01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

I...

It's nothing.

(groaning)

Sorry.

Don't wake me again.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I thought I heard something.

Mm, it was nothing. Go to sleep.

Sid, wake up.

I definitely heard something.

Stop. Stop. Oh, Jesus.

What's the matter? What is it?

Shh, shh, shh.

What, what, what do you hear?

I hear nothing.

Shh. I heard a noise.

A noise downstairs.

No, I didn't hear anything.

Well, put your hearing aids in, and then you'll hear, honey.

I don't need my hearing aid. I can hear well enough.

Sid. (rattling)

Don't you hear that? (wood creaks)

Listen.

I don't.

That's nothing.

That's the house settling.

The house settled 25 years ago.

Sid!

Forget it.

Go back to sleep.

You know, you've gotten all nervous tonight.

It's probably 'cause I didn't put the alarm on.

Oh, my God, Sid, there's someone in the house.

No.

There's someone in...

It's mice.

Remember years ago, we had an aggressive mouse.

Go, go down and check, honey.

No, no, I'm not going downstairs.

It's 4:00 in the morning, I'm gonna go back to sleep.

There's somebody in our house, Sid.

Somebody is downstairs in our house.

Oh.

Oh, Jesus.

Listen, you can't...

What if I go down there and there is somebody there?

Well, you... don't grapple with them; don't confront them.

Just come right back up again.

But we really do have to see what's going on down there.

I'm gonna put my hearing aid in.

I'm gonna put my hearing aid on.

I'm gonna call the police.

Don't call the police.

Ah, you know, don't do...

It's not that urgent yet.

(scoffs) You can't hear that noise?

It's impossible.

Oh.

Jesus.

Every time that there's an electrical storm, the phone goes out.

Well, the line is dead.

The phone's out?

Yes, the line is dead.

Jesus.

Now...

Well, I...

Now, Sid.

I don't want to go downstairs.

You know, I'll get my throat cut.

We're being burglarized, honey.

Burglarized, somebody's downstairs stealing our stuff.

So what? What do we got to steal?

Let 'em take it; they'll take the pots, the rug.

Who cares? I hate that rug.

I'll go with you. I'll go with you.

Okay?

What good are you gonna be?

No, no. Look.

I don't know what exactly, what to do.

I am going with you.

Please get the fireplace poker.

Get the poker?

What if the guy downstairs has a bigger poker?

Forget it. You're gonna get r*ped.

I'll get k*lled.

And naturally, just when I'm on the verge of selling my TV series.

And don't resist, you know.

If there's anybody down there, give 'em all your jewelry.

You never got me any jewelry.

Well, well, you never wanted any jewelry.

I got you a wedding ring.

I'm not giving him my diamond ring.

Hopefully it'll be too small for him to notice.

And I'm not giving him the emerald pin that you gave me for Christmas.

The emerald pin, you can give him; it's a fake.

It is?

Yeah, it's a very good fake. It fooled you.

Now you tell me it's a fake?

I showed it to all my friends.

Ah, what's the difference?

You know, I can't that hear well because I don't have my batteries of my hearing aid.

Now, we're getting close, so keep quiet.

Shh.

Be careful.

Shh, shh!

Be careful.

Okay, go ahead.

And don't worry. I'm right behind you.

I'll back you up if there's any conflict.

(whispers) Not so loud.

Oh, my God.

Whoever you are, take her emerald.

I got her an emerald pin for Christmas.

Katherine, Mrs. Muntzinger.

Darlene?

Lenny?

Lenny, yes, Lenny Dale.

Oh, my God.

What's going on? You know her?

I need your help, a place to stay and hide out.

They're after me.

Were you on... You were on the news.

Are you... you're not the woman the police are looking for?

The pigs, the FBI, the fascist gestapo government mercenaries.

Oh, yes, I've read about you in the newspapers.

I mean, you're all over television.

I know.

The fascist propaganda machine is in full swing.

We have no jewels, but you can have her emerald pin.

For Christ's sake.

I'm exhausted. I'm hungry.

I haven't eaten in two days.

What I should do is, I should probably go upstairs, and I should probably change the batteries in my hearing aid.

That way, I'll hear better, but in the meantime, you know, give her the emerald pin, because then she'll go.

Um, I'll be right back, and you two can chat.

Oh, you poor thing.

Jesus Christ.

I don't know what the hell is going on here.

Waking me up out of a deep sleep.

You know, it crossed my mind for a split second when I saw you on television that it actually was you, but the picture was so blurred and it was so dark that I thought, "No, can't be little Lenny Dale."

This is really crazy.

I need your help.

I need to stay here and hide out for a while.

You know, you don't look anything like you used to look, but your expression is the same.

I just remember you as a little blonde cherub.

Who's the old guy with you, the caretaker?

That's my husband, Sid.

That guy?

Is he senile or what?

(chuckles)

Well, I mean, he's having a little trouble with his hearing aids.

In all fairness, you did wake him up out of a very deep sleep.

You marry him for his money?

For his money?

'Cause, you know, that's the price you pay when you pick somebody older, they become decrepit.

I mean, that guy can't even hear.

Can he see? Is he forgetful?

'Cause short-term memory, that's the first thing that goes.

Well, he cleans up well.

And, uh, I can't believe this.

You know, I was there when you were born.

What this?

That's orange juice.

Bottled?

Well, yes, but it's delicious.

It's artificial.

You used to squeeze your own juice, I remember that.

Sid: I'm back.

Isn't that orange juice great?

They put fake pulp in it, you know, so it's exactly like the real thing.

This, this is Lenny Dale.

Mm-hmm.

You saw her on television.

You've read about her, and we even talked about it briefly.

No, I don't recall that.

You see what I mean? They forget short term.

Remember how many times I told you about how her family took me in after my mother d*ed, I had no one, and if it wasn't for them I would have been in some terrible orphanage.

This country doesn't care about the less fortunate.

I mean, this is a nation where they have pay toilets for the public.

That says it all right there.

If you got to go to the bathroom, then you got to pay.

They were poor, but they took me in, and they just saved me from a terrible nightmare.

That's great, you know, but you didn't have to come and break in in the middle of the night, you know, with a g*n at 3:00 in the morning.

You could have called us and just come at a good hour.

He still doesn't get it. The brain cells, they go.

You read the newspaper.

Yeah, naturally.

I'm not talking about the sports and weather.

No, no, no, weather I get from TV.

You know, and I love it on TV 'cause it's...

But I got to tell you, why they tell me that there's gonna be a cold front in Boulder, Colorado?

You know, what the hell do I have to know that for?

I'm here. I'm 2,000 miles from Colorado.

This guy is definitely senile.

The prison break, the sh**ting of the guard, and everyone is after her now, everybody.

The police, the FBI.

Yes, yes.

And I recall it now.

I said she was a menace and that when they catch her, they shouldn't even bother to have a trial.

They should just sh**t her, yeah, and...

She's the one?

She's the person you're talking about from the...

The Constitutional Liberation Army, Lenny Dale.

I get this.

Lenny.

I get it. I get it.

But we should turn her in.

There's bound to be a big reward.

We could use the money to goon our Caribbean vacation.

I am not gonna let the pigs take me, do you hear what I'm saying?

She came here to hide.

Yeah, yeah, great, great, that's fine.

But all we have to do is dial 911.

There's a lot of money involved.

Are you crazy? She's family.

What kind of family? She's a fugitive.

One man's fugitive is another man's freedom fighter.

You blew up a draft board, right?

Our armed forces are dropping napalm on Asian children.

Where'd you get a b*mb?

I make 'em.

You make 'em?

Do you hear this? She makes bombs.

When I was in camp, I took basket weaving.

She's not a common criminal.

No, I understand that.

She's a political activist, and she's ready to die for her convictions.

I know you're defending her, but I want her out.

I want her... Give her...

You know, give her some sandwich, give her, you know, the emerald if you want.

I'm gonna wipe her fingerprints off the orange juice glass.

I'm not a criminal. I'm an activist.

Did it ever occur to you that when you're sh**ting at people that they have families?

I don't sh**t at anyone. I return fire.

And while we're standing here debating the morality of radical politics, there are hundreds of human beings...

Vietnamese children, American boys...

Being b*rned alive, maimed, destroyed, and k*lled in an unnecessary w*r.

I know. It's terrible.

Policy is made in the streets.

The government is the one that's doing the criminal act.

Hey, look, I... Don't tell me.

I know the government is stupid.

I realize that.

You know, Washington does not attract the finest minds, but, you know, they're not criminals, most of them, you know, the ones that aren't caught.

Bullshit. This country's run by corporations.

We're gonna be accessories, yeah, unindicted co-conspirators.

I see prison.

You're babbling.

Get used to it. It's only gonna get worse as he gets older.

Did anyone see you come in?

No, don't worry.

I want you out of here. I want you go...

This is my home. I forbid you.

I forbid it. I forbid...

This is forbidden to stay here.

This is my home. This is my castle.

And you're going into the moat.

Do you got a bath?

No, don't give her a bath.

You cannot use our fluids. You're illegal.

I got some clothes out in the car.

Car? You parked the car in front of the house?

No, I parked in the woods away from the house.

You stopped to get clothes?

I stole the clothes.

Where?

Same place I stole the car, in Pennsylvania.

Hey, I was saving that chicken for my lunch tomorrow.

You know, you can't sleep in the guest room because there's a guest in it, and there's a lot of cartons in the second bedroom, but I guess you could sleep in my office, and you can take a bath upstairs.

I'll get you some pajamas.

No, she's not taking the bath.

You're not getting pajamas.

Sid, Sid, please.

She's a fugitive.

A fugitive's eating my chicken.

Jesus, no matter what I do, I can't go back to sleep.

Her mother d*ed young.

Her father was an actor.

He was blacklisted in the '50s, couldn't get a job.

I guess he drank himself to death.

Christ, the story get worse and worse every time you tell it.

Her grandmother was so kind to me, and her mother did die young, and she d*ed of a brain hemorrhage.

It was just so unexpected. She was the healthiest person.

She ate right. She exercised.

There was no sign of it in her family, no history, no dr*gs, no cigarettes, nothing.

The picture of health, and then one day, like that.

Gee, thanks for telling me that story.

That's just what I have to hear 4:00 in the morning to get me back to sleep.

She's really... She's a smart girl.

She really is.

Yes, but she's...

She's rebellious. She's rebellious.

I know what you're gonna say, but I can kind of admire the fact that she's against the status quo.

Stop it, Kay. She's got blood on her hands.

For Christ's sake, she's got...

You know, all that she can bathe down there, but she can not wash away her sins.

No amount of soap, no amount of water, no detergent, not even Miracle Cleaner, the detergent with chlorophyll, which I did the commercial for years ago, will clean this woman.

She's, she's, she's, she's...

You're having a serious breakdown.

Well, there's a hot car parked right outside in our woods.

A stolen car in our woods.

She's desperate. She's desperate.

She's against the w*r.

She wants social change.

Listen, Kay, we're all against the w*r.

We all want social change, you know.

Yes, but what do we do about it?

Well, if you're asking me, do I sh**t anybody, no, not lately.

No, I'm serious. What do we do about it?

We grouse about the w*r. We keep talking about how there's so much inequality for blacks and so much social inequality, but what do we do about it?

What do we do? Is that your question?

Yes. Yes!

Are you...

Are you saying, "What do we do?"

Yes, what do we do?

Well, shall I tell you?

Can I answer that question?

Yes, before I fall asleep.

May I answer that question for you right here?

Can I tell you what we do? Shall I tell you?

Yes.

Okay, I'm gonna tell you.

We don't b*mb. We don't sh**t. We don't b*mb.

We go into a voting booth. We part the curtains.

We pull the lever, and we vote. We vote. We vote.

You're not even registered.

No, I'm not registered, but if I was registered, that's what I would do.

You haven't voted in the last six elections.

Right, because what is the point?

Because no matter who's in office, the blacks get screwed, the rich get richer, the wars go on. You know, what the hell?

But that's her point.

What is that?

At 4:30 in the morning?

What is that? Oh, Jesus.

That's the FBI. That's the FBI.

No, no, no, no, Allen probably forgot his key.

No, that's the FBI.

Please.

No, it's the FBI. It's...

It's not the FBI. It's Allen forgot his key.

Jesus, Kay, we're gonna go to jail.

This is terrible.

I'm gonna throw my self on the mercy of the court.

I'll say she came in the middle of the night.

She had a g*n. She ate my chicken.

man: Open up. It's the police.

Oh, my God! Coming!

Don't say anything. We...

I just said something. I said, "Coming."

Coming!

If this is about the Policeman's Ball, we have tickets already.

Yeah.

Is everything all right?

Yes, everything is fine.

I don't understand your implication.

What are you implying?

It's probably the headlight on my car, it's broken, right?

I know this, so you don't have to come out now.

No, not at 4:30 in the morning.

They're very dedicated.

Yeah, but what makes you think someone is here?

I mean, if, in fact, you think someone is here.

We don't mean to disorient you, all right?

Just calm down. I mean, we just got a call from the security company your alarm went off.

It was probably when I reset the alarm.

I pressed the wrong button. I...

He's so mechanically inept, he can't change a fuse.

I can't change a fuse. She's right.

I...

I couldn't sleep tonight.

I've been sixes and sevens, so...

I can change a fuse, actually.

I was upstairs asleep.

I had a very strenuous haircut today, so I'm exhausted.

We always set the alarm because we do not want our throats cut.

Okay, but tonight, you didn't.

No, no, no, I was fast asleep when you...

I thought you said you couldn't sleep.

No, I couldn't sleep at first, but then after a while, magical Morpheus descended sprinkling sand on my eyes, and I just went out like a babe.

Okay, well, we came as soon as we could.

Well, so nice of you. Would you like to come in and have a cup of coffee?

That's the best offer we've had all night.

Nah, come on, it's against the rules.

You don't want to break department rules.

You know, they're gonna lose their pensions.

(chuckling)

Oh, we can bend the rules.

Nothing ever happens in this area.

No, I mean, he's right.

It is a pretty safe neighborhood.

And yet, when you least expect it...

You know what? We will come in for a cup of coffee if you don't mind, huh, if it's no trouble.

Thank you.

They're coming in.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Good work.

Kay: Okay.

Good work. Good work.

What are you doing? Are you nuts?

I was trying to appear nonchalant.

I didn't want them to be suspicious.

Suspi... They weren't suspicious.

They weren't suspicious? Are you kidding me?

The way you were carrying on, you would have thought there was a dead body in the freezer.

I mean, really, you were babbling.

Just come in. Come in.

Come in. Have...

Won't you come in for coffee?

You know, they were about to leave.

I was covering for you.

I don't need you to cover for me, you know.

You're not a mastermind.

Don't you understand what would have happened?

They would have gone to the car.

They would have sat in the car for a minute or two.

They would have realized how guilty you sounded.

They would've come back and searched the house.

Oh, great, so... thanks to you, they're in the dining room.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, we figured it was a false alarm, but you have to check it out.

Well, we're...

We live here alone, and we've lived here for 26 years, and we've never had a problem.

Just alone, just the two of us.

It's a very low crime neighborhood, or maybe I should say no crime neighborhood.

I mean, once last year, a woman had her head cut off with a meat a*.

Ah, you can't win 'em all.

Well, and they found the head.

So I read about that. That was...

And then there was a few break-ins where this, uh, homicidal maniac was murdering people and dismembering their bodies.

Yeah.

And down by Pine Street, those two escaped convicts butchered a family of four.

Mm.

With a chainsaw.

Oh, I hope it was an Olympia chainsaw, the chainsaw that cuts through any substance like it was melted butter.

My husband did the commercial for that chainsaw.

And then there was that crazy who was going around lighting people's houses on fire while they slept so they b*rned to death.

But no other crimes around here.

At least there's no jaywalking, you know.

Mmm, this is good coffee.

Kay: Thank you.

(floorboards creaking)

What's that noise.

Who's this?

Oh, I don't...

I don't know. She's obviously lost.

It's our daughter. It's our daughter, honey.

(laughing) You really were asleep.

This is our daughter?

Yes.

Since when?

Elizabeth.

Oh, this is our little girl Priscilla.

So you're not alone.

Our daughter doesn't count. She was a cesarean.

She looks so familiar.

Yes, to us too.

She doesn't look like either of you.

She was adopted.

Adopted, oh, I have an adopted daughter.

She's lovely, but she has some psychological problems.

Ours too.

Her parents d*ed in a tsunami.

Yes, they were covered over with molten lava.

From a tsunami?

Back to bed, honey.

Back to bed. Maybe if I pointed her...

I wouldn't touch her, sir.

They taught us how to just keep away from sleepwalkers.

Oh, yes. Well, go back to bed.

Go... Sweetheart, go back to bed.

Go back... You got to get rid of her.

Go back to bed.

Back to bed, honey.

Who does she remind me of?

To bed.

Pigs.

What?

Pigs.

Pigs... the pigs...

She's having a farm dream.

She's having a farm dream.

Her father raised pigs.

Fascist pigs.

And he was a fascist, so he was a fascist pig farmer.

She's waking up.

Honey.

Go back...

To bed.

(yawning) Where am I?

Who are you?

Sid: These are friends of ours.

Kay: They're here for coffee.

Now go back to bed.

Go back to bed, you little...

Back to bed, honey.

Get...

Here we go, back to bed.

She's...

Is everything all right?

And you gentlemen should be leaving now.

I'm sure the neighborhood is rife with fiends.

Here you are.

Oh-oh.

Sid: Ah, yes, she's always that way, but, you know, with a mother's touch.

I guess I would be that way too if my parents had been k*lled in a tsunami, you know, with molten lava and falling rocks and a typhoon.

Typhoon, it's a small novel by Joseph Conrad, who's Polish, but he wrote it in English.

So, you know, the Poles, they...

(clears throat) Good night. Good night.

Thanks for the coffee break, and good luck with your daughter, you know.

We adoptive parents, we're always taking a risk, aren't we?

It's a bit of a crap sh**t, but, uh, it's well worth it.

You know, I love mine to death.

Yes, as you can see, I do too.

Yeah, all right.

And now out.

She looks like someone I know.

Oh, yes, well, it'll come to you, I'm sure...

With my luck.

Yeah.

Good night.

God, that was close.

It's now officially there.

We're criminals. We've crossed the line.

We're... This is it.

We are?

Yeah, we're harboring a fugitive.

We lied to the police.

I can't think. Really, let's go to bed.

I want her out. I want her out today.

And since it's almost today, I want her out now.

Okay, okay.

I want you to...

Okay. Let's... We're all sh*t.

Let's just go to bed.

I don't care if her family hid Anne Frank.

I want her out.

I hope that policeman doesn't recognize where he saw her face.

Yes, I hope that too, Kay.

And she's such a...

You know...

The sun comes up and she's gone, like Dracula.

Such a young, pretty girl.

I just don't want her to spend the rest of her life in jail.

Meanwhile, we committed a felony.

I know, but it does get the adrenaline going, doesn't it?

I like it when my adrenaline remains at sea level.