12x23 - All Along the Watchtower

[bunniefuu]

Did you know people tell stories about us?

Yeah. Apparently, we're a little bit legendary.

Kansas:

♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪

♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪

Pew.

♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪

♪ Don't you cry no more ♪

♪

- Let's begin.

- Mom?

Mary: I have sort of been working with the British Men of Letters.

Sam: I know how much you hate them.

Dean: No, we hate them.

Us. Together.

Lucifer is back.

♪ Once I rose above the noise and confusion ♪

♪ Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion ♪

Dr. Hess: Crowley's dead, and the Devil is out looking for his son.

Castiel: A nephilim is come into being.

I can feel it. I'm its mother.

♪ Though my eyes could see ♪

My baby's not evil.

♪ Though my mind could think ♪

Castiel: He showed me the future.

How?

I have faith...

Don't.

...in this child.

♪ I can hear them say ♪

♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪

Mr. Ketch: She will sh**t you.

♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪

♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪

Mary.

♪ Don't you cry no more ♪

[ Birds chirping ]

♪

God, please.

I need help.

Man: [ Scandinavian accent ]

I'm trying to help you, ma'am.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Are you, Sven?

Because if you ask me if I have the quarter-inch Allen wrench one -- one more time, I am going to come down there and burn your giant Viking junkyard of a store to the ground!

Do you understand?!

Are you sure it wasn't in the box?

[ Sighs ] God!

[ Cellphone thuds ]

Kelly.

I told you I'd put this together.

I'm very good at following instructions.

And you need to rest.

No, I don't.

Kelly --

No, Cass, I don't.

[ Strained voice ] I can't.

I don't know how long until...

I don't know how long I have left.

And I...I'm never gonna be able to teach him how to ride a bike or watch him get married or even look him in the eyes.

[ Voice breaks ] But I can build him a stupid Swedish crib!

I can do that.

Kelly, I know how hard this is.

That's a lie.

I have no idea how hard this is for you.

But I promise you... I will do everything.

I will give my life for your son.

And I will raise him.

And I will make him someone you will be proud of.

[ Voice breaks ] I know.

Okay, let me just get this straight.

So... [ Clears throat ] we b*at the Brits, we kicked their psycho, tea-swilling asses, and instead of popping champagne and headin' to Vegas, we get Lucifer.

And you're sure it's him?

Yeah.

That's his old vessel, too.

How is that possible?

Crowley, I guess.

And now he's dead.

Well, that's what Hess said.

But Crowley's a freakin' cockroach.

I'll believe he's gone when I see the body and burn it.

This is gonna hurt.

[ Grunts ]

♪

[ Grunts ]

♪

We don't need Crowley.

We need Rowena.

I mean, she's the one who can slam Lucifer back into the Cage.

Great. So where is she?

[ Cellphone vibrates, rings ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring, beep ]

Oh, hey, Sammy.

[ Inhales sharply ]

What?

[ Beep ] Oh, if you're looking for Rowena, she is presently indisposed.

Which is a delicate way of saying, I stomped on her face till the white meat showed, and then set her on fire, just in case.

Ah. Gingers.

It was messy and... screamy, but it had to be done, Sam.

I'm about to be a dad.

Can't raise the little nipper from a jail cell now, can I?

Speaking of... you know where your little pal Castiel is?

Go to hell.

Ooh! Good one. Witty.

I'll use that in the future.

[ Inhales deeply ]

All right, well, I'd love to chat with ya, but, uh, why waste my time, right?

It's not like you matter.

I don't need to put on the old Sam suit anymore, do I?

You know, if you think we're just gonna let you walk --

Oh, hey, Dean!

Y--

I know you fellas are gonna try, you know, whatever.

Whatever you're gonna try.

But you can't k*ll me.

You've never been able to k*ll me.

And with, uh, witch bitch gone, you can't put me back in the Cage, so like I said... you don't matter.

Okay?

Buh-bye. Buh-bye.

[ Thud ]

Bye, dear.

[ Metal rattling ]

[ Birds calling ]

[ Engine turns off ]

I'm just saying, the checkout guy looked at us like we were super weird.

Ah, you'll get used to it.

Okay, but...Cass, I mean, you went a little overboard.

I disagree.

I have read books on child rearing, and there is one thing that they all agree on -- everybody poops.

Well, you're not wrong.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Groans, grunts ]

I'm fine. I'm...

[ Exhales sharply ]

I'm fine.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Groans ]

[ Typing ]

[ Grunts ]

You know, Lucifer's right.

We can't k*ll him and we can't slam his ass back in the Cage.

Yeah. Okay. So maybe we play for time.

[ Thud ]

Find Cass and Kelly, keep 'em moving.

If Lucifer can't find them, he can't hurt them.

You think Castiel is gonna go along with that?

You think we'll give him a choice?

♪

Mary: And the baby?

Sam: Hopefully, we can still siphon off its grace.

If not, uh... [ Sighs ] we'll figure something else out.

Yeah, we better.

All right, then.

Kind of always wanted to punch the Devil in the face.

So how do we find them?

All right, look, we know Kelly's gonna have that kid soon.

Like, really soon.

And according to the lore, whenever a nephilim is born, there are signs.

Uh, storms, outbreaks of disease, uh, plague of locusts.

Things get Biblical.

Exactly. That much power into the world, whenever and wherever it happens, things get weird.

So we're looking for something...weird.

♪

Yeah. Story of our lives.

[ Wind blowing ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Thunder rumbling ]

[ Thunderclap ]

Where...

[ Thunderclap ]

How...

[ Snarling ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Growls ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Thunder rumbling ]

[ Thunderclap ]

You?

[ Beep ]

Hi, Jack. It's, uh...

I'm your mom.

[ Exhales deeply ]

I know you're gonna be okay.

You are gonna be... amazing.

You have an angel watching over you. [ Chuckles ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Whispers ]

God, I love you, Jack.

[ Crying ]

I love you so much.

[ Chuckles, sniffles ]

Sorry.

[ Whispers ] I love you.

[ Exhales, sniffles ]

[ Beep ]

♪

[ Groans, gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Inhales shakily, grunts ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Inhales deeply ] Oh.

Hey, listen to this -- two-headed calf was born in Lava Hot Springs, Idaho.

That's weird.

That is weird.

Yeah, but not our kind of weird.

Look, whatever this thing is gonna be, it -- it's gonna be big and bad --

You rang?

Hello, boys.

[ Grunts ]

Did you do it?

Did you let Lucifer out?!

I didn't “let” --

Don't!

[ Strained voice ] Moose, a little help here!

Dean, wait.

Seriously?

Seriously?

Look, just don't k*ll him.

He worked the Cage spell with Rowena. Maybe he can help us.

And what if he can't?

Well, then we k*ll him.

[ Crowley sighs ]

Cage spell?

[ Chair clatters ]

Thought you had mother for that.

Rowena's dead.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Lucifer.

Funny.

I always thought I'd be the one to k*ll her.

Crowley...why did you do it?

Save Lucifer --

What did you want?

I wanted to win.

I perverted mother's spell, put Lucifer in a vessel of my own making because I wanted to win.

You have any idea how many people have made a play for my throne over the years?

Lucifer, Abaddon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Too damn many.

I thought if I could put the Devil on a leash...

[ Sighs ]

my own personal nuke, no one would ever dare challenge me again.

Yeah.

That worked out great.

All ended with me narrowly escaping death by hiding in a rat.

Wait.

In an...actual rat?

Wasn't too bad, really.

Gave me time to think.

You know, I've been focused for so long on keeping my job.

Never realized I hate it.

All those whining demons, the endless moan of damned souls, the paperwork!

I mean, who wants that?

You.

Unh-unh. Once, maybe.

So why are you here?

Well, whenever there's a world-ending crisis at hand, I know where to place my bets.

It's on you, you big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel.

So if you'll forgive my transgression, I'll make it worth your while.

Which means?

After we put Lucifer back in his cage -- together -- I'll seal the gates of Hell.

You'll never see another demon again, apart from, of course, yours truly.

You would do that?

Why not?

They s*ab me in the back, I'll happily s*ab them in the front, the sides, and right up their little black-eyed asses.

So... we have a deal?

♪

Cass?

Cass?

[ Sighs ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Castiel?

[ Groans ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Kelly.

Where were you?

I, um...

uh, nowhere.

Um, is everything okay?

No.

The baby, it's...

[ Exhales sharply ]

I think it's time.

[ Groans ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Gasps ] Oh, my God.

Look at me.

Oh, God.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Ooh. [ Inhales sharply ]

[ Groans ]

[ Typing ]

[ Glass thuds ]

This is what you do when I'm not here?

Type?

Yep.

Wait a second. I got something.

Okay, two hours ago, there was a massive power outage in the Pacific Northwest.

Sounds like the right kind of weird.

Oh, yeah. Wait.

[ Taps key ]

They tracked the outage to an address in North Cove, Washington, to a house currently being rented by one James Novak.

That's Cass. Let's roll.

It's about time.

Aah!

[ Electricity crackles ]

Think we're gonna trust you out there after what you pulled?

Hmm?

No. You stay here, you sit down, and you shut up.

♪

[ Inhales sharply, exhales slowly ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

You're all right.

The pressure waves are still very far apart.

[ Exhales sharply ]

“Pressure waves”?

It's what they -- it's what they called contractions in my doula class.

I-I took it online.

First-time mothers, labor can be to hours, sometimes longer.

It... [ Sighs ]

Although, given this is the child of Lucifer and a quasi-celestial being...

They didn't cover that online?

They did not.

[ Chuckles ]

♪

Cass?

Thank you.

For everything.

Of course.

[ Exhales deeply ]

♪

[ Groaning ]

[ Whimpering, breathing heavily ]

Kelly.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Tell me again.

Tell me again what you saw.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Right, I saw -- I saw...

I saw the future.

♪

[ Electricity crackling ]

I saw a world without pain or hunger or want.

I saw the world that this child... that your child...

Mm.

...will create.

Mm.

And it is a world without fear and without suffering and without hate.

Mm. [ Inhales shakily ]

I saw paradise.

[ Cries ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

♪

[ Vehicle approaching ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Engine turns off ]

[ Car doors open, close ]

♪

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

Dean?

Cass, is this place warded?

Yes, heavily.

Heavy enough to stop Lucifer?

Lucifer?

He could be right behind us.

I don't...

What are you doing here?

Saving your ass.

Look, you and Kelly just taking off was a stupid move.

But there's no way we're letting Lucifer get his hands on that kid.

It ain't happening.

Look, Sam's right, okay?

We'll work through our crap.

We always do.

But right now, we are here to get you, get Kelly, and get gone.

She can't be moved.

She's having a --

[ Kelly groaning loudly ]

I'll check on her.

How much time do we have?

We don't know.

Hey, if he shows, can you flame on again?

Can you torch Lucifer like you did Dagon?

I don't know. No, that wasn't me. That was the child.

And in case you haven't noticed, he's a little busy.

[ Groans ] Son of a bitch.

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Sighs deeply ]

Here, Dean.

Mm.

Let me.

[ High-pitched ringing ]

[ Boot thuds ]

[ Chuckles ] Thanks.

All right, we should double-check the warding.

Wait.

[ Electricity crackling ]

Right. So listen, if we, uh...

Cass? What is that?

It's a tear in space and time.

Dean: Uh, and that means?

It's a doorway to another world.

Anoth-- What, like Narnia?

No. No, through there it's Earth, but...but different.

It's a -- it's an alternate reality.

So it's a Bizarro world?

Or -- or like the place we got zapped to where we were, uh, uh, actors on a TV show.

Oh, yeah.

The supernatural wasn't real.

Yeah.

And you were Polish.

R-right.

Wait, Cass, how did this get here?

Well, the child being born, his power, it seems to be puncturing the fabric of our universe.

Awesome.

Yeah.

And what exactly is on the other side?

You don't wanna know.

Probably.

But we need to.

♪

[ Wind blowing ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Thunderclap ]

Whoa.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Cass, what is this?

As I said, it's -- it's Earth.

But this Earth is locked in eternal w*r between Heaven and Hell.

There are armies of angels fighting hoards of demons, and the few humans that remain are caught in between.

How do you know that?

A friend told me.

Oh, good. Now you're makin'

friends? That's...

All right, on a scale of to , how bad is this?

[ Scoffs ] I don't know.

I gotta say, a, uh, hole in reality to a bombed out Apocalypse world?

I'm gonna go with .

Sounds right.

[ Thunderclap ]

You don't have to worry.

The child, he opened this door.

He'll close it.

You sure about that?

I have faith.

Really?

In your unborn baby-God?

Yes.

Well, then, you're a dumbass.

♪

Guys. Guys!

[ g*ns cock ]

Hey! Hands in the air!

No. Don't.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Bobby?

♪

[ Thunderclap ]

Do I know you?

Bobby...

Sam. Dean. Cass.

Uh-huh.

You say that like it's supposed to mean something to me, but...naw.

Sam, this is Bobby, but it's your B--

Bobby, it's us.

Sam and Dean Winchester.

The only Winchester I ever heard of was John.

Yeah.

John Winchester, our father.

[ Scoffs ]

Doubt it. He's dead.

Been dead over years now.

Only reason I know about him is this Hunter I ran with, Mary Campbell.

You get a few pints of shine into her, and she always told the same story about the man she loved -- John Winchester.

[ Thunderclap ]

Azazel k*lled her about years ago.

Cass, what the hell is this?

This is a world where you were never born.

It's a world you never saved.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

[ Thunderclap ]

Aah! [ Cries ]

[ Inhales deeply, whimpers ]

[ Whispers ] Okay.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Sniffles ]

I think they're less than five minutes apart now.

It's almost time.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Laughs, sniffles ]

How you doin'?

[ Whispers ] I'm dying.

[ Inhales shakily, exhales sharply ]

I know.

♪

[ Voice breaking ]

But that's okay.

'Cause wouldn't you die for your sons?

[ Crying softly ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Yeah.

When this... [ Sighs ] whatever opened up, all sorts'a alarms went off back at my place.

I got here just in time to see your boy get ambushed by a tempter demon.

A what?

It's, um... black eyes, pointed teeth, horns.

Wait a second.

Demons have horns now?

Whole new world, Sam.

Usually I g*n down flyboys on sight.

But, uh, he looked... different.

Wasn't wearing a necklace made out of baby ears, for one thing.

We got to talking about where I came from and our two worlds.

[ Thunderclap ]

From what he says, pretty much peaches and cream on your side.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

It's better than this.

Well, I don't know.

Ain't so bad here, if you like k*lling angels.

And you do?

It's my hobby and my passion.

So...I figured, it's only a matter of time before the dicks upstairs get wind'a this.

And when they show...

me and Rufus go to work.

He's loaded with a hundred rounds, cast from old angel blades.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Wait, angel-k*lling b*ll*ts?

Awesome. [ Chuckles ]

[ Screams ]

[ Crying ]

Okay. Okay.

[ Sniffling ]

[ Continues crying ]

You're okay.

[ Whoosh ]

Are you all right?

No, Cass.

Pretty far from all right.

I mean, we've got Lucifer on this side, we've got Mad Max World on that side.

I mean, yeah, we've been down before, but this?

I-I mean, I don't even know where to start.

Oh, come on!

Hello, boys. Again.

Wait a second, how the hell did you --

I improvised.

Lucky I did.

Turns out I'm the answer to all your problems.

[ Exhales deeply ]

♪

[ Knock on door ]

May I speak with her?

Sure.

Mary.

I'll be back.

[ Whispers ] Okay.

Cass...

what's wrong?

♪

You ready?

Nope.

When has that ever stopped us?

Yeah.

You know, Cass has faith in this kid.

Mm.

I hope he's right.

[ Sighs ]

But me?

I have faith in us.

You, me, Mom, Cass.

And Crowley. Sometimes.

Mm.

This is gonna work.

It has to.

Don't worry.

It will be fine.

Remember -- paradise,.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

Well... [ Exhales ]

this is a fun surprise.

♪

I gotta hand it to you guys.

You never give up, even when you should.

Even when it would be so stupid not to.

Look, whatever you're planning on doing, Chuck...God will stop you, just like he did last time.

You're right.

What should I do?

Oh, God!

Don't strike me dead!

[ Laughs ] Come on, Sam.

You sound like a virgin in Jesus camp.

[ High-pitched voice ]

“We can't. God is watching.”

[ Normal voice ]

No. Chuck “walked.”

He's gone.

So you're just gonna smash his toys?

Exactly.

'Cause every time I look at this sad trash fire of a world, you know what I keep thinking?

I could do so much better.

So Apocalypse, take two.

That's your plan?

When in doubt, go with the classics.

That's what I always say.

Well, boys, enough with the foreplay.

Let's do this.

See you on the other side, boys.

[ Grunts ] Aah!

Well, that worked.

[ Giggles ]

Mature.

Real mature!

You guys?

I really want to enjoy this.

Really wanna savor just ripping you apart, gettin' all up in there, and gettin' all gooey.

But, you know, little slugger's almost here and, uh...

Well, I'm on the clock.

♪

[ Whoosh ]

Interesting.

[ Whoosh ]

Mm.

Nice.

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Thunder rumbling ]

You wanted the Apocalypse?

You got it.

Sammy.

Hey.

[ Thunderclap ]

Where's your big bro?

Right here.

Ooh. Sweet toy.

Yeah, I got it off an old -- new pal of mine.

See, we have this bet, see if it works against an archangel.

So... say hello to my little friend.

[ Rapid g*nf*re ]

[ Grunting ]

Took you long enough.

Not now, Crowley. Come on.

[ Continues grunting ]

Yeah, baby!

Come on!

Uhh!

♪

[ Whoosh ]

[ g*n clicking ]

We do this ritual, we seal that rift, and we lock the Devil in this godforsaken place.

That's the plan, remember?

Two birds, one spell.

Right, right. Just hurry.

[ g*n clicks ]

You lose.

[ Grunts ]

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Punches landing, Dean grunting ]

Uh, Dead Sea brine, uh, mercury, lambs blood, holy oil.

Here we go.

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Thunderclap ]

That's the last of it.

That's everything.

No, it's not.

What?

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Groans, grunts ]

If we wanna seal that rip, we need one more minor ingredient.

-What?

- A life.

Ah, I could do this all day.

You make such funny noises.

[ Grunts, wheezes ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Clears throat ]

Surprise.

[ Laughs ]

Crowley!

[ Chuckles ]

You sneaky little...

So I guess I get to k*ll you twice, huh, Crowley?

I doubt it.

Oh, no, no.

You had your chance.

You could've put me back in the Cage, but... you had to make it personal, didn't you?

You're right.

It is personal.

You humiliated me.

I...

I hate you. Deeply.

Truly.

I'm gonna enjoy wiping that smug, self-satisfied look off your face.

Personally.

You mean...this one?

Come on, Crowley.

You know whatever you try, you're gonna lose.

You're right.

Bye, boys.

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Whoosh ]

Cass?

No, come on. Come on!

Cass!

Cass! Cass!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

We gotta go! We gotta go!

[ Whoosh ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Whoosh ]

[ High-pitched ringing ]

[ Whispers ] I love you.

[ Grunts ]

♪

[ Squish ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Whoosh ]

Cass.

[ Whoosh ]

[ Squish ]

[ Gasping ]

[ High-pitched ringing ]

No!

[ Thud ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

That was fun.

Seriously, guys, points for trying.

Super impressed, but, uh... playtime's over.

♪

Get away from them.

Mary, right?

Yeah, I've heard about you.

You, uh, are certainly living up to the hype.

[ Growls playfully, chuckles ]

Look, seriously, I just wanted to say thank you for everything.

I owe ya, kid.

Mom, Mom, Mom.

I love you.

♪

[ Clicks tongue ] Cute.

Is that all you got, mama?

[ Blade clatters ]

[ Grunts, gasps ]

Mom!

[ Whoosh ]

Aah!

- Mom, Mom! No!

- No! No!

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Whoosh ]

No, no! No!

No!

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Gasping]

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

♪

[ Humming ]

[ Door opens, closes ]

♪

[ Whooshing ]

[ Clattering in distance ]

♪

[ High-pitched ringing ]

♪

[ High-pitched ringing

continues ]

[ Gasps, exhales sharply ]