01x10 - Chaos And Contentment

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Almost There". Aired 2015 to current
"Almost There" follows a New York City psychiatrist as he searches for the girl of his dreams.
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01x10 - Chaos And Contentment

Post by bunniefuu »

So, uh, where I grew up...

Yes, Canton.

Exactly. Brownie points for remembering.

Oh, come on. You told me like an hour ago.

If I didn't remember, I'd need dementia meds.


So, Canton. What were you gonna say?

Oh, yes. Sorry.

Uh, my mom used to say if you see someone out past last call, call the police.

Well, you go ahead and tell your mom that I am never out past last call.


Thanks for, um, waiting for me, by the way, after the gala.

Are you kidding? Of course.

Those professional galas-- they usually end a lot earlier, but you professors-- we had to kick you guys out.

Well, psychiatrists-- they have a lot of patients' problems to drown.




Oof! Are you ready? It's a big one.

[LAUGHING] Oh, boy.

How would you feel about breakfast with me?

I haven't been home since 8:00 A.M.

I make a mean bacon and eggs.



Yeah, I get it. Too soon to have you over.

No, I'm a vegetarian, actually.

Oh, well, how do you feel about pancakes?

I eat them and love them.

You eat them and love them.

I do.

Well, then, let's have pancakes.

Okay. Home sweet home.

Come on in.


All right, pancakes and waffles.

Yes, please.

Coming up.

Carter: Cooper!

Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Thank god!

God, where-- where the hell have you been?

Carter, this is Natalie.


Do you ever look at your phone?

Carter, this is Natalie.

Hi, Carter. He's your roommate?

No, this is my neighbor.

I've been calling you all night.

He's got some boundary issues.



Zoe is gone!

Who is Zoe?

Yes, some compassion. She's my intern.

She's missing?


Yes, it's been since last night or-- or tonight.

I don't-- what is it? Early? Late?

It's early.

It's late.

Carter, listen to me.

Natalie and I would like to have a little breakfast.



This is Natalie.



I'm sorry.

Oh, God.

This is Carter.

He's my dear, dear friend, and he's my neighbor.

And he's going now.

Good luck with your Zoe search.

I'm sure you can handle this on your own. Okay, buddy?

I-- Carter...

Did you find her?

Carter? Hi. Hi.

Who are...?

Holly: Carter.

Should I go?

Get back here.

No. I'm gonna 100% make you some pancakes.

Carter: I don't know where she is.

Coop, clearly, you have something going on here.

Please, stay. I'll need the moral support.

Come with me.

Carter: Holly, I have no idea.

Carter! You lost my sister?!

She disappeared!


Guys, guys, let's just calm down, please.

Who are you supposed to be?

Hi. I'm Jackson. It's my apartment you're yelling in.

Do you know where Zoe is? Do you?


Who are you?

I'm Holly. Zoe's sister.


High-school Holly.

High-school Holly.

Okay, Carter, why don't you and high-school Holly go over to your private apartment, and you guys can handle this little Zoe situation just the two of you.

I'm trying to issue an Amber alert.

Wait, Zoe's a child?

No, Carter's a child.

No, Zoe is a grown-up.

Well, debatable.

Zoe is a woman. She is not a child.

When did you last see her?

We were researching my book.


Yeah. Right?

Yeah, it's-- I'm-- I'm in a great flow right now.

It's ama-- you know, I sit down, and it's like my life-- it pours--

Zoe. Zoe.

Yes, uh, we were on chapter 7.

That's only seven chapters?

I have a lot to say.



Let's just stay on track here.

Okay, Natalie and I would like to have a little breakfast.

I can't believe you found Natalie.

Oh, you lost her, too?

Okay, where did you last see her?

Chuck E. Cheese.

We were at Chuck E. Cheese.

Okay, each chapter of my book is a year in my life, and so, when I was 7, I loved the Chuck E. Cheese.

And so we went there so I could get in touch with my 7-year-old Carter.

I can't imagine that's hard to do.

Turned in my skee-ball tickets, and I went to show her this-- 368 tickets.

Actually works.

Time out. Did she not answer her phone?


What about the apartment? Did you try the land line?

That's a good idea. Check the land line.

Okay, obviously, I have a lot of nutty in my life, but I promise it does not generate from me.

It's okay. Everyone has nutty.

There's no answer.

Did you even think to go by there?

Go where?

I think she means Zoe's apartment.

Yes, Zoe's apartment. That's a great idea.

You two, go to Zoe's apartment and see if she's there.

She's probably still sleeping. It's barely 7:00 in the morning.

I don't know where she lives.


Let's go.

Uh, no, I-I do think one of us should probably stay here in case--



Carter, if she shows up here, we'll call you, all right?

She lives behind lucky's pawn shop. Sounds beautiful.


It's funny, when I thought about seeing you again, I thought it would be just like this.



Well, not that, but, you know, this-- the--



I think my blood sugar's a little low.

Pancakes. Let's get you some pancakes.

♪ Hey ♪
♪ Oh, my love, let me be your f*re ♪
♪ We're a thousand miles up and I'm about to get higher ♪
♪ Feel my heart beating out my chest ♪
♪ You're the only prayer I need to make me feel blessed ♪
♪ Singing oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ You make me feel blessed, you make me feel blessed ♪
♪ You're the only prayer I need to make me feel blessed ♪

Waffles really are my specialty.

I had a waffle iron. I lost it.

My ex took it.

Ooh, I broke the rules.

You're not supposed to mention your ex on a first date.

That's okay. I'm a rule-breaker.


My ex took my collection of Paula Abdul records.


That makes you smile?

It does.

I can't say I'm sorry he took those records.


Listen, Mr. Burnt Pancakes, don't talk to me about taste.

Can I tell you something?



Someone's knocking.


What if it's Zoe? Okay.


Are you kidding me?

I'm looking for Carter.

Well, did you knock on his door?

He's not here.

Aunt Diane is going crazy.

Buddy, I can't help you, and I have company.

Oh, I feel you.

Hi. I'm Natalie.

Hi. Natalie, this is-- wait. Seriously? What?


Yes, okay?

Now, buddy, listen to me.

This is my neighbor's nephew Shadrach.

Hey. Hi.

I can't help you, okay? Carter's not here, so you're-- Coop.

What? Aunt Diane woke me up because she said my breathing was driving her nuts.

Well, breathe better. She's gonna hit me.

She's not gonna hit you. You're faster than her.

Diane: Shadrach! Oh, no, no.

Wait, wait, shad, buddy.

Diane: Shadrach! Oh, god.

[GRUNTING] Shaddy!

Whoa, she's not abusive. She's just pregnant.

What's that supposed to mean?

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just Braxton-Hicks. What is that?

It's false labor. It's fake contractions. Okay.

Though the contractions don't feel fake, it's fake.

All right. It's preliminary t*rture!

My sister had those.


Who is this?

I thought you swore off one-night stands.

Uh, she can hear you.

This kid-- he will not use the neti pot.

It's ridiculous!

He is stuffed up, and he's breathing through his mouth like some kind of rhinoceros.

I mean, he won't neti pot?! Do you neti?

Uh, I have.

I mean, I don't regularly, but I have.

I will pour liquid down that kid's nostrils until--

I mean, I will waterboard him.

Okay. Diane, my completely insane neighbor, this is Natalie.

Oh, come on.

Natalie-Natalie? Yes, this is Natalie.

Oh, my gosh.

Ha! Oh, wow!

I'm so sorry. I'm Diane.

Come on. Bring it in. Oh, my goodn-- oh, it's so nice to finally meet you.

It's nice to meet you, too.

Oh, my god, you found her.

I did. I did.

Except she's gonna leave now because all the crazy neighbors keep coming over, so let's go.

No, no, no, no.

I'll just get him, okay, and then we'll leave, okay?


God, I'm sorry. It's okay.

Ooh, god. This kid.


It's a very tight-knit building, huh?


Sugar snaps!

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

Do you see her?

No. Are you sure?

Here, take this.

God, pawnshops are so-- they're so sad.

You know, when my book becomes a best seller, I'm gonna use some of the proceeds to, uh, to buy back things from pawnshops for people.

So that's your big philanthropic idea-- is just to buy back a bunch of stuff for junkies?

What? What?

All right, she's not here. Let's go.

Hey, Holly.

Did you-- I mean, after...

You-- Zoe showed up right after you and I--

I know what we did. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I thought you had sent Zoe.

Why would I send Zoe?

'Cause, you know, after we-- we connected, I thought maybe you were still interested in a, you know, more connect-- more connecting.

So you thought that I sent Zoe to check up on you?

No, Zoe sent Zoe because she's an opportunist.

All right, come on. Let's find her.




He won't come out.

I'm gonna go get my phone, make him talk to his mother.


Is that a real smile?

Yeah, it is.



I guess it reminds me of growing up with four older sisters and how I couldn't wait to move out so I could finally get some privacy.

In New York?


Sure, New York and privacy-- that's an oxymoron.



I don't...


I'm so sorry. Excuse me.


Oh, god.



Sophie: [SIGHS]

For the love of god, Sophie, what are you...?



Not Josie.

What are you doing here?

Soph, this is Natalie. Who is Natalie?

I am.

Wait, Josie, you're...?



Sit down.

What are you doing here?

Hold on. I am processing this.

You are the Natalie he's been looking for, and you are here.


Yes. Okay. Okay.

Sophie, who is this person, and why the hell are you in my house?

This is Jeremy. Wait.

No introduction until I state my purpose, and I don't want to taint this by making it social.

I need your help, doc. Desperado for your help.

I need a session.

Don't speak. Wait, please.

He needs an answer to his proposal by the end of today, or that's it.

Help me, doc.

Jeremy proposed? Congratulations!

Thank you.

Sophie, I am not giving you a session right now.

You're the one who told me not to marry him, and I want to know why.

Because when I got home, I wanted to marry him, but I heard your voice saying no.

Why, doc? Why?

I did not tell you not to marry him.

You said my fear was an indication that I should listen to my hesitations.

You said that?

No, I would never say that.

Yes, you did.

And now I am not leaving until you explain it or help me or do whatever hoo-doo you do.

I don't care. Look at him.

This is a man who needs an answer, and you are the reason he doesn't have one.

Sophie, listen to me.

Natalie and I-- we are trying to-- okay, why don't we talk about this on Monday at work, where it is appropriate for us to be speaking with each other?

Jeremy, go wait in the hall.

Sophie, go with him.

She needs your help.

Listen to Josie.


Whatever. Jeremy. Go.

Okay, so, Natalie, doc says to me, and I quote-- do not bring Natalie into this, please.

What am I supposed to do-- ignore her?


I'm just gonna go.

No, no, no, no, no. Wait, Natalie.

Just shrink me, and then I'm out of here.

Okay, I-i just don't feel right being here for this.

Please, don't-- don't. Just come here.


I just need to deal with this for two seconds.

Maybe you could just relax in there for a minute?

You want me to relax in your bedroom?

Mm. Smooth.

Sophie, give me two minutes.

This is not a two-minute problem.

Come here.

Okay, first of all, this is not at all how I imagined getting you into my bedroom.


Secondly, I'm really sorry.

This is clearly the craziest thing that's happened to you in a long time, and I have no excuse.

These people are lunatics, and I-i don't--

Jackson. My brain's exploding.

It's okay. Take care of her.



I'm an event planner, so everybody thinks I can organize anything.

You're a psychologist, so everyone wants your advice.

It makes sense.

Everyone wants advice from their shrink.

Um... Could...

Don't move.




It just-- this idea sort of just came to me, but I-- get up.

What? No. Get up. Get up.


Get up.

No, no, no, not you, ira.

Please don't hang up. Please don't hang up.

I'm having such a day.

I can't even begin to-- I need your advice.

Yes. No.



Ira, I've got Natalie in my apartment.

Ira, this is huge for me.

I don't-- I can't remember the last time I felt this way.

But I feel like the universe is testing me because every human being I've ever known is intruding on my night--

Carter and Diane and Shadrach and-- and-- and Sophie and high-school Holly.

And I don't-- hey.


Ira, yeah.

Right, hang on.

He thinks I should assert myself and kick everyone out.

Take control of your environment.

Good advice. You are in control.

You just have to let others know.

Yeah, I-- that's exactly what he said.

Are you a therapist?



Um, yeah.


Ira, yes. No, I agree with you. I-- and I'm gonna go in there, and I'm gonna just lay down the law.


Yeah, no, I was talking to him.

Oh, sorry.

What's that? Yeah.

No, I'm-- no, I'll never call you again.

Yeah, this'll be the last time that I ever call you.

Yeah, I swear.

Okay, I'm going back in. All right.

Come with me.


Okay, listen up. Sophie, sit up.

Jeremy, sit down. Shad, park it.

Are you sure you're okay?

Have you ever had a baby?


All right, then.

Neither have you, aunt Diane.

Shut up, Shadrach.

All right, everybody just sit down for a second.

I-- oh, not you. Not you.


Sophie, do you love Jeremy?

Here's the thing-- let me provide some ground rules as to how this is gonna work.

I'm gonna ask you a direct question, and you're gonna give me a direct response, okay?

Do you love Jeremy?


Is there a logical reason why you won't marry him, with the exception of fear?

Well, I kind of-- yes or no, Sophie? Yes or no?

What was the question?

Are you afraid of marriage?


Jeremy, do you love Sophie?

With all of my heart.

That's five words, but I'll take it.

Sophie, you always talk about fear.

I wondering if that's because you love him so much that you'd be devastated if the whole thing went south.

Does that sound like it rings true for you?


Okay, will you marry Jeremy?


Tell him.



Okay. Look at that.

Get a room.

That was impressive.

Okay, now, you.

I dare you.


Carter, uh, what are you doing here?

Is Holly here?

Carter, I just about had this situation under control!

Oh, my god, I've lost them.

I think I lost sisters.

Are you kidding?

You-- you look pale. You should sit down.

Sophie: I think that's just his complexion.

Oh, my god, we went to get Zoe, and Holly was gone, too.

They're gone.

They're just-- they're all gone.

Did you call them? Of course. Yes.

There's-- there's no answer.

I think someone should call the police.

It's like-- I think there's, like, a conspiracy going on here.


Ohh! What's hap-- what's happening to her?!

Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Oh, my god. I'm hyperventilating.


Carter. Do this.

Just do what she says. Good idea.

Breathe. You're okay.

So, he can breathe loud, but I can't.

Shut up, Shadrach.

Oh, god, Cooper. You have to slap me.

I got to what? I'm hysterical. Slap me.

Okay. Do it! Just slap me!

All right, okay. Coop!

Carter! What?

You're freaking out, dude!

Yeah, don't-- you-- you were gonna slap me?

Well, you said slap you.

I'm sorry. I'm freaking out. You're right.

I'm totally-- I am freaking terrified that I've lost two women.


Josie, you gonna get that?

Don't do it.

It's like a train wreck I can't stop watching.

I found Holly!

Holly: Where the f*ck is he?!

Holly! Holly, it's you!

You scared me half to death! Where were you?!

You ran! You ran!

I didn't even know Carter could run.

Oh, yeah, no, he's fast. He's faster than you'd imagine.

Just ran right out onto the street and into the subway, and then you were gone.

No, you were with me, and then you were gone!

Oh, my god! Why don't you answer your phone?

For the same reason that I didn't have cab fare or subway money-- 'cause you have my bag!

I-- oh.



Oh, god, are you okay?


Jackson: Yeah? I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry?

I think I, um-- I had an accident.

I don't understand.

Um, on your couch.

I peed on your couch.

You peed?



Are you sure it's pee?

Have you ever had a baby?

A baby? Me? No.

[CHUCKLES] Why do you say it like that?

You want kids. Well...

Guys, hey, maybe not now for that conversation.

Okay, I'm gonna call Dr. schlitz.

Wait, that can't be the name of a medical professional.

Schlitz? [LAUGHING] Is that really...?

Coop, do you have any towels?

Okay, I'm gonna call the doctor.

You know, it-- it could be that her water broke.

No, no, no, that's just pee because the baby's not due for another two weeks.

Yeah, wouldn't she know the difference?

There's only one way to tell-- the smell.



Jackson: Okay.


Oh, Jeremy, do something!

You're a doctor?

He's a podiatrist.


Nope. Nope. I'm breathing. I'm breathing.

And this is fake contractions, okay?

It's just fake contractions.


Carter: Shadrach!

What did Dr. schlitz say?

Mom, look!

Is that Dr. schlitz?

No, you called my mom, so she called back.

Now we're on face-- oh, it just-- it just froze.

Call the doctor!

Okay, okay, uh, "schlitz" under "contacts"?

Okay, okay, really, you just need to calm down.

f*ck you. I am calm, okay?

I am not having this baby today!

No. Ow! Aah! Aah!

I think it's time to call 911.

No, no!

This will not be an emergent birth, okay?

This is not part of my plan, you know?

Jackson: Diane, just listen to me.

You're not allowed to have the baby in this apartment.

Okay, please, I'm sorry, but that's the truth.

I'm gonna call 911. Yeah.

No! No 911. Call 911.

Nobody is calling 911!

I am not having this baby today-- ohh!


Guys, I am on with schlitz's service, and it's very loud in here.

Can you keep it down?

Shadrach: You're hurting him. Uh-oh.

"Uh-oh"? "Uh-oh," what? What, "uh-oh."

Uh, let's take her to the bedroom. No, no, no.

Hey, Jackson. Yeah?

I kind of want to push.

Don't push. No, no, no. Don't push.

You can't have a baby here!

You got to have the baby in the hospital.



Zoe! It's a baby-day miracle!

Where the hell have you been?

I volunteer at the zen center once a month.

It's a 24-hour meditation.

Oh, my god.

Détendez-vous. Détendez-vous.

Ohh. Okay.

I interned with a midwife at a birthing center in tangier.

Ohh. Okay, let's go.

Hey, Shadrach!


Hey, where's my camera?

Is this the best date you ever had?

Without question.

I have to tell you something.

I can no longer wait to kiss you.

Okay. Okay.

Somebody better get a camera because I'm gonna have my baby.

Zoe: Respirez. Respirez.

The camera. Now.

Okay, okay. I'm gonna go. Go, go.

Holly: Oh, my god. Okay.

C'est ne pas un problème. Respirez, Diane.

What?! Respirez.

"Not a problem. Uh, breathe. Keep breathing."

High-school French.

Yeah, I got it. I got it-- my phone!

My phone! Okay, okay, okay.

Cinéma vérité. Here we go. Here we go. We're going in.


Sophie: Okay, still no schlitz, but the baby's coming.

Excuse me.

Hello? Excuse me.

No doctor.


Baby time.

You coming?



"The Miracle of Life" -- a documentary by Carter Halliwell.

Inhale. Okay. Mnh.

And push.


And push.

Jackson: This is a little nauseating.

Keep pushing.

Carter: Hey, Shadrach.

Smile, man. You're gonna be a cousin.

Pushing. You're almost there.

Jeremy, look! Aah!

What's happening?


Okay, I need some clean towels. The head's crowning.

I'm going. I'm going. Okay, she's got it.

I can feel the head.

You're almost there, baby. A couple more pushes.

Carter: Oh, boy.


I feel like I have--

Is he all right?

Carter, you okay?

I have to lay down for a minute.

He's down. Doc.

Carter, hey. Carter.

Carter. Carter.

Meet my new cousin.

Natalie, you want to hold him?

Can I?



Oh, Doc. Look at her.


♪ Oh, let it ride with your wings wide open ♪
♪ You are airborne again ♪
♪ When a billion stars lay beyond the doorway ♪
♪ Don't you lock yourself within ♪
♪ If the lightning lights your way home ♪
♪ Then so be it, whatever comes ♪
♪ May you catch the storm you're chasin' ♪
♪ May you catch the storm ♪
♪ Beyond mountain, mystery unknown ♪
♪ But how will I know if I don't go? ♪
♪ I'm gonna catch the storm I'm chasing ♪
♪ Gonna catch the storm ♪
♪ Oh, let it ride with your wings wide open ♪
♪ You are airborne again ♪
♪ When a billion stars lay beyond the doorway ♪
♪ Don't you lock yourself within ♪
♪ Oh, let it ride with your wings wide open ♪
♪ You are airborne again ♪
♪ And when you run into the rain and thunder ♪
♪ You will smile like old friends ♪
♪ And when the lightning lights your way home ♪
♪ I'll give you a song so you're not alone ♪
♪ May you catch the storm you're chasin' ♪
♪ May you catch the storm ♪
♪ Over the ocean, mystery unknown ♪
♪ But how will I know if I don't go? ♪
♪ I'm gonna catch the storm I'm chasin' ♪
♪ I'm gonna catch the storm ♪
♪ Oh, let it ride with your wings wide open ♪
♪ You are airborne again ♪
♪ When a billion stars lay beyond the doorway ♪
♪ Don't you lock yourself within ♪
♪ Oh, let it ride with your wings... ♪
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