01x03 - The Money sh*t

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Private Eyes". Aired: May 2016 to present.*
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"Private Eyes" follows an ex-pro hockey player, who irrevocably changes his life when he decides to team up with a fierce P.I. to form an unlikely investigative powerhouse, investigating high-stakes crimes in the worlds of horse racing, fine dining, Toronto's vibrant hip-hop scene, scandalous literature, magic clubs, and more. Based on the novel "The Code".
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01x03 - The Money sh*t

Post by bunniefuu »

There he is. Waiting for his lady friend.

This guy can afford five stars; why the cheap motel?

It's part of the fantasy. Some people get off on slumming.

You're speaking from personal experience?

I always thought being a professional voyeur would be far more exciting.

If you're so bored, you could study for your P.I. exam.

You know, I've always been more of a school-of-life kind of guy.

No exam, no P.I. license, no job. Here she is.

(clicking)

Let the games begin.

(clicking)

You know, what they don't teach you in P.I. school is how to get "The Money sh*t."

The clients always want proof. You need a kiss, an embrace and... lift off.

(clicking)

That was the real money sh*t.

The way two people look at each other tells you everything.

Unfortunately, it's not real evidence of adultery.

Looks like the real thing.

Three months, they'll be back on OKCupid.

Is there no romance in your soul?

Not lurking outside a no-tell motel there isn't.

Stay here.

Hey! Hey, hey!

What can I learn sitting in a car?

Try the book.

You need to study.

(car door closing)



(cell phone buzzing)

Everett Investigations.

Could you repeat that, please?

Come on! Move to where I can see you.

(clicking)

OK. Here we go.

(fast clicking)

Hey, Shade!

What are you doing?

That is how you get the money sh*t when the clock is winding down.

Hmm! Not bad. Still not cool.

Big case came in. It's time sensitive.

Every case is time sensitive.

But not every case is a diamond heist.

Hey! Get back here!

I love diamonds! Let's go!

Yeah!

Give me the camera! Hey!

Stop!

(tires screeching)

Mr, Mrs. Cutler. Angie Everett.

This is my, uh, associate, Matt Shade.

Please tell us about the theft.

It's devastating, horrible! I...

We got a call an hour ago that she was missing.

I'm sorry, "she"?

On the phone, you said this was about a diamond heist.

No, no. Not "a." The.

Diamond Heist is our racehorse, and she's disappeared.

♪ I see you and you see me ♪
♪ Watch you blowing the lines ♪
♪ When you're making a scene ♪
♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪
♪ What my head overlooks ♪
♪ The senses will show to my heart ♪
♪ When it's watching for lies ♪
♪ 'Cause you can't escape my ♪
♪ Private eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you ♪
♪ Private eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you, watching you ♪
♪ Watching you, watching you ♪


Our jockey, Carly, notified us that she was missing.

Mr. Cutler: She's our three-year-old filly.

She's a beautiful horse.

Mm-hmm.

Worth over a million dollars. She's the favourite to win Summerhill Derby this weekend.

Was there a ransom note?

Nothing. She just vanished.

Have you called the cops?

No, no, no, no.

We don't want to risk spooking whoever took her.

Look, your agency came highly recommended by our lawyer, and if you're effective, we're hoping she'll be racing in the derby.

Failing that, we just... we just want to find her.

Will you help us?

Just one second.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Are you kidding me? Million-dollar racehorses versus by-the-hour love shacks? What's the debate?

I don't like horses.

But you like sitting in your car for hours playing peekaboo with Cheaty McCheatersons?

My agency, my call.

This is a retainer to get things going.

If you find Diamond Heist in time to run the derby, I'll triple that.

We're on it.

girl: Morning.

Hey, Jules.

You may want to take another run at those buttons.

I'm off my game, I could not sleep last night.

What's keeping you up?

Human cloning.

Yeah, I hear you.

For the debate team, I'm taking the pro position, but I'm not even sure if I am for cloning.

You know what beats fear?

Hard liquor?

That and preparation.

You know, you have a very specific inflection to your voice when you're about to launch into a hockey lecture.

Back in my IPHL days, before a game, I would study every play, I'd watch every second of game tape.

I knew what my opponent was gonna do before he did, so when I hit the ice, I was in the zone.

Preparation works every time.

Yeah, how's the preparation for your P.I. exam going?

Got my textbook right here.

Yeah, it feels like it hasn't even been opened yet.

Angie's giving me a lot of on-the-job training.

(horn honking)

Hmm! Speak of the P.I. devil.

Gotta run, honey. Love you.

Preparation, Dad.

Yeah, preparation.

Yeah, I heard that.

How could you have possibly heard that?

Look around you,

Everett. Sunshine, adrenaline...

Everett: Horse manure.

Admit it.


A stolen horse is even better than stolen diamonds.

Let's just get this over with.

What is wrong with you?

Horse racing is the sport of kings.

Start at the backstretch. That's where the horses are stabled and the downstairs folk hang out.

"The downstairs folk"?

Racing has a real class divide.

There's the millionaire horse hobbyists, like the Cutlers.

Then, there's the staff on the ground that makes this gangster system run.

(indistinct PA message)

Did you know that 90% of abductions are committed by people known to the victims?

You realize we're looking for a horse, right?

Horses come with an entourage: jockey, trainer, groom, exerciser, stable hand.

That's a family. My money's on one of them.

What?

Page 14 of the P.I. textbook is the "Intelligence Checklist."

Show me what you've learned.

Right!

Intelligence Checklist, yes!

Well...

There's no horse. Haha!

Great attention to detail.

What else?

Uh, security cameras? Security cameras, what... ?

There are none.

Keep going.

Umm, I got a better idea.

Why don't you tell me what you would look for?

Are you taking this seriously?

Yes, coach!

First, I'd look for signs of forced entry...

Forced entry. Yes, that's what I was gonna say.

But it appears the thief or thieves just walked right out of here.

These horses are worth millions, and half the people at the track are crooks.

No cameras, no security? Just doesn't make any sense.

Right.

Let's go talk to the jockey.

Carly King.

Good idea.

It's exactly what I was gonna say.

(indistinct chatter)

You and Diamond have been on quite the winning streak lately.

Four major races in a row, impressive.

She's an impressive horse.

The Cutlers said you called them last night around 10 p.m.

Yeah. As soon as I realized that she was missing.

Are you usually at the track that late?

I was having a couple of drinks in the bar.

Before a race?

Yeah. I guess I was nervous.

Nervous about what?

About Diamond.

Look, usually, she loves to run.

I mean, this horse lives for it.

But lately, she's needed more encouragement.

After you took her out, did you turn her over to the groom?

No. To Keith, our trainer.

He's the one that likes to cool her down.

So, Keith, after the cool down,

Diamond was alone in her stall?

Irish accent: I came back to feed her around 5, but after that, aye.

I noticed security cameras around the track, but none in the stalls.

In the stalls?

That's up to the owners. Some have 'em installed, some don't.

So, you weren't on the track last night?

No, sir. Horses are like fighters.

You gotta give them time to get right.

You've been in this game a long time.

Left school for it.

Sounds like a calling.

That's not Church; it's horses.

You worship them just the same.

Horses tend to be more noble than people.

You could be right there.

So you do like horses.

Let's split up. I'll go to the security office pull some footage; you go railside, talk to the locals, get the gossip. Act dumb, look pretty.

Use what's left of your celebrity.

"What's left"?!

(indistinct conversations)



Boys.

Beautiful day, beautiful sport.

(horse whinnying)

Matt Shade!

Guilty as charged.

And you are?

Such a big fan of yours.

Those years you played in Chicago...

Magic.

Nora.

Hi, Nora.

So who do you think looks good out there?

The black one.

"Made Runner."

Good blood, bad legs. Her mommy and daddy were champs, but she sure has not lived up to her bloodline.

You know a lot about horses?

Honey, I know everything about horses.

Hey, you see that one? Chestnut?

"Make it Reins."

Nice, even temperament, exceptional physicality. Knows how to perform.

Hmm...

(indistinct chatter)

(man laughing)

What's up with you and that guy? Bad date?

I don't give bad dates.

Of course. I meant him.

I know you did.

Ha!

Angie! This is Nora.

She knows everything about horses, so I was thinking maybe we could team... up.

(Nora sighs.)

You know, I'm no expert in the subtleties of female communication, but it seems you two know each other.

Angie.

Mom.

Nora: Angie, wait! Stop!

Angie... You are unbelievable.

I like the way you're doing your hair now.

Playing Shade to get to me? You knew we were working together.

What is wrong with a mother taking an interest in her daughter? I Google because I care, sweetie.

Wait, so you're not a Chicago fan?

I'm gonna tell you this once, Shade: nothing good can come from my mother.

She's always been a touch on the dramatic side.

Oh, come on, Ang! She knows this world inside out.

You don't think she could be useful?

OK. Mom, could you help us out here?

I would love to.

You see?

Isn't this nice? For a small fee.

And there it is.

I can't believe you fell for that act.

Same old song and dance.

It's a bad time to tell you you've got your mother's eyes?

I don't have her anything!

I haven't seen that woman since my dad's funeral.

Pretty sure she was after money then, too.

This is why you didn't want to take the case.

My mom, let's say, calculating.

Also, ooh, devious and untrustworthy.

Hm, don't hold back.

Can you tie a Windsor?

In my sleep.

Plaid?!

Just put it on.

Look, for future reference, I'm more of a solids guy.

What are we doing?

We're roleplaying.

You're Matt Shade.

You're an ex-pro hockey player, and I am your arm candy.

We're gonna talk to Ivan Zickel.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

He's the owner of Gold Coast.

It's a champion stallion shipped in for the derby.

Gold Coast and Diamond Heist are neck and neck in pedigree and standing.

So if this is about rivalry...

No one's more motivated than Ivan.

So what's our play?

You are gonna be interested in buying Gold Coast.

And you're happy being my "arm candy"?

You know, as long as the spotlight is on you, then it's off me.

Wow! Not in that dress.

Ivan's from your world. He's all money and scotch and $90 haircuts. Bet you anything he's one of those typical, alpha-male douchebags.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

So Gold Coast and Diamond Heist have quite the rivalry.

Gold Coast C&Ds are 38% higher than Diamond Heist's.

And with her L.O.T.'s down 24% and the fact that Diamond Heist is always 17% slower on soft track, Gold Coast has a 97% chance of winning.

I'm not even gonna pretend I understand what you just said.

It's all here in my app.

It's called Saddleplay, an algorithm that uses advanced stats to predict racing results.

This baby's gonna revolutionize the industry.

And you designed this?

I also designed Ping Squad, an app that taps into cell-tower frequency to maximize bandwidth, giving sat-level strength. Sold it to the m*llitary last year but... (cell phone ringing) would be rude to say for how much. 12 million.

(indistinct conversations)

So... you're not interested in selling Gold Coast?

Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Shade. He's in his prime.

We're similar in that regard.

Xi Jinping, sir.

Thank you for your interest, Mr. Shade.

Pleasure meeting you. I've always been a big Georgia fan.

I played for Chicago.

Well, I got the douchebag part right.

Yeah, it's why jocks hate geeks.

Game seven Montreal-Santa Fe, high-profile play-offs, big money. The ref got caught fixing the game for a bookie who was offside with his bets who couldn't lay off the risk.

Translate please.

Cowboy Hat back there is a bookie. Sometimes, bookies get in over their heads and take drastic measures to manipulate the odds.

Like steal a horse. How do you know he's a bookie?

Saw your mom trying to hide from him. She owes him money.

You should check your wallet; she probably owes you money too.

woman: OK, look, I can get you the money tomorrow.

man: That's what you said yesterday! I'm tired of waiting!

woman: Wait, wait! Stop! Get your hands off!

man: Give me my money!

Please, I'm gonna pay you!

Hey!

Oh!

Ah!

We'll take this up later.

Don't think so, Rodeo Clown.

How long have you been betting on the races?

I did it once; it was the biggest mistake of my life.

And now you owe him money?

I can see the headline now:

"Jockey steals racehorse to pay off debts."

I would never do that, OK?

Diamond is my only way out of this mess.

The purse for this race is huge.

If I win, I can clear my debts.

Then help us find her.

I told you everything I know.

Have you noticed anyone suspicious hanging around?

Everyone is suspicious around here.

Come on, Carly, think.

OK, there was this guy.

He looked like a biker. I mean, bikers hang around the track all the time, but this one, he was taking photos of the horses in the barn.

What did he look like?

Like someone you wouldn't want to mess with.

He had this really creepy g*ng patch...

A horse skeleton.

(Ding! Ding!)

No creepy horse skeleton yet.

Find anything in the security footage?

I logged all the trailers going in and out the night that Diamond went missing.

They all match up with horses competing in the derby.

Check this out.

It's Ivan Zickel's. Custom designed by Rolls Royce.

Some people have too much money.

Copy that.

Wait!

The insignia of a biker g*ng called The Beasts of Burden.

What would a biker g*ng want with a horse?

Kind of goes against being a biker, doesn't it?

I'll keep digging. And you...

Me what?

Don't forget to give that back to me.

Ooh, I think I'm kind of digging the plaid.

Hmmm, I think you were right. It's not your style.

Good night, Shade.

Is this the part where you tell me to go home and study for the P.I. exam?

It's up to you.

I'm going to nail it.

Totally holding my breath. Don't forget to lock up on your way out.

Hmm!



(Shade sighs.)



Test must be coming up soon.

Starting to procrastinate for real now.

Come on, Dad, I suck at writing these things.

You always got by in school.

That's because I was a hockey player and there was an understanding.

We passed, even when we didn't pass.

Which we didn't. Ever.

So study.

It's what everybody else does.

Come on, Dad, that book is 250 pages of facts and rules, and the only pictures are of fat guy on stakeouts.

So it's boat building all over again, huh?

What?

You fall in love with some new hobby and convince yourself that there's a career in it.

And when the novelty wore of, you moved on to something else.

Restaurants, wine making, landscape photography...

This isn't that!

Oh yeah? What's different?

The cases I've worked with Angie, we actually help people.

I didn't know I wanted to do that until I did.

Ah.

Well, personally, I did find the wine making helpful.

You know the other thing, Dad?

I'm starting to feel like an old dog.

Don't know if I've got any new tricks.

You can pass this exam, Matt.

And I'll help.

You're gonna take it for me?

No, but I will take this from you.

I'm actually hungry.

Study.
Shade: Are you sure about this? Doesn't seem like the ideal place for a biker hangout.

Angie: Trust me, my information's good on this one.

(car doors closing) Beasts of Burden apparently like their privacy.

Maybe because they're hiding a million-dollar horse.

How did you find them?

I have my ways.

You flirted with a cop, didn't you?

I have more ways than that. But yes.

This seems like a bad idea.

Only if they're home.

Don't you usually check that sort of thing?

They failed to send me an itinerary.

(engines roaring)

Which seems like an oversight now.

This is all a misunderstanding. Just give us back our phones and our wallets and...

Shut up!

I got a theory about private investigators.

Dirty cops on a second career.

Dirty hockey player on a second career; she's the P.I.

No pass code?

Like he said, I'm the P.I.

"Brandi, Tammi, Kristi."

Do you know any women whose names don't end in a vowel?

Whatever you're about to say, don't.

What are you doing with Jim and Bridget Cutler?

None of your business.

Well, I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that they're your clients.

You could say I've worked with them too.

We're an animal rescue society.

We protect the welfare of abused animals.

You and the bikers?

Yeah. The Beasts of Burden are committed to the cause, and they provide protection. Animal rescue can be a dangerous game. Ah! When you finish with that, can you straighten out those bales of hay in the back?

Thanks. When those boys give up leather and put on overalls, I can retire.

This is Buddy. Hey, boy.

Buddy was a racehorse.

Hey, Buddy.

This was Buddy when I got him. He belonged to the Cutlers.

They did this to him?

Jim Cutler treats his horses like four-legged stacks of cash.

I've seen it time and time again.

He runs his horses ragged, then he discards them when they're not winning anymore.

So you stole him.

We prefer the term "liberated."

And what about Diamond Heist?

Did you liberate her?

Haha! I like you. You're very direct.

But if you want my advice, I think you should be looking into your clients.

Angie: So the Cutlers hire us to find their prize racehorse two days before the big race. Only, the local jockey tells us she hasn't been performing very well lately.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Shade: I doubt it.

No camera in the stall and no cop involvement; it all adds up.

Admittedly, I've never been big on math, but I fail to see how this adds up.

An insurance scam. I've done hundreds of cases like this.

The client sinks their own boat to cash out on a claim, then hires me for due diligence.

You think they're hiding Diamond Heist?

All anyone cares about on the track is money.

This is exactly why I avoid this world and everything that comes with it.

This may seem like a big leap, totally out of left field, but don't you think there could be some other issues at play here?

Unresolved mother-daughter-type issues maybe?

No, no. This is about our lying, Richie-Rich, high-roller clients, and I'm gonna prove it.

We've met with everyone in Diamond's camp, still no trace of her...

Oh, gosh!

Note to self: easy on the caffeine. Do you mind if I use your bathroom?

End of the hall, door on the right.

Thank you.

Uh, alright, so no trace of her.

Oh, Angie spoke out of turn, Of course, we've found traces.

I mean, what kind of P.I.'s would we be if we couldn't find traces.

I mean, there's always traces when you... (Shade clears his throat.) ... enter a crime scene.

So how long have you guys been in the racing biz anyhow?

Uh, about six years or so.

Six years?!

And this is the first time you've had a horse go missing?

Those are pretty good odds!

Are you suggesting that's what's happened here?

Well... Hahaha!

You know how kids just wander off sometimes?

Hahaha!

Not that Diamond Heist just wandered off.

Let me tell you what we know.

Private investigating is a lot like a hockey game... You have to see every case from all angles.

Hey! Oh, easy.

And you battle with everything you have, and it doesn't matter if you're down the entire game. All that matters is what that scoreboard says when the buzzer sounds.

Mm-hmm. Alright, this fictional scoreboard, what does it say about our horse?

I'm gonna tell you the truth, sometimes you have to draw a penalty in order to win the game. You know what I mean?

Give me that!

Here, you take this. I'm gonna go check on your colleague.

No, no, I'm sure she's fine.

Look, the real similarity between investigating and hockey is that the only thing that matters is... the speed at which you get out and hustle.

And especially what you do when the clock is running out.

(toilet flushing)

Ooh!

Whoa!

All yours.

Thanks for the tea.

$3000 on organic feed. Blacksmith. Vet bills.

Acupuncture?

Yeah, it costs a lot to keep an athlete going.

I thought you lived on cheese puffs and energy drinks.

Hey, those were after-game treats.

Angie, meet Jules, my too-smart daughter.

You two have that in common.

Hey, Jules. Sorry for taking over your kitchen.

I didn't even know.

One of the perks of being blind. Nice to meet you.

You too.

How was school today, honey?

It was great. I joined the theatre club, so there's...

There's added fees?

You can say it.

I just...

I feel like I'm bringing home a new bill every week.

Yeah, I feel like that too. Kidding. It's fine.

Wait a second, additional fees.

The vet bills. There was one a month and then last month, there were...

There's four.

That's a pretty big discrepancy.

Yeah. Jules, you're a genius.

As long as it's being used for good and not evil.

Remember what Carly said.

Yeah, Diamond didn't want to run.

What was the vet's name?

We really appreciate you making a house call, Dr. Turner.

Where is the vomiting poodle?

I'm not gonna lie to you, there is no poodle.

We want to talk to you about Diamond Heist. You treated her four times this month.

I can't discuss my client's property with you.

Actually, we share the client. The Cutlers hired us to investigate her disappearance.

Diamond is injured, isn't she?

I don't know anything about that.

Covering up an injury is grounds for losing your license.

If you impede investigation, it makes you an accessory.

You've been studying.

Law and Order.

But that accessory thing, that's real.

Talk to Keith.

Irish Horse Whisperer? Why?

He told me to keep Diamond's condition secret from the Cutlers.

Had she gone lame?

Hardly. Diamond Heist is three-months pregnant.

Champion racehorses don't just get knocked up. It's not like this was a hookup after a school dance. It was planned.

I'm cross-eyed. There's so much tape.

I just want to place Keith at the track that night.

Wait a minute, that's your mother.

Looks like she lost.

She always loses.

No, no, no. This was big.

She's on the run.

Bet you that bookie's hot on her heels.

Nice call.

Yeah, I've studied a lot of game tape.

You ever think about giving her a second chance?

I've given her a thousand second chances, like that bookie.

You think we need to worry about that?

When I was a kid, my mom used to purposely get pulled over by the police. She'd speed right by them to show me the way to talk your way out of a ticket.

Sounds kind of bad ass.

It was kind of. Until I got older and realized you can't live your life that way.

Rules are there for a reason.

I've seen you break a rule or two.

Maybe more of your mom in you than you think.

Hey. Is that... ?

It's Keith, Cutler's horse trainer.

He's waiting for someone.

Here she is.

That's Bridget Cutler.

Money sh*t!

Keith and Bridget.

They were both there the night Diamond Heist went missing.

They both had access.

Let's go to the ponies.

No, let's talk to Bridget. We'll call and ask her to come in tomorrow.

Alright. Then I'll just go home and skim my notes before the test.

Going well?

Sure! Yeah!

I'm not worried.

What are the four principal methods of surveillance?

Three types of evidence?

The proper methods for writing a report?

You know what? One thing you don't know about me, Everett, I am the master of the final period.

Can't even learn the basics.

I can.

I have.

I will?

You know, millions of people read a Raymond Chandler novel and think it would be cool to be a P.I. But more to it than that.

I know that. And I'm gonna rally.

You're sure this is the right test? The most recent one?

Every time men fiddle with the balance of nature, it's a disaster!

Men like Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison and Stephen Hawking?

Thanks, Mark. Enjoy the seats.

Or do you mean "disasters" like penicillin, vaccination and the internet?

OK, fine, alright. Anyway.

I hear you, you make a great point, alright? But human cloning?!

Who knows what we're gonna end up with.

Or it could be a breakthrough to the next stage of human evolution.

We can't let fear get in the way of our advancements.

No, but...

Scientific investigation and discovery have improved our quality of life time and time again. And that's why I believe that cloning is the next logical step in our evolution.

Silence is victory, old man.

(laughing): Yeah.

I am straight-up prepared for this debate. Thanks, Dad.

Thanks for what?

For my "Code."

"There's no shortcut to success," right?

Right.

(sigh)

(sigh)



Thank you for coming in, Mrs. Cutler. I know this is inconvenient on the day of the big race.

I don't understand... Why can't Jim be here?

The thing is we found something involving you and Keith.

Keith? I just write his cheques.

Writing cheques? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

You and Keith at the track the night that Diamond went missing.

We know Diamond was pregnant.

What?! How?

Well, sometimes when a boy horse and a girl horse like each other very much...

You didn't know, did you?

Keith confirmed the pregnancy with your vet and then told him to be quiet about it.

Keith wouldn't do that. He wouldn't steal from me.

Or maybe you don't know him so well.

I do. He's a good man, and he cares about our horses.

I thought your horses were just investments.

Not to me. Never.

We've seen Buddy.

That horse nearly d*ed.

(Bridget sighs.)

I didn't...

I didn't realize until it was too late. Jim was losing money.

He tried to recoup it by over-racing Buddy.

That's why I made him hire Keith. I knew he would protect the horses.

If Keith's so good, why is he your on-the-side guy?

We're running out of time. Diamond Heist's race is up next.

So Keith is our Diamond thief.

Yeah, but did he pull it off by himself?

Hey! Rumour on the track is Diamond Heist was stolen.

Just keep walking.

Sure is a shame.

She's a beautiful filly, and so many people came to see her run. If only you had someone who knew something about her disappearance.

Don't you ever get tired of hustling people? All I want is to finish this case, then we can go back to not seeing each other, because that was really working for me.

She's just worried about the horse.

She doesn't even like horses.

But she's right to say those things.

I let her down in a lot of ways.

(recorded trumpet call)

This is the race Diamond Heist was supposed to run in.

I guess Gold Coast is gonna win after all.

I'm not so sure. When he arrived yesterday, he bolted out of his trailer. Looked real spooked. Never a good sign.

He arrived yesterday? Are you sure?

Positive.

You're as beautiful as your daughter.

Hey, that information was not free!

So what happens after she gives birth?

Is she supposed to keep pumping out babies until you get a champion?

You got the wrong idea, Miss.

I didn't steal Diamond Heist.

No. You had a partner.

Someone with access to a stallion.

Ivan Zickel.

His tricked-out trailer was here the night that Diamond disappeared, but Gold Coast only arrived yesterday. Either he was delivered twice or...

Ivan used the trailer to get Diamond out of here.

I guess that proves your theory that horses are more noble than people.

You don't understand.

Ivan's not my partner. He blackmailed me.

He found about me and...

About you and Bridget?

He threatened to tell Jim. I couldn't let that happen to her.

And Ivan wanted a foal.

I helped get the horses together. That was it.

I didn't know anything about a plan to steal her.

But once the pregnancy was confirmed...

Ivan came in and took her.

He made the same thr*at. I stood by and watched her go.

So where is he hiding her?

I wish I knew.

announcer: Next up, the main event, the final race of the Summerhill Derby.

Jockeys, take your positions.

(indistinct chatter)

Great odds for Gold Coast to win today now that Diamond Heist is out of the race.

He would have won against Diamond. It's probably why the Cutlers pulled her.

Nice poker face. We know you have her.

I'm sorry she isn't here.

I loved watching them run together.

Imagine the progeny those two could create.

It would be a super-horse.

(bell ringing)

announcer: And they're on!

You know you can't hide Diamond Heist forever.

We're gonna find her.

It only takes one foal to get a bloodline.

After that, a mother isn't really necessary.

But here comes Gold Coast!

You son of a bitch! We know you took her.

We will prove it.

How are you gonna do that?

Keith is responsible for Diamond Heist.

He arranged the pregnancy and told the vet to keep it quiet. Come on!

Gold Coast takes the lead! At the finish!

It's Gold Coast by half a lane!

(crowd cheering)

Me?

I'm just a man with a horse.

Just because I still pull cable sometimes for the phone company doesn't make me your personal tech guy.

Dad, this guy Ivan is a psychotic nerd, and we know how to stop him.

He created an app called Ping Squad. We know he's constantly tapped into cellphone towers.

If we can get a history of his pings we can find the location...

The location of the horse, yeah. Cell phone triangulation, I got that.

It's the illegal part that confuses me.

It's not illegal.

So you have a warrant?

Congratulations, son. You've just crossed the line into criminal behaviour.

You know, I think I'm gonna use you as my argument against human cloning.

Come on, Dad!

Didn't you use to help Angie's father back in the day?

Bruce was a cop, and cops have warrants.

Don, my Dad taught me to play by the rules, but I've learned that it's OK to break them if it's for the right reason.

Once the foal is born, Ivan is gonna k*ll Diamond Heist. She's the evidence.

If we can find her, we can stop him.

That makes this the right thing.

(sighing)

You two, you should be part of Jules's debate team.

Is that a yes?

Give me this horse thief's number.

I know a guy, I'll make a call.



According to Ivan's ping history, this is the place.

This is a crazy place to hide a horse.

Crazy like a fox.

It's abandoned, it's nondescript, unexpected.

Unlocked.

(Angie sighs.) Well.

Yeah.

Can't say we didn't try.

Maybe your dad was messing with us.

Yeah, I wouldn't put it past him. One time when I was a kid...

Shut up!

(muffled clanging)

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

(faint whinnying)

Over here!

The wall!



Hey, girl!

Hey, girl. Hey.

You don't belong in a place like this.

What do you say we steal this diamond back?

Come on.

You're a fraud.

You don't really hate horses, do you?

They're not the ones that disappoint you.

Come on, girl.

Come on, girl.

Right here. Come on. Come on. Come on, girl.

There you go. Come on. This way.

HEY!

Is this really your plan? Just to walk her out of here?

There's a 99% chance he's gonna sh**t you.

But only a 1% chance he's gonna sh**t the horse.

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

Come on! Ya!

No! Not the horse!

Shade!

Ya! Ya!

Shade, get back here!

(horse whinnying)

Whoa!

Ah! Ah!

Stop! Stop! Where are you taking her?!

No, no, no!

(kick)

Ugh! Argh!

Stop them!

(truck door closing)

Stop them!

Would you stop them!

Let's go! Let's go!

Damnit!

Who is that?!

You OK?

Ah.

Ivan: Who is that?!

(recording of horse whinnying)

Shade: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah...

Ivan: Stop!

As you can see, we had her,
but then those guys came out of nowhere.

And they didn't work for Ivan?

Not judging by his reaction when she was driven away.

Which was nothing compared to his reaction when he got arrested an hour later.

You're the detectives; who the hell are these guys?

The plates were covered in mud. We ran the vehicle description through our police contacts, but nothing came up.

I'm so sorry.

So where's Bridget?

I thought she'd want to hear this.

Bridget, uh, told me over breakfast that she wanted a divorce.

She walked out with a couple of suitcases.

Women!

You've had a rough week.

You have a gift for understatement, Miss Everett.

This report should be sufficient to make an insurance claim. The only thing remaining is the balance of our fee.

No bonus, since you didn't return Diamond Heist.

The bonus is a satisfied client.

Nice doing business with you.

One more thing, and I don't have a gift for understatement, your horse-racing days are over or this goes public.

Well, Saddleplay is gone from the app store.

Apparently, it only had a 13.3% success rate.

Ugh! God! Take it easy, will you?

I bruised things I didn't even know I had.

Next time, I ride the horse.

So we're committed to a next time?

Pass the exam, Shade.

Well, look who it is.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm sorry if I kicked you too hard, man.

Over 600 games of pro hockey, man.

Toughest gig in the world 'til I joined Everett Investigations.

Is she here?

Oh yeah.

Come on.

She will be giving birth this summer; you should come back and visit.

We'd love to.

Hmm...

Well, she's really feeling her oats today.

OK, I gotta check on my boys.

Stay as long as you want, guys.



We did good, Everett.

Yeah, we did.

So I kind of made a deal with your mom.

You what?!

After she gave me the tip on Gold Coast's trailer, she wanted something in return.

Ugh! How much did you give her?

All she wanted was coffee with you.

No. No, not happening.

OK.

OK? You're not gonna pest me into it.

Hey, it's your decision.

Yeah, it is.

I'll just say this.

Oh, here we go.

I know you may find this hard to believe, but I haven't always been the solid citizen you see standing before you today.

But I am trying to change.

Maybe she is too.

♪ Slowing down ♪
♪ I can see you're slowing down ♪
♪ But I won't leave your side ♪
♪ I'm waiting for you ♪
♪ Ooooh ♪
♪ It too late for us to ♪
♪ Fall asleep ♪

Jules: Stop cheating!

I'm not cheating.

I can hear you putting your pieces on the table!

It's an honest mistake.

Hey, guys!

Sure it was.

Hey, how you doing?

Good.

Jules, how was the debate?

I annihilated my competition, convinced the whole room that cloning is a genius move.

I was in the zone, Dad.

Good. I'm very proud of you.

How'd the exam go?

Uhhhh...

Well, you know, sometimes you give it your best sh*t, but you still end up losing.

Jules: Oh.

And other times, you win by the narrowest of margins.

You passed?

"54%."

But 100% P.I.

I knew you had it in you, son.

Really?

To be honest, I thought it could go either way.

Uh-huh?

♪ This is for the rest of us ♪
♪ Hoping it's all right ♪

Here, let me put it on the fridge for you.

No, you don't have to do that.

♪ This is for the rest of us ♪

Unless you really wanted to.

I mean, that would be such a place of honour to have my test scores put on the fridge. Maybe a little bit higher, honey.

A little higher. Yeah, maybe just a touch.

♪ This is for the rest of us ♪
♪ Hoping it's all right ♪
♪ Old enough to die ♪
♪ And young enough to fight ♪
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