05x10 - Who Are You?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Arrow". Aired October 2012 - January 2020*

Moderator: SageLexington

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Spoiled billionaire playboy Oliver Queen is missing and presumed dead when his yacht is lost at sea. He returns five years later a changed man, determined to clean up the city as a hooded vigilante armed with a bow.
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05x10 - Who Are You?

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "Arrow"...

Felicity: 4 years ago, the Hood took down Justin Claybourne.

You told me that Claybourne didn't have any kids.

There's no record of the kid's name.

He'd be about 30 today.

Just old enough to put on a hood and a mask.

Old enough to want revenge on the man who m*rder*d his father.

Oliver: Evelyn, why?

You're a fraud.

This city needs to be saved from you.

John: Hey.

Lyla: Johnny, I need you to come to the safe house.

Something's wrong with JJ.

Lyla?

Did you find Billy?

Oliver: I didn't know it was Billy.

I couldn't have known.

Hi, Ollie.

I saw you die.

I was saved.

I saw this white light, and...It's-- it's just like they say.

This angel, she-- she reached out to me, but she wasn't an angel.

She was my sister.

What?

Sara--she--she had me teleported to the Wave Rider.

They have this technology that fixed the embolism.

I was there.

Everyone was there.

Nobody saw a white light, and you didn't go anywhere.

That's because she hadn't done it yet.

Ollie...

Ollie I asked her--

I asked her to bring me to your present.

She gave me the same gift that I gave her.

She gave me a second chance.

It's a miracle.

It's a miracle.

[Elevator dings]

Laurel?

Hi, Felicity.

Oh, my God!

Ohh! Oh, my God!

It's a miracle.

Oliver said the exact same thing.

♪ Arrow 5x10 ♪
Who Are You?
Original Air Date on January 25, 2017

Felicity: I thought Sara and the Legends were against changing history.

Sara said that they figured out a way to bring me back without causing a, uh--

An aberration.

Yes. That.

Are you ok?

Fine.

Yeah. I just wish the Legends could bring back everybody we wanted.

What happened? What'd I miss?

We'll talk about it later.

The important thing is that you're back from the past, which they brought you back from months later, and they just dropped you here.

So weird.

Time travel. Am I right?

Wow! Heh.

Do you guys want a coffee?

I, um--gonna get a deca--decaf probably because of...

It's nice to see some things haven't changed.

Oh. I have to call my dad.

He's gonna k*ll me for coming here first.

Laurel, after you...

Uh, y-your dad left with Donna and, uh, it didn't go well.

He's drinking again.

He's in rehab, but he's--he's--he's getting better.

He's getting the help that he needs.

Wow. 9 months.

I guess I have a lot of catching up to do.

Which is why I'm gonna tell everyone to come to the party.

What party?

The party that we're gonna throw for Laurel tomorrow night.

That sounds great.

I mean, I--I would love to see everyone--

Thea and John.

Oh, my--John! Ohh!

I came here to tell you, and I totally forgot.

What's going on with John?

John: I can't believe she's back.

I walked into the bunker, and sh--and she was just there like nothing had happened, like...

Like it was some kind of gift.

How much does she know about what's happened?

We're easing her in.

There's a lot to process.

The recruits.

Prometheus.

The fact that you k*lled his dad.

[Sighs]

Felicity and Lyla are working on finding his mother.

What happened with the dude who trained the two of you?

Well, she...

Doesn't stay in one spot for very long, but, uh, I'm working on finding her.

In the meantime, we need to work on a way of getting you out of here.

Yeah. Well, we did that, remember, and here I am right back on the inside.

Well, John--

No, man. No more running.

It's time I faced this head-on, fight these trumped up charges.

That's an improvement from last time.

Roger that. I'm gonna show Walker that he picked the wrong soldier to screw with.

We need to have some kind of plan.

I'm gonna need one hell of a lawyer.

I might know a guy.

Ugh. Agh.

My captains warned me that you'd be a risk, an American Bratva.

[Speaks Russian]

But I thought that you could be useful.

I did what you asked me to do.

I tried to blow up Kovar's casino.

No. All that you were interested in was k*lling Konstantine Kovar but not for the Bratva.

For yourself, for a woman.

Kovar told me everything.

Kovar...is a government agent, and the deal that you made with him betrays the Bratva.

Your vendetta betrays the Bratva.

My deal with Kovar benefits our brotherhood, and in any case, I am Pakhan.

My decisions are the law, and I will get obedience from you, even if I have to b*at it into you.

Is this why you join Bratva, hmm, to get to Kovar, because you had some promise to her, hmm?

You don't have to drop everything and fly home, Thea.

I'll still be here when the conference is over, and the way Oliver describes it, you're the one that's doing all the heavy lifting at the mayor's office.

I guess spontaneous resurrection is as good as any reason for a party.

But...

But we haven't even buried Detective Malone yet.

It feels weird to be celebrating?

It doesn't feel weird to you?

Y-yes, weird, yeah.

Weird or--I guess.

After the past 4 years, it's just hard for me to accept good news.

Rene: Hss. Weird, man.

She was dead. Now she's not.

Well, that's time travel for you.

Well, I don't mean Laurel being back is what's weird.

It's how you're all reacting to it like it's happened before.

It's happened before?

The Lance sisters have a habit of coming back to life.

Wait, what?

Yo, Curtis.

Come back inside. We're gonna make a toast.

Doesn't feel right to be...

Gathering around like this.

Detective Malone is dead, Evelyn betrayed us, and Prometheus is still out there.

We should be trying to find him, making him pay for everything.

Oliver: A little over a year ago, I--I stood right here, and I remarked that I wished it wasn't just the dark times that brought us together.

With all the loss that we have suffered, I think it's important that we embrace the miracles, too, and that we remember they are still possible.

Welcome home, Laurel.

Cheers.

Hmm.

Rory: Hey.

Felicity: What?!

Sorry.

God.

I wasn't expecting anyone here.

It's late.

I--I don't sleep much or at all.

Side effect of wearing haunted rags, I guess, so I figured I'd train.

What's that?

It's nothing.

It's, uh--it's, uh, my Q-mail, you know, my Facechat, Snapbook stuff.

All the kids are doing these new, crazy social media things.

You know, I just--

You're running a DNA analysis.

Yeah, I am on Laurel's glass.

That, what, you took from the party?

Oh. If by party, you mean my brilliant ruse to collect her DNA, then, yes, you are correct.

Wow.

Yeah.

You know, there's looking a gift horse in the mouth, and then there's--

Being driven by paranoid delusions, drawing comparisons on genetic base pairs?

Yes, I'm aware, thank you.

I--yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

[Computer beeping]

Well?

DNA matches.

Ok. So we can rule out shape shifter.

Yeah.

Ooh. What about, uh, evil twin?

Oh...No.

Ok. I was joking.

No. No. No, no, no, no.

She actually has an evil twin.

Seriously?

Yeah. She's locked up in S.T.A.R. Labs. I'll explain later.

Right now, we have to call Cisco.

[Sonic scream]

[Ears ringing]

Finally. It's about time someone figured it out.

You know, I am so sick and tired of playing this weak, vulnerable Laurel.

She's such a pill, it's pathetic.

[Sonic scream]

You know, the one problem with my ability is that I can never hear my poor, little victims scream.

[Sonic scream]

Oliver: Laurel!

[Sonic scream]

Are you hurt?

I'm gonna be ok, but...

It's not our Laurel.

So that Laurel's from an alternate reality?

Technically, she's from a parallel universe.

We're on Earth-1.

The look-alike Laurel's from another earth, Earth-2.

Over there, we all have doppelganger versions of ourselves who could be very similar or incredibly different based on an infinite amount of variables.

I would love to see what I'm like on Earth-2.

Oh, God. What if I'm straight?

Rory: Ok. One thing I don't get-- well, you know, there's a list of things I don't get, but at the top is this fake Laurel seemed to know, like, everything.

How's that possible?

Prometheus.

Cisco just sent this over.

It is from 3 days ago, but nobody knew because no alarms were tripped.

It's like he's a Dybbuk.

Yeah. I don't know what that is.

One question.

Just one?

Curtis: Prometheus breaks into S.T.A.R. Labs, gets not Laurel, Henry Higginses her into coming off as real Laurel.

That's a lot of hoops. Why not just k*ll you?

Oliver: He told me he doesn't want to.

He's proving to me that I will destroy myself and everyone close to me.

Well, he's gonna be disappointed but we are gonna put Black Siren back in her cage.

Black Siren?

Every meta gets a nickname.

Let's hit the streets.

She is not leaving the city until this is over.

What are you gonna do?

John needs my help as mayor.

I will be on my cell.

Gregor: Let me see if I understand.

You carry this girl with you through all of your trials and tribulations on some island.

Lian Yu?

Yes.

And yet when you get off this island, you do not return home.

No. Instead, you come to a country where you know just one person, you join my organization, pass all of our tests and all of this.

So you can avenge the death of a different woman?

The woman in that photo's name is Laurel, and I didn't return home because after... everything I've been through, everything I've done...

She wouldn't recognize me.

Now I see.

You think that you've been made into a monster.

Better a monster than a sell-out.

How much did Kovar pay you to betray your brothers?

Unh!

Your failure is unacceptable.

You should have let me k*ll them instead of some stupid role-playing idea.

It is not your place to question my agenda.

Your freedom, your life is contingent on following my orders.

Do you understand?

Hey. Thanks for coming in.

No problem.

I wanted to talk with you, as well.

Ok. Uh, the file that I sent you.

John Diggle is my former bodyguard and current friend.

And facing a court-martial for espionage, m*rder, escaping a federal prison, and attempted theft of a WMD.

He's innocent.

So why did he escape a federal prison?

Because he's innocent.

The man who framed him is a 3-star general.

John did not think that he would get a fair trial in the court system, which is where you come in.

Oliver, I'm a city prosecutor, not a m*llitary defense attorney.

That's why I thought of you.

John needs someone outside of the m*llitary infrastructure.

This is the only way for justice to get done.

He doesn't even know me.

John Diggle is a good man.

He's better than the both of us put together.

Getting the Judge Advocates to even to authorize me to pro hoc in would be a miracle.

Sounds like a yes?

Eh, more like a "God help me" and your friend.

Hey. I will owe you one.

This is worth more than one.

Um, actually, uh, hey.

Uh, as if we don't have enough on our plate, have you heard about the circumstances surrounding the death of Detective Malone?

No.

He was wearing Prometheus' outfit when he was k*lled.

His mouth was taped shut, a sword taped into his hand.

There was a wireless speaker found on the scene.

Uh...

What are you saying?

That it looks like Malone was set up, that it looks like the Green Arrow was manipulated into k*lling him.

By Prometheus?

I made sure the cops who caught the scene won't say anything, and I'm handling the coroner.

I just wanted to let you know.

Yeah, that you're gonna...

Cover this up.

If the city finds out that a member of the Anti-Crime unit was Prometheus, there's gonna be panic.

If the Green Arrow k*lled a member of the Anti-Crime unit-- hoo--there's gonna be panic.

Either way...

Got to keep this quiet.

It's the only way to see justice done.

[Cell phone vibrating]

This is Mayor Queen.

Oliver, it's me--Laurel.

Don't you say her name.

I--I'm sorry. What I did was unforgivable, but--but he made me do it--Prometheus.

What do you mean he made you?

He threatened to k*ll me.

You have to help me, please.

Can you meet?

Where?

The Black Canary statue.

I'll be there soon.

Now wait--

Felicity: Any sign of Black Siren?

Oliver: Not yet, but everyone's gonna stand down and do not--

Yeah, we get it.

Felicity: Yeah? Well, I say take her down.

Overwatch!

You heard the boss.

This is an eyes-only operation for you.

I have eyes on.

Boys, I just put you on a separate channel.

Uh, why?

So if Black Siren looks like she's about to double-cross-- and trust me, she will-- you have it on my authority to light her up.

Thank you for meeting me.

You don't believe me.

Prometheus threatened to k*ll me.

You're a very convincing liar.

I deserve that.

According to S.T.A.R. Labs, you'd help Prometheus even if he wasn't threatening anyone.

That's what they think.

What do you think?

I can help you track him.

Take her out.
[Sonic scream]

I told you not to engage!

Rory: We know. It's just-- she, um, spooked us.

You guys are terrible liars.

I told them to move on her.

Since when are they taking orders from you?

I don't know, but I kind of like it.

She had something in her hand.

She had her phone in her hand.

Well, it didn't look like her phone, and I don't trust her, so I told them to move.

I had the situation under control.

She told me that Prometheus forced her to do this.

Now whether or not that is true, she was going to give us valuable Intel on him.

She's playing you, Oliver.

I understand that you're suspicious of her, and I know this Laurel is from another earth, that this is not our Laurel, but we don't know why.

We don't.

I told you. Blinders.

Hey. You good?

Why wouldn't I be?

Just got my ass kicked for the bazillionth time.

So basically, I'm trading a cell in Central City for a cell in Starling City.

Actually, on this earth, we call it Star City.

I'm sorry about the cell.

I told you that Prometheus was going to k*ll me, and that is why I did what I did.

Your history on Earth-2 would suggest you had other reasons.

You don't trust me?

Can you blame me?

No, because on my world, you've been dead for 10 years now.

I moved to Central City for a fresh start.

That's where this happened, and from them, it was just one bad choice after another, and I guess once you let the darkness inside it never comes out, and now I am trapped in a parallel dimension, telling my sob story to... doppelgangers of the man that-- that I loved.

So stop running.

Face the darkness.

How does that work?

First, you need to tell me everything that you know about Prometheus, everything, and then we keep you safe.

And you're willing to do that why?

Why? Because I look like someone you used to know.

Someone once told me that a circumstance could make something poison or nectar.

What they meant was that we get to choose what we are, we get to choose who we are, so tell me...

Who are you?

Rene: Yo. Hold up.

I'll walk with you.

I'm hopping the "L" line.

You taking the subway?

No. I'm just gonna walk.

By yourself? You--you do have a tendency to get your ass kicked.

Did you just come all the way out here just to insult me?

I'm just going home, but that was merely a product--

I'll see you tomorrow, Rene.

Damn you soft.

I thought had some wit, man.

What, the Black Siren kicked that out of you, too?

Not now, man. Not now.

What, did I hurt-- hurt your feelings?

Just let me be, man.

What's your damage, hoss?

I mean, ever since the party, you been off.

You're supposed to be the happy one, remember?

Like what?! Like this?!

What the hell's gotten into you?

I been stabbed, sh*t at, put in a coma, had magic powers used on me, superpowers used against me, and for what?

What difference does it make?

All it's done is cost me my blood, my sweat...

My Paul.

It cost me Paul.

That's your husband, right?

Was.

He left me.

Because of you being Mr. Terrific?

Because of me trying, but I'm never gonna make it because I don't have what it takes...

So now I don't have anything.

[Quick breaths]

Hey. Keep your wrist straight just so you don't jam it.

Mmm.

I, uh--I spoke to Laurel.

When did she become Laurel?

She's not Laurel, not Laurel Laurel.

She's not our Laurel, ok?

Ok. Felicity, I'm-- I can't pretend to understand parallel worlds, but if I'm gonna believe in them-- and--and I kind of have to now-- then I need to believe that differences are caused by circumstances, so why can't we change this Laurel's circumstances?

You think that you can save her?

After she's thrown in with Prometheus?

Under duress.

I...

Heh. I think I can reach her.

When did you find the time to get a Ph.D. in psychology?

I'm a quick study.

My name's Adrian Chase, Star City district attorney.

John Diggle, convict.

You here to add to my charges?

Not exactly. I'm representing you.

Your friend Oliver's persuasive, plus he's my boss. Heh.

General Walker, the guy who wants you out of the picture, you know who his boss is?

The President.

So you can imagine how difficult this is about to be.

Mr. Chase, MP officers are here to remand the prisoner into their custody.

Wait. I thought I was supposed to stay here for now.

You're under their jurisdiction.

The trial--

The trial?

Man, there won't be a trial.

As soon as I'm out of here, Walker will concoct some reason to put a b*llet in my head.

Ahh. Sergeant Diggle. Heh. Good to see you again.

Have Sergeant Diggle cleared out of here and ready for transport ASAP.

Got a long ride back to Langham ahead of us.

So tell me...

What happened between you and Oliver?

Did he find someone else, or were you not tall enough?

Do you have a sister?

Because I hear he loves sisters.

Oliver seems to think that because you look like Laurel that you could become her.

And what do you think?

I think...

You should get used to living in cages.

There's a part of him that blames himself for Laurel's death.

It's who he is, so when he looks at you...

He doesn't just see Laurel.

He sees a sh*t at redemption.

Wow. It must be really frustrating that he doesn't listen to you.

Oh, I'm used to it.

[Alarm blaring]

[Sonic scream]

How'd she escape?

The power went off and the dampener along with it.

Rene: And Goldilocks huffed and puffed and blew the door down.

That's not exactly how her power works.

Was there something wrong with Cisco's specs?

Because didn't we just replicate the pipeline security system?

We did.

I let her go.

What?

Damn, Blondie!

I'm sorry, but, everyone, just relax.

It put tracking nanites in her water, the same once we used to find Malcolm Merlyn.

That makes everything better!

Isn't that exactly how you used Anarky to find Darhk last year?

[Sighs]

Could we have the room, please?

Seriously? This is getting good.

Rene, Rory, come on, guys.

You...

You could have been hurt.

Whatever happened to "if we change her circumstances"?

You risked your life to get a line on Prometheus because of Billy.

Well, now that you're k*lling again, I thought, "why not put it to use?"

No. We're gonna get justice for Billy.

But first, we need to take care of your ex, who's not even your ex.

[Computer beeps]

Felicity on recording: There's a part of him that blames himself for Laurel's death.

It's who he is, so when he looks at you, he sees more than just Laurel.

He sees his sh*t at redemption.

It's like I said. You know me better than almost anyone.

I failed Laurel before.

I can't...

I can't fail her again.

I don't have to remind you that this isn't her.

I know.

Our--our Laurel's gone.

She's the last chance that I have...Ok?

Billy is my responsibility...

And we will get justice for him.

I'll let you know when the trackers metabolize and go live.

Gregor: You've been here for just few months, and already you think you know everything.

Did it not occur to you that I could be playing Kovar?

I--I don't believe that.

Of course you don't because you don't understand that circumstances are what makes a thing poison or nectar.

You believe your fool's errand to k*ll Kovar because you think that you are responsible for this darkness that's inside you.

Like baby blaming himself for being left out in the cold by his mother.

If it weren't for that island...

You would be that harmless American douchebag that you pretended to be in Kovar's casino.

[Coughs]

So I guess I'm...

Just supposed to listen to you instead?

I can give you family, one that does not see a monster but a brother.

All I am asking in return is your obedience.

Or else.

Hmm.

Or else...

[Cocks g*n]

You don't leave this room alive.

So mom and dad are going 12 rounds upstairs.

They're just having a discussion.

Look. I--I know that I took the teasing too far earlier.

I can be an acquired taste, but...I'm sorry to hear about Paul and that I made you feel worse about it.

Thanks. That's really big of you.

So what are you doing down here?

Well, since the Black Siren's cry works on a more powerful frequency than Laurel's, these are useless.

So I was trying to see if there's a way to make the dampener portable so next time we go up against her--

You can take her powers away.

That's awesome.

Yeah. Well, ideas are one thing.

Executing them is another.

You don't get it, do you?

Get what?

That maybe instead of b*ating yourself up about what you can't do, take a moment and appreciate what you can do because it's pretty badass.

General Walker. Sorry, General, but I cannot let you take John Diggle without the proper paperwork turned in.

Excuse me?

Forms I-55 and W-67 and the completed transfer assignment singed by the Langham warden.

Never seen a D.A. get involved in m*llitary matters and on the defense side.

I'm expanding my practice.

Anything else?

It's not common for someone of your rank to personally supervise a prisoner transfer.

I make exceptions for traitors and t*rrorists.

I'll need a district judge to ratify the transfer papers.

That could take a few hours, maybe even a few days.

Do you have the Attorney General on speed dial?

I do, and she owes me a favor.

I can have you disbarred in 15 seconds.

Now I expect the prisoner to be in my custody in 24 hours.

Am I clear?

Mm-hmm.

Tracker's live.

Where is she?

The nanites just metabolized.

I'm triangulating them with the Keyhole satellite feed.

Remind me to upgrade our Internet tomorrow.

Got. 1400 block Brand Boulevard.

Pulling up keyhole now.

Curtis: I think I have something that will help, a mobile version of the dampener from S.T.A.R. Labs.

Think?

I might need some more time with it.

The circuitry's pretty complex, I'm feeling a lot of pressure, and I just want--

Felicity can come with and help you.

Hold up. Not getting a good enough reading off the thermal imaging.

There's no way to tell if Black Siren is actually with Prometheus, and the whole point of doing this is to catch that son of a...

Bitch.

We need to wait till we get visual confirmation on Prometheus.

We're not waiting for anything.

We're gonna bring her in right now.

Get on board with this.

Suit up.

This is private property.

Ma'am, what are you doing here?

I'm just waiting for a friend.

[Sonic scream]

She's here. Create a perimeter. Go!

[Sonic scream]

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

Kidding. I think people in Florida heard that. We need to hurry.

She--she was crazy. She could scream.

Run away and call the police.

[g*ns cock]

Don't move, Trinity.

Oh. I thought you'd be someone else.

Disappointing.

[Sonic scream]

This should do it.

Are you sure?

No, but we're out of time.

[Sword drawn]

Prometheus.

[Sonic scream]

Diazepam. That should slow you down.

[Ears ringing]

Diazepam--you could say I have a tolerance, but you shouldn't be worrying about me right now.

Ahh. Felicity.

I am so sorry, but I think it's about time that I k*ll you.

Felicity or me!

Laurel!

Don't do this.

There's no coming back for you.

If you k*ll Felicity, then you're k*lling that part of yourself that existed before you lost your family.

If you end this now, then we can find that person again...

Together.

She was never there.

[Sonic scream]

[Sonic scream]

[Scream breaking up]

You really need to shut your damn mouth.

Hey, pumpkin.

Ohh!

Hey.

Kept my wrist straight.

You turn me over, I'll be dead before you get back to your office.

I believe you.

You know, when I woke up, I didn't think that I'd be pissing off one of the most powerful men in the m*llitary.

[Whispering] Hit me.

What?

[Whispering] Hit me.

Unh!

What the hell is going on here?

Your prisoner just decked me.

Unsatisfied with your legal counsel?

Who knows, but...

We are in Starling county, and in county code, section 47.15, it specifically states that the district attorney, me, can supersede transfers to other jurisdictions if the suspect commits a secondary crime within my jurisdiction.

Attacking a city official's a very serious offense, Mr. Diggle.

I think I'm gonna have to prosecute this one myself.

It could take a while.

Fine. I'll be back with a writ signed by the President.

Can't wait. I've always wanted her autograph.

You know how people hate to say, "I told you so"?

I don't hate it. I friggin' love it.

You really weren't kidding about that acquired taste thing.

It's like sh**ting fish in a barrel with you.

It's cool. I can take it.

You were right, Rene.

I need to start embracing what I can do for the team instead of what I can't.

That's what I'm talking about.

More tinkering and less fighting.

Well, I--I wouldn't exactly call it tinkering.

Oh, one more thing.

Yeah. What's up?

You put your hands on me like that one more time, and I'll kick your ass.

Ha! Heh heh heh.

Oh. Good talk.

Ohh!

Ooh!

This is why I usually leave the punching to you guys.

It was a memorable punch.

Ow. Typing is going to be a...bit of a challenge the next couple days.

Serves me right.

Because I let Black Siren go, one of those guards could have gotten k*lled.

We almost got Prometheus.

Your plan worked. He was there.

No. If it worked, we'd be putting cuffs on him right now.

We'll get there.

We'll get him.

I'm sorry she wasn't her.

I know.

I'm sorry about Billy.

He was a good man.

Like you.

So I'm guessing that Laurel is on her way back to Central City then.

Secure lockup at Argus.

I'm keeping her close because...

If there's anything left of the real Laurel in there...

I'm gonna find it.

You know what?

I could really get used to this newfound optimism of yours.

I'm done asking.

Follow me or die.

[g*nf*re]

Find out what's happening.

[g*nf*re]

Hello, Mr. Queen.

My name is Talia.

I've been looking for you.

Felicity: Just doesn't feel right, them just taking it away like this.

We should build a new one.

I think we can do better.

Yeah. What are you thinking?

I haven't kept my promise to Laurel.

You're gonna train a new Black Canary?

I think that somewhere out there there is a woman worthy of Laurel's legacy, and...now all we got to do is find her.

[Heavy metal playing]

Man: ♪ 10,000 watts of power... ♪

You boys want another round?

No. I was thinking of ordering something that's, uh, not on the menu, huh?

Hey. Where you going, baby?

Woman: Seriously, could you two be any more of a cliche?

Don't worry, sweetheart.

There's plenty of me to go around.

I thought people like you only existed in the movies.

You know, two guys trying to overcompensate for their lack of manhood by taking it out on a defenseless woman.

What are you gonna do about it?

[Sonic scream]

That.
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