03x04 - Avventura Romantica

[bunniefuu]

♪♪(harp)

Man: We got a special treat for you tonight.

Our original bassist and founding Stain, Cynthia Taylor's here tonight.

(cheering, applause)

1, 2, 3, 4...

♪♪(rock)

♪ I looked at you and I saw trouble ♪
♪ And I came running on the double ♪
♪ I made myself somebody's breakfast ♪
♪ So comfortable upon that plate ♪
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
♪ I do not know where this began ♪
♪ But I'm out of this flight to hell ♪
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
♪ Ah-ah ♪
♪♪(rock)

(indistinct chatter)

Hey.

Just like old times, right?

Huh. Yeah, minus the rage.

That's true, we were both f*ckin' maniacs.

(laughs)

What's wrong with your hand?

Tweaked it.

Can I get you a drink?

No, I'm good. I'd love to, but I've gotta wake up with the kids.

(chuckles)

It's good seeing you, Cyn.

Yeah.

All right! Nailed it.

Ah-ah! Ah-ah!

Did you?

Yeah, of course.

Bartender: Last call. Last call for drinks.

You were amazing.

It was only five chords.

It's not exactly Mozart. Let's go someplace else.

Where to?

I have an idea. Come on.

Come on.

We're taking the Uber.

Oh.

All right.

(door opens)

(whispering)

Shh. Okay? Shh, shh, shh.

They didn't change the locks.

Shh.

Cynthia: Dee Dee, you got anything?

Dee Dee: Absolutely.

Go on in.

(whispering) Tanya.

There it is.

Wow.

Home.

Tanya: Wow.

Cynthia: I've even got the whiskey.

(laughing)

Dee Dee.

Yeah.

What was the name of that guy, that trumpet player that subbed?

Which one?

The one... Big blond guy...

Terrible flatulence.

Himmelfart.

(laughing)

He... Only man in the world who could blow a trumpet out of his ass.

(laughing)

See that?

What's his real name?

Himmelfarb.

What?

Thomas J. Himmelfarb, London Philharmonic.

Wh... How did you remember that?

I slept with him.

Oh, gross.

God, really?

Real cute.

Oh, yeah. Cute.

(laughing)

One of my girls called me a loser yesterday.

Oh, man. I'm sure she didn't mean it.

Oh, no. She definitely did.

Dee Dee, how you doin' anyway?

Everything's good.

And my wife just, uh, kicked me out.

What?

Oh, Dee Dee.

It's okay. There's a... There's a gas station nearby that has a very, very nice bathroom.

I'm reliving my 40s.

All these different people getting into my car.

It just... It's a reminder of how connected we all are.

You know, it's really nice. It's actually pretty cool.

That's cool.

Yeah. And, um...

I met a nice woman.

Yeah?

Yeah, she only had a 4.6.

I'd never say it, but I think it's because she drank a lot of water...

Virgil goes to work...

And I'm just there with the baby.

I want to scream.

(phone rings)

Oh! Shh, shh. Be quiet.

Hi, honey.

(laughing)

No, no, the concert's over and I'm at a bar.

Well, it's a silent bar.

(snickering)

Yeah, it's a trend now.

f*ck!

Oh.

Shh!

They allow dogs in here it turns out.

(grunting)

Gah! Get out!

Oh, sh*t.

Damnit!

Warren, you okay?

(clattering)

Warren.

Uh, losing service. I'm gonna... I'm gonna have to call you back.

Bye.

Uh-oh.

Interlopers!

Warren. Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no!

Warren, stop this.

Oh, my...

They don't belong here!

Cynthia: The bubble machine is not the problem.

Turn that off.

Man's Voice: Gazillon bubble show.

Dee Dee, what are you doing?

Man's Voice: Featuring Melody Yang.

All right, I'll get it.

Get up, Bob.

Dee Dee: Turn the lights on, maybe that'll help.

I know where the lights are.

That was the fire alarm!

Come on.

Ah, and now goes the sprinklers.

Cynthia: Can you turn it off?

Warren, baby, we gotta go.

Warren, come on.

It's time to go home.

Tanya, this way, come on guys.

Dee Dee.

Come on.

Let's go, go, we gotta go.

We gotta get out.

(alarm blaring)

Man: (singing in Italian)

I don't want to move my head, because I was just...

I was just dreaming what we did last night.

I've been dreaming about it all the time, and I go over and over it again.

(sighs)

It was...

You are okay?

Alessandra?

(rattling)

Alessandra?

Oh.

♪♪

(whispering) Alessandra?

Buon giorno.

Buon giorno.

Hey, Alessandra... Hai Lai...

Yeah?

Have you seen Alessandra?

Uh, no, I thought that she was coming with you.

No, no, she's not coming with me.

I don't know.

Hey, buon giorno, Vlad. Alessandra?

Andata.

Andata? Andata?

Putamadre, andata?

Hailey: What's andata?

Ai.

What's andata?

Ai.

Okay, fine, I can Google it.

Woman: She's gone.

She's gone?

Oh, f*ck.

Putamadre.

Maestro.

Si.

We are ready to begin.

Si, si, si, si.

Si.

You! What have you done?

Where is she?

She left in the boat.

What did you do? Huh?

You made love to her. After I told you no fornicata, please, no fornicata, and you did fornicate, didn't you?

Who uses that word anymore?

Nobody. Right? Nobody.

And si. Si, andiamo fornicato, but it was beautiful. It was mature, it was eccentric, it was athletic, it was artistic!

You should have seen it, it was incredible.

What's the problem with that?

I should have told her the moment she said your name.

No! Not that one! Anyone else!

He's a devil with beautiful eyes!

Why are you so dramatic?

Why? Why, why, why, Hai Lai?

Why am I surrounded by these dramatic people all the time, why?

Okay. All right. Come on. Get up.

(sobbing)

Get up. Come on.

Maestro, Maestro, I am very sorry but we must rehearse.

Why?

Just breathe. Just breathe.

Ai... Ai!

Did you really sleep with her?

Of course I did! We just slept once!

Okay. Okay, no...

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. Nothing's wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with that, right?

I mean, what's wrong is the... this thing of, like, you... you can't do this, you can't do this sh*t.

What are you, her father?

No.

I'm her husband.

What?

Yeah!

For two weeks 15 years ago.

The marriage was annulled, eh...

She changed her mind. She's like that.

But that is not the problem.

The problem is when she makes love.

She loses her voice. Capito?

How?

Ha...

You have to get her to come back.

I don't care about the money.

She is the only thing I care about. She has to sing.

She never going to be happy if she doesn't sing.

Yes, yes, okay, Beppi. Where would she go if she was running away?

Torcello.

Torcello.

The place where she grew up is there.

I will find you a boat, but hurry, eh? Hurry.

Okay, okay. Vamos, Hai Lai.

Okay, okay.

(speaking Italian)

Maestro.

Si.

We are ready.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

(sighs)

No.

Compañeros, I'm... I'm in a little bit of a... of a situation right now.

So I have to be absent for a few minutes, okay?

But I leave you in the capable hands of my associate, Hai Lai Rutledge.

Okay, she's very good. Come, come, Hai Lai.

Yes. She's very good. She plays with the blood.

She knows what I want. Ciao.

I do? Okay.

Yes.

No, I'm not ready for this.

Hai Lai, what? Yes, you are.

You wanted an opportunity, okay, you have to take it.

This is the type of opportunity you need, okay?

Take it. Take it. Come on. (vocalizing)

Can you just give me a... a slight bit more detail about what...

Okay, okay.

It has to be very staccato, you know?

It has to be like the wings of, um... um...

Of a hummingbird.

No, no.

Hurry, please.

Si, si, si. Si, si.

Of, um...

Of a plane?

No, no, okay. In the piu animato...

Okay.

To the presto, okay? It has to be tight.

It has to be together, okay? It can't be separate.

Okay. All right.

All right? And in bar 129...

Oh. Ah! Rodrigo, thank God.

Gloria. What the...

Thank God, Rodrigo, things are spiraling What are you doing here?

.. dangerously out of control.

Out of control completely. I have to go. Sorry.

Yes, it's very dangerous.

No, no!

Hello, Gloria. Okay, so wait.

The piu animato to bar 129...

Ah, yeah, 129, okay.

Just... You can do this, Hai Lai, everything is in my score, okay?

Just try to make it, like, as French as possible, like trying to pretend to be Spanish, okay?

A French person...

A French person trying to be Spanish. Okay.

Okay, okay. Bye-bye.

What's all this kerfuffle?

Maestro.

Ha. Ha. Ha!

A mano.

So good to see you.

Yeah, I... I... I have a thing tonight.

Si, si, si. Si.

Yes.

I did try to call you about this.

I heard about it, but I have to go because I have a...

Diva on the loose.

Rodrigo, stop running, you bloody w*nk*r!

Rodrigo: w*nk*r? What's a w*nk*r?

You know perfectly well what a bloody w*nk*r is, you bloody w*nk*r.

What? What the...

Rodrigo, please!

Vai, vai, vai!

You have to come back.

The family is dying.

If there is no music, there is no family.

The family's broken, the spell is broken!

No! No! What do you mean the spell is broken?

Follow that boat. Follow that boat.

(panting) The spell goes on and on and on, Rodrigo, please, you have to come back!

♪ La donna e mobile ♪
♪ Quai piuma al vento ♪

Stop! Stop!

Sit, sit. Sit right... Sit, sit there.

Rodrigo. Stop! If you don't come back, I'm going to resign!

I don't believe you. I don't believe you, Gloria.

I don't believe that.

I may do worse.

I agree. He is a bloody w*nk*r.

Do I know you?

Rodrigo, I came all the way from New York to talk to you.

Presto, presto! Presto!

(panting)

(chatter)

Hello. So, uh, the Maestro just briefed me, and he... he told me everything that I need to know, so, um, yeah, I just want to say, um...

It's a real honor to be in front of a group of such outstanding musicians.

Excuse me, which piece are we to start with?

Oh, um, "Chanson Boheme."

And we practice with La Fiamma?

Uh, no, we can't, actually, because we need to do this.

And where is she?

Um, it's actually really good that we have this opportunity, because we have this whole musical intro before the vocal melody.

If we could do it this time, um, like, uh, very light, uh, very fast, like... like a hummingbird. Like a...

Perhaps, young lady, we try first, and then you adjust?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Sorry.

Okay, huh? All right.

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...

♪♪

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...

Okay, okay, uh, let's stop, actually.

That was great. I think, though, that we can be lighter and faster, um, more bird-like, and also, uh, French.

Like, just more French.

(speaking Italian)

(chuckling)

(flutes playing "La Marseillaise")

(laughs) Okay. Um... all right.

Everything okay?

Yeah, absolutely fine.

Okay, cool. Let's do it again.

♪♪

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...

Uh-uh, stop, stop. It still feels a little slow.

Um... Hey, uh, can I actually borrow your oboe?

(speaking Italian)

Miss America, Miss Mickey Mouse...

(speaking Italian)

(laughter)

She said she understands.

I heard Mickey Mouse. Okay.

You know what? Let's come back to this.

Um, okay, so we are going to skip ahead to the coda.

Let's take it from piu animato, uh, figure number 13.

Okay?

(chatter)

All right. 1, 2,3...

♪♪

(mouthing)

Okay, um, yeah, let's stop.

Stop. Stop.

Okay, can we stop? Guys, stop.

Okay, listen to me. Guys, can you please listen to me?

(baton tapping)

Will you please listen to me?

I really don't want to be yelling right now.

(cymbals crashing)

Please listen to me!

Do me a favor and please take this from me.

I have no f*cking idea what I'm doing, okay?

You've been bloodied. Happens to everyone.

Hey, get right back up there.

♪♪

Silencio!

Right.

This is one of my favorite pieces.

Please try not to ruin it. Are we ready?

♪♪

(no audible dialog)

What's your problem?

Every time you try to conduct, the musicians just stop playing.

Why did this one stop singing?

Is it because you're such a terrible lover?

Mm, no, it's actually because of the opposite.

Yeah. But you... you wouldn't know, you wouldn't know about these things.

I do know, and I tell you one thing.

If this concert doesn't happen, none of the guys are gonna trust you to conduct their work.

Which guys?

You know.

Like, you mean, "the guys"?

We all talk.

Mierda.

♪♪

Alessandra!

(g*nsh*t)

(speaks Spanish)

(quacking)

(g*nsh*t)

(g*nsh*t)

Alessandra.

(quacking)

Alessandra. Hey.

(blowing duck call)

You speak?

No?

What... What are you doing in a barrel?

Hiding.

From me?

From the ducks.

(quacking)

(g*nsh*t)

So, uh, how's your voice? Is it okay?

My voice?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't it be?

Well, Beppi said that when you make love, that... that...

Oh. (chuckles)

Beppi believes everything.

I told him that once as an excuse so I could cancel a performance at La Scala.

(laughing)

Wow. That's so good.

That's a good one.

Well, um, talking about performing, we have a rehearsal going on right now.

You know, I think we should get back.

No. I'm not going to sing.

Why?

Why? Why not? Why... This is crazy.

Why not? Why?

Because for you, it is just a concert.

And after it is over, no matter how I sing, you will go back to your family, to your orchestra.

Family, orch... Wh... What orchestra are you talking about?

I know they're on strike.

Yes!

Everyone knows they're on strike.

Well, now I'm on strike, too.

No! No, you can't. No. You must sing.

Why?

Because the world needs you.

(scoffs) But they already have me with all those recordings.

What they want is the spectacle.

If I sing beautifully, it is good.

If I'm terrible, it is even better.

They can say I was there when La Fiamma b*rned.

Yes, but b*rned... b*rned like a phoenix, baby.

Okay? I'm gonna make sure of that.

When we first met, you told me there is just one reason to do something important.

Yes.

So tell me.

What is the reason?

Love.

Love is the reason.

Love!

Yes.

You love just the music and yourself.

No! No, no! I love... I love a lot.

I love a lot. I love you!

I love you even more.

You love me more than yourself?

Yes, because, you know, there's days I don't like myself so much.

I love you more!

But why should I trust you?

You left your orchestra. You will leave me.

(speaking Italian)

You will stay with me even if there is a world tour?

Maybe.

Maybe.

Ai.

Maybe!

Darling, come on.

You see?

You don't love me.

No, I love you!

I love you! Come here.

I love you. We have a performance tomorrow, and we have a rehearsal right now.

Come on, let's just go. Okay?

You love me?

I love you.

Of course I love you.

You love me.

Te amo.

(moaning)

♪♪(oboe)

♪♪

(people chanting)

♪♪(electronic)

(chanting)

Thomas, look. I brought your cheering section.

My rehearsal was cancelled, so I'm here to party.

And they're going crazy out there.

Yeah, yeah, you wait 'til I get out there.

Dead silence.

What, are you nervous? That's so sweet.

Yeah, well, I'm a little bit nervous.

I mean, I'm nervous to sh*t my pants in front of the teenage Gestapo.

No, don't you worry. You look great.

No, you look terrific. You're gonna be great.

Wait. Wait a minute. Are you two a thing?

No! Yes.

No. No.

No, no.

Yes.

No, no, what you're seeing is a perfectly healthy professional relationship.

Sure. We're f*cking.

(gasps)

Have been for months. Great.

You're beautiful, and you're marvelous.

Woman: Signor, pronti.

Ah, grazie. I... I have...

Listen, um, I'm sorry, Gloria.

The cat's out of the bag now.

We can't do anything about it.

It's true.

But I'm so happy for you.

Well, well, thank you, thank you.

So am I.

Danny: Maestro Thomas Pembridge, ladies and gentlemen.

(cheering)

Danny: You want to say something?

Oh, sure.

Here, here.

(clears throat) Yes, well, I feel that I'm, uh, bridging the gap between the classical music, Beethoven, Mozart, and all those great masters, with, uh, robots.

(electronic b*at)

Oh, uh, I see, that's the end of it, is it?

All right, thank you.

Just play a couple bars...

Mm-hm.

And I'll grab a loop, and then, um...

Oh, what does that mean?

You know, you can riff or you can, uh...

Grab a loop?

Yeah, yeah, don't worry.

Oh, okay.

♪♪(electronic)

(cheering)

♪♪(continues)

Thomas's Voice: Martians, if you're listening...

All: Welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers! Yeeha!

Thomas's Voice: Martians, if you're listening...

All: Welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Thomas: They seem to know the words.

Yeah, yeah, I released it last week.

It's number one in Korea already.

♪♪(continues)

All: Yeeha!

All: Yeeha!

(cheering)

Yeeha!

♪♪

Thomas's Voice: Martians, if you're listening...

(cheering)

(thudding)

All: Ohh!

♪♪

Thomas: Martians, if you're listening... welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Martians, if you're listening...

All: Welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Welcome to the world, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Thomas: Yeeha!

Yeeha!

Martians, if you're listening, go f*ck yourself!

Yeeha!

♪♪

Listen to this, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Listen to this, m*therf*ckers!

♪♪

Yeeha!

♪♪

You m*therf*ckers! (laughing)

Oh, man.

(overlapping dialog)

Thomas: Two hours. What?

Danny: We can use that in the track, the m*therf*ckers.

Thomas: No, no, don't use that.

No, no, no, I don't want my public to...

Danny: Yeah. No. (laughing)

Thomas: Hear me being so profane.

Danny: No, it's super cool, man.

Thomas: Really? You m*therf*ckers!

(laughing)