01x04 - The City Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Roadies". Aired: June 2016 to August 2016.
"Roadies" is an insider’s look at the reckless, romantic, funny and often poignant lives of a committed group of "roadies," who live for music and the de facto family they’ve formed along the way. The music-infused ensemble comedy series chronicles the rock world through the eyes of music’s unsung heroes and puts the spotlight on the backstage workers who put the show on the road while touring the United States for a successful arena-level band.
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01x04 - The City Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken

Post by bunniefuu »

Bill: Previously on "Roadies"...

New set lists.

We're gonna open with "Janine" tonight.

Just tell me why did we start changing the set list?

We should have never started playing "Janine."

I actually really appreciate your brutal honesty.

I would very much like it if you'd stay.

Times like these, I used to like a little drink.

Remember that time at the tiki bar where you took that torch...

I'm not that guy anymore.

"Bassist Rick Bayless was clearly inebriated by the end of the evening."

You go after Rick, you go after me.

I'm sorry, Natalie.

We had to get a restraining order on your visits.

And here I was thinking foolishly that we had the makings of some sort of friendsh... friendship.

You don't want to be my friend anyway.

You two are in denial... about a lot of things.

[cheers and applause]


Hey, you have... wait, what's your name?

It's Kelly Ann. Are you okay?

Now I need you to put the word "oxygen" on your thing, this thing, okay?

The teleprompter, before we play "Janine," because I need oxygen to sing that f*cking song, 'cause she f*cking broke his heart.

Yeah, I'll remind you, man. I'll remind you, Rick.

It's all right. It's all right.

No, we should have never started playing that song because... you know, 'cause Christopher's my friend and she f*cking broke his heart, you know?

Did you know that he hasn't said her name in seven years?

Did you know that, Marianne?

Seven years.

Hey, it's Kelly Ann, Rick.

Kelly Ann.

That's what I said.

Rick: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Would you do that thing that you do when you just make them disappear?

woman: I love you, Rick!

Uh, yeah. Gotcha.

Just backstage, dressing room.

You're the best, man.

All right, yeah, you got it.

There he is!

Milo: Hey, how's it going?

Yeah, Rick, uh, he wanted you to know that he really enjoyed hanging with you today, but, uh... [clicks tongue] we gotta h*t the road, so...

Did you like the, uh, like the show?

♪ Got 16 days ♪
♪ One for every time I've gone away ♪
♪ One for every time I should have stayed... ♪

Ugh, that smell you are smelling is me.

Ugh, it's me. I reek.

It's actually me.

I have such a great day off planned.

Me too.

You both do?

Well, I've always wanted to see Cave Hill cemetery, but I can't get anyone to go with me.

And Bill actually suggested we go together.

I can't wait. I f*cking love a cemetery.

Donna: Me and West Coast are hitting Hammerheads for duck fat fries.

Shelli: Mmm.

How does that sound, Kelly Ann?

It sounds... wait, what do you mean?

Shelli: Uh, I'm gonna take a long-ass shower.

The minute we check in tomorrow, I'm gonna order an omelet with, uh, bacon and onions and maybe a... a scone if they have one.

[phone ringing]


Kelly Ann: Shelli... is Rick okay?


Never mind. The cemetery sounds...

I know. amazing.

Colonel Sanders buried there.

Really kinda like a technical advisor slash, you know, guitar ninja slash, you know, lots... lots of slashes in my title.

Oh, and tomorrow, there happens to be a day off as fate would have it.

Cool. That's Bill.

He's a great guy, yeah.



You said you needed your per diem tonight.

Who's the man?

Oh, no, you the man. Thanks, bro.


You think maybe I could get an advance?

'Cause I have to send my old lady some more money.


Yeah, well, you know, so got this cousin who needs something reconstructed.

You seen pictures of my old lady?


Right there, check it out.

Right... this your wife?

That's my wife.

This is your wife?

That's my wife, Sandy, bro.


My man.


Put it down.

Oh, my bad, sorry.

Yeah, I'm gonna meet up with her tomorrow in Louisville.

I can't wait.

I can see why.

Yeah, especially since my last few days off, she had to cancel on me at the last minute.


But I'll be seeing her tomorrow, God willing.


That's right.

Wes: Dude, I've been telling you all week if we just flip 250 and 251's wheels to the back, RH 6 will snuggle right in there.


What? Why aren't you arguing with me?

It's Rick. I let him down today.

His rhythm got all f*cked.

This band... if you take away the bass...

Yeah, he was having trouble finding the tempo.

He's having trouble finding the stage, dude.

All right, get a good piece.


God, he just lives for that moment on stage where the hops...

Meets the grapes, I know.

Meets the grapes, right, yeah.

So, you know, "Beer before wine, everything's fine," right?

But last week, he asked me for a Glenfiddich, so I'm like, I don't know, "Wine before scotch, not on my watch."

So I gave it to him after the wine, during Christopher's second solo, but now he's on the Lunesta, man.

Nothing rhymes with Lunesta.

♪ She never let her heart go cold... ♪

He just needs a day off.

You do too, man. Decompress.


Maybe even shower. God.

We are so programmed to believe soap and water is the answer.

It isn't, my friend.

It just makes you smell better.

Well, maybe you.

♪ Feedback blues... ♪

Kel, what you got planned for your off day?


♪ Freaky... ♪

Yeah, that's not a plan.

First, I'm gonna take a shit.

Like a home shit, nobody knocking on the door asking where a power cable is.

Or you can just stop talking right now.

And then I'm gonna get a magazine, and then I'm gonna get real comfy on there, and then me and Donna are gonna go out for duck fat fries.

That is a plan.

I like duck fat.

Shelli: Bill? Bill?

Hey, let's get an early start tomorrow, okay?

Early start?

Cave Hill.

Here, listen to this.

"Forget-me-nots creep from grave to grave."

Right, Cave Hill. That... th... was that definite?

Kayla: Mmm, pizza.

Because, um, I'd thought that we'd left that sort of open-ended, so I, you know...

Copy that.

♪ On the water... ♪

Uh, sorry.

Pizza's crew only.

♪ Make you forget ♪
♪ Come on, get higher ♪
♪ Loosen my lips ♪
♪ Faith and desire ♪
♪ And the swing of your hips ♪
♪ Pull me down hard ♪
♪ Drown me in love ♪
♪ Come on, get higher ♪
♪ Loosen my lips ♪
♪ Faith and desire ♪
♪ And the swing of your hips ♪
♪ Pull me down hard ♪
♪ And drown me in love ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Sing sha, la, la ♪
♪ La, la ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Sing sha, la, la ♪
♪ La, la ♪
♪ Come on, get higher ♪
♪ Loosen my lips ♪
♪ Faith and desire ♪
♪ And the swing of your hips ♪
♪ Just pull me down hard ♪
♪ Drown me ♪
♪ Just drown me in love ♪
♪ It's all wrong ♪
♪ But it's so right ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Get higher ♪
♪ Come on and get higher... ♪

Reg: No, it's a Fendi case.

Fendi. Fend with an F.

Yeah, well, no, I don't have it.

That's why I'm calling you.

It's been sent where?

But we... I'm... I'm not in Atlanta anymore.

I am at the Haverford Royal, Louisville.

Yeah, no, do not send it two days express.

You need to overnight it, okay?

Yes, thank you. Harvey!

Reg: Harvey?

Good morning, everyone.

Important announcement.

Lonny: What the f*ck is he doing here?

No f*ring someone on my bus, okay?

Oh, I am not. In fact...

I have everyone's room key packets.

Milo. Here you go, Donna.

Donna: Thank you Uh, Kelly Ann, Lonny.

Hey, guys, have a great day off.

Oh, and by the way, I'm doing my very first open mic night tonight at Chortles on River Street.

So if you're in the mood for some stand-up comedy...

Thank you, Harvey, Yeah, that sounds, uh...

Anyway, we've managed to be rather clever with group bookings, haven't we?

Ah, it was mostly you.

Reg: Eh, well, you helped immensely.

Harvey: Well, it was your idea, Yeah, enough. So, you may well be wondering...

Why are we parked in front of the Haverford?


Well, you've been upgraded from the hotel number six to the Haverford Royal.


Reg: Seriously.

Gooch: Oh, f*cking cool, man.

My wife is gonna love this.

Reg: You are most welcome. Uh, you are...


Gooch, yeah.

No, we've not met.

I know.

I've been avoiding you.

Yeah, well, that explains it.

Yeah, so, you know, I've been, um, studying the route.

Routing, not route.

Yeah, well, the, uh, "routing" for this tour looks like it was created by a drunken child with a highway map and a crayon.

For instance, why are we going straight from here to St. Louis?

Harvey: I believe Tom Staton's piano teacher is from St. Louis.

Yeah, but that makes no sense.

I mean, we're skipping valuable markets.

Why not stop in, uh, Toledo or Cincinnati?

[aggressive electric guitar flourish]


God damn it.



So close!

You done it now.

Jim: Hey, did somebody just say the C word?

Sorry, I don't understand.

You said the C word on the bus.


I most certainly did not.

Gooch, I-I was almost out the door.

It don't matter.

We all have to stay till we break this thing now.

Break what thing?

Wes: Wait, wait, it doesn't count.

'Cause he shouldn't be here in the first place.

He doesn't live here, right?

I actually didn't even hear him.

Milo didn't hear him say it. It doesn't count.

I could read his lips, though. He said the C word.

I most emphatically did not say the C word.

Listen, it... it doesn't matter if the person lives on the bus or not.

And it doesn't matter if everybody heard them or not.

We're cursed.



Are you Jim James?

I think so.

I'm a fan.

Reg: What does he mean, cursed?

Gooch: Oh, look at this, man.

It's f*cking starting already.

My wife, Sandy, just texted me that she's not gonna make it after all.

Another f*cking cousin emergency.

Oh, Gooch, sorry to hear that, man.

Th... that's what you're sorry to hear?

How about the fact that our tour just got cursed?

We gotta break this thing, guys.

Break what thing?

They're upset because you said a certain four-syllable city in Ohio while on the bus.

[chuckles] Oh. Oh, I see.

Well, I don't, 'cause it makes no sense.

But, um, I assure you it won't happen again.

My apologies. Have a good day, all.


No one leaves.

[upbeat rock music]

Yeah, I'm here in Louisville with this super sweet guy.

He's their manager.

Tour manager.


And we're about to check in to this super nice hotel, so...


Yeah, that's the plan. [chuckles]


Rick's gone.


Oh, shit, I-I-I shouldn't have put it that way.


He's not...

No, don't look like that. He's not d*ad, probably.

He's missing.

What are you doing talking to me like that?

You're gonna give me a heart att*ck over here.


He... he's missing?

He had a phoner in Seattle this morning.

No word from him, wasn't answering his phone.

I asked them to check the hotel finally, nothing.

The mini bar hadn't been touched, so...

Okay, he never checked in.

And Puna?

Puna's calling the hospitals.


Is there anything I can do?

All right, it looks like we got a new plan.


My plans had already been f*cked, so...


I gotta go.

Now, come on, let me out before this stops being mildly amusing and turns into more of a hostage situation.


I can't help you, bro.

Not till we drive 100 miles.


Wa... wa... wait, 100 miles?

100 miles in the wrong direction.

No, no, I-I heard it was 79 miles.

Yeah, me too. For the year they d*ed.





It is 100 miles.

First the eggs, then the balloons.

Rules are rules. Buckle up!

♪ One, two, three, four, five, six ♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪ Roadrunner, roadrunner... ♪

All right, guys, here we go.

♪ Going faster miles an hour ♪
♪ Gonna drive past the Stop 'n' Shop ♪
♪ With the radio on ♪
♪ I'm in love with Massachusetts ♪
♪ And the neon... ♪

I hope you find him.

What? Oh, yeah, no, we will.

Now, do you want to wait for me or...

Let's go, Bill.

Or should I... you want me to get you a room key?

No, too depressing.

But here is where I will be tonight.


Come find me, okay?

Okay. All right.

♪ All right ♪
♪ I'm in love with modern moonlight ♪
♪ 128 when it's dark outside... ♪

I'm just saying if some of us don't completely believe in this whole...

Except you do.

It doesn't matter.

Take another Lunesta.



It's all right, all right?

I need to see how it affects Rick, okay?

So I can manage the buzz.

So far, it's just making me piss like a camel, and I can't feel my face.

Wait, maybe if you touch my face, I'll be able to feel it. Come here, try it.

♪ ♪

All right, I say we go to Gooch, like, united.

f*ck, I can't feel it, man.


And we say, "Turn around. We're willing to risk it."

I mean, who's with me?

♪ '57, The highway is your girlfriend... ♪

Donna? Donna?

She's extremely bummed.

She was hoping to be in church right now.


Yeah, that was her plan.

h*t church right before brunch.

Wait, Donna goes to church?



Oh, yeah.


How do you already know this?

Mm, people just tell me stuff.

Mm, please.

Look, guys, I know I don't live here and I'm just hitching a ride, Donna said there were a lot of empty bunks 'cause your new guy fired a bunch of people, and we were just up so late playing music, but would you really want to risk not breaking a curse?

I wouldn't.

Will you wake me up when we get there?

Yeah. Here.


All right.

I'm taking another pill.

Wait, no, come on. Dude!


No, I can't...

Open up. Open up.

Get off me.

Open up. Open up. Open up.

You're not the boss of me.

Mm-mm. For Rick, for Rick.

Oh, come on, open up.

I know exactly where to look for him.

See, back when I was partaking... now, this is before you and I started working together... uh, Rick and I, we... we used to party pretty hard together, in every city.

So, uh, you know, don't worry.

I'm mainly worried because you look so worried.

[man sings indistinctly on stereo]

I know.

But there was that great moment when it went silent, after "All the Beauty," and... and someone shouted out, "I love you, Rick."



That was me.

He just looked so lost up there.

And now he is.

So you actually believe that because I said the name of that city that I've cursed your bus?

Not just the bus, the whole tour.

Yeah, but that is just utterly...

Gooch says it's 11 balloons.

I thought the eggs and the balloons had to add up to 11.

No, it's 11 balloons, one for each person.

What persons?


We're trying to figure out how many eggs.

Oh. Am I being confusing?

I'm so very sorry.

Kelly Ann, didn't Phil say you could call him if you needed him?

I don't think he meant I could actually call him.

No one's calling f*cking Phil.

Hey, there, what can I do you for?

Hey, do you remember me?

Of course, darling, film school will always be there. Your heart just required a little more music. So you found me here in space, and I'm a little woozy. I love Taylor Swift, but God damn, I f*cking miss gravity. I didn't realize that's what makes you shit. [chuckles] Talk about bad blood, you...

Well, I'm really sorry to bother you.

Uh, we're trying to break a curse, and somebody said something, unfortunately, on the bus.

The C word?

Yes. We're just wondering how many eggs we should...

man: Hey, Phil.

Hey, cool your jets! Somebody's cursed back on Earth. You need 11 balloons and 11 eggs. You gotta find 'em on foot, and then everybody that was on that bus has to break the eggs and release the balloons, and then somebody's got to play a song by The Who.

[electric guitar strumming]

Don't look so worried. Everything's gonna be beautiful, Shelly Ann.

Oh, it's Kelly Ann.

Make sure you break all those eggs. I learned that on my first tour with Nine Inch Nails... the hard way.

Got it. Thanks.

This is Captain Phil, signing off from outer space. See you next time.



You know, about the cemetery, I'm pretty sure we left it loose, didn't we?

[light instrumental music]

We were on the bus, uh, driving in Chattanooga past a church with chipped gray paint, and a sign saying, "He needs our hands and feet."

You were peeling a hard-boiled egg, and you said, "Hey, check out these shoes. I've had 'em for years, but I've never worn 'em."

And then we passed a cemetery, and you said, "You've been to Cave Hill, right?"

And I said, "Uh, no, I haven't. Have you?"

And you said, "Yeah, a long time ago."

And I said, "Well, we got a day off in Louisville."

And you said, "Let's go to Cave Hill together."

And I said, "Are you serious?"

And you said, "Yes."

And I said, "That is such a good idea."

And you said, "I know."

And then you ate your egg.

That's how we left it.

Hey, is there food where we're going?

'Cause I'm f*cking hungry.

[phone ringing]

That Rick?

Double D.

On our f*cking day off.

Don't take it.

Don't worry.

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

And the only way to stay alive once exposed is to have sex every nine days.

So not that often, then.

♪ Hey-eh, eh ♪

Harvey: Hey, hey, how many financial advisors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One... to hire a light bulb installer and then charge you 5% of your assets each year.

[Harvey laughing]

♪ I have been trying to find her, wanna give... ♪

Can I lean my head on you?

It's falling over.



Milo, I seriously...

I can't breathe when you're this close to me.

Shh. [mumbles]

You stink.

You f*cking stink.

[Milo grunts]

Wes: Now, that's dedication to Rick.

♪ She lit a f*re ♪
♪ And now she's in my every thought ♪
♪ Where could that girl have gone ♪
♪ She left no trail, but I cannot fail ♪
♪ I will find her ♪
♪ Everybody wants your body ♪
♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ Let's jack ♪
♪ I want your body ♪
♪ Everybody wants your body ♪
♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ Come on, let's jack ♪
♪ I want your body ♪
♪ Everybody wants your body ♪
♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ Let's jack ♪
♪ I want your body ♪
♪ Everybody wants your body ♪
♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ Come on, let's jack ♪
♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack ♪
♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack... ♪


He's not in the champagne court either.

Bill. Long time, no see.

♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, ♪
♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack, ♪
♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack ♪
♪ driving techno music ♪
♪ ♪

Look, maybe he'll just turn up.

But I'm thinking, as long as we're here, should we try the brunch?

Are you serious?

It's all you can eat.

Of course it is. Who's gonna touch that?

I-i-is it a... is it a gluten thing?

Look, I'm sorry. I just thought you were hungry.

Hey, I can't combine eating with public nudity.

♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ ♪

You know, I think we should call Milo.

I hate to bother him on his day off, but...

♪ So let's jack ♪

[clears throat]

♪ Let's jack ♪

[phone ringing]

♪ Jack, jack, jack... ♪


Milo, Bill here.

Look, we, uh... we can't locate Rick.

♪ Jack, jack, jack, jack ♪


We... we can't locate Rick.

Milo: Oh, my God.

Uh, have you... have you tried the Tattle Tail?

He's al... he's always talking about that place.

Yeah, we're here, he's not.

Are you sure? And ask for Red Velvet.

Bill: Red Velvet?

Milo: His favorite stripper in Louisville.

[phone ringing]

Well, wait. Maybe this is him.

No, it's just Double D again.

Look, last night, he had this girl he made me get rid of, all right?

He probably had somebody else lined up.

Probably Red Velvet.

Got it. Red Velvet.

Milo: And Bill, Bill.


Just so you know, she's crazy wild out of control.

Bill: Copy that.

Okay, we gotta find a Red Velvet.

Stop saying that. It's making me hungrier.
♪ I want your body, everybody wants your body ♪
♪ So let's jack ♪
♪ Jack ♪
♪ Let's jack ♪

Gooch, do you think that we might stop, um, for petrol?

Anytime soon? Because, you see, it's becoming necessary.

Listen, the head's just past the lounge.

Number one, right?

No. it... it's not, no.

Okay, well, there you go, buddy.

What's this for?

Oh, oh. Oh, no.

Listen, it's 100 miles without stopping, anybody getting out.

You're gonna have to hot bag it.

Hot bag?

Yeah, you take the bag, and you just stretch it out over the seat.

Oh, dear God.

No choice.

The septic can't handle solid waste.

Just... just tie it up tight.

Hot bag it?

Gooch, I am a fairly open-minded person, I am, but this driving aimlessly when people should be enjoying the day off, it... well, aside from anything, is costly.

I cannot in good conscience allow this to continue.

7,000 people, two doors.

Excuse me?

The Who, they did a late sound check.

People thought they were missing the show.

Not enough security, not enough ticket-takers, not enough doors, nowhere to go.

I see.

There was a stampede.

Some things aren't about money.

You're not a kid.

Haven't you learned yet how things are?

You know, the... the past doesn't always stay put.

You know, sometimes you're just going along, and, boom, it's... it's just there alongside you.

11 people lost their lives, innocent people, music lovers, people other people couldn't live without.

They lost everything.

How else can they live on?

So, yeah, we... we remember them, and we honor them, and we don't say the name of the f*cking city where they d*ed on the bus ever.

And if we do, you see, we turn that curse into a blessing.

♪ If I am a stranger... ♪

You see, it's not aimless, my friend.

Your conscience can relax... if not your sphincter.

[melancholy acoustic guitar music]

Here you go, buddy.

In case you need another one.

Go ahead.

[light acoustic guitar music]

♪ ♪

[all laughing]

He didn't mean to say it.

It's not his fault.

I know. It's your fault.


Why do you think he came on the bus in the first place?

To see you.



Oh, I had the sickest day off planned.

I was gonna go to the Louisville Zoo today.

Kelly Ann, do you know how magical the zoo is?

I was gonna feed a seal.

Donna: I know, honey.

How could I not remember Rick the bass player?


Such a sweetie.

Bill: He always talked about you.



He... he's not d*ad, is he?

Oh, no, no. He just... well, we're...

No, we're... we... we just thought maybe you'd heard from him or...



No, I-I haven't heard from Rick since, well, let's see, before I got my real estate license.

Bill: Hi.

This is my hubby, Arthur.


Honey, they're looking for Rick.

Rick, the bass player?

Oh, I miss Rick.

Roberta: Yeah, we both do.


Will you tell him that Arthur and Roberta really miss him?

Of course.

Yeah, sure.

You know, we were just about to have some warm scones with jam.


I bake.


Roberta: Yeah, why don't you guys join us?

I could put on some Stéphane Grappelli.

Do you enjoy jazz?

Sure, tradition was great. I'm also a big...

Well, there's more than enough.


Uh, well, I'm really...

I think...

We gotta get going.

But thank you.

We do?

Yeah, we do. We gotta go find Rick.

Well, next time, then. Bye-bye.

That's very kind of you.


I'll be in the car.

Well, thanks for your time.

Have a great day. Sorry to interrupt you.

It's good to see you, Bill.

You know my name?

Honey, how could I forget?

I didn't want to say anything in front of your lovely wife there, but the last time I saw you, I was worried about you.

And now look at you.

You found someone.

You've changed.


I have.

Let's hope Rick can too.

Let's hope.

Well, hey, take care.

You too.


Thank you. Bye.

Hey, Gooch, my man.

What's up?

I know what you're gonna say.


This curse stuff isn't real.

I should turn around.

No, no. The curse is real.

Actually, it's about your wife.

She's a lot better-looking than I expected.

No kidding.

God, I wish I was seeing her tonight.


My suggestion would be... take a little money, put it away.

Maybe buy a piece of property, but put it in a corporate name.

You always want to have a cushion.

Wait, are you saying I can't trust my wife?

No, no.

I'm saying that I've seen this economy k*ll a lot of good marriages.


You my man, Gooch, I just don't want yours to be one of 'em.

Yeah, I hear you.

But if you knew my Sandy... [exhales sharply]

I've seen her picture, bro.


I don't even know how you did that, man.

[chuckles] No.

But get a cushion.


[Gregory Alan Isakov's "Only Ghosts" playing]

[light acoustic guitar music]

♪ ♪

Where the f*ck are we?

We're lost, that's where.

Milo, please don't stand upwind.

♪ Brewing thoughts to make you drunk... ♪

All right, so where are we going to find 11 balloons and eggs?

If balloons and eggs are my ticket out of this particular circle of hell, then f*cking find them, I shall.


Who's gonna go with him?

Make sure he comes back.


Oh, Christ on a bike.

♪ So your seat's in the den ♪
♪ The darkness imbeds and you know ♪
♪ Only one thing is clear ♪

One scone.

That's all I wanted.

But why should I get anything I want today?

Ah, we're gonna get you a f*cking scone.

Don't make any more promises you don't intend to keep.

A place right near here, always open.

Let me guess, you and Rick used to go there back in the day, after a night of bar-crawling debauchery?

Now, you realize that Red Velvet and Arthur, they were trying to swing with us.


You're crazy.

"Do you enjoy jazz? Hmm?"

"Jazz" is not jazz, okay? [chuckles]

No, no f*cking way, no.


Jazz is code. Lifestyle code.


Oh, yeah.

Huh. [chuckles]

I can't... I ca... I-I can't deal with this right now.

Um, I am trying Milo back.

[line ringing]

[birds chirping]

Milo: I don't feel so good, man.

Oh, shit. I think I'm dying.

Wes: What?

Milo: With the...

I need to take a break or something, man.

How long have we been walking for?

Like, four minutes.

[phone ringing]

Shelli, hi.

Yeah, I can't talk right now.

Wha... what?




It's all true. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What about Rick? All right, is he still...

Is he still missing?

Wait, what?

Oh, f*ck. Oh, God! Oh, no.

Rick the bass player's missing? f*ck!

The f*cking tour is cursed.

Have you heard nothing about what I said?

This has nothing to do with... with the curse or The Who. I mean, it's Rick!

Rick... Rick is mine!

He's my responsibility!


I'm a f*cking failure, man.

Dude, no, no, you're not.

[light acoustic guitar music]

Am I hallucinating?

Oh. Shh...

Wes: Oh!

Oh, yes.

Yes. [gasps]

Okay. That's seven. We need four more.

Wait. I got this.

Oh. [chuckles]


Thank Christ I never get laid, huh?

And that you're hung like a horse.

It's both a blessing and a curse, my friend.


They're in the middle of nowhere.

Reg said the C word on their bus.

Get out of town.

I know.

Gooch wouldn't let him out.

They... they drove the 100 miles with him trapped on there.

There is a God.

I just hope he had to take a shit.

Ah. New carb smell.

Place looks exactly the same.



Hi, there.


Um, when you get a chance, I think we'll have a couple of these raspberry scones and then...

One of these guys too.

Yeah, and then one...

Sir, are you okay?

You got a lot of b*lls coming back here.


I don't want any more trouble from you, okay?

Just go.

No, no, no, I think you have the wrong...

I said get the f*ck out of here!

Okay. All right.

Just... no problem.

Just take it easy.

All right, which way? You choose.

This way.

No, that seems wrong.

But you just said...

We're never gonna find any f*cking eggs out here anyway.

You get cross so easily. What?

Has this whole curse thing ballsed up your plans, then, for your day off?

Has it "ballsed up" my plans?

No, I didn't have any f*cking plans.

Well, neither did f*cking I.


What do you say now?

Just keep walking.

I was right. I was right and you were wrong.

You found the house from the "Texas Chainsaw m*ssacre."


Well, they could have eggs.

Or g*n.

I assume all you people have g*n.

I may have no future, but I don't want to die.



[knocks on door]



Right, you stand watch while I check the fridge.

Stand watch?

Come on. Yes.


I just think we should leave them a note or something explaining it.

How could this possibly be explained?

Well, I just think if I came home and I found my eggs were missing...

We're thieves, it's theft, it's self-explanatory.

We only need 11, so you leave them one.


So they have one for breakfast.

Many people skip breakfast.

Yeah, but it's the most important meal of the day.


Okay, here you go.

All right, let's go.

No, that's somebody's sweatshirt.

We must protect the eggs.

Now come on. Let's go.

Kelly Ann! All right, fine.

You stay here while...

Okay, you were right. Come on, Reg, let's go.

But look.

We're leaving now.

Is that a person?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Maybe they're sleeping. Just having a nap.

Yeah, absolutely. They're just... they're having a nap.

[toilet flushes]

[both gasp]

[both panting]

Go, go, go, go, go!

[gentle instrumental music]

♪ ♪

[both laughing]


[both laughing]


♪ ♪

Please. Wait.


[exhales sharply]

Not one cr*ck.

Take that, curse.

Practically broken.

You don't actually believe in such a thing as a curse, do you?

I do.

You do not.

It's scientific.

People's beliefs affect their behavior.

It's very important in marketing as well.

It is the enemy of being "spendcentric."

If one believes oneself to be cursed, then one will be.

The tour will inevitably suffer.

From my view, not worth the risk.

[camera shutter clicks]

Did you just photograph...

Did you just photograph my foot?

I may not... believe in it.

Well, then why did you follow me in there?

[phone chimes]


They got the balloons.

Listen, it's actually not cool just to walk on a bus you don't live on unless you're invited.

And I don't know if you were coming to see a specific person, say me, but if you were, um, it... it just kind of puts me in an awkward position.

Just had a revelation.


When I said to you that we, um, could be friends, um, what you... you don't realize is... well, how could you, you don't even know me... is that...

I never become emotionally involved.

That's just fact, who I am.

So... don't need to worry because...

I don't feel things in the way that other people do.

You see.

I don't either, actually.

You can ask anyone.

I don't get involved.


I'm happy this way.

Well, then, we have that in common.

What do you mean, you may have no future?

Of course you have a future.

♪ ♪

[pensive acoustic guitar music plays]

♪ ♪

Oh, they got 'em. They got the eggs.

Nice, dude.

Right on, man.

Wes: Yes.

man: Yeah.


Harvey: Got one, right?

Thank you.


Thank you, sis.

man: Great job.

You did awesome, okay?

Jim: All right, everybody, Close your eyes.

It's 1979.

You're 15.

And you're about to see your favorite band play your first concert.

Wes: You showed up eight hours early for the festival seating just to get up close, with the band.

You see 'em breathe and sweat.

Can feel the rhythm in the air.

It's all around you.

You wait outside with all your friends.

This is gonna be the best night of your life.

[playing The Who's "They Are All In Love"]

♪ Where do you walk ♪
♪ On sunny times ♪
♪ Where the rivers gleam ♪
♪ And the buildings shine ♪
♪ How do you feel ♪
♪ Going up hallowed halls ♪
♪ And the summer clothes ♪
♪ Brighten gloomy halls ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And they're all in love ♪
♪ They're all in love ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Where do you fit ♪
♪ In "Zip Magazine" ♪
♪ Where the past is a hero ♪
♪ And the future a dream ♪
♪ Just tell me right now ♪
♪ Where do you fit in ♪
♪ With mud in your eye ♪
♪ And a passion for gin ♪

♪ ♪

all: ♪ And they're all in love ♪
♪ They're all in love ♪
♪ And they're all in love ♪
♪ They're all in love ♪
♪ And they're all in love ♪

[thunder rumbling]

♪ They're all in love ♪

♪ Where do you walk ♪
♪ On sunny times ♪
♪ When the rivers gleam ♪
♪ And the buildings shine ♪
♪ How do you feel ♪
♪ Going up hallowed halls ♪
♪ And the summer clothes ♪
♪ Brighten gloomy halls ♪
♪ ♪



Broke the curse, baby. Good shit.

Get the beer, Donna.

Hey, guys, we forgot the final step.

No, we didn't, we all...

Yeah, we did.

'Cause when I spoke to him from space, Phil said it's not broken until we take off all of our clothes and we lap the bus.

I love Phil!

You're first.

Let's do it.

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.


Get this man some soap.

all: Shower.


The soap.


Yeah, that's how to do it.

Rub it in.

That's it.

Under the arms, baby. Under those arms.



There you go, Kelly Ann.

all: Oh!

Nice, nice.

Wes: Finally, Milo takes a shower.

all: Whoo!

[speaks indistinctly]

Reg: A gift to us all.

I got it! I got it!

I know where Rick is! I know where Rick is!

[phone ringing]


The rain room?

Turn around.


♪ I'm about to get this money ♪
♪ My way ♪
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ Get that M-O-N-E-Y ♪
♪ That M-O-N-E-Y ♪
♪ Get that f*ck' money ♪



Is he okay?



I think he's breathing.

I think so.

Rick? Rick?

He's breathing.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thank God, you're okay. He's okay.


What the f*ck?

Oh, he's okay.

You guys sh1tting me?

Uh, what are you doing here?

Jesus f*cking Christ.

Are you okay?


You okay, Rick?

[groans] Yeah, I'm fine.

Splash some water on your face.



Are you two next?


Let me explain.

Uh, Rick and I have been traveling a path, which has inexorably led to this...

Strip club.


Like in the song "Janine," where it goes...

♪ What's been seen ♪
♪ We can't unsee ♪
♪ Can't go back ♪
♪ To what used to be ♪

We have seen each other.

And we cannot go back. [chuckles]

Um, I'm sorry I wasn't very welcoming.

I love you guys.

I just... I love you guys.

We love you too.

Ah, you're a good guy.

I'm just glad your okay.

Rick: Yeah.


I'm so glad you're here.

Did you know that this is my favorite place in Louisville?


Don't you love nature?


It's a good spot.

Rick: Right?

Lunesta fiesta, man.


Lunesta fiesta.

Milo: I'm telling you, you really changed my perspective.

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

I smell so good.

No, you smell great.

I'm here for a Regg. A Regg Whitehead.

Yeah, that's me.

Production manager called me to drive you back to the hotel.


Thanks. I'll be out in a sec.

All right.

Reg: Thank you, sir.

Okay, everyone, uh, fantastic.

Uh, I will see you, um, back at work.

♪ Tear it out... ♪

And Jim James...

I love what you played... man.


♪ You were choking in ♪
♪ Your own bed... ♪

Peace, Regg.

all: Later, Regg.

Later, Regg.

Yeah, dude.


♪ And I... ♪

To showers.

all: To showers.

Thank God.

To soap.

all: Soap.

Thank God!

How many did you have?

Yeah, we counted...

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

Shall we?

[indistinct chatter]

Donna: Love him, right? Loves.

Harvey: Louisville, here we come.

Wes: Broke the curse, baby. [howls]


♪ ♪
♪ See the ground, and I will be... ♪


Wes: Nice. [laughs]

Gooch: Let him through. Let him through.

Okay, guys, buckle up.

♪ When you're starring ♪
♪ In your last role ♪
♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Bill: Rick and our wonderful stalker.

Talk about doomed, you know?

I mean, can you believe her using that song as a model for their relationship?

Well, I love that song.

It... it's about a relationship that's cursed.

I mean, I was there when they first saw each other that night, Chris and Janine.

It was like, from that moment, they were...

Finishing each other's sentences?

I-I was gonna say completely wrong for each other, but, yeah, they were finishing each other's sentences for sure.

How can you say it was cursed?

Janine broke his heart.

And he wrote an insanely beautiful song.

Yeah, you probably played it at your wedding.

[chuckles] Oh, boy.

You did. [laughs]

You did.


So the thing is, people don't realize that these songs that they play at their weddings, a lot of times they come from some serious pain, you know?


Oh, baby!

What a surprise!

Look at you!



This is Sandy, my wife.

Gooch: My wife, guys. Come on. yeah.

Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. [giggling]

[indistinct chatter]

Gooch: [smooches] Oh, yeah. Oh-oh!


Shelli: Well, I guess that's one relationship that... isn't cursed.

Who knows?

Can we get another beer?

Can't always tell by looking what's... what's really going on.


Look, I don't know what I did to that guy to upset him so bad.

Bill, it doesn't matter.


Burgers on me, by the way.

You're on full scholarship.

Ahem. [chuckles]

You want to know one thing I'm always gonna remember?

The all-you-can-eat Tattle Tail buffet?

No, it's the look on your face when you finally grasp the real meaning of...

Shut up.

"Do you enjoy jazz?"

Oh, my God, I actually do.

Do you?


Not the kind of jazz they were talking about.

[laughing] No. Oh, God.

So our day off that didn't happen... did it somehow, somewhere happen in a parallel universe where maybe Rick didn't get lost and you got your scone and I didn't act like a jerk? I wonder.

No. I mean, today was all wrong, but it was also kind of...

♪ If I could walk on water ♪

.. perfect.

♪ Make you believe ♪
♪ Make you forget ♪
♪ So come on, get higher ♪
♪ Loosen my lips ♪
♪ Faith and desire ♪
♪ And the swing of your hips ♪
♪ Just pull me down hard ♪
♪ And drown me in love ♪
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