01x23 - I've Been Searching So Long

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Peter: Star-Lord super awesome adventure log update.

Our search for the Cosmic Seed has led us to the one place I didn't want to go.

Earth.

But it was just another dead end.

We're leaving now, having stocked up on essential supplies.

Drax: Quill, your people may be weak and primitive, but their culinary skills are most impressive.

Though as far as I can tell, this corn dog contains neither corn nor dog.

(DUCT TAPE RIPPING)

Rocket: Forget the food, Drax.

In fact, forget the Cosmic Seed.

I got something even better!

(ROCKET LAUGHS)

This duct tape stuff is gonna make me rich!

I am Groot.

Too bad the Cosmic Seed wasn't on Earth.

But on the plus side, maybe that means it's lost forever.

I don't know.

Maybe you're right, Gamora.

It's just that, I can't shake this feeling that...

(GASPS)

Guys, I just had another vision.

The Cosmic Seed is down there somewhere. I know it.

(GROANS)

Enough with the magical visions already.

Haven't we followed your hallucinations long enough?

I am Groot!

Hear me out.

We know the Cosmic Seed left traces of energy everywhere it went.

Well, one of those places was Attilan, home to the Inhumans.

And Attilan used to be where?

On Earth.

So, perhaps the Cosmic Seed is where Attilan was.

I hate to say it, but that actually makes some kind of sense.

Which is why, while you guys were busy mocking my visions, I put in a call to the Inhumans.

Hey, Gorgon. What's shaking?

I have considered your theory, Peter Quill, and I must say I find it extremely far-fetched.

But since we Inhumans have no plans to ever return to Earth, I suppose there's no harm in revealing Attilan's former location.

Transmitting coordinates now.

(BEEPING)

Nebula: We have the coordinates, Lord Ronan.

I will claim the Cosmic Seed for myself.

The Star-Lord's next dance-off will be his last.

(LIGHTNING CRACKLING)

Rocket: This is your last chance, Quill.

If the Seed ain't there, we're done.

We might be done anyway, Rocket.

The coordinates are in the middle of that storm.

Gamora: Hang on.

(PETER SCREAMS)

Groot: I am Groot!

(GRUNTS)

Crosswinds are too intense. I'm losing control.

(ALARM BEEPING)

(GRUNTS)

Wings are freezing up.

Why isn't the de-icing system working?

Rocket: Yeah, about that.

I might've hocked some of the gear to buy more duct tape.

What? That stuff can do anything!

Can it melt the ice off our wings?

Uh, no.

I got something that can. Groot, with me.

Hang on to me, pal.

(ALARM BEEPING)

It's working.

Brace for landing.

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

Pull up, pull up, pull up!

(ENGINE REVVING)

I am Groot.

(ROCKET SHIVERING)

Snow. I still hate this krutackin' stuff!

At least you have a fur coat. Look at Drax.

Oh, quite comfortable.

(GROANS)

Even if the Cosmic Seed is here, how are we supposed to find it in all this?

(WIND WHOOSHING)

I think we're here.

I saw a valley.

(SHIVERS) Let me guess. Another vision?

That is an excellent guess, Rocket.

Although the more likely theory is that Quill suffers from delusions.

I am Groot.

You gotta trust me. We're on the right track.

We'd better be, for your...

Sake.

(GRUNTS)

(BEEPS)

Peter: Temporal scan survey says, Attilan.

See? I told you it was here.

This is it. The Seed is down there.

I am Groot.

Yeah, right. How many times we heard that one, huh, Groot?

Huh. Groot?

(GRUNTS)

I am Groot. I am Groot!

Look, Groot agrees with me.

A family of moon-rats once nested in his brain.

It's, uh, not exactly a ringing endorsement.

(GROANS)

How many times I told you to lay off the fertilizer?

Peter: We've see this before, remember?

When Groot gets close to Cosmic Seed energy, he grows bigger.

Then maybe we are on the right track.

So what do we do if...

When. when we find the Cosmic Seed?

Gamora: We have to put it somewhere safe from Thanos, Ronan, or anyone else who would abuse its power.

Drax: We should return it to Asgard, where it belongs.

Thor is an honorable warrior, and would safeguard it well.

But Thor's brother, Loki, can't be trusted.

And the Seed's been stolen from Asgard before.

Huh?

Groot: Uh, I am Groot?

(SHUDDERS)

Huh?

Um, no, I'm fine, buddy.

So, uh, Quill, you think the Cosmic Seed might be able to...

I don't know, re-evolve my family?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

Gamora: This cavern doesn't look natural, or like it was carved by Inhuman tech.

I wonder what made it.

(CREATURE ROARING)

Rocket: You just had to ask, didn't you, Gammy?

(ROARS)

Okay, that thing was mutated by the Cosmic Seed.

Worms do not get that big.

Drax: On Denekem-IV they are even larger.

And on Oscalla. They do on Redeesa Prime.

Groot: I am Groot.

They don't get that big on Earth!

(ROARING)

(GRUNTS)

Okay, so it can do that.

Well, you know what they say, "The bigger they are..."

Huh?

(GROWLS)

"The easier you are to swallow"?

Gamora: Leave it to me.

Drax the Destroyer does not fear invertebrates.

(GRUNTS)

(SCREECHES)

This thing's pretty much invulnerable on the outside, but maybe we can hurt it from the inside.

Groot, think you can give it a case of indigestion?

I am Groot.

(SCREECHING)

Bon appetit, boneless!

(WHIMPERING)

(BELCHES)

(ALL GROANING)

(ROARS)

I am Groot.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GRUNT)

I think we landed on some kind of safety net.

This isn't a net. It's a web!

(HISSING)

Peter: Yeah, for the record, Earth spiders don't get that big either.

One thing I know about spiders, they hate fire!

You appear to know very little about spiders.

I am Groot!

I am Groot! I am Groot.

(GROANS)

Huh. Guess spiders don't eat Groot.

Lucky it's not a giant termite.

Drax: Indeed. What is a termite?

Biology lessons can wait.

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS)

(HISSING)

(SCREECHES)

(DRAX YELLING)

Drax!

Let him go, leggy!

(ROCKET GRUNTING)

Get away from me, you eight-legged flarg!

(ROCKET SCREAMING)

Come, Nebula.

The fools will lead us directly to the Cosmic Seed.

(GROANS)

I'm alive.

Rocket: Not for long. That thing has us lined up for dinner.

Gamora: I can't move. There's no way out.

This is not a warrior's fate.

Guys, we can't give up.

Not when we're this close to the Seed.

I saw my family.

The Cosmic Seed restored them.

(SIGHS)

I have no memory of my family.

Thanos robbed me of it.

Perhaps the Cosmic Seed can restore your memories, as it will my family.

Does it have such power?

I, I don't know. Maybe.

But let's keep our eyes on the bigger picture.

Uh, as long as we're talking about visions, I, uh, I had one too.

The Seed re-evolved my family.

Aw, isn't that nice?

And you all made fun of me for having visions!

In your face!

(SPIDER ROARS)

Gamora: Gloat later. That thing looks hungry.

(SPIDER HISSING)

(ALL STRAINING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

I am Groot!

(GRUNTS)

(SCREECHES)

I am Groot.

(GRUNTS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Gamora: Nothing will stand between me and the Cosmic Seed restoring my memories.

Drax: Not before it restores my family.

Get in line. I'm restoring my family first.

Okay, like the enthusiasm. Need a strategy.

How about... Look, me and Rocket keep that thing busy while the rest of you slash its web?

I am Groot.

(g*ns BLASTING)

Now!

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(HISSING)

(SCREECHING)

Now, that oughta hold it.

(ROARS)

For about two seconds.

(CRACKLING)

There.

Now, let's go get what we came for.

(ALL GASPING)

I don't wanna jinx it, but I think the Cosmic Seed is in that box.

Hey, guys. Wait!

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

You're all mine!

I'm comin' home, Ma... (GROANS)

I am Groot!

(GRUNTS)

I will see my wife and child once more.

Huh?

Drax: Ow!

Drax: Mine! It is mine!

I am Groot!

(ALL GRUNT)

Guys, knock it off! Thanos tempted me the same way, but these things you want are gone forever.

(ALL ARGUING)

Trying to bring them back will only tear us apart.

(ARGUING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHS)

Ironic, is it not?

Your desire for the Cosmic Seed is the very thing that prevents you from possessing it.

But we do owe you a debt of thanks for leading us straight to it.

Ronan. No.

The Cosmic Seed... is mine!

(RONAN LAUGHING)

With the Cosmic Seed, I shall cleanse the galaxy at last.

Rid it of all its impurities, and restore the Kree to our former glory.

I am now the most powerful being in the universe.

Can't let you take the Seed, Ronan.

And who is going to stop me?

(GRUNTS)

(ALL STRUGGLING)

Goodbye, Guardians of the Galaxy.

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNT)

I am Groot!

We can't let Ronan get to his ship.

Let's make like Jack with this beanstalk.

As in, chop it down. Come on!

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

That's one tough weed.

Uh, no offense, buddy.

I am Groot.

It's the Cosmic Seed energy.

We gotta climb.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Peter: Why you running away, Ronan?

Afraid I'll kick your booty in another dance-off?

Why not dance with a new partner, Star-Lord?

(SCREAMING)

(NEBULA YELLING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Sister, what's happened to you?

The Cosmic Seed has made me whole again.

Stronger. (GROANS)

Faster than before!

(BOTH STRAINING)

(STRAINING)

You know, I have to say there, Nebby, I liked you better with the cyber-bling.

Peter: Gamora!

(SCREAMS)

(GROANS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Ah, you vile tree-beast!

(GRUNTS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

No!

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

Yes! Groot-chute! Oh!

(GRUNTS)

(PETER LAUGHS)

Ronan's too powerful.

We are beaten.

(SIGHS)

I am Groot.

You said it, bud. It's hopeless.

It's never hopeless.

We're stronger together than any family we lost.

We're the Guardians of the krutackin' Galaxy!

Let's kick some booty!

(SCOFFS)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Fools! You cannot hope to defeat the master of the Cosmic Seed!

We do not have to defeat you!

Only distract you.

Seed, schmeed. I got something even better.

Duct tape!

(GROANS)

(MUFFLED CRY)

We'll take that.

No!

No!

(GROANS)

(RONAN GROANS)

(BOTH YELL)

I am Groot!

(ALL PANTING)

Peter: Oh, what's that, Ronan?

Don't have a Groot-chute? That's too bad!

Like we were saying earlier, "The bigger they are..."

(RONAN YELLS)

The more you gotta keep your trap shut until they're down for good!

I will obliterate you all!

Huh?

You were a fool to betray me, Ronan.

Prepare to meet your doom.

Lord Thanos!

(YELLING)

Did you honestly think tossing me into a black hole could contain the might of Thanos?

"Think" is kind of a strong word. Huh?

"Guess," maybe?

Or more like, "totally forgot about."

Now, give me the Cosmic Seed, and your demise will be painless.

We'll fight you to our last breath to keep you from getting the... Hey!

Nice grip, butterfingers.

Such power to create and to destroy!

Thanos will destroy all!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Oh, krutack.