can break on the first swing.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

You don't, I'll sh**t you in the head.

You too if you even move.

God damn it.

And I want you to keep swinging until Doodie bird here sings, or you can just answer the question.

[whimpering] Howie.

No.

You gonna listen to him, Howard?

He doesn't have a choice.

[whimpering] No.

Tell him! Just tell him!

Howie...

Trudy, will you just tell him where the God damn money is?

Great idea, Trudy, just tell me.

Two.

Howard, don't!

Sorry.

2 1/2.

No!

Three!

No!

I'm sorry!

Don't! Not on my watch.

Stop! No!

Wait, wait, wait!

I... I know where the money is!

Nice try.

No, I do.

I was sitting out on the porch and I saw her come in, and... and I saw what was on her shoes.

I don't want shoes! I want money, Hap!

I know where the money is because of what I saw on her shoes!

♪ ♪

Just give me a shovel...

♪ ♪

And I give you the money.

♪ ♪

Well, now we're cookin' with gas.

Okay.

Did you hear that, baby?

He's gonna give us the money.

♪ ♪

You're all right, Hap.

I think I could get to like you.

I will never like you.

I'll give you the money if you... if you'll let us go, and that's all of us, including her.

Have I said anything different?

It's what I've been sayin' all along, Hap.

♪ ♪

You went all in, didn't you, Howie?

♪ ♪

But you call yourself a hippie?

♪ ♪

[g*nsh*t]

Oh, God, no!

[screams]

[whimpering]

[sighs]

I hate duplicity in a man.

No offense to you, Paco.

♪ ♪

Let's go get that money, Hap.

♪ ♪

[birds cawing]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[intense music]

♪ ♪

Stay here, Paco.

Keep the eye on that one.

Happy, Hap, Happy, what is with you and that crazy assh*le inside, huh?

She just stinks of trouble, man.

She got a honey puss or what?

Not that I am interested.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about her.

It's a sore spot?

You know, believe it or not, I was with some real pieces of sh*t before my Angel baby here came along.

Where are we going?

Over there. Dog pens.

All right.

[dogs barking]

Hey, boy.

Hey. Hey, Switch.

Good boy.

[dogs whining]

Where's the money?

Hey.

It's in one of those pens.

I don't know which one.

Then how do you know it is here, Hap?

'Cause I saw the dog sh*t on her shoes.

Are you sure?

I'm bettin' my life on it.

[dog panting]

Damn right you are.

Open it.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[dogs whining]

Come on, Switch. Come here, boy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I got to take him out so I can go in there and dig.

Okay.

All right. All right.

Good boy. Good boy, Switch.

Say hello to Mr. Soldier.

Hey, okay, man.

Ouch!

[intense music]

[dog growls]

[yelling]

[yelling]

[screaming]

♪ ♪

[screams] You bitch!

[dog growling]

Hey! [thuds]

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[bottle clatters]

[g*nsh*t]

[dog growling]

[yells]

Run, Switch!

Run for the woods!

[yells]

[dog barking]

♪ ♪

[both grunting]

[dog barking]

Aah!

[both yelling]

[crashing, clattering]

[dog barking]

[g*nsh*t]

Get up! Come on!

Let's go!

[both grunting]

Bitch!

[both groaning]

[yells]

[gasping]

God damn it, you've been hit.

No, keep goin'. Come on.

[Trudy screams]

Keep goin'! Hap!

Don't you even think about askin' me to go in there!

We keep runnin'!

We hit the road, flag down a car, and call the cops!

Come on!

[yells]

Hap!

Come on, we can't just leave her there, man.

Yes, we can!

That bitch brought all this sh*t down on us!

On our heads and for what? Money?

Ain't no money worth dying for, Hap.

Oh, come on, that's bullshit, man, and you know it.

You would never run away from a fight in your life!

This ain't no God damn fight!

They gon' k*ll us or we're gon' k*ll them.

[panting]

This is w*r!

I've been there, Hap. You ain't.

You ready for that?

[yells]

[whimpers]

[intense music]

♪ ♪

[yelling]

♪ ♪

[grunting, screaming]

Put it out! Put it out!

[panting]

[whimpering]

[fire cackling]

God damn, that man loved putting his head on fire.

You want to go finish this off, baby?

♪ ♪

[gasping]

♪ ♪

[sobbing]

♪ ♪

[crying]

♪ ♪

[glass shatters]

[screams]

[intense music]

[groans]

[gagging]

[laughs]

[gagging, grunting]

♪ ♪

[yells]

[coughs]

♪ ♪

[g*nshots]

♪ ♪

Go. Get. Stay down.

In the corner.

No! What have you done?

[all groaning]

Oh, you shitheads!

God!

You ain't hit again?

God damn it!

Dear God! [whimpers]

[all panting]

You okay?

She fine. I'm the one that's sh*t.

[groans]

[all panting]

Where he at?

I don't know. I can't see him.

[sobbing]

[yells]

Oh, Trudy... you got to get that out.

Come here.

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

[both groan]

Here.

[whimpers]

Here. Here.

Wrap it 'round. Hold it tight.

[panting]

That's it. Real tight.

[whimpers]

God damn it. God damn it.

We gotta find something to cut the chain.

Oh, come on.

[groaning]

Call 911.

Yeah.

9... come on...

1, 1.

[panting]

The phone's dead.

[whimpers]

They must've cut the line.

sh*t.

Hey, come on. Come on.

All right. Yeah.

Come on. This way.

Shh.

Okay.

All right, come here.

[groaning]

Baby, shh.

Shh.

[groans]

Okay.

[groaning]

[whimpers]

[yells, groaning]

Shh.

[whimpering]

Shh.

[groaning]

That went clean through.

You're gonna be okay.

Baby, I'm sorry.

Oh, come on, this ain't your fault.

It ain't your fault.

How you doing?

[whimpering]

I don't feel too good.

You look great.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Name says it all.

Just like an angel.

[solemn instrumental music]

♪ ♪

You know, when we get that money, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna take you right to Acapulco like I promised.

Sunshine, sand, salt, that is our future.

We're just gonna rest up here for a bit first.

Okay?

Sure?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Okay. Shh.

I got it. I got it.

♪ ♪

They're not gonna get away with what they did.

Daddy's gonna take care of everything.

♪ ♪

Who's my girl?

I am.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[grunting] God damn it.

♪ ♪

[both grunt]

[groans]

Holy sh*t.

Oh. Oh, God.

♪ ♪

[groans]

♪ ♪

So how's it feel?

sh**t' something that ain't a target?

[chuckles]

I don't know.

I haven't had a chance to think about it yet.

You will.

You came back.

So why'd you move the money? Huh? Really.

The dr*gs. Leonard was right.

sh*t, you'll just say anything now.

She need us.

That's not true.

Oh, bullshit.

You was gonna take that money for yourself and you know it.

That money was meant for something good!

Shh, shh, shh, settle down. Both of you.

I hope it was worth it when we are all lying here dead.

Oh, God.

You're bleeding out real fast.

We got to get him to the hospital.

Yeah, how we gonna do that?

We can go for the van.

What? Hasn't Soldier got the keys?

Howard always kept an extra set on him.

We go ahead and make a run for it.

I got half a leg, two pints of blood.

I ain't running nowhere.

Okay.

Trudy, you're gonna have to go.

Get the keys, get the van, bring it over to the porch.

I'll carry him if I have to.

Go out there?

Well, he can't walk.

I can't drag him if... and move.

Well, it's either that or...

We're just gonna sit here and... and bleed to death.

sh*t.

Shh.

I'm scared.

[light instrumental music]

♪ ♪

I'd be more worried if you weren't.

Oh, hell. The way you stood up to Soldier, this ought to be a piece of cake for a big ol' martyr like you.

Yeah, you're not making this any easier, you know that?

Hap. Hap.

[coughing]

♪ ♪

We get through this, I'll never leave you again.

♪ ♪

That was just in case.

Yeah, okay.

Now you go and get those keys, huh?

♪ ♪

[groans]

♪ ♪

[grunts] sh*t.

Damn. [exhales sharply]

♪ ♪

That's it. Come on, girl.

Okay, okay. Okay, got the keys.

♪ ♪

Okay, come on. Come on, let's go.

Come on.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[engine revs]

That's it.

Good girl.

[engine turns over]

[instrumental music]

[g*nsh*t]

[screams]

Oh!

Sh...

[intense music]

Come on, girl.

Come on, girl.

Come on.

Come on.

♪ ♪

Come on! Come on, Trudy! Come on.

No, no.

♪ ♪

[screams]

♪ ♪

[engine revving]

♪ ♪

[inhales sharply]

♪ ♪