01x06 - Stuck in the Slushinator

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

I found you some glasses.

Great. I wanna make a good impression at work today.

And everyone knows glasses make you look smarter.

Uh, these don't exactly scream successful businesswoman.

Hey, I'm working with the Diaz Halloween box here.

Designer options are limited.

So listen to this.

When a Diaz kid turns 13, they get to work at Dad's marina store.

I know. You're waiting for the cool part.

Well, I've got this million-dollar idea that I've been working on for months, and I'm gonna sell Dad on it.

I've also got these.

Seriously?

I took the mustache off.

Truth is, I don't have to worry about looking professional.

My idea is going to stand on its own, and it's going to turn Dad's bait and tackle shop into a sweet hang.

We're going to make this... into this.

Harley's Slushy Shack.

If you can say that five times fast, you get one free.

Dad is going to be stoked when I tell him my plan.

Not happening.

I am no longer accepting applications from people in our family.

But Dad, every Diaz kid so far has had a chance to work here.

Exactly. Why do you think I'm saying no?

I wouldn't buy that.

It makes you look a little bit puffy.

Just because you're fishing doesn't mean you have to look like a whale.

Sorry.

I can't sell you Jerry.

Not for bait.

Oh, oh, and definitely not Earl.

Sorry, honey.

Family and business just don't mix.

Neither do Beast and bath time, but you still give it a try once in a while.

Hey, my dream was to have all you kids working here, but it conflicted with my other dream of not going out of business.

But Dad, my slushy idea was going to pull this place out of the dumps.

The dumps?

This store supports a family of nine.

Yes, and the slushy business was going to be my escape from that family of nine.

I need to prove to Dad that I'm different.

That I can succeed where others have failed.

That mistakes of the past can stay in the past.

Plus, if I can't work at the store, I'm stuck doing chores.

You missed a spot.

I'd point out other mistakes, but I'm off to the ball with Price Cuffingham.

I can't let that happen.

There's going to be a Harley Slushy Slack...

Shushy Sack...

Slussy Sack.

Okay, I may have to change the name, but it's on.

♪ Sometimes it feels like things are outta control ♪
♪ Like you're living in a circus ♪
♪ Try to figure out your way in the world ♪
♪ Where you're at is kinda perfect ♪
♪ So turn it up, turn it up ♪
♪ Do your thing, don't stop ♪
♪ Let the games begin, let's jump right in ♪
♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪
♪ In the middle of the party ♪
♪ We're just getting started ♪
♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪
♪ In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat ♪
♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪
♪ Get stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ I wanna get stuck with you ♪

Dad, I know you're not sure about me working at the marina, so I put together 101 reasons why you should hire Harley.

Number one...

All right, guys, listen up.

I need everybody's attention, and I know I only have two minutes before you all lose focus.

(making funny voices)

Two minutes? That's being generous.

I just found out we're the only family that doesn't have a photo in the church directory.

Based on the twin's behavior at church, maybe that's best.

People need to see the Diazes are a nice, normal family, despite the small fire in the confessional booth.

We have tons of pictures. Just send one over. Problem solved.

Anyway, first reason why I should work at the marina.

I'm patient.

We do have a ton of photos, none of which I'm in because I'm always stuck taking them.

We only have one photo of the whole family.

I like that one. I look cute scared.

No. The church photographer will be here Saturday at 3:00.

Attendance mandatory.

Okay, reason number two why I should work at the store.

I'm sorry, Harls. I've made my decision.

Please, not another word.

Nope.

Eh, good enough.

"Reason number 14.

Hire Harley for the sweet smell of success."

"Reason number 37.

Harley can make your business take off."

Harley: Reason number 100, brought to you by the Harley station.

First up, an oldie but a goodie.

Let Harley help.

♪ If Harley could work at the store... ♪

All right, you can work at the store.

Just make this stop.

Awesome!

I won't let you down like the other kids.

I found a used slushy machine for only $500.

You haven't even started, and I'm $500 in the hole?

Look, you can work at the marina, but you can't cause trouble or cost me money.

I can live with that.

And I won't bother you again. Starting now.

Here, kitty, kitty. Breakfast time.

Hey, you found a cat.

I'm guessing this is why you've been stuffing bacon down your pants.

No, stuffing bacon down my pants is how the cat found me.

Okay, but he probably belongs to somebody.

Does he have a collar?

Nope. He showed up naked.

Man, I've always wanted a pet.

But Mom and Dad said they've already dealt with enough things that poop where they shouldn't.

Can I play with him?

Can you fit under the house?

Hey, maybe if we convince Mom and Dad we're responsible, they'll let us keep him.

Sounds like a lot of work.

Come on, wouldn't it be great if we had a family pet?

I already have a pet, under the house.

I may be stuck under here.

Big-people problems.

Okay, here's my latest invention which costs you no money or concern.

Is that my tarp?

Minus the tarp, to be put back later, I present to you without further ado, and no idea what ado means, but we will have no further of it.

The Slushinator.

Pretty cool, huh?

Custom built to use my biggest source of free energy, Lewie and Beast.

What am I paying them?

Our weight in slushy.

See? Self-sustaining, and costs you no money for electricity.

Plus, customers get a show, and Lewie and Beast will be so tired by the end of the day, it'll be like you only have five kids.

On the other hand, I'm coming to work with three kids instead of none.

Just say yes.

We were behind the tarp for 45 minutes.

Diaz colada.

A trip to the islands for only four dollars.

You can sucker people into paying four bucks for some color, sugar, and ice?

Pedal away, gentlemen.

Hey, Rachel, just so you don't, you know, get us banned from church, show me the outfit you're wearing in the photo tomorrow.

I got mine.

No sports jerseys.

Rethinking mine.

I've narrowed it down to a few options that are totally on point.

Too short, too tight, too much, too little.

You do understand this is for the church directory, not a hip-hop video.

Mom, you should always display your "A" game.

This isn't just for people at church.

It's also being seen by all the Catholic boys' schools in town.

Wait, even St. Joseph's where Johnny Hoskins suits up?

I don't know that name.

He's the mascot.

That's why. The only boys I know dress like people, not birds.

He is an eagle!

And when Johnny soars, the crowd goes wild!

Cherry me, my man.

Can do, partner.

All in the wrist.

Okay, we have one Blueberry-oncé, and one Grapey Perry coming right up.

How's our little friend? Sill won't come out, huh?

My friend.

I don't think he likes you.

He hasn't even met me.

Sometimes you just know.

Well, he'll warm up to me.

I'm gonna hit the pet store and grab a few things.

That way, if Mom and Dad let us have him, we're all set. Just the bare essentials.

One bed shaped like a hamburger bun.

One kitty yoga mat.

One cat beret.

And a bow tie to go with the cat beret.

Did you get cat food?

I'll be back.

Yeah.

Great work today, fellas.

It's like you were born to slush.

Yeah. Anyway, we quit.

What? We had a deal.

You were going to work until I could buy my own slushy machine.

We're tired of being in here.

We wanna go outside and get some exercise.

Yeah. Maybe go ride our bikes.

You've been riding bikes all day.

Sorry, Harley. Team decision.

There's my little slushy star.

You were drawing so many people, the lines were backing up in the store all morning.

Well, that's not going to be a problem anymore.

It sure won't, not if we cut a window right next to the counter.

This way, we can get customers from inside and outside.

That sounds like that money and trouble you were trying to avoid.

It's about me saying I'm sorry for pre-judging you based on your brothers and sisters.

Dad, I can't let you do that.

Oh, I'm not doing it.

Hit it, Tony.

Reason number one to fire Harley.

She put a giant hole in the wall.

(chainsaw buzzing)

What do you think?

I'm gonna add "world's best."

Why not? No one checks.

Well, if it doesn't work, we can always fix it, right?

No. Mm-mm.

This ain't goin' back in.

Broke my chainsaw gettin' it out.

♪ If Harley could work at the store ♪
♪ You something-something catchy ♪

If I don't get Lewie and Beast working for me again, he's going to be singing a whole different song.

And if they won't play ball, I'll have to play dirty.

It's such a shame you're walking away from the slushy world.

Yeah, Beast and I have bigger plans.

Today, we're digging for mummies.

Beast does the digging, and if we find any mummies, I sell them on the internet.

Smart.

I could always tell you were the brains of the operation.

But I can't believe you're wasting that talent on something other than slushies.

It's not just me saying this.

The scout from the National Slushy Federation thought so, too.

There was a scout there?

Yes.

Herbert von Slushcheck.

He said if you keep it up, there's talk of putting a statue of you in front of their headquarters.

Cool!

I've got the pose already.

You're going to go down in slushy history.

You're the star of this operation.

I am?

That's what the guy from the federation said.

He was talking about giving you a star on the slushy walk of fame, right next to the guy who invented non-staining syrup.

One guy did that?

Yes. Horace Noredmouth.

Horace Noredmouth. Beast.

I can totally see that.

And here is your Lady Ga-guava.

Good work. I know you're trying your best to keep up.

I'm not trying my best.

I am the best. I'm the brains.

That's the most important thing when it comes to slushies.

Who sold you that nonsense?

Only the top scout in the business.

Herbert von Slushcheck.

What kind of fake name is that?

I'm getting a star next to Horace Noredmouth.

Big deal. I'm getting a statue.

People will be stomping on your star taking a picture of my slushy-pouring pose.

Oh, yeah? Well, this is my slushy-pouring pose.

Ah, yeah! (laughing)

Guys! Guys!

What's going on?

I refuse to work side by side with this sorry sack of slush.

I refuse to work side by side on a Slushinator that's touched this monkey butt's butt.

Man, first my older siblings mess me up, and now my younger.

Why didn't someone tell me it was a bad idea to hire family?

Oh, right.

Oh, hey, I need someone to find out which kind of cat food is tastier.

Is Beast around?

Beast? Not really ringin' a bell.

Twin brother, best friend.

The guy you always hang out with.

Oh, yes, the simple one.

Well, that's all over now.

I'm a solo act.

What?

How dare you touch my stuff?

Please tell me that's a filthy rag.

Those are my lucky undies.

I never wash them.

Hey, what did you do to Lewie and Beast?

I had Lewie's dirty underwear on my head.

See how stiff my hair is?

That's not gel. That's hand sanitizer.

Business seems to have dropped off.

Hey, where are the boys?

They're on a break.

Geez, Dad, you can't just work your employees to the ground.

Good call. Hey, Tony, take five.

You know what? Take six.

Look, whatever happened between Lewie and Beast wasn't my fault.

All I did was tell each of them they were better than the other so I could continue making money.

Sounding a little like your fault.

Splitting them up, not a good move, Harley.

What are you doing?

Practicing my smile for the church photo.

I have to impress Johnny Hoskins.

He's the Eagles mascot. Go play with Beast.

I can be quiet.

Did you know that, when you smile, one eye goes up and the other goes down?

It's cool, like you're melting or something.

Go!

Sorry.

Pretend I'm not here.

Too much gums.

This is how you smile.

See? Cute, not crazy.

I don't see any difference.

That's the first sign of craziness.

Beast, please!

I wanna look good for this picture.

Ever since my hair dryer broke, these vents are the only place I can get a good blow-out.

No problem.

What are you doing?

I'm having window races.

Who do you like, driver's side or passenger?

Neither. Shouldn't you be with Lewie?

Who needs Lewie?

He doesn't know anything about fun.

Now, driver's or passenger's? Driver's or passenger's?

Driver's or passenger's?

Fine! Driver's!

Driver's side wins!

(honks horn)

Whoo! Whoo!

(continues honking horn)

Ah, finally.

The perfect outfit.

This says church without all the church.

I think it's awesome.

My teacher wore one just like it.

Your teacher?

Funny thing with her.

I could never tell where her nose hair ended and her mustache began.

Ugh!

Rachel: Get it off!

Georgie: I don't know how to smile.

I'm not being in any picture with Beast!

I'm not being in any picture with Lewie!

Also, I locked the keys in the car.

Didn't I tell you?

You split up Lewie and Beast, bad things happen.

Great. Now I glued my eye shut.

I have to fix this unholy mess.

(doorbell ringing)

Right after the church photographer takes a picture of it.

Hi. Bad timing.

We're actually right in the middle of our family prayer circle.

Mother: Beast, for the last time, pants on.

Everybody needs pants on.

Like the Good Book says, thou shalt always wear thy pants, willst thou...

Come back in two hours.

Okay, that bought me some time to make things right.

Sorry I dragged You into that.

New plan. We sneak the cat into the family picture.

Once he's in the photo, Taffy's officially in the family.

Taffy? What else you got, Grandma?

Hey, you spend your allowance at Pet City, you can name the cat.

Hey, there's no rhinoceros in here.

You promised me the rhinoceros.

This fight has to end.

And not just because there's a photographer due back here any minute.

Because you're Lewie and Beast.

Beast and Lewie.

Born first. Just saying.

Either way.

You go together like pickles and bananas.

I mean, only you think they go together, but both of you do.

So what do you say?

Friends?

Both: No.

Look. A pig on a pogo stick.

Whoa! That's not a pig on a pogo stick.

No, it's even better.

We don't have to feed it.

The perfect two-man bike for the ultimate team.

Sleek little puppy with onboard water cannons.

It takes two of you to pedal.

That means you go twice as fast.

That means it's twice as dangerous.

We could get twice as hurt.

Only if you work together.

But if that's not going to happen...

We're off to the National Slushy Federation to tell them we've resolved our differences.

Whoo hoo!

Three, two, one.

Beast: Where's the National Slushy Federation?

Keep going.

Dad was right.

Family and business don't mix.

The Slushy Shack was done, but it was for the greater good... putting our family back to normal.

Well, Diaz normal.

Wait, is that the beret I bought for the cat?

He said it wasn't his style.

Okay.

You go grab him, and on my signal, sneak him right up front for the picture.

Why do I have to do all the work?

You left me stuck under the house.

That's fair.

Finally! She's here!

Okay, everyone line up.

Talls in back, shorts in front.

Harls, you could've cleaned up for the picture.

Gotta think of the family first sometime.

(all chattering)

That's weird.

In this light, that cat looks like a...

Skunk. That's a skunk.

Okay, skunks only spray if they're scared.

If we all remain very still, nothing will...

You told me you were a cat!

Bad skunk, bad skunk!

Harley: Well, at least Georgie looks good.

She really committed to that smile.

Next year, we're sending the Log Splash photo.

So Harls, I noticed you tore up your slushy machine for the boys.

Yeah, you were right.

Mixing family and business is a bad idea.

That's too bad.

I thought you handled yourself pretty well.

And you didn't cause me any problems.

Except for that big hole you put in your wall.

Actually, I'm thinking about getting a slushy machine, and that may be the perfect spot.

If I can only find someone to run it.

Hmm.

Me?

Reason to hire Harley number 102/

I like spending time with my daughter.

(doorbell rings)

Georgie, it's for you!