04x05 - Lean In

[bunniefuu]

I booked you at the Sex Stop.

It's a classy sex store. They sell books and flavored condoms.

Previously on "Mistresses"...

I decided to partner with Jonathan on the hotel-restaurant.

Your little party-planning thing is now a real P.R. business.

She's right. It's impressive.

I feel a little lost.

I could actually use some help here in the store.

I think Michael's gonna love my design.

Michael, Michael, Michael.

Must be a pretty important man for his name to make it into our bedroom.

Uh, you really need to go, Michael. Now.

So, I was researching preschools online the other day.

I know it's early, but I've heard these things get competitive.

Anyway, I noticed a lot of the schools are teaching mindfulness to children, which is fascinating, right?

Well, are you telling personal stories, or is this part of the pitch?

Part of the pitch. So, I thought maybe there's a way to apply that same concept to the physical relationship.

Sort of an extension of the whole tantric sex craze which was so big in the late '90s.

Wait, wait, hey, sweetie. I hate to stop you, but if you don't see that capitalizing on a craze from the late '90s is a problem, then we've got a problem.

Uh, it was just one idea.

Truthfully, it's not even my favorite.

Well, good. Pitch me your favorite.

Okay, I thought for my second book, I could move away from the topic of sex altogether.

Better to not be pigeonholed, right?

Well, no one's trying to pigeonhole you.

I am trying to brand you.

You're a sex therapist, Karen. Get onboard that party train.

Whoot-whoot!

I want 10 new proposals next week. Can do?

Can do.

Fantasmic.

In the meantime, I got you a spot on "LoveChat."

Huge podcast. The host, Jason Hughes, is about to be bigger than Marc Maron.

You don't know who Marc Maron is?

Honestly, I'm not sure I know what a podcast is.

I'm kidding! [Chuckling] I know what they are.

Just haven't figured out how to listen to them.

Well, figure it out.

You're gonna want to be prepped before going in.

Jason Hughes is a client of mine and a bit of a shock jock, so you got to know how to roll with the punches.

I can roll.

I-I won't do that again.

Yeah, I-I think that would be best.

Uh, wine, wine.

[Sighs]

Now, I don't recommend you trying the flower right away, but once you get used to the machine, I can teach you how to make a heart.

It's absolutely gorgeous.

Honestly, Randy, you're an artist.

Why, thank you.

It tastes even better than it looks.

[Door bell jingles]

♪ Bring me down ♪

Mmm. Delicious.

How do you do it?

So, that was a rhetorical question?

So, I've decided I don't see the point in telling Marc about the kiss.

What good will it do?

Well, it's not so much about doing good as it is about preventing a bad.

If you don't tell him, he's gonna find out.

I'm with Joss. Honesty is always the best policy.

Do you even know what we're talking about?

Not yet, but I'll catch up.

Well, I agree with April.

There's no reason to tell Marc if it's only gonna upset him, especially if it's not something that will ever happen again.

Do you think it will ever happen again?

Absolutely not.

Because it shouldn't or because you don't want it to?

Both.

Then forget about it.

Why start trouble where there is none?

Mm. She makes a good point.

Wha... I thought you just said honesty was the best policy.

A glib idiom that glosses over the complexities of the human experience.

Did she just call me an idiot?

"Idiom."

An expression that cannot be understood from the meanings of its separate words but that has a separate meaning of its own.

Although in this particular case, the meaning isn't really obscured, so...

What the hell is she talking about?

I have no idea. Karen. Earth to Karen.

Hi there. Welcome back. Where'd you go, pretty lady?

Oh, I'm just working out some talking points for this podcast I'm gonna be on.

Love-something.

No. "LoveChat"?

Yes.

Barbara got you on "LoveChat"? That's fantastic.

Is it?

Yeah.

Well, it will be if you don't do any of that weird stuff you just did. [Laughter]

Speak intelligently?

No, you just...

You can't go in there over prepared, especially not with a guy like Jason Hughes.

He's super off the cuff.

You know who Jason Hughes is?

Of course I do. I'm a publicist.

It's my job to know every minor celebrity who thinks they're a major celebrity in case, you know, one day they actually become a major celebrity.

You remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was on "Growing Pains"?

No.

No.

Mnh-mnh.

Well, I do, and I was 6.

Leonardo DiCaprio.

He's a beaut, isn't he?

Mm.

And single again.

Anyone know where I might be able to meet him?

[Coughs]

Harry: This place is phenomenal.

I can't belive we've never been here before.

Josslyn: Oh, well, you have to be invited to join, right?

Yeah, but I can get you in if you want.

Mnh-mnh-mnh. No, I wasn't saying that.

Please. He loves it.

[Chuckles]

Oh.

Oh, how's the new house?

Are you all settled in?

Yeah, pretty much. The place is great.

Traffic is a bloody nightmare.

Oh, okay.

You're up in the hills, right?

Yes, there's one way in, there's one way out, but look, I'm not complaining.

I'm complaining, but I'm a bit of a curmudgeon.

A bit? A bit?

Okay.

[Light laughter]

So, Josslyn, when are you coming down to the site?

Oh, I'm dying to see it.

When do you think the opening might be?

At least six months, probably closer to a year.

Oh. Are you guys doing anything now to capitalize on Harry's TV momentum?

I'm just... it seems like a wasted opportunity, if you don't mind me saying.

Spoken like a true publicist.

Well, one of the best.

[Chuckling] Okay.

You know what, we don't have to talk shop tonight.

Let's just...

She makes a good point.

Eight months from now, they probably won't be running as many ads with Harry's face all over it.

Thank you. That's exactly what I'm thinking.

I think it would be really worthwhile to build in some publicity opportunities while he's hot.

Yeah, but I was told it's better to do a media blitz right before the opening.

Right, that makes sense.

Yeah, that's one way to go, you know.

Save your money till it counts, but there's a whole other school of thought that if you start the momentum early, as long as you keep it steady, it can be just as effective.

It might cost a little more in the aggregate.

Money is not an issue.

That's what I figured.

What else did you have in mind?

Well, a website should be up and running immediately.

You know, build that right away.

We can link it into his show's website, and then boom, we have an instant fan base, ultimately.

[Clears throat]

Thanks for meeting me here last minute like this.

Of course. No problem.

I know I said it was about the subway tiles, but really, I wanted to apologize.

I feel terrible about what happened.

We... don't need to talk about it. Really, it's okay.

It's not okay. I'm really sorry, April.

Well...

I accept your apology.

Thank you.

I-I was drunk.

And upset about your divorce, which is understandable.

Exactly. The timing was all wrong.

Exactly!

Wait, what?

I never should've kissed you in reaction to what was going on with Teresa. If I could do it over again...

But you can't because I am in a relationship... [Breathes deeply] a happy relationship.

Okay.

I should... go.

I'm sorry, April. I'm just confused.

I swear I felt a connection between us.

I wouldn't have kissed you otherwise.

But maybe it was just me.

Was it just me?

I am really grateful for the opportunity you gave me, Michael, but I don't think we should keep working together.

April...

Good luck with everything.

[Keys thud]

[Sighs]

Is it me, or should we be getting naked right now?

Yeah, I'm a little tired.

Come here. I'll do all the work.

You just lie there and you look pretty.

Why did you have to do that tonight?

Do what?

Pitch yourself to Jonathan like that.

It was so... undignified.

Excuse me?

Tonight was supposed to be fun, Joss.

Two couples getting to know each other, and instead, you turned it into this whole strategy meeting.

What are you talk... I was talking about you, Harry, and your restaurant.

And how you wanted to be the publicist.

You have to admit it was a little awkward.

Yeah, actually, it was a lot awkward.

Well... I was trying to be nice, but...

Yeah, no, because I shouldn't have to pitch myself, Harry.

You should've offered me the job anyway, unless you think I'm not a good publicist.

I think you're a great publicist. I just...

I don't want to work together.

Wow.

So, you've actually... You've actually thought this all out.

I have. I even did some research, and couples who work together fight more often.

It's statistically proven.

Oh, my God.

All right, well, okay, don't worry about the statistics.

We've worked together before, right?

There was a lot of drama, a lot of tears.

Yeah, but did it ever occur to you to maybe talk this whole thing over with me before you just made a decision?

Well, I figured, since you hadn't brought it up, that maybe we were on the same page.

Well, you were wrong.

See this? We're fighting already.

And this is the bedroom.

This is where he does his podcast?

Something about the acoustics.

[Toilet flushes]

And it freaks people out. [Chuckles]

[Chuckles uneasily]

Karen Kim?

Jason Hughes. Pleasure to meet you.

Thank you for having me in your... room.

It's a little unorthodox, but it keeps people on their toes.

I like authenticity, which is why I straight-up loved your book.

What a ride, man.

Thanks. That's...

Shh, shh. Save it for the show. That's how we keep it real.

Let's dive in, yeah?

[Theme plays]

What's up, lovers?

You're not gonna believe who I'm sitting across from right now.

Oh, she's shy. Don't be shy.

Oh, hi. I'm Karen Kim.

Karen Kim!

Author of the memoir "Unleashed."

Is memoir the right word?

Somewhat.

Well, whatever it is, it is full-blown madness, my friends.

You thought you had a decent sex life, think again, because Ms. Kim is here to make you feel like a damn virgin.

And I don't care how many sluts you banged.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Sheila.

[Keyboard key clicks, woman giggles]

[Laughs]

How fun is she?

Okay, Karen Kim, my first question is this.

When you sat down to write this epic, was the intention to set back the women's movement 100 years, or was that just a happy coincidence?

Excuse me?

You must have realized that in success, you were basically creating a zombie tribe of whores who will spread their legs for any Tom, d*ck, and hooker-loving Harry.

Not that I don't appreciate you keeping the bar low.

I don't think...

But you're one of those edumacated lady folks with all kinds of fancy degrees, so I just assumed you wouldn't bother promoting that tired cliché that women can have it all.

Orgasms and babies and power, oh, my!

Because we all know that when you try to have everything, you wind up with nothing, am I right?

Well, glad we agree.

Now, let's get back to your mission to reduce women to their pinker parts.

So, what is your favorite sexual position?

How was drop off?

You know that kid from Lucy's Instagram who's definitely not her boyfriend?

No.

Pretty sure they were holding hands when they walked into school.

I thought I was the only one freaking out over Lucy's little love life.

I'm not freaking out, I'm jealous.

The kid's getting more action than I am these days.

[Scoffs]

Although I feel like we might be able to rectify that situation.

Say, now-ish?

It's 8:30 in the morning.

Yeah, and the house is empty.

Dishes are all done. Sofa's well lit.

[Sighs]

Mm.

I got fired yesterday.

You what? You mean Michael?

Yeah.

What happened? I thought it was going so well.

Well, it was.

But it was also turning into this full-time thing, you know?

He wanted me to be on-call 24/7, and that's just never gonna fit my lifestyle.

Our lifestyle.

Like the other night, Michael wanted me to stay later to go over all these rug options, but I was not about to miss your first real gig, so I told him I couldn't, you know, go, and it turned into an argument.

Yeah, see, now I feel this is my fault.

It's not. It is 100% not your fault.

It was my choice.

I thought you said you got fired.

That's right. It was my choice to get fired.

But you loved it so much.

It's okay.

I love you more.

Mmm, yum.

Oi!

Ow!

Sit, eat.

Sorry, dove. Can't be lollygagging about anymore.

I'm a working woman.

Just waiting for Harrison Ford to buy me a lunch box and kiss me goodbye.

This is why I wanted a sister.

Hi.

[Clears throat] Okay, let me just start by saying that I understand why you think it's a bad idea for the two of us to be working together, but if you just hear me out and you still feel the same way, I will never bring it up again.

I'm listening.

Okay. [Clears throat]

Number one... While you were correct that during our previous working relationship, there was a lot of fighting, I would argue that most of that fighting was a result of the sexual tension building up between us.

Now that we're a couple, we can have sex whenever we want.

No more tension.

It's an interesting point.

Mm! Okay.

Number two... Events by Josslyn was my first venture on my own.

I was... I was young, I was naive, and I had no clue what I was doing.

I've grown up a lot since then.

I agree.

You do?

Great.

Oh, right. Um [stammers] wait.

Number three... unlike the last time we worked together, this wouldn't be a partnership.

Okay? I'd be working for you, and as my client, I would always defer to you, unlike in our marriage where I'll most likely always demand the last word.

Can't argue with that. You win.

No, Harry, I don't want to win, okay?

I want you to want me.

I want you.

I want you and so does Jonathan.

I talked it over with him after you went to bed last night, and he agreed we should hire you.

Har...

[Phone thuds]

Okay, if you keep making decisions about me without me we're gonna have a problem, but not this decision.

This is a great decision.

Yay!

[Chuckles]

Should we celebrate?

Mm-hmm.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah, you Michael?

Who's asking?

I'm Marc, April's boyfriend.

Is April with you?

Oh, no, no, no. She doesn't even know that I'm here, and I'd prefer to keep it that way if you don't mind.

Of course.

Um... thing is, I feel somewhat responsible for what happened with you guys.

It's nobody's fault. We shouldn't be placing blame here.

Yeah, but now April's really upset, which makes me really upset, and I just know that if you give her a second chance, Of course.

I feel horrible about all this.

I never should've kissed her.

Wait, what?

You... you kissed April?

I thought that's why you came all the way out here.

[Grunts]

[Sighs]

April: Hey.

I was just about to start dinner.

Lucy's finishing her homework.

And you kissed Michael.

[Sighs]

Marc.

Yeah.

Okay, first of all, I did not kiss him. He kissed me.

Come on, April. If we're gonna play games...

No, we're not.

I-I just wanted to, um... make sure that you had all the facts before we had this conversation.

Why are we having this conversation now?

Why didn't you tell me when it happened?

I'm so sorry. Honestly, I did think about it, but then I decided that it was so stupid and meaningless, and I didn't want you to get all upset for no reason.

How did you even find out?

I-I went over to his house to try to get you your job back.

Wound up punching the guy in the face.

Wait. You punched him in the face?

Yeah, you're damn right I did.

Why did you have to go and do a stupid thing like that?

Oh, I did the stupid thing?

I just told you that kiss meant nothing to me.

I quit a job that I loved because you were more important, but that does not give you the right to just go and act like a damn fool.

This is exactly what happened with Richard.

Who the hell is Richard?

My ex-boyfriend who went and b*at up Paul after he d*ed the first time, and that was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

You and Paul?

Me and Richard!

I don't go for that macho crap, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with you.

I thought you were better than that, but now I don't know what to think.

What is happening here?

Hey, you're the one who kissed someone else!

I'm the one who gets to walk away mad!

[Door slams]

I'm walking!

[Door slams]

Morning, Lila.

Good morning, Dr. Kim.

I meant to text you last night to tell you how much I loved your podcast.

You were fantastic.

No, I wasn't.

Well, you didn't say as much as I was expecting, but the podcast itself was riveting.

That Jason Hughes, what a hoot, right?

[Chuckles] And sexy, too.

He is much more attractive in person than I thought he'd be.

When did you meet him?

He's waiting for you in your office.

[Gasps]

Did I not mention that?

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Adorable.

She's got your chin.

What are you doing here?

I came to say thank you for the awesome interview.

You left in such a hurry, I didn't get my hug.

That wasn't an interview.

It was a monologue, an insulting one at that.

You can't take it so personally. It's all part of the act.

It may be part of your act, but I don't have an act.

Well, if that's the case, then you better get one.

Because the second you become a public figure, you need to cultivate a persona, if for no other reason than to keep yourself sane.

I'm pretty sure having two competing personalities is the definition of insane, but what do I know?

I'm just a licensed psychiatrist.

Come back on my show.

[Scoffs] No, thank you.

You've got more downloads already than the hot robot from "Ex Machina."

I really don't care.

[Sighs]

I get it. You're afraid.

[Chuckling] Please.

You don't want to be challenged on your bogus theories.

If you were really confident in them, you'd leap at the chance to stand up for them.

The fact that you're blowing me off must mean that you don't buy into this pseudo-feminist crap any more than I do.

Are you really attempting reverse psychology on me?

No, I'm honestly relieved. But friend to friend...

We're not friends.

As long as you keep hiding behind this progressive nonsense, you'll never get what you really want out of life.

And what do I really want out of life, Jason?

What every woman wants.

A husband, security, someone who can give you another child before your eggs dry up.

You have 10 seconds before I call security.

Call me if you change your mind.

[Snickers]

[Sighs]

[Door closes]

Okay, let's start with the basics.

When did you first know that you wanted to become a chef?

You know the answer to that.

Pretend I forgot.

Did you forget?

[Scoffs] No, of course not.

Um, okay, let's start with a different question.

Your previous restaurant...

Savannah's Kitchen.

No, I was talking about Wunderbar.

Mm, yeah, that wasn't mine. That was Greta's.

I guess so, but if we bring up Savannah's Kitchen, we kind of have to talk about Savi.

Which leads to me being divorced.

Yes, and engaged to her sister.

Which is unappealing.

In a court of public opinion, yes.

See, Harry, the idea here is to write a jazzy little puff piece that I can put on your show's website, and I can link it to the restaurant site in progress.

We have a site in progress?

You do now.

You are good at your job.

Why, thank you. I know.

Okay, let's try something different.

[Snapping fingers] Uh... Oh!

Here we go.

What was your all-time most memorable dish?

Spaghetti and ketchup.

Harry.

I'm serious.

I was 7 years old and I loved my mum's Sunday night pasta.

But I had no idea how she made it, right?

And then one day she was working late and I was starving, so I decided I could probably figure out how she did it by just looking in the fridge, which wasn't terribly well stocked, but I knew the sauce was red, so I had a little snoop around.

And other than a few rancid strawberries, there wasn't anything red except for... the ketchup.

So I boiled the water, stuck in the pasta...

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You were 7?

7 years old. Plucked the pasta out with a fork 'cause I had no idea what a colander was at the time.

And I poured half a bottle of ketchup all over it and mixed it up.

Voilà. Dinner.

And it was delicious.

It was horrible.

Oh.

But you didn't ask me what my best dish was, you asked me what my most memorable dish was, and like any good man, you never forget your first.

[Scoffs]

I love that story.

I love you.

I love...

[Beep] Um, Justin.

Can you please take a very long lunch right now?

Oh, what's... okay. Wow.

Mm.

This is the best interview ever.

Mm. So, so good.

Mm.

What the heck is that?

[Gasps]

Oops.

Kate?

[Knock on door]

[Dog barks]

Oh, my God.

It's not that bad.

I can't believe he did that to you, Michael.

I'm so sorry.

Honestly, it's okay.

I am so embarrassed.

Please don't be.

Really, he was well within his rights, and truth be told, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.

Getting punched in the face?

Yeah.

I don't understand.

I know you don't, April, and that's my fault.

I haven't been completely honest with you.

What do you mean? What's going on?

It's not like I've been keeping a secret. It's different.

Honestly, Michael, whatever it is, I can handle it.

I've had a husband die twice and fell in love with a painter who turned out to be an FBI agent.

It takes a lot to surprise me.

I'm transgender.

I wish I could say it's something I always knew about myself, but it took some time.

When I was a kid, my mom used to call me her little tomboy because of how I liked to dress and wear my hair short.

As I got older, I started meeting people who identified as trans, and that's when I realized... that's who I am.

How... old were you?

26.

I had just met Teresa.

I knew she was special, but I also knew that it was important to her that she was a lesbian.

I know that might sound strange.

I mean, none of this sounds easy for anyone.

So, me telling her that I wanted to transition, I knew it could be an issue.

So I didn't say anything for a long time.

Not until I knew that she loved me.

You didn't want to lose her.

I can understand why you waited.

I honestly thought that our relationship might be enough for me to be happy, but as time went on, I needed more.

I needed to live fully as myself.

She understood at first, but after a while, I think it just was too much for her.

Why didn't you tell me any of this before?

Selfishly...

I think I was enjoying my first authentic relationship as a man.

Do you hate me?

Of course not.

I hope I haven't ruined anything between you and Marc.

Don't worry about Marc. I'm just glad you told me.

Me too. Me too.

I'm sorry you had to see that.

I've seen it before. I have Showtime.

I'd really appreciate if you didn't tell April.

It's not like it's a regular thing.

That you had sex in the storage room or that you had sex with a married man?

How did you know he was married?

He came into the store the other day with his husband.

Oh.

Yeah. "Oh."

Are you angry at me or something?

I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.

I hate cheating.

It's what ruined my relationship with Brian.

It's what ruins all relationships.

Well, I hope it ruins theirs because I really love Gary and I think he loves me.

Doesn't make it right. They took vows!

People make mistakes.

That's why God invented divorce.

[Chuckles]

It's easy to fall in love when you have zero restrictions.

Just last week, I met the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my entire life at a taco truck.

But as soon as he mentioned his wife, I walked away, even after he told me he was separated.

It didn't matter, because I have standards and morals.

You keep acting all judgy judgy, and those girls are never gonna let you in their clique.

I don't care.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you do.

How's it going as Harry's publicist?

Mm, great.

I think it's actually gonna be good for our relationship, you know?

I'm learning all these really cute things about him.

It's fun.

More importantly, how badly did you suck on that podcast?

You're really sticking with this honesty is the best policy thing, huh?

No, I... Don't feel too bad, honey.

It wasn't entirely your fault.

It wasn't my fault at all.

He is a pompous blowhard who didn't let me get a word in edgewise.

And he had the audacity to ask me to come back, if you can believe it.

He did? That's great.

Did you not hear what I just said?

Karen, he's giving you an opportunity to...

To embarrass myself again?

No, thanks. Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice...

You're a moron.

That's not exactly how it goes, but close enough.

Yeah, no, no, no. You're not... You're not looking at the big picture.

This is exactly what Jackie and I were talking about the other day.

Who's Jackie again?

Oh, my trainer.

She's, uh... You would love her.

She's... she's all about, you know, female empowerment and taking what's ours, and she thinks that half the time, we let men win simply by refusing to play the game.

Just like what almost happened with Harry when he first told me that he didn't want me to be his publicist.

But then I re-engaged, and look what happened.

That's because Harry isn't a jerk.

Jason Hughes, on the other hand...

Is a pompous blowhard, but we know this, okay?

So let's be strategic. The next time you go in there, you don't wait to be given the floor.

You... You take the floor. You demand to be heard.

You lean in, Karen.

You're getting better at this.

Come on.

Hey, wait up.

[Bell jingles]

Hey! You checking up on me?

Actually, probably smart since I can't remember where I put my key.

You okay?

Mm.

I know I'm new to the group, but I'm a really good listener.

Back home, I had my own lady posse.

Granted, it was my mom and my cousin Sally, but...

Michael was a girl.

Excuse me?

Michael, the guy who kissed me?

He used to be a girl.

Wow.

Yeah.

What was her name?

I don't know. I didn't ask.

Did he have the surgery and everything?

I didn't ask that either. Should I have?

I-I have no idea. I mean, I'm...

I'm really out of my depth on this one.

Me too.

At least you don't have to feel bad about the kiss anymore.

Why not?

Well, if on some level, you did allow for it to happen because of some inexplicable connection, maybe there's a reason.

Maybe it's because you were bonding on some deeper female level.

Like how it is when you make a new girlfriend.

Can be really intense.

You know what? That actually makes sense.

Maybe it was a sisterhood thing?

Sure. If that's the case, there's no reason why you can't keep working together.

It's not like anything's gonna happen between the two of you.

That's true.

And if you think about it, Michael being trans could be the best thing that's ever happened.

You know what, Kate?

You're gonna fit in just fine around here.

Good morning, lovers.

Back by popular demand, the one, the only, the deliriously sexy...

I'm gonna stop you right there.

Uh, someone's feeling feisty. [Chuckles]

I'm not feeling anything but tired, and not just because my daughter woke me up at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00 a.m.

I'm tired of being reduced to my appearance.

I'm tired of being taken out of context.

I'm tired of being talked over, glossed over, airbrushed, and antagonized.

I'm tired of having to listen to men like you who turn my daily struggles into pithy punch lines.

I'm not here to amuse you, Jason.

I'm here to educate you.

Now... what's your first question?

Okay. Be honest. Do I sound like a prat?

So far, you sound fantastic.

And the picture Joss chose is lovely.

Huh.

I didn't know you worked for Charlie Trotter.

He was one of your heroes, wasn't he?

I didn't work with him.

I was a busboy at one of his restaurants.

Does it say that I worked with him?

It's definitely the implication, especially since she's quoting a conversation the two of you apparently had.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

He didn't say that to me. I said that about him.

Look at this. She's gone and twisted this all around.

Consider it a happy accident, then. You come off much more charming on the page than you are in real life.

This is just...

Morning, beautiful people.

Hey, this article you wrote about me is a bunch of lies.

Well written lies. Let's keep this positive.

I didn't make anything up. Maybe I embellished a little.

Or a lot.

Harry. [Chuckles] It's not a crime.

I just took some of the best parts of your life and I sparkled them up a bit.

It's like Photoshop, but with words.

Okay, I don't need you to Photoshop my life.

It is sparkly enough as it is, thanks.

Meh.

Meh?

Who wants a smoothie? Just me?

Honey, obviously I think you're fascinating, but I'm your biggest fan. I'm not the most subjective.

I had some of the girls give it a read, and...

What... what girls?

My crew, my people.

This is what I do for a living, okay? So just trust me.

Okay, Joss, I want you to change it.

Are you kidding me? Don't be crazy.

I'm not being crazy. I'm the client. You work for me, remember?

Are you seriously taking that tone with me right now?

Ooh, mango. Such a treat.

I'm not taking any tone, okay?

I-I want you to change it.

Okay, whatever you say, boss.

[Groans]

Mother...

Whoa.

Easy there, love.

Hey, hey. You okay?

No.

[Door slams]

[Guitar playing]

[Door closes]

Sorry, am I interrupting?

No, I'm just messing around.

I tried to, um, wait up for you last night so we could talk, but you got home so late.

Yeah, well, rehearsal went longer than I thought.

So, I, um, I went over to Michael's house yesterday.

I was planning on apologizing on your behalf, but it turned out I didn't need to.

He wasn't angry. In fact, he was glad you did what you did.

Made him feel like a real man, or something like that.

Look, I don't know what angle you're playing here, April.

Michael is transgender.

He used to be a woman, and now he's a man.

Okay.

Well, okay.

Uh, wow, I... I don't know what to say.

I know. [Chuckles] Obviously, I had no idea.

I mean, I've been working with the guy for weeks now.

You'd think you'd be able to tell, but...

I don't know. I just met the guy.

This has to be a little strange for you, I guess.

Well, yeah. It's, uh... It's been a lot to process.

But, I mean, at least now I feel like I can go back and finish the job.

[Scoffs] Really?

Well, yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I?

For all the same reasons you weren't gonna go back before, because he kissed you.

He's clearly attracted to you, April.

Honestly, I think he's just confused.

And even if he is attracted to me, so what?

I'm not attracted to him.

It's not like anything would ever happen.

Yeah, but still...

Just like nothing would ever happen with you and Sofia.

What does Sofia have to do with any of this?

I'm just saying you're working with a very attractive woman.

A woman you used to date.

I could be jealous, but I choose not to be because I trust you.

The question is, do you trust me?

Yeah.

I do.

Then kiss me.

[Bell jingles]

Good God.

Your face looks like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

You'll be happy to know that Gary broke up with me last night.

I'm not happy that you're miserable, but I'm not surprised either.

Karma has a mysterious way of working out.

Enjoy your soapbox now, my little kangaroo.

You've lived in this city for about five minutes.

Call me when you've been out here for five years and tell me how easy it is to find love.

I never...

You think you're gonna click with every guy you meet at a taco truck?

You think there are a million guys out there who are unattached, somewhat close to your age, and check off all your boxes?

Guess again.

I've been single for 10 years, and it's been hard.

I am tired of being alone.

I want kids, I want a family, I want everything that you want, and I thought I had finally found that.

Hi, Barbara. I'm so glad you called me in.

I have so many ideas to go over with you...

Are you a bourbon or a scotch girl?

I'm good, thanks.

Honestly, I didn't think I'd have any new thoughts.

At least not this quickly.

But my last interview with Jason got me so pumped up.

[Scoffs] Well, that's great, Karen.

But unfortunately, I'm not sure I can invest any more time in this right now.

In what?

You.

Not right now.

Are you f*ring me?

Yes.

I don't understand.

Well, of course you don't, because if you did, you wouldn't have gone on Jason's podcast with the clear intention of humiliating him.

Humiliating him?

What about what he did to me?

His show, his rules.

I was just standing up for myself.

You should be on my side.

Jason has been my client for a long time.

Jason brings in more money than me.

I understand that. But as a woman...

As a woman, I will do what's best for me.

As an ambitious, intelligent, business-minded woman, I will do what's best for my company.

I don't let my personal feelings get in the way.

My soul will not be compromised here.

In order for your soul to be compromised, you need to have one.

A friend of mine from Food & Wine is meeting us at the site.

I sent him that blurb that Joss wrote, and he thinks he can build off of it.

Oh, man. I'm sorry about that.

I should've called you earlier. Um... that piece [chuckles] is rubbish.

Joss got a little carried away, but I've asked her to take it down, rework it.

Why?

Because it's not true.

[Chuckles]

Well, not all of it, anyway.

Harry, you're not running for president.

You're a celebrity chef who has never done cocaine.

It's amazing she could find something to make your life seem interesting.

Okay.

Listen, I-I... no, I'm saying that with nothing but love and affection, but you got to lighten up, man.

You're opening a restaurant. It's supposed to be fun.

Yeah, well, she should've run it by me at least.

Well, tell her for next time.

Listen, Harry, I'm a businessman, so I've done my due diligence.

I checked up on Joss.

She's got a strong reputation in her field.

Well liked. She's good at what she does.

Yeah, I know.

But that means nothing if it's making your personal life hell.

There are a million publicists in this town, so if working with your fiancée is a problem for you, then we don't.

You can blame it on me if you like.

It's your call.

[Slurps]

There are lots of other agents out there, Dr. Kim.

[Sighs] Not really.

Not when your first book was only somewhat successful.

I can't afford to take another year off to write something on spec, and I don't know how to get another deal without an agent.

[Sighs] Maybe I should give up.

Maybe I don't have another book in me.

Of course you do.

You have as many books in you as I have songs.

You sing, Lila?

Like an angel.

Oh, I better get home. I have to relieve the nanny.

I'm not sure you should drive.

Oh, ooh.

I'm not sure I should stand.

Why don't you lie down, take a nap before you go home?

What am I doing with my life?

Taking it day by day, Dr. Kim.

Day by day.

[Sighs]

[Door opens, closes]

♪ At least you know that I have tried ♪

Next time, please talk to me before you print something.

Okay.

I'm sorry that you hated what I wrote.

Pfft. It's fine. Jonathan loved it.

Hmm.

But then again, Jonathan does have questionable taste.

[Chuckles] I couldn't agree more.

Did you see the monstrosity in our living room?

What monstrosity?

There's a monstrosity?

Come here. Mm-hmm.

[Chuckles]

Holy...

Yeah. It's a little bit extravagant, don't you think?

Not to mention a blatant disregard for public safety.

I lo... I love it so much.

Of course you do.

I just... I can't... I can't...

[Both speak indistinctly]

Oi, don't you have a bedroom for that kind of nonsense?

Look.

[Chuckles]

Let's take it for a spin.

No! Hell no.

You're not getting me on the back of that donor-cycle.

Yes, you are!

No!

Grab a leather jacket.

We have to look cool, man!

No! No!

[Laughs]

[Cellphone ringing]

♪ Try ♪
♪ Try ♪
♪ Try ♪

[Clears throat]

♪ I'll try ♪

Hi.

[Chuckles]

Guess what came back in stock. Those Granada tiles you loved.

They can be here by Friday.

Does this mean you want to be my designer again?

If you'll have me.

I would love that, April. You know I would.

I just don't want to ruffle any more feathers with Marc.

Marc is fine with it.

Now that everything is out in the open, it's all good.

You told him?

I did. I hope that's okay.

Of course, of course.

And he was all right with everything?

Marc is a very liberal guy.

He would never take issue with your... situation.

My being trans.

Right.

And of course, now he's not threatened anymore.

What does that mean, "of course"?

No, it just means... you know...

Right, now that you know that I used to be a woman, you're not attracted to me anymore and he doesn't have to worry about you cheating on him.

I was never attracted to you.

Bull...

I'm not saying we didn't have a special connection, and maybe it was a bit confusing, but that was because I didn't realize what part of you I was connecting with.

And what part is that?

Your female part inside.

But now that I know the whole truth...

You could never be attracted to me again.

Of course not.

And why is that?

Because I would never date a trans person.

Get out of my house, April.

Now.

[Door opens, closes]

[Sighs]

What the hell are you doing here?

[Sighs]