02x02 - Juan Likes Rice & Chicken

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Documentary Now!". Aired: August 2015 to present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


"Documentary Now!" spoofs celebrated documentary films by parodying the style of each documentary with a similar, but fictitious, subject.
Post Reply

02x02 - Juan Likes Rice & Chicken

Post by bunniefuu »

Good evening. I'm Helen Mirren, and you're watching "Documentary Now!", season 51.

George Bernard Shaw famously said, "There is no sincerer love than the love of food."

At a small restaurant in the hills of Colombia, that love is in full bloom as captured in the film, "Juan Likes Rice & Chicken."

Look, you know, I've... I've been to Noma, and I've been to elBulli, and I've been to all of Robuchon's places, but there's no restaurant like this anywhere in the world.

I write guidebooks about South American restaurants.

And... every year I travel the continent looking for something new, yet I always find myself back at Juan's Rice & Chicken.

It's shocking how simple it all is.

There is a consistent, simple, set menu.

To start, a cup of warm coffee, followed by a banana split perfectly in half.

Then rice with a little bit of butter, and on most days, chicken.

Most impressively, it's the only three-star Michelin restaurant I know of that's a 40-minute walk from the nearest road.

We've been so excited ever since we read about Juan on Chompzilla.

See, we love the way good food tastes.

But what we really love is authenticity of style and honesty of preparation, so this is a really big deal for us.

We should have brought water.

Well, that wasn't on the reviews.

Yeah, I know.

I'm gonna comment on that.

Juan has the eyes of a man who knows exactly what he is doing.

And Arturo has the eyes of a man who is thinking, "Am I doing this right?"

Something I always hear is, "What's going to happen when Juan retires?"

Now, historically speaking, when a great chef retires, the restaurant closes.

You know, I... I don't know if Arturo could... could take over for Juan.

Juan's Rice & Chicken, you... you couldn't believe that something so simple could taste so deceivingly complex and delicious.

I mean, how the hell do you take four ingredients and translate that into three Michelin stars?

I mean, it's superior technique.

Gracias.

Senor, gracias.

The chicken?

No... Nope?

No?

No.

Pollo. It's pollo.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Gracias.

Thank you.
We're talking about a man who is 80 years old and yet every day goes to the farm and picks out the chicken he wants.

And then he has the farmer take the chicken and set it in a pen, at which point, Juan gives himself exactly five minutes to catch the chicken.

If he catches the chicken, there is chicken on the menu.

But if he doesn't catch the chicken, he believes that fate has spoken and wants the chicken to live.

This is the biggest fear about Arturo... that he will change this process, because Arturo... is afraid of chickens.

All chefs work hard, okay?

But Juan has sacrificed his entire life for his craft.

I mean, do you know this?

He hasn't missed a day of work in 35 years.

He's had three heart att*cks, and each time, he toughed it out and didn't go to the hospital until the last customer left.

And the next morning, he checked himself out of the hospital.

Five years ago, Juan's wife left him for their neighbor.

Two years later, he ran into her in the street and he said, "Where have you been?"

He hadn't even noticed.

So for Juan, it is impossible to accept anything less than a life's commitment.

Okay.

You know, they call a man who is afraid a chicken.

So what do you call a man who is afraid of a chicken?

I mean, can you even call him a man at all?
Post Reply