01x09 - Identity Crisis

[bunniefuu]

[HORN HONKS]

Hey.

Have you read this?

No.

You haven't even taken a look...

We don't read the same things.

Well, you should read this.

Because you can't with your fake glasses on?

Capote... okay, Truman Capote wore these same glasses.

That's not true.

This is an excellent book.

I've been reading a lot of memoirs to inspire my own writing.

"Flat-out lies"... that is the most honest title of a memoir ever.

Jennifer Sampson is the Cindy Crawford of memoirists.

Why would you say that?

Because she's a gorgeous writer, and the proverbial, you know, mole makes her accessible, so...

Ooh.

Um, you might want to rethink metaphors as your thing.

What is this?

Don't touch that.

What, do you have a date tonight?

Hey, I got the fancy department gala tonight.

Oh, fancy man.

Yeah!

Hey, can I ask you a favor?

No.

Carter: Please.

No.

God!

Who pissed in your Cheerios?

You really need a reminder?

Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Lisa.

Lisa pissed in your Cheerios.

You shouldn't have gone over there, man.

That's great advice. Thanks.

You know what?

Jennifer Sampson writes about that very thing in this book.

You know, she was married for years.

And then after her divorce, she had trouble shedding that identity.

I am not having trouble shedding an identity.

I just... I don't even know who I am.

You're Coop.

Lisa is a completely different woman than the... the person I was engaged to.

She's built a whole new life for herself.

Who am I? I have no f*cking idea.

That's why you have to read this book.

I don't want to...

Jennifer Sampson's whole premise is that her parents told her all these things that she was.

And then, in each chapter, she either confirms or refutes all of those things.

The table of contents reads like this identity list.

I-I don't have a list.

We got... we got to get you a list.

I don't want to do a list.

Carter, please.

Okay, a list. A list!

This is such a stupid exercise.

List, list, list, list.

Carter!

Give me some paper.

I don't have any paper.

Don't need it. Never mind.

And there you have it.

Respect for the written word, ladies and gentlemen.

It was a blank page. I'm very environmental.

Uh-huh.

Okay, one...

Jackson Cooper.

All right.

Yeah.

We got number one down. All right?

'Cause that's... that's who you are.

Going very well.

You are indeed Jackson Cooper.

Number two, you are a neighbor.

You're a good... You're a great neighbor.

That is true, and I'm late, so I'm going to class, okay?

Um, wait. What are you, French?

What?

Your ethnic background.

I am Italian and Greek.

Oh, that explains the fridge full of yogurt.

Yes, yogurt. Oh, and you're healthy.

You're healthy. You know, you do the yogurt.

You have the juicing.

And you're doing the... taking care of the body in those great ways.

I'm a healthy Greek.

Thanks, Carter, for helping me find my true self.

You're sarcastic, which I'm not gonna write down because it's not one of your best qualities.

[SIGHS]

But, uh...

Hey, have you seen my...

Okay. What else?

Oh, and you're, uh... you're very well put together.

You actually... you really are...

Well, look at you.

God, you're such... handsome little chap.

Are we done here?

'Cause I really got to get to class, and I can't find my...

Class! Yes, you're a teacher!

You're a teacher.

Okay. Let's... let me just run this down, okay?

Carter.

Jackson Cooper... a great neighbor, Italian and Greek, healthy, well-put-together, teacher, and you're a good friend.

Okay. Are we done here?

Because I'm actually late now because of this.

I got to go.

Okay.

Let me just grab you for the favor really quick.

No!

Jennifer Sampson.

What about her?

She works at your school.

Mm-hmm.

Can I get an introduction?

No.

Please.

I don't even know her. We've never even met.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Here is a list.

Mm-hmm.

You might want to scratch "Good friend" off.

So...

Hey, um, where did you get this?

What do you mean?

My wallet, where did you get it?

My intern, Zoe.

She used to be a magician's assistant, so I've been working on... on sleight of hand.

Okay, let's not do that ever again.

Okay. Continue on the list, okay?

Bye.

Just let it inform you.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Is that what you said to Ron when you told him that I was pregnant?

What?

Oh, don't play innocent with me, Jackson.

You told Ron, our landlord, that I'm having a baby.

I told him I was excited about the new arrival in our building.

Oh, well, that's interesting.

Because of your excitement, I now have to soundproof my apartment.

Because the lease says you have to soundproof for children under 15.

So now I have to not just lay down an area rug...

No, no, no, that would be too easy...

I have to go into the walls and the drywalls, and then there's a thing with the barriers.

I don't even know.

What I do know is that you are not a good neighbor.

Mnh-mnh. You are a nosy, nosy, nosy neighbor.

And... and you're a gossip.

You know, with your "Good morning," your "Good afternoon," your "Good night."

I can't even look at you.

Diane.

♪ Hey ♪
♪ Oh, my love, let me be your fire ♪
♪ We're a thousand miles up and I'm about to get higher ♪
♪ Feel my heart b*ating out my chest ♪
♪ You're the only prayer I need to make me feel blessed ♪
♪ Singing oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ You make me feel blessed, you make me feel blessed ♪
♪ You're the only prayer I need to make me feel blessed ♪

Hazel.

Hey, yummy shake for the mover and shaker?

It's not a shake. It's my morning power smoothie.

Iron Man/Superman smoothie.

Yeah, your peanut butter/banana/strawberry shake.

Sorry. Smoothie... smoothie shake.

They're very different.

It's the same thing.

No, it's not.

A shake is something you would get at a diner, and this smoothie is very healthy.

"A," peanut butter is a really quality protein option.

"B," soy milk is a wonderful non-dairy choice, and there is bee pollen, which is supposed to do something, and spirulina.

Sorry. Can I be honest with you?

Okay.

The peanut butter is not the good kind of fat, and the soy milk is like a sh*t of estrogen.

Estrogen?

Yeah.

And the banana is gonna back you up.

So your smoothie is just, like, a sometimes treat.

Are you saying that the breakfast I've been having every day for the last three weeks is gonna k*ll me and make me more feminine?

Mm, I'm just saying that you might want to consider going back to your grape juice.

Okay. This will be my last day of the smoothie.

Okay.

So load it up with peanut butter.

Thank you.

Can I borrow your pen for one sec?

Thank you.

Healthy.

♪ Looks so simple to the eye ♪

Good morning to you, too.

What? Oh, yeah. Hey. Good morning.

What, you didn't sleep?

Not really, no.

Yeah, you look tired.

Your shirt is untucked.

Well, you do not look put-together, doc.

Okay, Soph.

Okay, doc.

Goodbye, Sophie.

Thank you for all you do for me, this world.

[SLURPS]

[DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

That was so fast.

I thought it would take you longer.

Here, will you type this into the computer for me?

Sure.

"I can't reach the sink. My hands are..."

Sorry. What is that?

"Dirty."

Dirty?

"My hands are dirty," yes.

I've been writing with my non-dominant hand to channel my inner 4-year-old.

Amazing.

Ooh, dobisoast.

Doughnut meets biscuit meets toast.

How did you... How long did you wait in line?

People have been waiting for hours.

I don't do lines.

Did you get the meeting with Jennifer Sampson?

I-I'm working on it.

What did Coop say?

[DOOR OPENS]

Diane: Jackson, do you know what the quote is to soundproof my apartment?

You know what I know?

I know that I cannot afford to soundproof my apartment and pay for the birth of this child, okay?

But somehow I have to do both.

Oh.

Is the baby loud?

Huh?

Well, you're very loud. Maybe it's inherited.

Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh. Shut up, Carter.

You know what? I won't do it.

I will not soundproof my apartment.

They are just gonna have to evict me.

I will live on the streets with my newborn and Shadrach.

Shadrach can stay with me.

Carter.

And the baby. I'm great with babies.

Oh, sh**t. Oh.

Oh.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

I used to teach geriatric Pilates-meets-Reiki in a small village in the Philippines.

I think if you just...

Oh.

...adjust your center lower, you'll feel a lot more mobile.

Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

All right.

If you see Jackson, punch him in the face for me, okay?

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Henry.

Yes?

Hi, Henry.

It's 8:30.

Yes.

Where is everyone?

At the Cineplex.

At the Cineplex.

In Union Square.

Okay.

The new Wes Anderson shorts collection opens today, and they wanted to be the first to see it.

So let me get this straight.

Your classmates are cutting class and going to the Union Square Cineplex to see the new Wes Anderson movie.

Yeah.

And you why are you here?

I'm taking notes.

Uh-huh. For the entire class?

Uh, yes, sir.

Henry, this is a seminar.

Yes, professor.

It's not a lecture.

Oh, no. I-I-I can still talk and discuss.

I'm... I'm prepared.

Henry, you should go home or go to the movies or go have yourself a great day, okay?

Sorry, professor.

Don't call me professor. You know why?

'Cause I'm not a professor. In order to be a professor, I would have to have students to teach.

And I don't have any today, so I can't be a professor.

Go ahead and say that with me... "You're not my professor."

You're not my professor?

Yeah. Say it one more time. "You're not my professor."

You're not my professor?

Let's say it at the same time, Henry.

Ready? One, two, three.

You're not my professor.

You're not my professor.

Go to the movies. Have a great time.

Okay. Um, pro... profess...

Oh, my God, Henry, don't call me professor, okay?

Call me Jackson, Coop, guy, pal, buddy, whatever, Cooper, anything other than professor.

Uh...

Do you really want me to go?

Mis... Coop... guy.

Yes, I do. I want you to go.

I want you to go to the movies, and I want you to culture yourself with all of Wes Anderson's wonderful color and light.

And I want you to just have a great time.

Okay.

Teacher.

♪

Sophie?

Sophie: Mm?

I am not optimistic about the future of America.

Join the club.

These students are completely uninspired.

Or maybe it's me. Maybe it's my fault.

Maybe I'm uninspired.

Hmm.

Now is when you say, "No, you're very inspiring.

It's all the kids' fault."

Maybe you're just a bad teacher, doc.

Thanks.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[CRYING]

Sophie?

What?

Are you crying?

[SNIFFLES] Maybe.

What, is it against the law to cry at your desk at work?

Did I do something to make you...

Ugh, everything is not always all about you.

Right. You're right.

Okay. I'm just gonna let you...

[SOBS]

Soph?

Yeah.

Do you want to talk about it?

All right?

Yes.

Mm.

[SOBS]

All right, now, the first thing you have to do is breathe.

Okay, if you tell me to relax, I will choke your throat.

No, I would never tell you to relax.

It's one of my biggest pet peeves, telling a person who's tense to relax, okay?

Good. Thank you.

Okay, but you are gonna have to breathe.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Whoa. Oh, you have been drinking.

Yes.

So, why don't you tell me what happened?

Jeremy proposed to me.

Well, congratulations.

Why did he have to propose?

Well, let's just say he probably wants you to be his wife.

I know. Why?

Well, he loves you.

I know. Why?

Sophie...

So, I get home, and there are rose petals leading from the hallway into the apartment.

That's very romantic.

No, it's messy. I hate clutter.

You'd think after three years, he would know I hate clutter.

I'm a Virgo, doc.

Yeah, I'm not sure he thinks of the rose petals as clutter.

So in I go, and there are candles lit everywhere, every surface... Fire hazard!

And then there's Jeremy just sitting at the kitchen table with this stupid grin on his face like an idiot, like a simpleton half-wit.

Okay. Sophie...

Then he gets down on one knee, and then he says, "Sophie, will you marry me?"

And how did you respond?

I didn't. I ran, and I went to a hotel.

All right. Well, that's...

You know, you needed a little space to think.

I was really tired, and I wanted to go to sleep.

So I thought, "Have a drink."

Another perfectly normal response.

So minibar.

But then it's 8:00 A.M. and it's time to come to work.

Yes, you have a very important workday today because the gala is this evening.

I know.

Okay, Sophie.

We're not gonna do this right now, okay?

Let me see that. You're gonna... done with this.

I cannot run a gala.

You can. We're just gonna...

I am too drunk for a gala.

You know what?

We're just gonna sober you right up with some coffee and some water.

And you're gonna be ready.

No, I can't.

Okay, listen to me. Here's what's happening.

Fear is pushing you into some self-destructive behavior.

Just got to figure out what's going on beneath that, okay?

[LAUGHING]

So we're gonna...

I'm sorry.

Okay, what's funny?

[LAUGHING] I always laugh when things resonate.

All right. Well, we're gonna get you...

All right, we're gonna... We're gonna sober you up with some coffee and some water, and we're gonna sort out this Jeremy business, okay?

Hey.

Yeah?

You are a really good therapist.

Thanks.

It's too bad you f*cked that up.

[SIGHS] Yeah.

Crossed that off my list a long time ago.

Let's get you some coffee.

Okay.

It's a bad idea.

[CAR ALARM WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Okay, once, twice, maybe three times... I don't know...

I pretended to be Holly.

You pretended to be your sister? Why?

Hot 100 radio was having this contest for tickets for Olympians On Ice, and I was skating pretty seriously at the time.

But you had to be 21 to win.

So when I called in, I lied and said I was her.

Used her I.D. to pick up the tickets, and nobody questioned it.

She find out?

I don't know.

Point is, when I saw Michelle Kwan...

Wait. You met the Kwan?

Let's just say it was important.

It was an important moment for me.

Kwan can skate.

Okay. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna meet Jennifer Sampson.

Whoo! She's gonna love you!

Okay.

How much time do I have?

You're meeting her at 2:00.

Okay.

Boy, I haven't been this excited since I got to go behind the scenes at the Bronx Zoo with an entomologist.

Whoa.

All right, now, when you pretended to be Holly, what did you do?

I copied her mannerisms, her voice.

Okay. Okay. [AS JACKSON] Uh, hey.

Hey, man.

Hey, man. Hello. Hey.

Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey, little buddy.

I'm Cooper. I'm a professor.

I'm a... I'm prof... I'm the doctor.

Professor Jackson Cooper. Yes.

The hair is back. The lips don't move.

Yes. I want you. I don't want you.

[NORMAL VOICE] You know, it's like... that's... that's him.

I... yeah... that... I have it.

Jackson: Have a seat here.

Doc.

Drink this coffee.

I should get married, right?

No, take... yes.

What?

I just... I need your professional opinion.

Sophie.

Sophie, Sophie, Sophie.

I think that you...

I think you need to examine your fear and decide whether or not it's coming from you or your relationship.

Uh, such a load of crap.

Look, this guy proposes to you, you run out, you book a hotel room, you come to work drunk.

You think that's a sign?

Well, I don't think it's subtle.

So I shouldn't marry Jeremy. [SIGHS]

Soph, I think you need to sober up before you make this decision.

Here, drink this.

You know what I think?

I think that these bottles are like truth...

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. Oh.

Ugh, Soph.

Okay. You know what?

Let's keep it moving. Come with me.

All right.

All right.

You are a terrible friend.

Hey, you know what you are?

No, no, no, no.

You've had a little bit too much to...

You would sit there and you would tell me not to marry a man that I love.

Excuse me. I didn't say that.

I am drunk.

I know you are.

I am scared.

I understand you're scared.

So you're gonna tell your drunk, scared friend to walk away from a three-year relationship because she's drunk and scared?

Sophie, what do you need from me right now?

I thought we were friends.

We are friends.

So be my friend.

I'm gonna be your friend.

And... and you just tell me what you need, and I'm gonna get it for you right now, okay?

What's going on? You're gonna... all right.

You've got to sit down. You want to sit down?

You want some water? You've got to pee?

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Um, um, Soph.

Hey, Soph?

Your phone's ringing.

Sophie, your phone's ringing. It says Josie.

Want me to answer it?

Oh, God. It's the gala.

Hello. Sophie's phone.

I'm fired. It's the gala.

Uh, yes.

Uh, hang on one second.

Hey, Soph, she said that you're a half an hour late.

You were supposed to be at the event space a half-hour ago.

[VOMITING]

You know what? She's not able to come to the phone right now.

Is there maybe something I can do for you?

Yes, what's that?

Okay. Right.

The revised programs and the revised seating charts.

Got it. Yeah. Who am I?

I'm just... I'm just her friend.

Yeah. Hang on, Soph.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

All right, I've got the seating charts, and I got the, uh, menus.

Yes. And I have got the programs.

Okay. I'll, uh...

Give me about an hour. I'm gonna run home and change.

And then I'll... I'll come find you.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Sophie, you okay?

Whoa.

Yeah.

Okay, listen, I'm gonna be a good friend to you, and I'm gonna handle this.

So you don't worry, all right? I've got this covered.

Here's your purse. Your phone is in there.

You call me if you need me, okay?

Jackson Cooper.

You are not what I expected.

I had the flu.

You had the flu?

I'm not 100%, which is maybe why I'm not what you expected.

I don't think that's it.

May... maybe it is.

What can I do for you, Dr. Cooper?

Can I call you doctor still?

Call me Coop.

All of my friends, they call me Coop.

I meant because you lost your license to practice.

Ah.

Ah.

[LAUGHS]

Mm.

[CLICKS TONGUE, NEIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE, CHUCKLES]

I have your book.

I wanted to ask you a few questions about process.

I'm considering writing my own memoir.

Oh, let me stop you right there.

I know it's unusual, us both being professors and accomplished authors.

I meant let me stop you from writing your memoir.

You don't want me to write my memoir?

I don't want you to write your memoir.

I don't want you to equate us as authors.

Did Coop do something to offend you?

What did you like so much about my book, Coop?

I thought it was honest.

Honest?

Hmm.

I'm surprised someone like you would be drawn to a book about honesty.

I'm honest.

Oh, please.

When men like you expose people's vulnerabilities and parade them as academic?

You're lying.

You're just exposing someone else's pain for pure, unadulterated voyeurism.

Why are you so mean?

Do you know what it does to the reputation of this university every time it hires someone like you?

Well, I wrote a best seller.

So did I.

I went on "Oprah."

I don't watch "Oprah."

Well, at least I didn't write a book about my father's unhealthy love of horses and then put a big statue of one right on my desk.

I'm being ironic.

Ooh. Okay, Alanis Morissette.

You're an imbecile.

Oh, yeah? Maybe I am, but Jackson Cooper is not.

And apparently you're insane.

I am not gonna take back that I like this book.

But when you painted yourself as an interesting and sympathetic woman, that part was a lie.

Did you just shove my horse?

Get out of my office. Get out!

[HORNS HONKING]

Hi.

[GREEK ACCENT] You have I.D.?

I'm just here for the gala.

You need university I.D. to enter.

Uh, my I.D.'s in my jacket back at work.

But I'm here in my monkey suit, so clearly I'm here for the gala, obviously.

Who are you here to see?

Uh, yeah, the event planner. The event planner.

I'm here to see the event planner.

I can't let you in without a name or an I.D.

Okay. You know what?

Actually, let's start over again.

My name's Dr. Jackson Cooper.

I'm on the faculty here, and I, um...

I just really need to see, um, the event planner.

I need a name.

Dr. Jackson Cooper.

That's your name.

Yes, it is.

I need a name for someone to call.

Hey.

See this?

Yes.

He has it.

Oh.

Okay. Is there a list of some sort?

I'm doing a favor for a woman named Sophie Froe.

There is no list.

Okay, is there anyone involved in the gala that I could speak to?

I wouldn't know.

You wouldn't know? Okay.

Why wouldn't you know that?

Are you getting edgy?

No, no, no.

No, no, it's just I've got all this sh*t and I've got to deliver it, like, right now to this woman whose name escapes me who is involved with the gala.

I can't let you in without an I.D., and I can't call someone if there is no one for me to call.

You know, it's a fair point.

I understand your point, officer Vasilakis.

Vasilakis!

Vasilakis.

That... that sounds Greek.

I am Greek.

Hey, I'm a little Greek.

You are Greek?

Yes, I'm Greek.

On my mother's side, my great-grandmother.

Oh.

Yeah, she's from Crete.

She is from Crete?

Yep.

When did she come over?

Uh, late 1800s.

Crete was not Greek until 1913.

Wait, wait, wait.

Yeah.

Nope. [GRUNTS]

Easy, fella.

Listen, please. Just do me the favor, all right?

Security is not favor.

I don't even know what that means.

Excuse me.

No, I'm not gonna let Jennifer Sampson stop me from taking this juice box, finding my inner child, and letting him have a s*ab at writing my memoir.

Well, now that is the spirit.

Is Jackson back? Do you ever leave?

I was out, Diane. All right?

Writers need to be in the world.

All right. I just wanted to thank him.

Did Ron call you?

How did you know?

I just guessed.

Well, you guessed right 'cause he called, and he is not pushing the soundproofing thing.

The baby can scream all it wants!

Hey.

I'm glad it worked out.

Me too.

This is so awesome.

Bye.

[DOOR CLOSES]

How did you know that Ron called?

Did you make that happen?

I make a lot of things happen.

Officer Valisakis.

Josie.

It's time for you to move on.

No, I remembered her name, so you can...

You have somebody to call now to let me in.

Please!

[SIGHS]

Please, please.

Josie.

Josie what?

Josie... what?

Does she have a last name?

Yes, of course. Doesn't everyone?

Okay, listen, guy.

No, no. It's not guy. It's Jackson Cooper.

Please. We talked about this a thousand times.

My name is Dr. Jackson Cooper. I am a PhD.

I am a doctor in the faculty of the psychology department.

I left my wallet in my jacket at work.

Therefore, I do not have my I.D. on me.

You understand? I don't have any way of...

All I'm saying is I'm in this tux, and I'm standing in front of you with, like, pounds and pounds of department gala memorabilia.

I got to get this stuff in here.

You're telling me there's absolutely nothing you can do?

I can ask you nicely one more time to figure out some way to confirm your identity, because I don't know who you are.

I'm Jack...

Oh, God!

Don't tell me your name again!

It's Jackson Cooper.

So annoying.

There are four event spaces in this building.

I'm not gonna call around and just see if somebody knows something.

Got it. Well, this is the last...

Whoa, Henry! Henry. This is my student.

Say hi.

Hi.

Officer, this is Henry. This is one of my students.

Henry, tell this guy who I am.

What?

This guy, this security guard, this lovely man, officer Valalasikas.

He will not let me in the building.

That's not close.

And I need you to tell him who I am.

Vasilakis.

This is not my professor.

Nope, buddy, forget what I said earlier, and I just want you to tell the truth now.

Look at me. Tell the truth, who I am. Go.

Henry, who is this man?

He is not my professor.

I'm late for my catering gig.

Okay.

Sorry.

I would say we're officially done here, eh?

I think we're done here.

Yeah.

Really sorry to bother you.

[SLOW-MOTION] Hey, you!

[GRUNTS] Are you kidding me with this?

Who do you think you are?

I'm just trying to be a good friend.

Good friend?

Wait, Jackson?

Natalie?

You know him?

He... he's fine, really. He's with me.

Yeah, I'm with her, officer. I'm with her.

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Guy's really good at his job.

Hi.

Hi.

I've been looking for you.

Here I am.

Yeah.

Here you are.

[BETH THORNLEY'S "STILL CAN'T HIDE" PLAYS]

♪ We carved a path ♪
♪ To the ocean ♪
♪ We built a house ♪
♪ Of brick and stone ♪
♪ So that they ♪
♪ Couldn't see us ♪
♪ So that they wouldn't know ♪
♪ And we were sure we could be all alone ♪
♪ But all the spaces and the corners ♪
♪ All the sons and all the daughters ♪
♪ All the crimes and hallelujahs ♪
♪ All the turnkeys and the hinges ♪
♪ All the carnies and the kinless ♪
♪ All the rockets and the tailspins ♪
♪ And we still can't hide ♪
♪ Small-time saviors ♪
♪ Have all tried ♪
♪ To convince us ♪
♪ We can hide ♪
♪ But take the tongue ♪
♪ From a bell ♪
♪ All that's left's ♪
♪ A sad farewell ♪
♪ 'Cause you know what's not said will tell the tale ♪
♪ And all spaces and the corners ♪
♪ All the sons and all the daughters ♪
♪ All the crimes and hallelujahs ♪
♪ All the turnkeys and the hinges ♪
♪ All the carnies and the kinless ♪
♪ All the rockets and the tailspins ♪
♪ And we still can't hide ♪
♪ Say what you please ♪
♪ There's a target on your sleeve ♪
♪ But as you've seen ♪
♪ You got lots of company ♪
♪ Don't you know ♪