01x10 - Snake Man and Little Guy

[bunniefuu]

Gerry: I've been trying to make contact for years.

You know why I didn't tell you about my experience? 'Cause I never had one.

Kurt d*ed trying to clean up your mess.

You disgust me.

If you love something... you should do it.

I have feelings for a woman!

It's Chelsea.

Gina: We should take a break.

It doesn't really feel like group anymore.

So, our next meeting is TBD.

Ozzie: I thought I had an answer, and now I have more questions.

Nancy: Empathize with this.

♪ ♪

Don: Jeff, I have a confession.

I haven't worked in two months.

I'm in love with a subject and I didn't erase her mind.

There has been no erasing.

I just can't bear to erase...

Shut up!

I'm in the middle of something.

I'm about to k*ll Gina.

[Doorbell rings]

Hey, Gina, can we talk?

Gina: Whatever.

Don: I guess you can't k*ll her now... that 28409 has shown up.

Ozzie: I could really use your help. I think I'm having a breakthrough.

Well, haven't you heard?

I don't do "helping people with breakthroughs" anymore.

The group is over.

Everyone's taking a break.

This is even better.

I can k*ll both of them.

But they're living beings.

Wha... You need commission approval.

Please, shut up!

You're chipping in my time for k*lling people.

Ozzie: Look, I'm sorry to hear about the group.

[Beep]

Wait... buffering?

What? Yeah.

What the hell is this?

Piece of... [Spits]

Piece of garbage! Come on!

I'm going to look at my files.

Work!

Why would you buffer on this day?

I could really use your help trying to figure out these drawings of mine.

[Sighing]

No offense, but you are a really bad artist.

No, I did these when I was a kid.

I think it has something to do with my experience.

Whoa! You're drunk.

No, I'm not... [Sniffles]

Okay, we should get you some food.

[Beep]

Aha, aha!

Succe... No!

Oh!

[Phone rings]

John: Hello?

Hi, honey, it's me.

I was just calling to tell you that I miss you.

[Woman laughing on phone]

What was that?

John: Nothing, I'm... just watching TV.

Oh... so how's the, how's the trip going?

Trip's good. Gotta stay an extra ten days to make sure this deal closes. I'll call you in a couple of days.

John...

[Phone disconnects]

[Loud horn honk]

[Tires screech]

Richard?

What were you doing out there in the middle of nowhere?

Nancy took my car.

But she must've been so upset that she just, you know, left me behind like that.

And... she's not returning my texts.

Richard, can I, can I give you some friendly advice?

After my husband d*ed, I was so eager to be back in love that I let people take advantage of me.

Yeah, I think if I can just prove to Nancy that there's nothing going on between Gina and I, everything would be fine.

Why would you think there's something going on between you and Gina?

I'm just going to have Gina clear this all up.

Drop me off at Gina's house.

Oh.

[Crickets chirping]

[indistinct police radio]

Hey, Glimmer, can I ask you something?

sh**t.

How do you make it, as a human, without a lot of money?

Hmm.

Pretty much Top Ramen.

It's a meal that you can buy for, like, around 18 cents.

Top Ramen's gonna be your best friend.

Is that what you eat?

Yeah.

Two divorces...

$35,000 in gambling debts.

That's why I'm working with you guys.

[Softly] Wow.

[Knocking]

Hey, hi, hi, Glimmer.

Hey, Don.

So, uh, Jeff's in a very bad place.

He's about to m*rder two subjects...

12738 and 284709.

Ozzie? Where are they?

In Gina's house.

I went to Beacon when I was a kid and I disappeared.

So what do you want from me?

Clearly I'm blocking something and I need you to do, like, some serious stuff... not the crap we were doing in group, like, really drill in there and just...

[Vocalizes expl*si*n]

There is a type of therapy.

It's, it's more aggressive than what we do in group.

It was my specialty when I lived in New York.

Great, let's do it.

But I can't do it.

Why not?

[Whispering] Because I k*lled someone.

Wait... what?

I was pushing this patient to face his fears... fear of intimacy, fear of heights.

They don't sound like they were linked, but they were linked.

[Shouting] She believes in me!

[Thud]

Anyway, I couldn't deal with my guilt.

I drank too much, I lost my practice, I moved here and... you know, then I had my experience.

You had your experience after your patient d*ed?

Well, pretty soon after, yeah.

This could be the link... trauma followed by an alien experience.

What if we're inventing our experiences as a coping mechanism for the trauma in our lives?

Ooh!

Or aliens are choosing to abduct us when we're at our most emotionally vulnerable.

Oh!

If we can figure out what happened to me, we can figure out what happened to all of us.

I just really don't want to k*ll anyone again.

Yeah, you shouldn't.

[Eerie music]

[Crickets chirping]

Jeff?

[Door closes]

I know you're here.

Hello, Jonathan.

Oh, there you are.

You ready to do this?

Yeah.

Okay, so this looks right.

Ozzie: Yeah.

I'm sorry, Gina, this is ridiculous.

Ozzie, do not get off that horsey.

Walk me through everything you remember from that day.

All right, my parents were fighting, they were lost.

They bought me a grape soda.

Now take a sip of your soda.

Trigger something?

No, but this is delicious.

Why'd I stop drinking this?

Oh, 44 grams of sugar, that's why.

Are you ready?

Do we have to?

Yes, we do, we need to ride the horsey.

How else are you gonna experience it?

[Coin clatters, upbeat music playing]

Anything?

This song...

I remember hating this song.

[Whooshing]

[Slow music playing]

I remember.

I got off the horsey and I went into the store towards a door in the back.

Okay, dismount, let's go!

Okay.

Um, careful... don't hurt yourself!

Okay, no, I got it.

You're breaking up with me?

I think you're the most magnificent being on this planet.

But it's distressing my job, it's-it's crushing me.

I had no idea that the Remarkable Bean was such a pressure cooker.

Yeah, they're tough.

So that's the reason we have to break up.

Yeah.

And, uh, and my, my mother is dying... of a disease... back home, in Iceland.

[Sighing]

Yeah, you know, it's a lot of things going on right now.

Well, you should really go be with her.

Yeah, I would, but it's my job and...

I... you know, I'll miss you.

I will miss you a lot.

I'll miss you too.

Why don't I go with you?

Screw your job.

This is your mother, Don.

Your, your "Muth-er."

It's your family. What's more important?

Some stupid job or the people you love?

The people I love.

Yeah.

I've got nothing going on for me here.

I'm a temp at a funeral home, you know?

And I've always wanted to go to Europe.

Iceland.

We should do this, you know, and I... I think you're really special.

You do?

Yeah, of course.

You know, yeah, let's do it.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay!

Yeah.

[Laughing]

This is... this is happening.

What are you doing here? What's your plan?

I am avenging Kurt's death, and you're getting in my way.

Okay, you know that's against the rules.

The rules no longer apply.

The Main Station's almost here.

We're all going to be... Bathed in human blood tomorrow.

I'm doing them a favor, putting them out of their misery before the real sh*t starts.

So they won't have to see their loved ones mining ore.

Jonathan: Well let's take a b*at and check in.

You know, measure twice, cut once?

Jeff?

[Thunk, gears whirring]

Sorry, Nancy, I had to do it.

[Crackling]

Oh, rats.

[Knocking on door]

Can I come in?

Of course.

[Chelsea sniffles]

I think my husband is cheating on me.

Oh...

Are you sure?

He's always away on business, and he never calls me, and when he is home, he's so distant.

I think my marriage is over.

Maybe it's just a bump in the road.

Yeah, maybe.

I'm sorry... to bother you with this.

I know you're... taking a break from all this priest stuff right now.

[Clears throat]

It's okay, Chelsea.

I'm also your friend.

Uh-oh.

And remember to be a good listener, and speak from your heart, because that's the way you're gonna be...

Bye, Margaret.

Bye!

Nancy?

Oh, she's with a man!

I always knew we'd end up here.

Aah!

Jeff, I know about you and Kurt, okay?

It's cool, interspecies, it's not a big deal.

You keep that name out of your mouth!

[Screams]

[Gasps]

Oh, sh*t, wait a second, that's Walsh.

Are they having an affair?

At Gina's house?

This is the door.

[Eerie whooshing]

It's definitely giving off some strong vibes.

[Whispering] You have to go in there.

All right, I'll distract him.

Figure out a way to open that lock and get in there.

Excuse me, sir, I'm, uh, I'm looking for a good, uh, quinoa.

Oh, yeah.

[Register beeps]

Can I also add some women's deodorant, and um, some lottery tickets...

[Loud banging]

Um...

Did you hear that?

No, nothing.

God, I need condoms, cigarettes, batteries and beef jerky.

Really?

[Eerie music]

[Door slams shut]

[Steam whooshing]

Louis, I gotta say this one's on you, first of all.

Yeah.

Okay, buddy?

There's a sign... it says "Employees Only."

Well, now we're going to have to k*ll him.

You always want to k*ll 'em.

No, no, no...

Of course I always want to k*ll 'em.

Listen, let's take him to the ship.

Hey...

Hi, I'm Snake Man.

Where is he? Ozzie!

Ozzie!

Come on, come out!

Man: Hold it right there.

Rough night, huh?

Gerry: Hey, Ozzie, I'm in the car.

I'm actually going to a business meeting.

Is it urgent?

Yeah?

All right, I'll be there.

[Phone chimes]

Text Yvonne.

[Phone chimes]

"Hey e Von running tiny boat lake see you ace app."

Oh, okay.

All right.

Gerry, my mother had hundreds of these alien drawings that I did.

I've been to Beacon before.

I was abducted as a child!

Holy crap.

If you were abducted as a child, that means they've been...

Yep.

No.

You know what? I meant it when I said I'm out.

I've wasted too much time chasing alien stuff.

Wasted? Gerry, this is your life!

No, not anymore.

This is my life now.

I'm in the insurance game, like my old man.

You're an alientologist, Gerry. Come on.

No, I put away childish things.

Call me if you need comprehensive coverage.

What?

Wha... wait, Gerry, you're gonna miss it.

Gina's gonna put me under hypnosis.

Hypnosis, Gerry! You love hypnosis!

Gerry: I'm done with that.

I chase real things now... like money.

I mean, this kind of thing happens all the time, right?

I'm married, you're a priest.

Lots of married people develop feelings for priests, right?

Nope, this is wrong.

Totally, totally wrong.

Of course it is.

You're right, okay.

No, I never should've never come back here.

[Mumbling]

Margaret, it's Richard from the group.

Oh, hello, Richard!

I'm outside a window.

I'm peeping at Nancy.

She's with that Walsh guy that used to be Ozzie's boss.

Do you think she's in love with him?

I don't know, Richard, I have no idea. Maybe she's breaking up with him.

Oh!

Yeah, right... so Nancy and I could be together.

[Slap, Richard gasps]

She just slapped him!

She is breaking up with him!

[Slap]

That bastard just slapped her!

Richard? Richard?

Who the hell... I lost visual.

[Thudding]

[Nancy groaning]

Jeff: Ow, ow, ow, ow...

Richard: You stupid... little sh*t!

No!

[Banging on door]

It's over, Jeff.

I win.

Wrong again.

Computer voice: Initiating self-destruct sequence.

Oh, no.

Five, four,

three, two,

[Grunts]

Nancy, I'm here!

one.

[Loud expl*si*n, glass shatters]

Okay, relax.

Concentrate on my finger.

Last time this only took a... [Moans] second.

Really, unbelievably fast.

What happened after the grocery store contact?

Share with me what you see.

Ozzie: I'm with the snake man from my drawing.

Gina: Where are you?

We're in a corridor.

There are people being led in and out... grown-ups, children.

Where is the corridor? Is it in the Beacon?

We're on a ship.

Oh, my God. You've been abducted before.

You're a lifer.

Okay, Ozzie, what else do you see?

What else is happening on the ship?

There's a girl, she's wearing a softball jersey, it says "Cardinals."

What else do you see?

On the back, number eight, "Morrison."

[Loud slap]

Ow!

Did you just say "Morrison"?

Yeah.

That's my last name.

Did you play softball in high school?

Yes.

Oh, my God. I'm freaking out.

Do you have a picture?

Uh, yeah.

Throwback Thursday.

Is that the person you saw?

Yeah.

That's her.

Whoa.

Holy sh*t.

[Electricity crackling]

[Eerie music]

You're...

Don, pick up!

I need you to go to Gina's house to tell me what happened.

I lost signal.

Computer voice: Docking. Docking.

Oh. They're here.

Docking. Docking.

Okay, they're here.

Um, oh, boy.

Oh, oh, I can't believe they're here.

Oh, my God!

Ahhh!

[Panting]

Breathe, just breathe... just breathe.

You're gonna do great, you're gonna do this.

[Mumbling]

Welcome, Commanders!

Everything is going according to...

Who the [bleep] are you?

Ramen's ready.

The first one's on the house.

Mmm!

There's clean towels in the hallway closet if you need 'em.

Uh, you're... okay.

[Beep, whirring]

k*ll 28409, Ozzie Graham.

No, Nancy.

We don't k*ll Ozzie Graham.

We're not k*lling any of those kids.

Nancy: 17857, Chelsea Wheeler.

58937, Kelly Grady.

♪ When it's my moment in the sun ♪

11378, Yvonne Watson.

67892, Richard Schultz.

♪ Oh, how beautiful ♪

48937, Margaret Flood.

♪ I'll be ♪

65742, Ennis Hart.

♪ But in a normal sort of way ♪

75841, Gina Morrison.

♪ Like I am you ♪
♪ And you are me ♪

[Tapping]

Let's go for it!

And... like this!

♪ Said I have a lot of things to say ♪

[Knocking on door]

♪ And you'd be wise to listen good ♪
♪ I think that hunger, w*r, and death ♪

Gina: Richard!

♪ Are bringing everybody down ♪

What, what happened?

Oh, Nancy exploded.

Oh...

Jonathan Walsh is an alien.

You want the truth?

The truth is I'm a lizard person.

Huh.

Man on intercom: Hello, and welcome to Fly Iceland. We're currently cruising at an altitude of 39,000 feet.

[phone chimes]

♪ Well it's my moment in the sun ♪

[Sighing]

♪ I won't forget that I am blood ♪

[Static crackling]

No, it's a brand-new lease.

♪ But every hero... ♪

[Music stops]

[Crickets chirping]

[Sarcastically] Great, perfect.

[Groans]

[Whirring]

[Whooshing]

It's happening.

It's finally happening!

I knew I was special! Ha-ha!

Whoo!

Suck it, Dad!