02x12 - Ken's New Intern

[bunniefuu]

♪ He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans ♪
♪ Struttin' her stuff on the street ♪
♪ She said, "Hello, hey, Joe, you wanna give it a go?" ♪
♪ Oh, gitchi gitchi ya-ya da-da ♪

Damn, I feel bad for the chump who has to follow her.

Ooh, it says here you're up next.

Switch with me?

No!

♪ Creole Lady Marmala-a-a-de ♪

[Cheers and applause]

[Chuckles]

Oh, sweaty.

I, um, was hoping to follow someone a little less impressive, like maybe my wife.

Thanks, sweetie.

[High-pitched voice] ♪ Everybody dance now ♪

[C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" plays]

Not this song.

Maybe you should get some air.

Hey, babe, you want me to come with you?

No, no. Just let her go.

What's that about?

Okay. Damona doesn't like to talk about it, but back in high school, she sang with her church choir.

They were pretty good, too... so good that a music producer brought her into his studio to record on the very dance album that Ken is "singing" as we speak.

[High-pitched voice] ♪ Work me all night ♪

[Normal voice] ♪ Come on, let's sweat ♪
♪ Baby ♪

Wait. "Everybody Dance Now" has Damona's voice?

Yes, but when the video came out, they had someone else lip-sync her part, and she never got credit for it.

That's messed up.

So, I lost my virginity to Damona's voice?

Pat, that song came out when you were in your 30s.

Huh? What? Nothing. What?

They owe her recognition.

Trust me... she has no interest in revisiting the matter.

It's better not to open old wounds... unless they need to be drained.

Sorry. That's the nurse in me talking.

Everyone, I'd like you to meet Erin, our newest intern.

She's a member of the AOA Medical Honor Society and Ken's replacement if all goes well.

I'm kidding 'cause I'm bored.

Hey, Erin.

I am Dr. Ken Park, and I'll be your attending physician.

Well, except for the hour every day where I'm a "pretending physician" and I sneak off to my office for a nap.

[Laughs hysterically]

Oh, I was so nervous to meet you, but you're hilarious!

Well, congrats. You nailed your first diagnosis.

Ohh! [Laughs hysterically]

Oh, are you out of your Coke Zero?

Can I get you a fresh one?

[Goofy voice] Um, zero objection.

Oh, stop! [Laughs]

Ahh. Pay attention, you two.

You guys can learn something from her.

Uh, Dr. Ken, I think she likes you.

What?

Yeah.

She was on you like a bad haircut on a Norwegian dude.

Mm-hmm. Come on. She was flirting up a storm.

Aw, what are you talking about?

Here, Dr. Park.

So, what's the first pearl of wisdom you have for me?

Oh, um, the first, uh... married pearl of wisdom, um... uh, the patients are important.

The patients are important. Very interesting.

Um, oh, yeah. Um, speaking of which, uh, this patient, Mr. Miller, um...

Mmm. has pseudohyponatremia due to his high triglycerides.

Yes. Right.

So, by trying to correct his sodium levels, he could get worse.

Treat the patient, not the numbers.

That's exactly right. Very astute.

That means so much coming from you.

Thank you!

Uh... oh, what's over there?

Can I help you?

How was date with Jae last night?

Dish, girl!

Sorry. That's kind of personal.

But I'm the one who set you up.

Okay, fine.

I... really liked him.

See?

And you were like, "Traditional Korean setup... not for me!"

I know. I was wrong.

He's super nice, and I thought we had a great time.

But he hasn't texted me since... nothing, not even the three dots that means he's writing something, then deciding not to send it.

I'll talk to his grandfather, find out why he's not making dots.

No. Don't do that.

I can't have this getting back to Jae.

Okay.

Although, if you should happen into his grandpa's barbershop and secretly get some intel...

Oka-a-a-y.

But be discreet.

I don't want Jae to think that I think about what he thinks.

But the problem is, I just got my hair cut.

Going back again will raise suspicion.

Good morning, two Parks most likely to survive a nuclear apocalypse.

Dave, you need haircut?

I could stand to get my ears lowered.

After school, we go to barbershop.

Fortune favors the bold. Let's do it.

[Breathing heavily] Allison, we got to talk.

I ran all the way here.

Well, I jogged the last part.

And then I walked.

Is that hallway uphill?

I think my new intern's flirting with me.

Really?

Just like Jessica Alba was when we saw her at that farmers' market?

Worse, Allison.

She thinks I'm funny, and she touched my arm.

Alba just asked me to stop yelling at that apple vendor in front of her kids.

I'm sure she's not flirting.

She sounds like a young intern who's impressed by her attending.

You know... intern goggles.

Wait. So, you're cool with this?

Ken, I know you love me, and I trust you.

You're the one who, by nature, is extremely jealous.

Remember the tailspin you went into when you met my med-school ex, Kevin?

Ah, any excuse to bring him up.

I'm not jealous.

You know this. You don't have to worry.

[Sighs] Thanks.

It'll be a lot easier with Erin if I don't have to feel guilty about cracking k*ller jokes.

[Chuckles]

Ken, listen to me.

You never have to worry about cracking k*ller jokes.

Thanks, Al.

No, I wasn't... whatever.

Hey, Baby Cakes.

Mm. I should not have used Damona's nickname for you.

Anywho, Pooh Bear is at lunch.

Ugh! I'm sorry. You guys just have such good ones!

I actually want to talk to you.

Ooh! Intrigue. What's up?

So, I Googled C+C Music Factory, and it turns out they're playing at Agave Springs Casino tonight.

I want to get Damona there so she can confront them.

You just don't get it.

Pat, do you imagine that Damona being pushed into something would go really well?

Ah, give me a second.

Oh, God, no!

No.

She's strong-willed, and when she feels pressured into doing something, she backs the other way.

Yes. Like a stray dog.

You try to corner her, she'll lash out... although if you can get hold of a slice of pizza, sometimes you can just...

You know, I think I'm getting off topic.

Look, I know what she thinks she wants, but that's obviously a defense mechanism.

Every time she hears that song, she's gonna feel the way she did last night.

Don't you have something in your past that you wish you'd confronted?

Jessica Greenberg.

[Voice breaking] And I'm gonna leave it at that.

You may be onto something.

I know when I got divorced, I asked my ex-wife when she stopped loving me, and she told me that she never loved me.

And that closure felt great.

Still, Damona is never going to agree to go.

Not if she knows the reason.

But if she thinks it's just a fun night out, she will.

Well, it's worth a sh*t, but bring a slice of pizza just in case.

Hey, Dr. Park, I was going over today's calendar...

Oh, speaking of which, did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

[Both laugh]

He has been telling that same damn joke for three whole years, and nobody has ever laughed.

I guess he was due.

Are you okay with this?

You're not jealous or, you know...

Me? No. [Laughs]

No, no, no.

[Both laughing]

No, no.

No.

Crazy. You're crazy, man.

Hi.

[Both laughing hysterically]

I'm Allison, Ken's wife!

Oh, hi! I'm Erin.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Your husband has been amazing.

You are so lucky.

Yep. I won the lottery.

[Both chuckle]

Oh, honey, you won't believe what Erin did this morning.

She made a brilliant breakthrough on this patient...

Mr. White.

All I did was suggest an experimental treatment protocol from a study I published in JAMA.

As a med student, dude! As a med student!

And already it's helping his symptoms.

Right, because the patient, uh... when he was feeling the, uh... well, his symptoms do show...

I went to med school.

Oh.

I mean, I didn't publish anything, per se, but...

Modest.

She was written up in the med-school newsletter.

Oh, no, no, we don't have to...

Yeah. She won a hot-dog-eating contest.

Wow.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Yeah. She won a hat. Mm-hmm.

So, published at 21?

Actually, I was 20.

Ah!

Nice to meet you.

Oh, hello there.

You know, over my teeny, tiny, non-hot-dog lunch, I was pondering that case you and Erin were talking about.

I recalled a study in Lancet that demonstrated, if you use a low-dose salicylate, it would have a more favorable side-effect profile than the anti-coagulant therapy Erin advocates, so...

But the patient's allergic to aspirin.

Oh.

So, Erin's thing, then.

Dr. Park, could you sign this?

Oh, you want my autograph, huh?

I get that a lot.

[Squealing]

[Both laugh]

That is so funny!

[Laughs]

[Laughs hysterically]

"Autograph."

[Chuckles]

[Laughs hysterically] So funny!

Oh, man.

How'd the barbershop go?

Pretty good.

Jung-Do sure knows his way around the old melon.

Not the haircut.

I'm talking about Grandpa getting intel on Jae.

I get the feeling I've been used as a pawn in a game of love, and I'll have no further part in it!

So, what did you find out?

Good news, bad news.

The bad news is, Jae's not, uh...

I-It's okay, Grandpa. I get it.

Man, I really liked him.

And he should like you.

You're smart, beautiful, good at bocce ball.

His loss.

Thanks.

Wait.

What's the good news?

Oh! Dave's haircut... comped!

Somebody has got to teach me how to play craps 'cause once I learn, baby...

What the hell?

Oh, my God. What a coincidence.

You set me up?

I'm sorry, babe. I just wanted to...

I can't believe you guys.

Baby, just wait a...

Just give her some space.

He's right, although we should probably keep her in our line of sight.

She does have the car keys.

I got her.

Allison: Hey, stud.

Hey.

Where are the kids?

I sent them to see a movie-film.

And my dad?

Grocery shopping for me.

It's just us. Whatever are we gonna do?

Oops.

I guess my shoulder wants out.

[Both laugh]

I forgot the grocery list.

Okay, then. Thanks. Weird. Bye.

Tomatoes? That's a waste of money.

You should grow your own.

Good idea. Go buy dirt.

Where were we? Oh, yeah. "Oops."

I think the robe is sticking to your shoulder sweat.

Yeah? You like that?

You're gonna hurt yourself, Allison.

[Laughs] You're so funny. Take off your belt.

Oh!

This never happens so easily.

What's going on here?

I can't resist you.

You're just so hot and chiseled.

Yes, I am, but still.

Fine. I guess I am jealous of Erin, okay?

What?

The rational side of me knows there's no issue, but the cave-lady side felt threatened.

This is mostly her work.

You must think I'm pathetic.

No.

I think you're amazing, beautiful, and brilliant.

Well, you have to say that.

Doesn't make it any less true.

You got nothing to worry about.

Look at me. I'm a hot mess.

I got the posture of a question mark, and I'm needy, and I have the temperament of a colicky baby.

Oh, my God. Please don't leave me.

Aw.

I probably won't.

I mean, hey, you get my crazy, and you still love me for it.

Nobody else in the world would be able to make me as happy as you do.

Really?

[Chuckling] Of course.

Aww.

Thanks.

I feel better.

And, you know, we still have the house to ourselves.

[Both chuckle]

You want tuna in water or oil?

Both: Go!

Oil.

Hey.

Can we join you, or are you in like a "throw hot coffee in the-face" kind of mood?

This could be a trick.

Look, babe, I'm sorry.

It's just that... you're so talented and you have such a beautiful voice.

We just wanted you to get the credit you deserve.

You know...

I lost my virginity to your voice.

You talk.

Listen, when I was younger, I wanted to be a singer more than anything, but being replaced in that video showed me how brutal the music business can be.

So, really, guys, I actually have everything I've ever wanted... a job that makes a difference, an amazing boyfriend, the best, most caring friends in the world.

I wouldn't change a thing.

I mean, the last thing I need is to go back to a time when...

Oh, you have got to be kidding me!

Oh, oh, let's get out of here.

Yeah, okay, so, what did everybody have?

Was it just Damona's cup... you know what?

I'm just gonna pay for everything.

Wait.

Excuse me.

That's my voice you used.

I don't know what you're talking about, sweetie.

Yeah, you do, sweetie.

Look, if you got some kind of beef, you should call our lawyer.

It's not about the money. It's about what's right.

And you guys can ignore what I'm saying, but you can't ignore this.

♪ Everybody dance now! ♪

Big deal. You can sing a hook.

♪ Itchi gitchi ya-ya da-da ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, itchi gitchi ya-ya he-e-e-re ♪

Okay, so, things are starting to get weird.

♪ Mocha-choca-lata ya-ya ♪
♪ Creole Lady Marmalade ♪
♪ Creole Lady Marmala-a-a-de ♪

[Cheers and applause]

♪ I say, ohh, ohh, ohh ♪
♪ I say, ohh, ohh, ohh, whoa ♪

Okay, baby.

Ah. Oh! Whoa!

Oh, my God!

[Laughing] That felt so good!

You guys, maybe I really did need closure.

Thank you so much.

Now, somebody teach me how to play some craps!

Come on.

[Doorbell rings]

Jae.

What are you doing here?

You break your thumbs?

That why you didn't text my granddaughter?

Easy, Tiger.

Let's give these kids some space.

But he didn't even make dots!

Okay.

Come on in.

Hey, uh... I had a great time with you the other night, and... and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

But then why haven't I heard from you?

My family has gotten so involved, I've been too nervous to pursue anything.

My mom even used that app to combine our pictures and see what our baby would look like.

It's her screen saver now.

[Chuckles]

I was nervous about you, too.

It was weird to be set up by my grandpa.

But I'm glad I was.

So, you wouldn't feel like you were only seeing me out of family obligation?

Definitely not.

So, what do you say we keep our families out of this?

Absolutely.

[Chuckles]

Okay, that's enough for now.

Glad you came by.

So am I. I'll text you.

And not just dots!

Actual text.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh. Excuse me.

Dr. Park, do you have a sec?

Sure. What's up?

I just wanted to let you know that today is going to be my last day.

Oh.

Ohh. Right.

I think it's for the best, you know, given my situation and where I am in my life.

What are you talking about?

You know, how you, when it comes to me, have been kind of like [chuckling] you know...

Wait. Why are you leaving?

Oh, it's the last day of my rotation.

Oh!

Oh.

So, it's... it's not because of the...

[Feminine, flirtatious giggling]

Or the... [Purrs]

I don't know what you're talking about.

Right. Sorry. No. I, um...

Yeah, I think I misread something.

Take care, Erin.

Thanks.

Dr. Park?

[Exhales sharply] I...

Never mind.

Thanks for everything.

What a confusing person.

What was that for?

For eating hot dogs, having sweaty shoulders, and being perfect.

Oh. [Chuckles]