03x08 - Season 3, Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

Alison: Previously on The Affair...

Hey.

[Joanie groans]

[gasps] Wait, Joanie!

Wait, wait.

Alison: Joanie!

What are you doing?

Let her do it.

[♪ pensive music ♪]

Luisa: I can't stand feeling like this.

Cole: Like?

Like I've done everything I can.

And still what?

This town is not my home.

Joanie's not my child, but I've tried.

Now Alison gets everything back, including you.

We lost our child!

I know.

How am I ever gonna compete with that?

I've proven myself consistently.

I also really need to consider whether my client is ready for unsupervised visits.

The current situation has been and remains stressful.

Alison: You could just say to the judge at our next hearing that you trust me.

And you think I'm emotionally sound enough to take care of Joanie.

Right, so I'm healthy enough to f*ck, but not to be the mother of our child.

There's a process in place for a reason, Alison.

No, I understand, thanks for coming by.

Would you mind telling us where you were last Wednesday night?

He was home. With me.

Cole will only ever see you as a disaster, Alison.

Whatever you do, however competent you become, you will always be damaged goods to him.

Alison: I need you to sign those, it's a "no contest."

I told my lawyer that I don't want anything from you, I just want a clean slate.

[♪ dramatic music ♪]

♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪
♪ At the moment of my death ♪
♪ The echo I created ♪
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪
♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪
♪ And when he d*ed his widowed bride ♪
♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ ♪

Gutteman: There are multiple things to consider here.

Whether my young client is even comfortable in an unsupervised arrangement with Ms. Bailey is only part of the equation.

Is Ms. Bailey actually prepared for this?

She still doesn't have a permanent job, nor is she even divorced from her second husband, who happens to be a convicted felon.

Your Honor, Mr. Gutteman does not have his facts straight.

Ms. Bailey is partner in a lucrative local business.

And as for her second husband, Noah Solloway, a judgment of divorce was just entered.

Here is a copy for the court, as well as counsel.

[♪ tense music ♪]

♪ ♪

Judge: Mr. Gutteman, are you calling a witness?

Yes, Your Honor.

Um, I would like to call Luisa Leon to the stand.

♪ ♪

[Gutteman clears throat]

[gate creaks]

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear under the penalty of perjury that the testimony you're going to give here today is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

I do.

Ms. Leon, you have had the occasion to see my client interact with her mother?

Yes, of course.

Gutteman: And in the time since this court last adjourned, would you say the relationship between my client and Alison Bailey has improved or deteriorated?

I would say it has improved.

In fact, Joanie already had an unsupervised visit.

She slept alone at Alison's place a few nights ago.

It was her birthday.

Gutteman: I see. So it was a special occasion?

Yeah. She came home very happy.

But I would imagine you still have significant concerns regarding Ms. Bailey having regular, unsupervised visits...

Jessa: Objection. Leading the witness.

Judge: Sustained. [sighs]

Mr. Gutteman, may I remind you that your job requires you to be an impartial advocate for your young client?

Honestly, I think we should stop coming here.

I'm tired of this process.

You know, Joanie loves her mother and wants to be with her.

I'm not a fan of Alison, but this isn't about me.

She should have her daughter back.

Gutteman: I'm sorry.

Ms. Leon, when you say "she should have her daughter back," you mean you would be all right with unsupervised visits?

No, shared custody, Mr. Gutteman.

I'm talking about shared custody.

Gutteman: Uh, Ms. Leon, I think you're confused.

Shared custody is not an option on the table at the moment.

Luisa: Well, maybe it should be.

Gutteman: Um...

[indistinct murmur]

No.

[clears throat] Your Honor, may I request a brief recess?

Judge: Counsel, you can each have five minutes to speak to your clients.

And then I want to see you in my chambers.

[gavel hits]

♪ ♪

[inaudible]

♪ ♪

[door opens]

[door creaks closed]

What happened?

Cole is willing to settle on shared custody.

Will you agree to it?

Me?

Mm-hmm.

[laughs] Yes. Yes!

[laughs]

Oh, my God. What... this... this can't be real.

It... it was Luisa's testimony.

Did you have any idea she felt that way?

No, no, no, I thought she still hated me, I...

Well, she's a good person. That's clear.

We'll draw up the paperwork, but consider it done.

Oh.

Congratulations, Alison.

I know this was awful, but it's over now.

Thank you.

[laughs]

Oh, thank you.

Congrats.

Thanks.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

[Alison exhales]

♪ ♪

[keys drop]

♪ ♪

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

Hey.

I just dropped Joanie off with Luisa.

She told me where to find you.

Well, here I am.

I-I brought you some coffee and a muffin.

No?

Okay.

Well, I'll just leave it in case you get hungry later.

Cole: Wait.

[seagulls calling]

Look, I, uh, I just came by to see if you were okay with what happened today in court.

Why wouldn't I be?

I don't know, you just seemed a little surprised by what Luisa did.

Honestly, it seems a little fast to me.

[sighs] Right.

You haven't exactly been a model of consistency since you got back. You're still you.

What is that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Thanks for the muffin.

Wait, do you seriously think that I'm... I'm not capable of having custody back?

I think that you ran away as soon as the going got tough.

So I just hope for Joanie's sake that things are gonna run a little bit more smoothly this time around.

Wait, Cole, I thought you understood why I had to go.

Alison, I can't do this with you today, okay?

I got a whole crew showing up. My brothers are coming.

If they see you here, they're gonna wonder what's going on.

Fine.

Cole: Congratulations on your divorce.

Right.

So that's what all this is about.

You told me you hadn't seen him.

Look. [exhales]

It was five minutes.

We signed and he left.

[sighs]

I thought you wanted me to get divorced.

I don't care what you do.

No, Gutteman told me that if I wanted my daughter back...

It's emblematic of the whole problem, Alison.

Wait, what "whole problem"?

I can't trust you.

Oh, f*ck you, Cole.

[distant waves crashing]

[keys jangle, drop]

[cell phone rings]

[mumurs indistinctly]

Dr. Parry?

Hey. [laughs softly]

Yeah, no, uh, yeah, I-I'm doing great.

It's so nice to hear from you. [laughs softly]

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

How's she doing?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

I-I, uh, I'd love to.

When?

Yeah, tomorrow's fine, I... well, Joanie's with Cole, so it's perfect.

Okay.

Yeah, 11 a.m. Right?

Yeah, I'll see you then.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

[sighs softly]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[door creaks]

[sighs]

Oh.

Hey.

[soft laugh] Oh.

Oh.

Mm.

[exhales]

[indistinct PA announcement]

And when did it happen?

Eight weeks ago.

She's been on su1c1de watch since she got here.

I'm hoping that by talking to someone else who's been through it, it'll help.

You okay?

Yeah.

[sighs]

Okay. [laughs softly]

[door creaks]

Hi.

[door shuts]

I'm Alison.

Can I join you?

Did, uh, Dr. Parry tell you who I am?

You're the patient.

That's right.

I was here for a long time.

How long?

Six months.

You must have been crazy.

[sighs] Yeah, well, I had a lot to work through.

Maybe a little like you.

Kendra: I have to go home next week.

My parents can't afford this.

Are you looking forward to going home?

[snorts]

What was her name?

My son's name was Gabriel.

After his grandfather.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

You know, I, uh, I used to like to be in his room after he d*ed.

In his bed, you know, surrounded by all his things.

♪ ♪

The sheets still had his smell, and I used to wrap them around a pillow and pretend I was holding him.

♪ ♪

My mom... [exhales] ...put all of Dawn's things in a... [sniffles] ...storage as soon as she d*ed.

In a box.

No, she can't do that.

You have to tell her to take them out again.

You need her stuff around you. You can't...

[stammers] ...trying to erase her memory is... is not gonna help.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

♪ ♪

I just...

♪ ♪

[sniffles]

I just miss her so much.

Oh, hey, I think I've got some Kleenex in here.

[crying, sniffling]

I don't care.

[sniffles]

♪ ♪

My mom... [exhales] ...she's so worried about me.

[sniffles]

She just... she wants me to be better.

She wants me to be myself again.

Well, you're not gonna be better for a while.

And you won't ever be the same.

[scoffs]

She has to understand that.

♪ ♪

I spend a lot of time trying to f-figure out a way to k*ll myself and make it look like an accident.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Please don't tell them I-I told you that.

No, I won't. I won't.

I get it, though.

I came close a few times too.

Kendra: You did?

Mm.

♪ ♪

Why not?

What did you do?

♪ ♪

Uh... [scoffs]

I had an affair.

[stifled laugh]

[both laugh]

Damn.

Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't recommend it. It didn't end well.

♪ ♪

But you do whatever you have to do.

Dying is not the answer.

I know it feels like a good solution right now, but you want to live.

♪ ♪

How do you know that?

Because it's incredible to be alive.

♪ ♪

[laughs softly] Everyone else assumes that life is a given.

But you and I both know that it's not.

♪ ♪

You and I both know that breath can end.

So we know that life is a gift.

♪ ♪

You'll miss Dawn, but you'll keep her with you.

You'll keep that memory alive.

And you'll live now for both of you.

[cries]

Hey.

[crying]

♪ ♪

No.

[crying]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[blinker clicking]

♪ ♪

Hey.

I'm sorry about before.

Look, I-I don't want to fight.

I... [sighs]

I should have told you that I talked to Noah.

[door creaks]

Okay.

Can I talk to you about something else?

Cole: Sure. What's up?

[sighs]

Guess where I was this morning?

Cole scoffs: I got no idea, Ally.

I was at Woodlawn.

I talked to this woman who had lost her child.

Wow.

How was that?

It was really intense.

She was so young. She... much younger than we were.

And she was in so much pain, you could almost see the film of grief over her eyes.

Yeah, I remember it.

Yeah, but I think I helped her. I really do.

And, um, Dr. Parry, that's my doctor, she told me that someone like me, with my experience, I could turn this into a career.

A career?

Yeah.

They're creating a new program.

What they want to do is train parents who have lost a child to become grief counselors.

And they think the only people that can really understand that experience are those that have been through it before.

I don't understand. You're moving to New Jersey?

What? No, I commute.

Alison, that's four hours away.

Well... well, yeah, um, maybe I'll spend a few days a week up there.

So this is a full-time job then?

No, I-I... we haven't worked out the specifics yet, I...

What about Joanie?

What about her?

What, you just gonna abandon her again?

No.

No.

So then what?

You're gonna take her from me?

Wait, no.

From our home?

Cole, stop.

I-I-I haven't thought about any of this.

Why not?

This is exactly why I didn't want you to have custody yet.

I knew you were gonna do something like this.

[sighs] It's been, what, 24 hours?

Less?

And you just can't help yourself, can you?

Wait, Cole, I think you're missing the point...

Cole: No, you are missing the point.

What happened in court is a miracle.

Why can't you see that?

Why can't you just be happy and say thank you?

You have to keep on pushing and pushing.

I forget this about you.

I get so caught up in you and I and our history and everything that that entails.

But this is who you are.

You're chaos. And I can't live like that.

Uh, well nobody's asking you to.

Really?

Then why are you here?

[sighs] I just... I just wanted to share it with you.

Why?

Because... [sighs] ...you're the only person who could understand.

I... I just don't get why you're so angry.

I thought you'd be happy for me.

[scoffs] Of course you did, Alison, 'cause it's about you.

Everything's always about you.

[sighs]

[moody rock music playing over radio]

Hey.

Heard you had a big day yesterday, Bailey.

Wow. Word travels fast.

I'm happy for you.

I like it when the good guys win.

[laughs softly] Yeah, well.

You're a good guy, Clay.

Clay: What'll it be tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

Something really stiff.

Helen: How about a Long Island Iced Tea?

♪ ♪

Um, I was getting dinner in town and I saw you walk in.

Mind if I sit?

Uh, no... no, sure.

Um...

Two Long Island Iced Teas.

♪ ♪

How are you?

You look good.

Yeah, I'm okay.

[laughs softly]

How are you?

Um, I've been better.

You want to talk about it?

No.

No.

♪ ♪

So you're still living here? I didn't... I didn't know that.

♪ ♪

Uh, well, yeah, I have a lot of reasons to be here, and...

Helen: Oh, your daughter's here, right?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

She turned out not to be Noah's?

♪ ♪

No.

I loved hearing that.

Mm.

[drinks pouring]

I'm sorry. [laughs]

I'm not trying to be a bitch.

I'm just having a really weird day.

Yeah, me too.

[laughs nervously]

[Helen clears throat]

♪ ♪

Have you seen him recently?

Noah?

Yeah, I'm just wondering if, you know, how he is.

Um...

He's been staying at my place, actually.

He is?

Helen: Mm-hmm.

Just for a few days.

His neck got infected and... and my boyfriend's a... a doctor, so...

Wow, that's so nice of you. That...

Helen: Mm.

♪ ♪

Do they know who did it?

No.

Think it's random.

Alison: God, it's so weird.

I know.

Helen: When's the last time you saw him?

Uh, a few days ago.

[coughs]

What? Why?

We signed the divorce papers.

You're divorced from Noah?

Yeah.

And so am I.

[snickers]

[both laughing]

Cheers.

[glasses clink]

[both laughing]

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Uh, okay.

Who was he with you?

Alison: What do you mean?

I mean, how would you describe this person, Noah Solloway?

Um...

♪ ♪

Uh, I, uh, I...

...I'd say he was charming.

Uh, very smart.

Intensely driven.

I've never met anyone that ambitious before.

What?

Nothing. Go on.

Um...

He was very mature.

You know, he seemed like a man that could take care of things.

♪ ♪

Mm.

That's not how you saw him?

I found him to be so insecure.

I mean, obviously very intelligent, but I always was after him to hustle more, call his publisher, or stand up to my father.

[laughs]

It's like he was a completely different person with you.

I think people see what they want to see in other people.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

You know, I used to think that he was never really yours, that I was just loaning him to you until he'd had enough and decided to come home, even after you'd gotten married.

Isn't that pathetic?

Helen, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry for what I did.

He was your husband. You had children.

I shouldn't have...

I'm so sorry.

♪ ♪

But it's not your fault.

I mean, men need to feel important in order to stay in a relationship, and I stopped making Noah feel important years before he met you.

So don't blame yourself for what happened.

Helen, I want to tell you something about the night that Scotty d*ed...

No, don't.

Alison: I...

No, I think it would help you to hear...

Why don't you just let it go, Alison?

I mean, what does it matter?

It's not like we can go back.

[sighs] It was nice seeing you.

Take care of yourself.

[door creaks open, shut]

Weird night?

[scoffs]

Mm.

♪ ♪

[wind blowing]

[knocking at door]

Chris?

Hey. What's wrong?

Chris: I just wanted to give you a heads-up.

The New Jersey cops are back in Montauk, questioning Cole.

About what?

Noah Solloway's attempted m*rder.

His alibi the night of the stabbing didn't hold up.

What, he... he wasn't home?

No. Apparently, they have some record of a toll he paid on the Jersey Turnpike about ten miles from the university, an hour before Noah was stabbed.

[♪ brooding music ♪]

Oh, my God.

Do you know anything about this?

Uh, n-no.

Because if you got something to say, now would be the time.

I swear I don't.

Okay.

Hopefully he was just going on a drive to look at the foliage.

Yeah.

Sorry to bother you, Bailey.

You have a good night.

Thanks.

♪ ♪

Luisa: I mean, I didn't plan it.

It just came out.

He asked me if... if Joanie seemed happy when she was with her.

Was I supposed to lie?

No.

Of course I don't want you to lie.

I just wish you could have mentioned it to me first.

That's what I'm saying.

I didn't know I was going to do anything.

lawyer: Cole? Luisa?

So, the judge is leaning towards shared custody.

What do you think?

Would you agree to settle?

Luisa: Let's give her what she wants so we can stop thinking about her.

I'm just so f*cking tired of talking about Alison.

[♪ tense music ♪]

♪ ♪

What the f*ck?

f*ck.

[sighs]

[car approaching]

Hey.

What are you doing here?

[exhales]

I brought donuts.

Why?

Well, I thought you might be hungry.

And I wanted to say thank you for today.

It wasn't my idea.

Alison: Okay.

But still, you agreed to the settlement, so thank you.

[exhales] Ally, I'm not hungry.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

Alison: I can tell you are.

Getting that line between your eyes.

Alison...

Alison: What?

Can you please just go?

My crew's about to show up. My brother's are coming.

I don't want them to see you here.

Why? What are they gonna think?

I don't know what they're gonna think, but I don't want any trouble.

Wait... [sighs]

How is this trouble? I brought donuts.

Come on, Ally, you got what you wanted.

Okay, you got Joanie back.

So what are you doing?

I-I need you to leave me alone, Alison.

We both agree that what happened was a mistake.

[exhales] Oh, my God.

That's... that's not why I'm here.

[Alison laughs softly]

You sure?

Yes.

I came to say thank you.

Look, today meant a lot to me.

It meant everything.

I'll leave them here.

In case you get hungry later.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

[car door shuts, engine turns over]

f*ck.

f*ck.

[car departing]

[exhales]

♪ ♪

[exhales]

♪ ♪

Hey, Willa.

Cole, I was just about to lock up.

I just got to talk to Jerry for a second.

Is he in?

Jerry is somewhere in the Florida Keys.

For how long?

Willa: For good. He retired last month.

Couldn't wait to get the hell out of here.

So who's the new building inspector?

Hey. Are you Tim?

Timothy.

Timothy, my mistake.

Cole Lockhart.

Hey, Mr. Lockhart, pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure's all mine.

Congratulations on the new job.

Thank you.

I was out by your house earlier.

Yeah, I know. I got your message.

Your survey's out of date.

I don't think so.

That survey's not more than three years old.

Correct.

Right, so that's not out of date.

Town law stipulates that all new construction be based on a new survey.

We've got to shut you down till you get a new one.

Come on, if I get... if I get a new survey, it's gonna cost me an arm and and leg.

And it'll take me eight weeks to get somebody out there.

Maybe less.

Even if it's six, I'm trying to get that roof on before winter.

If you shut me down now, I'm screwed.

I'm sorry, with all the new construction in town, we really must enforce the rules.

All right, Timothy, I know that you're new here.

This is a small town.

We take care of each other.

[laughs softly]

I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Lockhart.

Heard that you're an upstanding member of this community and someone people really look up to.

I would think it'd be important to you to continue to do things the proper way.

I'm very sorry for the inconvenience.

[folding paper]

[door creaking]

Luisa: Hey.

Hey.

What happened to you?

Bath time.

[scoffs]

She asleep?

Uh, no. She's watching a movie.

I, um, I talked to her about what happened today in court.

And?

Well, she's happy.

We did the right thing.

Cole: It's getting kind of late.

If you can get her in her pajamas, I'll read her a bedtime story.

Luisa: Deal.

Dinner's on the stove.

[sniffs]

Smells great.

Um, so...

...I've been thinking.

Maybe it's time for us to start our own family.

We could adopt or find a surrogate.

No?

No, I-I mean, no, not "no."

Yes. [laughs softly]

Definitely yes.

Of course I want to start a family with you.

But I-I-I'm exhausted tonight, babe.

Luisa: Mm.

[exhales]

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

Yeah.

Sure.

[distant hammer slamming, power tools whirring]

Oscar: Cole?

Yeah?

The f*ck is wrong with you, man?

They sent me from town council.

What are you talking about?

Oscar: I talked to Tim.

You are unequivocally shut down.

Oh, f*ck that guy.

What's his price?

He doesn't have one.

Bullshit.

Everybody has a price. What's his?

Cole, he's trying to make an example of you.

He's not gonna budge.

Why?

Why? 'Cause you're a high-profile citizen, and he's trying to bring some kind of order to this...

...backwater cesspool of corruption we call home.

Why'd you hire this guy in the first place?

[cell phone ringing]

Just... listen... just shut it down for a few weeks.

Just give me a minute.

f*ck.

[distant hammer slamming]

Hello.

Yeah, I'm just at a building site.

Yes, I got your message about the diapers, I already...

No, I didn't make the appointment becau... because I-I don't think he's sick.

I think he's teething, but if you want me to...

Hello?

She's a f*cking c**t. [sighs]

Everything okay?

Yes, I meant that affectionately.

Is there something wrong with Little O?

No, he's teething.

But he won't stop crying, and Jenny's worried.

And she's back at work now and super stressed and the kid won't sleep and we're fighting all the time and we never have sex, but other than that?

Everything's great.

[chuckles]

You guys gonna be okay?

What do you mean?

Well, you just called your wife a c**t.

Yeah, 'cause she makes me deeply miserable.

But you mean are we gonna split? No, of course not.

Jenny's like a...

...she's like a solid B-plus.

And let's face it, I'm a C.

So if she needs to call and yell at me and then hang up, if that makes her happy, well, it's a, uh, small price to pay for a beautiful family, you know?

[distant hammering continues]

You ever wonder what it'd be like, different life, different...

Different, what, different girl?

Like who?

[♪ solemn music ♪]

Oh.

Come on.

Is that what this is all about?

The whole "I got to get a roof on my house" bullshit?

Thanks for stopping by, Oscar.

Wait, wait, wait.

Are you f*cking your ex-wife?

Nope.

Have you been f*cking your ex-wife?

[sighs]

[♪ solemn music ♪]

What the f*ck's wrong with you?

Dude, you got a perfect life. What are you doing?

I don't know.

[sighs]

Jesus Christ.

[sighs]

Listen, man, I get it.

Your ex-wife was one of a kind.

But remember that thing that happened five years ago?

Where she left you, shattered your heart in a million pieces, and then ground the shards between her teeth, yeah?

Yes, yes, I remember.

So why are we even having this conversation?

I don't know.

♪ ♪

I don't know what I'm doing.

And if you tell Luisa, I'll k*ll you.

Come on, buddy.

You're talking to the new Oscar Hodges now.

I'm not interested in blowing up anyone's life.

I got my own to worry about.

You know, uh, when I first met Jenny, I fell for her like the f*cking Hindenburg.

I mean, she was like some sort of nymphomaniac.

I thought I was setting myself up for a lifetime of blowjobs.

[scoffs]

Now, a scant three years later, instead of getting laid at night, I find myself up changing diapers.

[laughs softly]

Yeah.

Last night, I didn't have a clean one ready.

Little O started to squirm.

So I reached out my hand and I let him sh*t in it.

[stifled chuckle]

Oscar: But you know what occurred to me while that was happening?

Nope.

I thought, this is what happens when you fall in love with someone.

This is where it all leads.

So, if that's where it's heading anyhow, wouldn't you rather Luisa to fall back on, the woman you know will be there to catch you, than Alison, who nine times out of ten will probably just let you fall?

♪ ♪

Good seeing you.

Thanks for stopping by.

Okay.

[Cole clears throat]

Hey, great talk.

Oscar: Shut it down.

Yeah.

Last survey was done three years ago, November.

Hey, Cole.

I mean, as soon as you can get out there. Hold on, hold on.

Yeah. Next week'll be fine.

I'll see you at the house. Thank you.

Bye.

Ally, I told you yesterday, I really...

No, look, I had a... a really significant day.

I was at Woodlawn and I was counseling a grieving mother.

And it went so well they've offered me a job.

A job?

Yeah.

There's starting this new program, and...

Hold on, did you take it?

Yeah, I did.

Woodlawn is in New Jersey.

Well, that's not the point.

Cole: Okay, so what's the point then?

What... aren't you happy for me?

If you start working in New Jersey, what are we gonna do about Joanie?

You think you're taking her? You're gonna leave her?

What... I thought I could take her half the week.

She has school.

Alison: Well, she's got kindergarten.

We can find one there in New Jersey.

It's fine... what?

Cole: Jesus Christ.

Nothing, I just thought it was gonna be different this time.

Alison: What was gonna be different?

I thought maybe you'd stay in one place for a little while.

Well, okay, if you want Joanie here the whole week, we can talk about that. It's not...

What I want is for you to be a responsible human being who doesn't just do the first f*cking thing that pops into your head.

I don't have time for your craziness today, Ally.

Oh, it's a good thing I'm so f*cked up, isn't it?

What's that?

Well, as long as I'm crazy, you get to be sane.

Hey.

Let's do it.

Okay.

I'm ready. Let's start our own family.

We could even use your sister as a surrogate.

What?

I'm sorry I've been acting so crazy for the last couple days, but I was thinking about this.

You want a family. I want a family.

So let's do it.

I'm gonna call a doctor first thing tomorrow morning and... and figure out the process.

Okay.

Um...

I think we should sleep on it.

And maybe we can talk when you're a little bit calmer?

Babe, I'm calm. I want this.

[knocking at door]

[Cole sighs]

Yeah?

Mr. Lockhart.

What now?

[laughs softly]

Yeah, I get it.

I'm in a sh*t mood too.

It sucks having to drive all the way out here again just to ask the same question twice, but here goes...

...where were you the night that Noah Solloway was att*cked?

I already told you.

Stanton: Your home, right.

Except you didn't tell us, your wife did.

Romero: Why do we have a picture of you at a tollbooth right after the George Washington Bridge, the evening of the stabbing?

You used your E-ZPass.

They keep records of stuff like that, so.

Stanton: And the GWB is about 40 minutes from Livingston University, but maybe you already knew that.

Look, Mr. Lockhart, why don't you just tell us where you really were that night?

I told you already. I was with my wife.

You're about to make this a whole lot harder on yourself.

Yeah, if you don't come clean, you're about to become our number one suspect.

Really? Is that a promise?

Just tell them where you were.

[♪ tense music ♪]

Why don't you listen to your wife, man?

Why don't you get the f*ck off my property...

Romero: Oh, f*ck, really?

Take it easy!

Put the cuffs on.

Mr. Lockhart, man, bad move.

Let's go.

[jail cell clanks shut]

[♪ ominous music ♪]

[indistinct chatter]

[gates unlatching]

Alison: Chris Gibbons told me you were here.

[sighs] I got him to let me back so I could see you.

Why?

Look, Cole, we've basically known each other, like, our whole lives.

[sighs]

And you're a lot of things, but you're not a liar.

So just tell me.

If you stabbed Noah, that...

Jesus Christ.

No.

I wasn't anywhere near the guy.

Then where were you that night?

I went up to Woodlawn.

What?

To talk to your doctor.

Dr. Parry, right, that's her name?

Yeah. Why?

[exhales]

To talk about you.

Oh.

When you got back to Montauk, you seemed... clearer.

Seeing you, seeing you with Joanie, just brought a lot of thoughts back to me.

Well, what kind of thoughts?

About us.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

Okay.

♪ ♪

Well, why did you need to see my doctor?

I needed her professional opinion, I guess.

Alison: About what?

About how you are.

[scoffs] Are you kidding me?

What, you, like, you needed permission?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Okay, and, uh, what did she say?

Nothing.

She's a very ethical doctor.

Okay, wait, so, uh, this is the big secret that... that you've been hiding?

Yeah.

Alison: Well, tell the detectives that.

I can't.

Alison: Why not?

Why do you think?

Well, I-I-I have no idea.

If I admit that I went up to Woodlawn, then I have to admit everything to everybody.

A-admit what?

[scoffs]

Alison, I built this whole life, I'm building a whole house just to prove to everybody that I don't love you anymore, that I don't need you, that I don't want you, that I don't miss you.

♪ ♪

But the truth is that I do.

♪ ♪

I need you.

And I want you and I miss you and I love you.

And I'm tired of pretending that I don't.

♪ ♪

So stop pretending.

♪ ♪

I can't.

♪ ♪

Why?

'Cause I'm not Noah Solloway.

♪ ♪

I am a good man.

And I would have to be crazy to trust you after what you did to me, and I can't go down that rabbit hole again.

I'm not gonna jeopardize everything that I've built.

Alison: Yeah, then don't walk away.

Jesus, nobody is holding a g*n to your head.

♪ ♪

But you know you have to make a decision, Cole.

♪ ♪

And look, this is me.

I'm not hiding anything from you.

I've worked really hard on myself, and I am stronger in a lot of ways than I used to be, but I am always gonna be impulsive.

And depressed.

With mood swings.

Yeah, I know that I am not an easy person to love.

But I love you.

♪ ♪

I always have and I always will.

♪ ♪

You know, but this is your decision to make.

[laughs softly]

Yeah, I-I don't envy you.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[gate clangs]

♪ ♪

Luisa: Hey.

Cole: Hey.

Luisa: What did you tell them?

The truth.

Told 'em I went up to the place Alison was getting treated.

To talk to her doctor.

Why?

[belt clinks]

I wanted evidence about her mental state.

To use in the custody case.

Why would you lie to the police for so long about something so simple?

I don't know.

Luisa: I think you're still lying.

I can't talk about this anymore, Luisa.

Good night.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[knocks on door]

[door opens]

[sighs]

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

We keep coming back to each other.

I know.

Don't you think that means something?

I think that means we were unfinished.

Alison: And now... we are?

♪ ♪

You're scared.

I think you're giving up because we've made a mess of everything, and it's too complicated.

If you leave Luisa now, you can't play the good guy anymore.

Then you're an assh*le, just like me.

Yeah, but maybe you're a happy assh*le.

Instead of a miserable hero.

[♪ solemn music ♪]

♪ ♪

You know, if you ever need me, you know where to find me.

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[♪ solemn music continues ♪]

♪ ♪

[pan sizzling]

♪ ♪

You're still here.

This is my home.

Our home.

If you'll still have me.

♪ ♪

[inhales]

♪ ♪

I'll still have you.

[spatula clinks]

♪ ♪

[Cole exhales]

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ I loved you in the morning ♪
♪ Our kisses deep and warm ♪
♪ Your hair upon the pillow ♪
♪ Like a sleepy golden storm ♪