01x22 - The Cure

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grandfathered". Aired September 29, 2015 to May 10, 2016.
"Grandfathered" details the life of a recently divorced bachelor and restaurant owner who just discovered that he has a son. But that's not the only surprise: he also has a granddaughter, too, thanks to a one-night stand the son had with a woman.
Post Reply

01x22 - The Cure

Post by bunniefuu »

Sara: Jimmy...


So we need to talk, huh?

Yeah. About the kiss, right?

Yes, let's talk.

Jimmy, we need to talk.

Not now, Ravi, I'm busy.

Oh, sorry. You know what? I'll just make it quick.

You know how I keep having those really boring dreams?

Well, this one takes the cake...


Just imagine my apartment, but not my apartment, more boring...

Get out.


(clears throat)

So I...

So I...

Oh, you first.

No, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Ladies first.

Fine, I'll...

So, I would...

You talk.

Okay. When I...

It's just that...

Come on!

I'm gonna talk now!

That kiss... was a big mistake.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I'm so relieved to hear you say that.

I feel the exact same way.

Sara: Thank God.

We were just emotional.


We got caught up in the moment.

It's my fault.

I mean, my vulnerability is just too sexy.

I am in a great relationship with Craig.

I am in a great relationship with Catherine.

I don't want to put that in jeopardy.

I don't want to put it in Wheel of Fortune.

Sorry, I can't turn it off.

Okay, we need to take this to our grave.


It's between you, me, and the lady upstairs.

Gerald: He kissed her?! What?

They kissed? On the lips?

That's so crazy!

We can explain! It was a one-time thing!


What's to explain?

My little girl just had her first kiss with White Victor's son.

Oh. Oh...

Oh, so cute.

Jimmy: Isn't that cute?


We're just...


(indistinct chatter)

Okay. We almost blew it out there.

We need to be better than that.

Yeah, we need to think fast on our feet.

Now, I learned this trick in improv class...

I don't need improv tricks.

You'd be a stubborn scene partner, I'll tell you what.

Why are we still talking about improv?

Gerald has an announcement.

Let's get out there and just be cool.

I... I'm cool.




Oh, hey, guys, we're just getting started.


Yeah, baby!

(laughs) Yeah.


Family, friends, my dad's super-successful girlfriend, my mom's... tall boyfriend.

(clicks tongue) Thank you for coming.

I brought you here today because tomorrow is a very, very special day: I'm gonna propose to Vanessa.




I got a whole master proposal plan.

Already got the hashtag: #Vagerald.

(Gerald chuckles, Jimmy inhales sharply)

Or #Ganessa.


The best part, though, is you guys are all a part of it.


Oh, that's sweet.


Just say you don't want to do it.

Stand up for yourself for once.

What's that, Annelise?

Nothing! Happy to help!

Oh, great.

Hey, do you want Robin Thicke to serenade her?

One phone call.

I know his dad, Alan.


No, here's the plan. I am gonna steal Vanessa's phone and help her "find" it the way I did the night Edie was conceived.


In the process, we're gonna go to a bunch of places that have special meaning to us and it's all gonna end in a super romantic finale at the cell phone store where we both worked.


(pleased murmuring)


Honey, this'll be amazing.

I'm so happy for you.

Just let us know how we can help.

Well, uh, we actually need to decorate the store.

I thought maybe you two could do it together?


Yeah, baby!



Jimmy: Yep. Here we are.

Just two parents making a papier-mâché heart for their son.

As friends.

That's right.

Oh, Jimmy, love this lamp.

Hey, babe, we should get something like this for our place.

Sorry, your place. Jumped the g*n.

What... you guys are moving in together? Really?

Well... that's good.

Good for you.

Thank you. We're excited.

As you should be.

As we are.

Good for you.

Thank you. We're excited.

As you should be.

Craig: You okay?

Sara: Yep.

Never been better, honey bunny.

(both laugh).

Jimmy: Say, there's an idea.


Look at us.

Just two couples making out near each other.

Gotta love it.

How sweet it is.

Yes, well, that is very sweet, but I have to go deal with a work thing.

Oh, yeah, I gotta get to band practice, too, so...


All right, well, we'll just... we'll just stay here, then, and finish the, you know, the papier-mâché heart.

Smell you later.

Sayonara, bitches.

(Sara and Jimmy chuckle)

What the hell was that?

Keep it together, woman!

Could you have been more obvious?

Me? I was selling it!

I was Peter freaking Dinklage compared to you!

That's a weird person to choose as an example of a great actor.

The point is, we have to take that kiss and put it behind us.

That never happened.

And that thing that never happened is never gonna happen again.


(both moaning)

If we make a kid from this, you better let me know this time.


Oh god, you know the last time we did this was 1989?

Very Taylor Swift.

What are we doing?

You mean specifically?

Well, I thought I'd start off on top, and then we roll over.

I do this new slap and tickle thing that you're gonna love.

No, no, no, I'm serious.

This is insane.

I gotta go.

Hold on.

What if we got back together?


Nice try, buddy.

The pants stay on.

I'm serious.

I know I messed up the first time.

I stood you up at the Cure concert.

Among many things, yeah, I remember.

What if we gave it another sh*t?

You ever think of that?




Maybe a little.

I knew it! See, I'm a classic.

You always return to the classics.

No, actually, it's because I think you've changed.

Well, that's the thing about me. I'm always changing.

No, I mean it, Jimmy.

I've seen the way that you are with our granddaughter and our son, and the fact that you have not once hit on his smoking hot girlfriend.

Thank you! I'm finally getting credit for that.

But I can't go through that again, Jimmy.

You messed me up so bad the first time, I think it's kind of why I became a therapist.

And I'm not 21 anymore.

I can't recover from tequila shots like I used to, and I can't recover from heartbreak like I used to.

Well, I'm not 26 anymore.

I know I look it on the outside, but...

I wouldn't let you down this time, I promise.

Damn it, Jimmy.

Wait. So we're gonna do this?


We're... we're really gonna do this?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We have to break up with Craig and Catherine first.


I'll go talk to Catherine.

And I'll talk to Craig.

You know the Cure is in town tonight?

Oh, you're kidding me.


Well, they're in a town, Long Beach, which is not so far away.

Can I make it up to you?

It's a date.


(shrieks, giggles)

I'm watching you, Jimmy Martino.

(door opens, closes)

Okay, this doesn't have to be difficult.

When your dad calls your name, you're gonna walk up to him and hand him the ring box.

Let's try this again.

And... go.


No fair. You get this job and you're taking Vanessa's phone around town?

Why didn't I get any responsibilities?

Nobody believes in you.

Hey, Ravi, my parents couldn't finish this sculpture for some reason.

Can you finish it?

I will make you so proud, Dad.


All right, Annelise, here is Vanessa's phone and a list of places to take it.

Now, she hasn't realized it's gone yet, but when she does, it's...

Gerald, someone stole my phone.

Saddle up... we're going hunting.

Let's do it. Hey, uh, this is kind of like that amazing night three years ago when...

I don't have time to reminisce. We need to get that phone.

There's nudes on there... of you.


They're candids.

All right, well, uh, better get that phone then, huh?

Uh, let me pull up the phone tracking app, and we will see what's up.

(chuckles) Come on.

(knocking, sighs)

Quick and painless.

We're all adults here.




What is this?

It's heavy as hell is what it is.

Grab that end... we'll walk it in.

Uh, I-I thought you were moving in next week.

I know, I know, I was, but I got excited.

As soon as I finished this thing, I wanted to come and bring it to you.

You made this for me?


I just wanted some way to show you how grateful I am to have you in my life.

Let's just do this on three. Ready?

One, two...

Craig, we need to talk.




We should talk.

Can I go first?

I have to go to New York tonight for five days, and I know you are wondering how you're gonna survive without me, so I brought you a little care package.

That's sweet. Catherine, I've been thinking...

You made me cookies?


No, no, no, no, no, no. I had Wolfgang Puck do it, but I told him no nuts, because, as you say, then it's not dessert anymore.

It's not dessert anymore, right?

No. Right.

All right.

You got me money?

Well, it's cash. I was gonna buy you those Tom Ford shoes you like, but I know you love going into the store yourself.

I know one day he's gonna show up.


Yeah, he is. And, uh, there's one more thing.

You got me a phone?

No, uh, actually, there's an appointment in there for next week to tell you that I love you.

That gives me time to muster up the confidence and gives you time to prepare any questions or comments that you may have. So...




You are wonderful.

Well, I already knew that.



Oh, okay.

Let's have some of these cookies.


I'll be right there.

Excuse me.

Are you gonna order?

From this dump? No.

I'm only here because of an elaborate proposal I got roped into because I'm weak.


Gotta go.

Hey, isn't this the, uh, place we ate the very first time we hung out?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is.

(chuckles) I remember I was so nervous.

You know I wrote conversation topics on my palm?

Hey! Which one of you jabronies stole my phone?

Speak up or I'll deep-fry your face.

I will eat you.

Okay, thank you.

Let's just check the phone tracking app again.

Oh, it's not here anymore. We should go.

Thank you, Señor Plucky's.

Number four, ranchero style.

That's us.

Jimmy: I mean, I have to be honest.

I haven't always been a good guy. I've messed up. I've made mistakes.

But now I could get Sara back.

Is that a mistake?

Catherine is such a wonderful person.

And she challenges me, and according to her, she's gonna be in love with me next week.

Do I give all that up for Sara? What if it doesn't work out?

What happens if it doesn't work out with Sara?

And I mess the whole family up? Danger.

I mean, am I chasing something from the past that maybe doesn't exist anymore?

I don't know.

I wish Sara would've just had sex with me.

I'd be thinking a lot more clear right now.



Why am I even talking to you?

You don't even speak in complete sentences.


Look at you.

Don't you look cute?

Here, let's put this on.

Oh, your mommy and daddy are gonna melt.

You know what? Why don't I just take the mature approach?

Why don't I tell Sara I haven't broken up with Catherine yet?

I need more time.

Yes, Grandpa.

Did you just call me Grandpa?

Didn't I tell you never to call me Grandpa?


You can call me Grandpa.

Okay, Grandpa.

Come on, come on!



So, the breakup was brutal, but I did it.


How'd it go for you?

I did it, too.

Yeah, uh, it was...

Oh, God, it was the worst.


It was a bloodbath.

Huh! Where are they?

Excuse me, miss?

Would you mind taking our first family photo?

Why not? I guess I'm everybody's bitch today.

Finally. Gotta go.


Why did the thief go to the hospital?

Oh, he knows what I'm gonna do to him.

You know, maybe he got sick from Señor Plucky's.

I once saw a guy shaving in their kitchen.

But, uh, doesn't this place bring you back?

Feels like yesterday we were here meeting Edie for the first time.

Best day of our lives.

Is that a d*ad body?

No, I don't think so.

Frank, where do we put the d*ad body?

Anyway, um, I just... such a magical day.

I remember your smile...

Man, his face looked like the end of a burrito.

You know, when it starts falling apart?

(scoffs) I hate that.

Let's just go find my phone.

Uh, look, phone's on the move.

Let's do it.

Hey, look at this.

They found his legs.

His family's gonna be thrilled.



I gotta tell you, I don't know what was worse.

Breaking up with Craig or seeing a man wipe away his tears with a leather wristband.


So what did you say to Catherine?

Oh, I said so much.

You know, it was just like a flood came out.

I said to her, I says, I says, "Catherine, uh, this is where the story ends, and there will not be a sequel, and Sara is my new story."

I did a whole literary motif.

Very high-brow.

It was, it was not pretty, but...

I did it for you.

Wow. That is something the old Jimmy Martino could never have done.

I'm a changed man.

I can't believe I'm falling for Jimmy Martino again.

You're not gonna believe this, but I think your cell phone is at the cell phone store (sighs) we used to work at.

(groans) I don't care anymore.

Just take me home.

L-Let's just go to the store, all right?

I have a feeling it'll be our last stop.

Gerald, are you listening to me?

I want to go home.

Well, I want a lot of things, too, Vanessa.

Okay? We're not giving up on this day.

This day sucks!

What are you... (groans)

Oh, my stomach. Pull over.

Nice try.

Pull over!

(tires squeal)

Are you all right? (grunting)

Vanessa! Vanessa!


Oh, Vaness...

Why did I eat that Señor Plucky's?

You all right, bab...?


Oh, God.

(both retching)

Oh, I think that's a lung.

Everyone, Gerald just sent me a message.

Why he sent it to me, I have no idea.

I don't do family drama. Which is why I told...

Annelise, what's the message?

Right, Gerald regrets to inform you that he and Vanessa are puking up Señor Plucky's and won't be coming.


I hope they're okay.

Them? I spent five hours on a SuperShuttle to get here.

Kept taking me to the airport.

What's wrong with you?

All right, Sara, Annelise, let's pack this place up.

I'm gonna go check on the kids.

What? No, n-no, I want to see what Gerald had planned. Let's see the show.


("Wildest Moments" by Jessie Ware plays)

♪ You and I blurred lines ♪
♪ We come together every time ♪
♪ Two wrongs, no rights ♪
♪ We lose ourselves at night ♪
♪ From the outside ♪
♪ From the outside ♪
♪ Everyone must be wondering why we tried ♪
♪ Why do we try? ♪

(chuckles) This blows, huh?

Yeah, definitely not the day I'd hoped for.


♪ The greatest, we could be the greatest ♪
♪ Maybe in our wildest... ♪

Hey, you want to get married?



I don't know.

Sitting here on this crappy day, covered in puke.

All I can think about is, I'd rather be here with you than in, like, Vegas with Nicki Minaj, not covered in puke.


I want to have this feeling forever.

Minus the puking.

I don't know.

Marriage is probably the last thing on your mind right now.

♪ Everyone must be wondering why we tried ♪

Uh, the thought may have occurred to me.

♪ Why do we try?

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments... ♪

Are you s...?

Want to marry me?

(laughing): Shut up.

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments ♪
♪ We could be the worst of all ♪
♪ Baby, in our wildest moments ♪
♪ We could be the greatest, we could be the greatest ♪
♪ Baby, in our wildest moments... ♪


Pork chop.

I don't know what I was confused about.

She's the one, Edie.

She's always been the one.

Annelise, I'm going to the airport to break up with Catherine.

Ravi: Who's ready for the grand finale?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the beautiful...



Woman: Oh, wow.

Man: What?

I spent most of my time on the, uh...

Yeah, we know.


Thank you.

Jimmy: Excuse me.

♪ If you need a friend ♪

Excuse me. Sorry.

♪ I'll always be there... ♪

Sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me!

I can't let my girlfriend board that plane!

Yeah, tell her you love her!

No, that's not what...

Never mind.

Excuse me. Excuse me.



Whoa, make way, love coming through!


Wait, don't go.

Jimmy. What are you doing here?

Catherine, you're wonderful and you're extraordinary, and you're one-of-a k... oh, God, it all sounds so cliché.

We have to call it off.

Look, we had...

It's Sara, isn't it?

She's the woman I'm supposed to be with.

All right, well... (sighs) I guess this is good-bye.

I hope it ends badly.

I'm sorry.

I'll be fine.

I'll buy an island.


I get it, I get it, I get it. Boo, boo, boo, boo.

Sara: Here you go, guys, your ginger ale.




I'm sorry Craig couldn't be here to sing for you.

But if it's any consolation, it was gonna be one of his original songs.

That's a shame.

Well, I guess I could sing a ditty or two.

Oh, no.

You don't have to.

After what I did for you today, I guess I could sing a ditty or two.

Sounds great.

Oh, yeah, I'd love it.



You know the drill.

♪ I... ♪


Yeah, I got that out of my system.

Hey, Annelise, have you seen Jimmy?

I keep pretending there are celebrities here, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Jared Leto, hey!

See? Nothing.

Oh, I'm sure Jimmy's here somewhere.

This restaurant is enormous, so...

We have to coordinate our makeup for the Cure concert.

Oh, that's cute.

Jimmy go airport!

"Jimmy go to airport"?

That's your first full sentence?

Nice timing, kid.

Why would Jimmy go to the airport?

Ugh, that's the million-dollar question.

What are you guys talking about?

Okay, look, he went to break up with Catherine.

No, he said he did that already.

Oh, God, I can't believe him.

He's doing the right thing now, isn't he?

He's at the airport.

I'm sorry, I-I can't even with this drama.


Annelise, I told him I was afraid, and he promised he wouldn't let me down, and then the next thing he did was lie to my face?

So that's how we're starting this.

Look, I don't normally defend Jimmy, and, yes, he messed up... he's Jimmy... but...

I am such an idiot.

Why did I ever think he had changed?

He has changed.

He's changed because of you.

(speaks indistinctly)

(laughing): Yes.


♪ I don't care if Monday's blue ♪
♪ Tuesday's gray and Wednesday, too ♪
♪ Thursday, I don't care about you ♪
♪ It's Friday, I'm in love ♪
♪ Monday, you can fall apart♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart ♪
♪ Thursday doesn't even start ♪
♪ It's Friday, I'm in love...♪


Just called to say that your old man is really happy for you.

Thanks, Dad.

Thank you for everything.

What's that noise?

Where are you?

Oh, I'll tell you tomorrow.

Today's about you. Oh, and, uh... don't wait up too late for your mom.

What does that mean?

I'll tell you tomorrow.


♪ Heart att*ck ♪
♪ Thursday... ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪ It's Friday, I'm in love. ♪
Post Reply