01x10 - The Load Out

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Roadies". Aired: June 2016 to August 2016.*
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"Roadies" is an insider’s look at the reckless, romantic, funny and often poignant lives of a committed group of "roadies," who live for music and the de facto family they’ve formed along the way. The music-infused ensemble comedy series chronicles the rock world through the eyes of music’s unsung heroes and puts the spotlight on the backstage workers who put the show on the road while touring the United States for a successful arena-level band.
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01x10 - The Load Out

Post by bunniefuu »

[Bob Dylan's "Ring Them Bells"]

♪ ♪

♪ Ring them bells ♪
♪ Ye heathen from the city that dreams ♪
♪ Ring them bells from the sanctuaries ♪
♪ Cross the valleys and streams ♪


man: Stop skateboarding!

Did we ever find out who sent that truckload of flowers?

Listen, Shelli, have we figured out where...

There you are. I am flying blind.

Phil left no f*cking instructions for his memorial.

Well, he did leave one little instruction.

He did? What is it? Were you ever gonna tell me?

No, it's fine. It's being dealt with as we speak.

How are you?

How do you look this beautiful?

[laughs] I don't know... I can't even remember if I brushed my teeth or not.

Here. I'll tell you.

♪ Ring them bells with an iron hand ♪
♪ So the people will know ♪


Um... no.

I have to call Lenny Kravitz back.

And Mary J. Blige.

I mean, everybody and their f*cking brother wants to perform for Phil.

That's good.

Harvey.

Hey.

Kelly Ann almost just cost us ten grand again by skateboarding during the damn load-in.

Eh, what else is new?

So let me get this straight.

Lenny Kravitz has called, but we haven't heard from Christopher House?

Mm-hm.

It's a cold world out there, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is it wrong that I'm a little bit relieved that he's gone?

I mean Phil f*cking scared me.

Mm.

He wouldn't have hurt you, Harvey.

I was just scared he was gonna talk me into another one of his schemes.

Phil was f*cking persuasive.

man over radio: Bill, go to two.

So, wait. Phil did leave instructions?

Go for Bill.

Are you gonna tell me what those instructions are?

No. That one's for Gary Clark, Jr.

I feel like you're not listening to me right now.

♪ For the blind and the dead ♪

Really?

♪ Ring them bells ♪
♪ For all of us who are left ♪


Kelly Ann.

Wes. It's a memorial.

You're dressed like you're going to an Elvis party.

[laughs] I dressed for Phil.

This is what he told me to wear.

Really?

Yeah.

He came to me in a dream and said, "Get high and dress the f*cking way you want to dress, and furthermore, I'm coming back."

[impersonating Phil] Son, every cloud you see and ever cord you hear... [clicks tongue] ...I'll be there.

It doesn't really sound like him.

Oh, it was him.

I know it was.

It probably was.

Listen. Is it true what people are saying?

Ugh. Reg and I just got drunk together.

Nothing happened.

Ew, dude, no. I'm talking about Phil.

Is it true that he whispered his dying words to you?

Yeah.

f*ck.

I know.

Well?

Well, I don't know.

I'm trying to figure out what they meant.

I...

I don't...

There you are.

Yeah.

Good luck, man.

Hi.

Hi.

I thought that you'd gone back to England.

No. Phil had some... very specific last wishes, and I've just been helping Bill carry them out.

What were they?

I mean, it's a bit hard to... You're wearing a dress.

True.

You're the most elegant rigger I've ever met.

Well, you're the only rigger I've ever met.

Thank you.

[laughs] Did you really think I'd leave without saying good-bye?

Have you seen Preston?

Who?

Preston.

The Staton-House manager. Preston.

I don't know. What's he look like?

Oh, my God. Have you never met him?

He never shows up.

God, I love this world that makes no sense.

Why do you need him?

Because I f*cked up.

I let my emotions get in the way and I f*cked up royally.

He got what he wanted from me and he's gonna tell the head of Extantion.

And he's gonna try not to pay, because that's how rich people stay rich.

And I never knew that I could f*ck up like this.

And it feels incredible. I f*cked up, and it's such a f*cking relief.

Though I'm sad about Phil dying.

Guys, guys! Donna had a baby...

Or... Laurie had Donna's baby. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Great.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Listen.

I'm gonna go and find Preston, but do not disappear.

Hm. Look at that face.

Um, I think we have to go a little slower.

Yeah, just a little slower, please.

Yeah.

Would be perfect.

Thank you.

Look. We have got to tell this crew that their band is breaking up.

We have to tell them, Shelli.

Oh, this f*cking tour.

They didn't break all the eggs.

They didn't what?

Listen. I do want to be clear... [phone rings] ...about one thing...

I'm so sorry. It's Nicole Atkins. One second. Let me just...

Yeah, I'm here.

Shelli?

One second.

Shelli.

Hi. Just one moment.

I can't talk about this right now...

Excuse me. I'm looking for the production manager.

I'm the f*cking production...

Hey, there, lover.

Sean.

[both laughing]

Wow. Sean.

Wow.

I can't believe you didn't call, or call and cancel.

Oh, Shel. You know, it's Phil.

You only get one Phil a generation.

And look at you. You look amazing.

Ha...

Sean, meet Bill.

Bill.

Sean.

Finally.

Bill Hanson.

[laughing] I feel like I know you.

Yeah. Does she talk about me?

You know what? Not so much lately.

Yes. I do.

I feel like I know you anyway. [laughs]

Man... yeah. I know what you mean.

Oh, man.

Real familiarity there.

I got to hug you. I got to hug you, man.

Come on. Open it up. That's it.

God, I've heard so much.

Yeah, I've heard a lot about you too.

Where you been hiding this guy?

I haven't been hiding. I've been right here.

Yeah, well... Do you work out?

Where do you find the time on tour?

Bill: You actually look like you're in great shape.

Sean: Well, you know...

Bill: You could be, like, an Ironman athlete or something.

Honey?

Can I get you something?

Don't let my incredible surprise ruin your day.

He's always got one up his sleeve.

It is a great surprise.

Great surprise.

Sean: Yeah.

[laughs] I love this guy.

Me too.

If Christopher House wants to speak with me, he can call me himself.

Hey, son.

No more napkins.

I'll right another song. A sequel to "Janine."

Janine II!

f*ck, man. Phil's gone.

Hey. Watch your language.

He ain't gonna hear me.

Are you kidding?

Phil is everywhere.

I'm not even sure if he's dead, man.

Here you go.

You're gonna leave me for another band, aren't you?

No. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'll find you, okay? We'll sh**t hoops and talk about the old days like you ruining Woody Guthrie's guitar.

And Mellencamp blew 50 cigarettes worth of smoke in your child face.

[Winston sighs]

Good times Good times.

Hey, you could teach me how to use your Kn*fe.

You know what I mean?

[imitates knives clashing]

Excuse me.

Are you Wesley Mason?

Why, yes, I totally am.

[giggles]

You're being sued by the city of Escondido for the proliferation of invasion plants, particularly the Lotus Delphi, which, in your absence from home, has taken over a mile-wide portion of a public greenbelt.

By taking these papers, you acknowledge receipt of this subpoena.

Sorry for your loss.

[Boats' "Advice on Bears" playing]

♪ ♪


f*ck!

Looks like she needed time to herself. What do you think?

At this point, you probably know her better than I do.

I wouldn't say that.

No. I'm joking.

Say, Wes, would you mind, if you have the time, grab us a couple coffees, please?

Coffee?

Yeah. Coffee. You know, that beverage that you make better than anybody else?

Wes makes these incredible espressos called "Wes-pressos."

None for me. Thanks.

You know what?

That's a good point. I've been drinking too much coffee myself.

Wes, you can cancel the coffees. Thanks.

Ugh. So, do you want it or not, Bill?

No, thank you.

Jesus. Make up your mind, man.

He's a great kid.

He's been taking Phil's loss pretty hard.

Wes: f*cking sh*t! Seriously, man.

Damn it!

Hey. You know, believe it or not, coffee makes them jumpy.

Sorry... who jumpy?

Sperm.

Oh.

Yeah.

I mean, which may sound counterintuitive, 'cause you want them to be jumpy, right?

But no, not too jumpy.

Too jumpy's not good.

I didn't know that.

I have this incredible app.

You can actually figure out when a woman is ovulating.

That is incredible.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to overshare.

No. Not at all.

But, you know, with my father dying...

Yeah, I'm real sorry about that. That's sad.

Oh, thank you. No, and now Phil?

You know, I've been looking at everything differently.

Yeah.

And I'm finally secure financially.

And we've always talked about having kids.

Like, always.

You did?

Yeah.

Yeah. But it never seemed to be the right time.

You know, but now, you know, I realize...

Why wait?

That... exactly? Why...

Why hold back?

That's it.

You understand.

Yeah. I do.

I'm gonna boink her.

♪ I graduated high school ♪
♪ I bought her a trailer ♪
♪ In a little park ♪
♪ By the side of the road ♪
♪ I could've had the army ♪
♪ I could've had the navy ♪
♪ But no I had to go for ♪
♪ A mobile home ♪
♪ Yes I gave it all ♪
♪ To you, babe ♪
♪ All to you ♪
♪ And that trailer ♪
♪ Too babe ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Whoa-oh ♪

♪ ♪


We're here today to celebrate Phil.

Phil did not like encores.

[audience laughs]

So he loved the way The Who did it.

You know, if you were able to demolish all your equipment, trash the stage, it left absolutely no question as to if the show was over.

It was done. They left it on the stage.

And so I think of this because even if Phil could, in some crazy metaphysical fifth-dimension way, somehow find a way to come return to us and give us an encore, he wouldn't do it.

But it would be such a surprise.

[laughter]

Right, Ella? It would be a surprise.

And I just want Phil to know that... that we haven't left our seats.

No one's left the building.

Come on, Phil. One more song.

[applause]

[playing Pearl Jam's "Man of the Hour"]

♪ ♪

♪ Tidal waves don't beg forgiveness ♪
♪ Crashed and on their way ♪
♪ Father he enjoyed collisions ♪
♪ Others walked away ♪
♪ Like snowflakes fall in May ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And the doors are open now ♪
♪ As the bells are ringing out ♪
♪ As the man of the hour ♪
♪ Is taking his final bow ♪
♪ Good-bye for now ♪

♪ ♪

I married her.

♪ And the road ♪
♪ The old man paved ♪
♪ The broken seams ♪
♪ Along the way ♪
♪ The rusted signs ♪
♪ Left just for me ♪
♪ Oh, he was guiding me, love ♪
♪ His own way ♪
♪ Now the man of the hour ♪
♪ Is taking his final bow ♪
♪ As the curtain comes down ♪
♪ I feel that this is ♪
♪ Just good-bye for... ♪
♪ Now ♪

♪ ♪

You look good. I remember this look.

Now, I know everyone says I'm mean, but Phillip understood the truth: I don't like to waste time.

I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible.

[scattered laughs]

Now, if you're here, he probably didn't dislike you.

Although I can tell you right now he never liked you.

[crowd murmurs]

And I'm mad at every single one of you.

You should've sent him home from the road.

You should have told him what I said, "Exercise. Eat healthier."

Yeah!

I know you think you loved him, but I loved him more.

So shame on you. Shame on you!

Sean: Wow, she's really mean.

Yeah. But you can tell she really loved him.

Ella: Shame on you! Shame on all of you.

To tell the truth, I kind of found Phil insufferable.

I know.

He was an acquired taste.

I mean, he cheated, stole, and k*lled two people.

But he never lied.

[laughs] You got to give him that.

Ella: Let's keep the Phil imitations to a minimum, shall we?

So you're here for Phil, hm?

Actually, we need to go somewhere and talk.

Alone.

So, honey, with everyone dying, there's something I haven't had a chance to tell you, which is actually kind of a big deal.

What's going on?

Wow. I'm actually nervous.

[laughs] What are you doing?

You didn't even get on your knees when you proposed.

I give you the Maldives.

What?

Wow.

Phase one, massages, coconut water, and round-the-clock beach sex till I knock you up.

Phase two, I spoil you silly while you get fat and happy with tits out to here and a little alien inside.

And phase three, we get what we've been working for forever.

A real family.

Life is fleeting.

The time is now.

So... what was it you haven't had a chance to tell me?

Tom asked me to manage the band.

Amazing.

Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Of course, there is no more band.

How'd you know that?

Oh, the whole industry knows.

But the fact that they approached you is awesome.

God, you make me so proud.

[laughs halfheartedly]

You want to get a head start?

During Phil's memorial?

I think that would be highly inappropriate.

Honey, they'll be at this forever.

Come on. We can have sex a couple times.

They'll still be at it.

You are not wrong.

But I have to get to the stage.

Will you please guard these with your life?

I got to go.

To be continued.

Uh-huh.

Just hurry back.

You really surprised me.

Here's a song I wrote for our man in the hat.

Our breath is like the sea going in and out on a beach.

And when it stops, that's high tide.

This is for you, Mr. Valentine, whom I will never, ever forget.

[applause]

[playing "Judge"]

♪ ♪

♪ Losing my face ♪
♪ Losing my friends ♪
♪ Losing my temper ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Losing my place ♪
♪ On the map ♪
♪ Losing my heart ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Losing my genuine ♪

Donna?

I just needed a moment alone.

Me too.

You look amazing.

Why are you here?

I heard you had a baby.

Four weeks before the f*cking due date.

But they're both fine?

Um... yeah.

I've been praying my ass off.

He's so little.

They put him in this thing called an isolette.

He's still in there right now.

Wait. Your baby's still in the hospital?

And... Donna, sweetheart, why are you here?

What do you mean?

I mean, I need to pay my respects to Phil.

Okay, listen.

You need to go back to Laurie and...

What's your baby's name?

Buzz.

We wanted it to be a sound.

Mm-hmm.

Go be with them.

Really? I mean, there's lots of nurses and Laurie's aunt, and it just kind of felt like they didn't really need me there right now.

They do. Trust me.

Just go back.

Go home and hold little Buzz.

And if you need anything, you let us know.

I think I'm kind of, like, in shock or something.

You are.

What's wrong with me?

You're fine.

You just had a f*cking baby.

I just had a f*cking baby.

Mm-hmm.

I love you.

I love you too.

Are you okay?

Uh... no. [laughs]

But we'll talk about that later.

I'm gonna leave right after the tour photo.

Okay.

Right after.

[Bob Dylan's "Abandoned Love"]

♪ I can see the turning of the key ♪
♪ I've been deceived by the clown inside of me ♪
♪ I thought that he was righteous but he's vain ♪


Kelly Ann!

Um... you go ahead and I'll be right there.

All right.

Okay.

How are you? Are you okay?

I've been thinking about you.

Yeah, I'm all right, Natalie.

What did Phil whisper to you?

Because from where I was standing, it kind of sounded like "fellatio."

I'd rather not say.

And no.

All right.

Listen, there's something I want to ask you.

Please be honest.

Did I find it insensitive that you and Rick got married the day after Phil d*ed?

Yeah.

Well, it was a civil ceremony, and the party won't be for months, and not my question.

Will I ever really trust you?

No.

Totally understandable, and you probably shouldn't.

And also not my question.

What's your f*cking question, Natalie?

Are people blaming me for the band breaking up?

Because that sh*t? It's on Janine.

The band is breaking up?

♪ ♪

Phillip Cornelius Valentine.

I'd like to sing a valentine to Mr. Valentine.

[plays Bob Dylan's "He Was a Friend of Mine"]

♪ ♪

♪ He was a friend of mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ He was a friend of mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Every time I think about him ♪
♪ Lord I just can't keep from crying ♪
♪ And he was a friend of mine ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, this is my hiding spot. Sorry.

Me too.

Jeanie Buss brought me up here the first time.

Is that right? It took them a couple years before they showed it to me.

You know, Bill, this was supposed to be a simple winter tour.

Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

Got a lot going on down there.

I sure do.

Got Sean hugging me, telling me about how you two are gonna be starting a family.

He told you about that too?

He did.

He's got one hell of a grip, too.

He had a real Bill Clinton clasp on my elbow and my shoulder.

[laughing] Yeah.

Now, are you up here hiding from me or from Sean?

Desperate times require desperate measures.

All right.

Hey, Shelli.

Shelli, you know Shelli Azoff.

Yes.

Don Henley always says, "This, the fabulous Forum, is the house that Shelli built."

Nice to meet you, Shelli.

Shelli, Shelli.

An honor.

I just came up here for a smoke.

Oh, Jackson Browne is looking for you, Bill.

Okay. Great.

You look beautiful.

I'll be right down.

[playing Warren Zevon's "Mohammed's Radio"]

♪ ♪

♪ Everybody's restless ♪
♪ Got no place to go ♪
♪ Someone's always trying to tell them ♪
♪ Something they already know ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So their anger and resentment flow ♪

together: ♪ Don't it make you want to rock and roll ♪
♪ All night long ♪
♪ Mohammed's Radio ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful ♪
♪ On the radio ♪
♪ Mohammed's Radio ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You know, the Sheriff's got his problems too ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And he will surely take them out on you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ In walks the village idiot and his face is all aglow ♪

together: ♪ He's been up all night listening ♪
♪ To Mohammed's Radio ♪
♪ Don't it make you want to rock and roll ♪
♪ All night long ♪
♪ Mohammed's Radio ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful ♪
♪ On the radio ♪
♪ Mohammed's Radio ♪

Yeah, Bill.

♪ ♪

You know Greg Leisz, right?

Of course I know Greg. Thank you very much for coming.

Good to see you.

Good to see you. Thank you.

♪ ♪

All right.

You know, he used to drive Warren.

You drove Warren Zevon?

Yeah, I used to drive the Windcutter when I was a kid.

Oh, that was a great tour. I heard that was a great one.

Yeah. Spirited times.

Was that the name of the Winnebago?

Yeah, we called the Winnebago the Windcutter.

[laughs]

Had a top speed of 68.

At 69 miles an hour, it would catch on fire.

Yeah, those were good times with Warren.

He was a real good guy. And Jackson was always very kind to me out there when we'd run across each other.

How you doing?

It's going pretty good. Phil left me his g*n.

The p*stol?

Yeah.

It was given to me today.

It's right there in the case, if you want to see it.

May I?

Please.

[laughs]

[strums guitar]

In here?

God damn it.

[laughs]

I don't think it's loaded.

Yeah, it's not loaded.

It's a reference to this event that took place in Barstow where he sort of intervened on my behalf.

He thought I was egregiously under-armed for the situation I found myself in, and he sort of intervened.

Uh-huh.

It was okay. No one got sh*t or anything.

But it might be a reminder to finish the song we started to write about it called "Seven Things to Do in Barstow."

It's kind of like Phil's version of closure.

But I'll let you guys get back to it.

Again, thank you very much for coming.

Thanks, Bill.

You guys sound great.

Let me know if you need anything, and I can stop back by, so...

And I'll go ahead and tell them you don't need security anymore.

Okay? You got it all covered.

[all laugh]

[strums guitar]

The Windcutter...

[laughs]

[plays "Church"]

♪ ♪

♪ Lord ♪
♪ My lord ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I need ♪
♪ Your helping hand ♪

♪ ♪

You know a guy named Reg Whitehead here?

Yeah.

Can I leave this with you?

Sure.

[scanner beeps]

[Gary Clark, Jr. Continues singing, muffled]

Thanks.

♪ ♪
Hi.

♪ That I can't be ♪
♪ No, no ♪

♪ ♪

♪ It ain't me ♪

♪ ♪

Kelly Ann? There you are.

I've been... wait. Is that what I think it is?

Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.

Unbelievable.

So, yeah, I've been looking for you.

I put you down to speak.

Nope.

Yes.

No.

Yeah. I'm gonna have you go on before me, and what I'd like for you to do is just share what Phil said to you in that fateful moment.

You know? His last words.

Word.

Cool. Let's do it.

No. I don't mean "word" meaning "okay."

I mean "word" meaning "word."

There were no last words. Just one word.

Four syllables.

Okay, well, this is not charades.

So, whatever the word was, just share it.

I can't really make any sense of it.

I don't think I should share it.

I mean, was it dirty?

No.

Okay, good, 'cause we have youngsters here tonight.

So, can I count on you?

Mm-hmm.

Well, let me give you a hand.

No. I got it.

You look good, Kelly Ann.

I can't believe that Phil's last gig was a corporate gig.

It wasn't. Phil's last gig was Seattle.

Okay?

Corporate gig doesn't count.

Good.

Bill?

I know about the band breaking up.

And I just can't believe it.

It's so sad.

Yeah, it is sad.

I don't want to go up there. I'll get stage fright.

Do it for Phil.

He never could figure out whether I was...

together: Shelly Ann or Kelly Ann.

[laughs] Kelly Ann.

Right.

He always really seemed to like you.

Do a good job.

man: I'm probably the only person in this room who never called that guy Phil.

But I'm proud to say that I called him Dad.

I didn't see him much when I was growing up.

I remember he came to visit me when I graduated Vanderbilt and he brought The Doobie Brothers with him.

I was like, "Hey, Dad, I graduated."

And there's The Doobie Brothers.

So, the day that I graduated, I got their autograph on my diploma.

There's, uh... [sobbing] ...so many things...

There's so many things that I wanted to say to him, and I never got the chance.

But I realized that even though he's not here... doesn't mean that he's not listening.

This is for you, Phil, and for Vernon and Ella, and all of our road warriors.

["A Little Crazy" begins on guitar]

♪ Walking ♪
♪ Spent a lot of time walking ♪
♪ That's what people do ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Getting over you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Smiling ♪
♪ Did you see me smiling ♪
♪ The whole act just for you ♪
♪ What else can I do? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ People say I'm better off alone ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So I'm trying ♪
♪ Trying, trying, ohh ♪
♪ Please ♪
♪ If you see me cry ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I apologize ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm a little crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy ♪
♪ I'm on my knees ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh I'm on my knees ♪
♪ I know you're over me ♪
♪ And it's driving me crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy ♪

The other night, I found one of the most influential men in my life in front of me.

And he wasn't doing too well.

In fact, he was leaving this Earth.

But he had a smile on his face.

And he beckoned me to lean forward.

And what he whispered in my ear, I have shared with nobody.

But Bill Hanson convinced me to share it with all of you.

And I will now tell you what he said.

He said...

..."pistachio."

I'm not sure whether he meant the flavor or the nut itself, but he said it with such caring that I really...

I knew that it was something important.

You know, one of the strange things about being here tonight...

It's so great to see so many people I know from the past.

It's... it's... in spite of the circumstances, it's a... it's... It's a joyous thing.

But that was the thing about Phil, was...

...he made friends everywhere he went.

He was... he was bringing the people together.

He was bringing people together all the time, and...

He brought us together.

I just met Jess and Holly tonight, and... we get to sing this song.

This was...

This is a song that Phil told me many times was his favorite song.

[strums guitar]

[playing Little Feat's "Willin'"]

♪ ♪

♪ I been warped by the rain, driven by the snow ♪
♪ I'm drunk and dirty, don't you know? ♪
♪ And I'm still ♪
♪ Willin' ♪
♪ Out on the road late last night ♪
♪ I seen my pretty Alice in every head light ♪
♪ Alice ♪
♪ Dallas Alice ♪
♪ And I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari ♪
♪ Tehachapi to Tonopah ♪
♪ Driven every kind of rig that's ever been made ♪
♪ Driven the back roads so I wouldn't get weighed ♪
♪ And if you give me ♪
♪ Weed, whites, and wine ♪
♪ And you show me a sign ♪
♪ I'll be willin' ♪
♪ To be movin' ♪

Hello.

Well, how do you eulogize a guy who, in his younger days, considered anything less than a threesome a waste of time.

[laughter]

Just kidding, Ella. That's a Phil joke, said about other people.

A lot of you here with us are from the Staton-House Band, and I'd like to say that I saw Phil at his peak with my band, and his last lap around was a doozy.

We had a long bus ride the other night, and instead of sleeping, he told us a story about how we choose our bands, the bands we love, and the bands we love to tour with.

And he told a pretty epic tale about his meeting Lynyrd Skynyrd, and his father's bait shack, and his proposal to Ella, and the birth of Vernon.

One thing I've realized about Phil is that he wanted to save people the way music had saved him.

And I think he'd begun to wonder in the last few years, with the way things are going, was there a place in the world for someone who did what he did?

He saved people.

And he always made a point to give a leg-up or a purpose or a piece of advice to everyone that he met and trusted.

And in life, that's a person to be treasured.

And in our business, that's a roadie.

He was old-school and new-school.

He was all-school.

And he will never be gone.

The road is a dangerous place, and it's a hell of a way to lead a life.

There's a body count, to be sure.

There's a lot of loss, and a lot of men and women don't make it all the way.

But I'd like to just add one Phil-ism that he told me on more than one occasion, and that's that, "Even your suckiest day out on tour will be a story that you'll tell later."

And he was right.

And I think he realized, as I do now, that this job leaves a mark on your life.

I spent a lot of time with Phil shoulder to shoulder, and I learned a lot from him.

I think that collaboration means that when you dig deep, where it's dark, you need someone there that you trust to hold the lantern.

And the next time, when they dig deep, you're there with the lantern.

And Phil always had my lantern.

And, you know, now that he's gone...

...I wonder where that light will come from.

Where are those people that, with their last breath, they'll look you right in the eyes and not say "help" or "save me."

We're here to celebrate the person who says, for some reason, with love and mystery, "pistachio."

[laughter]

Yeah. Pistachio.

Change happens.

You get your heart broke.

You hurt.

[Jackson Browne "The Load Out]

Friends die.

You point fingers.

You fight.

You sleep with the wrong person.

You love each other.

You hate each other.

And you write about it.

And you sing about it.

And it touches people.

♪ They waited there in line ♪

And that's what makes a band great.

But now it's good-bye.

♪ ♪

We've got to say good-bye.

♪ I can hear the sounds ♪
♪ Of slamming doors and folding chairs ♪

We don't know how.

We just know we have to.

♪ We just pass the time in our hotel rooms ♪

♪ And wander around backstage ♪
♪ Till those lights come up and we hear that crowd ♪
♪ And we remember why we came ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Now we got ♪
♪ Country and western on that bus ♪
♪ R and B ♪
♪ We got eight tracks and cassettes in stereo ♪
♪ And we've got rural scenes and magazines ♪
♪ And we've got truckers on the CB ♪
♪ And we got our tales of the white buffalo ♪
♪ And we've got time to think of the ones we love ♪
♪ While the miles roll away ♪
♪ But the only time that seems too short ♪
♪ Is the time that we get to play ♪
♪ People you've got the power over what we do ♪
♪ You can sit there and wait or you can pull us through ♪
♪ Come along ♪
♪ Sing the song ♪
♪ You know that you can't go wrong ♪
♪ 'Cause when that morning sun comes b*ating down ♪
♪ You're gonna wake up in your town ♪
♪ But we'll be scheduled to appear ♪
♪ A thousand miles away from here ♪

I can't.

Oh, Shel.

Is it Phil?

No.

You know, if you'd asked me even a year ago...

...it would've meant everything.

But not now. I can't go away with you or have your baby or be married anymore.

Life is fleeting.

You're right.

And I'm so sorry.

I'm not the last person you kissed.

Well, f*ck you, Shelli.

And I'll be taking Jenny Passorelli to the Maldives.

He should.

[Leon Bridges' "Better Man"]

♪ ♪


Hey, Preston!

You made it!

Where's Reg?

I helped too.

♪ ♪

Bill: They know.

Shelli: About the band breaking up?

sh*t. I thought we were gonna tell them after the memorial.

I told them.

You wh...

Oh, you wanted this one?

I'm gonna miss you.

Come here.

♪ ♪

I just always thought that you hated me.

I just suck at compliments.

Oh, my God. Look.

♪ What can I do? What can I do ♪
♪ To get back your heart ♪


Whoa.

Whoa is right.

There's a prom couple for you.

♪ If you'd give me another start, girl ♪

♪ ♪


Where's Sean?

Bill? Bill? Can I have a quick word?

Thanks.

Well, it's all arranged.

What... what's all arranged?

Well, Reg has been instrumental in helping to carry out Phil's final wish.

What is Phil's final wish?

Unique. Unique.

So, Reg, thank you very much.

I really appreciate it.

Well, thank you for appreciating it.

Wow, this is amazing.

Reg, do you like pie?

No. But that's very kind of you to ask.

I'm more of a cake person.

I like cakes. Yeah.

Well...

We got you a pie.

[all gasp, then laugh]

[applause] Yeah!

[cheering]

You look good.

♪ What can I do? What can I do? ♪
♪ To get back your heart ♪


Hi.

♪ I'd swim the Mississippi River ♪
♪ What can I do? What can I do? ♪


[laughs]

♪ To get back your heart ♪

[laughs]

You want to try it?

[laughs]

I have something for you.

[chattering]

[The Brothers Johnson's "I'll Be Good To You"]

♪ ♪


You.

Yeah. Me.

I've been looking for you.

You've really got some balls.

Look. Before you say another word, I know.

I know your actual reason for bringing me here.

I was your patsy.

Well, yeah, but that was before I knew how good you are.

You are a f*cking street fighter.

You are a f*cking genius.

Am I?

The Janine move. That was brilliant.

Using her to break up the band.

What?

Even I was impressed.

That was some world-class sh*t.

Can I smoke in here?

I don't know how much they're paying you in your company, but you're worth twice as much, at least.

Preston, I know you brought me here to prove to Tom that this tour was, in fact, not profitable.

But I still believe that it could be.

No. No. That's not the plan.

This is how it works.

This is how Beyoncé and Rod Stewart and Sting...

This is how they start their solo careers.

They had to cut the deadwood.

But you've impressed me. You really have.

And I hope you don't have to go back to your numbers guys.

Well, I am going back. I'm going back tonight.

I've got a ticket.

Well, that's a shame.

You have such a future in what's left of show business.

Where's the band?

♪ ♪

Tom and Christopher are talking.

What?

Yeah.

They're talking?

Mm.

After all our work?

Yep.

f*ck!

Why did I even fly out here?

My son has porocephaliasis again.

By the way, Reg, you're finished in the music business.

You're more dead than Phil.

Good-bye, Preston.

♪ ♪

♪ Good to you, good to you, good to you ♪
♪ I'll be good to you, good to you, good to you ♪
♪ I'll be good to you, good to you, good to you ♪


[indistinct chatter]

Okay, everybody, let's...

Oh, come on, Bill.

Let's go visit Phil, okay?

Thank you. Just follow me.

Oh, Christ alive, get ready.

I... I have the answer to your mystery.

Which one?

I've got a few going.

My dad... he...

He liked to bet the horses.

And, you know, there's one horse that he liked the best.

He chose her and bet on her early, and then every chance he could get.

She was his favorite.

Her name was Pistachio.

[soft guitar music]

He picked you.

♪ ♪

You got your nickname.

♪ ♪

Yeah.

And it was bestowed.

♪ ♪

I'll tell you this, Phil did not want to be buried in a box.

Now, he just happened to tell us this two weeks ago on the ride to Tacoma.

He said, "If anything happens to me, and that light, that eternal flame, gets snuffed out, I want you to call Mitch in New Orleans."

Can you help me out, here?

[laughs]

And this is just two weeks ago, mind you.

I was there.

Reg was there.

So, as per his wishes, we called Mitch from New Orleans, who is, without a doubt one of the great specialists...

Hey there, Mitch.

Anyhow, shall we?

Yeah.

Okay.

Come on, everyone.

Come on. Let's head on in, g*ng.

Come on in. Come on in, everyone.

Oh, my God.

There he is.

Oh, wow.

[gasps]

Okay...

Aah!

I can't quite fathom...

I thought it would be something weird like an open casket, but this is...

Dude.

I know.

Hi, Phil.

Hi, Phil.

There he is.

Harvey: [chuckles] Look at Phill.

Dude, he wants us to hug him.

I mean...

No. I can't.

I mean, I cared a lot about the guy, but I'm not hugging a dead person.

He looks so life-like.

Puna or Phil?

Oh, it's a unique situation to be sure. Yeah.

Well, I mean, it is pretty much the way I was gonna remember him.

Is he definitely... dead?

He is.

He's not dead.

His spirit is alive.

Yeah, man.

No, he's dead. He is dead.

Phil's a f*cking state of mind, dude.

That's just the body that held him.

Even though he sure looks like he needs a hug.

Yeah, it's been a night of firsts on many levels, but yes, this goes right to the top of the list.

I think I'm gonna faint. I'm just gonna...

Okay, now. Yeah, have a seat, Milo.

Take a load off. Take some deep breaths.

Now... who'd like to go first?

What do you say, Pistachio?

I... I think I might need to work up to it.

He looks sad.

Well, see, that's the thing.

He's not. Right, Reg?

He's not sad.

This was Phil's final wish, to be at the crossroads of human emotion, undertaking, and taxidermy.

And that's right where we are.

Maybe he knows I'm going to prison for invasive flowers.

Oh, Wes, you're not gonna go to prison.

Not while I'm alive.

All these people.

These beautiful lights.

And these musicians and these roadies.

Kids and adults.

We may never see these people again.

This is probably what heaven's like.

Hm.

Copy that.

Yeah.

[Leon Russel's "The Ballad of Mad Dogs and Englishmen"]

Okay. It's time to hug Phil.

Yep.

♪ ♪

Come on in.

♪ Kids ♪

Bill: Get in there, Wes.

♪ Planes, runway strikes ♪

Oh, that's nice.

There you go.

Phil. [laughs]

Come on. He's stuck in.

Kelly Ann?

Aw, that's it.

Yeah.

[overlapping comments]

♪ Bloodshot eyes ♪
♪ Our space captain laughs and tries ♪

♪ ♪

♪ To understand ♪
♪ The scheme of things ♪
♪ And just in time, the scene has changed ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The bus is here ♪
♪ Bring the beer ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Sherman's reading Shakespeare ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Movie makers ♪
♪ Boobie shakers ♪
♪ And Saxy airplane ticket takers ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Union members ♪
♪ Leo Fender's pride and joy ♪

♪ ♪


[indistinct chatter]

Aah!

Oh, go, go, go!

We're gonna miss you!

You're gonna be a great mom.

♪ Incense burners ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Religious leaders ♪
♪ And chronic bleeders ♪
♪ Thieves and pirates ♪
♪ On a ride ♪
♪ It's a hippie commune bona fide ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Life and time ♪
♪ w*r death dealers ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Rock pop correspondence fever ♪


[laughs] Is that you under there?

[Kelly Ann laughs]

Bloody hell.

This is for you.

No. No!

Yeah.

No.

Yeah. [laughing]

It can't be.

Yes.

f*ck.

Yeah.

Uh...

It's my brown leather Fendi.

[both laugh]

It's been through a lot.

Thank you.

Listen...

Wait.

What?

I'm glad you got it back.

It must be really wonderful to have your life back in order.

[laughs]

I know that a lot happened the other night.

Before Phil.

Um, I just want you to know that I remember everything.

Before life and all the other stuff stepped in.

And...

...was there more to say to each other?

Yeah. Yeah, there's more.

Would you like to summarize?

Come with me.

To England?

Yes.

Just come.

I can't.

Why not?

Because I can't just follow someone somewhere.

You followed this band everywhere.

That's different. So, so different.

I know.

[soft guitar music]

I made another film.

♪ ♪

For you.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

[Tim Buckley's "Once I Was"]

♪ ♪


Okay.

Good-bye.

Ugh.

Yeah.

Wait.

Your Fendi.

Oh, yeah.

♪ ♪

I'll take that... I'll take that with me now.

[laughs]

Okay.

Thank you.

♪ And I searched behind your eyes for you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And soon there'll be another ♪

♪ ♪


There you are.

Here I am.

I broke in and stole a beer.

What?

Mm-hmm.

Looks pretty good.

It's pretty good.

Totally worth it. Mm.

So, Shelli...

Bill, I actually...

Let me go first, okay? Just...

Okay.

I'm glad that I met him.

I am. I'm glad.

He's great. I can see that.

He's got everything to make you happy.

Everything that you deserve.

And I have nothing like that, nothing to offer you.

And I want what's best for you.

And I know that he's the better choice.

You're right.

Yeah.

But...

I choose you.

I choose us.

Yeah?

Yeah. I told him I can't be with him.

He went home.

You did?

Yep.

No, Shelli, I meant what I said.

That I can't give you the life that you may want.

And I don't know what's left of this business, and I don't know where I'm going from here, and...

I don't care.

It doesn't matter.

Maybe it did at some point, but...

...the Shelli that Sean used to know, he knew better than anyone.

But now there's a whole new side of her that is totally foreign to the original Shelli.

Like a whole new being, really.

And she doesn't feel right with him.

She has no idea what to do now, but she knows what she can't do anymore.

And she has you to thank for that.

Is that so?

All right.

Now, should I be concerned that you're referring to yourself in the third person like that?

Probably.

That's okay, 'cause all the greats do it at one time or another.

And let me just say this.

Bill Hanson might not have all the answers, but Bill Hanson loves you.

And he has for a very long time.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Know how I know that?

'Cause Bill Hanson told me.

[laughs]

He did.

Yeah?

Yeah.

[Rogue Wave's "Take It Slow"]

♪ ♪


[sighs]

Mm.

Now what?

Well... I'm gonna let you finish that beer.

And I'm gonna go take care of a couple things.

[sighs] All right then.

Chick Hearn should have called this one.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Whoo. Whoo!

Fabulous Forum breeds winners!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

♪ I can tell you stories ♪
♪ If you really wanna know ♪
♪ Living in a secret ♪
♪ It's so hard to let go ♪
♪ You know I try so hard ♪
♪ To take it slow ♪
♪ We take it slow ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You know I try so hard ♪

All right, that's right, smile for me.

♪ ♪

♪ Battlin' the forces ♪
♪ Awake you in the night ♪
♪ Middle-aged divorces ♪
♪ You promised it's all right ♪
♪ You know I try so hard to take it slow ♪
♪ To take it slow ♪
♪ You know I try so hard to take it slow ♪
♪ We take it slow ♪

♪ ♪


[laughs]

♪ ♪

♪ You know I try so hard to take it slow ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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