04x10 - Hamilton

[bunniefuu]

You know what? Here's an interesting story that we haven't talked about yet.

So you've got Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe.

There's this hurricane. A flaming ship. The Revolutionary w*r. An affair. And duels.

Oh, Questlove is...

Questlove?

Texting me... what? How did Questlove find out?

This is the stuff you can't do in a play.

(Laughs)

(Patriotic music)

♪♪

(Sweeping orchestral music)

♪♪

So this is where you grew up.

This is the block I grew up.

I, uh... you know, learned to ride a bike going down this hill.

Do you wanna get drunk?

Yes! Yes!

Oh, okay, okay.

Let's do that.

I meant to ask you that before we walked up the street.

Okay.

You do wanna get drunk?

Yeah, we should do that.

'Cause we got these camera guys here, I just think...

That would work out nicely.

That would be weird if you didn't want to.

Let's go.

Okay.

All right.

(Lively music)

♪♪

I read in your biography that you were more into the Monkees than the Beatles.

I think that's really cool of you, Lin.

Cut.

Bullshit.

(Both laugh)

No!

(Laughter)

Hi, I'm stage's Lin-Manuel Miranda.

(Laughter)

And we're gonna... (laughs) [bleep].

Hello, my name is Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Today we're gonna talk about Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.

(Laughs)

Cheers, my brother.

Cheers!

Here we are.

(Glasses clink)

Our story begins in the Exotic Caribbean. (Laughs)

Um... uh, it begins on the island of Nevis. So Hamilton and his mother... they were both sick and he survived and she didn't. So she d*ed in bed with him. It's a hellish, Dickensian childhood. Here's where we have to talk about our buddy Aaron Burr. Also an orphan. Everyone dies by the time he's, like, 10 years old. His mother dies, his father dies. He's put in the care of various people who d*ed, just like Hamilton. The difference is, he's got money. He gets an amazing education. He goes to Princeton, which was then Queens College, at 13 years old. Finishes it in two years instead of four. Here's Hamilton. Genius. The orphan who is stuck on an island. You know, he's gonna invent our economy later.

History spoiler.

Um, but he learns it by... by running a company.

So one day, there's this hurricane. And it...

[bleep] up the Caribbean.

He writes a letter to his father, um, and he's saying, hey, Dad, I know you're not here 'cause you were never here in my entire childhood. But this hurricane really [bleep] us up.

And it's super flowery language.

Like, "The scene is sufficient to strike astonishment into angels." Ann Lyton Venton, his cousin, reads this letter, and she goes, like, holy sh*t, this kid's a genius. Um, his... his talents are being wasted running a trading company.

And she basically helps to raise him enough money so he can get on a ship and go to the Colonies and get his education.

And that's how Hamilton escapes, uh, his lot in life. He... he literally writes his way out. And the ship he's on catches fire.

What?

I know.

This is the stuff you can't do in a play.

Like, here comes sick-ass Hamilton on a flaming ship. Your ass will never be the same.

(Laughter)

Um, so Hamilton shows up at Queens College, and he says, hey, what's up, I'm Hamilton. Here are all my letters from the West Indies. I'm really [bleep] smart, so I'd like to graduate in two years, which Burr did. Um, and they say, Burr's dad was the president of Princeton. We don't know you from a hole in the ground. So no. And he says, [bleep] you, [bleep] you, you're cool, Aaron Burr, nice to meet you. I'm gonna go to another college that will graduate me faster.

And they both split early before finishing their education because... (imitates fanfare)

The w*r! The Revolutionary w*r. Burr and Hamilton start their respective w*r careers. And Burr has a really distinguished w*r career. Um, like, kills a lot of British dudes, has an amazing, sort of, run. Meanwhile, George Washington asks Hamilton, hey, be my aides-de-camp.

Aides-de-camp is, like, a fancy word for secretary.

He's like, nah, nah, nah, I'm good, I wanna fight. I wanna fight, 'cause that's how I'm gonna rise up. When Washington's like, mother[bleep], like, come work for me. It's paperwork, sure, but you're gonna be at the center of the action. You're gonna be in the guy... in with the guy who knows best. And Hamilton does his political calculus and says, okay. So Hamilton writes his letters. Hamilton writes letters to Congress. This whole time, all Hamilton wants is a command. Hamilton's just, sort of, tugging on his sleeve, being like, can I fight? Can I... can you just give me, like, a bunch of dudes and like, I... I promise I'll be so good at this. And Washington's like, no, just stay aides-de-camp. But they go through some of the toughest trials of the w*r together. It's... it's Hamilton and Washington.

And then Hamilton finally goes, I quit! I'm out!

And Washington, aware of what a, sort of, gifted but troubled kid Hamilton is, says, all right, you're gonna lead these troops to do this very specific thing in the Battle of Yorktown. Hopefully this is our last battle anyway. But, like, you will be able to say you led a command. And so, Hamilton goes into it like, with ridiculous gusto. Um, he's like... he... he's like jumping ahead of everyone. Being like, oh, we're at w*r! Wah! Like... like... he's, like, showboating. Ba dum, Ba, dum, Ba dum, Ba dum, blop. (Blows raspberry) Ba dum, Ba, dum, Ba dum... Like, he's totally showboating.

Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.

(Both laugh)

Okay, I'm gonna lean forward.

You're okay?

Oh, sh*t, I'm drunk.

You're doing great.

Okay, good.

Pretty drunk.

(Laughs)

You feel okay?

I'm giggly and there's gaps in my memory. (Laughs)

That's all right.

Already.

Okay, so, uh, let's get back.

So, Yorktown.

We won! Well, now we've gotta form a country.

Um, they all ask him, hey, come be a part of the Constitutional Convention.

So we're figuring out how the American system is gonna work. The Constitutional Convention, this is the room where they're deciding what the shape of our government should be. They're hashing it out. And Hamilton speaks for six hours. But some of the things he pitched would haunt him the rest of his career.

He pitched maybe president for life?

(Whispering): Ooh, he's secretly a monarchist. Maybe, uh, we inherit... positions. (Whispering): Bullshit. That's terrible. This guy just wants to bring back the British.

Those whispers are from the perspectives of, um, people who don't like him.

Um, but anyway, um, we adopt the system that we adopt. And Hamilton becomes its most ardent defender.

So...

Trying to find the straightest line through this story.

So Hamilton has an affair.

Um, while he's the treasury secretary, he carries on this affair with a woman named Maria Reynolds. Her husband shows up. He's like, yo, uh, that's my wife. I'm happy to, like, keep it on the low, but you have to pay me. Gets basically extorted for about $1,000.

James Reynolds, the husband who was extorting him, gets arrested on some other bullshit.

While he's trying to weasel his way out of it, he says, I've got dirt on Alexander Hamilton. Everyone goes, really? Hamilton, uh, and... has been embezzling.

And he sort of says all this sh*t about Hamilton.

Um, and so three guys go to confront Hamilton on these charges. One of the dudes was future president James Monroe. And they went, yo, Hamilton, we know what you did, you know what you did. Check out these checks to James Reynolds. What's up? And they accuse him of embezzling funds. And Hamilton goes, no, no, no. I was just [bleep] this lady, and her husband was hitting me up for money. I didn't touch American money, and I have all kinds of proof.

And he, like, vomits information all over them.

Oh, wow, that was more than we needed to hear. And we're good, thanks. The info about the affair gets somehow miraculously printed in the paper. Hamilton is not a great dude. I know you think he's great 'cause he's a w*r vet, and he's the Treasury Secretary, but you're gonna learn the truth real soon. And Hamilton gets this and he goes to James Monroe. (Whispering): What the [bleep]? Like, I told you that in secret. And James Monroe's like, it wasn't secret and it wasn't me. Wasn't me who... who, uh, published it. Mother[bleep]! I told three people about this and you're the one who was taking notes, so I know it came from you. Like... fess up [Bleep] you.

[Bleep] you.

So Hamilton, over sharer, writes the Reynolds Pamphlet.

The whole thing reads like a Dear Penthouse letter.

Like, dear America, I never thought this would happen to me. But one day, this ripped bodice woman showed up at my door, saying, oh, my husband's b*ating me, left me alone and I need money and I need help. You are a man of honor. Can you help me? Hamilton's like, I could give her money or I could [bleep] her and either one would be acceptable. The... the Reynolds Pamphlet is like d*ck 101.

And, by the way, he sent this to his friends.

Being like, hey, I think I'm gonna publish this. And everyone was like, hey, bro, I don't think this is a good idea to publish this. Like, maybe your wife and your seven children would not love it if you published this. And Hamilton's like, well, I mean, like, I got accused of embezzling. And, like, I can't let that stand. Maybe the, like, marital infidelity trumps that? I know it doesn't in your head, but to everyone else in the world it does. Um, and he's like, no, I can't let that sh*t stand. And Hamilton goes back to James Monroe and... and now Hamilton's like, well, it's all out in the open. Um, and if you still wanna settle this, because I know you're the one who leaked it. Um, Monroe's like, well, I didn't leak it, but if you wanna, like, fight, like, let's do this. And so they meet face to face. And Monroe goes, all right, you're mad at me because of this, this, and this. And Hamilton goes, let's start at the beginning.

And lists, like, the first time they met. (Laughs)

He lists the details of the entire meeting, as Monroe gets more and more impatient. Monroe's like, I know all this, I know all this. I know all this. Hamilton's like, you interrupted me. I have to start again. And Monroe's getting angrier and angrier, until they're finally pulled apart.

'Cause they're about to, like, punch each other in the face.

So Monroe goes to his homey, Aaron Burr. And goes, yo, you know Hamilton, will you tell him... this is so, like, high school gossip.

He goes, will you tell Hamilton that if he's challenging me to a duel, I accept. But if he's not, I wasn't challenging him to a duel. And Burr goes over to Hamilton, like, James Monroe told me to tell you that if you're challenging him, he accepts, but if you weren't challenging him, he doesn't really wanna go into a duel.

Uh, and Burr squashes the duel.

Burr's like, duels are stupid. And you both should just, like shut up. And it's over. And Hamilton told everyone everything, anyway. So there's no point in you sh**ting at each other.

(Cell phone beeps)

Sorry, I forgot to put my phone on vibrate.

Yeah, okay.

Uh-oh, Questlove's...

Questlove?

Texting me.

"You did 'Drunk History'?"

What? How did Questlove find out?

Oh, here we go.

Yo!

Questlove!

Yo! (Laughs)

(Both laugh)

Look at this.

This is the best sh*t ever! I cannot wait for this episode. My girl and I got together based on our love for "Drunk History."

You see the effect you have?

Well...

I love you both.

♪ History has its eyes on you ♪

Yes.

This is awesome!

Cheers.

Bye, Questo.

All right, bye.

How drunk are you?

Very.

(Laughs)

Where are you guys?

What car are you in? What even is happening?

Yo, film him now.

(Laughs)

We are.

They are.

Uh, you can't see.

Look.

Oh, my God. Hey, what's up, ya'll?

(Laughs)

I think you're great.

You're my fav... you're my best...

I am too, man.

Both: You're my best friend.

Say it! Say it. You're my best friend.

You're my best friend.

(Laughs)

I love you.

(Laughs)

I love you, Lin!

Long as I got a job, you got a job, bye.

Try hard, homey, try hard.

Long as I got a job, you got a job.

(Laughs)

(Both laugh)

(Whispering): I wanna order Dominos.

Um...

Okay.

So Hamilton and Burr, they're contemporaries. And they're colleagues. And they're friends until they're not. They're cool until Burr runs against Hamilton's father-in-law for Senate. And he wins. And Hamilton's like, yo, I thought we were friends. We are friends. I ran against your father-in-law, he was weak. And I won. Like, why can't we still be friends? 'Cause that was my [bleep] father-in-law. And now we're enemies.

Um, all right.

Let's flash forward.

Burr runs for president against Hamilton's arch nemesis, Thomas Jefferson. It was a tie between Jefferson and Burr. And people went to Hamilton. And they said, hey, should we vote for Burr or Jefferson? Hamilton was like, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah... no!

Vote for Jefferson. I disagree with him, at least he has an ethos. He said, if pressed, if pressed, like a juice.

Mm-hmm. I don't know what the [bleep] Burr stands for. And I've known Burr all my life. And Jefferson wins because of Hamilton. So Burr's vice president, he doesn't got sh*t to do. Like, Thomas Jefferson's like, I trust you about as far as I can throw you, and I can't throw things very far. I have slaves who do that for me. So Burr is suddenly on the other side of this brush with greatness.

And he's got nothing.

No one trusts him.

And he looks around and he goes, why don't I have a career in this country I helped fight for and die for and...

He didn't die for it, but...

Like, I helped build this thing, and why am I...

Why is my political career over? And he looks around and the only answer he has is Hamilton.

Hamilton talked sh*t about Burr all the time.

So Burr writes a letter to Hamilton. Dear Alexander Hamilton, mother[bleep]. Hamilton responds with, Burr, mother[bleep].

Burr: mother[bleep]. Apologize for what you said, or meet me on the field for combat.

Hamilton: I don't want it to go down like this. I really don't. But I can't apologize for what I said, so I guess I'll see you there. Again, this feels like high school. Totally high school.

Well, you know what? Here's an interesting story that we haven't talked about yet.

A couple of days before the final duel, Hamilton and Burr are at the same party. And by all accounts, Burr was sulking in the corner and Hamilton was standing on the bar, leading his friends in a song. And the song was?

I don't know.

Right, we don't know.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Both: ♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪

That was my graduation song.

Like, I remember, thinking, like, man...

You know...

(Plays piano)

It's a metaphor for everything.

Yeah.

(Laughs)

And this is the last night, guys. The last night.

Both: ♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪

♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪

♪ With me ♪
♪ I know who ♪

Both: ♪ I want to take me home ♪
♪ Take me home ♪
♪ My new born ♪
♪ New boy ♪

(Both laugh)

(Laughs) So... where was I?

We're gonna duel it out.

1804, four, four, four, four.

So we're here. We're on the grounds at Weehawken. From Burr's perspective, there's no reason to think Hamilton won't fire at him. Hamilton shows up wearing glasses. Hamilton is checking out his g*n pretty intently. Burr's like, this mother[bleep] right here talked sh*t about me my whole career. Basically stopped me from being elected President of the United States. This guy has opposed me at every turn. When I look back at my career, he's the one in the way. He's got his [bleep] glasses on. This guy is checking out his g*n pretty intently. This mother[bleep] is gonna k*ll me if I don't k*ll him first.

So, um, they get to that moment.

They meet. They count their paces. They turn and fire. Burr aims forward, Hamilton aims up. Burr's b*llet strikes Hamilton right between his ribs. The first thing that happened was Burr rushed over to talk to Hamilton. And his second held him back. No, I have to go talk to Hamilton. And his second is like, no, no, no. You forfeit the right to talk to Hamilton when you sh*t him. You gotta get back to New York. You gotta get, like, away from the scene as quickly as possible. Hamilton gets rowed back across the river. He gets taken to a doctor's office on Maiden Lane. And Hamilton dies the next day. But here's the thing, Hamilton writes letters before the final duel. In his last act of political...

I don't know if it's genius or [bleep] you-itiveness.

He damns Burr for life. He wrote a bunch of [bleep] letters, saying, listen, I have to go to this duel with Aaron Burr, but I want you to know that I'm a good Christian. I'm not gonna fire on him. I'm gonna waste my sh*t in the air. I never meant to k*ll Burr, and if Burr k*lled me, he's the assh*le. (Laughs) And so history's eyes turn on Burr. Whether Hamilton lived or d*ed, he won the duel. And so, Hamilton wins.

He wins in a, "200 years later, they're writing musicals where I'm a martyr" type way. And so Burr's the monster. And what's ironic about that is Burr was never the monster.

Never. Burr was the cautious mother[bleep] who never let his opinion be known. And Hamilton was the reckless mother[bleep] who let his opinion be known about everything. And in the one moment where it counted most, Hamilton was cautious and Burr was reckless. Oh. And that defined their legacies forever.

It's [bleep] up.

It's really [bleep] up.

Mm-hmm.

Um...

(Laughs)

Right...

(Chuckles)

Ready...

So what do I have to do to get a part in this movie? (Laughs)

You already got it.

♪♪