01x01 - Death

[bunniefuu]

You're at a crossroads.

I can feel that.

Would you like me to light a candle?

If you feel it might help.

I think it would be a good idea.

What do I do?

Not a thing. I do it all.

I light the candle, I say a prayer, and fate reveals your path.

It's $500 for the candle and the ceremony.

There's a 10% discount for cash, but Visa is fine.

♪♪

Yes.

I have a good feeling about you and your lieutenant's exam.

Great.

♪ I was born already nailed to the cross ♪

It's the pressures of the job.

I'm always looking over my shoulder.

You assume failure, and then you look for a way to not be blamed for it.

Exactly!

Rose quartz can help with that.

You're gonna breathe this in eight times a day, and at night, you put it under your bed.

Will this bring my girlfriend back?

It's what the cards are telling me.

$80 for this?

♪ They were separated then... ♪

This part is made for you.

Did you bring me something from the casting director?

This was her lunch today.

That'll work.

[Card scanner beeping]

[Urinating]

Everyone has stops they make along the way.

Tommy is one of yours.

So, I should dump him?

This, uh, card suggests that he's cheating on you.

Prick.

It's what the cards tell us.

Same time next week?

Yeah.

Something I've been meaning to ask.

Is, uh, a psychic like a therapist?

Like, for one thing, is what I tell you confidential?

Of course.

How about the part...

Well, for the therapist, there's not supposed to be any personal involvement or anything like that.

[Chuckles]

Uh...

Aw.

I'm married.

Double, double toil and trouble.

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes!

[Applause]

I always thought it was "Hubble, bubble toil and trouble."

[Chuckles] A lot of people do.

I don't really like Shakespeare.

I can never understand what anyone's saying.

And everyone around me is laughing loudly so we'll all know that they do understand.

[Chuckles]

Uh, Nadine Davies.

Oh. Uh, Linda Haverford. Nice to meet you.

You're a magician?

Uh, I'm a housewife.

Really?

Yeah.

This is just something to get me out of the house, a little extra money coming in.

My husband, he used to be in the magic business.

He designed tricks.

Fascinating. What does he do now?

He's a psychic.

Oh.

You had a bad experience.

You have to be very careful. I'd say 95% are frauds.

Tell you you've been cursed and you have to bury money in the backyard or something.

They're nothing but con artists, pure and simple.

The gypsies have a word for it... amràn.

Loosely, it means a curse that won't let go.

You buried the chicken bones with the money?

Uh...

$1,000.

I don't want to touch it.

I've just cleansed the bowl.

You can put it in there.

Did you bring the egg?

It's as bad as I thought.

We don't have much choice.

Archangel Michael, hear us and help us.

It's a very strong curse.

I can feel the evil energy.

Can you feel this?

You don't work bujo... ever.

Bujo is ours.

♪ She said careful ♪
♪ Always careful ♪
♪ Stay close and stay prepared ♪
♪ One slip and you are theirs ♪
♪ You've gotta walk ♪
♪ Walk on well-lighted streets ♪
♪ Walk on well-lighted streets ♪
♪ Walk on well-lighted streets ♪
♪ Look twice at everyone I meet ♪

I took it to heart what you said about a curse.

I'm hitting a sort of tense patch in my business, and with that stress and with my kids...

Louisa, the little one, she's always sick.

And Hector, well, we just got his diagnosis.

It's that Asperger's.

And I remember that's what you saw when you did the reading last week.

They want us to take him to a special school and give him all these pills and go to therapy three times a week.

What kind of life is that for a kid?

And then they said that even with all that, he might never really be able to, you know, relate to people in any real way.

Anyway, I'm sorry to lay it out for you like this, but I trust you.

So, you have to tell me, how much more would you charge me to fix my kid?

'Cause I love the little guy.

I think I can help your family without going that far.

You have something of his, a T-shirt or something that you can bring in?

Sure. Of course.

Then bring it tomorrow or as soon as you can.

I want to... I want to take care of this before it gets any worse.

Yes.

Not until I know I can help.

♪♪

[Door opens, closes]

Eduardo. How are you?

Good. Very good.

How's your little boy?

I know you were concerned with him.

We think it's gonna be just fine.

Ah, that's wonderful.

Did you get a new car?

Picked it up yesterday. Fully loaded.

[Whistles]

Beautiful.

Yeah.

[Chuckles]

When our ship comes in, huh?

Mmhmm.

When you decide it's time, you let me know first.

I've got a guy who owes me.

Charlie, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.

My pleasure.

[Chuckles]

"Got a guy who owes me." [Chuckles]

f*ck that. He is a guy.

[Engine starts]

He said he was in packaging.

The only thing that man packages is cocaine and body parts.

Just be careful.

You have Amanda Tims today?

I did.

Did she try to get you to hit her with the high hard one?

I told her I was happily married.

[Chuckles]

You do the pickups?

Uh, this afternoon.

Marie wants you to fix her table.

And your sister hasn't answered her cell all morning.

She's probably sleeping one off.

Hey.

Those are for Nick's lunch.

He's a kid. He should eat healthy.

He's a kid. He gets to eat what he wants.

So, I met someone today at the party.

Yeah?

Mm.

Nadine. A woman from San Marino.

Very sad, very damaged.

Had a bad experience with a Glendale reader.

Not surprised.

Have her come in. See what I can do.

Charlie, this isn't a parlor mark.

This woman has money.

I think there's a real opportunity there.

Okay. Let's kick it up the chain.

If she's a long con, we send her to...

Fonso, yeah.

We'll get our cut eventually.

Hey, for now, Eduardo. See that car?

It's gonna be a really good month.

Yeah.

Great month.

Where's the bell pepper?

You didn't say anything about bell pepper.

Well, you can't make gumbo without bell pepper.

[Door slams]

♪♪
♪ Went to a fortune teller ♪
♪ Had my fortune read ♪
♪ I didn't know what to tell her ♪
♪ I had a dizzy feeling in my head ♪
♪ Then she took a look at my palm ♪
♪ She said, "Son, you feel kind of warm" ♪
♪ She looked into a crystal ball ♪
♪ And said, "You're in love" ♪
♪ I said, "How could that be so? ♪
♪ I'm not tight with none of the girls I know" ♪

Started farting out yesterday.

I'm doing a reading.

It lifts two feet in the air and dumps the cards all over these kids in here on a date.

The guy's hoping I tell the girl that the Queen of Blow Him was her card, and now he's pissing himself because he thinks this sh*t might be real.

Have you checked the batteries?

There's a battery?

Marie.

[Horn honks, tires screech]

♪♪

[Car dinging]

[Clattering]

He walks in, asks if his girlfriend's cheating.

I say the usual sh*t.

"Looks like it. Can't be sure in one sitting. Bring me some of her hair."

He flips out, hits me with the bowl.

What was your burning bowl doing on the table for a first read?

You know, looks good.

I like a little glitter. It confuses them.

I'm gonna have to talk to Fonso.

Fonso?

What does he have to do with it?

You're lucky you didn't lose an eye, Sylvia.

You tried to pull a Gypsy scam on a Gypsy.

Six weeks.

Six whole weeks to f*ck this up?

I mean, that's a record for you.

Ow!

I'll see what I can do with Fonso.

They made four nails to use in the crucifixion.

One for each of Jesus' hands, one for his feet.

The fourth was made of gold, and it was for his heart.

On the night before the crucifixion, a Gypsy boy stole the golden nail.

So they crucified Jesus with only three.

When it was over, God came to the Gypsy boy and told him that his theft had saved Jesus from the pain of a nail in the heart.

To repay him, God gave the gypsies the right to steal without moral consequence.

Stealing from gypsies, however, will f*ck you inside and out.

Sylvia made a mistake.

f*ckin' "A," she did.

And I guarantee you it wasn't her first time.

That's why I'm here. I want to make things right.

You?

You don't get to do sh*t.

I'm pulling two of your parlors...

East Hollywood and Van Nuys.

That's a fourth of my nut.

Look, I'm... I'm here, I'm apologizing.

She's an assh*le, I get it, but she's one of my top earners.

Not my problem.

I can fix this.

No, you can't.

'Cause you and her are gadje.

And gadje don't do bujo.

Only we do bujo.

Your sister knew that.

She's supposed to sit her fat ass on a chair that I paid for, do her palm readings, and collect money for services rendered.

She knew the rules.

She broke the rules, so she's got to pay.

You remember that ass kicking we gave you when you first came out here?

Yeah?

I still got arthritis from the bones you broke.

You were so f*cking naive, huh?

Rolling in from Vegas.

Like you and Linda could just set up shop.

[Chuckles]

What'd you say, huh?

What'd you say when I first knocked you out?

I didn't know gypsies were real.

Yeah. f*ck you.

'Cause it insults me, and it insults all Romany.

f*ck it.

What else you got for me?

I'm working on a couple of things, and I should have them, you know, in a week or two.

Week or two?

Charlie, I need you to produce.

You know how much it costs to look after my mother, two kids.

Not to mention these other pricks.

I know, and I'm on it. I'm on it.

If you can't produce...

I can.

...I got plenty of others champing at the bit to take over your book.

And none of them are gadji c**ts trying to f*ck me in the ass.

Sylvia's gonna have to come to council.

Council? What for?

Justice.

She's my sister, Fonso.

I don't give a f*ck.

Come here.

[Sighs]

Charlie boy, we're going to have sarmi and paprikash if you're hungry.

Thanks, Rita. I'm good.

Are you sure? I made it myself.

Pick a card, any card.

Woman from Cleveland out here to settle her father's estate.

Buy something nice for Linda.

Use it by day after tomorrow.

Jesus!

Making her go to council over a f*cking egg trick?

Well, she messed up. She always does.

Yeah. Still, it's bullshit.

He took two of our parlors... East Hollywood and Van Nuys.

That's a year of high school for Nick, those two parlors.

East Hollywood's no loss.

The Thais don't use us.

The Armenians would k*ll us if we got anything wrong.

And the junkies, well, they all know what their future is.

Van Nuys is gonna hurt.

Let me guess.

After he scolded you, he gave you a couple of credit cards?

[Car alarm chirps]

Yeah, same as usual.

All right. Be home soon.

[Cellphone clicking]

I got to call you back.

♪♪

[Car door closes]

Why the hell are you following me?

What the hell do you want?

Interfering piece of sh*t!

Why the f*ck did you tell Amanda I was cheating on her?!

[Tires squeal]

I want you awake for the next 14 hours.

You get nauseated, dizzy, start seeing double, you get someone to bring you back here.

Hey. Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm fine. It looks worse than it is.

And keep that dry.

He has a linear fracture along the frontal bone of his skull.

There doesn't seem to be any bleeding.

He has a mild concussion.

You told me.

"Try out your progressives at home first before you use them."

I stepped out of the car and the ground looked a mile away.

There's not much to do for the fracture but let it heal.

You'll have to keep a close eye.

There's a cliff effect with this kind of injury.

Cliff effect?

Cruising along, feeling fine, then suddenly... you go off a cliff.

I'll take care of him, Doctor.

My husband's not going off any cliffs.

[Sighs]

80 bucks a session for a tarot reading, you get your head kicked in.

Jealous boyfriends are a hazard of the trade.

Charlie.

What are we doing?

What?

We've been f*cking around with this small-time sh*t for 15 years.

I want to go after Nadine Davies.

Who?

The woman from San Marino.

Look at this.

[Cellphone beeps]

You followed her?

Look at that house. Look at that car.

She could go half a million.

Maybe more.

Mark like that... it's a new life for us.

I'll take it to Fonso.

What? You know how this works.

My sister did one bloody egg scam... one... short, nothing to it.

She had her head bashed in and she has to go to council.

This, what you're talking about, Fonso would have a hole in the Mojave Desert waiting for our two m*nled bodies.

It's not worth it.

Not worth it?

How it works is Fonso throws us scraps... if we're lucky.

You used to be somebody else, somebody who wouldn't settle for scraps.

Some people just don't want as much as you do.

'Cause they're b*tches.

And b*tches are assholes.

♪♪

Who's this?

Must be the hypnotist.

Hypnotist?

Greg Willamette from the Mirage recommended her.

Said she's fantastic.

I figured in case we're gonna have to get rid of Ted or something.

I guess my sister would be the "or something."

Hypnotist.

[Car door closes]

Craig still as hard to work for as ever?

Some people have problems with him.

We always got along.

Carlo still making the lion disappear?

[Chuckles] Craig said you built that trick.

I think it's amazing.

I sold that trick to Ford and they use it at auto conventions with a Mustang.

[Chuckles] Not a lion, of course.

I would think talent like yours, you'd still be in Vegas.

Wyrick builds his own.

Copperfield and Blaine, they use Wilner.

You're not on that level, it's mostly just cruise-ship magicians and conventions.

Cruise-ship guys, they don't get a lot of repeat business.

They just buy once.

Uh... conventions, well, these days, they're more into some old rock band from their glory days.

Would you like something to drink... water or a soft drink or something?

I'm really thirsty. [Clears throat]

You just think you're thirsty 'cause of your head.

Maybe it's just my head.

You want to tell me what happened?

If you want to get into this business, there will be some hazards.

Angry boyfriends, stuff like that.

I want to get into this business.

I have to admit, uh, I'm not a big believer in hypnosis in my line of work.

Your head doesn't hurt now.

No, my head doesn't hurt.

Client comes in for a reading.

The hypnotic state suggests a certain trust, a certain opening up, a certain surrender.

Yeah.

And you're thinking, maybe this once, you'll try a hypnotist.

Get the f*ck out of here.

My husband's vulnerable right now.

You come in here, you take advantage of that?

It's unethical.

Bring him out.

Now.

It's all right, Charlie.

Would you like something to drink... water or a soft drink or something?

If I can do this to him, imagine what I can do to your marks.

They're not marks. They're our valued clients.

Look, I've had a lot of experience in the supernatural.

I-I did a medium show in Reno for six months.

We don't talk to the dead.

And we don't hire potheads.

You're unreliable.

Lollipops?

Excuse me.

[Door closes]

Tell Greg we send our best.

Can I have my pot back?

No.

[Ticking]

[Water stops]

♪♪

Charlie?

What happened to you?

Oh, this? I'm... I'm fine.

Did Fonso do that to you?

No, no. Uh...

Can I talk to you for a minute?

It's not about business, is it?

That would mean you went over my son.

No, it's about my sister.

And she screwed up, and it's unfortunate.

You want to save her from council, don't you?

Yes. Rita, she is family, and if there's anybody who understands family, it's you.

Family? Family's more than blood.

Look. Look.

It's about honor.

It's about reputation, and I defend it the same way anyone would feed a snake... through sacrifice.

My parlors have earned for you, and I've never caused you a headache, and I've never kept a secret.

Now, if I've earned any amount of trust with you, let it count now.

My Fonso has ruled. There's nothing I can do.

Fonso is not the real boss.

You are, and I know that.

Careful, Charlie.

Perception is ours to play with, not yours.

Everybody likes you, Charlie. You're an honest liar.

You're about as good a man as any thief, so tonight when I go to bed and hit the pillow, I'll think about your sister.

That's it.

Thank you.

Charlie.

Don't ever appeal to my soft side again.

Some people get a lot of mileage about being good.

I don't.

[School bell rings]

[Indistinct conversations]

What'd you do to your head?

A man hit me because I told his girlfriend that he was cheating on her.

Was he?

He hit me hard enough. Seatbelt.

Katherine's a vegan now.

Can't use butter, chicken stock.

Can if you don't tell her.

That's disrespectful.

Katherine's a vegan now.

Can't use butter or chicken broth.

Can if you don't tell her.

That's disrespectful.

Dad.

Dad?

Dad?!

[Machine whirring]

Hey. What's going on?

Your dad got hit in the head.

Kicked, actually, earlier today.

He seemed fine, and then this afternoon, he collapsed in the grocery store.

Is he okay?

We're waiting to find out.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm okay.

Should I tell my mom?

We'll see what the report is.

They shouldn't have called you.

Hey.

How's your new job?

Boring as hell.

Bunch of computer geeks, but the money's good.

How are you feeling?

I'm right as rain. Sorry I scared you.

Yeah, well, you did.

So, the C. T. scan is normal, and there's no swelling or bleeding.

He's got baseline orientation, his pupils are equal.

Bone pictures still look good.

What does that mean?

It means your father's fine.

Why'd he fall on his face?

I don't know.

Medically, there's been no change.

Other than this, anything unusual happen today?

Not that I can think of.

Look, I'm gonna give you the name of a neurologist in case you want a consult.

She's a bit unorthodox, but head trauma's her specialty.

Now, these are discharge instructions.

No narcotics.

You want to keep him well-hydrated.

If he gets nauseous or dizzy, you got to come back and see me.

Otherwise, you are good to go.

Thanks, Doc.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, honey.

It's okay. Deep breaths.

Eight, seven, six, five.

This is good. This is what we're waiting for.

Oh, honey, it's okay. Deep breaths.

[Inhales deeply]

Eight...

Bitch, give me that pencil!

Give me that pencil! Give it to me!

No, you don't.

You did.

Pencil, bitch. Give me that pencil!

Give me that pencil! Give it to me!

The medical term is cholesteatoma.

You would be surprised how much the brain depends on good hearing.

The medical term is cholesteatoma.

You would be surprised how much the brain depends on good hearing.

So, in very simple terms, you just have a little bit of extra skin growing in the middle of your ear.

Dad?

What's wrong?

[Telephone ringing]

Hmm?

Oh.

Uh... nothing.

Uh, nothing. I was... I was just, um...

How's, uh... How's your new job?

Why don't you take your brother home?

Yeah. Why?

Uh, your dad and I just need to go see someone.

Okay.

[Knock on door]

Hey.

What? Ow!

Ow!

f*ck, dude!

I really do need to know what you did to my husband.

[Muffled scream]

f*ck yeah, that is nice.

You know what, don't tell me.

I could stay here all night.

You put some sort of whammy on me, didn't you?

Just a little suggestion. For later.

And then I'd what, collapse in a supermarket?

What? No.

That's it. Don't tell.

[Muffled grunting]

I swear.

I swear.

I just, you know, wanted to open him up a bit.

I was gonna call tonight, a few key words, and you would decide to hire me.

And then when you got angry about it, I would say what I said before.

If I can make Charlie hire me, imagine what I could do to the marks.

That's it? You didn't program me to go off like some kind of time b*mb?

I don't have those kinds of skills.

Hold her tight.

Oh, no, no. We're done.

She didn't do this.

I'm not done.

Linda.

Next time, I'll bring more toys.

Ow! f*ck!

You could've let me go further, you know?

With the hypnotist.

Didn't seem necessary.

Could've had a lot more fun.

[Sighs]

You worried about the Gypsy council?

Yeah. We got to get going.

[Spitting]

♪♪

[Off-key] ♪ It's a heartache ♪
♪ Nothin' but a heartache ♪
♪ Hits you when it's too late ♪
♪ Hits you when you're down ♪

What the hell?

Angry boyfriend.

Ah. Been there.

Of course, if it had been me, you wouldn't be sitting up.

But you're okay?

Yeah. Small concussion or something.

Oh. How many fingers?

[Chuckles]

Hey.

Hey, Drina. Come here.

You let Nick drink?

He's too young. Hasn't come up yet.

She's younger.

Harvard f*ckin' Westlake, huh?

All those Hollywood kids, they're a bad influence.

Ahh.

Where's your sister?

I don't know. Maybe she's hitting the scotch.

[Chuckles] Go to your room.

♪ It's a fool's game ♪
♪ Nothin' but a fool's game ♪

What do you think about the shower of spit?

It's an old Gypsy tradition.

Dates back, uh... to this morning when I made it up.

You people scare me.

[Chuckling] Oh, well.

That's pretty much the point, yeah?

Your sister's not done.

We're letting her go.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I meant.

Fonso said you wouldn't...

Oh, I love my son, but he's a p*ssy.

Come.

Come.

♪ It ain't wise to need someone ♪
♪ Oh, as much as I depended on you ♪

Charlie.

What the hell? Charlie!

Charlie!

♪ Oh, it's a heartache ♪

Charlie? Charlie? Charlie?

Charlie!

We are the Marks family. We are Machvaya.

We don't want you to forget who we are.

♪ It's a fool's game ♪

Charlie!

♪ Standin' in the cold, cold rain ♪

[Screaming]

♪ You feel like a clo-o-wn ♪
♪ Hea-a-a-rtache ♪

[Sobbing]

She knew the rules.

Gonna be a hell of a w*r wound.

You just stood there. My own f*cking brother.

It's the world we live in, Sylvia.

You know what that was about.

That was that c**t reminding us to stay in our place.

We got to get away from those people.

I've told you more than once what you can do, what was off limits.

f*ck your limits. You set your goals too low.

Aim low, you never get hurt.

Aim low, you never get sh*t.

At least customers like a scar.

Lends to the mystery.

You are out of the business.

You don't have the temperament.

I see a chance, I take it.

Like I said.

I don't get my parlor back?

You're going back to Vegas first thing tomorrow.

[Rap music playing over car radio]

[g*nshots]

So, you've asked me to bring something of my son's.

I've got it right here.

Charlie.

[Ticking]

Charlie?

Yeah.

This is his favorite shirt.

What do you do with that, anyway?

Sometimes it just gives me a sense of what we're dealing with.

Sometimes that's enough.

Your son's a Judas Priest fan?

It's my fault.

I'm a classic-rock guy.

The medical term is cholestea...

He used to dance up a storm to "Devil's Child."

Now he's not so into music.

[Tires screech]

Get down!

Linda, get away from the window!

[g*nshots]

Stay down.

sh*t.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Linda, you okay?

Yeah. You?

Yeah.

You should go, and we'll... we'll take care of this.

Check his hearing.

What?

Your son doesn't have Asperger's.

He has something in his ear that's causing him a lot of hearing loss.

No sh*t?

No sh*t.

I won't forget this. Any of this.

What do we tell the police?

I got this.

He drives a white van.

Says "Firm and Tight" on the side, big muscle arm.

Amanda Tims is his girlfriend. She'll know where to find him.

So, we pick this guy up, you'll testify?

Of course.

All right.

[Police radio chatter]

You all right?

I don't get it.

You save the guy's life, then you throw it all away?

Ear infection?

What if you're right?

I am right.

Asperger's cure could've run for a few months.

Well, maybe it won't hurt to have a gangster on our side.

[Siren wails in distance]

♪♪
♪ All day blazed ♪
♪ I wonder ♪
♪ If through grace, I find the new high I wanted ♪
♪ Could it be you? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

Best year we ever had.

$96,000.

Go over to Fonso's house, there are half a dozen cars that cost more than that sitting in his driveway.

I feel your pain.

He used to be another man, my Charlie.

You should've seen him.

You always burn people the first time you meet them?

Hm.

Only when I want to leave a mark.

Glad you didn't bring your husband this time.

So, the guy who sh*t up the house was the angry boyfriend?

The same guy who kicked you in the head?

Seems like it.

What do you mean, seems like it?

Your mother and I work with some unhappy people.

That's the nature of any self-help industry.

Especially one based on bullshit.

Hey, that bullshit puts clothes on your back and food on the table.

Why can't you just have a normal job [Door opens, closes] where people aren't trying to k*ll you?

Nick, we were victims of a crime.

The important thing is you weren't home and your mom and I are fine.

Tell that to the mailman.

Gumbo's still hot.

I'm good.

Hey, why don't you give your mom and I a minute, okay?

I got homework.

Is he all right?

Yeah. See how it had to be his idea to leave the room?

Ah.

What's this?

Nadine Davies is married to Adam Davies, president and C. E. O. of Playa Verde Capital, which owns offices and shopping centers throughout the country.

Nadine Davies herself, former Nadine Kirby, daughter of Preston Kirby.

He made his millions, as far as I can tell, in oil and gas.

She and her husband were married at the Bel Air Country Club in 1991, of which Adam is now president.

Meaning?

We have a very big whale on our hands.

Thank you very much.

I want to take her down.

What about Fonso?

Those his-and-hers holes that he has waiting for us in the desert.

I'll handle him.

What happened to you?

I'm done being someone's bitch.

♪♪
♪ Keep in the dark and just stay out of the light ♪
♪ Keep in the dark, just stay out of the light ♪
♪ Keep in the dark, just stay out of the light ♪
♪ Just staying in the sunshine ♪
♪ La-ah-ah ♪
♪ La-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
♪ La-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
♪ La-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪