03x08 - Sly and the Family Stone

[bunniefuu]

Walter: Previously on Scorpion...

I want to know who this fella is.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Sylvester.

What kind of man are you?

The kind of man that's been caring for your daughter.

Cabe, you need a place to crash for a couple weeks, right?

As of now, Happy's apartment has a vacancy.

I am running for the 16th district alderman of West Altadenia in the local upcoming election.

Mr. O'Brien, welcome to America.

Happy and I can get married.

I'm not pregnant.

Sylvester: Caitlin, Megan, Molly, Cousin Ian, Uncle Tobin, Uncle Sean, Great Grandpa Sean, Sean the third.

There's a familiar sourpuss.

I have all the names down.

So, I'll know everyone on sight, so we can dive into this Pattern Day ceremony without any...

Pesky social awkwardness?

You are brimming with anxiety.

I'm trying to make a good impression.

These people are my relations.

By marriage. They're mine by blood.

And-and trust me, you're expending great effort and energy on people who may not return the favor.

Blessing Megan's cenotaph is-is special.

This Pattern Day i-is important to me.

Cabe: Not clear why they call it Pattern Day.

Patterned after what?

Pattern is a corruption of the word “patron,” as in “patron saint.”

You could Google it.

I like to practice my human interaction.

(whispers): It's a valuable skill.

Walter: Blessing a rock with Megan's name on it-- it's-it's not special.

She's not even there. She's in space.

A cenotaph is a lovely remembrance.

It's an honor to be invited.

I couldn't agree more.

And since Sly's obviously nervous, why don't you help him out a little.

Give him a rundown of what to expect.

Okay.

So, you can expect my father to be my father; my mother, the same; and then my Uncle Tobin, my mother's brother, he will snort at you and grumble about the w*r.

Which w*r is anyone's guess.

And then Thomas and Conner, my childhood neighbors, are unlikely to have changed from their formative years, which were spent perfecting the wedgie and the... sweaty.

Never heard of a “sweaty”"

Yeah, you don't want to be on the receiving end of one.

Walter: I will wager that Tim is the one who's most likely to be embraced.

Why me?

Because to some, the ability to lug multiple grain sacks from a storm cellar is impressive.

Knowing pi to the 34th place is not.

You have seen your parents since Megan d*ed, and they watched you do amazing things that day.

Maybe they passed it along to the family.

Doubtful.

N-Now, I'm busy.

Excuse me.

I am developing a revolutionary app.

It maps items in a grocery store and it cuts down annual shopping time by half, so that averages to 26 hours a year per adult.

It's efficiency.

Tim: Yeah, when I want something at a grocery store, I usually just ask someone who works there.

Yeah, but with this, you won't have to talk... to anyone.

Right.

This is what happens when you don't interact enough.

Is this what you were referring to by the psychiatrics rule of three?

Explain.

Well, when issues arise, first time it's a concern, second time it's a problem, third time it's a pattern.

Walter created a canoe-shaped hot dog, a heavy lead hat for children...

My vertebrae are still throbbing.

...and now software that is easily outwitted by your average stock clerk.

So flustered that Paige chose a regular guy that he's trying to solve regular guy problems to prove he's regular, too, but he's flailing. Bad.

He needs to realize that Tim's not a bad person.

Then maybe he'll relax.

Exactly.

You know, if Walt actually liked Tim, saw in him what Paige saw, he'd realize that she made the logical choice and he'd stop trying to win her.

Problem is...

Walter and Tim, they-they kind of hate each other.

No, no, they don't need to actually like each other.

They just need to act like they do, and the mind'll take care of the rest.

But how do we get them to act like friends?

Friends have things in common.

What's the one thing they both like?

My mom.

Hey, Tim, my mom's worried without protection Walter may face further abuse in Ireland.

Like sweaties.

And you want me to protect him?

It would comfort Mom.

Walter's mental health is paramount to a well-functioning Scorpion.

And no one will bother him if he's hanging out with a Navy SEAL.

(chuckles softly)

That is true.

So, Tim's Homeland Qualification Exam is coming up.

And there is a logic and problem-solving portion.

If he fails, he could get bounced from Scorpion.

I'm not sure I'd shed a tear.

But Paige would.

I mean, their relationship will fade over time, but if it's prematurely torn in two, the mind categorizes it as unrequited.

“What could have bee” can just linger forever, along with a resentment against you, if she believes you could've prevented the heartbreak.

How do I help him out?

Pal around with him in Ireland.

If you see an opportunity to coach him in logic, statistics or efficiency quotients, answer him like you're his friend.

Not for him. For Paige.

Time to boogie if we're gonna make that flight.

Ralph, get your backpack.

We're gonna drop you on the way.

I don't get why I need a sitter.

So you don't blow up a city block.

You left without taking this again.

You two enjoy your chelation treatment.

Yeah, fun. I'm hooked up to an I.V. draining cadmium from my body.

I wish I'd never tried to make those solar panels.

All I got to show for it is a false pregnancy, heavy metals in my blood and a missed trip to Ireland.

It's bacon, ham and sausage?

That's a lot of pig.

He makes me one every morning.

It's a heart-att*ck-wich.

I can't wait for his house to get fixed up and he can go home.

Just hanging around him, I feel like I'm getting older.

This morning, I asked where my dungarees were.

In a week, you'll call them slacks.

Cut him loose.

He's been alone for 20 years.

He's desperate for company.

Last night, we played cribbage until midnight.

My baby's got a heart of gold.

(shouts)

My subclavicular nerve ending.

Just shut up and clean my blood.

(sheep bleating)

Oh, here they are.

All right, here we are.

Sean: Oh, there he is!

(laughs)

Sylvester, wonderful to see you.

It's been too long. Too, too long.

What a pleasure, Sean.

And Louise, you're as beautiful as ever.

(chuckles) Ah, you're the sweetest boy alive.

He says that to me every time we video chat.

Walter.

Mother.

Father.

Good to see you.

So, you stay in touch with them?

Occasionally.

They're family.

Tobin: Well... there's a mad bastard if I've ever seen one.

Oh, here it comes. “The damned w*r”

There's no way you b*at this ancient grenadier at Words With Friends unless you cheated.

How else would a man know how to spell “opacifying”?

Well, it's easy if you've memorized the dictionary.

I wished I lived in West Altadenia.

I'd vote for ya, Alderman.

(chuckling) Thank you.

He's friends with all of them.

(laughs) He seemed to, uh, reach out and make an effort.

Sean: Good.

Well, honored to have you all here.

Enjoy yourselves.

We'll be, uh, we'll be starting the Pattern Day observance soon.

Sylvester, you might want to peel away there first and take a look at the condensation catcher we built after you sent us that article.

What's this?

It's provided the farm with much needed water.

We're in the middle of a year-long drought and now a heat wave.

Absolutely-- which I predicted.

A-And I sent you plans for a condensation catcher three years ago.

Did you?

Well.

Come on, Sylvester. It's just around here.

Around here.

Nothing has changed.

Thomas: Ah! Wally, old boy.

Listen, we've got a real head-scratcher here for you.

Paige, this is, uh, Thomas and Connor.

They were my neighbors.

I'm sorry, fellas, it's been a long flight.

Just a quick one.

What's eight million times eight million?

64 trillion.

The walking brain does it again!

And what about the platonic number for antonium?

There's no such thing as antonium.

There's antimony and actinium, and they're not platonic numbers, they're atomic.

“Platonic” means it's friendly.

You calling your old pal an idiot?

Why don't you just answer the question.

You're walking into their trap.

I'll answer your questions if you answer mine first.

So, if Thomas can pick up 20 pounds of potatoes an hour, then how many hours will it take before he's passed out at the Duke Pub?

He's the same arrogant jerk as when he was nine.

Come on.

Walter...

Hey, you know what, I, uh...

I'll go talk to him.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh. Okay.

Yeah, that'd be great.

You're pretty good at that.

Conservation of momentum dictates that as the stone enters the water and pushes it downwards, the stone is forced upwards.

Huh.

I come here to get away from problems like Thomas and Connor.

That's why I'm so good at this.

I get what you're dealing with.

I've got experience with bullying myself.

Really?

Absolutely.

People have a tendency to fall into old patterns when they go home.

Look, I'll tell you what, the rest of this trip, I'll get your back.

It might force, uh, Thomas and Connor to give you a little bit of space.

Walter, hey, what... what are you staring at?

Dead fish.

They old friends of yours or something?

(chuckles)

That was a joke.

No, there are a number of dead fish, and the water's bubbling there and there.

Does it seem cooler by the lake than normal?

CO2's coming off the lake.

Walter.

Hey!

For our new friends, it's tradition that the procession carries the statue of St. Charles of Mount Argus from the church to the cemetery, where we honor the dead.

Louise: And where we'll dedicate Megan's cenotaph.

Sean: The procession adds parishioners as it passes by, and it'll be coming around to us soon, so... if you could all get ready to leave.

Have some soda bread before we hit the path.

Father Paul is a lovely man, but he'll talk your ears off, and I don't want you to starve.

Everyone, stop!

What? What's wrong?

The lake's about to explode.

(laughter)

That's a new one.

What are you saying, Walter?

The top water layer is so hot, and the bottom layer is so much cooler that carbon dioxide is collecting at dangerous levels at the bed of the lake.

It's like a... a shaken can of soda.

So if anything disrupts the lake-- a motor, a landslide, heavy rain-- then the gas will rush to the top, and the lake will explode.

And that will send out a deadly cloud of carbon dioxide the size of a football field.

So anyone in its path could die, could be knocked unconscious, could suffer severe brain damage.

Is that like the size of an American football field, or like a proper... proper football pitch?

(laughter)

Paige: Hold on. Hold on.

When is this happening?

I can't be exactly certain, but soon.

More or less certain than the time you said the village would be struck by an asteroid?

An asteroid did strike, just in Perth.

He also swore up and down about an earthquake.

That happened, too. In Sri Lanka.

I was ten.

My calculations were off.

They're not off now.

Well, then I guess we're all gonna be having a drink with Davy Jones, aren't we?

(laughter)

I'm trying to save your lives.

I'll stop the lake from erupting without you.

(door closes)

This is good soda bread.

♪ Scorpion 3x08 ♪
Sly and the Family Stone

Paige: Holy crap!

You have to see this.

Paige: This is a lake in Tanzania.

That's gonna happen here?

That's what Walter says.

Map of the town!

All right.

So, we have to tackle this from two angles.

The first, alleviating the pressure of the carbon dioxide at the bottom of the lake.

Second, preparing for the possibility that we fail; but to do that, I will need wind speed and direction.

Sure hope this first grade science project saves us.

Readings from your party cup wind meter.

Sylvester: 30 rotations over 15 seconds.

Approximate wind velocity: eight miles an hour.

Approximate wind direction: southwest.

Okay, then this would be the path of a deadly CO2 cloud within ten minutes of eruption, and intersecting with the Pattern Day procession at Finn's Ravine.

This would k*ll everyone.

Paige, Sly, get to that procession.

Paige: The one where you just said everyone could die?

You need to convince them all to direct the route further north.

What if they don't listen to us? They didn't listen to you.

They've taken a shine to you.

Now, remember, they don't believe that the lake's about to explode, so tell them something good.

Oh, boy.

Walter: So that leaves us to find a way to off-gas the lake.

Cabe: We're all ears, Walt.

We need a giant straw to suck the carbon dioxide from the bottom of the lake.

Steel piping do it? There's a plumber's truck back there.

Thomas and Connor's.

That will work.

On it.

Okay, Cabe, you need to find a boat to haul it to the center of the lake-- and no engines.

A propeller could disrupt the CO2 layer and cause an eruption.

Good to know.

(grunts) Sorry, fellas.

Okay.

Condensation catcher.

This was my idea.

What's the scoop, kitten?

It's 4:30.

I am on Cabe time, so I can't sleep past 4:00.

Silver lining is that I get a lot of work done, including finalizing my divorce.

Really?

Which means we can get married ASAP.

I've already booked an appointment at the courthouse, so by nightfall, we will be woman and husband.

Wow, that's, uh...

Wow!

(cell phone ringing)

This is Dr. Curtis. Speak.

Toby, a heat wave has prevented the carbon dioxide from turning over in nearby Clementine Lake.

Now, it's about to erupt, and I need Happy's help in building a system to off-gas the lake and prevent limnic eruption.

Who is this?

Toby, I need... I need weather satellite temperatures of this lake immediately.

So your family trip's going kind of how you imagined.

Not now!

Okay, piping is all connected. What's next?

We need something for ballast while we bolt down the engineering.

How 'bout an inner tube?

That's a great idea.

Nice, Tim.

Sounds like you boys are getting on like gangbusters.

We're fine. Happy?

Now you need a valve to modulate the amount of carbon dioxide saturated water you pull to the surface.

Too little, and the lake will still erupt.

Too much, and you'll cause an eruption.

Give me the pipe specs.

Uh, generic steel piping.

12 inches in diameter, about 60 feet in length.

You need fishing line that runs the length of the pipe tied to something that will act as a flapper valve.

Uh... toilet seat?

It'll do.

Toby: I'm in the Irish national weather satellite.

I'm assuming red thermal imaging for lake temps is bad?

Very.

That thing's a powder keg waiting for you to light the fuse.

Cabe, where are you with that boat?

On my way.

The only boat I could get is a little slow.

(pedals squeaking)

Father, I just feel that a different path would be so poignant considering how important today is.

Listen, son, I've told you once, I'm not changing tradition.

Especially not for some American's first Pattern Day.

Now, get in line.

How'd it go?

The priest hates me.

Then go over his head. Talk to the crowd.

I can't. I have anxiety about addressing crowds.

How do you expect to run for public office if you can't address a crowd?

Think of it this way.

Saving everyone's life here will be good practice for saving your comic book store.

Excuse me, everybody, please.

Wait.

Attention. Everybody...

Attention, Irish friends.

First of all, thank you all so much for letting me be a part of today's beautiful ceremonies.

Now, I know this is against tradition, but I was wondering if, instead of going down through the ravine, we could change directions and go north, towards Megan's elementary school?

She was so fond of it, and I would like to learn and see as much as I can of her before I leave.

Priest: We follow the path we've walked for generations.

Now, get back in line and...

Respectfully, Father, he's Megan's husband.

And he was there for her when she needed him.

And the least we can do is go a bit out of our way.

(quietly): Well, that's a bloody good one.

Bloody Americans. (mutters)

That was easy.

All you had to do was lie and be emotionally manipulative.

You're a natural politician.

Toby: All right, guys, I got your cell GPS signal layered over the satellite image.

I can track your progress.

We'll give you the heads up when you're in the zone to lower the pressure pipe.

Walter: Left, right, left, right, left, right...

You see, Tim, synchronization is the key to efficiency.

It's worth remembering.

Yeah. Thanks.

Hey, since we have a minute, Paige's job is to keep us emotionally on track, and our commitment to each other is a real testament to her hard work.

If she wasn't invited to the wedding, she might feel slighted.

Postpones us a day, but whatever.

And if Paige is coming, we could have a jealousy issue unless we invite Sly, Walt, Cabe, Ralph.

If they want to schlep to the courthouse, fine.

And if they're coming, then we should...

Guys! You're in the hot zone.

(grunts)

No, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Tim, what are you doing?!

What? She said we were in the zone.

The hot zone, not the drop zone.

Well, in the m*llitary, “in the hot zone” means go time.

We're not in the m*llitary, we're in a lake with a swan boat.

Not good.

Okay, since the pipe is impossible to retrieve, efficiency dictates that we start our work now.

The water should be deep enough that our plan will still work.

Now that our straw's in place, we need to create suction.

To do that, we first have to deflate the bladder.

How do we do that?

Jump on it.

Okay.

(grunts)

(air sputtering)

(air sputtering in distance)

Don't feel bad, son.

Her soda bread gets to everyone.

All right, off the bladder.

(grunts)

Now we wait?

The bladder will draw the CO2 rich water up through the pipe.

The pressure of the gas below will keep it flowing, like a geyser.

And redistribute the gas-pressurized water so the lake won't explode.

Exactly.

Should be very soon.

It better be.

If somehow, I'm actually wrong, like I was with the asteroid and the earthquake...

You were just a kid.

Wish we'd dropped the device in the proper part of the lake.

Walt.

Tim: Come on, give me a break.

All day long, all you've been talking about is problem solving and efficiency.

I was just trying to be efficient.

This is the last time I do you a favor.

Go ahead and fail your Homeland exam.

What Homeland exam?

Guys! Focus on the plan.

Toby told me to help you with a non-existent test?

Ralph asked me to pal around with you in Ireland.

It was a little Parent Trapping.

Trying to create some peace in the garage.

Why in the hell would you think that I need help with problem solving and efficiency anyway?

I've built bridges over ravines in Kandahar in the middle of a battle zone. I'm a trained SEAL.

And yet you believed some, what, half-baked lie from Toby?

That's how little you think of me?

I guess so.

But since we were both duped, perhaps this could be a detente to the sniping.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

A little dishonesty never k*lled anyone.

We will discuss this, Toby.

Yes, we will.

(rumbling)

Tim: Uh, guys, is this a good or a bad thing?

Yeah, it's good, it's good.

We've built a highway to allow the water from deeper part of the lake to get to the top.

Guys, don't break out the cigars just yet.

I'm getting temp readings showing the hot zone getting hotter, not cooler.

My bet, you're drawing carbon dioxide out of the lake too fast, and it's exciting the rest of the gas pool.

You need to slow the water or the lake will explode.

That's why you put in the flapper valve.

Pull it!

Walter: Shutting the flapper valve.

Come on!

The valve's stuck!

Shut the valve, Walt.

I think we're looking at a major problem!

Walter: It's gone slack!

Come on!

(groans)

Seaweed.

This would not have been an issue if we were at the deeper part of the lake.

Come on, give me a break!

And that's the end of our peaceful garage.

(rumbling)

It's gonna be the end of more than that if we don't get the hell out of here!

(rumbling continues)

Oh, boy.

Everybody in one piece?

Yeah.

Ah, there goes my deposit.

Guys, what I just heard over my comms did not sound good.

Is there a deadly cloud in the air?

Tim: Not one that we can see.

Carbon dioxide is invisible to the naked eye.

You need thermal imaging.

Happy?

It is not good.

We are looking at the Godzilla of gas clouds.

Toby: But it's not heading towards you, Walter.

Wind direction has shifted from west to northeast.

Walter: I put them in harm's way.

They would have been safe in Finn's Ravine.

Yeah, it's heading right for the cemetery.

Sylvester: You mean the cemetery we're about to go into?

This cemetery?

How long do we have?

15 minutes, unless the wind picks up, which it may.

Do you guys have any good news?

Yeah, if you die, you'll be conveniently located.

Get everyone the hell out of there!

Pardon me, Father?

Sylvester Dodd, hi.

Walter: We'll drive to you now to evacuate the infirm, but we have to get the rest of the town to run south.

We'll be there as soon as we can, but we have to drive around the cloud.

Getting you a route now.

Tim: Why not drive through it, hold our breath?

There's a SEAL technique where...

The van's engine would choke on the carbon dioxide.

It would seep in and we'd choke, too.

Okay, I'm just throwing out ideas.

If I need something heavy moved, you're our guy.

Now can you get me a bottle, some tubing and a funnel?

You know what, Walter?

Hey, hey, hey... it's all right.

So because of this deadly cloud, we need to evacuate the cemetery immediately.

Because the lake exploded?

Wish I could have seen that.

It would certainly make this story easier to believe.

Listen, we need to go south, like, ten minutes ago.

Everybody, come on.

Paige: Come on.

(crowd murmuring)

You guys, you need to take this more seriously.

Like when we redirected from Finn's Ravine.

But that was you asking, dear.

This is from Walter, and his theories are so... you know.

I haven't missed a Pattern Day in my life, and I'm not starting today.

Connor: We've got people to pay our respects to, like Megan.

But do you understand you will asphyxiate and die?

Next year, I will be spending Pattern Day for all of you, if you do not follow me!

Yeah. Let's go.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

(vehicle approaching)

That's our van.

What the hell's he done to it?

I will k*ll the brainiac.

Oh, great, you're still here.

As I suspected.

Sean: Walter, all we can see are bright red roses against a crystal blue sky.

So can we drop all this nonsense about a cloud and pay our respects to your sister?

If she were here, she would listen to me and she'd want me to do everything that I can to save this town!

Save them from what?

Is that a Molotov cocktail?

Have you gone insane?

Tobin: The land's a tinder box from the drought.

You'll burn down the village!

The carbon dioxide will disperse the oxygen and extinguish the flame, proving that it exists!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

(crowd gasping)

Tobin: Our family land!

You'll scorch it to ashes!

Okay, kid.

When's the cloud gonna put out the flame?

Well, it should have already by now.

Walter, what do we do now?

You pompous son of a bitch, I'm gonna leave you here with the rest of the dead!

Hey, hey, hey... Hey, hey, look!

Look, look!

It's starting to peter out.

We need to start evacuating.

Happy: Walt, it's too late.

The wind picked up and the cloud is now covering the only road leading to and from the cemetery.

If you go to it, you will choke and die.

Cabe: Let's just run as fast as we can in the opposite direction. Come on!

We can't.

Cemetery backs up to a quarry.

It's a dead end.

There's no escape.

Keep moving! We've created, at best, a 1,200-yard head start.

Which, by my calculations, gives us five minutes until the cloud is upon us!

They're exhausted. I don't think they can keep going.

Even if they could, it wouldn't matter.

Walter: Okay, so if we can't run from the cloud, then we have to neutralize it.

Sylvester: If only we had magnesium.

That would react with the carbon dioxide and turn it into oxygen.

Cabe: Guessing we'll need more than the magnesium in my chewable vitamins.

Bright red roses.

Father, do you put Epsom salts in the soil?

Of course. It makes for larger blossoms and brighter colors.

I'm guessing Epsom salts are made of magnesium?

Magnesium sulfide.

I have several bags in the shed.

Lead the way, Padre!

Walter, new problem: based on the size of the cloud, we need at least 100 pounds of Epsom salts, and then we need to deliver it to the center of the cloud.

If we hit the edge, the carbon dioxide will just roll over it, unaffected.

I know we can't run the Epsom salts into a cloud, but can we just hold our breath and-and run it in?

Toby: Unless you're Oskar Svendsen, Norwegian wunderkind cyclist, no bueno.

It's impossible based on your VO2 max, your volume of max oxygen.

No one can hold their breath long enough because of the energy required to carry 100 pounds of Epsom salts.

Then take this.

Can you and your friends use my t*nk to save the village?

Thomas: Are you having me on?

You will die without that.

Better me than the village.

Toby: That would work, Walter.

It's not ideal.

No, there-there has to be a better way.

Are you serious?

You're gonna take this man's oxygen for another one of your crazy ideas?

How would you propose that we get the salt there, Thomas?

Do you have any notions?

Tim: Actually, I got an idea.

Tim, please, I'm trying to think.

Paige: Walter, you need something heavy moved.

Tim's expertise, remember?

During Navy SEAL training, they taught us a technique to hold our breath.

Intentionally hyperventilate, then take a breath of pure oxygen.

So you flush out the CO2 in your body and then you preload it with unconverted oxygen.

Yeah. End result being you can hold your breath for minutes longer.

After the initial breath, you won't need Uncle Tobin's oxygen t*nk.

Toby: Guys, I hate to rain on your parade, but a few additional minutes isn't gonna be enough time for you to deliver 100 pounds of Epsom salts to the center of the cloud and get back.

It's a one-way trip, Timbo.

Not if we split the burden.

I'm going with you.

Sylvester: I just did the math.

It could work.

Okay. I'll get us set up.

Happy: Good, 'cause the cloud is now entering the cemetery, and I don't think it's there to pay its respects.

I don't want to be back here next Pattern Day to remember another child.

Come back safe.

Thank you.

Follow my lead.

(breathing rapidly)

(inhaling deeply)

(inhaling deeply)

Be careful.

Mm, mm, mm.

That's it.

You're at the center of the cloud.

You're in the zone.

Is it supposed to take so long?

Uh, I don't think any of us have a clue how long this is supposed to take.

(crowd gasping)

Man: What was that?!

Sylvester: It's the CO2 reacting with the magnesium.

They gonna be okay?

That's another thing we really don't have a clue about.

Guys, I think it worked!

Where's my boy?

Thanks be a million! (laughs)

(crowd cheering)

Man: He did it!

Hey.

Man: Way to go, Walter!

Well done, boyo. Well done.

Thomas: Aw, looks like you're a big hero now, eh, Walter?

Oh, I'm not a hero, but I'm glad everything worked out.

Oh, right.

Well, I guess a stopped clock can be right twice a day, eh?

Take the high road, Walter.

Walter: You know, I will take the high road, because you two will have to live the rest of your lives knowing that the kid that you used to torment saved you.

Oh!

Paige: Remind me to explain to you what taking the high road means.

Connor: Pally, for your trip back to America, take this souvenir.

Cabe: Hey!

What the hell was that?

That guy mouthed off.

Walter: You've had experience with bullies.

How do you get them to stop picking on you?

Walter, I was the bully.

What?

Look, I was a punk kid.

Okay? The only thing that finally got me to stop was getting my ass kicked.

So, go in there and kick his ass.

(groans)

All right, Thomas. I suppose it's come to this.

We are gonna have a proper fight now, Walter.

And see this?

This is a b*ating you've been begging for for years.

Sean: No.

Not on Pattern Day.

Dad, you don't need to protect me.

This is something that I need to do.

Do we really have to watch this?

Think we do.

Look, aim for the liver. Hit him there, he goes down.

Don't forget the plums. That always works.

Tim: No.

Walt's gonna fight square.

Listen, be patient, watch his right shoulder.

When it moves, duck under his hook, punch him in the liver.

Okay. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. What about his left?

That's a jab, that's not gonna hurt.

Not gonna hurt?

Just a jab, it's just a jab.

(grunts, laughs)

That sounds like someone slapping meat.

(groans)

(laughter)

The left does hurt.

All right, stick with the plan.

Tim: Yeah!

Brains and brawn!

Tim: Hey!

(Paige screams)

Come on.

Enough!

You should all be ashamed!

♪ ♪

Walter: We all loved her.

We have common ground.

Just not enough to bridge the gap.

Yeah. We have to maintain relationships or they disappear.

(sniffles)

♪ ♪

I'll stop trying to make you feel dumb.

And we will stop trying to make you feel weak.

Connor: Maybe next time, we can all be a bit nicer to one another.

Next time.

Sean: Safe travels, son.

Safe travels.

Thanks to you both.

It was a beautiful ceremony.

Video chat, Saturday night at 8:00?

Absolutely. As always.

Father.

Okay, then.

I'm proud of what you did today, son.

Stopping the cloud or the fight?

Both.

I promise to stay in better touch from now on.

Okay.

Ready to go?

Yeah.

I am really gonna miss Ireland.

Yeah.

Maybe I will, too.

♪ ♪

Where'd you get that?

In one of the boxes Cabe was storing here.

He looks like an extra in Dragnet.

I was thinking, a rushed wedding-- that might not be the best move for us.

You sending me a signal?

I said my divorce was finalized and you said “meh”.

And then you postponed the wedding by upping the guest list 4,000%.

Now, what gives?

You don't want to marry me anymore?

Happy, Happy.

I still want to marry you, more than ever.

I just want a huge wedding.

When I was a kid, I was actually a loser.

I never dreamed I'd marry a babe like you. I...

It's the greatest accomplishment of my life.

I just... I want everyone to know it.

So you want to show me off like a piece of meat?

Exactly. There's dozens of people in Brooklyn that need some comeuppance.

It's just really not my style.

I know.

(door opens)

We're back.

Exhausted.

Sylvester: Toby, I bought you a new Irish tweed hat, but I'm too tired to unpack it.

Walter: Tim, can I talk to you for a second?

You were a real credit to the team today.

I learned I can be an ass, and...

I'll try not to be one in the future.

(chuckles)

Wow, Walter, um...

Thank you.

Sure.

(Tim clears throat)

And now I have to go study for my Homeland exam.

Thank you, Walter.

Cabe: Hey, what's this doing out?

I haven't looked at this in years.

Toby found it.

Think he was looking for wedding ideas.

We really went for it.

We got the big room in the VFW.

Doing the limbo.

My Aunt Angie, she baked, uh, rainbow cookies.

This was a great a day.

Looks like a happy memory.

It was the happiest day of my life.

We going home soon, roomie?

I got you something.

Meat?

It's gammon.

That's a traditional Irish cut of pork.

I'll fry it up for dinner?

Give me an hour to finish the chelation treatment.

Okay.

See you soon.

You're a softy.

Be glad I am, because that is why you are getting your big wedding.

Really?

If that grump can smile at his wedding, maybe this grump can, too.

(groans)

Ah...

Walter.

Mm-hmm?

What's this?

Uncle Tobin told me about the village tradition of taking a stone from the bottom of the lake and giving it to a family member. It's, uh, supposed to symbolize that you'd go to the depths for them.

I remember the tradition.

Megan brought you and I together and made us brothers.

But that's not the end of it.

Toby, Happy, Cabe, Paige, Ralph, e-even Tim.

They're our family.

Blood doesn't make family.

Love makes family.

Anyway...

Tobin told me nobody ever gave you a stone from the lake.

Sly, you're my family.

Even if you hadn't have married my sister.

In all honesty, I didn't get the stone from the lake.

I got it from the shore.

It's the thought that counts.

Yeah. Yeah.

There was a lot of algae and bacteria by the shore, so I-I actually got it from your parents' driveway.

I got it from outside the garage.

I was worried about taking a stone through customs.

It still means a lot.

(door opens, closes)