01x01 - Of Mice and Men

[bunniefuu]

[man singing in Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Yeah, if I could find it.

f*ck.

What?

It's too cold, man.

Because you're a p*ssy.

That's pretty.

What?

[laughing]

sh*t.

What the f*ck?

[shouting]

Gabriel! Gabriel!

sh*t.

Gabriel. Gabriel. Look at me.

Hmm?

Come on.

[mumbling]

¡Mio!

My God, look out!

[humming, clapping in rhythm]

♪ I'm gonna need someone to help me ♪
♪ I'm gonna need somebody's hand ♪
♪ I'm gonna need someone to hold me down ♪
♪ I'm gonna need someone to care ♪
♪ I'm gonna writhe and shake my body ♪
♪ I'll start pullin' out my hair ♪
♪ I'm gonna cover myself with the ashes of you ♪
♪ And nobody is gonna give a damn ♪
♪ Son of a bitch ♪
♪ Give me a drink ♪
♪ One more night ♪
♪ This can't be me ♪
♪ Son of a bitch ♪
♪ If I can't get clean ♪
♪ I'm gonna drink my life away ♪

[dog barking]

Hey, girl. Come here.

What's up, buddy? How you doing?

Sorry. Slim pickings. The fat guy moved.

I'll try to do better tomorrow, okay?

♪ Son of a bitch ♪

m*therf*cker.

♪ Give me a drink ♪

God damn it.

Hey, assh*le, that's not your f*cking newspaper!

Thank you.

♪ Son of a bitch ♪

Thanks a lot, steamer.

♪ I'm gonna drink my life away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ohh ♪

Ready?

Yeah. Thanks, hon.

Just leave the bottle.

All right.

Thanks.

What the hell are you doing? You aren't supposed to be in here.

Why not?

Well, they could lose their license.

That kind of thing. You know, the little stuff.

They can only lose their license if they serve me alcohol.

If they serve me food of coffee or Coke or whatever, it's completely fine.

Hey, smart aleck, you got any money?

You do.

Plus, you told me it's not illegal for a minor to sit at a bar in the state of California.

You know what?

I'm gonna quit telling you anything.

I try to educate you, and it bites me in the ass every time.

Swear to God.

What's up, honey?

Sign.

You want to read it first?

Well, you handed it to me.

I'm assuming it's not something bad.

Why didn't your mom sign it?

Didn't see her this morning.

It's a trip to go back east to look at colleges.

The school's organizing it.

[scoff]

What grade are you in anyway?

11th, Dad.

Yeah, well...

11th grade.

I remember...

Jesus, are you serious?

Yes. I know, I know.

It's 11th. I'm sorry. It's early.

Ah, besides that, we know where you're going to college.

You don't need to go look at these f*cking places.

I'm not going to Indiana.

Oh, yes, you are.

Nope.

You know... You're not going to Miami.

I can tell you that much.

If you go to a land-locked college, you'll study, okay?

I'm not saying go to Pitt, but I'm saying, you know...

I'm late.

You're going to Indiana, honey.

No.

You know who went there besides the obvious...

Ernie Pyle and Hoagy Carmichael, Lee Majors...

You're right. Those are the obvious.

You like that? Bobby Knight.

Good talk.

David Anspaugh. I could go on and on.

d*ck Enberg, Joe Buck...

I know you could. And you will.

Jane Pauley.

Jane Pauley went to Indiana. She did okay.

Where'd you go to school?

I went to Northwestern.

Northwestern?

What the f*ck are you doing here?

Didn't work out.

I guess.

♪ Oww ♪
♪ Eh ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ It's my turn ♪
♪ I try to find a certain style ♪
♪ To keep my soul from runnin' wild ♪
♪ My emotions got the best of me ♪
♪ I kick and scream ♪
♪ Just like a child ♪
♪ I start boiling over ♪
♪ My feelings catch a flame ♪
♪ I'd be a man, stay a man ♪
♪ But you won't be the same ♪
♪ If you ain't gonna do me right ♪
♪ I might just do you in ♪
♪ Ain't it a sin ♪
♪ Ain't it a sin ♪
♪ Oww ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Ain't it a sin ♪

But he said it wasn't his dr*gs.

Ma'am, they all say that.

I mean, look around here.

All these guys in here, they all say it's not their dr*gs.

But he wouldn't lie to me.

He said they weren't his.

Ma'am, I know your son's a decent boy.

I really do know that.

Look, he's a young guy in his 20s.

He's got a future. We've got to preserve that future.

Am I right?

What's his name?

I'm sorry.

What's my son's name, Mr. McBride?

Listen, if he goes to trial, he could get 15 years, and if the judge...

I asked you my son's name.

I know you're upset. I mean, why wouldn't you be?

It's natural.

You don't even know.

You haven't even met with him since he's been arraigned.

You want to send him away for five years, but you can't even be bothered to remember his name?

I'm finished with you.

I'm going to find someone who gives a sh*t.

Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Patty Solis-Papagian.

Can I give you this?

No, that's all right.

Mr. McBride. Right?

Are you by chance Billy McBride?

Huh? The Billy McBride?

Oh, my God. This is like a f*cking thrill.

Patty Solis-Papagian.

My office is down the street.

It's above the La Fugado, the Mexican place.

I mostly do criminal, but... Is this a good time?

Uh, we can get a cup of coffee.

My office is down the street, or...

Look, I got sh*t to do, okay?

Hey, I got a civil case.

A friend of mine, her brother worked for Borns Technology, and he d*ed on one of their boats.

Exactly. You know where I'm headed.

Your old firm's Big Kahuna client.

I'm trying to sue them, but I don't do civil.

But my friend, she needs some help.

So I sent a demand letter.

I can't even get a return call. f*ck them.

Right? I'm sure you share my sentiment there. f*ck them.

Anyway, they told her that her brother k*lled himself on one of their boats, but she's convinced he didn't.

Now, the boat's insured, so I figured it's gonna settle if I can get their attention, which so far I cannot.

And I figure it's gonna settle for 30, 40 grand, and I'll give you 5 if you can... you just get me in the door, make a call. Do you think you can do that?

Huh?

No, I don't think I could do that.

But I already have the paperwork.

All you have to do is fill it out.

God damn it.

Listen, lady, I'm nervous enough already, and you're a f*cking yapper.

I don't do good with yappers, so...

You don't want to try to f*ck over your old firm?

Really?

Wow.

I would.

As big and powerful as we've become at Cooperman and McBride, one thing has not changed.

We are still committed to serving our clients and our community.

The only difference is the size of our community.

When I first started at Cooperman and McBride, we were a regional practice.

We used to joke that we were the In n Out of law firms: great product, better service, and lower prices.

Today we have over a thousand lawyers in offices across the country and the globe, and revenue last year of $2.1 billion.

We've come a long way in a short time.

And the future has never been brighter.

Our reach has never been greater.

That includes our newest branch office in Qatar.

I know I speak for our founder Donald Cooperman when I say...

[speaking Arabic]

Welcome to the firm.

Welcome.

Say, Frankie, what's the... what's the thing that's half man, half horse?

[exhale] You got me.

Centaur. Centaur. That's what it was.

Hey.

Was she here last night, by any chance?

Who's that?

Our daughter. 16.

5'6", medium build.

[scoff] Smart ass. No, she wasn't.

She told me she was sleeping at a girl friend's house last night.

When I called this morning, the girl didn't know anything about it.

So she's missing.

She showed up at school. She's fine.

So she wasn't with you.

No.

Fine.

Might be a good idea to unblock my calls in case she goes missing again.

Oh, so because I... I don't unblock your calls, somehow I'm involved. What does that even mean?

You f*ck up, let her go missing or something...

Don't you ever get sick of this? I'm sick of this.

Sick of what?

This.

No, not of this.

He was already drunk. I kid you not.

And this isn't me just ripping on my ex.

This was one of the best trial lawyers ever.

How did he look, on a scale of 1 to sh*t?

Not horrible, to be honest.

Did you have something to say?

I was just conferring with my client, Your Honor.

Yes, while I was talking, which I find rude.

Uh-oh.

Was it your intent to be rude?

No. N...

No, Your Honor.

Oh, sh*t.

I thought she was over that.

So did I.

[chatter]

Hey, Lucy.

Hello.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

I got nervous, and...

[sigh] I... I apologize.

No need to apologize.

So the cognitive therapy...

It's going well. I've been symptom-free.

I just... got nervous, and it won't happen again.

Mm.

It won't.

Okay.

Okay.

Lucy.

Come in.

You should know that I've been getting a little feedback that your attitude falls short of what we expect.

Okay.

Uh, who has complained about my attitude?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Uhh.

And while we're on the subject of liberty, do I get the right to confront my accusers?

You see? That question itself reflects a certain attitude deficit.

I don't believe you.

I'm sorry?

That people have complained about my attitude.

This is an employment at will business, and you can fire me on a whim with very few exceptions, stuttering being one of them.

Since it's been categorized as a psych disorder, I'd actually have recourse under the Federal Disabilities Act, and you would be f... f... f*cked.

Okay, I like that.

I wish you wouldn't look at me like that.

I haven't eaten a f*cking thing all day long.

Why don't you go somewhere else to get...

God damn it.

Okay. Come on. Here.

There you go.

They don't let you bring your own food in here.

Oh. Are you Billy McBride?

Yep.

Uh, my neighbor is Patty Solis-Papagian.

Oh, you mean that chatty chick?

[chuckle] She told me you guys talked about you maybe handling my case.

My brother d*ed in a boating accident two years ago.

Yeah, she's a real motor mouth.

[chuckle]

He did, he battled some depression, but he'd never k*ll himself.

He had a son, and he was a great dad.

Plus, why do it on a boat?

It seems like a lot of trouble to go through, don't you think?

Not if the boat's insured.

Three days before he d*ed, he talked about a need to redeem himself.

It's not su1c1de talk.

Redeem himself from what?

The company he worked for had a lot of m*llitary contracts.

It was their boat that exploded, which begs the question what was he doing by himself on a boat at night?

Maybe to blow himself up.

Sorry.

No.

Look, my brother would never k*ll himself.

Something else happened out there, and I think his son deserves to know the truth.

I Googled you, you know.

You did?

Yeah.

It said you used to be a big sh*t.

Hmm. I don't know about that.

Mm-hmm.

Did Google happen to say what became of me? Because I'd love to know.

That you drink too much.

That's not accurate.

I drink just the right amount.

I don't mean to judge.

It's all right. No sweat.

I'm am esthetician by trade.

No sh*t.

Mm-hmm.

And you got a nice face.

Please.

You do.

Considering the booze and smoking and stuff.

Mm.

I don't...

I don't think you're supposed to smoke in here.

I'm not.

Uh-huh.

Ahem.

Done that before?

Yeah, a few times.

Mm-hmm.

What are they going to do?

No, they know me.

Oh, good.

Not that they like it.

But you can't bring your pizza in.

No.

Okay.

[panting]

Ohh! Ohh!

[panting]

[coughing]

Announcer: The west... land of the free, home of the brave.

We've been part of it for 75 years...

Rosie the Riveter steps in when the draftees step out.

... serving our country, building our family, protecting what counts... the men and women of Borns Tech, from the southland to the stars, together.

Ahem.

Good morning.

Hey.

I was just going to go make some coffee.

You, uh, you want some?

Okay.

How about I was going to go on the porch and stare at the sun?

[laughing]

All right. Uh...

Mm-hmm?

So listen, Rachel, I just want to tell you that...

No, no. We don't have to talk. It's okay, seriously.

I think I'd prefer it.

Well, it's just that I'm not very good with stuff.

You know.

You know, you started a big firm, and they didn't take your name off of it, so you must have snowed a lot of people into thinking that you were good at stuff.

Was that on Google, too?

That sh*t creeps me out, that people can know things about you like that.

It's so easy, huh?

Right.

Just that anybody can f*cking know everything about you.

Right.

I don't like that.

Buy you a drink.

If you want one, I'll go with you.

Okay.

The least I can do for a new client.

Well, I'll let you get dressed, then.

Uh...

Ms. Larson? How are you doing?

My name's Billy McBride. I'm an attorney.

You must love it out here, right here on the canal.

W... what's this about?

It's about your late husband.

There's some new information.

I thought you might want to talk about it with me.

What new information?

Rachel, your sister-in-law, she's a client of mine, and she's pretty sure Ryan didn't k*ll himself.

That's not new.

She's been saying that bullshit for years.

My sister-in-law...

Ryan was her only sibling, maybe her only friend.

She can't let it go.

She's a lovely woman...

I'm sorry, ma'am.

I'm having a hard time hearing you.

Do you mind...

Excuse me.

Thank you. Move back.

Sure.

Here's my card just to prove that I'm actually an attorney.

Sorry about the scratch marks.

I recently changed locations.

I'm not some sort of gardener r*pist or anything like that.

You know, I agree with you.

Rachel, she can be kind of out there, but part of my job is client control, and if there's no case, I'd like to be able to go back and tell her that.

There's no case.

Okay.

It's just awfully strange for a boat to just explode just like that.

Isn't it?

Maybe less so when you drop a match into the fuel t*nk.

Is that what you think happened? A match in the fuel t*nk?

It's what I was told happened.

When were you told that?

When?

Right after.

Who told you?

I don't recall.

What was he doing out there at night anyway?

He loved to fish.

Hmm.

They would let him take the boats out.

Sometimes he took our boy.

My husband was a very loyal employee.

They make bombs, and he blew up.

Don't you think that's kind of a coincidence?

I mean, to me it's downright suspicious.

Now, did they happen to give you any money as a result of this coincidence?

What are you doing, Mr. McBride?

I'm just doing my job. I'm trying to find out why a guy like Ryan would k*ll himself in such a weird, loud, messy kind of way.

Uh, it's...

Borns Tech was very good to Ryan.

They've been wonderful to me.

They set up a fund...

What's up, buddy?

... to pay for the funeral.

How you doing?

I'm a friend of your aunt Rachel's.

Stop it.

I'm just talking to your mom about how you used to fish with your dad.

Stop it.

That must have been cool, huh?

You know something about my dad?

This is a private conversation, Jason.

Just go into your room.

Nice meeting you there, Jason.

Listen here, you f*cking weird assh*le, the idea of you and my f*cked-up sister-in-law tearing open wounds to chase some big pot of gold...

I'm chasing the truth, Ms. Larson.

That's all I'm doing.

Bullshit.

Aren't you interested in the truth?

This was a very painful time, very painful.

And I'm not going back there.

Okay? So I think you should go.

Go. Thank you.

I hear you. Okay.

You have a good day.

[line ringing]

You have the settlement conference with the Chancery court at 10.

[clicker clicks]

Davidson board meeting at noon.

[click]

Your plane leaves from Santa Monica at 3.

[click]

Gina Larson called.

Billy McBride visited her.

[chatter]

What's up, guys?

You doing a little night fishing?

Get after those sharks?

We don't do charters.

No sh*t.

The guys up at the tackle shop said you did.

Huh.

Well, we don't.

Yeah? You thirsty?

No, thanks.

What do you want?

Okay, look, I'll just cut the sh*t right now.

The night your boat sank, you told OSHA that it was calm, there was an expl*si*n, and a wave sank it.

That's a load of f*cking horse sh*t, and you know it.

Man, what do you want?

You got a computer? Look it up.

Explosions on a boat can sink them, like a torpedo or whatever.

Explosions near a boat can sink them, too, like a mine putting a hole in the hull, that kind of thing.

But it would g*dd*mn near take a nuclear b*mb to make a wave big enough to sink a boat.

So either you're a hell of a lot closer to that expl*si*n than you told OSHA, or you're lying about what the f*ck happened.

You calling us liars?

Yeah, I am.

Why do you got to f*ck with us?

I don't got to f*ck with you.

But I got a feeling the insurance company would be pretty pissed off if they knew you lied to them.

So you got a kitchen or a cabin or whatever you call it on this rig?

Let's go drink some beer.

Come on. It's free.

What are you waiting for?

Let's go be pals and sh*t.

You guys have yourselves that beer. It's for you.

I'm a lightweight. I'm not much of a drinker.

Thanks a lot.

But, uh, you know, I got to say I'm still just a little bit, uh, in the dark about all this sh*t because you're saying that there's flaming sh*t and the boat didn't sink, the boat did sink.

There was a wave, there wasn't a wave.

I don't know. So the boat didn't sink.

Listen to me, okay?

It sank.

It did sink.

Yes.

But it also b*rned up, man.

Would you just tell him, please?

You talk too f*cking much.

Okay, I'm still confused.

You told the insurance company that the boat didn't sink, that the wave had nothing to do with it.

No, but the... Look, we told them there was a big wave, right?

But then all this flaming sh*t started hitting the deck, man.

All right? And that sh*t was hot.

I'll bet.

And the insurance company didn't ask you where the fire came from or what it was or anything?

We told them about the expl*si*n.

They figured it came from that, but they didn't ask about it, no.

And you didn't think that was weird?

What's weird? Huh?

Why did Borns Tech's insurance pay you off?

Why not your insurance?

We didn't have any insurance.

Would you shut the f*ck up?

It's true.

Look, man, the insurance guy spent maybe ten minutes talking to us.

Next week we had the check.

That's it.

Come here a second, guys.

Ten minutes, huh?

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

Well, that's what's weird.

You see, insurance companies make their money by not paying you.

I mean, hell, they don't even want to pay you when they owe it to you.

And here they just wrote you a f*cking check, just like that.

Yeah. They could afford it.

Yeah?

Plus, we were entitled to it.

Thank you.

Hey, Nicole.

You can go right in.

Everything okay?

You can go in.

♪♪ [man singing opera]

[clicking]

[elevator door opens]

[click]

Donald. You asked to see me?

[singing stops]

Do you remember Leonard Letts, general counsel in Borns Tech?

Yes, of course.

Your ex-husband went to see Gina Larson yesterday.

Okay. I give up. Who's Gina Larson?

Like you don't know.

I don't.

Widow of Ryan Larson, one of our employees who d*ed in a boating accident.

What do you know about this?

Nothing.

Your ex is circling his wagons to sue your biggest client, and you have no f*cking inkling?

Excuse me?

Are you always this unflappable, Leonard?

This is a DOD contract.

If Wall Street gets wind of even a potential claim, a core descent decline in stock... that's a billion-dollar-plus...

[clicking]

If he does file a claim, it'll be wrongful death.

Let's begin drafting a response.

[chuckle]

Have the mouse write it.

Really?

Who's the mouse?

She's our best drafter, and fast.

On paper.

She's also a second year associate We have better, more experienced people...

[clicking]

I asked for the mouse.

[click]

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Me? Y...

Donald Cooperman asked for me specifically?

We haven't been sued yet, but we want to be ready in case they file.

And throw in a counterclaim for abuse of process, malicious prosecution, whatever you can think of.

The idea is to rip this guy a new assh*le and make him think twice before ever suing us again.

That's actually not the idea.

Do not hold back, do you hear me?

I want a shock and awe sh*t show.

Should this man sue us, he needs to regret it.

You okay?

Am I okay? This is awesome.

Great.

Enjoy.

Ohh.

It's good. It's part of my whole, like, spiritual journey, you know?

I've got a guru. He's not really a guru.

He's also a hairdresser, but he's really, like, kind of deep and intelligent.

Excuse me. Miss Gold?

Uh, Lieutenant Stone Phallus with the LAPD.

I'm going to need to talk to you for a minute.

Thank you, sir. Uh, Miss Gold...

Oh, hello, Detective Phallus.

How are you, honey?

I'm great. How are you, Billy?

Not bad. Sorry I chased your prey off there.

Oh, don't be sorry. I'm just paying my rent.

Hey, listen, I got a case, pretty big case, and, uh... Come on, honey. Just hear me out.

I really need you on this one, okay?

I just need some help...

Billy. Billy!

... with the pleadings and so forth.

How long am I going to be on the hook for this?

Look, can... can I just... can we go upstairs?

I can give you a couple of blow jobs, and then we'll be even.

You sh1tting me?

The sentence they were going to hand down to you.

You're going to need a whole lot more than two blow jobs, okay?

Besides that, this is a pretty good case here, and you're probably going to get paid.

Really?

Yeah. I'm serious.

Mm-hmm.

Good legal help's hard to find.

Blow jobs are easy. Come on, honey.

Please?

Okay, a couple days.

Yeah, we'll figure it out.

You promise?

We'll figure it out.

Can we just go upstairs for five minutes?

I swear to God it'll be really great.

We can take a bottle...

I don't need that.

Authorities believe a malfunction in the boat's fuel line may have triggered the blast.

A number of folks have called 911, concerned that there was a plane crash or t*rror1st att*ck.

The victim, identified as Ryan Larson, is survived by his wife and young child.

There were no other injuries or vessels involved.

So far there are no other details.

You.

You m*therf*cker.

I send you a bona fide referral, and you f*ck her?

You want to hold it down? We're in a public place.

I want to b*at the sh*t out of you right now.

Wouldn't do any good.

I've had the sh*t b*at out of me a lot of times.

I just replenish with more sh*t.

I'm sorry. Do you think you're funny?

This is like Ethics 101: f*cking clients.

Did you want something?

I don't want anything at all.

Should I report you to the Bar?

That's been done, too.

You really are an assh*le, aren't you?

Yeah, maybe so, but let's focus on something productive here.

You sure you don't want anything?

Please worry about yourself.

I think your friend has a case.

I went and saw the dead guy's wife.

Really?

Yeah, really.

She's hiding something. I'm sure of it.

I think there's a bigger picture here.

I... I don't care about the bigger picture or secrets or... or who's sleeping with who, unless it's you sleeping with Rachel because that sh*t really pisses me off.

All I care about is getting a settlement for 30 grand, which, when I get, you get 5. Okay?

No, no, no. No.

No. Don't look at me like you're gonna be f*cking me.

Okay?

Because I'm not a fuckable person.

Somehow I don't doubt that.

[chatter]

I like that.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fun.

[buzzing]

No.

No, just file the papers tomorrow.

Yes. That will be fine.

Okay.

I appreciate it.

Thank you so much.

f*ck. What are you doing here?

I think I kind of broke your gate a little when I came in. Sorry.

What?

What's up?

Where's Denise?

She's at tutoring, I think.

What are you doing here?

So I guess you're not gonna invite me in.

Come on. I'm so tired.

What do you want?

Borns Tech, are they good guys or bad guys?

Neither. They're clients.

We don't divide up between good guys and bad guys.

Well, I got a case against them, so that means I got a case against Cooperman & McBride.

Heard anything about it?

Don't ask me that.

Well, today I went out to see a witness on this thing, and, uh, had to take an Uber over here because somebody dumped fish guts all over my car.

Jesus. Why?

That's a good question.

So nobody around your shop's mentioned my case?

Oh, please.

Not even the Crypt Keeper, huh?

Come on.

The sh*t on my car smells like a f*cking fish farm, okay?

I just want to know if Cooperman had anything to do with it. Did he?

Of course he didn't.

You've got to stop.

But you also need to be careful.

Come on, Billy. Just listen to me.

Donald Cooperman would love nothing more than to destroy you.

Hmm.

Don't give him that chance, okay?

Please? Please.

Just so you know, I got a case, and I think it's a pretty damn good one.

Okay.

Good night.

You know, it's f*cking freezing out here.

Go home.

Sure you weren't drunk and, you know, hit a dog or something?

God damn it, Frankie, I already told you I didn't run over anybody, okay?

Don't be an assh*le.

Why would somebody dump fish guts on your car?

f*ck if I know. I guess they thought it was funny.

Do you think it's a thr*at?

No, I think it's a sign of respect.

Of course it's a f*cking thr*at.

You're a fucker.

Come on, honey. Quit licking that sh*t, would you?

Stop it.

This says helicopter accident.

I told you it's just a go-by.

Wherever it says "helicopter," just replace it with "seafaring craft" or "water vessel," whatever the f*ck it is.

Are you serious?

They're both wrongful death cases.

[knock on door] Just change the names of the parties...

Patty: Hello.

... from "chopper" to "boat," and I'll fill out the one-page form attachment.

All right.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Hey.

Patty, uh, Solum-Beige or something.

It's Solis-Papagian. Hi.

Uh, Brittany.

His staff.

Oh. Okay.

God, this is a great place.

No, I'm serious. With this light.

Man, if this was a condo, I could sell it like that.

I occasionally... I sell real estate in the... in the Valley.

So, uh, how are we doing with the complaint?

We can kind of use some help.

So far we're suing a helicopter company.

Okay.

Uh, would you like to take over?

No, no, no, no, no. I don't do briefs.

It's just a complaint.

I do not do those, either.

So...

Well, this is going to be great.

You said she was going to handle the motions.

Who said that?

You said that?

Dude, I don't do civil cases.

I told you that.

I suck in court.

Jesus Christ. Glad I haven't quit my day job.

Okay, what do you do?

Go ahead. Tell her. I don't give a sh*t.

Counseling.

What? I can't... Look, why... why are we even bothering with a complaint?

We have two witnesses. We have a demand letter.

I mean, it's time to settle.

You know what?

Let's go.

This is not a real estate deal. It's a court case.

So either be a f*cking lawyer, or don't be one.

You know, go out to f*cking Santa Clarita and sell doll houses.

Ooh. Okay.

Ahem.

It was filed?

Yes. 35 minutes ago.

His writing hasn't improved much.

[clicking]

This is a f*cking disaster.

Do you know any other word but f*ck?

Mark up the motion to dismiss for tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Make an end run notice.

Who's going to argue, stutter girl?

You know what? Shut up.

Did you just tell me to shut up?

Callie Senate.

Callie? No. I don't think so.

She's more business litigation and stock fraud.

This case lies in tort.

I want Callie to argue this.

Donald, come on, please.

You know Callie is one of my best friends.

This would be very awkward.

I'd like Callie to argue it.

Please.

[chuckle] She'd be a good match for Billy.

Hey.

Hey.

You got the big nod.

Congrats.

Thanks, I guess. It's weird.

I'm sure Donald instructed you to extract a pound of flesh.

Well.

Of course.

Just do me a favor and don't humiliate Billy.

You know? He is what he is.

I am just going to try the case.

Okay. Good.

Patty: I don't give a sh*t. They need it furnished.

Yeah. That's what she said.

Uh-oh.

Same to you.

What's wrong?

Yes. Same to you.

assh*le.

Oh, nothing is wrong.

Just got this.

"Motion to dismiss tomorrow"?

Yeah. That's what it says.

Don't they have to give notice?

They filed it ex parte. It's no big deal.

They're just f*cking with us.

Okay, so now what? We're going to settle on the courthouse steps or something?

Eventually we'll have to argue it.

Right. And by we, we mean you, correct?

Well, considering the alternative, yeah, me.

No offense.

So, uh, you don't have to be there tomorrow if you don't want to. I mean, a civil case and you don't have to come to every little hearing, but it would be nice because it would show the judge you give a sh*t and all that.

Yeah. No, I'll be there. I'll definitely be there.

Okay.

That's Ryan.

It's a baby picture. Little baby Ryan.

Yeah.

His son looks just like him.

Really?

Oh, yeah. I can see the... see the resemblance there.

You all right?

Want me to make it Irish?

No. Better not, honey.

Uh, thanks, Frankie.

You want anything?

No, thank you.

Is this, like, a lucky ring or something?

It's just my class ring, college ring.

Haven't I told you when I went to Indiana?

I was a Hoosier.

I don't think you did.

My dad wanted me to go to Alabama.

He wanted me to play football for Bear Bryant.

I said, "How the hell am I gonna play football?

I weigh 136 pounds. "

I was a baseball player.

My dad thought I was a p*ssy for playing baseball.

It was either football or nothing for him.

Right.

And, uh...

And look at you now.

[laughing] I love it when you...

Yeah. Big lawyer.

Yeah. I'm... something else.

♪ You ♪
♪ You and me, baby ♪

[sports announcer on TV]

Welcome to Indiana basketball.

Welcome to Indiana basketball.

[knock on door]

[knocking]

[knocking]

[knocking]

Okay, God damn it, I'm coming.

What the hell are you doing here?

Were you asleep?

I wish. I got court tomorrow.

I can't sleep for sh*t.

I need a place to crash.

Why?

Mom and I got into a fight.

If you don't let me stay here, I'm just going to spend the night with a guy I'm seeing.

You're something else. Come on in.

Why can't you sleep?

You nervous about the case?

No, I got hooked on Hoosiers.

I've seen the f*cking thing 300 times.

Every time, I'm nervous as hell they're going to lose. I don't get it.

I keep screaming at Hackman, "Please don't get thrown out of any more games."

Have a seat, honey.

What's Hoosiers?

Thanks.

Here you go, baby.

I'm not sleeping with the guy.

Yeah, I know.

How do you know?

Okay, I don't know. Does that make you feel better?

What do you want anyway?

You suck.

So you want me to ask you questions about the guy you're seeing? Is that it?

You know I'm not going to like him anyway.

Hi, baby. What's going on?

She's my pal. Don't worry.

She's not mean. She's just hungry.

There you go, sweetheart. God damn.

Took my f*cking hand.

See you. Go get going. Get going, baby. Now shoo.

Go, go. Good dog.

Mom said you're in court tomorrow against her firm.

Yep. That's right.

I guess I ought to call her.

She's probably worried sick about you.

I miss you.

I'm around.

You ever coming back?

I don't think so, honey.

Who are you calling?

Uber.

I'm going home.

I'll drive you.

It's okay.

Just put the phone away.

I'm not letting you get in a car with a damn Uber guy, some m*rder*r.

Your mother would never forgive me.

Well, you never know, okay?

Come on.

Did that dude just take a picture of us?

It's probably a paparazzi.

Thinks we're somebody.

This boyfriend of yours, what does he look like?

[camera shutter clicks]

That's not him, Dad.

Come on. Mom should be rip sh*t by now.

[shutter clicks]

Listen, I got a short window here, so I'm going to get straight to the father-daughter sh*t, okay?

This guy you're not sleeping with better be wearing a condom.

Dad. Gross.

Okay, never mind.

It's just that there's a lot of diseases out there, and then if you get pregnant, you only got two choices.

Both of them can mess you up pretty good.

I mean, it's not like, you know, adopting a puppy versus having a root canal.

My God.

And I'll skip the substance abuse lecture, because you know firsthand what that's all about.

Thank God.

[police siren blares]

Ah, sh*t.

Dad, have you had anything to drink tonight?

No. We're good.

Do you promise?

Yes, I said we're good, all right?

Haven't had a drop.

How are we doing tonight?

License and registration, please.

All rightie.

There's the registration.

There you go.

Step out of the vehicle, sir.

Can I ask you why you pulled me over?

We didn't get to that part yet.

Now, sir.

Okay, but...

Thank you.

Just for the record, I asked you why you pulled me over, and you couldn't tell me.

Stay in the vehicle, ma'am.

Sir, have you been drinking tonight?

No, sir, I have not.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you, but I'm an attorney. so I have a pretty good knowledge of the law, and unless you tell me why you're f*cking with me, this could constitute an illegal stop.

At this time, I'd like to ask you to participate in a sobriety test.

Okay, I'll take your damn test, but as I told you before, I'm as sober as Bill Dudley.

You need to tell me why you f*cking stopped me because I wasn't doing sh*t but driving between the lines.

Sir, turn around and put your hands behind your back.

Come on. That's my daughter there.

Do we have to do this? Seriously?

Did a little bird whisper in your ear?

Who told you to stop me?

Turn around.

Smells like sh*t.

I saw your f*cking mouth breather scoping me out back there.

You can be a...

Dad!

f*ck!

[taser zaps]

Fucker!

[laughing]

You stinker!